Disclaimer – JKR has created the characters and, in particularly, the nifty magical devices of the Harry Potter world. They are such fun to play with, but I don't own them.

18 – Pensive

Hermione stepped out of the front parlor and paused in the front hall, careful to make no noise as she did. Walburga Black's heavy, steady breathing meant that she was asleep. Hermione didn't want to disturb her, but she needed a moment to think.

She'd run into Professor McGonagall as soon as she got back to Grimmauld Place. They'd only been able to speak for a few minutes when Kingsley Shaklebolt stepped out of a meeting with someone in the upstairs parlor. She excused herself from the professor, then she and Shaklebolt stepped into the front parlor for a private conversation.

The meeting with Shaklebolt had gone well. He was, of course, shocked by what she had to say about Hestia Jones, but asked her not to discuss this development with anyone else, for the time being. He would tell a couple of his most trusted Aurors and make sure that they tailed her at all times, but he liked her idea of planting some misinformation at the Ministry and didn't want to risk having an exposed spy call the operation into question. He gave her permission to tell Harry and Ron about the raid, and they arranged to meet to make more specific plans that afternoon.

Now it was time for the conversation she was really dreading. She needed to talk to Harry. First, she'd grab a cup of tea and pull her thoughts together.

As she stepped into the kitchen, she was surprised to see Harry already sitting at the table, sipping from a mug and looking barely conscious.

"Harry, I need to tell you I'm . . . ."

"Hermione, I was looking for you to . . . ."

They both spoke at the same time, then both stopped. After a moment of silence Hermione said "Okay, you go first."

"Hermione, I've been looking for you. I need to tell you I'm sorry. Ginny's dying to see you and she's furious with me for blaming you because she went on a raid."

Hermione felt as though a great weight she hadn't even realized she'd been carrying was suddenly lifted off her shoulders. She sank into the chair next to Harry and let out a quick sigh.

"Oh Harry, I hate it when we fight. I was so scared about Ginny, and I knew you'd hate me forever if something happened to her."

"No, I wouldn't. I mean, I'm glad she's okay, more than glad, but I would've come to my senses even if . . . ."

"Let's just be happy that we don't have to find out how that would've worked out."

Harry nodded and smiled. "I am going to hate Malfoy forever. Sooner or later I'm going to catch up with that bastard and . . . ."

"Harry, I have to talk to you about something, something big." Hermione was pretty sure that once she told him about the raid on the Ministry he'd overlook the fact that she just cut off his ranting. It'd be so good to work with Harry and Ron again.

Later she'd talk to Harry about Malfoy, about letting him see some of Harry's memories, although she needed to make sure that Malfoy didn't mind if she let others in on his spying secret. For now, she'd skip the part about how Shaklebolt knew there was going to be a raid at the Ministry.

"Come on, Harry. Let's get Ron and I'll explain what Shaklebolt just told me."

Hermione could've happily talked to Harry and Ron all afternoon, but today was just too busy of a day for that. She had to excuse herself. "I should be able to tell you both about my special project soon," she said, and hoped that she was telling the truth.

She used the portkey Draco had given her. He was just about to dig into a large platter of sandwiches that Nappy had made and her stomach growled, much to her embarrassment.

"Help yourself," he said with a smirk and they ate in silence, Hermione being extra careful to eat neatly. Draco's impeccable manners made her self-conscious.

Once they were done Hermione resisted the urge to fidget and stared Draco right in the eyes as she said, "McGonagall said we can use the pensieve at Hogwarts. If we go now, she's still at a meeting at headquarters. We'll have to disillusion you, just in case, but we should be able to get in."

"Wait. If she knows I'm going with you why does it matter if she's gone when we get there?"

"She knows 'my contact' is going with me. She doesn't know it's you."

"You haven't told her?"

"Of course not. I haven't told anyone." He stared at her intently. What was his problem? She wasn't supposed to tell anyone.

"Can I get past the wards?"

"We can use the floo. There's a password and you'll have to be touching me when you go through." They could be professional about this, Hermione reassured herself. Of course, he wouldn't think she was making a pass at him. The fact that he'd held her while she had a bit of a breakdown didn't change anything. She was his handler. Suddenly that term took on a different meaning. She turned away from him to look through her bag, and to hide her blush.

