A/N: Thanks for patiently waiting for the next installment! I've been busy the past month or so, and working on another new fanfic as well. But to make up for it, here are not two, not three, but FOUR new chapters to wrap up World 2 for now. Enjoy, and please R&R!

Also, after after doing a bit of reading on Mariowiki, I realized that there is no "Green Toad" in the Toad Brigade, and that the Green Toad in the Brigade is actually Banktoad. But for the sake of this story, I'll leave a separate Green Toad in the Brigade...mostly just because I don't want to give up the name Baron Jacques Francois de la Quatraime Neveltoad.

I do not own Super Mario.

Chapter 35: Battle on Starship Mario

I landed back on the helm of Starship Mario, only to immediately be surrounded by the insurgent Lumas. Yoshi was also gone, for some reason – well, then again, he didn't return to the helm with me in "Saddle up with Yoshi" either. Only now his egg probably wasn't on the Starship's nose either, since the Starship Mario version of Yoshi was trapped in the bathroom with Banktoad and Mailtoad.

"Mario!" Polari clone sneered, aiming his hose at me. "We've finally got your sorry butt right where we want it. Now you're going in the bathroom with our other prisoners, and you're going to stay there while you think about what you've done."

"Or what?" I spat.

"Or we're going to have…issues," Lubba said, "Everyone else here is on my side. Give it up now."

"Uh…." I looked around for a way out of this predicament. I was boxed in on all sides by these mutineers, and had no direct path to the steering wheel.

Wait a minute.

Right next to me was some glowing blue sign I never noticed before. Was it here before? I didn't know; I'd been preoccupied with more important matters that morning than checking to see if new things were popping up on the Starship. It was probably a new arrival like Mailtoad.

"Okay, fine," I feigned surrender. "You've got me…NOT!"

I grabbed the sign, wrenched it off the helm, and swatted Polari clone in the face with it. He flew aside, and his fire hose slipped from his grasp right into my non-sign-holding hand.

"Alright, this is how this is gonna go down," I said. "You're all going to back off; free Yoshi, Mailtoad, and Banktoad; and give me safe passage to the helm so I can head to whatever the Bowser-owned galaxy at the end of World 2 is – AAH!"

Someone who most certainly did not feel like a Luma leapt on me from behind and started punching me in the ears. My assailant said, "This is for hitting me in the mouth, boiyoing!"

Oh, COME ON! The STAR BUNNY had sided with Lubba?! Man, he wasn't kidding when he said "everyone else."

And, for another translation: "This is for hitting me in the f-ing mouth!" I know that's not exactly what he said, but that just makes more sense than randomly throwing an F-bomb at the end of the sentence. Maybe he was talking some sort of French, where adjectives come after nouns.

I turned the hose around and took a shot in the dark, trying to spray Star Bunny in the face. But with him occupying me, a bunch of the Lumas leapt at me from the front. I swatted them aside with the blue sign, then risked dropping the sign to try to wrench Star Bunny off me. But then Lubba picked up the sign and started SPANKING ME with it! Unbelievable!

I finally grabbed Star Bunny by the arm as he was about to ear-punch me again, and swung him into Lubba. Star Bunny and the sign fell to the helm, while Lubba's improbable weightlessness propelled him into the Starship's pine tree.

I couldn't help it. I had to say it again:

"Pine tree! You're coming into pine tree!"

I wasn't certain, but it felt like Baby Luma chuckled.

But the Lumas who had leapt at me were now lying on the helm, dazed, clearing me a path to the helm. My instinct was to just make a beeline for the steering wheel and then Bowser's Castle.

But….

If I did that and then Bowser refused my offer to swap Lubba for Peach, I would be walking into this nightmare all over again when I returned to Starship Mario. It would benefit me more to go down to the bathroom first and free Yoshi and the Toads.

So instead I ran off the side of the helm and headed belowdecks, followed by a horde of Lumas. "Get back here, Mario!" Lubba yelled. "Get back here and face your fate!"

He couldn't even come up with something cool to yell; he had to go and steal the tagline from the reboot of Toadoween.

47. Appropriates movie taglines to compensate for a lack of creativity.

Then again, this coming from the same guy who twice now has appropriated a quote from White Christmashroom and turned it into a taunt. So…should I redact #47? To redact or not to redact? That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in….

I swear to you, I got two words further than that last time I tried quoting that line. I was losing brain cells here! Well, I guess that's what happens when you're trapped on a spaceship with a bunch of idiots, with no chance to engage in intelligent conversations with someone.

48. Makes me lose brain cells.

The fire hose suddenly dropped from my hand, apparently having stretched as far as it could. Well, that was stupid, seeing as how it didn't even make it halfway to the cabins. What if my cabin broke out in flames? What, would I have to haul the fire extinguisher from the engine room halfway through the ship's interior?

I hightailed it to the bathroom, and found the door locked. With the Lumas bearing down on me, I didn't bother taking the time to unlock it, and instead just kicked the door open. I'd always wanted to do that. I even tried it one of the times I stormed Bowser's Castle, only to break my ankle because the front doors of his castle were apparently made of METAL painted to LOOK LIKE wood.

But as soon as the door flew open, I got blasted in the face with a spray of scalding-hot water from the showerhead. "AAGH!" I screamed, falling to the floor and desperately trying to shield any exposed skin from the water.

