DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own.

Thinking

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

"Cannon Fodder," Kurama stated plainly as he crossed his arms, indignant over all the Will of Fire bullshit the tree-huggers espoused when in reality they sent kits out to their deaths just like any other village.

"Don't say that! I'm just... surprised that some of them actually graduated, ya know? Do you think that they'll maybe fail their Genin tests?"

"Undoubtedly, if they make pathetic attempts to kill their Jonin-sensei the way you and your slightly more talented Genin teammates did."

"Was that a compliment," Naruto began to ask but hurriedly corrected herself before her bijuu had an opportunity to say something grouchy and awful. "Never mind. And don't blame me for trying to kill him: Kakashi-sensei asked us to go at him with the intent to kill, and considering how many times I had almost psychotic thoughts toward that man," she exaggerated, "it's understandable why I attacked the way I did." She laughed gently, not even realizing that she spoke outside of her head, which got a curious reaction from the only other person who was sitting in the classroom. "And seriously, Kurama," she sighed and looked down before leaning back against his enormous paw, "even as bad off, untrained and badly schooled as I was back then, I still think I was better prepared for some of the battles that were ahead of me than some of these kids are. Especially the civilian-born kids, I hate to say."

"War is impending. The villages will require pawns in order to safely move their more important pieces effectively."

"Well isn't that just a lovely thought... It's not fair to them, ya know? They may even lose their lives..."

"Tch. When has life been fair to either of us, Naruto? Life is unfair, and unfairness is Life's nature," he added sagely but quite negatively before smirking at the blonde, with a hint of malice behind his next words. "Grow up: oh wait; you're a shrimp. You're a shrimp that knows better, though. And some of those morons will, at best, be taken into the Genin Corps."

"The Genin Corps?"

"Aiming high, then?" Kakashi smirked. Naruto looked at him as if she'd been in some kind of trance or had no idea that she'd said that aloud, which made what he said no fun at all since it failed to rile her up. "It's just fantastic to be teamed with an airhead," he sighed.

Naruto snapped back to the issue at hand - the person with whom she was sitting alone in the classroom. "Mmm... Did you say something?" Both 5-year-olds sat and stared at each other: him because she was obviously paying no attention to him at all, and her, because she'd accidentally repeated what Kakashi-sensei had said nearly daily to either his team or his eternal rival just to be an ass. Then she broke into a fit of giggles. Finally calming down and feeling unnerved by the way the boy stared at her blankly from behind his mask, Naruto huffed and then asked what he thought was going to happen next.

"I know I'm going to be apprenticed to a certain Jonin-sensei." He wondered why Naru looked so pouty about that. "What? You're here, too. You nearly tied with me in every subject and discipline, so don't you think that you'll be apprenticed as well?"

Naruto only shrugged. She knew that the Kakashi-sensei of the future had been apprenticed to her father - which he never even told her about and she had to learn from Jiraiya that the lazy perv studied directly under her hero, the Yondaime when she was on her training trip. Asshole-sensei... Maybe that's how I should refer to him when I think of future-him? Yes, that's exactly what she'd do from now on to differentiate Kakashi The Small from the henceforward called Asshole-sensei.

They waited for more than another hour, both reading books and scrolls about jutsus and their elemental affinities during the time they waited for another Jonin to show up to their otherwise empty classroom. Naruto wondered if Kakashi's father, Sakumo-sama, was going to show up. Maybe that's where Asshole-sensei learned that being late was acceptable?

It didn't seem likely, though... From what she'd heard from people around the village, shinobi included (even in Ero-sennin's own words,) "Hatake Sakumo is the best shinobi the Leaf has," outside of the Sandaime Hokage of course.

Hearing quiet, slow - almost hesitant steps approaching their classroom, both small children sat up in their seats. Kakashi knew that the person approaching was NOT Minato-san, so he assumed the shinobi must be there for Naruto.

Naruto, on the other hand, felt like her heart was in her throat. Sure enough, as the teenager lazily strolled into their classroom, she almost whimpered out the name of her old classmate, the genius... The first and only boy she'd ever had feelings for. Shikamaru?

"You're with me, brats," Shikaku said as he lifted his hands up a bit in exasperation. "What a drag." He turned and looked behind him as he left the classroom behind, wondering why the kids weren't following him. Weren't really little kids like fawns, following their mothers or whatever? And since they were tiny shinobi kids, shouldn't they be behaving like Nara fawns? "Troublesome. Get your chibi asses out here before I fail you both." He smirked as he saw both kids frantically move to put away their crap and run behind him.

He didn't get why the girl had tears in her eyes. He guessed that he must be a pretty damn imposing character to the little girl. Then he reminded himself of who her father was - and what her last name was - and decided that it must be something else. Maybe the Hatake kid was being mean to her? If that was the case, he could fail them right now.

And THAT would mean that finally, perhaps something good happened!

Just outside of the Academy doors, Shikaku dropped down into the grass. Sadly, the ground was beginning to harden. What a drag. He yawned loudly and openly before addressing his assigned brats who were standing in front of him. The Hatake kid looked confused but lazy as all hell, while the Uzumaki girl looked like she was buzzing with excitement but also miserable. How did that even work? It seemed exhausting.

