Harleking31: Ah, I'm not an isekai critic
I'm an isekai racoon. I will literally jump into the isekai trash can for more content
Would they celebrate Thanksgiving in Japan?
[This message has been truncated due to length]
Re: Kentucky Fried Chicken makes a ton of money in Japan off of Thanksgiving. Gotta love that capitalism~ And of course, you just know they slap All Might faces on those buckets each year.
As for Torino bringing Recovery Girl instead of Toshinori, from his perspective, "Take-chan" doesn't have that "special something" that'd make him a great Symbol of Peace and successor to All Might; he doesn't give a shit about the current station, in fact, Takei has quite vocally stated how-harmful it is to society in general. Torino, if anything, is trying to "wear him down" to maybe get a new vessel for [One for All] lined up in case Toshinori's too pig-headed to find someone, but if that doesn't pan out, he's just using my SI as a punching bag to keep himself "mentally engaged" so he doesn't go completely senile before All Might's successor appears.
Stripperella is American, but I, despite Reincarnating, still have memories of niche American media.
*AHA*
"You know, I was a little skeptical at the name, but damn if the kid doesn't know how to make a fine sandwich~" Kuroko grinned as she and the rest of Mon Squad bit happily into the 'Moist Makers' Take-chan had packed for them the next time they went to work following their food comas; or, "The Itis" as their young ward called it.
They had no idea what "The Itis" even was, but the well-spoken kid said all sorts of weird anachronistic crap…
"Heh. I'll say~" Zombina grinned. "Who knew that turkey, stuffing, a slice of gravy-soaked bread, and cranberry sauce between two slices of other bread could be so good?"
"At first I thought he was full of it when he said our co-workers might steal this, but I admit, if this weren't my lunch, and I knew how-good it was, I'd pinch it~" Doppel grinned.
"Don't you think we're taking advantage of him?" Manako questioned worriedly, but was nonetheless merrily eating her own 'Moist Maker'.
"I thought you could only 'take advantage of' a boy his age by venting your sexual frustrations on him like in those creepy fanfics on the internet," Tio hummed with a tilt of her head, the others choking on their sandwiches before pounding it down.
"You're really lucky there's no dudes in our agency…" Zombina grumbled, she and the others flushed slightly at what had come out of Tio's mouth, while the ogress Mutant herself was completely nonplussed.
"Damn ass-hammered SHIT!"
"What?!" the rest of Mon Squad cried as Kuroko swore out of nowhere.
"Benefits! Oh, I forgot to spend the balance in our goddamn flex account!"
Manako inquired- "Do you mean date of employment or-"
"Calendar yearrrr!"
"Ouch," Zombina winced.
"Well that's just leaving money on the table. How did you forget that?" Manako blinked.
"Maybe she was too busy fantasizing about playing 'dirty tonsil tennis' with 'Kayama-sama'~" Doppel grinned making air-quotes.
"That is not how you found the two of us and you know it!" Kuroko cried with a massive blush on her face.
"How'd we get from sandwiches to flex accounts to naughty sexcapades?" Tio asked sweetly.
"Because no-one here goes to industry-suggested therapy…" Manako sighed.
"WAIT…! I think I have an idea~!"
"Oh dear, she's getting that look again…" Doppel sighed, the look on Kuroko's face the one she usually had when she came up with a new way to get out of doing work the old-fashioned way…
*AHA*
A few mornings later…
*POP*POP-POP!*
"Happy birthday!" everyone cheered, party poppers scattering confetti and streamers into my hair as I was met with smiling faces.
"That's today?"
And what a coincidence it was that Takehiko Tokei and I had the same date of birth. Maybe that's why I reincarnated into his body?
Not that I could think of any other reason apart from it being completely random. The universe loved patterns and coincidence, after all.
"Mouuu! No little kid should forget their own birthday!" Tio pouted cutely, a party hat placed atop the point of her horn.
"Come on, we made you your favorite! Chocolate chip pancakes with strawberries and lots of syrup!" Zombina grinned.
Albeit, she and the others too had made it one of their favorite breakfast foods after they'd caught me making it for myself.
"Shouldn't strawberries be super out-of-season right now?" I blinked as I looked out the window, a bit of snow on the buildings in the distance.
"Normally they are, but not if you buy from Black Lily," Manako answered.
"Ah yes, the Black Lily Advance Materials Laboratory..."