She pulled out the pillbox. "Here. You should take a couple of these."

"I already did."

"They only last about 4 hours though. Unless . . . is your arm sore?"

"Yeah, but I thought . . . ." He stopped.

She shook her head. He probably just assumed Muggle pills didn't work very well. Typical wizard. "Let me check for a fever first. Nope. Good, but do take the antibiotic too."

"I have no idea what you're on about," he said, but he took the pills from her hand. He swallowed them quickly. She smirked at him. "Are you okay to travel? Or do you want me to do that numbing spell again?"

He smirked back at her and held out his arm. "Sure. What's the worst that could happen? You knock me out again and I get in another little nap."

"Torpentem," she waved her wand over his arm. She was starting to be more comfortable with this spell. "By the way, Shacklebolt liked our idea. I've got to get back in . . . ," she looked at her watch, "a couple of hours to meet with him again to go over the plans. Are you ready? We should hurry."

"I'm ready if you are." He held out his uninjured arm to her.

She placed her hand on top of his arm, wondering if this formal stance felt awkward to him. "Sorry, I've got to block your ears. You're not allowed to hear the password." He just nodded. She waved her wand, using her left hand since her right was holding his arm. She hoped he didn't see the slight tremor in her hand. This was no big deal. They were co-workers flooing together. She was only holding onto his hand, for a couple minutes, because they had to get past the wards. Another wave of her wand and he was disillusioned. Her hand seemed to be floating in midair. She tightened her grip on him, making sure he was still there, then loosened it again immediately. She hadn't meant to do that. Why was she so aware of warmth of his arm, the muscle she could feel beneath her fingers?

She threw the floo powder in and they stepped into the fireplace together. She wasn't used to floo travelling with someone else. There really wasn't much room. It was even stranger because she couldn't see him. Was he looking at her? "Hogwarts" she called out. There was no reason to try to analyze what part of him was pressed against her. It was just his side. She was too short to reach his shoulder, just his upper arm, and maybe a bit of his thigh against her own. She flexed her leg muscle, pulling it away from him.

They stepped out and she called out the password "Helga." Were her passwords always founders' names? Hermione waved her wand and gave him back his hearing. Then she realized that she was still holding onto his arm and dropped it quickly. She was used to being around Harry and Ron. Surely travelling like this with one of them, wouldn't have gotten her so flustered?

Before getting rid of the disillusionment spell on Draco, Hermione covered all the portraits, then did a silencing spell to keep them from listening in. "Sorry. I just . . . it's hard to know who we can trust." Just a few minutes later she'd gotten the pensieve out of the large black cabinet in McGonagall's office.

He didn't respond. He was already pointing his wand at his own head and drawing out a silvery thread of memory. He touched the tip of his wand to the surface of the pensieve and the silver of Malfoy's memory began to spin and tumble within the cloud-like substance within the basin. She'd have to ask him what spell he used for that – later.

"You ready, Granger?" She nodded and stepped toward the shallow stone pensieve. Just then she noticed the runes encircling the upper edge.

"Wait." She circled around it, translating in as she went. "Memory . . . is the mother . . . of all wisdom."

"What's that?"

"It's on here. It's a quote by Aeschylus. He was a writer in ancient Greece. He wrote . . . ."

"I know who Aeschylus was. You're not the only one who reads. Nice quote. Can we go now?"

Hermione nodded, not sure whether she should be more impressed or annoyed with him. Maybe neither since they had things they needed to get done. She caught his eye and they both reached forward with their wands to touch the moving silver-white surface of the memories in the pensieve. Harry had told Hermione that when she touched it she'd find herself pulled into whatever scene was waiting inside, but the sensation still caught her by surprise. As soon as they touched the surface, the substance began to swirl rapidly. Then she was looking down into a cave. She leaned forward and suddenly fell into the scene. Her arms flew out and all around her she passed through something ice cold and very dark. Then she found herself standing in the cave, surrounded by masked Death Eaters, Voldemort himself standing before her. She hadn't even had time to look around when the scene changed.

The cave seemed to dissolve into a mess of swirling colors and wind. Then there was a jolt. She saw Mulciber, just in front of her, he stumbled a bit, then regained his balance. Looking up, she saw lots of whiteness and long empty halls. She teetered back off balance, but Draco was behind her. His hands caught her, steadied her, one on her shoulder, one on her waist. As soon as she regained her composure, he let go, but leaned forward and said softly "Portkey," and then she understood. Now they were in St. Mungo's and the attack was beginning.

