The sun wasn't up yet, but Holly was about to be. I sat atop the counter, listening to my body tick and my thoughts scramble. My legs swished on occasion. The shiny kitchen surfaces glimmered with the intense reflection of my bright blue irises; on this early morning, they flickered in distress.
What the hell happened last night? I didn't enjoy that. Maybe I did. I didn't want it. I don't want it. What is wrong with me? Now I'm getting upset over a kiss? That could very well be the last physical contact moment I'll ever get! I don't want to be here anymore. But where else am I supposed to go? What else am I supposed to do? I wish Ennard were still here. I'm crazy for thinking that! It all just keeps getting worse!
I scanned the cabinets for a snack to distract me. I scored a half-empty, off-brand pack of birthday cake Oreos. Never really cared much for chocolate stuff- nor was I hungry- but I ate a cookie anyway. Or tried to. My splintered teeth ached with my efforts. The poorly-chewed-up Oreo bits touched the back of my throat for two seconds before I coughed it up in a series of dry-heaving.
Now I can't eat. Of course, I realised, giving a teary-eyed grimace to the soggy cookie chunks- and a leaf- at the bottom of the sink. What's next- my heart stops? I put a hand to my chest just in case; I felt soft pulsing alongside urgent ticking from that chest device.
An abrupt shrill shook me nearly out of my sneakers. I gripped the counter, unable to catch a breath. It wasn't me! Seconds later, a blur of green, pink, and blonde came crashing into the kitchen. I barely dodged Holly's sporadic arm-flailing.
"IT WON'T GET OFF ME!" she screeched, her voice almost incomprehensible. I eased air back into my lungs. I was way more startled than I should have been. Nobody's hurt. The Minireena from earlier was having the time of her life clinging to the straps of Holly's cami top and the squishy crevice that was Holly's chest. The hint of a smile formed on my face.
"DON'T JUST STAND THERE! IT'S YOUR ROBOT!" Holly yelled. I grabbed the Minireena in a swift handful, muttering, "It's not my robot." The little ballerina wriggled in my firm fist; I loosened my grip but didn't let go yet. Holly's mouth flickered like she held back a smile. She dropped her jaw.
"Oh, there might be another one!"
I reached for her again with my free hand. She couldn't contain her smile anymore, and that's when I caught myself. There was that laugh again.
"I thought you said I was the fast one."
My face burning, I plonked the Minireena down onto the counter.
"Holly, I'm done," I rasped angrily. "I don't want to do this with you, okay? Maybe I was-s interested b-before, or thought I was, but n-not- look I'm- I know I'm acting crazy, but I can't- I just-" Sighing, I rubbed my face to cool the heat washing over me. "Things are different than they were before, okay? My body isn't w-working the way it's supposed to be-" Holly shot an awful scowl, taken aback at my sudden outburst.
"Boy, first of all, you wanted this! Second, you told me-"
I grabbed her shoulders to nab her attention. It worked- her brow softened.
"Listen. I was wrong before," I started with a soft yet strained tone. "I was stupid. I kept pushing you away because I d-didn't know what I wanted. I don't know what- I just kept you around as a- as a backup girlfriend or something just in case someone else left me. And- and then I called you for help so I could use you. None of that was okay." I shook my head, unable to look her in the eye. "I'm sorry. But you need to understand that I'm not interested in you anymore. I no longer ha-ave the energy to try and pretend that everything is n-n-normal, and that I actually l-like you like that, because I don't. I don't think I'm capable anymore. And I- I am done playing this game of manipulation."
I dropped my arms. My chest felt a little lighter spilling that apology. Until I was met with Holly's silence.
Please just be okay with this- we'll be happy little friends after this- I hoped desperately- and irrationally. Holly's lip curled over. She jabbed a finger into my chest, startling me with her rapid motion. My hopes shattered.
