I had that feeling again. I can't get out! I heard carnival music this time, the sound distant and muffled. The darkness was eating me. I kicked the warm jelly away, desperate to breathe and see. I managed to roll to my side and open a pocket of air. Gasping, I finally got out with a hard kick. I saw the grey walls of my bedroom. I stuck my arm out, sighing in relief when the popcorn ceiling wasn't right against my fingers. I let my hand fall back onto the blanket and stared at the ceiling in a daze before sitting up. I scratched my scalp as my eyes caught the time on the alarm clock.

10:05? I never wake up this early.

I glanced down and did a double-take. My blanket had been tightly wrapped around my midsection. I pulled it away. Dark red stains caked both the blanket and my shirt.

"The hell is this?" I whispered through my hand. I dared to poke the blood spot on my stomach only to feel nothing. Strange. Is this some twisted prank? I lifted up my shirt, having to give it a little tug to unstick it from my skin.

Where did this come from?

My stomach was bloated and a sickly reddish-purple hue, the colour more prominent around a poorly-done line of stitching. The longer I squinted at it, the more static covered my vision.

"What is this?" I said my thoughts aloud while blinking away the static.

"We tried our best at patching you up," a female voice came from nowhere, startling me. I glanced around to find nobody in the room with me. "Where are you?" I felt a twinge of stupid for talking to the wall. The voice laughed with a soft yet taunting sound.

"You don't remember what happened last night, do you?"

My brow furrowed as I tried to remember anything about last night. It was as if last night never happened. Where was I? Was I here?

"Who are you?" I decided to ask after swallowing a rising mix of fear and confusion.

Is there a ghost?

"It's not like you'd remember me." I swung my legs over the side of the bed and let my feet hit the floor. What can I remember?

"My name- Michael Afton. Knew that. I'm almost 20," I stated everything I knew about myself as if introducing myself to a blind date. "I hate birthday parties, pickles, and bears. I don't have a job curren- no, I did have a job. But what was it?" I tapped my lip, trying to recall.

This is like that movie where the guy wakes up with no memory after someone took his organs, my brain commented. I felt my cheeks blanch. Did I lose my organs?

"You still have your organs," the voice replied in a monotone, then added, "I think."

"You can hear my thoughts?" I said moreso as a statement than a question. But that means...

"You're in my head?" The disembodied voice paused. "You could say that." Sinking back into my pillow, I scowled.

Something happened to me last night and I can't remember it and now there's a voice in my head?

I didn't know what to think, really. Does stuff like this happen to normal people? I sat back up with a new thought that made me grimace. Do I have a parasite? Shuddering, I pushed the thought away before I could have the chance to throw up.

"I need to shower," I told myself. I got out of bed and threw off my soiled clothes. Shit, I thought, realising there could be someone else in the house. I wrapped myself in a towel and scanned the hallways before racing down them. I closed the bathroom door harder than I intended.

Nobody's here, my mind noted. Dumbass.

On my way to the shower, I stopped to stare at myself in the mirror. At least I'm still hot. Right? For just a second, I felt normal and confident as I struck a forced smile. Yeah. But my eyes kept going back to the ugly stitches on my belly. Yuck. Whoever did it did a terrible job. I redirected my attention to showering. I took my time to clean the dried blood off my skin and try to rationalise my situation.

I must have been somewhere I shouldn't have been last night and got drugged and cut open. Yeah, that's it. I can't do anything about that, can I? But wait, I was always this forgetful. Maybe I can ask someone who knows me where I was last night? Father isn't here, is he? I can ask my friend... Mabel. Oh no, Sasha broke up with me!

The familiar empty hole of loneliness greeted me. I stepped out of the shower and went back to the mirror, sighing. This is too weird. Why does life suck right now?

"Maybe you should just forget about trying to figure it out," the voice returned. I found myself nodding.

"Maybe you're right," I said, swiping my wet hair out of my face. I felt a tiny bit better accepting the weirdness.

Without a warning, the lights shut off. I was just a silhouette.

"The power's out?" I concluded. Something about staring into pitch-black made my body tense up. I'm not afraid of the dark, that's childish! I reached out and flinched when my hand hit the sink basin. Lights, come on, please! I don't know how to turn it back on! My eyes darted about even though the action was pointless.

Two small blue lights flickered into view, shattering the darkness but barely illuminating the bathroom. What's that? I leaned into the mirror, squinting. It took me seconds to realise that the lights were my own eyes.

"I have glowy eyes now?" I said, then frowned at how stupid that sounded. My eyebrows raised when I recalled seeing purple eyes staring at me before. Those weren't mine. Fear thickened in my throat. I pulled up my eyelids. How is this happening? The bathroom light snapped alive with a flicker before I could find out. My eyes were their normal, non-glowing, deep blue.

"I- what just- what-" my mouth spewed my brain's confusion. Throwing my hands in the air, I gave up trying to understand and left the bathroom.

"I'm going outside for some fresh air," I said as if for the voice's approval. She didn't reply. I went back to my room to slide into a purple long-sleeve and jeans.

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The sun cast warm rays down, offsetting the cool breeze- the weather was impeccable. I took a deep breath before strolling down the sidewalk and letting my mind wander.

Should I have called the police? Or a doctor? The thought of sitting in a cold doctor office sent a shiver down my spine. A few people mowing their lawns or sitting on their porches stopped to wave at me but I was too into my thoughts to wave back.

Maybe I should just go about the rest of my life. But what if I am missing organs? Am I going insane?

"You're acting like a dummy," snapped the lady in my head. I kicked a rock and watched it bounce across the street, imagining that the rock was my problems. It's not that easy.

"Then maybe you can help me," I replied, keeping my voice low. "If you aren't just a figment of my imagination, tell me what happened to me. Spill the beans."

"Not yet," she replied. I crossed my arms.

"Fine. Keep your secrets."

Nobody tells me anything.

I halted on my heels so I wouldn't miss Mabel's house. I felt a whim of achievement for actually remembering where she lived. My foot was about to touch the path when I caught the long shadow of Mabel's dad. Whistling, he loomed over a flower bush with a watering can. His bald head shone with the sun's light reflecting it. He's not going to hurt you, my brain reminded but I already felt my pulse quickening. There was just something about super tall people that made me nervous- they're like bears.

"Uh, hello, Mr Sanderson," I said in a shrimpy voice. He watered another plant- some kind of marigold or something. I don't know, I'm not a flower-ologist. I cleared my throat and tried again. He turned, locking his dark eyes onto me.

"Well, hello there, young man." His bright teeth contrasted his dark skin. "How are you this fine morning?"

"Why are you intimidated by this man?" asked the voice. "He seems nice."

"Look at him, he's like, seven feet tall," I whispered, then spat out a reply, "I'm... fine. How are you?" Mr Sanderson peered into my soul, knowing I was lying, before answering.

"I'm fine, too." He went right to the point. "You're not here to see me, are you?" I scratched my arm and shook my head. Mr Sanderson whirled to the open front door, calling for his daughter. Soon after, she came out, wearing her overalls with a strap unbuttoned. The wide smile on her face shrank when she caught my stare. Her dad leaned over to say something in her ear. She tore her eyes away from me.

"Dad," she scolded, "you remember Mike. Graduation? Wet his pants after somebody showed up in a giant tiger costume?" I drew my arms in, recalling that day and feeling my ears heat up. You had to bring that up. I just thought it was a bear...

Mr Sanderson's eyebrows raised and his jaw dropped when he recalled it as well.

"Ah, that boy. I didn't recognise you. You look different. Taller. Thinner. Paler."

I picked at the hem on my shirt. What am I supposed to say, 'thank you'? I gave a nod and endured an awkward silence for ages until the old man finally went back into the house. Mabel approached me, her smile thin and unusual.

"You do look pale," she said. "Are you sick?"

"Well-" I started only for her to continue in a sharp tone, "Is that why you didn't show up at the festival? Or is there a different reason?"

"Festival? What-"

It hit me like a train.

"Aw, no, I forgot about that!" Mabel didn't flinch at my facepalm. Normally, I'd be impressed that she always kept a smile on her face but now I felt uncomfortable.

"It's okay, Mikey," she said, doing a terrible job of hiding the hurt in her voice, "things happen. I... hope you had lots of fun with her."

"I- what?" I swallowed my apology to process her statement. Ohhh. Then I remembered a key part of my personality.

"Mabel, I wasn't with a girl, I was-" I tried to explain but Thursday wasn't in my brain.

"Help me out here," I whispered to the voice within my mind.

"This is your problem, not mine."

I couldn't come up with a lie. I knew I wasn't with a girl or anybody- the idea seemed wrong for once. I was somewhere important.

"I wasn't with anyone," I insisted.

