A/N: I feel like the last two chapters I wrote weren't really on par with the other ones I'd written before that, not really sure why. I feel a lot better about these three, though; hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them!

I do not own Super Mario.

Chapter 32: I Am Imprisoned

I arrived back on Starship Mario with five (you mean SIX) lives once more, but…NO! All my Star Bits were gone! I had several hundred amassed; I don't remember exactly how many, but somewhere close to the 700 the Hungry Luma on the World 2 map wanted. I probably would've gotten enough in the Wild Glide Galaxy to make up the difference, and then I would've had another option for my final Power Star to unlock the Star Barrier! Granted, it probably would've sucked, like most other Hungry Luma galaxies do, but it would've been something. And for that matter, maybe one of my alternatives wouldn't have seemed so bad in comparison.

It was just after 7:00A.M. "Yoshi, is Lubba making any progress?" I called.

"No," Yoshi warbled. "He's…still stuck…under the, erm, the bridge."

What the heck was up with him? It was like I was talking to him while he was trying to relieve a bout of constipation. I didn't have time to see what the heck was going on with him, though; I had to get back to the Wild Glide Galaxy.

Dang, and if I'd withdrawn my Star Bits from Banktoad, I would've had 700. Or at least I could've deposited the ones I had with him to be saved for a later date so that the Power of the Game Over couldn't have touched them.

I landed back in the Wild Glide, and apparently because I died and got a Game Over, all memory of my existence in the galaxy was wiped because those orange birds made me sit – rather, hang – through the stupid gliding tutorial again. What the heck are the orange birds even called? They're clearly not Fluzzards, so what are they? They look kinda like parrots, and they repeat everything they say several times like parrots…are they just mutant parrots? Parrots it is.

So then I took flight on Fluzzard again, once again ignoring that arch to nowhere on the forest floor. This time I successfully made it through the hole that killed me last time…which for the record, made absolutely no sense. I fell into a stream; you cannot possibly die by falling into a stream that is too shallow to cause drowning! Then again, maybe the universe just inflicted a mercy kill on me, because I would've been stranded on the forest floor with an injured Fluzzard and no way to fly to the goal. Ridiculous amounts of time would have been waster trying to find a way out of there, time that Lubba would've used to further his escape attempts.

On the other side of the hole, the stream continued through a narrow canyon with yet another arch on the ground. What was the deal with these things? I mean, they hardly even look decorative, for crying out loud; the top half of them was like a cross-section of Bowser's shell.

After a curve, the canyon widened out into a larger area. I seemed to finally getting the hanging of this gliding thing. It was actually a lot easier than riding on Ray, because there going too fast was a hazard. It was either "go slow and don't make it to the finish line on time" or "go fast and don't make it to the finish line on time because you fall off the course." It was like 200cc in Mario Kart 8; "go fast and crash into stuff" or "go slow and lose because the other characters can somehow go through here like a bat out of hell and not crash into anything."

Next up: another gosh dang arch that I once again ignored, and then a pair of holes that led to another narrow canyon. The smaller hole contained a 1-Up Mushroom, while the larger one didn't. Seeing as how I had six lives on hand, I didn't risk going for the 1-Up Mushroom, but it was a crying shame I didn't get that far last time and have the chance to get an extra life, and thus avoid a Game Over.

This second canyon presented an additional hazard in the form of spiked vines hanging across it, that I had no doubt would kill me if I got tangled in them. Rather, would kill me by extension if Fluzzard got tangled in them. Once again, the canyon had a curve in it about halfway through, and sitting on a branch partway up the left canyon wall was yet another gosh dang ARCH! Yeah, no way was I bothering with it, because I was already gliding too low to safely reach it without hitting Fluzzard on either the branch or a tangle of spiked vines near the arch. Instead I flew under the vines and continued.

Next up was an area where the stream widened, and there were three holes in the wall up ahead that I could go through. I was already pretty low after ducking under the vines, and I didn't want to risk going for one of the two upper holes and then crashing right into the wall because I couldn't get enough altitude. So I stayed on course to go through the lowest hole, the one the stream fed directly into.

