Thank you to the lovely Lea for beta-ing this chapter and giving me the push to edit this after months of letting it marinate in my drafts. Happy reading!

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, nor make any money from this.

Angel watches the prosecutor give his closing statement, weaving together words about justice and hard facts as the courtroom listens silently. Kathy shifts beside him, playing with her skirt as Jenny and Giles stare straight ahead stoically. His mom sits ahead, her back facing him with her hair in a low ponytail and he recalls the dread in her face when she entered the room, only somewhat soothed by both his and Kathy's presence.

The judge closes the day and everyone rises, the room beginning to filter out, shoes shuffling against the linoleum floor and murmurs mixed together. Angel gets up, Kathy at his side as Moira turns to them with an exhausted smile.

"I'll see you two soon, alright? Be good, be happy," she tells them and Angel picks up his sister, making sure they get a proper goodbye before the court officer comes to take Moira back to prison. "I love you so much, darling."

"Love you, mommy."

"Angel, sweetheart, please have some fun, alright? Give yourself a break," she hugs him with one arm and kisses his cheek, "I love you."

"I love you, too," Angel tells her in Irish as the officer handcuffs Moira and takes her away. Angel and Kathy watch her leave the room while Giles and Jenny talk to their lawyer.

"Angel."

He freezes, pinpointing the voice and turns around, all the air sucked out of the room. "Buffy."

"Hey."

"What…what are you doing here?"

"Giles told me your mom's trial started today, and...I guess I felt like I needed to be here. I didn't catch much, but how are things going?"

Angel shrugs jerkily. "About as expected. My mom is pleading guilty to get a lighter sentence, so we knew what would happen. It's just been a long day and we're all tired."

"Yeah, I bet it," Buffy pauses, shuffling nervously from foot to foot, "Look, I'm not saying we can be friends or that we're okay - because we're not, and this isn't me forgiving you. I'm still not ready to be chummy."

"Of course," he nods.

"But I know this is probably really hard for you and I thought you might need someone to talk to - sometime, so I just wanted to let you know. I'll be around. Anyways, my mom is probably waiting for me, so I'm gonna go."

He deflates but then hopes he doesn't look too dismayed. "Of course. Have a good night, Buffy."

"Goodbye, Angel," he watches her walk out of the courtroom and spare him a glance before exiting the wooden double doors.

"Was that Buffy?" Giles asks curiously, placing a friendly hand on Angel's shoulder.

"Yeah. She said she wanted to come and offer some support."

"That's very kind of her. I told her your mother's trial was today, but I didn't expect her to show up."

"Why doesn't Buffy babysit me anymore?" Kathy interjects.

"It's not that she doesn't want to," Angel explains gently, "but now that we're living with Aunt Jenny and Uncle Giles, you don't need a babysitter. Someone's always home to watch you."

She pouts. "Hmph. I miss Buffy."

"Yeah," he sighs softly, "I miss her, too."

"I still don't think I get it."

"Me neither. You want to be best-buds with Angel and have him cry on your shoulder like some big baby?" Cordelia adds disbelievingly.

"What I want," Buffy stresses, "is for Angel to have somebody to talk to. You know he doesn't have friends at this school, you heard Parker and basically everyone else here."

"So, this is about pity?" Xander asks disbelievingly and she glares a little.

"It's about support," she bites out sharply.

"You're crazy," Cordelia declares, "You must be, because Angel broke your heart and you're still choosing to hang around him."

Buffy looks to Willow for some backup, only to receive a sheepish shrug in return. "You're doing a good thing, Buffy - I'm just worried about the you factor in all of this. I think we all are."

"Thank you, but it's not necessary," Buffy replies firmly. She is glad for their concern, really, but she is not a masochist with a glutton for yearning. She's keeping her bruised heart closely guarded. "I can handle myself."

"Sure you can," Cordelia nods sympathetically, and Buffy resists the strong urge to roll her eyes.

"Can we talk about something else, please?"

"I heard it might actually snow this month, if the temperature gets low enough," Willow offers a weak subject change but Buffy gives her a grateful yet amused smile.

"Nicely done, Will," Xander snarks, earning him a light slap on the arm. "Youch! Such violent tendencies you have. Oz would protect me if he was here."

"Remind me why I'm here with you three?" Cordelia sighs dramatically.