"Banktoad, stop, it's Mario!" Yoshi said.

The stream of water abated and Banktoad ran over. "I'm so sorry, Mario," he said. "We heard a commotion outside and assumed it was Lubba or the Lumas or that foul-mouthed rabbit trying to break in."

Huh. So I wasn't the only one who had arrived at that conclusion about the meaning of "Boiyoing!"

Suddenly, Lubba grabbed the doorknob and said, "Enjoy being trapped in here now, you four!"

"You idiot, I broke the lock!" I shot back. "You can't trap us in here now. To freedom!"

Yoshi, Mailtoad, Banktoad, and I charged forth. Banktoad sprayed the showerhead at Lubba, while Yoshi smacked the Co-Star Luma aside with a plunger.

Part of me felt that if one of us was going to be wielding a plunger in battle, it should've been me, but I wasn't in much of a position to complain.

Mailtoad smacked one of the other Lumas in the face with my shaving razor, clearing us a path out of the bathroom. The four of us rushed down the hall back towards the helm, but were suddenly cut off by late-to-the-party Star Bunny.

"Boiyoing! You're not going anywhere, boiyoing!" he chittered.

Which means…:

"F-! You're not going anywhere! F-!"

You think I need to lay that out anymore, or can you all mentally translate on your own?

Yoshi hurled the plunger at Star Bunny, but it was suddenly blasted aside by a stream of water. Ugh; Polari clone was further down the hall, sniping at us with the hose. Yoshi managed to grab the plunger out of the air with his tongue, which almost made me throw up in my mouth. My TONGUE is the absolute last part of my body I would ever use to touch a plunger!

Star Bunny leapt up and kicked Banktoad in the face, knocking him over backwards. Yoshi swung the plunger at Star Bunny as he leapt by, and – don't ask me how – the business end of the plunger somehow got suctioned to the rabbit's butt. Star Bunny tumbled to the floor, the handle of the plunger flipping up and jabbing Lubba in the nuts as he tried to follow us.

Suddenly, Polari clone's hose blasted me in the face, knocking me over backwards. Oh come on! "Yoshi, grab the hose from him!" Mailtoad yelled.

"He's too far away," Yoshi said.

Under less dire circumstances I might've kept this to myself, but when I'm under stress, the filter on my mouth starts to peel off at the edges. So I yelled at Yoshi, "I've seen you shoot your tongue from the third-floor balcony of Peach's Castle onto the pathway outside just to grab a berry off a platter Toadsworth was carrying, so DO NOT tell me you can't shoot your tongue down the hall and wrench that gosh dang boiyoinging hose away from Polari clone!"

"I never did that," Yoshi said.

Yes he – oh no, waaaaaaaait, that was back in 2003, if I recall correctly. So it was probably a completely different Yoshi who did that.

"Hang on, Mario, I've got an idea," Yoshi said. "You…you might not like it, so…I just hope you don't yell at me."

"Okay," I said. As in: "Okay, I acknowledge that you hope I won't yell at you, but I'm not making any promises, buster."

Yoshi latched onto my leg with his tail and swung me in a circle. What the heck was that going to accomplish besides me puking all over him and the Toads? Or was he planning to have me puke into the stream of hose water, like a much lamer and more disgusting version of those climactic energy blast duels in fantasy movies?

It turned out his plan was to fling me from his tongue at Polari clone after gaining sufficient momentum. I flew down the hall, hoping and praying I wouldn't miss the Luma and slam into the wall at however many dozen miles an hour I was flying at. Fortunately, Yoshi's tongue-related aim turned out to be more accurate than his urinary aim (I speak from experience), because I flew straight into Polari clone's smug, leering face. The hose flew out of his grasp and clattered to the floor, while I landed atop Polari clone at the end of the hall.

"Get off me!" Polari clone squealed.

Baby Luma sneered some Luma gibberish at Polari clone. I have no idea what he said, but whatever it was, it made Polari clone gasp. "Them's fightin' words!" he squeaked.

Polari clone leapt at my face, but a stream of water from the hose blasted him in the face. I turned around to see that control of the hose was now Yoshi's. "What do we do with all of the mutineers?" Yoshi asked. "We can't exactly keep them trapped in the bathroom, since you busted the lock, Mario."

Was that a hint of snark in his voice? Yeah, and if I hadn't busted the lock, I'd have been overtaken by the mutineers, and then all of us would've ended up locked in the bathroom!

"Well, I have a plan," I said. "Keep them busy. I'm gonna go to Bowser's galaxy and try to arrange a transfer: he gives me Peach, and I give him Lubba."

"What?!" Lubba yelled. "Mario, how dare you! I gave you a home and this is how you repay me?!"

…I wasn't even bothering to argue with him at this point.

"Wait, so you're just going to leave us here?" Mailtoad said.

"Well, someone has to go relay the offer to Bowser!"

"I'll do it, I'll do it!" Banktoad said. "I've never really gone on an official Toad Brigade mission. This would be so exciting."

"This is not an official Toad Brigade mission; this is an official Mario mission! I'm going and doing this, and that's final!"

"Mario!" everyone called after me as I ran up to the helm. I briefly wondered if in doing this I was getting rid on one group that hated me (the Lumas) and unintentionally creating another (Yoshi and the Toads).

Nah, who was I kidding? They wouldn't dare be upset with me after I saved them all from Lubba's tyranny.