DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, "Naruto speaking to Kurama in her mindscape," etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

It was infuriating, really.

Kakashi's father had arrived to escort the team back to Konoha, and although Naruto could feel Jiraiya's chakra signature at the capital, he hadn't come to see her - or see her off. Naruto's secret mother, Kushina-sensei, had been in heated, whispered conversations with her Genin sensei, Kakashi's father, while she and Kakashi (Naruto's original Genin sensei) sat in their room, stewing and miserable.

What a clusterfuck.

"Maa, maa," Kakashi began with that infuriating smile of his, "it figures, really. If Konoha has reason to believe that Iwa infiltrated the daimyo's office or guards…" He hummed before continuing. "...if Iwa's anywhere in Hi no Kuni, really, Hokage-sama won't allow fresh Genins to investigate it."

Naruto knew that - but it still sucked that they were being forced to leave. She had been a very fresh Genin when she took or continued her first C-turned-A-rank mission out of the village thanks to her naivety and the NOT-wisdom-filled future-baka in front of her, so him being reasonable right now didn't make her feel much better. "I'm worried about Ami-hime."

Kakashi looked at his teammate thoughtfully. "I never thought you would like or care about her."

"What's that mean?! I'm not an uncaring person! I care!"

Kakashi blew out a loud sigh. "I know! I just mean that you're… rough."

"Rough?" Naruto asked, feeling irritated. Why was Quiet-san opening his masked hole now? The bastard had just hurt her feelings!

"Yeah. …Maa, at least when we get home we can really spar, ne? And work on our kenjutsu?"

"That's true," Naruto agreed, happier to be distracted by that. Her skills still desperately needed sharpening and she STILL had to learn or be able to handle an A-ranked jutsu so that she could bring Tsunade back. Plus, she always liked hitting Kakashi. –In a spar… Bwahaha.

"See? That means you're not normal," Kakashi said happily. He began to panic when he saw Naruto's pretty blue eyes begin to tear up because he'd meant it as a compliment. Most girls were scary, gross, or stupid. Naruto had also touched him enough times to prove that she didn't have cooties, too. –He was beginning to think that cooties weren't real after all. I should've trusted Father. He grinned at Naru when she flipped him off. She was funny like that.

And very crude.

Naruto flopped back down on her futon in the shape of a starfish, sighing dramatically. "I guess you'll be glad to go back to being a boy."

"I've always been a boy, baka."

Kakashi had never felt more embarrassed than when his father saw him all dressed up like a fancy, blue-haired girl. Thank goodness for the elongated obi that covered his masked face; he knew he'd been blushing so hard that he'd almost passed out. The door to their room opened and both kids stood up, waiting for orders.

"Alright you two," Kushina said before grabbing the brats and holding them to her hip on one side and waist on the other as they giggled or struggled against her. They were such kawaii chibis! She really liked being their boss -er, sensei. "We're leaving tonight under the cover of darkness. It will be dangerous but Sakumo-sensei will be with us, alright?"

Naruto rubbed her chin after she was released, looking up at her grinning mother who was continuing to attack Kakashi's hair. "Between you and Sakumo-sensei, that seems like a lot of power just to escort two Genins back to Konoha."

"Well, thank you! Remember, though, you never know what's going to happen, Naru-chan," Kushina chirped with a wink.

"Okay?" Naruto drawled. She put the few remaining items she still had out into a scroll and asked about her adoptive father.

"You can sense that old perv- I mean, that Jiraiya-sama is here, huh?" Kushina asked. "Sorry." She needed to watch what she called the old man when his cute little girl was around.

"Tsk. He's not exactly hiding his chakra is he?"

"So true!"

Ami was NOT pleased to learn that the two girls she'd been hanging around and making a place for at her home were ninjas. One of them being a boy was unforgivable! She couldn't say anything for now but once she was in Konoha? –Forget about it: she was going to make their lives a Living Hell! She tightly grinned up at the "girls'" eldest sister who was now a redhead. "I guess they're not your siblings."

Kushina offered her an apologetic smile. "I've known Kakashi-kun since before he was born so he feels like one. And Naruto-chan is my little cousin."

"I see."

Kushina gave the seething girl her most understanding, considerate expression. "Ami-hime, your father wanted - wants - to protect you…"

"He didn't need to do that. I don't need protection!"

Kushina took a deep breath and tried to decide whether to lay into this little brat or not. Not only had the girl, the Fire Daimyo's daughter, run away on more than one occasion, but she had also been being trained (and definitely been at least manipulated) by an Iwa nin: Sakumo-sensei had confirmed that. Jiraiya might be leading the investigation ANBU was doing in and around the capital or maybe hunting the enemy; she wasn't really sure. Kushina's primary goal was to now get Ami and the kids safely to Konoha.

"You're not happy to be going into the Ninja Academy?"

"I AM," Ami exclaimed. "I just know he won't let me stay there…"

"Ah," Kushina said, understanding that Daimyo-sama could be fickle ("fickle" being a nice word for what he really was.) "You'll have to do your best! Maybe if Daimyo-sama learns what a good kunoichi you end up being, he'll want you to continue by the time you graduate." Yeah, that's not going to happen: it made Kushina feel bad for the almost 10-year-old.

"Maybe."

.

There had been no trouble in getting back to Konoha. Considering how short they were, Naru and Kakashi were pretty fast. Kakashi's dad had insisted that the (complaining) princess ride on his back after she "proved" how fast she was, too. Ami slept most of the way back and Naru wondered how Ami-hime was going to handle the Academy - where she would probably be placed with kids younger than her.

Ami - who wouldn't speak to her or Kakashi now - was going to be staying at the Senju Compound, which meant that she was being watched by Naru's now-teenage mother - and maybe Tsunade. Naruto had freaked out upon seeing the Senju back in Konoha but she sure didn't look happy; neither did a chibi-version of Shizune whom Naru had internally lost her mind over. She was so CUTE! And Tsunade wasn't at the hospital or in uniform. The Slug Sannin looked angry enough that Naruto hid from her, remembering the woman hocking paperweights at her with far too much skill in her last life and boulders at her in this one all too well.

"I guess that's that. Pretty anticlimactic, really," Naruto said softly, looking around the boxed-up contents of the apartment she'd been sharing with Jiraiya. She could still sleep on the couch but Jiraiya had packed things so haphazardly into so many unmarked scrolls and boxes she didn't think it safe to go digging around in them to find dishes and stuff. Fortunately, she had some money, so she decided to go buy a towel or two and a cup and toothbrush. She wondered where Jiraiya was planning to move and hoped that he would take her with him. All her stuff was packed, too. Feeling incredibly lonely again, she locked up the flat and decided to go train.

Gai wasn't at his place and his father was teaching the Academy. Those poor kids: Dai-sensei didn't exactly hold back. She winced, thinking about how Ami-hime, or just "Ami" for now, was going to be getting her ass handed to her. She eventually said "hi" to some of the kids she'd graduated with - although they were hunting Tora…

Why is Tora back here? She was at the Capitol when we left. That seemed odd. How fast is that cat?!

Training Ground 7 was the first one Naru came across that was empty. Making a sea of clones, she set them to work pounding each other, and walked further into the forest so that she could practice her Rasengan. Rubber balls would explode simply by putting a little of her chakra into them which made circulating her chakra inside it even more difficult. That wouldn't stop her, though! One of these days, she was going to grow into her huge reserves and everything would be copacetic, she hoped.

Naruto trained until her hands were raw and all of her clones had popped before bandaging up and taking off to Ichiraku's. She was on her fifth extra-large bowl of ramen when Kakashi walked in, looking for her.

Kakashi climbed up and plopped down on a barstool. "Father said that you are welcome to join us tonight." He wasn't looking at her, so Naruto figured Kakashi had been instructed to go get her but didn't really want her around. It was understandable; sometimes she longed to hang out alone with Jiraiya.

Or with Minato or Kushina. Or even Tsunade –when she didn't look like she wanted to destroy things/people.

"That's okay, Kakashi; thanks for asking, though."

Kakashi wasn't quite sure what to say (his father had insisted that she come over since Naru and "Uncle Jiraiya" - I'm not calling him that - were about to move into a new place before the whole Iwa-thing went down) but his eyes flashed to his teammate's side when she went as stiff as a board. He took a silent but anxious breath when an ANBU he didn't recognize appeared.

"Genin Hatake. Genin Uzumaki. Danzo-sama has summoned you."

Kakashi was wary, based on Naruto's reaction, but got up at once. Naruto said that she needed to pay the stand owner and when the ANBU turned, he saw her make a clone who hid. He couldn't be sure because they followed the ANBU but planned to ask her if she'd somehow turned it into a coin on the floor: she was good at weird stuff like that.

But it also meant that something was wrong.

Naruto linked her pinky with his for just a moment but jumped when some of Kakashi's older fangirls began yelling at her. "Wow," was all she could say. What did these girls even see in him?! They could literally only see his dopey eyes and crazy hair! She prayed her clone - which should hopefully soon make more clones - would hide from them and survive to go get help.

.

Supposedly, Danzo just wanted to know about their mission. Naru wanted to laugh at what a brat Kakashi was being as he refused to give any information up. Although he did remain relatively polite:

- "Maa, wouldn't it be more appropriate to ask Kushina-sensei for mission details, Danzo-sama?"
- "Have you been cleared by Lord Hokage to receive this report? As a shinobi, it is my duty to adhere to the rules."

The last thing he said to the old bastard got her excited, though. "Yeah! Um, Danzo-sama," Naruto began reluctantly, tasting the honorific on her tongue and wanting to vomit it out. "We should probably put this in a written report if it is allowed. Like, I haven't had to do a report that was on either a lengthy or an out-of-village mission before so we probably need our sensei for…"

"That is enough," Danzo all but exploded. "I have asked a simple question…"

"Ah, but there are no simple answers," Naruto tried to smile sagely while waving her index finger. Danzo seemed more prone to outbursts than the silent, scheming snake he'd been in her time.

"ENOUGH! You two will explain what happened at the Capital and tell me where the princess is!" Danzo momentarily faltered at the Killing Intent Jiraiya's daughter sent at him: incredibly sharp and direct. The Hatake boy has barely noticed, meaning that he's used to it OR that Uzumaki-chan's using KI that effectively. Then his office door was opened - and he found himself in front of the White Fang.

Danzo was disappointed: apparently that KI came from the Hatake in the hallway instead of from the girl.

It had, in fact, come from Naruto.

Sakumo tucked his hands into his pockets and leaned against the wall. "Sorry to enter unannounced, Danzo-sama! I was waiting for my son to return with his teammate and learned that you summoned them. Is there something that I can do for you?"

"He wanted to know about Ami-hime," Naruto said gleefully, freaking out about how cool Kakashi's dad seemed. WAIT: he was only acting all laid-back and stuff just like Kakashi-sensei always used to! How did that make any sense? How could Hatake Sakumo be so cool when his son is/was just so not?!

Weeeeeee-ell… In fairness, maybe Naruto had thought that Kakashi-sensei was pretty cool a few times but then there was the rest of his sarcastic, lazy, porn-addicted, cheapskate personality that she had to, unfortunately, deal with.

"Maa, maa," Kakashi said as he pushed his hands into his pockets, too. "Danzo-sama also had a lot of questions about our mission." He pulled one hand out of his pants pockets again and waved it descriptively as he continued. "I explained that as a shinobi it's my duty to ensure that information doesn't get into the wrong hands." He glanced at his father and saw approval and then - weirdly - saw Naruto's eyes shining, all starry-like. Thank goodness I have a mask on.

Kakashi realized that he was blushing again. He frowned at his teammate. "Stop looking at me, Idiot."

"Jerk," Naru exclaimed reflexively in a whispered pout. –And just when I thought he'd caught a little of his father's cool.

Sakumo walked the kids back to his place and once inside, praised them for sending him information through a clone, scolded them for not going straight to him or the Hokage (or raising a stink in the middle of the street,) and pseudo-warned them about Danzo and also about staying alert while in the village. He let the kids play with Kakashi's puppies and answered a barrage of questions that Naruto-chan had about them.

He also made a clone to go see the Hokage.

At the end of the night, he gave Naruto a set of pajamas that were now too small for Kakashi which she squealed over, loving that they had little dogs on them. Hiding something or not, she was a sweet kid, Sakumo thought. He had to pick each of them up and put them in bed when they fell asleep with the puppies. In the morning, he swore out loud when he saw that Naruto was gone and had left him a note.

Thanks for letting me stay, Sakumo-sensei!

"Dammit, Naru-chan, you were supposed to stay where I could keep my eye on you!" Especially after what happened last night! He didn't trust Danzo; Jiraiya had told him of his suspicions of the man and Sakumo would have to admit that he was afraid his friend was right.

He summoned his ninken partners and made a clone to watch over his sleeping son along with half the pack, and left with the rest.

One half-hour before Sakumo found the note -

Naruto gasped when she saw Jiraiya's stuff sitting out on the street! She already knew that he wasn't there so what happened?! She ran to the superintendent's apartment (he and Jiraiya, she thought, were friends) and urgently knocked on his door.

Kei looked out his window and winced before opening up the door to speak with Jiraiya's kid. I still can't believe JIRAIYA had a kid! Actually, what I REALLY can't believe is that he's being responsible with the cute little girl! Jiraiya got around a lot, after all, although Kei gave the Super Pervert props for looking after his kid. Usually? "Ohayo, kiddo!"

"Um," Naruto began, looking back and forth between all the stuff that had been locked out of her flat and the man she thought was a civilian. "Ohayo, Kei-san? Ano, why is Er- Tou-san's stuff outside?"

Kei stuck his finger well into his ear and scratched it soundly. "Got orders that another shinobi's movin' in your old flat today at noon. Where is Jiraiya?"

Naruto wasn't sure what to do. "He's on a mission." She felt dumb continuing to look back and forth from the super to Jiraiya's stuff so she made a few clones to guard everything.

"Well, I'm sure the movers will be here soon!"

Naru doubted that, although it was possible, she guessed. "If I knew where he was moving, I could move things myself." Kei let out a full-throated laugh at that but Naruto was completely serious. "Do you know where he was planning to go?" she asked weakly.

"You don't know, Naru-chan?" Naruto shook her head, surprising Kei. Maybe Jiraiya wanted to make their move a surprise before he was called away. "I… think I've got a forwarding address around. Hang on a sec." He went back inside his flat to find the Toad Sage's paperwork, leaving little Naruto and her clones standing on the curb and in the street.

"Man, this sucks." She jumped when a group of armored goons jumped down from the roofs they'd been hopping over and grabbed her. "Shit! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FRO—" She was quickly gagged and lamented that the bastards had taken out her clones.

Was she seriously going to have to resort to using Kurama's powers on these idiots? She SO needed to get stronger. Off she was carried - like a sack of damn rice - glad that she was at least conscious.

Maybe I should take down as much of ROOT as I can while they've got me? She felt a pain in the back of her head and everything went dark.

Sakumo, his ninken, and an aggravated Tsunade arrived to find boxes outside of Jiraiya's building. "What in Kami's name is all this?" Sakumo's partners were already sniffing for the little girl's scent.

"Naru-chan?" the building supervisor asked when he came back outside of his apartment with the Toad Sage's new address to instead find two of the village's most respected Jonins. He'd thought Jiraiya said that his old teammate, Tsunade-hime, had taken off. "Where'd the little one go?"

After poking through a box, Tsunade pulled her hand out of it, sneering, and knowing that these things belonged to her pervert-teammate. "Why is The Pervert's stuff out here?"

"I got orders that someone will be takin' his flat early this afternoon. They were a surprise, really." Kei backed up when Tsunade began all but screaming at him about how dangerous it was to touch any of Jiraiya's possessions - even his boxes. He hadn't really thought about him being a seal master and having incredibly dangerous things outside of weapons up there. Now he was a little happier to soon live further away from the toad lover.

"Give Tsunade the new lease and orders, Kei," Sakumo said sternly, leaving no room for argument. He and Tsunade kept what they were each doing there short: Tsunade had agreed to supervise Jiraiya's move while he was out and Sakumo was tracking Naruto whom he was afraid had gone missing. Both Jonins made clones to investigate further.

.

It wasn't until she was nearly past the Valley of the End that Naruto finally woke up and realized that these guys weren't ROOT.

"Dumbass! They've been too emotional to be those drones!"

"Oh, sure! Now you remind me of that," Naru pouted furiously at the fox as she began to plot more seriously against the big guy carrying her. "You only open your furry snout now?! I thought maybe I could get inside ROOT." Naruto wouldn't admit it but feared that Jiraiya had been planning to leave her, whether for his job or just because he couldn't handle being a fake father. "...Plus Danzo: the monster that he is, was more emotional than I remember him being, so… you know. Them being less-ROOT-like would make sense." Yes, she knew it was a weak-ass excuse. Those kidnapping her had been hotly arguing both before and after she came to; she should've realized they probably weren't ROOT drones.

Naruto put her hands on her hips in her mindscape. "You ready to stretch our legs, big guy?" She was still pretending to be unconscious.

"Let's see what you've got, chibi-chan." Kurana received a nod and a malicious grin from the blonde current runt.

Just as Naru was about to pull on Kurama's destructive chakra (for the first time in this new life: yay!) her traveling "companions" came to a halt.

"You sure this brat's one? She doesn't look it!"

"That's what the intel said."

Uh-oh, Naru thought as she pretended to drowsily look up at the kunoichi of the group. "Where are you... guys from?" None of them were wearing headbands. Smart, really.

"Shut up," the woman muttered as she sliced her palm open.

Naruto brought her own bound hands up to her mouth, biting her thumb, and prepared to summon herself the hell out of there if things got iffy. Especially if this kunoichi is summoning something… Her hands were jerked down and away as the bitch bit her! Hard!

"OWWWWWWWWWWW!"