DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own. PLEASE REVIEW! I will take advice and suggestions from my readers while continuing the story. If you have future pairings or anything you'd like to see, let me know!

Thinking

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

Emphasis

Minato was aggravated, to put it mildly. Kushina's lucky she's on a mission…

Were it any other child, he would've been quite put out that she could evade him, but of course, this was Jiraiya-sensei's daughter. Maybe. Well, he couldn't deny that she was at least legally sensei's daughter, since he'd finally gotten a response from the man via toad. But Jiraiya-sensei didn't offer any real information at all other than asking him to "leave the girl alone. I'll talk to you about it in person later." But how could he stay away? Jiraiya was like a father to him, so this was basically his little sister! He didn't realize that he was grinning both stupidly and widely at that thought, or even that his comrades were looking at him oddly because of it.

Paranoid little thing.

He'd gotten fairly close to the little blonde one evening while she was battling a large fish with one of Jiraiya's old fishing poles and nets, but then she'd sped off away from him once again. Knowing his sensei's tightwad tendencies, Minato worried that little Naruto-chan might be running out of food or who knows what else. He'd been on the other side of Jiraiya's "thriftiness" for many years now, after all. Since the fishing incident in an isolated part of the Naka River a few days ago, he'd seen her hunting, too, which is what led him to sneak into Jiraiya's flat while she was at school. He hadn't expected the same level of traps that sensei made, nor where she placed them - which was everywhere! Also unexpected was the addition of spray paint by the windows that had been really difficult to get off.

He shook his head fondly as he thought of all this, but then sighed heavily as he looked into the trash can outside of Jiraiya's apartment. "DO NOT EAT: PROBABLY POISONED" All the food he'd snuck into their refrigerator and pantry had been dumped. Honest to Kami, this girl: paranoid indeed! There had to be some way to help her! Maybe I should go to the Hokage…

Passing the Academy, he felt Kakashi-brat's chakra spiking and decided to go peek at what was going on. Ah, taijutsu practice: oooo! Perfect timing! He watched the two smallest chibis block and pound each other in a flurry of silver and gold. It was quite impressive - especially considering that they were so young - although it only made sense that sensei's daughter would be able to hold her own. Still, though, Sakumo-sensei had trained his son well - and everyone knew the little brat was a genius. Perhaps Naruto-chan was one as well.

The Shinigami let out a bark of laughter for the first time in his existence. Embarrassed - also for the first time - he quickly went back to reaping and beating the shit out of the idiots in his stomach.

Kids seemed to be loudly cheering the little blonde on especially, Minato noted - at least until she suddenly pulled down Kakashi's mask and smashed her fist straight into his mouth. Oh God, that had to hurt! Minato had a hard time hiding the snickers and snorts that were threatening to burst out of his mouth. Kakashi now looked like an absolutely murderous puppy, especially as his fangirls started either screaming at the blonde or squealing in delight.

"You got blimp lips now, ya bastard," the little blonde snarked. That was apparently the last straw for Kakashi's fan base, as the sensei completely lost control of his class. His female students were all chasing the by far smallest girl around the training area as they hurled absolutely obscene insults at her. The boys were cheering Naruto-chan and wishing her luck to stay alive.

Kakashi was suddenly in his tree, looking so cute and furious with his little hands balled up in fists that it only made Minato laugh harder. He tried to rub the kid's silver hair, but the brat ran off. Oh no! He's not crying, is he? He'd never seen Kakashi-kun cry before - he didn't even know if Sakumo-sensei had! He wondered whether the brat was just silent and glaring even at birth. That thought made him laugh out loud again.

The girls had finally caught up with their prey. Minato ran over to help the Academy sensei pull pre-teens off the little blonde, thanking Kami above that he never had fangirls like this to deal with.

More than half the female population of four shinobi villages between the ages of six to ninety-four suddenly sneezed. For an unknown reason, Jonin Uzumaki Kushina felt enraged and had to be tackled away from those already suffering from apparent hay fever. "What the hell, Kushina?!" Fugaku snapped, before being chained and slammed into a tree.

Stupid stuck-up Redeye should know better than to stop me, thought the angry redhead. She heard a stupid giggle coming from behind another nearby tree, so she whipped out another chain to once again teach Hizashi some manners.

Hyuuga Hizashi had barely activated his dojutsu before he was also swept up. How had he ever thought this mission would be fun without Sakumo-sensei to hold his horrible Genin teammates accountable and in-check?

Naruto laid bloody and bruised under a pile of girls, wondering if the banshees had broken any of her ribs. The pile was getting lighter, at least. She finally opened her eyes only to stare into the exact same shade of blue she'd seen in the mirror every day of her two lives. She heard her fa-, no, Minato-san gasp before quickly sitting up and then running back inside the schoolhouse and into the girl's bathroom.

Hearing an evil but childish laugh above him, Minato looked up to see Kakashi in the second-floor window. Even with his mask on, it was obvious that the boy had enjoyed seeing the girl all banged up. Minato could also guess that the brat was wishing for his fellow young classmate's demise.

As much as he deemed the two kids adorable - and a little horrible - he couldn't think of anything as much as he did Naruto-chan's big blue eyes… Eyes that were so much like his own.

Wow: she… she really looks a lot like me. Maybe that's why Jiraiya-sensei adopted her? Stupid thought: she could actually be his, after all. Normally, though, Jiraiya-sensei was so CAREFUL - or at least he was obsessed with telling his student to be careful every time he saw him. Not to mention all the condoms that he's angry I'm not using... Minato felt his cheeks heat up at the whole thought of those discussions.

Naruto cleaned herself up and waited for her Uzumaki genetics along with Kurama to heal more as she waited in front of the sink, staring at the reflection in the mirror. All she saw there, though, was a vision of her father looking back at her. Not knowing who I really am...