Which might have been a mistake because, judging by entrance size, this tunnel looked to be the smallest of the three, and thus the one where I would be most susceptible to crash Fluzzard into something, fall off him, and then be euthanized by more improbable drowning. But like I said, trying to fly – sorry, glide! – towards one of the bigger holes would've almost certainly resulted in death as well.

The path led me into yet another gosh dang ever-loving canyon. What in the flip is up with this? Never in all the years of my adventuring have I encountered a jungle with so many canyons. Poison swamps, rotating logs, and the giant enemies that for some incomprehensible reason have become synonymous with jungles, sure, but never canyons!

So yeah, canyon, whatever. Another turn in the path, whoop-de-do, nothing new here. Then suddenly the canyon opened up into a larger cave area crisscrossed by gigantic icicles. What the-? How were there icicles in a jungle?! It was somehow simultaneously warm enough for liquid water to exist and cold enough for frozen water to exist?

…

You know what, don't even tell me how, the explanation is probably mind-numbingly stupid.

Somehow, I managed to make it past the ice, and ahead of me was open sky, the sun ring that the Parrot mentioned, and…lo and behold, another arch over the end of the stream. Were these things, like, construction markers or something? Was Bowser gonna come in here and level the jungle to build some sort of industrial complex? Who knows, who really cares, since I'll be stopping him anyway.

I flew above the arch and headed for the sun ring, but…hold the phone, what the heck? Off to the left, trapped inside a glass cage, was a Star Coin! How was I supposed to get to it? Did I have to crash Fluzzard into it and try to use his beak to break open the cage? Not sure I really wanted to risk my only way through the sun ring on a useless Star Coin. Because, undoubtedly, I would get the Star Coin but Fluzzard would fall, I'd lose a life, time would be wasted again on me respawning at the start of the level, and I highly doubted I would have such a lucky run through this place next time too.

So I ignored the Star Coin, refusing to risk my Lubba and Peach prisoner swap on a stupid, useless Star Coin, and I headed for the sun ring. After making it through, Fluzzard and I reappeared on the platform at the start of the planet. The lead Parrot squawked, "You flew! You flew! Even Fluzzard looks happy! Happy! Here! Take this star! Nice flying!" The Parrot summoned a Power Star.

Once again, where was he keeping that thing? Or can he just yank Power Stars out of the ether? If so, where do I learn how to do that?

I grabbed the Power Star as the Parrot, for some reason, cheered, "Woohoo! Yay!" Why the heck was he happy I got the Power Star if it meant he had to give it up? Maybe he stole the Power Star from Bowser and now giving it up means Bowser will stop coming after him to try to get it back. Maybe that's why all the A-minor characters have Power Stars, because they stole them from Bowser. But if that's the case, and they truly are Bowser's enemies, and they want to pawn the Power Stars off to someone else, WHY NOT JUST GIVE THEM TO ME RIGHT AWAY?!

Well, I only had to get one more Power Star now; I was feeling pretty optimistic.

But just like happens whenever I feel optimistic, the universe felt the uncontrollable urge to go and ruin it.

Upon arriving back on Starship Mario, I landed not on the helm, but in some dark room. Some…things that felt like they were made of fabric were all around me. Then I heard Lubba say, "Enjoy your stay in my closet, courtesy of my handy dandy trusty Interceptor."

The same Interceptor he used to bring me to Starship Mario instead of the Starshroom after that fiasco in the Baby Blocks Galaxy? I ran in the direction of Lubba's voice, but hardly gained any momentum before I smashed into something hard. "OW!" I yelled, falling onto the floor and hitting my head on something else hard. "Where the flip am I, you mutineer?"

"Stop complaining, Mario. You got yourself into this situation by wronging me. I've come to the realization that having you around is a mistake."

"Great, so give me Starship Mario and you leave!"

"No. This was my asteroid before it became Starship Mario. So until I find a way to send you far, far away from here, you're trapped in my closet with Yoshi."

45. Traps me in his closet.

His CLOSET?! "How the flip did you even get free?"

"Ask Yoshi. Now, I'm going to start creating my device to banish you from Starship Mario for good."

