A/N: Hi everyone - so sorry to have been out of touch all this time. It's been a crazy busy summer with work and kids and it was difficult to find the time to get to our story. Also... I was stuck on a scene/plot for weeks because I couldn't get it right. I am finishing this story but it was crucial that I got the next chapter right and that took time. I'm posting this chapter now and the next one should be ready soon. Again... I'm so sorry. I wish this platform allowed for better communication between us, but it doesn't.

Chapter 15

Jane's POV

"Are we still keeping our love a secret?" Jane asked cheekily as she parked at the unfamiliar breakfast place.

He was being cheesy on purpose because she was distracted, and he wanted her attention.

She frowned, momentarily confused by his question while she concentrated on her parking. Then she flashed him a tiny incredulous smile and rolled her eyes.

"I hadn't given it much thought, really."

"It was nice last night not having to watch our every move," he said in reference to their date in the garden.

"It was," she conceded, but she looked uncertain.

"How about this… we probably don't know anyone here. How about we try it out and see how you feel."

Her eyes watched the door and the patrons of the breakfast place as she contemplated his suggestion.

"Okay," she responded after some coaxing.

They exited her car, and he grabbed her hand. She took a deep breath and then smiled up at him.

"I love you," he said, not tiring of saying it.

"I love you, too," she responded with the words he loved to hear.

He knew he was smiling at her goofily, but he couldn't help it. He'd finally broken through her defenses last night and gotten what he'd been wanting for weeks.

"Why you smiling like that?" she asked with a toothy grin.

"I'm smiling because I finally broke through your hard veneer only to find out you're all mushy inside."

"That's what you think!"

"That's what I know," he said with absolute certainty and stole a kiss.

Lisbon's POV

They were seated quickly in the busy restaurant. It was bustling with families and couples, and the sound of various conversations created a loud hum throughout the establishment.

She'd driven an hour out of town after remembering her conversation with Wiley a while back that this was the best breakfast place. Jane loved his breakfast foods and she wanted to surprise him. As she pulled up, it became quite clear that it was a tourist trap and a popular spot for vacationing families and couples.

They were seated opposite each other at a table so tiny, that their knees touched underneath, but at least the chairs were comfortable. Jane held her hand as they waited for their menus. He was still smiling goofily at her, his eyes dancing with delight and she was enthralled by it, letting herself bask in his attention. She didn't need a mirror to know that she was probably wearing the same expression.

Jane made say her 'I love you' often and she could see how happy it made him to hear it. She was seeing a different side of him, more relaxed and playful which also came through in this morning's lovemaking.

He rubbed the top of her fingers with his thumb and her eyes followed the motion.

"This is nice, isn't it?" his honeyed voice brought her attention back to his handsome face.

She loved the sound of his voice, and she leaned in and kissed him chastely.

"Yes, it is," she agreed, tasting him on her lips.

He watched her tongue move across her lips and she caught a little flash of excitement in his eyes; his ardor from this morning apparently still burning.

The waitress arrived at that moment; she was perky and all smiles.

"My name's Zoe. Can I start you folks off with some coffee?"

"That'd be great, thank you."

"I'll have some tea."

She dropped the menus on the table and winked. A few seconds later, she returned with the coffee pot and the makings for his tea.

"You two look positively giddy… did you get away from the kids this weekend?" she remarked while she poured the hot liquid in her cup.

"Oh, no… we don't have kids," she responded distractedly.

"Oh… I know that look!" she exclaimed. "You're newlyweds… are you passing through for the day?"

"No, we're not married," she responded again a bit confused by the waitress's small talk.

But then the young woman's eyes darted to Jane's ring finger.

"Oh… sorry…. I'll be back to take your order," the young waitress responded, her cheeks burning red as she excused herself.

"I'm famished," he proclaimed to no one in particular.

Her eyes shot to Jane, but he was already reading the menu.

"Butter-my-biscuit, Clucking-taters, Buns-and-bites," he said, his eyes twinkling as he read out loud the funny names they gave their dishes.

"Jane… you know what she thinks, don't you?"

"Who?" he asked distractedly as he continued to smile at what he was reading.

"The waitress."

"What she thinks about what?"

"Us! It was all over her face!"

"And what was that?"

He was still engrossed in the menu, so she waited until his eyes met hers to continue.

"She thinks we're having an affair," she said in a hushed tone.

She indicated his ring with her eyes and looked back at his face. His smile went a bit crooked as he considered what she said. He looked amused by her concern.

"And…" he asked.

He obviously picked up on the same reaction she had but didn't care.

"What do you mean… and?"

"I mean, why does it matter? In her field of work a little interest in her patrons usually yields a good tip… she blundered… but in the end, she doesn't care."

"So, you don't care?"

"Not in the least."

Her heart pounded in her chest as he resumed reading the menu.

"Are you always going to wear it… your ring?"