"Because your dad revoked your car privileges after going way over your credit card limit," Buffy bumps her hip and Cordelia scoffs, somewhat sullen.

"There was a sale at Curated Revival! Like he would understand, all he does is wear ugly sweater vests and polyester pants."

"The horror!" Xander moans exaggeratedly, getting a heated glare in response and Willow glances between the two in amusement.

"Come to think of it, Xander, he dresses exactly like you. How does it feel to have the same fashion sense as a fifty-year-old man?"

He grits his teeth and looks ahead, speaking in a snarky tone. "Oh, look, we made it to your street, looks like you'll have to walk by yourself."

They're at the intersection that leads to each of their houses, their usual parting spot after walking back from the Bronze together. Willow and Cordelia's houses are in the same direction, so they silently partner together while Buffy looks up ahead, where she'll eventually make it home. They all say their goodbyes, trading hugs and promises to call or make plans before splitting up.

Buffy walks and walks, nearly at her neighbourhood but she feels restless for some reason, too much energy too keep in. She forgoes her house, letting her body guide her wherever as street lights illuminate her path.

She isn't sure where she is exactly, until she recognizes a rundown park across the street and spots someone on the swings; possibly against her better judgement, she walks over and her feet crunch against the sand. He looks up at the sound and he stiffens, eyes alert. "Buffy. Hi."

"Angel."

Thick silence falls over them like a blanket of fog. She settles into the swing next to him and digs her feet into the sand to swing back and forth gently. "I can leave if you want."

"You don't have to do that. You were here first. What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Needed air and time to clear my head. You?"

"I was out with Willow, Xander and Cordy at the Bronze, and I was gonna go home but I wasn't quite ready. Just feeling kinda jittery. Too much energy and nowhere to put it."

"I know the feeling," he mutters, his shoes tracing circles into the sand.

"How - how is it living with Giles and Miss Calendar?"

"It's fine - not bad, just different. Kathy is still adjusting but she likes it there. I've been staying in Giles's den, which is fine, I just kinda ended up realizing how little we have, and now I have to get used them paying for me. Do you know they gave me a curfew? And if I come home late, they'll ground me?" a bubble of laughter escapes Buffy's mouth at his incredulity, and Angel cracks a tiny smile, "I guess it sounds kinda silly."

"Just a little to the rest of us who've had a curfew since the age of thirteen."

"It's just…weird."

She chuckles briefly. "How's your mom doing?"

"She's okay. I know she tries to put on a brave face when she sees me, but she's staying out of trouble, doing everything our lawyer says. The trial is going pretty much how we thought it would and hopefully we'll get a verdict soon."

"Tell me when that day comes, alright?"

"Of course."

They sit in the quiet, cars occasionally passing by and Buffy starts swinging, extending her feet and bending them back. "I bet I can go way higher than you."

"Try me."

They both start swinging determinedly, feet kicking in the air and falling back as they gain more height. The cool wind bites at Buffy's cheeks, the force taking her higher and she can just about make out the peaks of nearby houses. Angel is right about the same height as her, face creased in concentration and his legs look extremely long, painting an amusing image that she can't resist laughing at.

He grins. "Tie?"

"Fine," she concedes, "Should we jump?"

He nods as they swing in unison. "3…2…1!"

Buffy breaks away from the swing, and for a moment, she is flying through the air and waiting to reach the ground. Her body feels as if it holds no weight, gravity can't hold her down and there is no ache in her heart. Her feet touch the sandy ground and her arms are slightly outstretched; she looks to her side, where Angel is still smiling, and god, she hopes he felt that kind of weightless joy, if only for a second.

When Angel gets home from work, he's met with Giles and Jenny's solemn faces. Kathy is happily watching TV, blissfully unaware of the dark cloud that has crept into the house. He's promptly led to his "bedroom," where his aunt and uncle have requested a talk about a serious subject.

"Ms. Gama has been monitoring our situation, as you know," Jenny starts, referring to their CPS case worker, "and she told us there's a consideration of moving Kathy to a foster home. Me and Rupert have been fighting for custody, and while you are eighteen, your situation isn't ideal for her, so Kathy's situation is…somewhat up in the air right now. I haven't told her yet, but I thought you should know. I'm trying all I can, I'm putting together bills and mortgage statements, but the decision is out of our hands."

"But, I mean…" Angel chokes on his words, his throat tight, "What will happen? Where will Kathy go? Could I still see her?"

