Chapter 13

Saturday night, 7 pm

Jane's POV

His eyes drank her in once again as he walked towards her waiting in the courtyard. He'd just finished settling the last-minute details for their private evening at the botanical garden. Lisbon didn't want to run into people they knew and he wanted to take her out for a special date; this was his solution, a private rental. They could stroll the grounds at their leisure and end the night with a picnic in the gazebo; a popular package. He had to buy out all the other packages to ensure their privacy, but it was worth it to see her eyes light up when they got here.

She was wearing a soft pink summer dress that hugged her at the bodice and that flowed airily just past her knees. Her hair was curled loosely and draped over her bare shoulders; it was a warm night, so she'd opted to leave her jacket in his car. He offered her his arm and she took it as they began to stroll in the garden. It was peaceful and they walked in silence for a while enjoying each other's proximity.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?" he asked breaking the silence.

"You did," she said looking up at him with a tiny smile teasing her lips.

"I did?"

"Yes."

Lisbon always wore standard-issue law enforcement lace-up shoes with a heel that looked professional and would allow her to chase a suspect if needed. He also suspected that the height she gained while wearing them, was part of her tough cop persona and allowed her to stand as tall as possible and assert her authority more easily.

Seeing her in a pink dress that he knew she wore for him and a pair of flats was a big step in their relationship. It implied a level of trust on her part; a willingness to be vulnerable with him and that knowledge made her more stunning to him tonight. He could barely contain his excitement that he got to spend this time with her; he couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"What are you thinking," she asked. "You're miles away."

"Hmmm… I'm thinking you'll be disappointed tonight."

"Why?" she asked, her smile dropping.

"Because… all the flowers will wilt in your presence knowing they cannot rival your beauty."

"Oh my god, Jane. That's so cheesy," she chuckled. "Did that ever work for you?"

He shrugged at her. He knew that smile she was wearing and it meant that she'd liked his line, she just didn't want to admit it. She gave him a gentle shove with her shoulder and looked up at him expectantly.

"Okay, Patrick. Lay them on me... what are your best pick-up lines?"

He couldn't help but smile down at her.

"I don't need pick-up lines. That's not how you snag a beautiful woman."

"Oh, no? So, tell me… what's your game?"

"That, my dear, is a secret."

"C'mon... tell me."

Her eyes were twinkling with anticipation and her smile did him in, so he relented.

"How about I show you?"

"Okay," she agreed with suppressed excitement.

"Walk up along the path and I'll catch up."

She did as instructed and he followed her for a bit, enjoying the view in front of him. When she stopped to look at a unique arrangement of flowers, he made his move.

"Excuse me... is this your phone?"

She looked surprised that he had her phone; he'd lifted it before sending her off.

"Yes, thank you. I had no idea I had lost it," she said playing along but not very convincingly.

He stared into her eyes, holding her gaze.

"Sorry... I didn't mean to stare. I'm sure you hear this all the time, but your eyes are a stunning shade of green and... I'm sorry," he apologized quickly again. "That sounded like a pick-up line. You must get that all the time."

"It's okay."

"Well, you have your phone... I'm sure you're not interested in meeting a stranger; I've always made it a point to not be that guy. I'll just be on my way."

"Oh, okay. Thank you," she answered with obvious confusion.

He turned to the left, then to the right.

"Uh - maybe you could help me. I got turned around and I can't seem to find my way back to the lobby."

"Oh, that's easy. It's down this path, a straight shot."

"Are you sure, because I've been down that way already and I ended up here?"

"I'm sure. It's that way," she said still playing along but looking confused.

"Hum... that doesn't seem right. You sure... that way?"

"Yes, you just follow this path."

He pretended to consider her instructions for a few seconds and to look unconvinced as he stared in the direction she indicated.

"If it's not an inconvenience, would you mind walking with me, since you know the way?... My reward for finding your phone? I'm short on time and just need to find the lobby."

Her eyes narrowed on him.

"Okay... you can stop now. I can see how that could work. I felt indebted to you and I knew it was a game. So that's the formula?"

"That wasn't all of it. By the time we would've reached the lobby, you would've asked me out for coffee."

"Really? And this is your game?"

He shrugged.