"Then I'm not going to let you stay here anymore!" she bellowed the exact words I dreaded hearing. "I'll turn you in! I've done nothing but try to help you and your weird issues, and what do I get for it? NOTHING!" My blood boiled, building intense pressure in my head. Is she for real?!
"You really thought that, by helping me, you'd get A FREE TICKET FOR DICK?! I'M A DECAYING ROBOT, HOLLY!" My stomach churned at my words. I tasted hot stomach juices in my clenched throat. Holly's beet-red face told me there was no taking anything back now. I thought about last night and added, "But wait, you're int-to that, aren't you-u?" Holly's face somehow got even redder.
"You've lost your mind!" she spat. I returned her hostile glare.
"You think I don't kn-kn-know that? I've l-lost everything else-"
TAK! TAK! Startled, we both went silent and stared at the door. Holly tried to stamp a finger on my lips but I slapped it away. What the hell is wrong with her? What is wrong with me? The Minireena climbed onto my arm. TAK TAK TAK! More knocking snapped us out of our trance.
"It could be the police," Holly hissed, still frowning. "Hide and stay quiet unless you want me to report you." With a cruel smirk and direct eye contact, she added, "Mikey." I narrowed my eyes, tightening my fists, but stopped myself at the thought of police. Oh no! I'm not going to jail! I can't! They'll kill me! I made a half-assed mad dash for the far side of the couch and ducked. Holly opened the front door.
"Oh hii, Sasha!"
I clamped a hand over my mouth so that only a tiny squeak escaped. My breath got stuck in my lungs. SASHA?!
"What brings you here? I thought you hated me," Holly continued with her cheery, nothing's-wrong-at-all voice.
"And I still do. But that's not why I'm here. Where's Mike?"
Hearing Sasha's voice again sent a mushy feeling of terror/desperation billowing through my body. I hoped that the couch wasn't trembling with me. She's been looking for me! She still cares! Maybe she hasn't seen the news! She still wanted to be friends, right?
"Stellar greeting, Sasha-" Holly said dryly, "jumping right to the point like that. How about a little womanly small talk first?"
"Where is he?" Sasha repeated with more urgency. Her tone of voice sounded wrong somehow, but in the moment, I didn't think about it. I scrunched my body to fit tighter into the shadowy space between the couch and the wall.
"What makes you think he's even here?"
"Abby tells me everything," Sasha replied. "You are garbage at keeping secrets." I heard a frustrated huff from Holly. Regardless, she kept her faux-calm composure.
"Well then, you can tell that ugly bartender that she's built like a radiator-"
"I won't," Sasha butted in, and Holly ignored it, "- and that Mike isn't here. Anyway, what do you want with him?" Sasha paused. Her voice cracked with her next words.
"I just want to talk."
"Sure you do."
The girls paused their tense conversation. Biting my cheek, I wondered if they caught the sound of my heart rattling in my chest. What are they doing?! Every muscle in my body screamed. Then Sasha finally said something, "He's hiding behind the couch, isn't he?"
I resisted the growing urge to either throw up, stand up, or do both simultaneously. She knows! Should I let her find me here? No- no, she can't see me like this. But what if-
"Oh, nooo, he's way smarter than that. He wouldn't hide somewhere that obvious. He's not an idiot."
I cringed. Ouch, Holly.
"Okay," Sasha replied simply, knowing that I was indeed an idiot, then seethed a few seconds later, "I know what you want with him."
"Sure you do-" Holly began but Sasha interrupted her sarcastic quip to snarl, "Slut. I wouldn't give a shit about your lifestyle if it weren't for the fact that you're a grimy manipulator also. I know how you got this house."
"Sasha, honey, enough of this shaming. We are both the same: smart and single women who just want to find Mr Right in a world full of Mr Wrongs."
I heard what I assume was Sasha's boot hitting the door sill.
"Ew. We are not the same. I actually go to church every once in a while."