"We don't think they'd move her out-of-state," Giles explains cautiously, "but I'm not so sure if we'd be allowed to visit that often. Maybe once a month."

Something in his stomach feels like it's coalescing and his face is clammy with sweat. One hit could knock all the air out of him. He thinks of sweet Kathy, taken away to some strange place, forced to live with other children who've never had the fortune of a proper life.

His little sister, gone.

"Okay."

Jenny and Giles stare with obvious concern but he doesn't say anything else and eventually they leave the room to give him privacy. He wants to scream, he wants to rage at CPS, at the police, at his mom, at everyone and it's an ugly feeling. He can sense it spreading, in his chest, his heart, everywhere, a virus infecting him.

He entertains running away, but even that is a seriously stupid plan. Dropping out of school? That probably won't help Kathy if he doesn't even have his high school diploma. He can talk to Ms. Gama, but CPS won't be granting custody based on who begs the most for it. Angel holds no power in this situation.

"Deartháir?" Kathy's at his door, her face open and sweet and trusting, "Have you seen my glitter pens?

"Your glitter pens?" his voice sounds strangely brittle and he gets up to follow after his sister.

"I took them out of my pencil case to draw pictures of the Powerpuff Girls and I can't remember where I put them. Can you help me?"

"Sure. Yes, of course."

Angel goes into Kathy's room and starts combing erratically through any shelves, throwing away pillows and clawing under furniture for some sign of a pen. He tosses back the sheets on Kathy's beds, scrambling around hysterically as she watches silently from the doorway. She needs this pen, find Kathy's pen, make her happy.

Angel strides into the living room, going to the one couch and starts throwing away couch cushions, searching through the slim holes in the couch. Giles comes in at the intrusion, watching the scene unfold. "Angel, what are you looking for?"

"Kathy lost her glitter pens. They're somewhere here…"

Jenny comes in too. They're all watching him. It feels like pins pricking his face. "What's going on?"

"Kathy's pens, her glitter pens, they're gone. She needs them. I need to get them for her."

"We can always go out and buy new ones," Jenny offers, "It's not a big deal, Angel."

"No, no, I can find her pens, alright? I can do this," Angel says sharply, looking through the table in the corner and starts shoving items onto the floor, "I-I can find them, I can."

He briefly registers the sound of Jenny ushering Kathy back into her bedroom and he feels Giles touch his shoulder. "Angel. It's alright."

"No, it's not, Kathy needs her pens, they're gone, I have to help her find it, I need to do this-"

"Angel."

"Don't say my name like that. I'm fine. I'm fine, okay? I just need to do this, let me do this!"

Angel's cheeks are wet and he realizes he's crying. Giles still has his hand on Angel's shoulder as he crumples to the ground and buries his head in his hands. They sit in silence together, the room filled with the sound of Angel's tears and sniffles.

"I'm sorry," he manages to choke out, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright."

"I don't know how much longer I can do this," he admits, so worn down and exhausted from trying to keep himself together, "I'm so angry and I don't like that, I don't, I want to be a good person. I want to be good for Kathy, for my mom, for you and Jenny, for Buffy, for everyone…if I'm anything else...I'll be like him. I'll be like my dad."

"You aren't," Giles says softly, "I've heard the stories, you couldn't be more different from the man."

"I'm just so afraid…"

"You are not him."

Angel sits there for a long time with Giles beside him. No sort of switch flips in his head - but the tears he'd shed have cleared the weight that's been sitting on his chest.

Buffy isn't too sure how this happened. One minute, she's laughing and joking around with Willow and Xander, next thing she knows, Principal Snyder is in her face rambling about unruly hallway manners and how they've turned this school into a pigsty. Now, she's in the school library, a mandatory assignment by Snyder to help organize the books just before the winter holidays.

Miss French, the condescending shrew, is scanning all the students critically and looking through an attendance list. A couple more students walk in, each equally disgruntled and Angel follows, Buffy's surprise reflected in his own eyes as their gazes meet. He stands off to the side, not exactly nearby but his presence itches at her, taking up the whole room.

Instructions are rattled off by Miss French, sending off pairs of students to help manage inventory and Buffy is barely listening until her name is mentioned. "...Buffy, Liam, you two will be doing the history section. Here's a checklist you can follow, and make sure to fill out these papers once you're done with checking over all the books."