"Tried and true. Different people need different motivations, but the same delivery. Most people want to help someone who's helped them. It would have been almost impossible for you to let me go and get possibly lost. You also have a need to be right and you would've wanted me to acknowledge that. I would've picked that up in the way you kept insisting on the way. Once you were committed to walking me back to the lobby, the hard part was done. You were invested in me. I would've brought up the lost phone again, making you feel like you owed me something. It wouldn't have taken much to have you ask me out for coffee and the reason I would want you to do the asking is because people are more likely to do something if it's their idea."

"You said 'people' and not women... why?"

"It works for everyone."

"Is that how you reeled in your marks?"

"It would be the first step. Next... I would have to find my value proposition. What you need from me and then deliver on it to gain your trust."

"Give me an example."

"Well... let's take you for instance... it wasn't hard to figure out your motivation in life... to stay on your good side, I had to deliver on my value proposition... close cases. If I didn't fulfill that role, I would've been useless to you and not worth the investment or hassle. The cost-benefit to me was that I got what I wanted in return," he said with a cheeky grin. "Once you know what someone wants, it's easy to manipulate them if you can make them think you're the only one that can provide it."

Lisbon's POV

Jane was smiling at her, but her internal alarm was triggered.

"Jane, is that what you're doing now... with me?"

"Of course…" he said with a half-smile and inquisitive eyes.

"What?"

"Don't look so alarmed, my dear. I want to give you what you want because it will get me what I want… you. It's a simple exchange."

She searched his eyes not knowing what she was looking for. He came closer, took her hands in his, and skootched down to look her in the eyes.

"Tell me what you're thinking. I can't make it right unless I know."

She was afraid to dig too deep because she didn't know what she'd uncover. A different picture was forming in her mind with this new information. She was sure that he loved her in his way, that she was important to him and that the thought of losing her had been the catalyst for this relationship. But… thinking back, his first course of action had been to get her a better position in Austin; when that didn't work, he tried to break up her relationship with Marcus and when that didn't work, he inserted himself as a romantic partner in her life... but it had been the last resort.

Her heart sank as she realized that if everything had remained status quo, he never would have made a move on her and they would have remained just friends regardless of his feelings for her. That's why he still wore his ring; he didn't truly want to move on, he just didn't want to lose her. These things weren't the same.

Sadly, there was no point laying this out on the table because he would just deny it... his wedding ring was all the proof she needed to support her conclusion.

"Teresa?"

Concerned marred his face. She didn't want to spoil their evening with harsh truths that would lead her nowhere she wanted to be. She would enjoy her time with him and take whatever he could give and if or when it fell apart, she'd be okay... she just needed to ensure that she kept some distance and didn't integrate their lives too much, as she planned.

"It's okay," she said with a genuine smile.

His eyes questioned hers, but he let it go. They started walking again but she still felt unsettled and suddenly she realized why. She halted her step, grabbing his hand to get him to turn towards her.

"Look... I know you well enough to know that when you're running a con, you're playing a role. I don't want that from you-"

"That's not what I'm doing-" he assured her gently.

"Isn't it?" she said, raising her hand to indicate that she had more to say. "I want you to be yourself and not a version of you that you think I want."

"Nobody ever truly wants that," he chuckled.

"I do. I want the real Patrick Jane. Not your many versions of him or the version you think I want."

"Who really knows their true version... we all play different parts... at work, at home, with friends, with family-"

"I'm serious, Jane."

"How about you start calling me Patrick," he said cheekily.

She'd been slipping she realized… she leaned into him briefly and apologized, saying his name. He smiled, his eyes dancing with mischief.

"So, you want the real me?"

"Yes. The real Patrick Jane."

"Hum."

"What does that mean... hum?"

"You've seen the real Patrick Jane, you just don't particularly like a lot of his traits."

"That's not true! I like you! Very much and it has nothing to do with this value proposition hogwash you were talking about either. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't be with you and I wouldn't have stood by you the way I did. If you are trying to be what you think I want, don't... I just want you. I might not like all of it… but I can handle it… always have. Have I ever run away after all the stunts you pulled? No! I'm not perfect either. This is not going to work between us if you're not yourself."

He was about to say something but she wasn't done and interrupted him.

"And you know what else, mister," she said jabbing her finger in his chest gently. "I wouldn't change a thing about you. You drive me crazy… but it's the good and the bad that makes you… you, and that's all I want... the real you… all the time."

He chuckled and a bright heart-stopping smile broke across his face.

"Yes, ma'am," he said in a bad Texan drawl and a mock salute.