The empty hall filled quickly as various Death Eaters appeared. Hermione couldn't recognize many of them. They were covered by their cloaks, faces hidden behind leering metal masks. She did think she recognized the form of her former classmate, Goyle who appeared with two men, probably his father and Crabbe's father. Soon there were a couple dozen Death Eaters up and down the hall. Hermione felt her heart pounding. 'We're just watching. We're not really here,' she reminded herself.

A loud screeching keen began. Apparently, St. Mungo's had some sort of alarm system and they'd set it off. "Everyone stay on this floor. Petrify the first fourteen fools who respond," shouted Mulciber, even as he cast the first spell, dropping a nurse who hurried out of one of the rooms. Others took each end of the hall, while he strode over to the frozen woman.

There was a pop and the unmistakable figure of Bellatrix LeStrange appeared, her wild hair barely contained by her hood. "The fun begins!" she giggled.

"No, Bellatrix. Don't mess with them yet. Bring them to me," snapped Mulciber. Bellatrix said nothing, but turned and stalked off down a hall.

Mulciber pointed his wand at the petrified witch. "Imperio." In a few minutes his plan was obvious. He imperio'd hospital staff, sending two off to each floor to stupefy anyone they saw and blast the exits. Once they'd been sent off, a strange quiet settled over the floor, although various distressed calls could be heard from the patient rooms. Then there was a loud pained shriek from one of the patient rooms. Hermione and Draco followed as Mulciber hurried to find the source of the noise. They entered a room to find Bellatrix, mask now dangling around her neck, with her wand pointing at an elderly wizard. He'd apparently fallen out of his bed and was thrashing on the floor. Hermione realized she was crucio'ing him and started to avert her eyes, then she caught herself. She wasn't going to act like a squeamish little girl in front of Malfoy, although she couldn't stop the shudder that ran through her as she remembered the agony of that curse.

"I told you – wait! The Dark Lord will decide what to do with them. It's not time for games."

With an exaggerated eye roll, Bellatrix lowered her wand and pushed roughly past Mulciber into the hall, pulling her mask back up as she went. Hermione moved quickly to get out of her way, not wanting to touch even the memory of her. "Easy Granger," Malfoy whispered in her ear. She jerked around, ready to bite his head off for laughing at her, but there was no smile on his face and he too was eyeing his aunt warily.

Hermione followed Mulciber back into the hall, just in time to see him conferring with a short Death Eater, then they each faced a different side of the hall and sent some spell that slammed all of the doors to the patient rooms. Mulciber sent another couple Death Eaters off, giving orders that they should close the doors in the adjoining halls.

"They're here!" shouted a voice down the hall. Hermione turned to see Charlie Weasley apparate into the hall. He stupefied the nearest Death Eater, then was hit by at least two petrifying spells. The next few minutes were overwhelming as Order member after Order member appeared. Some were able to get off some spells, including Shaklebolt who slashed some Death Eater with a spell that left him bleeding profusely on the floor, but they were all eventually petrified.

'They're all okay. They're all okay,' Hermione kept reminding herself. She saw Ron and Harry, in his polyjuiced, light brown hair, rush in through a stairwell. Her body moved involuntarily toward them, wanting to warn them of the trap. Seconds later they were both frozen in place. She turned her head and flinched as she saw Fleur petrified just next to her.

Then Mulciber pulled aside an older wizard and said something to him. The wizard disapparated immediately.

"He's just sent Goyle to let the Dark Lord know they're ready." Again, Malfoy was whispering. He didn't have to, they couldn't hear him, but Hermione was glad he did. Anything else would've felt strange, well, even more strange.

Again, a quiet waiting fell over the floor. This time there was no sound coming from the patient rooms. Hermione hoped that was just because the doors had been magically closed. Most of the Death Eaters kept their wands on the various frozen order members, but Bellatrix strode back down the hall, pushing over Neville as she passed him, causing him to crash loudly to the floor. Hermione's wand hand flexed, wishing she could hex the vicious witch. Watching all of this helplessly was horrible.

