The winner takes it all
Chapter 7
Lisbon's POV
It's cold. Half-awake, she huddles closer to the heat source in front of her. Her cold skin makes full contact with warm skin and she remembers the owner of that radiating heat is Jane. She hadn't been able to sleep well after making love with him. She kept waking up with a start, her heart racing. It felt like she hadn't really slept at all, but she must have because somehow the comforter was off the bed with only the thin sheet covering them, which wasn't enough for her in her air-conditioned house.
It was getting lighter in her room too, so it must be around 6 am, she estimated. This was the time she usually got up for her morning jog before work. Jane was on his side, his back facing her and all she could do was stare, motionless. She couldn't process the change that happened between them last night. She wanted to touch him, cuddle him but didn't want to wake him until she figured out what she was feeling right now. She thought her doubts about his feelings for her would disappear after having sex with him, that she would believe his words but it didn't have the effect she'd hoped.
She reached out and gently touched one of the curls near his neck. She'd stared at this curl often over the years and it never entered her mind that they would someday become lovers.
They were friends; not in the usual 'share your feelings, support each other' type but more like they'd been through hell and back together and knew each other's habits and non-verbal communications from being in such close proximity for so many years. But they were essentially still strangers in a way; she knew all his quirks, mannerisms, moods, what he liked to eat, the type of driver he was, his body language... but she didn't truly know him. He wore a mask most of the time and she still wasn't quite sure who was the real Patrick Jane. She estimated that she knew as much about his life now as she did the first day she got the Red John case.
He didn't share his hopes or dreams; she always thought that it was because he didn't have any because of his trauma. He always appeared to live in the moment. He also kept his thoughts to himself unless absolutely necessary. If he confided in her, his sharing always had a purpose, a cost; he was doing it to achieve a goal. Jane only gave so he could receive.
During the time they were separated, she'd had time to reflect on her time at the CBI working with him and she'd come to the conclusion that he had been playing a long con on her since the day he entered her offices starting with the lost widower/father act that fooled Minelli and eventually her, hook, line and sinker to get access to the Red John files. She spent a long time trying to figure out what had been real if anything at all. Then the letters started arriving and she found that she couldn't let him go. When he came back, she thought that he would be different; there weren't any more reasons to con her, to manipulate her, they were equals at work and Red John was dead. But as the days turned into weeks then into months, she saw no change in him. She'd concluded that there wasn't more... this aloof, self-serving, mischievous, devil-may-care persona was his true identity or at least, the only one he was willing to show her and the rest of the world.
She twirled the curl around her finger and released it. There was also another issue between them that she didn't know how to fix. She never shared her true self with him either; she wasn't a trusting person to begin with and it didn't take her long to figure out back then that anything she shared with him would be used against her. She knew that he snooped in her personal life and studied her closely all those years so he could manipulate her; he was a con man, it was in his DNA to do so. He did the same with everyone around him, it's what made him so good at catching criminals.
Jane always said she was an open book and claimed to know her secrets. She's sure that he thought he had her pegged and maybe he did in some things. He could read her expressions easily but that wasn't the same as knowing her. Being guarded came naturally to her and her instinct to protect herself from him was as strong in this very moment as it had been before they made love and sadly, he hadn't really given her any reason to change that. The last few days he hadn't asked her once what she wanted which indicated to her that her needs didn't matter or he thought he knew what her needs were already. Neither was a good conclusion.
She needed to think. She rolled out of bed quietly, keeping her eyes on him to see if he stirred. Something caught on her foot on her way to the bathroom; she tripped and almost crashed to the floor as she desperately reached out for a surface to break her fall. Her shoulder hit the frame of the bathroom door with a thud. Her eyes darted to Jane to see if she woke him but he didn't move. She looked down in anger at the offending object that almost caused her to wake up Jane before she could make her escape. It was his duffle bag and the contents had spilled to the floor. She bent down to put his things back inside when her hand made contact with a familiar item in a baggy... it was his toothbrush with a tube of toothpaste.
She marched into the bathroom and slapped it on her vanity in plain sight. He'd been playing games with her last night! It's like he couldn't help himself. She took a few measured breaths, walked back into her bedroom, grabbed her workout clothes, and headed out for her jog.
Jane's POV
He flipped the scrambled eggs in the pan to make sure they were cooked through, humming to himself. Although he woke up alone this morning, he was in a great mood. He'd been surprised that he'd slept so heavily and hadn't noticed her departure. He'd also been disappointed that she wasn't there to snuggle with when he woke up but he decided to not dwell on it. A small voice inside him was telling him that there was something more to the reason he woke up alone, but he didn't want to think about it unless he had to.
