Chapter 9

Lisbon's POV

Fischer waved at her from her office indicating for her to come and join her as she passed by. She altered her trajectory from her desk to her office catching Jane's eyes. He'd been watching her covertly from his couch, pretending to read his book, as she made her way back from the break room. She flashed him a tiny smile and he nodded almost imperceptibly. Everything was going so well with Jane; she was happy.

Marcus came into view and now she knew why Jane had been watching her. She took a deep breath as she braced herself for their meeting. They'd just closed the museum case yesterday. Jane's theory had been right, as usual, it had been a heist, an inside job, and the perpetrator was apprehended without issue. During the interrogation, the inside man turned on his contacts in return for a more lenient sentence for the murders. That's why Marcus was here; he would be taking over the case as this was now an Art Crimes case.

She headed back to her desk, relieved to have avoided a long interaction with Marcus. The meeting didn't take long; they just needed clarification on one of her notes in the file.

She sat at her desk fully aware of Jane's presence behind her. She'd been struggling to focus on her work the last three days. She kept having to bring her mind back on task every few minutes because she couldn't stop daydreaming about him. This was not like her; when she was dating Marcus, she barely thought of him at all during the day and she could go days without seeing him. They didn't even have sex every time they saw each other for a date. With Jane it was completely different; he was on her mind continuously, which wasn't such a big change from before they were lovers, but now it was different. Whereas before it was always work-related, now it was all about his sweet smile, the way he smelled, the way he held her, his hands, his lips, and the list went on. She was in big trouble. She was supposed to be protecting herself from him, but instead, she was getting in deeper.

He cleared his throat behind her and her thoughts immediately jumped to the way he'd been sitting when she approached her desk earlier. She wanted to climb on his lap like she did the other night and make out with him. She shook her head at herself. She needed to get a grip of herself and stop acting like a lovesick schoolgirl. But he was so cute in the way he was concentrating on his book. She wanted to be the focus of his attention; feel his hands on her hips, his firm lips on hers. She wanted to gaze into his sexy green eyes and watch his lips as he talked about whatever he was reading. She groaned inwardly at herself again and mentally told herself to stop her daydreaming and get back to her cold case file.

She kept her eyes on her computer screen refusing to let her thoughts rule her. Jane cleared his throat again and this time she looked up. Oh no... he'd been trying to warn her. It was Marcus; he was heading straight for her.

"Teresa, can we talk in private for a moment?" his eyes flicked to Jane briefly and back to her.

"I'm a bit busy right now."

"It's about the case," he said clearing his throat a bit, his eyes shifting.

Marcus' deception game wasn't very good. That's why he never made it to the Violent Crimes division. But his investigation skills were very well regarded and the reason he was offered that position in D.C.

Whatever he wanted to talk about, it was not about the case but she had no way out of it.

"Sure."

She followed him to the private office hoping he didn't want to rehash their breakup.

"Is it true? Are you with him?" he asked the second the door clicked closed.

"Sorry?"

"Don't play dumb. I spoke with Simms," he rubbed his face suddenly. "Forget it. It's all over your face."

"This is obviously not about the case, so I'm leaving."

"Geezus, Teresa. He's just playing you. What are you doing? He didn't want me to have you. He wanted to keep you to himself. He's selfish and now... what? You suddenly fall for it?"

"Okay. This conversation is over."

"He's just going to hurt you. I'm here because I care about you."

"I'm a big girl Marcus. I can take care of myself and who I'm with or not is none of your business anymore."

He shook his head at her as she grabbed the handle to open the door to leave.

"I thought you were smarter. Of all the people, you know how he is. You told me yourself! You know what a son of a bitch he can be and you let him pull the wool over your eyes. You're throwing everything away for what? You're just afraid. I'm offering you everything... what is he offering you? Besides being his sidekick?"

"Go to hell, Marcus."

"Yeah... make me the bad guy. He doesn't love you. A guy like that doesn't know what it is! It's all an illusion and you know it-"

"Stop it!" she whispered like a whip.

She was held hostage with him because she couldn't open the door and risk others hearing what he was saying.

"He's never sacrificed a thing for you... it's all one-sided!" he said pleadingly. "You're throwing us away for something that's not even real! It's not real! It's just another one of his tricks."