Then Voldemort appeared, almost on top of where Hermione was standing. To her surprise Malfoy stepped in front of her and pulled her back away from him. His arm fell back quickly, and he didn't meet her eyes. Was he embarrassed that he'd just done something gallant? Perhaps, especially since they'd both remembered by now that it wasn't necessary.

"Look who we have here." Voldemort's voice slithered as he exulted over his victims.

With a theatrical wave of his arm down one side of the hall he shouted out - "Redimio in dolus." He'd apparently done a silent "sonorous" charm as his voice now echoed loudly. An arc of purple light moved down the hall, causing the walls, doors, floor and ceiling to glow purple momentarily as it moved over them. He turned and repeated the spell in the other direction.

"We are sealed," he announced. Hermione halfway expected the gathered Death Eaters to burst into applause for his performance, but no one spoke.

Bellatrix however, hurried over. "Magnificent!" she simpered. "Can we play now?" She reached over to Hestia Jones, who was frozen in a strange mid-turning position and ran her hand down the witch's arm.

"There's Hestia," Hermione whispered to Malfoy, who nodded but said nothing.

"Bellatrix, my dear, there are few things more important than terror. This is not play. It is deadly serious – but you may begin."

Bellatrix turned from Hestia to Oliver Wood, who was frozen nearby. She ran her wand down the side of his face, then jabbed him sharply in the gut with it as she snarled "finite incantatem." His body immediately lost its rigidity. He scowled furiously at her. She wasted no time as she hit him with a "crucio."

As his screams filled the hall, laughter came from under the Death Eater cloaks. "Monsters," Hermione hissed. She couldn't help but glance at Malfoy to see his reaction, but his face was impassive, his eyes sweeping down the hall.

"You can all give our friends a taste of what they have coming. Ready?" Hermione took a half a step back as she realized what was about to happen. No one had mentioned this part to her.

Again his voice boomed down the hall "Finite Incantatem." Mulciber cast a "crucio" on Fleur, as dozens of different voices called out "crucio!" Hermione heard the voices of her friends screaming all around her, Ron and Harry among those who were thrashing on the floor. She stared resolutely at the floor, trying to calm her breathing, ignore the pain all around her.

Malfoy pulled at her elbow, directing her attention back to Voldemort. He walked quickly down the hall, obviously looking for someone. Hermione bit her lip. He was looking for Harry. He pointed his wand at a couple of empty walls and muttered some spell she couldn't hear, but it was probably a hominem revelio. Of course, nothing, no one, was revealed.

He reached the far end of the hall, then turned and called out 'Enough!" He followed it immediately with a sweeping "petrificalus totalus." Somehow he managed to petrify only the Order members. Had he added a silent incantation? "It is time to find Potter. Let's start with some of the younger ones."

Had he recognized Ron? Was he going to start with him? No, he came half-way back down the hall and stopped in front Geoff Stebbins, a Hufflepuff she didn't know very well, who was still lying on the floor. He unpetrified him, and for a second Stebbins seemed to pale, then he braced himself.

"Where is Potter?" Voldemort's voice was almost a whisper. Stebbins didn't respond in any way. "Crucio." Stebbins didn't cry out, although his jaw was clenched and his fingers scratched into the floor. This time the spell went on for what seemed like an eternity, until at last, Stebbins took a gasping breath, then let out a hideous cry.

Suddenly, Hermione saw, out of the corner of her eye, a movement. Neville's arm had moved, at first only a small jerk, then a white flash burst from his wand and slashed just in front of Voldemort, close enough to tear the sleeve of his robe. Stebbins' body went limp on the floor, either exhausted or unconscious, as Voldemort turned toward Neville.

"Who released him?" he shouted as he shot a red stupefy at the boy. Neville rolled quickly to one side though and it missed him. Hermione had raised her own wand, wishing she could slam Voldemort with a hex. She ducked reflexively as a red flash shot from down the hall toward him, only to be stopped by Bellatrix's quick shield spell.

Then bedlam broke loose – spells flying everywhere, flashes of white, red. All the Order members had somehow been released! A green light caught Hermione's eye and she saw a Death Eater fall back against a wall.

