Hi!

I posted this to AO3 but thought fuck it why not add it here too...
One of my modules at uni explores domestic violence/abuse and somehow after a very stressful few weeks in the house (oh girls) and a heavy couple lectures my brain dreamt this story up.
Updates will probably not be consistent but hey ho. I don't know why I keep hurting him but here we go I guess.

Please lemme know what y'all think,
enjoy?
all love,
Vx

"Hey yo, Halstead? You coming to Mollys?" Jay heard Adam call across the bullpen to him.

Sighing while shaking his head he responds with a strong but despondent "Nah, not tonight man, sorry."

He started to grab his jacket, pocketing his phone whilst tuning out the grumbles and groans from the rest of the unit as they head down to stairs to leave for the bar. Turning to leave out the back door, Jay noticed Voight stood in the doorway to his office and nodding his acknowledgement, he was stopped with a hand to the shoulder.

"A word, Halstead." Voights gruff voice rang out.

Jay snuck a glance at his watch, knowing he needed to be out and home soon but also not able to say no to his boss, he shook his head and followed Voight into his office.

"Everything alright Sarge?" he asked, trying for an air of normality.

"That's what I was about to ask you, the guys are worried about you."

"Sarge, I'm fi-"

"Yeah, I know you're going to say you're fine and that everything's ok. I'm just giving you a heads up that if you need anything, the guys would be happy to help and listen. And Halstead, so would I."

Jay looked up at his sergeant in surprise, eyes shining, but pushed those feelings aside as he tapped Voight on the arm and pulled his phone out of his pocket with a "thanks Hank. But I'm good, swear."

Voight nodded his acceptance and let his detective go, calling out a goodbye and a "see you tomorrow kid."

Rushing to his car, Jay hopped in and threw his phone, bag and jacket onto the passenger side, and sped off. Forgetting to send a message as to why he was running late.

Twenty minutes later he arrived back at his apartment and taking a breath, walked through the front door.

He was met with silence, a filled table, but silence. And no Sam.

Kicking off his shoes and placing them neatly by the door, Jay ventured further into the apartment to find Sam standing leaning in the gap between the kitchen and the living room, beer in hand.

"You missed dinner."

"I know. I'm sorry, Voight needed me for something about the case. I should have messaged."

Sam shook his head and took another swig of the beer.

"You missed dinner."

Jay just sighed and nodded his head, not knowing what else Sam wanted from him at this point.

"I was worried. You didn't call, you didn't text."

"I'm sorry."

Sam placed his now empty beer bottle on the counter and headed to tidy up the dishes from dinner, Jay stood back watching his body language, trying to gauge how tonight was going to play out. He watched Sam collect the plates, the cutlery and carry them to the sink, he heard the clatter as he slammed them down, controlling the flinch.

"Want me to help?" he asked slowly, looking up at Sam before quickly looking back down seeing the look in his eyes.

"No, don't worry yourself with it. You've had a busy day at work." Jay caught but ignored the tone and attitude used and just continued on into their bedroom, placing his gun in the safe.

Changing from his jeans to a pair of sweatpants, Jay thought back over the day, the case was going nowhere, it was bringing up unwanted memories, the guys were asking questions and Voight was checking up on him. All in all, not a great day. He decided it would be best to relax with his boyfriend and so turned to walk back to the kitchen to see if there was anything he could do to help.

"Catch" was all the warning Jay had before he was hit in the jaw by something hard and cold. The object smashed onto the floor after bouncing off his jaw, the wetness seeping into his socks.

"Oh come on. Why'd you have to go and make a mess for. Look what you've done" Sam said pointing down to the broken beer bottle on the floor at his feet.

"Wait but I-" Jay tried to defend himself but was immediately cut off by Sam once again,

"I thought you were supposed to have quick reflexes, you know being a soldier and all." he snickered. Jay did nothing more than sigh as he crouched down to tidy the bits of glass off the floor before grabbing a cloth to wipe the contents up, not without receiving a few little cuts on his fingers and hand from the sharp edges.