Holly responded in a sweetly-layered voice, "Oh, is that because you feel guilty about what happened to your family?" Sasha's anger seeped into me. Shaking my head, I pressed closer to the wall. I should intervene. Holly's touched a nerve.
"That's enough," Sasha declared. "Where is Mike?"
"I'm sorry, Sasha. I know you've had it rough since the incident-"
"Stop talking!" Sasha spoke through clenched teeth. The floor creaked- Holly took a step forward. She suddenly dropped her happy tone for a sinister one.
"You can't have that boy. He's gone crazy, I'm afraid. He's sick-"
"You're sick."
Again, Holly ignored Sasha, "-but I'm going to help him. I'm not giving up this opportunity." I shrank further into the corner. Holly switched back to her soft, convincing voice, clapping her hands together. "You know, I can help you, too. I know a somebody who can stop addictions-"
"Shut up," Sasha grumbled. I gripped the couch fabric, wincing. I should probably intervene.
"Sashaaa," Holly dragged out her name like an annoyed sibling. "I care about you." Sasha didn't say a word. Holly continued, albeit slowly, "It's gotta be tough… being a poor Asian girl whose parents hated you so much they left you with your uncle. Show us on the doll where he t-"
"I SAID SHUT THE HELL UP!"
A hearty smack echoed through the house. I winced at the sound of Holly's body crashing into the wall. She deserved that, but still.
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"
"STOP TRYING TO ACT LIKE A THERAPIST AND GO SEE ONE YOURSELF, WHORE-BITCH!"
Another crash shook the entire house. Both girls growled and screamed, scuffling in the doorway. I bit my tongue after hearing a cry of pain from Sasha. I should really intervene now! I scanned the scene over the back of the couch.
The porch light surrounded the girls in an eerie yellow glow. Holly, being the larger woman, kept the tall, slim Sasha halfway pinned under her body. With one hand, she clutched a fistful of dark brown hair, and with the other, she clawed at Sasha's neck.
"This is uncalled for!" Holly kept repeating in hoarse grunts. Sasha thrust her heeled boot directly into Holly's nose. My gut wrenched when I noticed blood splattering. Sasha threw an open-handed smack to Holly's face and received a clock to the chin in return. I couldn't look away- shock froze me into place. Oh my God. They're really trying to kill each other. A little tap on the leg knocked me out of my anxious daze. I looked down, wide-eyed. The Minireena made a gesture that I knew said, intervene, dammit!
The sounds of Sasha huffing and yelling came to a sudden halt. The silence chilled my spine. I darted upright, now fully exposed from my hiding spot. Her face bright red and dripping with sweat, Holly squeezed Sasha's neck with one arm. The latter gasped for breath- swallowed her own snot and tears. None of her frantic slaps or leg swings convinced Holly to stop. Sasha's complexion drained of colour rapidly. In seconds, her limbs fell to her sides and she stopped fighting back.
Why am I still sitting here?!
"ST-STOP! YOU'RE GONNA KILL HER!" I clambered over the couch and finally intervened. Holly's eyes broadened. Immediately, she released her grip on Sasha's neck. Sasha shambled away and clutched her throat. She gagged trying to get her breath back. Holly stood when I approached.
"Apologies," she muttered in a nasal tone. I don't think she meant that. She swept now-frizzy curls out of her face. "She hit me first." Her misshapen, swollen nose looked like a bloated strawberry. I went past her, frowning away the urge to slap her. I outstretched a hand to Sasha. Still a little blue-faced, she looked up at me. A perplexed, faraway look lived in her glossy eyes. It was familiar.
"Ar-re you ok-k-kay?" I forced the question out. A dollop of drool landed on Sasha's shirt. She kept that empty blank stare. My organs shrank when it struck me just where I'd seen that expression. Oh no. No. Not again.
"Sasha," I called, swallowing hard. I lunged to scoop her into my arms, but she blinked and yanked out of my grasp, suddenly back down to Earth. I watched her wobble to her feet. Her bedraggled appearance flooded my chest with an overwhelming sadness. She doesn't look okay at all. I tried to grab her again. She raised her hands.
