In the passenger seat of Mabel's Dad's car, I watched the scenery speed by in a wispy blur of blues and reds. Mabel stayed quiet as she drove. The radio played some screamo-pop song that thankfully she kept on a low volume. I never did understand the appeal but never judged her for liking that kind of music. At least we could agree on some bouncy pop songs from time to time.
You could have made us crash, I aimed the thought at Baby, Ballora, Funtime Freddy, and Funtime Foxy.
"Please," Funtime Foxy scoffed. "Like you weren't yelling as well. We are not stuck, for your information, but you are- with us!"
We're not going back to that! Just be quiet.
"YOU CAN'T TELL US WHAT TO DO!" Funtime Freddy blurted with a childish whine.
It's my body! Yes, I can! You want to do stuff yourself, get out of it-
Baby buts in. "You know exactly why we can't d-" Chelsea grabbed the back of my seat.
"What is a 'ER'?" she asked in my ear. In my head, Funtime Freddy chuckled.
"TELL HER IT STANDS FOR EROTIC RANCH! HAHAH-"
A cringe warped my face.
"Emergency Room," I sighed heavily, "for when people have emergencies."
"But Michael, how are they going to check if you have an emergency if you are not-"
I shot my fingers across my lips. Don't. Chelsea understood from my sharp expression.
The car rolled into a parking spot with a purr. Reflective shapes staring in the dark window reminded me of eyes. I glanced down at my shirt, where a red-edged rip exposed my chest. The laceration left a nagging itch. I zipped my jacket up to my neck.
Mabel can't know about any of this. She'll freak out and leave me. I'll be alone. I won't have any friends. Nobody will love me ever again-
"Quit the theatrics, Michael Afton," Funtime Foxy quipped. "Of course nobody will love you! NOBODY LOVES YOU ANYWAY!"
"Thanks," I croaked under my breath, pulling my arms together. How sweet of you. His words left a small spear through my gut; my sarcasm left a bitter taste in my mouth.
"You're welcome! Just trying to be supportive!" the fox in my body replied in a sing-song tone.
I felt Mabel's gaze burn my face. My pulse increased sharply. Before she had a chance to utter a single word to me, I got out of the car. I left the ugly clown mask in the seat. My head smacked the top edge of the car in my haste to stand. Ouch! Chelsea watched me from the window with her forehead on the glass. I caught the corners of her mouth twitch; the Bidybab tried not to laugh at me.
Mabel met me on this side of the car with a blank expression and her hands in her pockets. The chilly night breeze tossed her hair around her face. It took her years to speak.
"I knew I shouldn't have let you drive."
"I was trying to help you," my lips hardly parted as I replied.
"I know that," Mabel said. "You tried and you almost crashed my dad's car into a tree. So, you can see how I'm regretting my decision, yeah?" Locking eyes with me, she enunciated her words carefully. "But it's okay. You're not well and we're gonna get you help." I bit my cheek and said nothing in response.
When we entered, the thick chatter and clamour of the inside of the Emergency room bashed against my ears. The smell crawled into my nose and blurred my eyes. Some people rushed about the place, while others sat in silence. I hated every scattered noise, scent, and sight. I stuck my hands in my pockets and hunched my shoulders to my ears.
Stop being such a baby, I told myself before painful flashes of memory scattered in my head.
He's losing blood- he's dying- dying- not breathing- I'm sorry- help me! Help me! My son is dying!
"Mmph…"
The playback left a swirling, flaring pain in my skull; it got worse by the second. I would have drifted off into the recesses of my own brain if it weren't for Mabel's arm wrapping around mine. Warm. I looked down at her, distracted. She just wants me to be okay.
"It's cute," Circus Baby commented. "She has no idea you're not really-"
"Stop," I grumbled, lowering my eyebrows in an attempt to control my emotions.
"Stop what?" she continued regardless. "Speaking the truth that you can't seem to accept?" I balled my fists.
"Please, just stop."
"You said please."
"Shut up."
Mabel's eyes darted up as she heard me mumble. Fear swam in her concerning gaze. She accompanied me up to the front desk and watched me give my information as if she waited to correct me. I gripped the cold edge of the desk. What day- what day in November is my birthday on again?
"You think I can help with that?" Baby grumbled.
Don't you, like, see my memories or something?
"Your memory is difficult to access, not to mention it's rubbish-"
The man at the desk raised an eyebrow at my faltering stance. I answered his questions quickly, swallowing the feeling that I said something wrong.