Once that was all tidied up and they were both sat on the couch watching a film, 'The Take' to be specific, Jay wasn't really paying attention, his mind on his partners legs over his own, and the case. Nothing seemed to be going their way, every lead was dead and three days into this case they were being told by the white shirts to give it up to homicide and move onto the next. But Jay knew Voight wouldn't do that until there was literally nothing else they could do, they would be recanvasing and retaking statements in the morning to find any discrepancies or just anything that might help them figure this thing out.

Jay was snapped out of his reverie by a bomb going off on the screen. Flinching away and reaching to his side for his firearm, while hitting Sam in the process. The second his hand connected with the skin on Sam's ankle, Jay snapped back to it, and he jumped off the couch to get as far away as he could without leaving the room.

Sam watched Jay flinch, watched him reach for his gun and then back himself up against the far wall.

"What was that?" he asked, voice low.

"I don't know, sorry."

"No, you just reached for your gun! What the hell were you going to do?" he said, voice getting louder.

"I'm sorry, I-I- I thought that- bomb" was all he was able to stutter out.

"Wow, were you really not paying attention? That hurts Jay."

"What?"

Jay watched as Sam stood up and placed his beer bottle on the coffee table. His heart hadn't stopped pounding but he knew his breathing had sped up a little as Sam held out a hand to him to lift him off the wall. Confusion washed over his face but he was quick to mask it with a small mumbled "thanks".

"It's getting late" Jay noticed, voicing his thought out loud, which had Sam nodding in agreement. He was pulled into a hug, Sam placing a gentle kiss on the top of his head as his fingers carded through his hair. Jay felt himself start to relax, his arms dropping to rest at Sam's hips, holding him close, accepting this moment of kindness. It reminded him of when he first got together with Sam, the gentle touches, the soft voice. This trip down memory lane was cut short however when Sam whispered in his ear "think you should sleep on the couch tonight?"

Jay froze, Sam had worded it as a question but he knew it was a statement. Which he could do nothing but nod his reply to.

The next morning, Jay awoke early, whole body stiff from the couch. Standing up, stretching and clicking everything, he headed to the kitchen to make a coffee for himself and Sam.

Once the pot had finished brewing Jay filled a cup for Sam and headed to the bedroom, gently knocking on the door.

"Hey, I brought you a coffee." he said, placing it on the nightstand at Sam's side, dropping a light kiss onto his forehead.

"Morning" was his response, as Sam rolled over to sit up. "You feel any better?" he asked Jay.

"Yeah, all good." he lied, nightmares having kept him up most of the night, documentaries on the tv being his only distraction.

"I have to head to work soon though, I'll keep you updated through the day, I'll let you know if I'm going to be late again." Jay continued softly, still crouched at the side of the bed.

"Yeah, don't worry about it" Sam said, "don't want you getting distracted at work"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jay said, suddenly overrun with confusion and frustration, "you know how important this job is, you know how busy I am."

"More important than me?" Sam butted in, Jay tried to ignore him and continued with a sigh.

"When I can, I'll message you but for now I'm going to get ready for work" he finished, turning around to head to the shower.

Heading back to the bedroom to say bye to Sam, he was met with a cold stare and a cheek when he leant in for a kiss.

"I'm off, I'll text you later."

"Yeah." was the only response he got.

Looking at his boyfriend with pleading eyes, Jay let out a sad breathy "Sam, come on" to which he was given a sad smile as Sam said "don't get distracted."

Jay shook his head, smiling slightly, trying to hide the hurt in his eyes.

He was stopped on his way towards the door when Sam called out "you always look hot with a bruise on your face".

Jay blanched, he completely forgot about the bottle and the bruise, and spent the remainder of his journey to work trying to think up a new excuse as to why he had a bruise on his jaw when he left work without one last night.

'Fuck' Jay thought 'what would they believe this time?'