"Don't… touch me," she mumbled drowsily. I stepped back, remembering that I was terrifying to look at.
"Okay."
Sasha's eyes drifted over my shoulder to glower at Holly. I blocked the former's view with a hand, saying gently, "Hey, n-no more fighting. Please. Y-you said you wanted to talk to me, right?" We met eyes. Sasha bit her lip, tears glistening in her eyelashes and leaving black streaks down her face. She nodded.
She knows what I did, I feared. I expected her to yell when her mouth cracked open, but a pained grimace warped her expression instead. In the corner, Holly folded her arms.
"Well, spill it, Morinaga," she blurted. I whirled to face her, snapping, "Be quiet!" I turned back to Sasha. And she spackled me head-to-toe with a rapid tidal wave of projectile-vomit. What the hell?!
Holly yelped. "Not like that!"
I crinkled my nose at the indistinguishable chunks decorating my jacket, then wrapped my arms around my stomach. Don't throw up, too! I looked back up to notice a keeled-over Sasha slipping out the front door. No!
"Wait! Sasha!" I attempted to follow her. With the sun not quite out yet, I could only see her silhouette. She rushed down the steps and collapsed at the bottom. My throat closed on itself. Get up, Sasha! She did, to my immense relief, and took off. I released my breath. I pivoted back to Holly, only to be met with a closed door. NO! I threw myself at the door. I wasn't ready to be alone yet.
"H-Hollyyy!" I shrieked like a brat, and my voice crackled like radio feedback. "I- I'm sorry! I'll- please, let m-me back-k in! I don't know what- I-" I choked on my breath and let myself crumble to the ground. Holly opened the door just wide enough for her face to glare down at me.
"Look at yourself. You are truly insane."
"I- I-" I dragged my hands down my face, smearing tears and puke. I am truly insane, aren't I? I am truly insane. I caused all of this. "I'm sorry." Holly pulled the door closed, but I stopped it with a hand. "Holly-y, wait. Please, help m-me. You were right, okay? I'm sor-ry. You're my l- my last option-n, Holl-ly. I don't ha-ave anyone else. Pleas-se help me." She tried to crush my fingers with the door. When I showed no visible sign of pain, she scowled in irritation and stormed off to her room. A little while later, she slung a dusty pocketbook at my head.
"There. That's helpful enough. Now get out of here, Afton. Or I will call the police. Don't you contact me again. Like you said, we are done."
The door shut faster than I could blink. Its lock clicked in place.
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I didn't "get out of there"- not for a few hours. I remained curled up at the bottom of the awful staircase, my legs contorted impossibly. My eyes fixated on the rushing leaves on the concrete sidewalk. Only my heart moved now, and it hardly gave more than a few beats per minute. That ticking object in my chest kept going, too. Why?
The sun burned orange through the thick cloudy sky. Someone approached the stairs- a resident of one of these apartments, no doubt. I lifted my head and peered up through crusty, tangled hair. The dim lighting and the static in my eyes made the stranger look like a broken shadow.
"I d-don't know-w what to d-do anymore-ore," I whispered. I'm not sure if that person heard me or not. Either way, they ran.
The Minireena giggled at my feet. I scowled, pressure building in my chest again. My body lacked the energy to boot the robot across the parking lot. I would've done it. I buried my head in my hands instead. Tiny hands wrapped around my shin. I tensed again, but my misplaced aggression soon faded. It didn't do anything wrong. It never did.
I wondered if the Minireena somehow understood my situation. They all helped us at Freddy's. No one told them to do that. We sat for a while- both in silence and myself in thought.
"Hey," I murmured, plucking the tiny robot off my leg to place it on top of my knee, "do you know… do you kn-know where Ennard is? Th-the Funtimes-s? Where they are?" Unable to say anything, the lone Minireena shook her head.