A company running in conjunction, but separately, from the government that provided certain Quirk users with food, board, and employment in exchange for the opportunity to study products uniquely born from individual Quirks. Products like "Pan Wool", "Arachne Spider Silk", "Honey Bees Royal Jelly", and so-on. Some products get re-sold on the wholesale market, while others instead enter into scientific research. In fact, a number of recent advancements in metallurgy were due to the studying of Quirk-borne metallic alloys produced by human and even animal bodies. Not to mention that "Arachne Spider Silk" was a much-coveted material for Support Companies wanting to produce the best possible Hero Costumes due to its tensile strength and elasticity.
The whole thing was still considered "controversial" with products like "Minotaur Milk" and "Harpy Eggs" floating around, but two-hundred years later, and only the same kind of idiots who supported PETA still raised any sort of stink of what Black Lily was -and had-been for two-hundred-ish years- doing.
Sure, what Black Lily was doing could be considered quote/unquote "exploitative" when they brokered the immigration of persons with rare and/or unusual Quirks from overseas… But how was what people did with their Quirks any different from people donating blood, or plasma, or hair, or even sperm in exchange for monetary compensation?
Hell, day jobs and capitalism in general, were by their very nature "exploitative".
"He's making that face again." Kuroko hummed.
"You think he just doesn't notice?" Zombina added.
"You put some glasses on him and he'd have his choice of all the nerd girls in the library~" Doppel grinned.
"You know I can still hear you, right?" I asked while digging into my breakfast.
Sure, maybe these strawberries were grown from a person's body because of their Quirk, but how was eating these any different from eating eggs harvested from chickens, or using wool shorn from sheep, or suckling a baby on the milk of a wet nurse?
I had no way of knowing at-present if Black Lily and its contemporaries offered enough money for a person to base their livelihoods off of it, but given people could still make a living as content providers on forums like YouTube… I was thankful there were some alternatives out there for people with useful Quirks that weren't quite "useful-enough" to become a Hero, than just going to straight-up villainy.
"What do you think goes through his head when he makes that face?" Tio inquired cutely.
"Cosmic nihilism mostly. How nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, and we're all going to die."
By their dumbstruck faces, I'd bought myself at least five minutes to eat my breakfast in peace.
Ten if they got into an internal debate about whether or not I was actually brain damaged~
Jury was still out on that one.
*AHA*
"You don't have to cup your hands over my eyes. I can keep them shut on my own volition," I replied after breakfast that morning as I found myself led to the ground floor and out of the building, Doppel in her high school girl form doing the aforementioned cupping.
"Aw, but where's the fun in that~?" Kuroko grinned.
"Please bear with us. It'll be well worth it, I promise," Manako hummed.
"If you say so."
The chill of winter air hitting my bundled-up skin as we left the apartment building, by the feel of concrete under my feet, we were being turned toward the private lot adjacent to the building. A minute later Doppel's hands pulled away from my gaze.
"Happy twelfth birthday!" the whole of Mon Squad cheered, my eyes taking a moment to adjust to the light.
"You got me… a sports bike?"
"Not just any sports bike. A Hero-Grade sports bike~" Kuroko grinned. "Twelve-speeds, high-powered lighting for front and rear, built-in radio, polychromatic coating you can control with your smartphone, hidden GPS tracker, hydrophobic anti-dirt and anti-scratch coating, damage-resistant tires, and highly collapsible frame~ If Heroes rode bikes to and from work, this is what they'd ride~"
" . . . Is this even legal?"
"I mean, it's basically illegal to use your Quirk without a license, but there aren't any laws against owning Support Items," Zombina shrugged.
"Detnerat does good work~" Doppel grinned.
"So… A 'Support Bike'…?"
"In as many words," Doppel hummed.
"The frame is fully adjustable too, so you'll never need another bike in your entire life~" Kuroko grinned. "Now go on, give her a whirl~" she said holding up a sleek black helmet, a Mon Squad insignia pressed into the front.
" . . . You're up to something, I just know it. And I'm not hopping on that thing until you tell me what."
" . . . "
" . . . "
" . . . "
" . . . "
" . . . Our agency's flex account doesn't carry over to the next calendar year."
" . . . Was this a legally-made acquisition?"
"Oh yes, it was all above board," Manako nodded.
" . . . Alright fine… Thank you for the bike. I'll be sure to cherish it," I say taking the helmet.
"Wait, do you even remember how to ride a bike?" Zombina asked. "You were in the 'vegetable patch' for a while, I mean."
" . . . "
*AHA*
As it turns out, yes, knowing how to ride a bike is something that carries over even after you Reincarnate with a capital 'R'.
That or Takehiko Tokei did in fact know how to ride a bike before I got behind the wheel, and we just had the same amount of "equilibrium"...
Anywho, it had been ages since I'd last ridden a bike, and even though my legs were way shorter, I had to admit… this was great fun.