Angel takes the papers for them, Buffy following silently to the back of the library where the history books are. Once they're alone, surrounded by silence and dusty shelves of worn books, Buffy speaks softly. "So, how did you get stuck with inventory duty? Did Snyder get you?"

"Yeah, apparently breathing is reason enough to get stuck in the library. His words."

"How did we get so lucky with our school principal?"

"The benefits of a Sunnydale education."

They share a smile before Buffy drops his gaze, her cheeks flushed. "So, how about we start alphabetically and work our way through?"

"Okay."

They work side by side, checking over papers and looking through the inventory logs. Buffy tries not to react when their hands accidentally brush together as they exchange textbooks on the eighteenth century.

"So, um, any plans for the holidays?" Buffy asks awkwardly.

"Nah…just gonna be with Giles and Jenny. I might take Kathy ice skating as one of her Christmas gifts. You?"

"I'll probably spend Christmas with my mom, we'll get a tree, bake sugar cookies, watch whatever holiday movies are playing. Then me and my dad are gonna spend a few days in Aspen. He booked a room at a ski lodge. Gonna try out snowboarding and do some ice skating."

"That sounds fun."

"Yeah, sure. I don't know, I've never tried snowboarding before, maybe I'll make an embarrassment out of myself once I set foot down the bunny hill."

"Nah, you'll be a total pro. You're not embarrassing, you couldn't be even if you tried."

An awkward hush falls over them; Buffy looks up to stare at Angel, who is steadfastly staring down at a book, his cheeks pink. She clears her throat, trying to refocus on the task at hand and act like her heart isn't pounding like a jackhammer.

They don't talk much after that, settling on working diligently before going their separate ways home. Buffy only turns back once to glimpse his retreating back - which she'd like to consider an improvement, but it still kinda feels like a piece of her is walking away too.

"Deartháir, Aunt Jenny, watch me! Watch this!" Kathy calls excitedly, doing a half-twirl as she skates, "Did you see?!"

"That was so cool, Kath," Angel supplies enthusiastically, "How did you do that?"

"Easy! When you start skating, you need to use your arms like this," she stretches them out to show him, "and then you use your feet to help, 'cause that's how you get the twirly part."

"Good strategy, Kathy," Jenny nods earnestly, "How did you become such a good skater?"

"Lots of practice. Deartháir says it's always important to practice to get good at stuff, it's the only way to learn."

"Your brother is definitely right about that," Jenny spots someone in the distance, "I think I see Giles with the hot chocolates and gingerbread. Come on, we won't keep him waiting."

They all skate over closest to the exit where Giles has found them a table. Kathy is whizzing around with a big grin, she's never been so ecstatic. Jenny isn't so bad on skates either, she moves gracefully while Angel still wobbles, his hulking figure not quite suited for the ice just yet. They all waddle to the plastic table and sit down, letting the warmth of the hot chocolate satiate the freezing temperature of the rink.

"I wanna come here with Natty and Jonah," Kathy babbles, "that way I can teach them to skate, too! Well, Natty already knows how to skate because she took lessons with her sisters, but Jonah doesn't and I can show them the tricks I learned."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," Jenny replies, "Maybe after New Year's, hm? We'll take them to the rink."

Kathy grins triumphantly before turning to Giles. "Did you have fun today, Uncle RuRu?"

Angel hides a smile as Giles tries not to bristle at his new nickname. "Lots of fun. I'm very glad you took us ice skating. I would've been horribly sad if I hadn't gone with you."

"And did you have fun, deartháir?"

"Of course. I just wish I was a good skater like you. Did you have a good time?"

"Yes!" Kathy's eyes turn downcast and her next sentence is nearly a whisper in Irish, "I wish Mommy could've come with us."

"One day, we'll have her come," Angel replies gently, "we'll have skates picked out and everything."

Jenny speaks up, having picked up on what Kathy said. "I bet by then, you'll be an excellent skater and you'll be able to do all sorts of tricks, like spins and jumps. When your mom comes, she'll be extremely impressed."

Kathy perks up. "Really?"

"We're all very sure," Giles nods, "You're the best skater out of all of us…you could join the Olympics someday."

"The Olymics?" Kathy cocks her head quizzically, "What's that?"

Giles launches into a detailed explanation to an enraptured Kathy, whose eyes grow wider with awe at every sentence he utters. Angel can tell this is about to launch his little sister into a whole new phase of watching Nancy Kerrigan tapes and begging for clean white figure skates.