He took her hand and they strolled together again in silence. She loved holding his hand; it was always warm and strong. The gesture itself was more intimate for her than sex when it came to him because it felt like the act invisibly linked their hearts.

The gravel from the pathway crunched under their feet in a hypnotic rhythm as the chirping of the birds and evening wildlife making their calls joined in. They hadn't gone very far when his voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Did you like the real me last night?"

His teasing tone made her look up at him and the knowing look he gave her sent jolts of awareness shooting through her body. They hadn't kissed yet tonight and she now longed for his touch and his taste. His eyes were twinkling at her and she couldn't help but grin widely at him.

"So, you weren't role-playing?" she asked, playing along to see where he took it.

"Not in the least," he said suggestively.

"Hum... well... that's definitely not a side of you that you should hide from me," she returned in a flirty tone.

"You'd like a repeat performance?"

"Oh, yes."

He gave her a little smile and stopped her in the middle of the path.

"I want to kiss you."

"Me too."

His eyes darted around quickly and fixed back on hers with a tiny smile. He was leaving it up to her. She knew they were all alone except for a skeleton crew of staff for the evening but she appreciated his discretion. She leaned in with a smile and his eyes popped in surprise, then he kissed her sweetly. She missed having consistent access to him the last few days; her body ached to be in constant contact with him. As his taste infused on her tongue, the heat of his body warmed her, his scent enveloped her and the texture of his curly hair tickled her palm, her entire being sighed in relief at being able to finally assuage her need.

"I missed you," she said when the kiss ended.

She hadn't meant to say it that out loud and she felt herself blush. He stroked her cheek with his thumb cupping her neck with his warm hand.

"I missed you, too," he said, gazing into her eyes.

He kissed her softly again, then let her go, taking her hand to walk again. He started talking about the various plants and flowers they passed and she observed him openly, taking in all his features and mannerisms, as he spoke; the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, the movement of his lips when he spoke, the timbre of his voice, his cute dimples and his perfect but slightly crooked smile. She couldn't get enough of him. It was while she was listing all his adorable features that she realized something she hadn't considered before... she certainly couldn't be the first woman to be this wrapped up in him. He's what one would call a heartbreaker; he had the looks and the game. He must've left behind quite a bit of broken hearts in his past... or maybe in the very recent past, she thought, thinking of Kim and that tiny smile when she talked about her date with Jane. She still wondered if something happened between them. He must've had partners over the years, people they worked with, or suspects, she remembered the latter sourly.

"How many women have you had?"

Jane's POV

That was not what he'd been expecting her to say when he asked her what she thought of the blossom tree and its origin. She obliviously had been thinking about something else than the topic he'd been discussing.

"That's an interesting question," he said with caution. "Why do you want to know?"

"Why not? We're getting to know each other, right? It's a normal question."

This was not an innocent question, something else was at play. He could tell by her tone of voice.

"Do you want to know because you're interested in the number of partners I've had or are you hoping my answer will address a more specific question you don't want to ask?"

Her eyes darted around the landscape in front of them and he knew he'd hit pay dirt.

"It's just a question."

"It's a loaded one and I think we should talk about what's really bothering you instead of entering this numbers exercise."

"So, you don't want to tell me."

"It's not a good idea. You don't know what you're asking. Do you want to share how many sexual partners you've had?"

"If you want to know, I will."

"I don't understand. Why does this matter to you? It's the past."

"Because I want to know."

"To answer your question would only lead to something you don't want to know."

"Oh my god... how bad is it?"

He let out a long breath and paused mid-stride, turning his body towards hers.

"What is really going on here? Is this about Simms again?"

"No! It's a normal question that couples ask."

"Teresa... just ask the question that is sitting right there on your tongue. My answer will not satisfy you unless you ask the right question."

"Fine! Did you sleep with anyone at work? That- that we work with."

"Who do you imagine I slept with?"

"Can you just answer the question?"

"No, I haven't had sex with anyone we work with."

"Kissed?"

"No... now will you tell me what this is about?"

"Have you been on a date with anyone we work with, besides Simms?"

This was about Fischer; she knew.

"Ah. Kim told you about our date on the island."

"Yes."

"Did she tell you that something happened between us?"

"No."

"But you didn't believe her?"

"Something made me think that maybe... she didn't say so either way."

"Are you satisfied with my answer?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now we can move on."

"No... I still want to know how many women you've been with."

"And I still say that it's not a good idea."