46. Tries to banish me from my own (admittedly lame) ship.

I heard him shut the door to his room, and I called after him, "While you're at it, make it send me to the Comet Observatory!"

"Save your energy, Mario," Yoshi said dejectedly. "I think we're gonna be in here a long time."

"What happened here?" I asked. "Last I knew, you had things under control."

"I really didn't. Lubba escaped with his fart propulsion just before you got back last time, and when I tried to tie him up, he grabbed my tongue and started twisting it around. Then you got back, and he told me to tell you everything was going well or he'd tie my tongue in a knot. After that he trapped me in here. Trying to get out's no use. I think he welded the doors shut."

I felt around the closet. It was very small, which explained why I hit my head on the back wall after ricocheting off the door. The fabric I had felt before was obviously clothes. "Why the heck does Lubba have all these clothes, and yet all he ever wears is the same pair of pants day in and day out?" I asked, not expecting a response.

"When Lubba trapped me in here, when he opened the door, I could see that all his clothes are identical pairs of pants. So who knows how often he changes?" Yoshi said.

Who in the heck needs – I counted – 16 COMPLETELY IDENTICAL PAIRS OF PANTS?!

"Is there any sort of vent in here or something?" I asked.

"Hmm," Yoshi said. "Let me see." I heard him stretch out his tongue, and I'm guessing he was feeling along the ceiling with it. Not something I would've ever done; I have zero trust in Lubba to keep his room a hygienic environment.

"Here we go," Yoshi said. "I feel a vent here. But what use will this do us?"

"We'll crawl through the ventilation system and try to make our way back to the helm," I said. "Then we'll get out of here and get the final Power Star to execute the plan I outlined for you last night."

Yoshi retracted his tongue, and the vent cover fell from the ceiling, but then hit him on the head. "Ow," he moaned.

"And we should probably figure out where to go for the final Power Star ahead of time so we're not wasting time trying to figure that out on the helm while Lubba's closing in on us."

"Good thinking. I vote the Yoshi Star Galaxy. I like that place."

Of course he does. Well, I didn't want to go back there, on account of how that volcanic eruption probably flooded the dinosaur graveyard Starting Planet with lava. But maybe the bones would provide some sort of footing over the lava? I really had no idea.

I leapt on Yoshi's back and we flutter-jumped into the vent, then started crawling around. It felt like that scene from The Breakfast Toads with the one guy crawling around in the ceiling, but significantly lamer in real life.

After estimating where the helm was, we tried pushing up on the roof of the vent to see if it could lift. With a bit of effort, it did, letting me and Yoshi onto the helm. Lubba, thank goodness, wasn't there, but Banktoad and Mailtoad were.

"Mario!" Banktoad cried. "What were you doing under there? I thought you'd never escape!"

"Shut up!" I hissed. "Yoshi and I are going to get another Power Star. While we're-"

"Mario?" Lubba yelled from somewhere on the side of the ship. "Where's Mario?"

I dashed towards the helm with Yoshi and continued, "- gone, you two break into Lubba's closet and look around for this device he has called an Interceptor. Destroy it, or else when we get back, we'll end up trapped in the closet."

"Aye aye, Mario," Mailtoad said. "I hope we don't let you down."

Gee, that sure instills confidence.

I grabbed the steering wheel and maneuvered us back through the portal into World 1, towards the Yoshi Star Galaxy.

Lubba floated onto the helm and ordered, "Mario! Yoshi! You two stand down now! You're going right back in my closet!"

"Stay back, Lubba!" one of the two Toads said (I was facing away from them, and they sound identical). "If you take one step further, we're going to have trouble."

See, this is why I win every war of words I have with a Toad: because they leave blatant loopholes in everything they say. Lubba doesn't step, he floats, you idiot!

I selected the Yoshi Star Galaxy and was blasted out the helm hole, but…what the flip? Yoshi didn't come with me; he must have hit the forcefield to the side of the helm hole and fallen back to Starship Mario. Gosh flippin' dang it!

Well, at least Mailtoad and Banktoad would have more help fighting Lubba now, because everyone knows Toads are completely inept in a fight. Now to get Power Star #16!