His words hit a little too close to home with her insecurities with Jane. He was breathing heavily, pacing the tiny office.

She yanked the door open to leave.

"Teresa… please… don't do this. He's not worth it," he whispered.

She didn't acknowledge him and headed to the washroom to calm down. When she emerged from the washroom Jane was waiting for her.

"Hey... you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

His eyes related that he didn't believe her, but he nodded in acceptance. It's not like they could talk about it at work. He brushed his arm against hers in silent support.

"Wish me luck," he said suddenly as he veered off towards Abbott's office.

"Why?"

"Abbott asked to see me."

Jane's POV

"I need you on this one. The director insists."

"And we both know why."

"What are you implying?"

He just gave him a look. They both knew that Simms went to cry on the director's shoulder and requested his services again. He wasn't required to help other divisions and he'd done so last week to put Abbott at ease when he came back from his disappearing act. But Abbott couldn't force him to work with Simms and he also feared if he did, it would cause issues between him and Lisbon.

"I'm not doing it."

"Jane, this would be a personal favor to the director."

"He wants to sleep with her and she's just leading him on," he said dismissively.

"Jane," Abbott said with a warning tone. "Just consult on the case. No need to do any actual fieldwork."

He went straight to his couch after the meeting and laid down, closing his eyes. This was going to be trouble. Simms had just started a game and he didn't want to play. He'd have to make his intentions clear to her once again.

He placed his fist on his forehead, gently tapping it to clear his thoughts. Lisbon wasn't at her desk; she was most likely gone to records to look at some evidence from the cold case she was working on until a new case came in.

He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling wondering what kind of game Simms was playing. He'd set her up and used her to make Lisbon jealous. She was astute; he was sure she figured out her role in his ruse the other night. It didn't help that Lisbon had called her out in front of everyone. He didn't make her any promises and he knew she hadn't been looking for anything serious, just some fun. But Simms was the kind of woman who liked to call the shots and decide when she was done playing. She wasn't going to let it go as he had hoped. He'd have to go along with her little game to see if she showed her hand. Better to let her be comfortable and think she had the upper hand; she'd be easier to manipulate that way.

With that settled, he focused his thoughts on the bigger issue affecting him right now... Lisbon. The last few days with her had been amazing on the one hand and disconcerting on the other. She was fun, vibrant, loving, and as interesting as he'd always found her to be; she'd opened up a small part of her world to him and he couldn't believe everything he'd been missing out on all this time. She made him feel content, and happy.

He used to love making her mad because he found her so adorable in that state, but when she smiled at him as she'd been lately, he was addicted. He wanted to see that smile all the time. And holding her while she slept was his favorite new pass time; her body was warm, tiny, soft, and fit him perfectly. He loved burying his nose in her hair or near her neck and falling asleep with her scent around him. He made love to her every night since because he preferred her naked in his arms while she slept. She didn't fight him on it either; after they made love, she automatically turned and waited for him to cuddle her to sleep.

But sleep had been eluding him; he couldn't figure out how to get Lisbon to trust him. It was clear that he had many inroads to do to get there. She still hadn't told him what upset the other day to the point of avoiding him altogether. She had a visceral reaction to him being near that box on her shelf; he still itched to open it, but decided to keep his promise to her and wait until she was ready to discuss it. Not to mention the fact that she wouldn't let him tell her he loved her and it was clear she would not reciprocate if he did. She was guarded; besides the other night where she shared that little bit about her aunt, their relationship was quite superficial.

When she said she wanted to start small, she hadn't been kidding. They covered everything from their favorite numbers to their favorite foods; all things he knew already but every time he asked a more personal question she would evade him or give him as little information as possible if he pushed. He recalled with annoyance their conversation about her family; he now knew the names of all her family members and apparently, they were all doing well. He knew she'd be a tough nut to crack but he hadn't expected this level of evasiveness. He could guess most of the information like he usually did, but he wanted her to tell him in her own words. The worse part, he wasn't sure she was even conscious of it. She was free with her opinions, but not her thoughts about their relationship or her past and certainly not her feelings; and he was craving these things from her most of all.