"I want to know. It's important to me."

He knew if he told her the truth it would upset her. At the same time, he was committed to building trust with her.

"You don't know what you're asking."

"I do. If you want, I'll start," she offered eagerly.

"I don't want to know how many partners you've had."

He could already guess it was many and it didn't matter to him at all. She crossed her arms and gave him a pointed look.

"You probably think that I've had a ton, but that would be wrong. I think we should know these things about each other."

They stared at each other for a few seconds in showdown style; he would have to face the music, he realized.

"Okay... fine. Go ahead," he said graciously.

"Ummm... let me see."

She was counting in her head and his stomach was souring; he just hoped he could salvage the evening after this discussion.

"Nine."

She was watching him expectantly and he braced himself for what was about to occur.

"Three."

"Three?"

"Yes, three."

"Other than your wife and me?"

"No... including my wife and you."

"And Lorelei," she said quietly.

She spun around, but not quickly enough to hide the pained look on her face. She started picking at the leaves on a flower bush in front of her. He knew this was a sensitive subject, hence the reason he hadn't wanted to enter the discussion.

"Teresa-"

"Did you love her? She-"

"No," he interrupted not wanting to discuss this subject any longer.

"How many times?"

He expelled a frustrated breath as this whole subject was souring the evening.

"Once," he said abruptly.

She turned and held his gaze. The next question was important to her because she was watching him as she would a suspect.

"Did you wear protection?"

His eyes narrowed on her in curiosity. It was years ago and the woman was dead. He couldn't fathom why this was important to her, but then he realized that for Lisbon, the act without protection was considered intimate to her and she was probably trying to figure out if he was lying about his lack of feelings for Lorelei.

"I did and you should also know that I didn't even finish; I couldn't risk it," he said softly. Then he took her hands and held them in his. "Teresa... here me when I say this... she was a means to an end. The cost of playing his sick game in the hopes that I could finally end it. She meant nothing to me and I don't think we should continue discussing it."

He hated remembering that part of his life. It brought back the guilt and disgust he felt and the devastating failure that followed. He kept his features as neutral as possible wanting to ensure she read in his features that this discussion was over.

"Sorry... I guess I brought the mood down and-"

Dammit. He remembered how upset she'd been because she'd been listening in on his interview. He had to make sure she didn't carry any more doubts around that situation.

"No. I'm sorry. It's my biggest regret… but I can't change it."

She nodded and he knew it would be okay. He walked them over to a bench swing and pulled her against him. They both gently moved the swing, watching the breeze blow through the tulips.

"So… just me and your wife?"

He chuckled and she smiled at him.

"You didn't think I'd just let that go, did you?"

He shrugged wordlessly.

"I don't understand... I figured..."

"That there'd been more?" he filled in.

"I guess. There'd been women over the years that I thought you'd been with."

"Interesting."

"What is?"

"That you thought I got around."

"Not around… just more than what you said."

"What were you expecting? Be honest."

"I don't know…"

"Come on."

"I thought there would have been at least one or two before you met your wife and a couple after," she shrugged.

"I can see that, but no. I met Angela when I was sixteen; it was love at first sight. That was it for me but she was less than impressed," he remembered with a chuckle. "She didn't give me the time of day for almost two years and I didn't see her for months at a time."

"Why didn't you date other girls? Two years is a long time."

"She had my heart. No other girl compared, no other girl would do. She's all I thought about and all I wanted."

"And after… I know it took you a long time to get over your wife," her eyes shot to his face. "That didn't come out right. Of course, you didn't get over her."

Her eyes shot to his ring briefly but she continued her thought with rapid speech.

"I mean… I thought you might be lonely… Kim said you're the one that asked her out. This is not coming out right. I guess I thought you would've sought out companionship on the island and you did, Kim-"

"Teresa… slow down," he said holding her hand and waiting for her to make eye contact again. "It's okay. My wife is gone. You didn't say anything wrong."

He smiled at her to put her at ease.

"I didn't date on the island because I wasn't interested. Kim… she was an American, smart, spoke English. She seemed interested and I thought why not. I was bored and needed to change the humdrum of my daily life. Kim was nice and we had a good time, but something was off. I put myself into an altercation with thugs to avoid finishing the date."

Lisbon's POV

"What kind of altercation?"

"They beat me."

"Wow, you really wanted to get out of that date."

She reached for his hand, their fingers intertwining loosely.