The Police blares from speakers hung above. Christmas lights twinkle around the rink. The warm and lively chatter from other people linger, putting together a pretty picture. It's been a good day - they've come far and few, but more often for Angel nowadays.

They're all just been missing one constant that could make it better.

Buffy's already on the porch when she makes out Angel's silhouette in the distance. She's been sitting outside for fifteen minutes, even though she knows the walk from Giles's house takes a while. But when Angel called and asked if they could talk, she knew something was up. Maybe it was his mom, or more bad news in general, but at least he wouldn't be breaking her heart any further.

Once he gets closer and her house lights illuminate his figure, she adjusts her thick sweater and wiggles in her seat, trying to pretend like she hasn't been out there all that long. He smiles at her, tentative and emanating warmth, standing a safe distance away.

"Hey."

"Hi," her voice comes out raspy and she hastily clears her throat, "You can sit down if you want."

"Okay. Um, yeah. Sure," Angel sits down in the chair beside her, glancing at the window, "Is your mom home?"

"She's out running errands, she'll probably be home in half an hour."

"How was your winter break?"

"Good! Aspen was freezing, but pretty. I'm not exactly a pro at snowboarding, skiing is more my forte. My mom made this really great pumpkin pie, my aunt has a great recipe - how were the holidays for you?"

"Different, but still good. We went ice skating, decorated gingerbread, watched a bunch of Christmas movies. Kathy is obsessed with skating now, Giles and Jenny are thinking of signing her up for lessons. And we're gonna find out the verdict for my mom's hearing in a couple weeks."

"That's something! It's not great news, but you know, you guys won't be stuck in limbo any longer."

"Yeah," he nods, "I know the decision probably won't be a good one - but there'll be one anyway. I, um, I wanted to talk about something else."

"Okay. What's up?"

Angel sucks in a deep breath, hands clasped over his knees. "I made a mistake."

Buffy's breath catches but somehow she manages to reply. "With what?"

"Ending things between us."

Buffy can admit she's imagined this scenario countless times. Admittedly, she pictured Angel begging on his knees or them arguing dramatically in the midst of a rainstorm, but she didn't expect any of it to come true. The reality unfolding now is more ordinary yet far more terrifying than she could have ever come up with.

"And - where was this decision, I don't know, a week ago? Two weeks? Before winter break? Why now?"

"I needed to figure out a lot of things for myself. I needed to learn how to have faith in myself. I thought I could fix everything, but the truth is, I can't, and I shouldn't have thought sacrificing my happiness was the way to do it. I've been so used to taking care of everyone else that I never gave enough thought to what I wanted."

"And what does this have to do with me? I mean-"

"I love you," he blurts out, face painfully open and vulnerable and tender, "I'm in love with you. I want to be with you, Buffy."

"I..."

"I know I can't make up for how badly I hurt you and you are under no obligation to forgive me - but if there was even a chance, I'd do anything. Anything at all. I," he looks down briefly, jaw clenched, "I just wanted you to know."

"Angel," it feels like her heart is breaking all over again, except for different reasons, "what - what do you want me to say to that?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all, really, you don't need to do anything. Just. If you - you know where to find me if you want to be with me, too. But I won't bother you anymore. Goodnight, Buffy"

Angel manages a small smile, his eyes watery before he gets up and walks away, his form melding in with the dark.

The door creaks. Angel looks up from his spot on the floor, back against his bed with graphite pencils scattered around him in a circle. He finds no answer and returns to what he was doing. The door groans again and this time when he looks, Kathy's head is peeking into the room.

"I can't fall asleep," she whispers, "my body wants to stay up."

"More like your mind wants to stay up," he corrects her and gets up, letting her into the room, "What can I do to help?"

She gives him doe eyes. "Can I sleep in your room?"

"You have to sleep in your own room. You're a big girl," he picks her up and she wraps her arms around him as they walk to the recently converted bedroom that Kathy's been staying in.

"Okaaay, then can you stay in my room until I fall asleep? It'll help me sleep better. Promise."

He puts her down in bed and she gazes at him expectantly. He sighs and relents. "Okay. As long as you promise you'll go to sleep."

She smiles eagerly and nods as he helps tuck her into bed and slides down to the floor against the wooden frame of the bed. Angel closes his eyes and leans against the mattress, today's events washing over him. Buffy's thick wool sweater and messy ponytail. The look on her face when he admitted he loves her. Leaving with - not so much regret, but a sinking feeling that he yet again messed up his chance.

