He made his way over to where Lily was sitting on some invisible structure that made it look like she was sitting on a cloud and she gestured to him to sit next to her, he did so uncertainly, he'd never sat on thin air before and it was just a little disconecerting.
"So" he started awkwardly.
"So I'm sure you're wondering what I could tell you that's so important?" he nodded, she sighed "there is something you must know about Harry" she paused appearing to brace herself for what she had to say as he watched her intently "I know you think James is Harry's father, and you probably won't believe me, but the truth is that you're his father" she said watching his face.
He looked at her horrified and backed away slightly shaking his head "impossible he can't be" he couldn't get his head round it, it was totally illogical how could Harry Potter possibly be his son, it was impossible.
"You remember that one night we spent together before you were initiated?"
He looked at her and nodded "but that was years ago, it's impossible he's too young to have been conceived that night"
"Let me explain. You see a few months after that night I wasn't feeling so good, I didn't know what was wrong so I went to the infirmary and Madam Pomfrey examined me and discovered I was pregnant with your child. She called Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore and they agreed that it was too dangerous for me to have the baby at that time. It would have been too suspicious you see, I wasn't seeing anyone else and it would have been to great a stress with school plus if anyone had found out you were the father it could have put all of us in danger. I'm sorry I did not tell you, but he made me promise not to tell you, imagine if Voldemort had known Harry was your child whose mother was muggle-born we would have all been in danger."
She paused and looked at his stunne face "I realize how foolish I had been but I didn't want to lose this last link I had to you. I begged Madam Pomfrey to see if she couldn't delay the pregnancy, she explained that she could freeze the embryo safely for 2 years so I could finish school but then it would need to be reapplied every few months."
"Of course you know Potter still fancied me and was constantly hounding me about going out with him. Well, eventually I gave him a chance after I had his word that he would change and grow up. He wasn't so bad and obnoxious since he'd matured somewhat and stopped hexing you and it was the perfect cover. While it wasn't long before he started asking me to marry him. After much deliberation on my part, I decided to give him a chance after all he did truly love me and I knew he would do anything to protect our baby, I thought at least if we couldn't be together Harry would grow up with a father who loved him, I ended the charm on the foetus after we got married and well you know the rest"
Severus looked stunned by all these revelations, he still couldn't comprehend the fact that he may actually be the boy's father "did Potter know?"
"No, I was sworn to secrecy no one knows except Dumbledore, Pomfrey, McGonagall and now you. I'm not sure how James would have reacted if he'd known but I know he loved Harry as if he was his own son. I cast glamours on Harry to make him look more like James, we thought it would help keep him safe, of course, we didn't realise that he'd be targeted anyway because of this stupid prophecy"
She saw Severus's look of disgust at hearing that his son looked like James "I'm sorry I had to hide his appearance, I thought it for the best so as not to arouse suspicion, I've written down instructions in the journal on how to reverse the process and how to cast different glamours on him to disguise his appearance."
Severus still looked shocked and eventually replied numbly without looking up "why are you telling me all this? Harry's dead, do you mean to torment me with what I could never have?"
"No Severus he's not, Harry's alive!"
"Impossible! I saw it with my own eyes no one survives the killing curse" he said leaping up to face her, still thinking this must all be some elaborate joke.
She put a hand on his shoulder making him sit back down "no" she said smiling sadly and shaking her head "he's alive I can feel it. You know they say old magic is the most powerful kind of magic?" he nodded wondering where she was going with this "well a mother's magic is meant to be one of the oldest and purest forms of magic there is. When I learnt that we may be targeted I started researching every kind of protective charm and spell that I could find. I discovered some really powerful old magic."
"When I realised Voldemort was coming to kill us I started casting the enchantments around Harry to protect him. He offered me the chance to step aside and be spared but I chose to give my life willingly to protect my son. Because I gave my life willingly it strengthened the protection I had given Harry, he was protected by a mother's love one of the strongest and purest forms of raw magic something Voldemort could not possibly understand that is why the curse rebounded and hit him"
He stared at her in disbelief, his jaw slack "impossible" he muttered, "I always knew you excelled at charms but this, it's incredible"
"There is more Severus" his head shot up, "when the curse rebound it split Voldemort's soul. His soul was already fragile from having been split multiple times and the curse was enough to shatter it, all the pieces were destroyed except one which desperately searched out the nearest vessel it could find to cling to"
She paused as she saw the cogs whirring in his head, his eyes widened, a horrified expression on his face "Harry" he whispered and she could see how much the truth hurt him."Yes, I know how hard it must be for you to hear this knowing what he did to you. I'm sorry you had to hear this but Harry needs you, Severus, he needs his father and he needs you to love and protect him and prepare him for when he meets Voldemort" she said sadly feeling for the man she loved so much.