"Thank you for being straight with me. You could've lied, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference."

"I want this to work between us."

She believed him. At this moment she could pretend that they were a normal couple getting to know each other and that everything would work itself out. The way he was looking at her made her want to reveal all her secrets and her self-preservation instincts were not kicking in.

"Letters," she blurted out before she lost her nerve. "The box… it's letters."

His facial expression turned inquisitive and she wondered why he wasn't saying anything. Didn't he hear what she'd just said?

"Why aren't you saying anything?"

"Ummm… maybe you could elaborate or do you want me to guess why these letters needed such intense protection from me?" he said with a bit of amusement.

She'd been so afraid of losing her nerve that she wasn't sure what she'd said but he was obviously confused so she'd missed something. She took a deep breath. She hated this feeling of vulnerability.

"The box contains the letters you wrote me while on the island," she said more clearly, making sure she provided all the information this time.

"Okay."

"Okay, what? What are you thinking?"

She was feeling very exposed.

"I don't want to guess, Teresa. I've done too much of that over the years. I want you to tell me why you're so uncomfortable sharing this with me."

Now she wanted to bolt but she fought the urge.

"I don't know."

She did but she couldn't say it. She couldn't say that she didn't want to give him ammo to use against her, to break down her defenses. That she'd read his letters regularly, missing him with a longing she couldn't fulfill no matter how many times she read them. She escaped into those too short letters; for a moment he was a part of her life again and she could hold him in her heart. Whenever she missed him, she could visit with him through his words on a page. That the Patrick in those letters took on a whole other meaning to her. She also couldn't voice the fear that she'd felt that each new letter she received might be the last.

"Teresa… it's okay. Let's start small. You kept my letters?"

"Yes, I did."

"I didn't realize that. What did you think of them?"

She felt herself relax a bit. This conversation she could handle.

"They were nice. I was relieved to know you were okay and you seemed happy. Did you write anyone else?"

"No… just you," he said with a shrug. "C'mon… let's walk."

They got up from the swing and headed down the path again. The evening was darkening and tiny lights along the path lit up.

"Just me? Why?"

He shrugged as they walked together.

"There was no one else I cared to write to."

She searched her brain and she surmised that it made sense. He'd never been close to Rigsby, Cho, or VanPelt; they were friendly, but he didn't seek them out and to her knowledge, he didn't have any other friends during their time at the CBI. It was also clear that he'd lost touch with his old friends from the circuit. She always suspected that he was alone after his family died and that she was the closest thing he had to family.

"You never gave me a return address or a way to contact you. For a while, I thought you were sending me a coded message but I couldn't find one."

"Oh, I thought about it," he chuckled. "But to what end?"

Her ridiculous romantic fantasy that he'd been trying to summon her during that time was officially put to rest with his words. She'd figured out long ago that there was no message or he would have made one that she could crack. But I guess a small part of her had still been holding on to that hope. She pasted on a smile not wanting to show her disappointment.

"How did you know I was getting them?"

"I just assumed."

"Why did you keep writing me after the first letter? That was a bit risky."

"Didn't want you thinking you were rid of me," he jested, with a huge smile. "You didn't think I'd let you off the hook that easy, did you?"

His mischievous eyes danced with mirth. She was hoping he'd tell her she hadn't been so delusional all this time that she'd completely misunderstood the hidden meaning in his letters. They were barely walking at this point, stopping near a beautiful flower display with twinkle lights.

"You were different... in the letters," she added, testing the waters.

"How?" he asked, looking down at her inquisitively.

She shrugged not wanting to expose herself further.

"You were just... different."

He inspected her with a half-smile and she saw further confirmation that she'd misunderstood everything about his letters.

"C'mon, tell me more," he chuckled.

"Forget it," she said with a gesture of her hand.

She took his hand and started walking with him again.

"So… my letters… why didn't you want me to know about them?"

She took a deep breath. It was too difficult to say out loud and she knew he would draw the correct conclusion if he viewed the contents himself. That option felt safer. They didn't have to talk about it after.

"How about I just give you the box when we get back," she offered.

"Okay."

Jane's POV

Getting Lisbon to open up was quite the exercise in patience and he could sense he'd taken her as far to her limit tonight and that he had to quit while ahead.

"Jane!" she shrieked. "Bee!"

A bee was buzzing around her.

"Don't move. It's not interested in you," he said remaining completely still himself. "It's just confused... obviously lost its way to the nest for the evening. Just stay calm."