She'd finally asked the question that was slowly eating away at her. She watched him for clues to his state of mind, but he didn't betray his thoughts. Instead, he frowned.

"Why would I take it off?"

And there was her answer. Her heart sank. The fact that he was wearing a wedding ring while in a relationship with her and that it didn't register as anything of note, showed her what her true status was in his life. Her pride came to the rescue and gave her a plausible response.

"Perception," she said as casually as she could.

He was observing her curiously.

"What perception?"

She hesitated, needing to choose her words carefully.

"If we continue like this, people will always assume we're having an affair."

His eyes pinned her, his lips twitching into an incredulous smile.

"Some, not all, and since when do you care what strangers think?"

He waited for her to add more but she couldn't form an adequate answer. He expelled a breath.

"Teresa," he prompted gently.

He placed the menu on the table between them and rested his elbows on top of it, reaching for her hands. Without realizing it, she put them under the table, and he frowned, sitting back in his chair, bringing his hands onto his lap. She saw a flicker of sadness in his eyes, but she couldn't fix it… the damage was done.

"People are always going to think what they want," he said with a soft but exasperated tone. "You know that."

"But they won't if we keep things private between us," she said carefully.

He rubbed his thighs and adjusted himself in his chair. He was about to say something when the young waitress returned to take their order.

He cleared his throat to get the waitress's attention.

"As much as it annoys me to discuss my personal life, my girlfriend feels uncomfortable that you might have concluded that we're having an affair. I'm a widower," he provided simply.

The young woman blushed redder than before and looked thoroughly embarrassed.

"We'll need a few more minutes," he added, dismissing her from their table.

"That was completely unnecessary…"

"I agree. It's a useless exercise to try and change how people think because now she believes we're trying to cover up an illicit affair."

He was right… but this situation wouldn't have arisen if he'd been ringless. At the same time, she didn't feel like she had the right to request that he remove his ring. She was stuck and remained quiet, thinking.

"Why is this really bothering you?" he asked, breaking into her thoughts.

She didn't know how to express her feelings about his ring without exposing herself to further rejection or being insensitive to his trauma. The truth was that her gut twisted every time she felt his ring or saw it when they made love. She avoided cuddling with him on her right side because he'd hold her hand with his left making his ring prominent and she'd fall asleep feeling like a consolation prize. To her, his ring contradicted every word he said about wanting a relationship with her and just acted as a reminder that he didn't want to move on.

There was no point continuing this conversation until she sorted herself out.

"I think I just need a bit more time to get used to all of this."

He frowned but didn't question her. A few seconds passed then he expelled a long breath and muttered 'ok' then quickly returned his attention to the menu.

"You're upset."

"Why would I be upset? We're at a nice restaurant, I have a nice cup of tea and I'm in good company with my dear old pal, Lisbon," he added the last bit as a dig and moved his chair back so his knees wouldn't touch hers anymore.

The waitress appeared and he placed his order while she settled for toast since her stomach was suddenly acting up from the tension between them.

"You asked me to try it… I did… and I'm not ready. You don't get to be mad at me," she accused when the waitress left.

"You're right… I did say that," he said, resolutely. "But that's not what all this is about and instead of shutting me out, I wish you'd talk to me."

"I just don't feel comfortable being open in public while you wear your ring."

"Because of what strangers will think?"

"Yes."

He shook his head, then pushed his hand through his hair.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes… okay."

"So, you're okay with this?"

"No… but I accept it."

They stared at each other for a few seconds, and she felt at a loss on how to get back to the pleasantness of their morning earlier. They both fell silent and looked outside through the bay window.

When the food arrived, he started talking about the weather and she wanted to scream. He was distant and was treating her like he used to before they became involved… like good old Lisbon. She felt raw and the tension inside her continued to build as the meal wore on. Nausea made an appearance towards the end, and she found herself contemplating her escape plan to the bathroom if her stomach didn't settle.

"Jane? Please… just talk to me," she asked unable to stand the tension anymore, hoping to calm her nerves and stomach.

"I am but you don't seem interested in the topics I selected."

"You know what I mean."

"Okay… what's the real reason you're not ready?"

"I already said."

He expelled a long breath and pushed his plate to the side.

"I thought we were done with this, Teresa. I thought we were going to be honest with each other."

"I am being honest."

He feathered his fingers lightly on the table watching her.

"No… you're not."

"I am."

She felt her cheeks flush with ire. People didn't have to be 100% honest all the time; that would cause chaos. There was no point telling the truth because she had no right to ask him to remove his ring and he'd already made it clear it was not something he wanted to do. And… she gave him a plausible reason for not being ready to flaunt their relationship publicly.

He shook his head, and she straightened her shoulders to stand her ground.

"So… the solution you want is for me to take off my ring."

"I would never force you-"

"But you are. That's what you're asking but you won't own up to-"

"I'm not asking you to, I'm just explaining-"

"But if I don't, we will continue as we have been."

