DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

It had been a week since they met their lazy, troublesome sensei.

...A week since Jiraiya had come home and startled her mini-team, and of course, a week since Minato flashed in front of the Academy, grabbed Jiraiya and flashed back later with a thoroughly beaten Super Pervert. It seemed that Naruto's violent tendencies hadn't been inherited from only her mother's side of the family.

Jiraiya wouldn't say why her father had beaten him up, but Naruto had a strong feeling that it had something to do with the bullshit story he'd come up with that said that she was Minato-san's half-sister and that Jiraiya had had an affair or quickie with Minato's mother... whom he didn't know was Minato's mother until well after Naruto was born and had reunited with him.

Honestly, it was embarrassing how many holes the story had in it, but for Naruto that could work.

It must not be working so well for Jiraiya, considering the fresh bruises he kept coming home with, and the fact that he wouldn't talk about it.

Naruto felt terrible about the whole thing, but she also didn't want to be picked apart in a psych ward or by Danzo's morons and risk possibly having Kurama taken away from her. The worst part of it all was that from what he'd told her in her first life, Minato had never known who his parents were, and she was sure he now had many questions. The whole thing had to hurt him, didn't it? She guessed that was why he was continuing to stalk her and hoped she'd live through whatever he decided to do. Hopefully, she hadn't been sibling-ized to another avenger, but with her luck - who knew?

As she painted a fence with Kakashi and her shadow clones, she heard her "brother" stub his toe on something behind the bush he was hiding behind. This is the future greatest shinobi in the Leaf's history?! She wanted to laugh but only sighed and kept up the ruse that she couldn't detect him.

What would she say, though, if he decided to approach her? Her story - and part of it was true - was that her mother died immediately after childbirth, and she ended up with a red-haired caregiver who took off and left her with an old man who also eventually died.

She missed that guy. He had definitely been a really old Uzumaki. The whole thing had been such a mess.

Who would've thought that the Sage of Six Paths would have sent her back as a newborn?

And who would've known that the final battle they had with the Rabbit Bitch, Kaguya, ended up dumping her on the even more ruined ruins of Uzushio? Naru had no idea at the time!

None of it made any goddamn sense! There were so many things that could've gone wrong for the Sage to pull such a stunt: even Kurama admitted that. Her first (horrible) memory in this new life was nursing on that woman. Naruto had backed off and wailed, completely freaking out because of how wrong that was! One, she had memories of being a young adult and had been on her own the vast majority of the life she was unceremoniously chucked out of, and two, she wasn't a lesbian!

God knows that if she was, she would've taken Hinata-hime out on a date right away! That girl was beautiful!

But nooooo, she had to have all those stupid feelings for Shikamaru...

"Naruto-chan, pay attention to what you're doing and don't stare at me like that," Shikaku said as he lounged on the grass in front of their client's home with a reflector that would allow him to tan his face. "It's troublesome and creepy. You too, Naruto's clones."

"Hai," the identical girls chorused.

They weren't bad kids, Shikaku thought. They were eating into his free time and the Hatake brat kept asking for training, and to start earlier each day - which simply wasn't going to happen - but otherwise, they were okay. Plus he got paid for downtime handsomely as a Jonin sensei. Neither of the kids complained about the chores they were doing which was just weird. He certainly remembered complaining alongside his teammates when he was young about D-ranks. His teammates' new chibis complained a lot, so he supposed he'd lucked out with the baby Genin he got.

He leaned back and gave the two shinobi who were now standing behind a bush a look that said, "Troublesome: you're caught," but went back to his tanning when they just waved at him. Minato had been snooping around his Genin - yuck: my Genin - for days, but Sakumo was a surprise today. He'd dropped his boy off each day in Training Ground 22, (the one closest to the Nara Forest,) and maybe he wanted to see if his mini-me was behaving himself.

Oh well. Live and learn.

The two Jonin sunshinned away, and his chibis turned to look at each other. "I thought Minato-san would be stealthier," Naru said in a low voice. Kakashi nodded his head before dipping his paintbrush into a paint can, then wiping it off carefully on the can's lip. "This is the first time your dad's been out here, though." Kakashi nodded again and let out a heavy sigh.

"He's probably checking up on me."

The children were silent for a while, but Shikaku could feel their eyes on him and found it annoying. "Maa, probably no such luck that he's approaching us in order to train us properly," Kakashi continued. Shikaku gave the brat the stink eye. When Naruto stuck her tongue out at him, he told them to do five laps around the village. Both brats took off and before long he heard their laughter. It seemed that he'd been scammed.