He thought of his classmate, Uzumaki Kushina, and shivered. Exhausting, indeed. He didn't understand how Minato handled it. Or whyyyyy in the world he even liked her like that.

"Troublesome. My name is Nara Shikaku and I've been assigned to be your Jonin-sensei. I should give you a test to see if you're prepared to be Genin, but that's just too taxing." Shikaku yawned again before shaking his head while making a grumbling sound. "You may call me Shikaku-sensei, but please don't do that in public too often. If you've gotta find me, just come up to me and be quiet about it." He wouldn't admit it out loud, but he dreaded his comrades' reactions to seeing chibi Genin following him around. It was just too much of a hassle to deal with.

"I'll have a lot of missions with my team outside of what I'll be forced to do with you. The Hokage has decided that during my real missions," he pretended to yawn once again but smirked behind his hand at both the way the Hatake brat bristled at that comment, while the Uzumaki girl seemed to have relaxed and understood that D-ranked missions weren't really missions at all. They were chores, pure and simple. BUT they were also good ways of earning income for the village while some schmuck - like him now - had to drag the kids here and there to do stupid things. He finished his fake, long yawn, and almost chuckled at the way the little blonde's eyes teared as she tried her hardest not to yawn, too. "As I was saying, during my real missions with my team, you'll be training with one of several shinobi. Some of them, I'm sure you've heard of. We'll go over that, but first: don't let this go to your head. Your necks are too tiny for shit like that, and no matter who your fathers are, you're not special. I don't give a rat's ass about how you were at the top of your class." He laid back on his elbows and was glad the two looked so uncomfortable. They needed a dose of reality, as far as he was concerned.

"There has been plenty of shinobi in the past who were the WORST in their Academy graduating class, but turned into the best shinobi the village has when it counted." He saw the Hatake kid look at his teammate while she tried to hide a smile. So they know that her father was the "dead last," eh? Scary perverted Toad Sage...

"What I'm trying to say is that I won't put up with your egos, your tears, your baby fantasies about what shinobi are and aren't, and I also have to tell ya," this time his near yawn was real, "this is tiring." He laid down fully in the grass and stared up at the clouds which were getting darker. He got comfier and put his hands behind his head. "My jutsu is unlike anything you two can do or will ever be allowed to do. After you're Chunin, you'll learn your affinity..." Two hands were raised. "Troublesome. Hatake?"

"My elemental affinity is lightning," Kakashi said simply. Shikaku motioned toward the blonde.

"Mine is wind. And, umm, I have yin-yang release," Naruto said in a quiet voice.

Shikaku's eyes nearly popped right out of his head. "Okay," he said, calming himself. "Pretty unusual. The only other people with wind affinities in the village are Minato - Namikaze-san, and Danzo-sama."

"Please don't tell Danzo-sama I have a wind affinity. Or about any of the rest, sir," Naruto said then looked down, her cheeks flushing red. Kami-sama... Shikamaru's dad looked so much like him since he didn't have those scars on his face, and he was approximately the same age as she'd last seen her friend. Shikaku and Kakashi's silence seemed deafening, so she tried to just listen to the quiet birds around her. "Please." She finally got the nerve to look up and saw that the man had been silently appraising her, but finally nodded his head in what seemed to be an agreement to her request.

Only for now: of that, she was almost certain.

Shikaku cleared his throat. "Lightning affinities aren't quite as rare as wind in the Land of Fire, but they aren't exactly commonly found, either. At all! It's a good thing that Namikaze-san and Hatake-sama will be teaching you when I'm not around - and when they're in the village, naturally." Both of the kids looked happy about that. "You're probably going to get razzed if you tell anyone about all of this; there could be a lot of jealousy among the Genin and even some Chunin." Both kids seemed to understand, but who really knew? They were both damn babies and shouldn't be doing this job at all for years to come! "Along with the two shinobi I mentioned, if you behave yourselves, you'll also be learning from Uzumaki-san and Orochimaru-sama."

Naruto thought she'd pass out: things sounded abso-fucking-lutely fantastic until that snake was mentioned! Oh Sage-sama, please take me back and let me fight that stupid bastard, Sasuke, right now..."

"AND ME!" A howling whirlwind had just appeared, and the three jumped back, just in time for a toad to land. "Jiraiya the Gallant, at your service! I am the great Toad Sage of Mount Myoboku, Lover of Women Worldwide and Sensei of Legends, Author Extraordinaire..."

"Ero... Dad!" was yelled in delight as Shikaku tried not to shriek at nearly being smashed by a giant toad again.

Did she just call her father a pervert? He was certain she did, and she was right, of course. But she's five, Shikaku thought to himself as he groaned at the display Jiraiya was putting on with his little dance. Maybe he'd have to take a more active role in this kid's life than he'd previously thought. MAYBE he'd even have to call in Scary-san to be an influence in the other Uzumaki's life. Kushina would probably like that anyway. Then she'd owe him one.

He shook his head and hid a grin at the way Jiraiya-sama was doting on his daughter in a non-perverted way. "Alright brats: all this talking has worn me out. I'm going home to take a nap. See you tomorrow at around... noon?" Shikaku sunshinned away.