The short Death Eater called to Mulciber "What's happening?" but he only grunted in reply. Seconds later the short one was down. Hermione tried to watch, to see what was happening. She saw Voldemort firing spell after spell, at first, red flashed, then green. He was now shooting to kill. She tasted blood as she bit her lip. Then he vanished.

Within seconds the Death Eaters were disappearing, one after another. Hermione's gaze swept down the hall and she noticed, strangely, that Hestia Jones was still frozen in place. She was sitting up against a wall, her face still looking strained from the crucio she'd suffered just before she was frozen again. Two Death Eaters approached her, wands pointing in her face even though she was helpless. One, a tall broad wizard, yanked on her hair, then turned to the other. They must have been taking some of her hair!

Hermione hurried over, trying to see who the two wizards were, but they disappeared before she could get close enough. Bellatrix stepped between Hermione and Hestia, looked frantically around, then grabbed the petrified witch and vanished.

A white flash flew at Mulciber – Hermione thought it'd come from where Ron and Harry were now battling – and she heard his cry as it slashed down his front, blood spraying out. He looked around manically – he was nearly alone now – then turned to apparate and all went dark. Instead of returning to the cave, she felt Malfoy grab her arm and the two of them were again in McGonagall's office.

"No need to do the cave again," Malfoy said quietly. "That's all I took."

Hermione fell back into one of the chairs by McGonagall's desk, her heart pounding, her mind racing. What had happened? How did that make sense? It was so much like the Battle at Hogwarts, although this time the Death Eaters had been in total control. The Order members were all helpless, then somehow the petrifying spells were broken.

"Thirsty?" Draco held a crystal glass out to her and she gulped down the ice cold water. She was so thirsty and she hadn't even really been there.

Her eyes fell on a piece of parchment on McGonagall's desk. She summoned it and a quill and began making notes, trying to make some sense out of her muddled thoughts.

"Everyone petrified; Stebbins released and tortured; Neville shot a stunner at Baldy, everyone released."

She bit the end of her quill. She crossed out the last bit and rewrote: everyone, except Hestia, released. It was possible that there'd been someone else who wasn't released. It was hard to see everyone in the crowded, narrow hall, but Hestia was the only one she'd seen.

"I'm assuming from your expression that didn't make sense to you either."

"No, but there's got to be a reason. There's got to be a pattern."

"One thing that does make sense now . . . ."

Hermione looked over at Draco, who was leaning forward in his chair, arms on his legs. She didn't say anything, but raised her eyebrows and gave him a little nod, encouraging him to go on.

"Now I know why the Death Eaters were watching Snake Eyes, questioning his magic. He went to St. Mungo's because his sealing spells were supposed to be so strong. He'd have them all trapped and could finish the whole Order off . . . ."

Hermione shuddered. Even knowing everything was going to work out alright she'd been so scared. He'd had them all frozen and helpless.

"Instead, they broke through his spells. It all fell apart."

"Not only that," Hermione said as she made another note. "Did you notice, after they got free, when it was just a free for all, spells shooting everywhere," she looked up from her parchment, "he was trying to kill, using Avada Kedavras . . . ."

". . . .which showed that he knew it was falling apart. He was giving up his original plan not to kill anyone until he found Potter."

"Yes, but also . . . they didn't work."

"What do you mean? I saw someone fall."

"I know, but we didn't lose anyone, except for Hestia and she was later. No one was killed at St. Mungo's. What about the Death Eaters? Some of them went down. Were any of them killed?"

"I don't know. It's hard to tell because most of them wear masks at the meetings. He must count how many return, but he never mentions it. No one asks because it's too dangerous to get him to admit that anything ever goes wrong."

What a difference in the way their casualties were treated.

"I saw at least one other Death Eater kill someone, or try to," Draco was almost talking to himself. "If no one was lost, that would mean the Avada's not working for more than just . . . him."

Was he making an effort not to call Voldemort 'the Dark Lord' anymore? Why? There were other things she needed to focus on.

"Let's go through from the beginning and make notes of anything that seemed strange or seemed important."

"Okay, but if you don't want me to be seen here, let's go back to the cottage."

Hermione glanced at her wrist watch, then nodded. She had almost an hour left before she had to meet Kingsley.

When they reached the cottage, tea was already waiting for them, charmed to stay warm. They both paced around while the charmed quill made notes of all of their observations.