He took a deep breath and rubbed his temples with the thumb and forefinger of his hand. Her lack of trust in him wasn't the whole story. Her trust issues were firmly in place before she ever set eyes on him but he admits that his track record wouldn't encourage trust from someone like her.

It never occurred to him that being in a relationship with Lisbon would come with so many challenges. He thought he knew her but he was learning fast that he'd been cocky where she was concerned.

He sat up suddenly needing to move and shake off the frantic energy from his limbs that was now clouding his thoughts. Before he knew it, he was outside heading for the nearby park, his legs covering a lot of ground with his brisk stride.

When he finally arrived, the usual feeling of peace didn't come and he frowned at the sun beaming on his face. He couldn't find peace because he'd been avoiding the truth that was niggling in his brain the last few days.

He'd been thinking and analyzing different reasons for Lisbon's reticence to be open with him. He'd been looking outward instead of in his own backyard. The truth was so clear that it left him with a bad taste in his mouth.

He found a bench and sat unceremoniously on it placing his head in his hands, aggressively scratching his scalp. He'd been lying to himself; he hated that. The truth was, Lisbon was protecting herself from him because he taught her to with his actions over the years and she didn't open up to him because he never took the time to get to know her as a person and not a mark.

Everything he knew about her, was gained through observation or second-hand information. She'd never confided in him over the years. Her distrust of him ran so deep that she wouldn't even tell him what instrument she played in high school all those years ago, he suddenly remembered and that was only one instance among many where she wouldn't share the most mundane information with him. He would guess and that's how it has always been between them. But knowing wasn't enough anymore, he wanted to know why she picked that instrument and if she liked it, and did she still play.

His mouth soured; he thought that he knew her and in a way, he did... but not because she shared that part of herself with him but because he'd treated her like a mark. He had needed her cooperation and he had studied her to ensure he could manipulate her. He learned her facial expressions, her moods, and her buttons so he could control her. He drew conclusions on the broad strokes of her life but she'd never confirmed that information to be correct. He knew that her mother died when she was young, he assumed that her father was an alcoholic and abusive based on her behavior over the years, he knew that she raised her brothers because he'd heard her mention it in passing to Cho once in a glib remark and he assumed she wasn't close to them because she rarely visited them and there was only one photo of her with her brothers and it was from when they were young kids and it had been in her home when he'd been allowed to enter just once many years ago. He had constructed a narrative of her life... from her childhood and everything in between and none of it had ever been related to him from her own lips.

He shoved his fingers through his hair, annoyed with himself as a new perspective materialized in his mind. Lisbon wasn't a good liar but that didn't make her stupid. She was very smart. She never shared herself with him because she knew she was a mark that whole time. She'd watched out for him, supported him, protected him and she never held a grudge when he so obviously used her in the past to get what he wanted and he always thought it was because he had her number, that he'd figured her out and could easily manipulate her... but it had been the other way around this entire time; she had his number. She knew what he'd been doing but her job and the team were her priority and closing cases. He thought he'd been the only one doing the using all that time but it had been reciprocal; she had been using him too.

Who was she really, he thought… what version of herself would she narrate to him? How different would her version be from his? He never bothered to find out. As long as he got what he wanted from her, that's all that mattered back then.

A twinge of guilt twisted in his gut as a forgotten memory pushed to the front of his mind. The smile he'd been obsessing about the last few days... he'd seen it before. She had smiled like that at him once early in their acquaintance and it had felt good to be on the receiving end of it... but back then, any kind of joy also caused mental and physical pain. So, he had turned on her. He had shown her his cruel side so she would be warned and she had heeded that warning all these years later.

There was no doubt in his mind that she cared about him; her choices and sacrifices carried more meaning now that he knew that she knew she was a mark. She didn't let that change her. Her love for him shone brighter somehow as he considered how she'd been there for him all these years, always supporting, always having his back. He'd kept her at arm's length but she never wavered, she was always there when he needed her.

She was a complex woman; She had trust issues which she'd earned through repeated trauma in her formative years, he was sure of that assumption and that his performance in her life didn't help things. He needed to find a way to make her feel safe with him but he'd done so much damage over the years, he's not sure how he could build that bridge to her. But he had a chance. She was giving him a chance or she wouldn't be in his arms every night. She gave up her new life with Marcus in D.C. for him. He couldn't let her down.