Suddenly the bee came at him and he panicked, as it flew at his face. He tried to shoo it away with his hands backing away quickly from it. He tripped and she caught him before he fell helping him restore his footing.

The bee flew away to his relief, but Teresa was obviously amused by the incident. She kept laughing every time she looked at him, making her eyes water.

"'Stay calm' he says," as she laughed again, her eyes twinkling at him.

"It came right at me!" he defended half-heartedly and chuckling with her.

"It was very aggressive in its attack on you," she said through her laughter, trying to catch her breath. Then she replicated his gestures as the bee flew at him and she lost her breath as she laughed again.

"Okay, okay," he said, chuckling himself.

She took a few deep breaths trying to regain her equilibrium.

"Good thing I was here to save you… again," she chuckled softly.

"Excuse me... I saved you, woman. I drew its aggressive attack my way," he corrected with a chuckle.

"Oh… is that how it happened? I stand corrected. I guess we saved each other."

She went up on her tiptoes and kissed him chastely.

"I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard. Added a bit of excitement to our evening if anything," she added.

"I guess the gardens aren't as exciting as the arcade. Maybe I should've picked something a bit more stimulating."

She chuckled, looking at him from under her lashes.

"You're all the excitement I need, trust me."

"You find me exciting?"

He was intrigued by this.

"That surprises you?" she asked with a frown of confusion across her brow.

He shrugged.

"I knew you found me 'interesting' but exciting… I had no idea"

"Come on… seriously?"

He shrugged again to show his complete surprise.

"You're very unpredictable-"

"And you like that," he confirmed and stored it in his memory.

He thought she didn't like that about him. Pike had been so boring and predictable; he figured it was her preference.

"I must, I'm with you, aren't I?"

He chuckled at her exaggerated resigned sigh.

"C'mon," he said pulling her to a patch of soft grass surrounded by wildflowers.

He laid down on his back and patted the area beside him.

"I'm not laying in the grass with you."

"Come on… please."

"It's probably damp at this time of night."

"Don't be such a princess," he goaded.

"I'm not a princess. I'm just being practical and-"

"High maintenance; I had no idea you'd be like that."

"You know what… you think you're goading me… but I'll have you know that yes… I am high maintenance… and don't you forget it. I won't settle for less than what I deserve!"

"Tell me more," he asked, raising himself on his elbows to watch her.

She had her hands on her hips and she looked ready to pounce on anything he said. All he got was a panicked stare.

He shrugged out of his jacket and laid it on top of the grass.

"There… now you won't get wet. Please… sit with me."

"I don't want to ruin your jacket."

He patted the soft lining of the inside of his jacket.

"All good. Nothing a good dry cleaner can't fix. You can pay for it if it makes you feel better."

She nodded and sat beside him.

"Thank you."

"See… chivalry is alive and well, Teresa."

He punctuated his statement with a peck on her lips. He laid back down on his back, putting one arm behind his head for support and the other around her, his hand resting on her lower calf as he tucked her sitting form closer to him.

"It's beautiful out here," she said with quiet amazement. "Thank you for doing all this."

"You're welcome."

They talked for a while about random topics and he let her lead the conversation curious about where it would go. It was a practice he used a lot on marks because it worked to get people to open up. They either avoided an obvious flow between topics or spent too much time in one… either way, they both signaled something important to the mark. He smiled when the topic changed to her family out of the blue. She rarely spoke of them.

"My brother won't stop pestering me about coming over for his son's christening. It's just exhausting. I tried to explain that it's hard to fly all the way to Chicago just for an afternoon. Karen has a huge family and they're so busy running around anyway... I don't even get to spend time with anyone. I don't see the point."

She was absentmindedly plucking the grass beside her. He could tell this event was bothering her and she felt a lot of guilt for not wanting to go.

"Not to mention this is his fifth kid in nine years. I was just at the christening for Brian last year! He makes me feel like a bad sister but I don't see why he needs me to stand at the back of the church for one hour just to get back on a plane after."

"Five kids. That's a handful."

"They're renovating our parent's old house because they don't have enough room for all the kids. I don't know how Karen handles it all with my brother working all the time."

She was getting more aggressive with the grass, tossing it to the side.

"Does sound busy."

"Did you want a big family?"

He let the question sit for a bit thinking about his answer. It had been so long since he'd thought about that. Teresa abandoned the grass and started smoothing out an invisible wrinkle on his pants.