"What did you call this again?" Draco asked as he paused to drink from his tea.

"Brainstorming."

"That makes no sense. What possible connection is there between a storm and writing ideas down?"

Hermione rolled her eyes, and glanced at her watch. "I have to leave in ten minutes. Let's debate Muggle nomenclature some other time."

"Fine. By the way, you did tell Shaklebolt about his little Hestia problem, didn't you?"

"Yes, he's having her tailed, but he's going to hold off on arresting whoever it is. One question? At the end of the raid did Snake Eyes do his thing where he pulls all the Death Eaters back?"

Draco frowned. "I don't think so. They seemed to apparate out at different times, plus as far as I know that calls all Death Eaters back, but Dolohov and I were still at the orphanage. We didn't get called back until later."

"But you were pulled back, at the end of the orphanage raid?"

"Yes."

"So why wouldn't whoever is polyjuicing as Hestia have been called back then?"

"No idea, but you're right Hestia – the real Hestia – seemed to be the only one who wasn't released from her petrification. That's got to be significant."

Hermione took a deep breath and sat down on the sofa. He probably wasn't going to like this idea, but she had to throw it out there. "Draco . . . I think we need to . . . talk this over with Harry. He has some memories that you need to see anyway and . . . . Dumbledore told him things. Maybe something he knows can help us piece this together."

She looked down at the expensive rug, bracing herself for . . . something. Yelling wasn't really his style, but at least some cutting remark. After a few seconds, she looked up. He was looking off in the direction of a painting, but nodding his head. "That's what I was thinking, too."

"You were?"

"Yes. This felt too much like the Battle of Hogwarts and clearly, whatever happened there, Potter was the crucial piece."

It felt as though all of the air had been pushed out of her lungs. He hated Harry. How could he be so calm about all of this? How could he have just said that?

"No, I'm not polyjuiced," he said to her with a smirk.

Her heart was pounding. What if he was an imposter? She drew her wand and stood, pointing it at him, wishing her hand wouldn't tremble.

"What did you say to me at the Battle of Hogwarts, just after . . . just after he said that Harry was dead?"

"You're not serious?"

"Answer the question."

He sank down onto a chair and held his head in his hands. It wasn't him. He couldn't answer the question. Then he spoke, his voice low.

"I said . . . I said that he was lying. You were crying, just one tear running down your cheek. Then I said that it didn't matter. We had to keep fighting him; we couldn't let him win." He let out a shuddering breath, as though the memory itself was hurting him.

She sat back down on the sofa. "You lied. You didn't mean it."

He looked up at her. He seemed to have this way of looking deep into her eyes. She knew she'd feel it if he did legilimency, but he seemed to look right into her soul. "I did mean it. I still mean it. I didn't know he could pull us back with him. I never thought the mark made me his prisoner, his slave. I did go back to being a Death Eater, a vicious one, but it was only because I didn't know what else to do. I had to do it for . . . ." His voice became so soft that she could barely hear him "I had to do it for my parents."

The grief in his voice was so raw. He'd done hideous things to keep his parents safe, keep his parents alive and his mother had died anyway. What about his father? Somehow she didn't think she could ask him. What if the answer was . . . .

"My father's still alive." Her eyes widened. He'd known just what she was thinking. "But he's completely insane. He acts like a child. Actually, he's a pretty good kid." He gave her a faint smile. "You need to get going. Send me a message through the runes about the raid on the ministry tonight, and let me know when we can meet with Potter."

Her head was still reeling, but if he was going to act like that was a normal conversation, so would she. "You're sure the attack won't come before nightfall."

"I'll make sure it doesn't. He'll like the idea of stealing their plans without any one seeing, without anyone knowing."

She stood up and pulled the key out of her pocket. "How does this work then?"

"The portkey's set up to go back and forth between two places, over and over. When you're here it'll take you back to Grimmauld Place. When you're there, it'll bring you here." She frowned. What if she needed to get here from somewhere else? They'd have to deal with that later.

"Okay. Watch for my message." He just nodded, then stood as if remembering that it was poor manners to sit while a lady was leaving. "Draco, . . . tonight . . . be careful."

"Always."

AN – Sorry for the delay. Summer, children, visitors, real life in general cutting in on writing time. Thanks so much for reading my story and for the many wonderful reviews.