He checked his watch; it was almost 7:30 am and soon it would be time to head into work. The toasts popped and he place them on a plate. He was famished after his nocturnal activities last night. The front door opened; he congratulated himself on guessing correctly, she had been out for a jog. Her hair was tied back, she was wearing her ear pods with her phone strapped to her arm and he could tell she'd worked out hard because she had visible sweat showing on her tank top.
"Good morning, sunshine," he said in an upbeat tone as he walked towards her eager to see her again.
Their eyes made contact, but she didn't smile, her eyes narrowed instead. She was still mad about the toothbrush he surmised. He didn't miss her passive-aggressive act when he entered her washroom to get ready earlier. The only reason he had asked to borrow her toothbrush last night was that he'd wanted to distract her, take her focus off her nerves, and to be truthful, his own nerves too.
He smiled at her knowing it would piss her off more but was unable to help himself. She was too adorable when angry.
"I made eggs if you're hungry."
"No. I'm not hungry."
She placed a hand on her hip. He braced himself.
"Why Jane? Just tell me why."
He scanned her face, taking in her cues.
"You needed distracting."
"No, I didn't!"
"My mistake," he conceded.
She wanted to argue it seemed but he was in too much of a great mood to participate.
"So that's it?"
"You asked why, I gave you an answer. What more is there?"
"You're an ass!"
He shrugged and rolled his eyes in frustration. Before he knew it, she had marched towards the stairs.
"Teresa, c'mon on. Don't be mad."
He walked up to her, his eyes never leaving hers, taking her by the wrist to stop her from fleeing.
"I missed you this morning."
Her eyes softened a bit and he was happy to have this new weapon in his arsenal to sway her. She had a forgiving heart but her need for the physical provided him with much stronger ammunition.
"I wanted to wake up with you... hold you... kiss you," he said softly.
He saw her anger dissipate quickly with his words and he triumphed inside. He leaned in to kiss her but she flinched away. He could tell by the look on her face that she hadn't expected him to try to kiss her. He was surprised that she pulled away and he tried to not let the disappointment show on his face.
"Sorry," she muttered, shaking her head. "I- I didn't brush my teeth yet."
She showed him a toothbrush in her hand. By the looks of it, she retrieved it from her go-bag in her car.
"It's okay," he responded.
He wanted to say more but decided against it.
"I'll just go get ready."
"Okay."
He tried to hide his disappointment but failed this time. Something was obviously wrong and it had nothing to do with the toothbrush.
She was mounting the stairs and he was halfway back to the kitchen when he heard her speak again.
"Jane?"
He turned at the sound of her voice.
"I'd eat a toast with jam if you have a chance to make it. I won't be long."
She smiled uncertainly and he returned her smile. Her smile got brighter in response and he headed back into the kitchen to eat and make her some toast.
A half an hour later...
He was spreading the jam on her toast when she appeared in the kitchen, dressed in her usual attire for work. He turned and handed her the plate with her breakfast.
"You look beautiful," he said, leaning his backside against the counter and gripping it with both hands.
"I look the same way I look every day, Jane."
"And that's beautiful."
She gave him a look.
"You don't have to start complimenting me just because..." she trailed off, picking at her toast.
"Do you doubt my sincerity?"
"No... I don't know. We've known each other a long time and now suddenly… all this," she said gesturing between them.
He waited for her to finish her thought.
"Thank you," she said suddenly. "For the toasts."
She was deflecting.
"You're welcome."
"I'm sorry about earlier. When you tried to kiss me... I- I..." he could see she was searching for her words. "I guess this thing between us will need some getting used to."
"It's okay, really."
"No... you don't understand," she insisted strongly.
He frowned at her, his heart-stopping, concerned with where she was going with this conversation; she was holding her breath.
"Teresa-"
"No. Let me finish... I want you to kiss me," she said quickly, casting her eyes to her toasts and back at him. "I like it. I mean... if you want to kiss me, feel free to do so anytime you like. Not at the office... oh god... this apology sounded so much better in my head."
Her big doe eyes were fixed on him, her pouty lips set in a line.
"I want to kiss you all the time," he confessed, unable to take his eyes off her lips for a few moments.
"You do?"
"Hm, hm."
"So, what you waiting for then?" she challenged.
He took her plate, placed it on the counter, and gave her a soft kiss. He was gentle but made sure to savor her lips. When he pulled back, her eyes were closed. She opened them slowly and smiled brightly.