Lisbon's POV

Jane sitting on her porch was her favorite view now. They'd missed each other most of the day and he'd been gone when she'd returned from the records department. She couldn't suppress the excitement and joy when she approached and he flashed her his charming smile.

As soon as her front door clicked closed she jumped him.

"I missed you too," he said with a chuckle after their kiss ended.

"Who says I missed you," she threw back at him sassily.

She should just tell him that she was happy to see him and that she missed him but it felt too foreign on her tongue. She kissed him again instead hoping that was enough to convey her feelings to him.

"How was your day?"

"It was good. I think I might have some DNA I can test against a suspect that was a person of interest but they didn't have enough irrefutable evidence to prosecute him. You? What did Abbott want?" she asked, looking through her takeout menus for supper.

He just smiled at her.

"Before I get into that, what happened with Pike? He upset you."

Damn. She was hoping to divert his attention from that subject. She turned her back to him pretending to read the menu racking her brain on how much to reveal to him. Somehow, telling him that Marcus thought she was making a big mistake by being with him and that a part of her was concerned that he was right didn't seem like the thing to say.

"Just… break-up stuff."

"Such as? It upset you. I'd like to know what happened."

"It's nothing."

"Maybe. But I thought we were going to work on sharing."

"We are… it's just... there's nothing worth mentioning. That's all."

She felt trapped in his web and did her best to avoid looking at him.

"You're reading the menu upside down. Is that a new skill you acquired recently?" he said turning the menu around for her.

He wasn't going to let it go she realized.

"He knows about us," she said without turning around.

"I see."

He nodded pensively then leaned his hip against the counter beside her. She finally looked up at him and encountered concern in his eyes.

"Is that what made you upset? That he knows?"

This was her way out, she realized.

"Yes."

He was quiet, observing her; she could feel his discerning eyes on her as she continued to pretend to peruse the menus.

Finally, she couldn't take it anymore.

"What?"

He expelled a breath in frustration.

"You're lying to me… why?"

"Oh my god… you're like a dog with a bone. It was nothing," she said, her voice raised louder than she wanted.

"You were upset. I want to support you. That's what people do in a relationship, Teresa."

"I know," she said indignantly. "There's just nothing to say about it."

"You don't get upset over nothing; I know there's something more. Just talk to me," he pleaded.

She felt trapped, her mind was blank and she wasn't sure what to say. She just knew that she needed him to stop.

They were just staring at each other now, caught in a stalemate. Suddenly, he broke eye contact, moving away from her and placing his hands on his hips. He bit his lip as he stared out in her yard through the sliding patio doors. Then he turned to face her again.

"The only reason I can think of that would cause you this much upset is that you're having doubts about your breakup with Pike, about choosing me."

"No!" she said emphatically.

She rushed to him, putting her arms around his waist, and hugging him close. She pressed her cheek against his chest but he didn't reciprocate her hug.

"I don't want Marcus anymore. Can we just stop talking about this?"

She held her breath, squeezing him tightly to her. Relief washed over her when his arms wrapped around her and he squeezed her in return.

The rest of the evening went well. They prepared sandwiches together and sat outside in her yard watching nature go about its activities. They shared the same lawn chair; she needed to be in constant contact with him tonight. He looked a bit puzzled when she'd sat between his legs but he didn't say anything about it.

She was on her back, her knees bent, staring at the night sky, her head nestled on his belly. There were no stars to be seen because the city lights were too bright but it was peaceful nonetheless.

"On the island, you could see so many stars, it was incredible."

"I remember. You wrote it in one of your letters. It must've been beautiful."

"I did? Hum."

Jane's POV

"Patrick? I've been meaning to ask you about something."

He smiled at her use of his name. It was important to him and she was making an effort to break out of her habit.

"Shoot," he said, squeezing her hand.

She'd been uncharacteristically affectionate tonight. Even though she was laying on him, she had reached up to hold his hand as well.

"Why did you come back? You seemed happy there. At least that's how it seemed in your letters."

