My name is Rachel, and I was ready to kill whoever was knocking on my door at seven in the morning.
The fact that I saw Marco standing there when I looked through the peephole did nothing to change that stance.
The door opened quickly enough that he started to fall forward, like I'd made a little vacuum in the air pressure with the motion, and I stared daggers at him when I asked, "What the fuck do you want, Marco?"
"I kissed Jake last night."
Shit. I opened the door wider and moved aside. "Come on in." He did just that, shuffling in with a naked anxiousness that made me worried. Marco looked crushed.
My dorm room is a lot earlier to maneuver in than others I know, since I don't stuff mine full of crap I don't need. My closet might be a bit overstuffed full of outfits, but I make do with the resources available to me.
We each took a chair at the little table I had flush against one wall, Marco slumping onto his seat, head coming to rest in his crossed arms, while I sat with my back straight, trying to think about what I could possibly say.
It wasn't like none of us in the group had ever dated each other. Or...are currently dating each other. We all went through puberty together, and that led to some experimenting.
Hell, looking at the way Marco's wavy dark hair splayed around his pretty face, I couldn't deny Marco was cute. Annoying as fuck, and he and I didn't work well romantically, but cute.
But...well, this was Jake and Marco. This was different.
Since he didn't seem interested in talking, something I otherwise would have lauded as a miracle, I realized I had to speak up. "What happened, exactly?"
He groaned, turned his head so one of his eyes could meet mine. "A few days ago, Jake said this other guy in our Creative Writing class was 'cute'." He talked about the event as though it was the prelude to his own destruction.
Which...it kinda was, maybe. I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Holy shit, Marco. Please do not tell me that was what convinced you to..."
"Yeah, it was." He laughed, but the sound had even less humor in it than when he usually faked them. "Guess you've been right all along, I am a total idiot." He raised his head up a little, then thunked it back down into the table, forehead first.
Annoyed, I reached over and flicked his ear. "Hey. Knock that shit out."
This time, he actually managed to raise his head all the way up, though it was still sitting in his arms, before sticking his tongue out at me.
Ignoring the childish antics, I pressed on, "Okay, so, based on that absolute bullshit reasoning, you decided to confess your feelings?" I almost wanted to compare it to when my girlfriend came out to me, but...well, I already knew how she felt about me. I just hadn't been sure that she was my girlfriend at the time.
"Let me tell the story, Xena, I was actually there." I rolled my eyes at the old nickname, but let him continue uninterrupted, like a civilized person. I could pretend I was one of those, when I felt like it. "Anyway, yeah, that's when I started planning. Thing is, I was still too scared to actually do anything, so...I got something to grease the wheels."
"What?"
"Beer."
I couldn't help myself. The laugh started small, just a quick exhalation of air, but it grew into a rumbling belly laugh that refused to stop, even when I started crying, even when it started hurting. Every time I thought it was going to end, I saw Marco's annoyed expression, and it hit me again at full force.
When it finally started to wind down, Marco grumbled, "It's not that funny."
"Marco, you got drunk so you could tell my cousin you think he's hot. That's pretty fucking funny."
He mumbled something under his breath.
"What was that?"
"I didn't...I didn't tell him I like him."
Blinking slowly, I started to turn over what that meant. "Did you just...?"
"Kiss him and run away? Yes."
I winced. "How'd he react?"
Marco shrugged at the question. "Could have been worse. Could have been better. I grabbed a soda from the dorm vending machine, waited until he was gone, and then returned to my lair." When he saw how I was looking at him, his cute face scrunched up in annoyance. "Rachel, please. If I wanted pity, I'd have gone to Cassie."
"See, I thought you came to me because we're rooming on the same campus, and you don't have a car to get to Cassie's place." The joke didn't seem to affect him. "Seriously, you can't...I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure Jake is straight." It wasn't like I'd ever talked to him about that kind of thing, but he did ask me a lot of confused questions whenever queer stuff of any variety came up, Tobias coming out included.
To my surprise, Marco actually flinched when I said that. "Yeah, I..." He let out a long sigh. "...I didn't think about this at first, but part of me has been getting scared that he is? Not like...him rejecting me. I'm still ready for that. But...what if he's straight, but he likes me anyway, because I'm not a-"
"No." The anger and steel in my voice seemed to shake him out of his daze a little. "Marco, you are a guy. A gross, annoying, perpetually horny guy. Do not pretend that Jake thinks otherwise. My cousin has a lot of faults, but misgendering you isn't one of them, and never has been."
Tears stood out in the corners of Marco's eyes for a second, before he brushed them away with the sleeve of his hoodie. "Thanks, Xena. You're right, I'm worrying over nothing, like usual."
Standing up, I started getting ready, which was easy since I'd been halfway there when Marco had started knocking. "C'mon, I've got some time before my first class, I'm buying you coffee." There was no way I could do anything less than that, not with a clean conscience.
He followed me as I threw on a cardigan and tidied up my hair in the mirror. "Really, Rachel? You never buy me anything."
"That's because you only ever ask me for bad video games and worse clothes." From there, we quipped a little back and forth, the usual verbal sparring he and I engaged in. Something familiar.
Before we left, I took out my phone. No messages from Jake, but he didn't have any classes until 11, so he'd probably be asleep. Without giving away the whole game, since it was Marco's secret to tell, I shot a few messages around to the others of the group, letting them know some drama was afoot, and that we should keep each other updated if anything happens with Marco or Jake.
I didn't expect to get a message back so quickly, and definitely not from my girlfriend.
LadyHawk#3356 Today at 7:26am: Pretty sure I know what's up.
BirdHunter#2486 Today at 7:26am: either you're a mind-reader or you've become so smart you can see the future
LadyHawk#3356 Today at 7:27am: Wrong and wrong. Sorry, sweetie.
LadyHawk#3356 Today at 7:27am: I know because Jake is at my place, freaking out.