Any possibility at becoming friends again is clearly broken. That was the only mistake Angel could see; never getting to see Buffy's smile, no chance to hear about her day or make her laugh, anything was better than nothing. But there was no pretending that he hadn't done enough damage. Trust isn't easy - and sometimes, neither is forgiveness. He said what he wanted to say, and she listened. Maybe that's all he can ask for right now. It could be all he would ever get and he had to make his peace with that. He would. But right now everything still feels too raw and painful and Angel can't do anything but sit in it.

Eventually, Kathy's breathing slows down enough that he can tell she's finally asleep and he creeps out to the kitchen. He's anticipating a sleepless night and he doesn't plan to starve through it.

Buffy knocks on the door briskly, waiting for someone to get the door. When no one comes, she knocks again more insistently, nearly banging on the worn wood.

The door opens a couple moments later, Giles squinting through his glasses, dressed in a ratty grey shirt and red plaid shorts. "Buffy?"

"Hey, Giles. Is Angel here?"

"It's one in the morning," he replies incredulously.

"Could I just talk with Angel? I really need to see him."

"Alright," Giles relents reluctantly after a moment of intense frowning and utter disbelief, "Come in, I'll wake him first."

Buffy steps inside, a single lamp on and she waits as Giles disappears down a hallway. She can hear the quiet exchange of murmured voices, floorboards creaking and she wraps her fleece jacket closer around herself.

Giles reappears, face somewhat pinched and he gestures down the hall. "Angel's in there. You have ten minutes before you have to go. I won't tell your mother, but I trust you'll go straight home after this."

"Of course, promise," Buffy nods, "Thanks, Giles."

He nods, still a little miffed and she slides past him down the dark hallway. She finds a door open on the left and enters to find Angel sitting up in bed, sketchbook on his bed with graphite pencils and he doesn't look nearly as sleepy as Giles.

"Hi."

"I couldn't sleep," Buffy exclaims, shifting from foot to foot.

"Yeah," he chuckles weakly, gesturing to his sketchbook, "I couldn't really either. So…"

She manages to find her voice. "Did you mean it?"

"I did. Every single word."

"Even the part where you said you love me?"

Angel softens, his expression earnest and eyes buttery-soft. "I do love you."

"You broke my fucking heart, you know, and right when I'm finally starting to move on, you swoop right back in. I don't know if I can take being hurt again."

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry and I know that doesn't change what happened, but if you give me another chance, I'll fight for us. I'll fight with everything I have to never give up on our future together and if someone's heart might break again, I'm gonna do my best to make sure it's mine."

Tears sting Buffy's eyes and she lets out a watery laugh. "Damn you, Angel."

She moves in front of him, throwing her arms around his shoulder as his hands latch around her waist. She buries her face in his hair, breathing in his smell and blinking away tears. God, she's missed him so much and she's never felt such deep relief in her life. She thinks maybe she never will.

"I'm sorry," Angel murmurs into the fabric of her coat, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you. I'm sorry, I love you…"

"And don't you forget that."

"Never," she feels his head tilt up, and she meets his gaze, her hands clutching the sides of his face, "Forgive me?"

She knows this is about more than that. It's a question of building back up trust, faith, and connection. He's asking if they can repair what's been broken.

"Always."

Angel watches the judge take a breath and open his mouth. Buffy's hand provides a steady anchor, their hands are intertwined in his lap, helping calm his nerves even if he knows what's coming.

"The court finds the defendant, Moira Siobhan Maher, guilty on three counts of armed robbery and one count of drug possession. The defendant is sentenced to seven years' imprisonment to date from January 14 1998. It is ordered that she be eligible to apply for parole after serving five years of this sentence. It is ordered that the defendant's name be placed on the register kept pursuant to the…"

It's like the room goes underwater after that and everything sounds muted in his head, words floating around that he can't absorb. He knew this was coming. He heard from Jenny, Giles, their court-appointed lawyer, he read countless archives on similar cases and the verdicts they received. He's been waiting for this for weeks. Still, hearing it feels like being sucker-punched, like someone's just stabbed him and he's left clutching at the wound.

Kathy's insistent tapping on his shoulder rouses him and he looks down on her anxious face. "Does this mean Mama's going away?"