"I was. It worked…"

"So… why did you come back?"

"A chance to be free again. To chose. I wasn't free on the island… I was a hostage. But it was better than prison."

"After you were done your stint with the FBI, what were you planning to do?"

He frowned at her question. It seemed conversational but he knew his answer was important.

"Never thought about it really. I stopped making plans a long time ago. But I do know that I want you with me. What about you?"

"I don't know. I thought my life was going one way and now it's all up in the air. I haven't had a chance to think about it."

She didn't mention that her future included him and that troubled him. But her response had been unfiltered and honest and he appreciated that.

"What was your life supposed to look like?"

"It doesn't matter. It's the past," she answered, letting go of his hand.

"I'd still like to hear about it."

She yawned big and sat up.

"I'm tired. We should go to bed. Are you spending the night?"

That was an odd question since he hadn't left her side since their first night together.

"I'd like to."

She smiled sweetly at him and took his hand leading the way to her bedroom. They showered together and she made no sexual overtures; he wondered if it was her time of the month. They fell into bed exhausted. He was happy that she'd forgone her clothes and he got to feel her naked skin on his.

Lisbon's POV

She woke with a start. She flipped around quickly; Jane was thrashing about still asleep. He was muttering something but she couldn't make it out, but he was definitely upset. She shook him awake and he sat up appearing confused as he blinked and took in his bearings.

"You okay?" she asked rubbing his back.

"Yeah. Just a bad dream."

He laid back down and took her in his arms to hold her tight. She waited for him to fall asleep but he didn't. She turned to face him. He smiled weakly at her and she stroked his cheek.

"Can't sleep?"

He shook his head.

"Want to talk about it?"

He shook his head again.

"I just need to hold you."

She laid her head on his chest and ran her hand along his torso in a soothing pattern. She rubbed his arm and his chest, then she leaned on her elbow and stroked his hair. His eyes were glued to hers the entire time watching her. She held his gaze as she traced his eyebrows, then his nose, and created a trail to his lips. He kissed her finger so she leaned in to kiss his lips. He pressed her to him and deepened their kiss. When he opened his mouth under hers inviting her tongue; a fire ignited inside her. Their kiss intensified and she let her hand roam until she reached her target. He was hard and silky in her hand, the vein where she held him throbbing under her caress.

She loved sleeping naked with him, it made everything so much more accessible. Wordlessly, she mounted him as his eyes tracked her, his warm hands gripping her hips. She leaned in and kissed him, nipping his lips softly. She wanted to soothe him with her body. His silky tongue swept into her mouth suddenly as his hands pushed on her hips impelling her soft flesh. She moaned in pure pleasure at being joined with him again, loving the way it made her feel. He groaned his own pleasure, his eyes locking on hers, his hands seeking hers. They held hands as she rode him hard and fast their eyes never leaving each other. He came inside her quickly without her finding her release but it was okay, this wasn't about her own pleasure, it was about closeness and giving him what he needed.

She kissed him languidly everywhere she could reach, as he caught his breath. She loved the view of his long, toned arms lying limply on top of her thighs. He had such beautiful hands and seeing them on her in the twilight of the night was intimate. She placed her hands on top of his where they lay. She hadn't released him from their position yet as he was still recovering and the view beneath her was too stunning to move just yet; his eyes were shut thigh, his mouth slightly open, and his hair all mussed as he rode the last of his climax. A little pang hit her heart; she was grateful she got to love him.

When he finally opened his eyes again, he smiled at her sweetly, that smile she loved. She leaned in and kissed it, extracting herself at the same time. Like old lovers who'd danced together for years, she turned to her side as he spooned her tightly in his arms. Although they'd only been sleeping together a few days, she couldn't imagine sleeping without him now. It didn't take long he was asleep; she intertwined their fingers and followed him into slumber.

Jane's POV

He woke up to the delightful sight of Lisbon in his arms. She usually ended up on the far side of the bed and he had to chase her down to snuggle her. He'd been sleeping with her for five days now and had grown used to her already. If he woke up with empty arms, his immediate instinct was to seek her out.

She was wiggling her backside against his groin and his morning erection was growing bigger. She was insatiable, they'd just made love a few hours ago. But his body didn't seem to mind by the way it was responding; he couldn't get enough of her either. He was surprised by his own need to make love to her as often as he had; he hadn't expected it to be this way.

"Teresa," he said with a soft warning tone.

She turned around and smiled wickedly at him, indicating her intention. She kissed his neck and stroked his now hard and ready shaft.

"Do we have time?"

"If we make it quick," she said mischievously.

"I should probably start wearing the protection in your nightstand," he said teasingly. "We're definitely taking too many chances."

She looked confused by his words, frowning at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She was upset which confused him; he quickly reviewed in his mind what had just been said.

"What's wrong?"

"I told you it was okay. I wouldn't lie to you about something like that."

She sprung from the bed as though it was on fire and put on her robe.

"I know. I'm not accusing you. It's just, you're not on birth control," he said calmly. "It would be irresponsible to not use protection."

Her eyes spit fire at him and he couldn't understand her anger in this conversation.

"Irresponsible? Irresponsible! Is that what you've been thinking? That I'm being irresponsible?"

His eyes roamed her face trying to figure out what had set her off.

"No. It's my fault, too. I just think that if you… we…" he corrected when her features grew tense. "If we want to engage in unprotected sex, that we should talk about the consequences first, which we-."

"I am not trying to get pregnant!"

Her words made him pause. She was showing deception but that made no sense. Lisbon would never engage in deceitful behavior like that. But it was there, all over her face and in the structure of her words. Something didn't add up.

"Teresa…"

"It's okay," she said suddenly, her voice calmer.

"Teresa… please talk to me. What's going on?"

He saw the panic flash across her face.

"There's nothing going on."

"This makes no sense; if you don't want to get pregnant, then I need to wear protection because you're not on birth control. I don't understand why this has upset you?"

"Because… you accused me of being irresponsible. I told you, that it was okay. I wouldn't lie to you."

His mind was assessing her cues on the fly trying to decipher what had caused everything to go sideways so quickly.

"This is a simple equation, Teresa. If we continue as we are, you can get pregnant. You don't want that and neither do I."

"You don't know what I want! Don't put words in my mouth."

"So you are trying to get pregnant?"

"No!"

"Then talk to me."

"Wear a condom or not… it's up to you. I don't care. I have to get ready," she said as she escaped to the bathroom.

He was stunned. He was about to lay back down on the bed to think when she reappeared.

"Jane, I'm sorry. I…" she paused her eyes searching his.

He could see her inner struggle and he wished he was someone she felt safe confiding in. He was rooted to the spot waiting for her to give him something, anything that would explain her behavior.

"I want to…" she pleaded. "I do. I just need time. I have to sort out some things first. Please understand?"

She looked so fragile; he could hear the sincerity in her words. I guess they both had demons to grapple with; hers were more subtle than his but their impact had the same result.

"It's okay," he offered as a truce.

Jane's POV

What was going on he wondered. She had a strange reaction the first time they discussed protection too. This was not like her. She'd been honest with him in that first conversation but she was most definitely hiding something important from him now and whatever it was, she was being triggered.

He needed to lay low on this until he figured out what was wrong. She didn't want him digging but he couldn't keep his promise on this one.

He heard the water turn on and leaned back against the pillows to think.

Lisbon was the kind of woman who needed control. She maintained a tight grip on almost every aspect of her life. He suspected it was what she learned she needed to do to survive her childhood. And she was a planner; that's why none of this made sense… she wouldn't risk getting pregnant and her integrity would prevent her from doing so without his consent.

When she first announced that she wasn't on birth control it didn't surprise him. Over the years, he had tried to track her cycle simply so he could predict her mood swings; she was quite emotional the first day or two which never bode well for him. But he quickly realized that her cycle was irregular and he would never be able to track it with any kind of accuracy, which meant at the time that she wasn't on birth control for these would have regulated her cycle.

When she indicated that she wasn't concerned about their lack of protection that first time, he assumed she was late in her cycle and knew she wasn't fertile, but that kind of practice wasn't very reliable in avoiding pregnancy, especially if she was irregular. He knew this because of that case they worked on years ago with the fertility doctor and that's why he began the conversation about protection but it had gone sideways fast.

Did she want to get pregnant? Did she want a baby? That made no sense but what else explained that whole interaction. Lisbon wouldn't be duplicitous about something like that but maybe she was afraid to broach the subject with him. That didn't make sense either, their relationship was too new to even talk about that kind of thing and Lisbon had never shown any desire to have children… ever.

He tapped his lips with his two fingers absentmindedly searching his brain for other motives for her strange behavior. The only other reason he could think that would make her so sure of preventing pregnancy is if she were sterile but that made no sense either; how would she know? Her relationship with Marcus hadn't reached the stage of trying for a family and she'd never been in a situation where she'd be trying to get pregnant, which is usually when women found out about their fertility issues. He put a big x on that theory and looped back to his first observation.

She said she wasn't trying to get pregnant, but he read obvious deception in her face and her tone didn't match her words. The apparent conclusion is that she does want a baby. He pondered that for a moment. He never thought that Lisbon wanted children, she had plenty of opportunities to do that in the last two years if that's what she wanted, he reasoned. He was willing to bet that Pike would've given that to her if she had wanted it. He was also sure that Lisbon would not view him as father material for her child; she would have stayed with the safe choice, which was Pike and not him.

He searched his memory archive of every instance Lisbon interacted with babies, children, and pregnant women… it's not something she ever showed any inclination for. The few times he'd seen her in action, she'd been caring and competent, but he'd never seen any longing in her eyes, just relief when she was done.

Then a bigger question presented itself… did he want another child? He never considered it for a moment. That part of his life was done… or was it? He bit through his lip self-consciously and winced. Teresa would make a great mother if that's what she wanted. But could he be a good father, a good husband? Could he be what they needed? A resounding 'no' echoed in his brain. If she wanted a family, the future of their relationship was in trouble. He wasn't looking for that kind of responsibility again.

He expelled a long breath. He needed more information; in the past, he would've continued to question her until he got what he needed to form his conclusions but that would break the delicate trust he was trying to build. Perhaps he read the whole thing wrong and she was just upset that she felt accused and had always planned to start using protection. In any event, he would start wearing condoms until she opened up to him.

He got up, needing to rest his eyes on her, to assure himself of his conclusions. She had her back to him in the shower. He leaned on the door frame to watch her; she was wearing that ridiculous shower cap again. A primal instinct filled his chest. She was his; she belonged with him. He couldn't stand the thought of her being with someone else but if she wanted a family, the right thing to do would be to let her go. That thought did not sit right with him; he needed her.

She turned in the stream rubbing the suds from her breasts and belly and he felt a surge of lust in his loins. She hadn't noticed him standing there as she continued to rinse herself off, her eyes gazing blankly nowhere, caught up in her own thought; probably rehashing their argument like he was.

His eyes were drawn to her pert breasts then traveled to her toned belly as the water sluiced over them. He felt a sudden kick in his gut as an image of her belly growing with another man's child appeared in his mind; he could never live with that reality. She turned in the stream presenting him with her back again. He still marveled at how tiny and tough she was. He couldn't imagine his life without her in it. He allowed himself to picture her child and what popped in his mind was a daughter with fierce eyes and tumbling dark hair like hers. He realized he felt no apprehension about it.

Suddenly his mind was made up; if Teresa wanted a baby, he was going to be the one to give it to her and nobody else… but that was a big 'if'. He still wasn't convinced that his summation was correct because it didn't match up with everything he knew about her. Teresa would never trap him with a child without his consent.

None of it made sense right now but it would soon enough, he was sure of it. Until then, he decided to follow her lead for the consequence wasn't going to be an issue.

He tapped his thumb in his hand and watched her for a few more moments enjoying the show. She was his and he will never give her up without a fight. He was rock hard now and couldn't wait anymore.

Lisbon's POV

The shower door opened and Jane entered with an intense gaze. Their eyes met and she immediately caught the lust there. A rush of longing pulsed through her sending an ache to her core.

"Hey," she croaked out.

He smiled then approached her with purpose, took off her shower cap, and took her mouth in a hungry kiss.