"Angela wanted a big family; five, six kids. It was traditional in her circle. She only had one brother because her mother couldn't have anymore. But she grew up with several cousins and she wanted a similar experience for Charlotte. Me… I thought one was enough. Not sure I would've considered having a family at all if it weren't for her insistence… my experience of family wasn't a good one. But Charlotte was the best thing to ever happen to me."

His mind immediately jumped to the fact that Angela was pregnant when she died. He hadn't known. They'd been arguing about adding to their family and he'd wanted to get a vasectomy. She must've gone off her birth control before the discussion thinking he'd be happy once he found out and she would've been right.

"You liked being a dad?"

"I loved it. Charlotte was an amazing child. But I guess all parents think that."

Teresa shivered and he realized the night air was cooling.

"C'mon, let's get up. You're cold."

They got up and he draped his jacket over her shoulders and pulled her against his side to keep her warm as they walked.

"You have a great way with kids. I always admired that about you."

"Kids are simple and uncomplicated. They just want someone to listen to them and care about what they care about."

Her body suddenly tensed up. He could sense she was working her way to something and it had to do with children. He already figured out she was infertile and that's why birth control wasn't an issue. When he had time to think about it further, he remembered that sometimes the most obvious answer was also the correct one even if it seemed unlikely. Looking at the evidence available; Lisbon wouldn't try to get pregnant without consulting him and she wouldn't risk an accident either. She also always used protection with her other partners, so he estimated that this news was very recent. Although he knew and was relieved that she didn't want to get pregnant, he wanted Teresa to tell him herself about her condition. Maybe she was unsure of his reaction; she'd been keeping the subject on kids and he figured she was trying to gauge if he wanted a family. Perhaps if he gave her clarity on that subject, she'd feel more comfortable sharing her news but before he could put her at ease, she asked him the question she'd been dancing around.

"Is that something you would want again?" she asked hesitantly. "To be a father."

"No," he said simply.

Her step faltered a bit and her body tensed up again but then she relaxed again.

"What about you? Do you want a family?"

He knew they were both on the same wavelength when it came to kids. She never showed any interest in them.

"No," was her quiet reply. "I guess you figured it out already… I can't have kids."

"It's the only thing that made sense."

She nodded softly. He changed the subject to something lighter and they chatted amicably until they reached the gazebo for their picnic.

Lisbon's POV

Jane held her hand as they ate and that small gesture made her heart melt. She loved being with him like this. Their conversations always flowed so easily and their moments of silence were never awkward.

The small gazebo was surrounded by twinkling lights and soft music played in the background. Their meal consisted of finger foods and included an extensive charcuterie board. Jane poured the last of the red wine into her empty glass; he'd switched to water after his first glass because he was driving them home.

She took a sip and he smiled at her. She was already feeling tipsy and her tongue was looser than usual. She prayed she didn't embarrass herself. She always made a point of not drinking too much around Jane and old habits died hard.

She took another bite of apple and cheese and leaned back in her chair. She was feeling too full. Jane was looking at something directly ahead of him and she watched his profile wondering what he was thinking about.

She wasn't surprised that Jane had figured out her infertility situation. She also expected the answer he provided about not wanting to have more children. What she hadn't counted on was her feeling of disappointment. All her life, she never wanted kids. She always saw them as a burden that she didn't want to carry and she knew it was because she had to mother her brothers and be responsible for their care at a very young age. When Marcus said he wanted a family, she'd been open to preserving her fertility in case she changed her mind, but she didn't see herself having a family with him. But looking at the man sitting beside her now… it was different. She wanted to have a child with him which she found very confusing because it made no sense. Her view on children still hadn't changed. She still thought children were too much responsibility, the thought of having one still scared her, and she didn't get them. Not to mention the fact that she wasn't even sure their relationship would last. So why did she keep having this unwelcome feeling since becoming lovers?

"All done?" he asked, breaking through her thoughts.

"Oh, yes. No more room," she said patting her belly.

"Are you okay? You seemed far away just now."

"I'm better than okay. Thank you for this wonderful evening," she punctuated with a kiss on his lips.

"Ready to go home?"

She nodded and they got ready to go.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this date-night chapter. Drop me a comment and let me know what you think and stay tuned for the next chapter... Jane gets to open the box and it's not what he expected. Do you want to venture a guess?