His throat feels bloated and scratchy, like it might close on him. Five years until parole. Five years from now, Kathy will be eleven. Tall and knobby-kneed, with real opinions and vivid curiosity about the world and the ability to understand the truth about their family.

"Yes."

Moira rises as a court officer walks to cuff her. She turns to the side, meeting Angel's eyes and they share a look that says a thousand words, love the most constant. But nothing can change what's happening. Jenny's holding Kathy, whispering in her ear and Giles watches with a somber expression.

Everyone stands as the judge exits the room and Moira is taken away, about to be transferred to a prison in Sacramento. People move out of the room and whispers gradually rise. There is no proper goodbye, no embrace or words exchanged to soften this blow. The lack of closure makes it feel all the more cruel, having to be ripped apart like this.

Jenny and Giles eventually stand, the latter carrying Kathy in his arms. "We're gonna go outside."

Angel can't seem to form any words, just staring silently at the chair where his mother was sitting. Buffy speaks up. "We'll be out in a few."

They nod before retreating, leaving the two of them in the courtroom. Buffy's thumb is rubbing circles into Angel's skin. A couple cars honk in the distance. He knows his mom wasn't perfect by any means - but she was always there. When he was a kid, years before Kathy was born, his mom was all he had. And now, he won't watch her walk out of prison until he's at least twenty-three.

Five years.

"You know, my mom chose the name Angel for me? Her parents were very religious, and even if they didn't approve of her marriage, she always said having me was a blessing. It was the closest she ever felt to God. Liam - I dropped that name when I came here, my dad thought of it, but it - it never felt right to me. And I knew this was coming, I knew she was going to prison, it's just - it really happened. And I still wasn't ready."

"I don't know that someone can ever be ready for something like this. In some ways, you still don't see it coming, but it doesn't define you, or your mom. We're just stuck in the super shitty part right now."

Angel meets Buffy's tender gaze, adjusting his grip on her hands. "Thank you for being here."

"Where else would I be?" she bumps her head against his, "I'm staying with you. Whatever you need."

Angel shifts, facing Buffy and she lets him fall into his arms. His hands wrap around her, curling into the fabric of her navy sweater and he rests his head against her shoulder, nestled under her jaw. Her hands slide around his back and hold his cheek, the two of them sitting together in comfortable silence.

Rain hammers down on the streets of Sunnydale, painting the sky grey and the rainfall drowns out any other noise. On Revello Drive, Buffy is running home, her clothes drenched and her hair is slick against the back of her neck. Angel is beside her, his hand holding hers, clothes stuck to his skin and they laugh delightedly as they make it to her house, running up the steps.

"Come on, hurry up, come on…"

"I'm unlocking it, I swear!" Buffy protests, unlocking her front door and they rush inside. "Mom! You home?" There's no response and she relaxes, turning to Angel and skims a hand through his hair. "You're soaking wet."

"So are you," he holds her cheek, brushing away raindrops with a tender smile, "You're shivering. You should change."

"Hey, so should you. You probably left some clothes here, c'mon."

They head upstairs and into Buffy's room, where she digs through her closet to find Angel some clothes; she has to hide his things in case her mom ever comes in to put away anything, to spare herself a potential grounding and several long-winded lectures.

"Mission accomplished," she passes him a white shirt with grey sweats before taking out cargo pants, a black top and blue sweater for herself. He retreats to the washroom to change as she does the same before jumping into bed, wrapping blankets around herself to warm up. Angel comes back into the room and chuckles at the sight of her. "What?"

"You look very adorable," he climbs halfway on top of her, smiling fondly and she makes a face.

"Adorable? I don't want to look adorable," Buffy protests with a slight pout.

"Too bad," he murmurs, giving her a gentle kiss and his fingers rubs strands of her hair together. She feels nice and warm and dulcet inside, like all the good things in life are bottled in this room. "You look good like this."

"Yeah," a laugh bubbles in her chest, "I look good squashed like this? Like some baby in a crib?"

"Yeah, you look good," he laughs along with her, "you look happy. That's when you look best. Thank you for being here. For choosing to be with me again."

"Oh, Angel, come on, we've had this conversation already, it's not necessary-"

"But I still want to say it, because I love you and you should know how important you are. It means so much that you're here - more than I can say."

All Buffy finds is the truth in his eyes. "I love you, too."

Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated!