TW: Homophobia mentioned because this is set in the 70s and I want to point out the harsh reality of what it was like for LGBTQ+ people back then (and this is mild, the world wasn't good back then)

The rest of the Christmas break was loads of fun — I got to see my grandparents, I got some presents (a book set of a muggle fantasy series from my parents and a huge box of chocolate frogs from my grandparents), and had a massive Christmas feast with the family.

By the time I got back to Hogwarts, I had adjusted to the slightly warmer weather in London, so the moment I stepped out of the train it was like burying my head in snow.

James and Peter had refused to sit in the same compartment as each other on the train ride. Sirius always stood by James no matter what, and I didn't want to take sides, so ended up sitting the ride by myself.

Once we got back, there was a feast when we all were led into the Great Hall, welcoming the students back and celebrating the new year. Peter, myself, Sirius, and James sat in a line on one side of the Gryffindor table, in that order, and the four of us barely spoke at all for the entire feast. The ice wasn't broken until we came into the dormitory.

"Guys," I said, slowly. "We can't be fighting. If we're going to spend seven years in this dormitory every night together, we need to get along. James, I can understand your point here… but if Peter wasn't ready for something like that yet, then that's OK. We're all only in first-year, after all. Peter will be ready for something like this eventually."

I looked at Sirius for help, knowing James was more likely to listen to him with this. He nodded at me, then said, "Remus is right. As grateful as I am, you guys shouldn't have risked your life like that at all. It was incredibly stupid, and you're all, what, five?"

I laughed, and Peter let out a nervous laugh as well, but James wasn't listening to any of us. He rolled his eyes, then went straight to bed. The other three of us all looked at each other then followed suit.

"So, you asked me what Sirius's address was so you could go and save him from his toxic family?" Monifa asked.

We were in our first class back, Potions, and filling Monifa in on what had happened.

"I mean, I'm glad he's safe and all, but did you seriously go without me?" she crossed her arms in disappointment.

"Sorry," said James, then added coldly, "Maybe you could have replaced Peter."

Peter cowered from the other side of the table. James had asked Professor Slughorn if he could change tables, but our Potions groups had been chosen at the start of the year, and we apparently wouldn't be changing until next year.

"What do you mean?" Monifa asked.

"Oh, I'll tell you what I mean—" James started.

"I'll tell her," I interrupted quickly, then informed Monifa about James's and Peter's fight. I didn't know how I expected her to react, but her response did surprise me.

"Peter!" she hissed. "How could you be so selfish? You were only thinking about yourself here! How could you?"

"I was scared…"

"I bet Remus and James were, too!" she snapped.

"Thank you, Monifa!" James said.

"I didn't want to die…"

"Neither did they! Yet they put their lives at risk to help their friend, while you just stayed at the sweet shop!" she said, crossing her arms. "I can't believe you!"

"Guys, it's OK… you got me out of there, that's all that matters…" Sirius started.

"DON'T BACK THAT SON OF A BITCH UP!" James shouted.

"Language, Mr Potter!" Professor Slughorn called from across the room. "And sort whatever this is all about at lunch and get back to work!"

We fell silent and James stirred the potion violently, shooting Peter a this-conversation-is-so-not-over look. Monifa shot the same look, crossing her arms.

"GUYS! I'VE ALREADY SAID IT'S OK, JUST STOP FIGHTING!" Sirius cried out.

"Yeah, please," I groaned, crossing my arms. Sirius, Monifa, James, Peter and I were all sitting at the courtyard, discussing the argument during break. And when I say discussing, I mean we were all yelling over the top of each other.

"Peter needs to prove himself worthy of our friendship," James said, crossing his arms.

"Yes," said Monifa. "He must prove his loyalty to one of us…"

"Guys, this is stupid!" I said, looking to Sirius, but he was smiling.

"OK — agreed. We will not talk to him until he shows an act of loyalty," he said.

I looked at Peter, who was looking almost as scared as he had when he'd been chickening out of saving Sirius from his parents grasp.

"Why are we doing this?" I said, facepalming.

"Yeah, we shouldn't be doing this, it's so stupid!" Peter cried, but no one was listening to him.

"Remus?" James said. "Who's side are you on, ours or his?"

"I-I-I…" I stuttered, then sighed. I couldn't have them hating me as well. "Yours, I guess… I still think we shouldn't be fighting…"

"Good. Well, the act of loyalty has to be something big, remember that," Monifa said, and we all walked away, leaving him there to 'think about his actions'. I did feel slightly bad, but I did understand James and Monifa's point. He had been very disloyal to Sirius during the Christmas break.

February came around quickly, and although it was still absolutely freezing, it was somewhat warmer than January. On the last Saturday of the month, the Gryffindor Quidditch team had their second match of the school year, and the fourth match of the year overall.

The previous two games hadn't featured Gryffindor, so James and Sirius, although they were still enthusiastic, hadn't gone to as much extreme in their fanboying.

But this time it was Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff, so they were all out once again. They woke me up at the crack of dawn by bouncing on my bed, then dragged me into the bathroom. James held me down while Sirius painted my face in red and gold.

"Guys!" I groaned. "The match starts in five hours!"

"Not enough time!" said Sirius. "We're all getting fully dressed up."

"What, why?" I asked.

"I was in the library—"

"You? In the library? Sirius Black? In the library?" I said, dumbfounded.

"— and I saw some Hufflepuffs from our year saying they were going to dress up in full yellow and black, with face paint and everything."

"Why don't we just wear our robes then?" I asked.

"Keep your face still!" James cried angrily.

"Because our robes are predominantly black, not red," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "We will wear full red and gold."

"Isn't that just copying Hufflepuff, though?" I asked.

"No, we make it seem like they were copying us," James said dramatically. "Genius, I know!"

"Yeah, genius, and my idea!" Sirius cried.

"No, it was my idea, I'm sure," said James.

"NO!" Sirius cried. "It was my idea!"

"Wow, thanks for waking me up, guys," Peter grumbled, walking into our dormitory bathroom. James and Sirius ignored him, and continued to paint on my face.

"It was my idea," James said, nodding. Sirius just rolled his eyes.

"We've got the girls in on it, too," he explained. "Lily, Kate, and Milly."

"Ooh, Lily," I said, nudging James, who just laughed.

"The six of us are all going to go into the stands together," said James. "And Peter is not sitting with us."

It had been over two months since the rift between James's and Peter's friendship had formed, and the two of them still refused to speak to each other. Monifa was on James's side, although she wasn't refusing to speak to Peter, however angry she was. Sirius was similar to me in the belief that we should get over it, but he was still backing up his best friend James.

"Anyway," said Sirius. "Let's put our outfits on!"

"GRYFFINDOR! GRYFFINDOR! GRYFFINDOR!"

All the first-year Gryffindors, apart from Peter were parading into the Quidditch stands, cheering and chanting. We were walking up to the top seats, where we'd agreed we would sit, when a bunch of seventh-years rushed past us, pushing us all over and took the seats.

"NO!" James screamed, running up to where they were sitting. "GET OUT OF OUR SEATS! WE WERE GOING THERE FIRST!"

"Get away from us, kid," one of them muttered. She had her long, frizzy hair spray painted red and gold for the match. "Top seats are for seventh-years. You have to wait your turn."

"NOT FAIR!" James cried out, coming back down to us.

"You have to wait to be in seventh year," Lily said. "So it is fair."

"Whatever," James said, rolling his eyes as we took our seats in a lower row. "We should get to sit there, though."

"James! You'll get to sit there when you're in seventh year!" Lily said. "Stop being so arrogant!"

"Shh! The match is starting!" Kate hissed.

Kaiden Banks was starting his commentary, when someone sat in the empty seat next to me. I turned around to see Monifa. She was dressed in red and gold like the Gryffindors.

"Monifa!" I whispered. "What are you doing here, you're not allowed!"

"I know…" she said. Her voice was strained. "I'm sorry… I can't go any longer without telling someone… y-you were the only person I think won't judge me… I told my sister… and she started beating me…"

"OK, let's go under the stands, and you can tell me," I said. The two of us stood up, and walked through the stands then went downstairs. "OK, what is it?"

"I've known this for years… I-I first told my parents when I was four… they also beat me for it, but…" I noticed she was crying.

"You can tell me, OK?" I said.

"Sorry if I'm being too dramatic about it, but I… I like someone," she said, taking shaky breaths.

"OK?" I said. "Sorry, but what's the big deal?"

"My parents will hate me for it," she said, putting her head in her hands. "They'll completely disapprove… I told my sister and she said she was going to tell on me… but I told her because we promised to tell each other all crushes we had, but oh, I'm so stupid for telling her!"

"Well, unless you like You-Know-Who," I said, "I don't think they'll care."

"Th-they're in your house!" she cried. "I'm sorry!"

My jaw dropped. "It can't be… Sirius? No, he's your cousin."

"No," she cried. "It's not Sirius."

"James, then?" I asked, but she shook her head. "Peter?"

"No!" she cried. "I-I'm sorry!"

"Wait," I said. "Monifa… do you… what… no… I don't really want a relationship yet…"

"It's not you," she cried.

"Who is it then? Someone in an older year?" I asked.

"IT'S MILLY — MILLY GREENE!" she shouted, then burst into sobs. "I'm sorry!"