"That's a good kiss."
"Just good?" he teased.
"Maybe you should try again," she teased back.
He pulled her flush against him this time, her eyes popping in surprise. He was happy, he thought as he gazed into her twinkling eyes. He'd been worried about how he would feel participating in a romantic relationship; if it would stir up guilty feelings. He'd been alone for so long that he forgot what it felt like sharing little moments like this with someone he loved.
He leaned in slowly and captured her mouth again. Teasing her lips with his, tasting her with his tongue. His whole body started humming, tingling with happiness. He only pulled away when they both needed to breathe.
"How was that?" he asked cheekily.
"Mmmmm," she said with her eyes still closed. "Amazing."
Break Room, Headquarters... 12:33 pm
Lisbon's POV
"More coffee?" Jane said from behind her.
She suppressed a smile. She had to stop smiling every time she made eye contact with him or heard his voice. It was getting ridiculous. Someone was going to notice that she suddenly found Jane adorable and irresistible.
"I didn't get much sleep last night."
"Hope it was for a pleasant reason," he quipped, reaching around her unnecessarily for his tea bags, crowding her.
She leaned into him a bit to feel his body against hers.
"Very," she whispered, her eyes darting around the room.
He'd been flirting with her all morning and she was loving it. She couldn't reproach him because he'd done so very discreetly and it made her feel downright giddy.
He brushed her hand with his fingers fleetingly, his eyes caressing her as he did so. Then his shoulder rubbed up against hers as he made his tea. She watched his lips as he sampled the tisane before dunking his tea bag again to gain the right strength he was looking for. She loved watching his lips but forced herself to stop staring in case someone walked in and saw her devouring him with her eyes.
But her resolve dissipated when his scent filled her nostrils as he reached across her for a napkin. He smelled so good; he always did. That was something that she'd always enjoyed about him... the way he smelled; clean, fresh, manly. It was subtle, not overpowering like the cologne other men in her circle wore.
She closed her eyes briefly as memories of their love-making came in sharp focus and her core throbbed with lust. She startled when he leaned close to her ear and whispered, 'I'll take care of that tonight' with a mischievous wink. She was about to chastise him when Cho entered the break room.
"Lisbon. Jane," he said, greeting both of them. Then he addressed her directly. "Wiley got measurements from that shadow you found and a possible entry point. We're heading back now."
"Shadow?" Jane inquired.
Shoot... she forgot to tell him about her lead.
"Oh, yeah. Sorry. Forgot to mention it. I found a shadow on the video footage and it didn't appear to have entered through the only entry point to the replica jail cell area."
Her cheeks got hot and she knew she was blushing. Also, the way Jane was looking at her confirmed that her face was giving her away. He was scrutinizing her with a tiny smile and she forced herself to focus on Cho.
"I'll drive," she said addressing Cho.
"Do you need me to come? I just made my tea," Jane whined.
"We got this," she answered quickly.
Jane's POV
He watched her leave the break room, intrigued. She'd been blushing and he wanted to know why, but not enough to want to subject himself to a three-hour round trip drive to the museum. He'd get his answers from her later he thought with a huge smile. He was eager to try new interrogation techniques with her now that they were lovers.
He was about to exit when Wiley walked in, his nose buried in his phone texting. The young analyst hadn't spotted him yet and was heading straight for him and his hot tea. He called his name to divert his trajectory.
"Oh, sorry Jane," he said, finally pulling himself away from his phone.
Then he blushed furiously, which made him pause. Wiley had a secret.
"No harm, no foul."
"Yeah," he answered shyly, his eyes downcast.
He decided to dig and find out what Wiley was hiding from him. He was surprised when the young man revealed what he saw in the video footage. He had no idea the surveillance equipment was still operational and had captured his interaction with Lisbon while she slept. As he recalled his memory, he realized that the footage would definitely reveal his feelings for her. Wiley explained that Fischer had asked him to analyze only a certain segment of the video, but he'd been overzealous in wanting to impress and had watched the entire footage.
"Sorry. You're not going to tell Fischer are you?"
"Of course not. You were being thorough. That's to be commended."
Wiley smiled shyly at the compliment.
"So… you and Lisbon, huh?"
"About that…"
He made an executive decision to hypnotize the young analyst and make him forget what he saw outside of just two friends sharing a cot. This wasn't because Lisbon wanted to keep their relationship a secret but because that interaction with her was meant to be private and he didn't like the team knowing about it.