It took a minute for her words to sink in before he responded angrily "don't tell me you believe in this blasted prophecy to hang on a minute. I will not have him grow up like I did trained to kill, manipulated like a pawn or soldier all because of some prophecy"
"No!" she responded angry and defiant before composing herself.
"It is not a matter of choice or what I believe Severus he has been marked by Voldemort as have you, he will return so long as his Horcruxes remain intact and when he does he will seek out Harry because he believes the prophecy. We may not wish for him to fight but he may not have a choice therefore he must be prepared so he can survive, only by working together can you defeat him. The best way to protect him is to raise Harry as if he has always been your own son while you work to destroy Voldemort and convince the world that Harry Potter died this night"
He listened and eventually sighed, nodding reluctantly when she put it that way he could see that she was right "I don't know if I can do this if I can raise him with love and affection. What do I know of family? It is not as though I have had great role models to show me how to love and care for a child, what if I end up like my father?" he said despondently thinking about his mother's neglect, his father's drunken abuse and violence and finally about the sheer evil and manipulation of his birth father.
"Severus, do you remember the times when my parents took you in when my Mum fed you and tended your wounds?" he nodded "the first time you came round for Christmas? What about the year they threw you your first birthday party? Or your first holiday to the beach? What about when they paid for your school supplies without even making a fuss? How about the boy who never stopped loving me even when he knew it was forbidden, who bravely risked his own life to bring information back on Voldemort and his Death Eaters"
"You ask me how do you know you'll be a good father, you say you don't know how to love or to be a family that you didn't have great role models. You may not have had the best parents growing up but you had a family who loved you, I have seen you overcome everything life has thrown at you and learn to love and care in spite of everything, that is how I know that you will be a truly amazing father and I do not doubt when you meet Harry you will feel just as strong an urge to love and protect him as you do for me" she told him passionately.
He felt humbled and overcome by emotions "Lily I don't know what to say, I will try my best"
"Good, Harry needs you, Severus. I know what Dumbledore is like, he is very powerful and very wise but he is used to seeing the bigger picture, he does what he needs to and doesn't always care about the people he uses to achieve his ends. If you do not claim him then he will send him to my sister, I know he will because he will believe that my blood protected him and that by placing him with her that my sister's blood will also protect him" he looked at her shocked with wide eyes.
She continued pleading with him, "You remember my sister Severus, you know how her curiosity turned to bitterness and jealousy, and eventually hatred of all things magical. I fear for Harry if she is allowed to raise him, he will grow up like you did never knowing love, that can't be allowed to happen, Severus, please I know I'm not meant to influence your choice but Harry needs you, please promise me you'll raise him"
"Lily I promise you I won't let that happen, I won't let him grow up like I did and I'll fight to make sure he doesn't go to your sister"
"Thank you, Severus. There is one more thing I must ask of you and this is the hardest thing yet. You must destroy the Horcrux inside of our son"
He looked at her horrified before he found his voice "what game is this? Surely you can't be asking what I think you're asking? There is only one way to destroy a Horcrux in a living vessel as I can testify and if you think I would do that to my own son"
"I know what I am asking of you is truly horrible but as long as his Horcruxes exist there is a chance that he will return as long as Harry lives with that Horcrux inside of him the wizarding world will never be truly free from his evil"
"But to kill my own son, no you can't ask that of me, it is evil beyond belief how could I live with myself if I killed my own son"
"I know and I hate to ask this of you but look at it this way Harry will have to endure this at some point to destroy the Horcrux which is better that you do it now when he is young enough to forget or if he grows up with that thing inside him and is killed by Voldemort or asked to sacrifice himself for the sake of the war. Do you want to raise your son like a pig for slaughter knowing that you're hiding that from him?"