Her entire body hummed with desire as they kissed each other desperately, giving and taking in turn, wanting to please each other. She was confused by his sudden appearance after what happened earlier. She'd been worried and anxious and she was pouring that energy into their embrace.

"I can't let you go," he said as he moved his lips to her neck. "You're mine. All mine."

His words confused her but soothed her at the same time. She didn't want to be let go. She didn't want to lose him.

She kissed him with renewed fervor needing to feel him against every part of her body. She felt mindless as her body sought his for the pleasure she knew only he could provide.

"You're mine," he said breathlessly, searching her eyes again. "You're mine."

She nodded, wanting to assuage whatever was keeping him from continuing his assault on her senses. He sighed at her agreement and kissed her sweetly but then their kiss turned hot and heavy again, his erection pressing against her belly. She couldn't get enough of his taste, she needed more and she heard herself whimpering her need, her core pulsing uncomfortably, her body seeking his at every turn.

"I want you, Teresa," he panted between kisses.

He was pressing himself mindlessly against her, seeking the same connection she wanted, his fingers rubbing her core, making her knees weak.

"I need you, now. I can't wait," he said panting heavily against her lips, as his fingers messaged her.

She was more than ready for him; her core was throbbing in time to his ministrations.

"I need you," he begged.

"Me too."

She spread her legs giving him more access unsure how to get what they both needed in their current position. Then, without warning, in quick succession, he lifted her, pushing her against the shower wall, and entered her.

She mewled in relief, her body shuddering from head to toe. He took her vigorously, his face buried in her neck, both arms wrapped securely around her holding her in place. She held on tightly, her legs wrapped around his thighs, content with finally having him inside her.

The world melted away and all she could feel was Jane making love to her. She closed her eyes, her fingertips stroking the wet curls at the nape of his neck, his hot mouth sucking that sensitive spot on her neck increasing her pleasure, his hard shaft thrusting quickly and fully, every stroke stimulating her tender nerve endings, his heavy breathing near her ear. She kissed his shoulder, then his neck, desperately needing her release. The sensations were becoming overwhelming as she closed her eyes to savor them.

"Do you want me to make you mine?"

He wanted to come inside her; obviously deciding to not wear protection. She felt relief and it confused her; condoms shouldn't be a problem but it was for her when it came to him. He was the first man to make love to her unprotected. Having a part of him still inside her after making love made her feel close to him and to lose that now would diminish the act for her she realized… this was the only time she trusted him implicitly and without question. She wanted to cry with relief.

"Yes, please, Patrick, please, please…"

He roared in triumph increasing his speed to take what he needed to give her what she was craving. Pleasure zinged through her in pulsing waves as he drove wildly into her. He groaned loudly as his last stroke brought about his intense release.

His body was shaking as he fought to hold them up after their intense coupling. Their position wasn't an easy one to maintain and her legs were shaky as well as his. He put her down almost clumsily, his breathing labored like her own.

His eyes sought hers in a gentle caress and a soft smile teased his lips. He shut off the water, then held her in his arms.

"Did you like that?" he asked still catching his breath, water droplets in his eyelashes.

"Ummm… yes," she responded, kissing his lips. "You?"

"I wasn't thinking; I had to have you. You were just too delectable," he answered, his eyes twinkling with mischievousness. "But that felt very unsafe. I think I'm getting too old."

She couldn't help but chuckle at him calling himself old, he was only forty.

"You're not old."

His eyes twinkled as he held hers, a wet curl falling on his face.

"I'm glad you think so."

He pecked her on the lips and held her gaze for a moment longer.

"You didn't wear protection," she trailed off.

"You said it was okay."

"It is. I promise."

"Okay. When you're ready to talk about it, I'm here."

She nodded and a hint of sadness filled her eyes but he knew he couldn't ask her about it because she wasn't ready; he would have to be patient.

"Let's get ready for work! I feel in fine form to face our day of drudgery after our little interlude."

She smiled broadly at him, her cheek dimpling and her eyes twinkling. He loved that smile, her face... he loved her.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. As per usual, I enjoy hearing your thoughts on the story in any language you feel comfortable sharing. There's more fun up ahead as Simms starts her game and things get tense between Jane and Lisbon. I will try to post the new chapter in 2-3 weeks. :-)