"So what do you think?" Sakumo asked the younger Jonin as he unrolled a hard candy and popped it into his mouth. The younger Jonin had already refused one.

Minato took in a deep breath and stood up straighter. Looking up into his senpai's almost black eyes, he decided to be honest. "What I wonder is why he didn't tell me," the blonde said in a quiet voice. Minato figured that Sakumo knew what he was talking about, as he knew that Sakumo was one of Jiraiya's best friends. That just made his sensei's indiscretion even more painful. Not the indiscretion about his mother, which was just bizarre and more than a little uncomfortable to talk about. No, what he couldn't understand is why Jiraiya-sensei didn't tell him that he had a sister when he had ample time to do so.

"Hmm. That's the question, isn't it? So! Do you believe him?"

Minato looked up in surprise at his taller senpai again, an incredibly strong shinobi that always told him that they were equals now. It never felt like it. "Why would he lie, though? I mean, it is a little… embarrassing."

"Maa, Jiraya's never been embarrassed about anything like that, so perhaps you should disregard that idea." Sakumo's wolf was nosing him enough to make him give up and offer him a treat, too.

"Well... we do share the same coloring, and she has a lot of Kushina's features. Kushina is the only Uzumaki I've ever known..." Minato didn't finish his sentence.

"I met a few coming and going before the devastation," Sakumo said before leading the teenager somewhere quieter. "They do all have certain features and I'd say that the little girl's at least half Uzumaki."

Minato could tell that Sakumo didn't want to lead him to where his own thoughts had taken him, so he tried to think and keep up. He knew that some called him a genius, but Sakumo was one, too - and he was one with both real-world and combat experience that Minato knew he lacked in comparison.

"Welp, not to worry, I suppose! You're sensei's one of the most loyal shinobi the Leaf's ever known," Sakumo said with a closed-mouth and near closed-eye grin.

"Next to you, sir," Minato replied earnestly.

"Maa, maa! Flattery will get you everywhere, Minato-kun! Gotta run," Sakumo waved behind him as he turned and sunshinned away.

"Hmm. Why would he lie?" Minato asked himself.

Kakashi and Naruto were racing around the village in spurts, spying on the other new Genin teams and trying to force each other to be caught and thus embarrassed. Truthfully, they had no great desire to go back to their assigned task and certainly didn't want to watch their Jonin sensei bask in the sun.

...Although Kakashi doubted that Naruto completely felt that way. He'd seen the way she sometimes eyed their sensei. It was gross, really.

"Hello, you two." Naruto shrieked and Kakashi huffed at seeing his father suddenly standing in their way. "Aren't you two supposed to be running laps?" The two kids tried to run around him in a panic, but he grabbed the backs of both of their shirts. "Maa, maa, I wanted to see if Naruto-chan would invite Jiraiya to come over to the house so we could all have dinner together."

"Ah, Dad," was whined out as Naruto asked, "Really?" excitedly.

Damn. Uzumakis could really eat, couldn't they? He'd have to stop by the butcher's shop again. "Really."

"Okay! If Minato-san hasn't killed him yet, I suppose that will be fine. What time would you like us over?" She ignored the way Kakashi was desperately shaking his head at her from just behind his father. Naruto never turned down free food and she never would! "I can send a toad over and let you know his answer!"

Sakumo continued observing the girl, wondering if she could be hiding anything. She seemed honest and bright as the sun. Seeing her head dip while her formerly happy expression turned to fear, he chastised himself for doing this now. He ruffled her hair with one hand and grabbed Kakashi with the other. She seemed outraged but otherwise back to good spirits.

He'd always been good with kids.

"Maa, you two finish your laps or you'll get nothing but soup tonight." Seeing Kakashi perk up at that, Sakumo sighed. His little boy was so weird, although even Naruto looked deeply interested in soup of all things as well. "Broth. Gruel! Alright, no food for either of you if you don't finish your laps and that fence immediately."

"Sensei's lazy," Naruto said as she tried to straighten the part of her hair again.

"Naruto!" Kakashi scolded, looking uneasy. "You can't just say that!"

"You've said that every night this week, Kashi-kun. Now off you two go," Sakumo said as he pushed them away from him. He turned around and nearly tripped at hearing what Naruto said to his little boy after they took off.

"So, you're dad's really good-looking! What happened to your face, bastard?!"

Next time: The Party Crasher