"No, but I'm still not sure I can kill my own son" he said pacing nervously back and forth, "you seem awfully confident that this will work, what if something goes wrong and I kill him? Would you forgive me if his death is on my shoulders? If I waited I could research ways to remove it without killing him"
"I have faith in you Severus, you have shown that it is possible to destroy a Horcrux without killing the host I believe you can do the same for Harry. There is a ritual in old Latin they have shown me, you cast it to show death that you are sacrificing someone to purge them of evil and asking them to return them unharmed, it is the equivalent of you willingly sacrificing yourself, I will show you but you must do it tonight so they believe Harry is dead"
He instinctively knew who she meant and the idea sent cold chills down his spine but he knew she was right, it would take some incredible acting on his part but if he pulled it off it would be the ultimate deception to have the world believe Harry Potter had died and allow his son a chance at a normal childhood.
A short while later, after she had shown him all he needed to know, Lily turned to him "now Severus you must make a choice, you can continue on with me or you can choose to go back"
He looked away. This was one of the hardest things he had ever been asked to do, he wanted desperately to stay here where it was peaceful and he was free from pain and could be with the woman he loved but he knew he had a son who needed him back in the real world "Lily you know how much I love you more than life itself, if the choice was up to me then I would stay here with you and never leave" he paused and let out a breath, she smiled at him encouragingly and placed her soft hand on his supporting him and letting him know it was alright, he thought that they both knew the answer without him even speaking it but he continued nonetheless "but I can't, my son needs me, Harry needs his father"
"I know, it's alright. I love you too but I'm safe here and happy and I'll be waiting here for you, right now Harry needs you. I know how hard that was for you and what I am asking of you will be harder still but you're making the right choice"
He got up and was preparing himself to be sent back when he felt a hand on his arm, he looked down in surprise "there is one last thing. I have been told that I can bestow a gift on you to make up for all the bad things you've endured. I know how you hate yourself for everything you have been forced to do and carry that guilt with you like a burden, the magic here allows me to purge the dark magic from you and cleanse your soul"
He looked at her once again gobsmacked "but how?" She shrugged as though to convey that she didn't truly understand herself "I … I don't deserve this" she stepped up to him and shushed him, placing a finger from her own lips to touch his shocking him into silence.
"Do you truly regret what you were asked to do as a Death Eater?" "Of course" "Did you choose to commit those acts?" "No, of course not!" "Then you deserve this chance. Hold out your arm" she instructed.
He obeyed in confusion, holding out his left arm, she took it in one hand before chanting some incantation he didn't understand. His arm suddenly felt warm as though pure magic was flowing into it and through him, he could virtually feel it cleansing him, purging him of all the dark magic that had built up inside him.
He watched as a dark vapour seemed to rise out of his arm where his mark was, puffed out in a great cloud. He looked down and slowly a new mark seemed to form a silvery doe surrounded by a ring of fire, flames that looked almost like feathers forming a tiny but perfectly formed phoenix constantly chasing its own fiery tail. He didn't need anyone to explain that symbolism, Lily's Patronus was a doe and though he had never confided in anyone except Lily his was the same and the phoenix was notoriously pure, the symbol of rebirth, born rising from the burning embers. She summoned a mirror.
He blinked at the mark on his arm in astonishment before looking at the rest of his reflection. He looked somehow different as though he'd been cleansed and his dark inky black eyes were now a much lighter shade of brown.
"Without meaning to sound ungrateful but they will kill me if they see that I do not have the mark, they will realise that I am a traitor" he explained realising that his best chance to keep himself and his son alive was to continue playing the part of Voldemort's heir and loyal Death Eater, something which would be impossible now.
Lily held up a hand to stop him "ah don't fret, this is the clever part" she explained grinning at him before waving her hand over the mark, he blinked again and when he looked he saw the dark mark again, he looked at her questioningly "like I said this is very powerful magic, I cast a glamour over it so that it will still appear and function just like the dark mark minus the dark magic, everyone will see the old mark unless you choose to bring them into your confidence" He looked in the mirror once more and still saw his new appearance, the surface shimmered and suddenly he was staring at his old appearance.
"Thank you, you have no idea how much this means to me" he said hugging her unable to express his gratitude enough.
"Oh I think I have an idea" she said smiling glad to see him looking so much lighter and happier, "but now I'm afraid it's time for you to go back."
He nodded "Lily I love you so much" he said and allowed her to embrace him one last time.
"I know I love you too, one day we will be together again. Keep Harry safe let him know how much he is loved" he nodded holding on to this moment as long as he could.