One thing I was definitely going to use this second chance for was staying in better shape, starting with riding my bike to school in the spring. Maybe make some more friends. Meet myself a nice girl…
One thing at a time. I still had to make it past Christmas without dying horribly. A very real possibility since Christmas was also a time of year for "Instant Villains" to suddenly appear out of sheer loneliness and/or crippling depression.
The more things change, the more they stay the same…
"Sooo… How does it handle?" Manako asked riding a more-pedestrian-looking bike beside me.
Given her stature, she could be mistaken for a middle schooler…
"Like a dream," I said looking down at the matte black frame. Kuroko said I could control the coating with my phone, so I assume that's a feature Heroes make use of so their 'Support Bike' doesn't clash with their outfit.
Of course, whatever Hero arrives at a criminally-related situation on bike of all things, would not inspire confidence. And not just because they look like a bike cop on their way to a costume party.
. . . Okay maybe just because…
"Takei-kun, you think you'll be ready for school in the spring?"
"God, I hope so…"
Of course, with a functioning attention span this time around, I couldn't do any worse than before unless I literally tried.
Try to "do worse", I mean.
"Well, just don't brag about your bike too much, and I'm sure you'll be fine."
"I think living with Heroes will cause me enough trouble, thank you very much."
"Hm. Well, hopefully it's the good kind of trouble."
" . . . "
"I just jinxed you, didn't I?"
"Probably."
*CRASH!*
"Ah! My store!" a man cried as a Villain burst out of a storefront window using his Quirk.
"Um...!"
"I'll park it here. You go on ahead," I replied, Manako nodding as she unlatched a metallic briefcase from the back of her bike before unfolding it into her "Foldable Rifle" and running on ahead for a better vantage point.
*AHA*
"Geez, how many times a day can this happen?" I asked on the way home after Manako stopped her... fifth or so outbreak of criminal activity.
"Luckily, we aren't closer to Tokyo, otherwise it would've been a lot worse..." Manako said idly scratching her cheek. "And thankfully, there haven't been any more Rifts around here as of late."
"Thank god for small miracles..." I sighed. One demonic football per lifetime was more than enough, thankyouverymuch.
And as a guy who was on his second lifetime, that really meant something!
"Also... I'm sorry we couldn't give you more of a reception, so let's grab some cake for everyone on the way home."
"I don't need a big party or lots of stuff once a year to know I'm loved. Taking me in and looking out for me... That's more than enough."
" . . . You're a good boy, Takei-kun," Manako smiled, reaching over to ruffle my hair. "We might make a 'darling' out of you yet."
*AHA*
With a variety pack of cake in hand, "Support Bike" chained down with a military-grade lock, Manako and I made our way back to the penthouse apartment.
*POP*POP-POP!*
"SURPRIIIIISE!" a chorus of familiar voices cheered as I found confetti and streamers in my hair for the second time that day.
"Huh, never got one of these before," I hummed, realizing that the cake from the store was a decoy to hide the existence of the 'real cake'.
"Tch, man, you were supposed to be more bombastic," Doppel whined.
"Well I apologize if 'stoic' is my 'resting bitch face'."
"Hff… Nice to know this is what you've been teaching him."
"Can it, Donut Lord," Kuroko snapped back at the police chief's way.
"Stoicism aside, I really do appreciate the sentiment," I nodded. "Really, I mean it."
"Onii-chan! Onii-chan!" Papi beamed merrily. "Papi got you a gift! And she wrapped it herself~!"
"Hmhm~ I can tell," I returned as I stared at the lumpy mess of wrapping paper and scotch tape. The packaging was ugly as sin… but at the same time it was so beautiful… "You wanna open it together?"
"Okies!" the harpy Mutant beamed merrily. Her opposable thumbs digging into one half of the package, my fingers taking the other, the wrapping paper gave way after several seconds revealing… "It's an airbag, so Papi can takes you flying~!"
Looking over her shoulder to her dad, the man simply sighed exasperatedly with a- "What can you do?" -kind of look…
Turning my attention back to the vest in my hand, it looked like a Support Item to be sure. There was a manual taped to the front, and I would later learn that the vest was triggered by both velocity as well as proximity to the ground, deploying radial airbags capable of preventing "skydiving accidents". That they actually made stuff like this for recreational use… was as impressive as it was worrying…
"Takei-kun," Hitomi smiled, a rectangular package held in her hands, wrapped with all of her familial love. "Happy twelfth birthday. I'm glad… that you lived long-enough to see it," she said wiping a tear from her eye.
The package placed into my hands, though I was a 30-something on the inside, on the literal outside, I was still a little kid, and I couldn't help but throw my arms around her, a gesture the mono-eye happily reciprocated, the package largely forgotten.