"Jane-"

"I can't give you this," he interrupted.

"I didn't ask," she interrupted in return, protecting her pride and cutting off the rest of what he was about to say.

Her heart was racing; how had everything deteriorated so fast? They were both upset and she could barely remember what had been said between them. His eyes darted around and she followed his gaze. They both noticed at the same time that they had garnered attention from curious eyes and so they both went mum.

A few minutes went by with her picking at her toast pretending to eat while he stared out the window. Their argument wasn't sitting well with her but she didn't know what to say.

"Okay. How about this?" he said quietly, his eyes intent on her. "We'll tell our friends, but we'll keep it discreet in public."

Her heart rate accelerated. The thought of telling their friends and colleagues about their relationship immediately raised her anxiety because if anyone knew about his past and the significance of his ring, it would be them. When they saw that he was still wearing his ring while in a relationship with her they would pity her because they'd know the truth; that she was just the other woman and would always be. She couldn't stand to be pitied and just the thought of it made her feel worse.

She got up as her toasts came back to haunt her and she rushed for the washroom. When she got there, she heaved a few times, but her breakfast remained where it was. She was sweating, so she splashed some cold water on her face and dried it. All the tension between them was making her physically sick.

When she returned to the table, Jane had already paid the bill.

"Are you okay? You look pale," he asked with concern.

"I'm fine," she answered tightly not wanting to rehash their conversation in the restaurant.

They walked silently to her car. He got in and stared out the passenger window.

Jane's POV

"I'll bring you home. I have a few things to do," she lied but he didn't call her out on it.

"Alright," he responded.

They had planned to spend the day together, but he needed time to think so he played along.

He watched the scenery as it sped by trying to understand what had just happened. He thought he'd just been dealing with the perception issue around his ring and being open in public but when he suggested telling their friends about their relationship, it was very clear she didn't want to do that either.

He looked at her discreetly through his eyelashes; she appeared tense as she drove. He refocused on the scenery, his thoughts consumed again with what happened. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that he was back to square one with her. He thought he'd had a breakthrough last night; that she finally trusted him, but he'd been mistaken.

"You're having doubts about us."

She paused a moment before answering with a soft 'no' but her voice betrayed her. They fell into silence again.

She regained her voice a while later when they arrived at his place.

"Jane… I just need a bit more time."

"Of course… more time. No problem. Take all the time you need," he placated.

He exited the car with a heavy heart.

"See you tomorrow?" she asked, seeming to need reassurance.

He nodded, making only brief eye contact, and headed towards his trailer. Suddenly, she was at his heel.

"I'm sorry," she said, her features drawn in sadness.

He wanted to be understanding but he was too exhausted from trying to break through her defenses and at a loss on how to succeed.

"It's alright," he said, heading for his trailer again.

"No. It's not. You're upset."

He shrugged and turned to face her again. He was met with guarded green eyes… her defenses were back up. Disappointment and a deep tiredness settled over him like a suffocating cloak. For the first time since they started their relationship, he conceded he may have made a mistake in pursuing her. He was obviously not what she needed. Maybe they had too much baggage.

"I think you're right… we're moving too fast, and we should both take some time to think things through."

His response upset her but there was no point dancing around what was happening. He wanted to comfort her. His arms ached to reach out and hold her. But he knew that although she was close enough to touch, she was miles away emotionally. He needed physical distance from her to reflect the reality of their situation, so he continued his progress to his trailer door.

"Jane?"

He heard the panic in her voice and turned slightly towards her.

"I love you."

Her words didn't comfort him. He finally understood her hesitation around them. Without her trust, they felt hollow. He nodded curtly unable to respond to her.

"Is this it?" she asked breathlessly.

He heard the catch in her voice. He wanted to reassure her but couldn't.

"Let's just give ourselves some space," he said without facing her.

Then he forced his legs to carry him to his door and entered.

Lisbon's POV

She rushed to her car and left as quickly as she could as tears overwhelmed her. Did they just break up? He didn't say 'I love you' back and it caught her by surprise. It hurt. Her heart was aching, her chest was tight, and she could barely breathe.

A wave of nausea hit her, and she pulled over; this time her breakfast ended up in the grass on the shoulder of the highway.

She drove around aimlessly for hours before going home exhausted. She felt so lonely entering her empty house.

Her messed-up bed mocked her as she crawled under the sheets and breathed in his scent that still clung to the sheets. She wanted to call him and beg him to come hold her and that need scared her to death. She shouldn't need him that much; she was in too deep. She had to protect herself. Why did she let him into her heart? She knew he would break it… she knew it would hurt like hell.

A/N: The next chapter is longer and coming up in a few days. The double-date comes back to wreak havoc with Jane and Lisbon and you'll learn more details about the explosion that happened to Lisbon.