"The, uh, the sixth. 177- wait, no, 1976. No. Yes. No, I don't have insurance-"
My gut spasmed, cutting my speech short. Stop doing that!
"NOT UNTIL YOU LEAVE!" Funtime Freddy declared. The desk man jerked up at my twisted expression. He gathered his papers, more concerned with the possibility of me throwing up than my wellbeing.
"We'll get him looked at soon, okay?" he rushed through his words with a nod to Mabel. She returned the gesture, then guided me away from the desk. I retched.
"Sorry," I said after Mabel and a few bystanders winced.
You apologise way too much, Sasha's words popped into my faint head. I slapped my stomach robots, scowling. This is your fault! My ears reddened slightly as I felt more bad attention cling to me like hot dryer lint.
"HAHA! NOW YOU LOOK CRAZY!" cackled Funtime Freddy. "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR TRYING TO HIT ME!"
"Okay, that's enough, Freddy," Circus Baby scolded him.
"Yes, Freddy, we don't need THAT kind of attention on ourselves!" Funtime Foxy joined in. Funtime Freddy whined in response. I rubbed my forehead and sighed at its incessant pounding.
"Mike, you're getting worse," Mabel pointed out with a whimper. "Maybe sit down?" She watched me lower myself into a chair with an unbreaking stare. I gripped the armrest, keeping my head down to minimize gnawing pain. My memories resurfaced since the area went quiet.
Tubes going down my nose and throat- why can't I see anything?! I'm sorry- I'm sorry- can you hear me? He squeezed my hand. The distant grey eyes tore me apart limb from limb, my blood streaked across his drooping face, and replaced every bone and muscle and nerve under my skin.
I glanced up from the hazy white and grey tiles. The exit door across the room gleamed in pleasant freedom. Will it stop? If I leave?
"Let's go," Baby urged me on. "We shouldn't be here, anyway. They could discover us and then something bad might happen."
Bad? I repeated in my daze.
"Yes," she groaned.
But Mabel… I pushed a thought through my cycling brain.
"I wish Bon-Bon was here," I heard Funtime Freddy lament behind my thoughts. My eyes drifted to my right. Mabel chewed her fingernails down until the surrounding skin darkened. She put her hand on my thigh. The contact spread a warm feeling through me as my focus shifted. My throbbing skull hurt a little less. But my heart twinged at the painful reminder that everyone I've ever cared about either dies or leaves.
"I know you hate being here," Mabel started softly. "I'm sorry. But it's time you got medically checked out, Mike. You know that we are bestest friends and I, like, really care about you, and I hate seeing you this screwed up. You're always hiding stuff and pretending to be fine; acting like you're okay all the time when you're really not okay." She stopped to take a breath. "I know you do that because I see it- and because sometimes I do it, too."
I looked up at that. She fakes being happy? Lingering on the notion, I remembered the times she bought me food or we just hung out. She always acted so giddy around me since the 10th grade. This morning, she'd snapped and yelled at me over something she had to have known was out of my control. I'd never thought about what she could've been dealing with before I spoke to her. My leg bounced up and down.
Was she always on the edge and just snapped today? Having bad days, and just wanting to make things better by hanging with me? She always hid things. She always tried so hard to cheer me up-
"We can't keep doing that," she continued. She pointed to herself. "I can't let you- I can't let you do that because I love y- uh, t-to see you happy and well. Be-because that's what friends are supposed to do, right?" She yanked her hand away from my leg, leaving the area cold. Her eyes ceased contact with mine as she rubbed her arms.
"I'm just trying to look out for you. Nobody's ever really done it for me before we met, y'know?" Her voice shuddered with her last word. I looked down at my firm-knotted shoelaces, the weight of guilt crushing my throat- a pain worse than my headache.
"You're right," I sighed. "I- huh?" Someone called my name before I could say more.
"Oh," Mabel mumbled, then patted my arm. "You gotta go." I stood up and glimpsed over my shoulder. Our meaningful conversation had faded into an uncomfortable aura. Mabel gave me a little wave and a worried smile. I copied the motion.
I want her to go with me. I shoved the clingy thought away with a frown. My hands tightened into fists. Under my breath, I told myself, "I'm a grown man." I scowled at a very sarcastic reply from Circus Baby- one that, deep down, I felt that I deserved. I'm such a baby.
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"Your blood pressure is pretty low."
I swallowed against a dry throat. He knows. Something is so wrong with me and he knows it. My eyes, my blood pressure, my pulse- it's all wrong!