Then he turned his attention to Fischer. She obviously saw the same footage to have assigned it to Wiley and he knew that she would be discreet with her knowledge. But he still didn't like the fact that she had witnessed this interaction. He headed to her office to try his luck and he was actually surprised at how quickly he got her under.
He laid down on his couch happy with his handy work and smiled to himself thinking about Lisbon watching the footage. This explained her blushing earlier and her request to sleep with him last night.
Later that day... 4:30 pm
Lisbon's POV
She dropped her purse in her desk drawer and locked it.
"That was quick," Jane said from behind her, startling her. She thought he was asleep on his couch.
She turned around; his eyes were still closed and she smiled. Then she admonished herself; she had to stop smiling like this around him at work. She lost count of the number of times she thought about him on the trip to the museum. Cho wasn't a big talker, so it had been easy to daydream about him. She'd been gone a total of four hours and she'd missed him like crazy. She couldn't decide if she'd always missed him when they were separated and she was only admitting it to herself now because their status had changed or if it was the status change that was making her miss him. She was contemplating that quandary when his voice broke through her thoughts.
"How did it go?"
"Very well, actually. We found the entry point. There's a hidden vent behind the floor display; big enough for anyone to come and go freely. Cho called in forensics to gather evidence and clear the area. I'm curious to see if they find anything in there."
"Wiley dropped something off on your desk for you."
"Great! It's the mapping of the vent system. I want to see where it leads."
"Do you have the museum guide?"
"Yes. Why?"
He sat up and stretched like an adorable puppy. She admonished herself again and ordered herself to get a grip on her thoughts. He pushed his hand through his hair and she almost moaned; then he smiled at her. That smile that she'd only seen for the first time today… it was different than his other smiles… this one was just for her. Working with him like this was going to be difficult she realized. All she could think about was sitting on his lap and making out with him right now. She physically shook her head to bring herself back in check and handed him the guide from her file.
"What are you thinking?"
"Don't know," he said, already engrossed in the guide.
"Jane… just tell me what you're thinking."
He looked distractedly at her, his mind clearly on his new task. This was the same old Jane… always playing his cards close to his chest. She knew better than to try and pry the information from him. He'd tell her eventually.
She took a deep breath and looked at the time on her phone. She'd delayed her task long enough. After her behavior yesterday at the Governor's ball, she owed Simms an apology. She was regrouping with Cho and Fischer in an hour to discuss the case so she had time. She pushed off her desk and headed to the elevators.
Simms' office
She knocked softly on her door and waited for a response.
"Come in."
She opened the door and Simms immediately looked annoyed by her presence, which was understandable.
"Lisbon. What a pleasure," she said sarcastically. "Are you here to deliver more truth bombs. There's no audience, so you may want to come back."
Simms leaned back in her chair with both arms on the armrests. She was a tough woman, which was a job requirement to survive in this environment. There was no point in idle chitchat, she just wanted to get this over and done with.
"I came to apologize for what I said last night. I could have handled that situation better."
"Which part?"
"What do you mean?"
"Which part could you have handled better? The part where you accused me of pandering to the Director or your jealousy over my date with Patrick."
She felt her jaw clench. She hadn't been jealous last night. She knew what Jane had been doing.
"Look, I just came here to apologize. I hope you can accept my apology and we can move past this. The FBI is a small world and it's always better if we can work together rather than against each other."
"I don't accept your apology."
"Excuse me?"
"You were jealous last night. I'm not stupid, Teresa. Are you two together now? I ran into Marcus earlier and he said you broke up."
"My personal life is not up for discussion."
"So that's a yes."
"No! It's a no comment."
She turned to leave, but Simms wouldn't let the subject drop.
"Then you won't mind if I continue dating Patrick."
"I don't care what you do with your personal life, nor do I want to discuss it with you."
Simms was watching her through the narrowed slits of her eyes.
"How did you rise through the ranks at the CBI with such a transparent face?" she chuckled.
She felt her anger rise, her cheeks getting hot.
"Many people call that integrity."
"Oh... is that what that was last night?" she laughed openly.
"Look, I'm sorry for what I said. Have a good afternoon."
This time she had almost breached the threshold when Simms spoke again.
"You were wrong, Lisbon. He did seal the deal."
Her words made her pause her stride briefly giving Simms the opportunity to deliver her last blow.
"The night before the ball, after our shopping trip. He knows how to show a girl a good time."
She didn't turn around to acknowledge Simms' words. She just kept walking out.
A/N: Hope you liked this chapter... drop me a line and let me know what you think. I'm having a lot of fun writing this story.