At least, up until the tri-eye butted in, using a sleeker wrapped backage as a prybar.
"Happy birthday," 'Top-chan' glowered, standing protectively in front of Hitomi, the taller mono-eye pouting cutely.
The hind-part of my brain glowering back at her, the frontal part of it schooling my features, I took a seat in the living room and opened the two packages, the others on watch for my reaction.
The contents of the first package, the size of which apparently hasn't changed in the industry in 200+ years, was a video game box. The cover featured a fireteam of five in modern, futuristic, and retro-futuristic armor and weapons, moving through a post-apocalyptic wasteland, while in the far background was a sort of floating city. In the lower left were the words GUN GALE ONLINE, with a stylized GGO insignia in hexagonal shapes.
The second package, marginally bigger, was a variant of the AmuSphere VR Headset that store clerk tried to sell us on when Mon was getting me my phone. What made this one different was that the packaging was dominated by the allegedly-iconic visage of All Might, the words AmuSphere ULTRA! across the top, with the buzzwords "Plus Ultra VR!" and other technical specifications on the side.
"Hitomi… Mitsumi… this is really cool and all… but I don't have a gaming laptop powerful-enough to play it on…" I said looking at the list of System Requirements on the back of the GGO box.
I wasn't a computer buff, not like my brother from my previous life, but even I could tell that my tablet didn't even meet the minimum requirements to run the soft for a VRMMO like this…
"You do now~" Zombina grinned handing over what looked like a hand-me-down laptop bag with the Mon Squad's insignia on it. Undoing the latch and looking inside, I blinked as I beheld what looked like a military-grade computer, the dark green shell covered in police, swat, and even a few SDF stickers. Other than the official Mon Squad sticker in the center, there didn't appear to be any stickers from Hero Agencies; not that I cared so much about those.
"Now you can join us for our Livestreams~" Tio beamed warmly. "You could be the new mascot~!"
"Don't worry. We made sure to scrub all the 'BL' out of it," Zombina said reassuringly.
"Well… I guess a little videogaming won't hurt…" I admitted, as a part of me was curious how the real-life VR would compare to that from the anime and the lightnovels.
"Nice! We can make a video tomorrow when the game gives you your Avatar~" Doppel grinned.
"What, you mean they're randomly generated?"
"If you don't wanna shell out the ass for DLC, yeah," Kuroko shrugged.
"Ah, that's fine then. I don't mind rolling the dice or anything," I shrug.
"Onii-chan! Onii-chan! Is it cake time?" Papi asked excitedly with a pair of spoons clutched in her wing-thumbs.
"I don't see why not," I nod, setting my gifts aside. "Do you want a side, center, or corner piece?" I say looking at the non-decoy cake in question, which featured a likeness of the Mon Squad posing like a 'Tokusatsu' team, Manako with her sniper rifle, Tio with her shields, Zombina with an SMG and sawed-off, and Doppel mid-morph, with Kuroko in the middle adjusting her glasses and winking at the camera.
*AHA*
"Manako-chan, thanks for the help with his present. But… where'd you get that AmuSphere Ultra? All the stores have been sold out for months," Hitomi hummed quietly as the children ate cake.
"The Mon Squad saved a VIP's butt a while back, so we got a few units as thanks," Manako replied bashfully. "I guess he really liked our Livestream."
"Or other things~" Zombina grinned, jiggling her breasts for emphasis.
"Gotta love that capitalism~" Kuroko grinned as she drank a beer.
"Could you please not drink that around the impressionable twelve-year-old?" Hitomi pouted. "Having him become your 'young ward' was a hard-enough sell as it was."
"Please. Kid's a stiff. He'll probably be straight-laced 'til the day he dies."
"Not to mention he already threw a blanket over her and Kayama after Thanksgiving. He's already been 'influenced'~" Doppel grinned, ever the hellraiser and grinning broader as Hitomi glowered at Kuroko.
"Please don't shoot a laser out of that eye…"
*AHA*
"Awwww… That's so sweet~" Sigmund sighed, dabbing at his eye with an oil rag.
"It is the thought that counts…" Clank nodded.
"You have to say this for our own 'Reincarnation Story'. He's certainly never boring."
"Still, I worry that succumbing to these voyeuristic tendencies will impede the work we do here."
"Hey, come on, man. Ratchet's heirs have the galaxy well under control. Heck, we barely get a serious incursion once a century anymore."
"Hrmmmm…" Clank hummed, idly rubbing his chin and wondered what lay in wait for the first 'Transmigrator' he created with his allegedly 'god-like power'.
*AHA*
AN:
Yes, they slapped All Might's face on a VR Headset, big whoop, wanna fight about it?