"Which is why we should have left," Baby replied to my worried thoughts. "Everything is going to be wrong. He is not going to overlook that."
"I'd like to see this, uh, work accident, now," the nurse monotoned with a wrinkled brow. He stared with dusky eyes and a thin-lipped half-smile. I envied his dark sideburns, I'll admit. My heart folded around my ribcage at his words.
"Oh… uhh…" I hesitantly reached for my jacket zipper.
"NOOO!" exclaimed Funtime Freddy and Funtime Foxy, which prompted me to slam my hands over my ears. The nurse's face contorted in surprise. I dropped my hands after seeing his expression.
"Sorry," I said. "Nervous habit. Of course. That's why I'm here, after all." I swallowed a lump in my throat and lifted my arms- or tried to, anyway.
"C'mon," I mouthed to the robots paralyzing my limbs. They yelled in response.
"ABSOLUTELY NOT! HE DIDN'T EVEN WASH HIS HANDS FIRST!"
"HE'S GOING TO DISCOVER US! I'LL NEVER SEE BON-BON EVER AGAINNN!"
We have to! Nothing else we can do. Hopefully, he doesn't see anything too wrong and will just give me some pain meds?
The nurse stared at my struggle, a slight worry painted on his otherwise still face. "Are you having difficulty moving-"
"Oh, no," I lied. "I'm just- I'm totally fine." I slid off the table. My feet hit the floor louder than anticipated. My fingers clasped around the zipper after what seemed like five years. I took off my jacket, then the shirt underneath it. The nurse's eyes darted to the bloodstain. They widened when he caught a look of the ugly, still-kinda-swollen stitches on my lower stomach. The robots underneath wriggled. My gag response shuddered my chest and frightened the nurse.
"Please warn me if you're going to throw up!"
His hands snapped into proximity of the cabinet, presumably to get a barf bag. I shook my head and blinked a few tears out of my eyes.
"I'm not, I'm not."
I was really telling myself and my body's inhabitants that. The nurse released a breath.
"Alright."
He brushed nonexistent dust off his white coat, then leaned in to examine me.
"You're bleeding," he said about the deep incision in my chest. "Someone did this to you?"
"Uh, sure," I replied. I didn't dare mention that the "someone" was a fox animatronic.
"Ugh!" barked Funtime Foxy. "If I see that damn yar-har-matey fox again, I'M GOING TO BUST HIS FACE IN!" He added happily, "With your fists, Michael Afton."
Aw, why… I groaned in my mind, rubbing my knuckles. Somehow they hadn't visibly bruised from punching animatronics. The nurse grabbed supplies from the shelf to treat my stab wound. He gave a warning about the alcohol before applying it, expecting me to wince. I didn't.
"What's he doing?" Funtime Freddy actually bothered to keep his raspy voice low.
"He's cleaning up the blood," Baby answered him.
"So, is that your girl out there?" the nurse asked me.
"No," I answered with my pulse in my throat. I had almost said otherwise. Out of blatant curiosity, I asked an uncomfortably long amount of seconds later, "Do… we look like a couple?" The nurse set down a red cotton ball.
"I don't know, you two seemed close to be just friends. She was real worried about you. But who am I to judge?"
"Yeah," was all I said. It's always been like that. He changed the subject back to me: "Okay, if you'd just lay down and I'm just gonna put pressure on your stomach- see if I can feel anything weird." I nodded after considering straight-up telling him no. His rough hands prodded along my waistline. He asked a few questions about pain and details while poking the stitches that crossed over my abdominal hair. My belly jerked every time.
"This is awkward," Baby and I shared the same thought.
"No, I wasn't drunk- I can't even get drunk. I just don't really remember all that well what hap-" One of the Funtimes stirred. At the best time. I gritted my teeth, hoping that I was the only one to feel it.
"What the- did you feel that?"
"Uhh, feel what?"
"Oopsie!" Funtime Freddy sang. The nurse stared at me as if he suddenly had x-ray vision.
"You had to have felt that."
I sat up and he took a step back to let me put my legs back on the floor. His sturdy glare insisted that I explain myself. I wrung my hands, at a loss for what to say.
"Tell him that this was a mistake," Baby instructed. "Keep denying his questions. Tell him that it's-"
"Stop talking, I got it," I mouthed, then leaned over to the confused nurse. "Okay, okay, look." Anxiety thickened in my throat when I told this little bit of information. "M-my friend wanted me to come here to make sure I was okay. What happened to me… is kinda weird, so I can't really explain. I know I'm not okay, but trust me, it's something you can't help with."
I ignored his eyebrow lifting in scepticism. "Please, sir, can you just write down that you saw nothing wrong so she c- so I can go home? I'll- I'll pay for whatever fees, but just-" He raised a hand to stop me.
"I- I can't really do that, Michael."
"But-"
"This could be a life-threatening issue you have here. Believe me, I've seen some weird stuff in this kind of work. I'm sure we can help you." He pointed his pen at my torso. "You might have an infection, or perhaps a sort of parasite or tumour, that's affecting your intestinal organs, causing them to be bloated and you to feel sick." Two robots in my body burst into hysterical laughter halfway through his dialogue. I resisted the urge to cover my ears.
Can you please keep it down?!
"I can get the radiologist; we could identify what's bothering you inside with perhaps a CAT scan-" the nurse continued. My face wrinkled in thought. Isn't that, like for cats? Wait, no, we're not at a vet, it's, like-
"You idiot," Baby snapped.
Alright, then what is it, then, since you obviously know?
She shut her disembodied mouth.
"…if you are willing to do that?" My mind blanked trying to recall whatever the freak the nurse guy just said.
"Uh, sure," I answered only to break the awkward silence. What a stupid decision.
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The nurse sent me back to the waiting area after giving me a huge glass of water and this greyish liquid that oozed down my throat like glue paste. It took every muscle fibre to swallow it down. The grey stuff was supposed to help them see inside more clearly and upon hearing this information; the Funtime animatronics decided they did not want the doctors to see anything at all.
"HHAHAHHAHHAHAAHA!" Funtime Freddy couldn't hold back a wheezing guffaw no matter how hard he tried. I glanced down and gasped at an icy trickle dashing down my leg. Of course I chose to wear light blue jeans today.
"Damn you!" my mouth cursed. Blood rushed to my face and ears. "It's not funny!" I slithered out of my jacket, trying not to pay attention to a bystander looking this way. Eyes seemed to surround me when I waddled back to my seat.
Why has this been so embarrassing? Why are they all staring at me? Where's Mabel?
I tied my jacket sleeves around my waist and crossed my legs in the chair. The position wasn't as uncomfortable as the goggled-eyed stares surrounding me. Yet again, I received the most undesirable kind of attention.
"Afton, right?"
"Unfortunately," I deadpanned at the voice. The guy who'd been behind the desk stood before me now, his face stretched into an awkward smile. A toddler-like robot in a pink dress gripped his calf. I folded my hands in my lap carefully.
"Is this… child… yours?" the desk guy asked. "She was looking for you." The "child" flashed a sweet smile at me. I rubbed the back of my neck with a faint smile on my lips, too. Seeing the familiar face was comforting- even if a little bit annoying that it was supposed to stay in the car.
"Yessir," I replied, "she's mine." The man gave a nod and gestured at her. Chelsea joined my side. After the guy walked away, she spoke softly, "I'm sorry that I left the car this time. But last time I stayed in the car, something bad happened to you. So, I'm here to help." I cocked my head at the little robot. I wondered why she wanted to stay with me.
"Because I am here with you," Baby explained. "The Bidybabs are nothing without me." My smile shrinking, I drummed my fingers on the armrest. I knew they were her little show buddies on the stage, so they were loyal to only her- weren't they? A small part of me felt otherwise. The Bidybabs stayed with me before Baby was here.
"Thanks, Chelsea," I told her. "It means a lot." My hands smoothed together. "But I'm not sure anyone can help us now."
I have no idea what happens next.
"We're going to get discovered, that's what!" Funtime Foxy declared. "If you go through with this supposed 'CAT' scan…"
I sat up at sudden interesting thoughts drifting into my head: What if the results show I'm human inside? What if it's all a lie? They just fix me in a snap? I knew it sounded ridiculous but the notions were enticing. What if it's all just a simple little problem? Extract the robots and-
Funtime Foxy chuckled half-heartedly. "That is NOT going to happen."
"Your body would collapse if we left it," Baby added, a twinge of offence in her tone. Funtime Freddy jumped in with a holler, "DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO GET IN HERE?! BABY SHOULD HAVE PICKED ANYTHING OTHER THAN THE SKINNY ROBOT MAN!"
"Freddy-" she began to scold but my thoughts interrupted her.
I don't want to do this just as much as you guys. I just don't know what'll happen- everything's so weird now- it's stressful. You know I'm doing this for Mabel. She's not going to back down until she knows I'm fine.
"But I'm not fine," I sighed aloud, then kept my voice down as I continued, "I'm losing control of my life so quickly. It's only been, like, barely a week. Your voices are so loud and- and- you're controlling my arms and legs like I'm your puppet and it's so damn weird! People notice!" Chelsea squinted for just a second. She figured out who I was talking to.
"You're going to have to get used to us, young Afton! " Funtime Foxy piped up before Baby could speak. "We had to watch you and listen to you talk all day and now, it's OUR time to shine!"
"But it's my body- you have to understand it feels weird! It's wrong! It's- it's so-" My voice raised to my emotions. I took a deep breath. "If you're going to stay in my body for a while, we need to set some rules. If you gotta speak, don't interrupt or talk over me. Please don't yell. It hurts. And- and the moving, too- you gotta warn me first. Okay?"
The robots blurted various phrases of confirmation, three of which sounding reluctant.
"Okay, okay," I repeated to quiet them. Setting some kind of order brought a puff of confidence to my chest. I was actually gaining some control of this.
Soon after, Mabel approached my seat, her fingers tugging her overall straps. Worry crossed her face but she lifted her mouth to give me a hopeful grin.
"Hey, I just went to the bathroom. Somebody was in there, like, butt-naked and covered in blue paint. It was super freaky!"
She paused to chuckle, which I found myself flashing a grin at. "Anyway, you're okay?"
"As okay as I can be right now," I answered honestly. "They're gonna do a CAT scan to see th- if something is wrong on the inside." Mabel's brow crinkled- I'm assuming she imagined an elaborate torture machine like the ones we'd seen in cheap horror/sci-fi flicks. Or perhaps she already knew what a CAT scan was- I never watched the doctor-type shows. She sat down next to me, mumbling, "Alrighty then. I sure hope it goes good." She glanced past me at Chelsea.
"Aw, you just couldn't stay in the car either?" she pointed out with a smirk. Chelsea swung her legs back and forth underneath the chair. Whatever she said in reply I didn't hear because Circus Baby called my name. Something about her tone struck me as eerily human now. It got my attention.
What's up?
"We can't go through with this scan. If they discover us, they will also discover you. If they know that we are… not like them, something bad could really happen. They would not know what to do with us." Her voice carried the hint of a shudder. "I know you hate us, and rightfully so, but if we don't figure out something together, we could all be killed."
I took a moment to process her words. My eyebrows scrunched in doubt, but the way genuine fear laced her every word scared me. In a low sigh, I replied, "I understand."
"So help us get out of this situation," she said. "For all our sakes. I don't have any ideas."
I hummed, thinking in reply to her, It's too late to leave now. We've been pretending this long. We have to continue.
"Just go in there and let them discover us? Funtime Foxy bickered. He didn't fancy that idea.
No, I thought back. But what if- I mean, we- something could happen to the machine. A reaction. I suck at science, but won't different signals or metals or whatever react with the scan?
"Oh yes, I'd love to explode," Funtime Foxy gave me his sarcasm very enthusiastically. But Baby joined in, sounding hopeful, "It could overload and just shut off."
"But it could cause a scene, darlings, and we all know Michael doesn't need any more concerning stares from the audience."
"But it would be VERY FUN!" giggled Funtime Freddy. "As well as grant us freedom from this stupid place!"
My eyes widened with a realization. If the machine is off, they can't look inside. We can bypass this whole situation. I just hope we don't actually expl-
Mabel tapped my arm, crashing my train of thoughts. "You there, buddy?"
I met her wide eyes. "Uh, yeah."
"Okay. I just wanna tell you that if this is absolutely horrible, I'll have to make it up to you. I promise. We can get nachos, or waffles-" she counted on her fingers and waved her hands to gesture- "-or burgers, or whatever. We don't even have to eat, even, if you want. We could go bowling again- I'm sure they forgot about the ol' dent in the floor by now. Or we could see a movie- and-and I won't even care if it's one of those cheesy romancey ones you like-"
We turned to the sound of someone calling my name. Mabel frowned.
"I can't even talk to you all that long."
Huffing, she rose from the seats with me and whisked away her annoyed expression. She fumbled with her fingers. I heard her pause before speaking, "Good luck, stupid."
"Thanks," I replied with a tiny grin. Hesitation hid behind my face. After I turned my back to walk away, I breathed just audible enough for her to hear, "I love you, too." For the first time in three years, Mabel said nothing. I left the pretty girl to stand there in shock, a mass weighing on my throat and the lovely display of a genuine smile across my face.