Mabel tapped her foot, unbreaking her stare. "Mmkay, sure. You could have just said something, y'know. I would have understood."

But I wasn't even-

"And why do you care whether or not I was with some girl?" I spoke without thinking. An unreadable expression crossed Mabel's face. She balled her fists. Oh no.

"Because you're always hanging out with some girl!" she shot. "I know you! I watch you bounce from one lover to the next like an unsatisfied vampire! What about me? I've stuck by you for, like, forever, and you STILL PUT ME ON THE BACK BURNER!" She stomped her foot, shaking as tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. My mind blanked. Mabel's crying. And it's my fault? I didn't-

"I-" I couldn't find words to say. I fiddled with my fingers, waiting for anything to come to mind and wincing at the pinch of lonely haunting me. I can't lose my only friend over something I can't even remember right. At that thought, I wanted to cry too but I held myself together in fear of ridicule. Mabel looked up at me, hugging her trembling body. Here it comes. She wiped her tears away, straightened her spine, and then said quietly, "I'm sorry, Mike, I- I shouldn't have said that." I blinked and dropped my hands. Wait, what? I didn't have to say anything?

"I didn't mean to... I- I jumped to conclusions and kinda just burst. The truth is, I don't like seeing you with anybody else because..." She pulled her overall straps, pursing her lips. "Because I like you. A lot." Her eyes gazed into mine with a tiny sparkle as she waited for me to reply. Shock kept me silent.

That explains a lot.

Mabel twirled a strand of hair around her finger. "I mean, I'm happy for you, but- like, I know we're like, best friends and stuff, a-and I didn't always, uh... like you like that... not at first- but I-I just thought that... maybe we could be more than that one day." The thought of Mabel getting lovey-dovey with me seemed weird. What if it didn't work out? I rocked on my heels, now aware of the heat of my breath.

"Uh, Mabel, that's... that's flattering," I finally got something out of my mouth. "But-" She threw her hands up.

"Don't crush my dreams please if you don't want that it's fine!" she jabbered. She didn't lower her arms until I said, "Okay." She let out a long exhale and repeated my 'okay'. The pause that ensued was terribly awkward. Her words kept cycling through my head. Sasha liked me, too-

"You didn't come here to listen to me yell at you," Mabel sighed, her eyes still glued to the ground. I nodded.

"I wanted to talk to you about... something important, actually. That actually happened."

She remained motionless for a second as if her brain was on a loading screen, then stepped away from the front door and gestured for me to enter, mumbling, "Uh, yeah. Of course. Come in." I awkwardly stepped past her.

"Hey, kids! Just pretend I'm not here!" called Mabel's dad from the couch. I shuffled to the kitchen where her father wouldn't see us. Mabel raised an eyebrow, completely confused.

"Uh, hey, what are you-"

"Okay, so," I jumped to the point, "this morning was really weird."

"No kidding," Mabel muttered, then scuffed the floor with her sneaker when she realised she interrupted me. I opened my mouth to continue when I decided, why not just show her? I lifted up my shirt and Mabel looked uncomfortable for a split second before gasping.

"That looks really awful," she said with a hand on her mouth. "You should go get that checked out-"

"No," I answered.

I can't.

Mabel folded her arms, looking offended again. "Why not? You should."

The sudden stinging memories of hospital smells and beeps and chatters were enough to convince me.

"I don't want to."

"Fine," Mabel sighed, "do what you want. But you know I care about you and I really think you should get a professional to look at it. You don't exactly have the healthiest of habits, you kn-"

"Do you know where I was last night?" I changed the subject. Mabel sucked her teeth.

"No... the bar, maybe? Or... didn't you finally get a job? Night shift? You dealt with robots or something. You said it was cool."

Robots...?

I felt like a neanderthal standing there, trying to remember. It was coming to me but faintly; floating near but drifting away when I tried to catch it.

"That's right," I mumbled with a wag of my finger. My brow furrowed.

I'm missing something here. I was missing something then. I was looking for it.

"Do you remember what the name of the place was?" I queried.

"No, you never told me," Mabel replied after a moment of thought. I snapped my fingers, groaning in frustration. I want to forget this but I'm missing too much!

"Would you like for me to... enlighten you?" whispered the voice in my head. Enlighten? I perked up, feeling a spark of hope. Will someone finally give me my information?

"Okay," I mouthed.

But do you really want to know? asked a small part of me but it was too late to change my mind.

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I wasn't at Mabel's anymore.

It was dark, save for an occasional flash of light. I pulled my sleeves down to stop the frigid air from biting at my skin.

"What d-did you d-d-do?" I tried to speak with chattering teeth. I heard many voices speaking at once- an echoing clamour. I focused on what they were saying.

"Results positive." "Race you!" "Did you finish your homework?" "I'm broken." "It's hilarious!" "My beautiful baby boy." "If it weren't for me, you'd be a pile of scrap metal sitting in my factory collecting dust."

These must be snippets of things spoken to me, I concluded. The room flickered back and forth between what looked like a creepy dark factory, my own house, and a bright colourful party room. The chill had left finally, but without it, I had no feeling at all.

"You said you'd enlighten me," I called out to the flashing walls. "I don't understand this." The voice in my head didn't say a word. The random voices around me continued to speak but faster. A giant shadow stepped out from the flashes, somehow separate from it. I choked on my breath as I locked eyes with a purple bear.

"You can't hurt me," I said, swallowing my pulse. "This is just a-a weird dream." I lifted my hands up only to see how tiny and fat they were. "What the hell?" I was just a little kid. The bear burst into deep laughter and advanced toward me. I had no choice but to back against the wall, which had decided to stick with the party room.

It's not real, I reminded myself. I felt grips of hands squeezing my little arms and legs and hoisting me up to meet the bear face-to-face.

"No!" my mouth screamed, the word squeaky and high-pitched. My brain went crazy- it's going to eat me! It's going to eat me! The bear snapped forward with an open mouth, enclosing its teeth around me. I heard myself belt out a shrill scream.

The darkness returned. My thoughts were scrambling all over my head. What just happened? Am I dead? A bright ball of light like the sun grew before my vision. I reached out to maybe touch it, only to feel metal pierce my forearm. My arms had been restrained. I blinked back tears, feeling trapped once again.

Okay, I reassured myself. Try to make sense of it.

The light continued to grow, revealing a dim warehouse. I could barely see it with all the static covering my vision. Unlike the last, this room was uncomfortably hot. I caught movement right of me and yanked my head in that direction; bit my lip as another metal restraint cut me. Ouch. A purple blur in the shape of a man approached me, holding a tool that reminded me of the dentist. I'm not here to get my teeth cleaned.

"Who are you?" I tried to ask but instead, a low mechanical screech came out- like a broken car engine or a skipping record. What is this?! I tried again and managed to croak an "Oo ah you". It randomly occurred to me that I couldn't feel my heartbeat. I swallowed then gagged at the action- it felt too strange. Out of my mouth came a robotic whimper.

"Shh," soothed the purple guy, holding a finger to my lips. "Be still." That didn't sound in any way reassuring but I stopped struggling anyway. I focused on his face. Part of the static cleared for a moment, allowing me to notice his dull grey eyes. I know those eyes. A distant sting in my chest distracted me. Purple and red fingers held in front of my face a chunk of tangled wires. I screamed.

I actually screamed with my own almost-adult voice. I wasn't stuck to a table anymore but standing upright in another dark room with my almost-adult body. I shivered for the cold and feeling had returned.

"Th-that's enough 'enlightening' for me," I declared to the blackness. She replied much to my surprise and I jumped.

"Are you sure? We haven't even gotten to the best part."

A red light flashed. A wave of fear struck me and I had no idea why. I don't want to know anymore!

"I w-want out!" I shouted, my voice a whimper. "Please!" The darkness cleared and revealed what looked like a giant ice cream... scooper. I took a step back, my spine hitting a cold wall. There's no escape. A small part of me already knew what this machine could do to a fragile being like me.

"Stop th-this!" I cried out. In the window across from me stood a purple tangle of wires forming a person. Blood pooled on the floor. I could hear my heartbeat now, thumping loudly in my ears. A tall and bulky girl appeared next to the Scooper, her metal skin and pigtails shining in the dim light. She spoke with the same voice as the one that was inside my head.

"Say my name."

"I don't kn-know your n-name," I replied hoarsely. Would knowing save me? The clown girl fizzed in and out of view. Within the flickers I noticed a tiny girl with long red hair and chubby cheeks standing in her place- she looked just as scared as I was. Is she real and trapped here, too? She mouthed something to me. I squinted, trying to make out the word. I got it.

"Elizabeth."

The clown robot scowled. "Wrong." She slapped the machine she leaned against.

"NO!" I screamed but it was too late. The Scooper struck me with a flash of red and black and I crumpled to the floor. The darkness came back again.

I felt cold tiles underneath me. Please tell me this is the real world... I opened my eyes, somewhat hesitant. Mabel's kitchen! I'm back! I felt a smile stretch across my face as I sat up and saw her sitting on top of the counter with a pale expression. She slid off upon seeing me, her eyes wide.

"Mike, what the fudge happened you can't just do that?!" she cried. I lifted myself off the ground then felt a sharp pain in my head and failed. Mabel saw my struggle and helped me to my feet.

"Now," she said in a scolding tone, her hands on her hips, "tell me what's-" I couldn't stop my arms from wrapping around her. It felt good to finally see a real person. Mabel flinched but didn't move away from my embrace. I could feel her heart pounding. She's really worried about me. I forced myself to break away from the hug.

"What happened?" we said in unison.

"You first," Mabel pointed with a squint.

"I-" I didn't want to tell her about the voices or the visions. I'd sound crazy. Even though I trusted her with my soul, I didn't want to sound weird while we were on rocky ground. I rubbed the back of my head. "I guess I just... passed out or something." Mabel didn't seem convinced.

"You randomly fell and started shaking and crying and shouting random things," she said, waving her hands and frowning. "You scared me."

"I'm fine, Mabel," I lied and she knew it. But she didn't call me out, just looked at me with a concerned glare.

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Mabel left with me, insisting that she accompany me for the rest of the day to make sure I was fine. At least I don't have to do laundry alone, I thought. I picked up my dirty clothes from the house before Mabel drove me to the laundromat. She'd offered to wash my clothes for me but I didn't want her father to see the blood. How would he react? If I accepted her offer I wouldn't have had to use all my money for some quarters.

"Mabel, I got this," I repeated after she tried to help me unload my stuff. It was just one hamper. She followed me inside. I dumped my clothes into the washer and turned to find Mabel walking back from the office with a handful of quarters.

"You didn't have to do that," I said, though I hid my delight by looking away. I didn't have to embarrass myself today!

Yes, I did," she replied firmly, then admitted with a little shame quieting her voice, "I owe you that for yelling at you." She forced the coins into my palm. I stared down at them, feeling odd. She doesn't owe me anything. It's my fault, anyway. I should have said something.

"Uh, thanks. How did you get past the language barrier?"

Mabel smirked. "Spanish class was my jam, man."

"Right," I laughed in response. It certainly wasn't mine. I started up the washer and sat down in the provided chairs with a sigh. At least this is normal- me doing laundry. But this time the clothes are bloody, Mabel's here with me, and-

"And we're here, too," interjected the clown girl's voice.

"You," I hissed. How could I forget her, attacking me with that shovel thing? "Why did you make me see all that?"

"You wanted to understand. So I gave you what you wanted. I opened up some memories," she replied.

"I didn't want to feel pain!"

"Relax, Michael, I didn't even show you everything."

"Everything? What the hell is-"

"Who are you talking to?" Mabel asked, staring right at me.

Shit. Forgot about reality.

"Myself, I guess," I decided to half-lie, which got me a weirder look from Mabel. I drifted back into my thoughts.

What I saw... was all of it real? It seemed like real memories, only twisted into nightmares and illusions. Am I real?

"Miiiike?" I finally heard Mabel calling me.

"Hmm?"

"The clothes are done." I mumbled an 'okay' and stood up to get them.

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"I really don't think you're okay."

Mabel eyed me in the rearview mirror. I had sprawled across the backseat, feeling tired but refusing to go to sleep in fear of drifting back into the nightmare world.

"Can I at least get you some aspirin?"

I rubbed my aching head. I guess I could...

"It wouldn't work," I heard the clown lady mumble.

"No, but thank you."

She could only stare for a few more seconds before redirecting her attention to the road. While she drove, I was trying to put the pieces together.

I got attacked by a bear. It wasn't a real bear, though. Then somebody… did something to me. I knew that girl- I was looking for her. Then the shovel-thing attacked me. Then I woke up not remembering any of this?

"I don't believe it," I muttered out loud. Mabel looked up and asked, "What's that?"

If I don't figure this out, it's going to bite me later.

"I wouldn't worry about it-" started the voice but I snapped, "Shut the hell your mouth." Don't talk to me like that after what you did. I sat up and let my head stop spinning before talking.

"I need to go to the library," I said to Mabel. She glanced at the gas gauge.

"Okay, whyyy?"

"Research."