Chapter 4; This is the way that my sadness made me

Laurel;

Laurel wasn't sure what to make of the last two days. She was happy to have both Oliver and Sara back home. She had missed them both dearly. They were family. But she was also very confused and kind of worried about their behavior. She thought they would be better by now. She realized the moment she had the thought it was not fair to them. And remembered words she had spoken to a worried Thea eight months ago:

"I'm honestly not sure that this is something that can be fixed. Neither can they…"

But it wasn't just the fact that her sister didn't seem to be better, but she had, honest to god, gotten worse. And Oliver, Oliver was hard to define. She wasn't sure how he was doing simply because he played his part to perfection and they might have believed him if he had been alone, if Sara hadn't been with him. Because Sara's presence disrupted Oliver's performance. His focus was entirely on her sister and that led to him slipping up every once in a while, even if just slightly. But enough for people who really knew him to notice, plus she, and she was sure Thea, too, had been watching him. And they could not be blamed by anyone after the weird behavior their respective sibling had presented when they came to pick up the apartment keys.

Except Oliver had seemed all right the previous day. Which is why she had focused her attention on her sister at first. But watching Sara meant watching Oliver, given the close proximity they kept during their time at her apartment. And Sara really didn't do anything that would've helped her figure out what was going on with her. She was merely sitting next to their childhood friend, holding on to him as if he were her lifeline and the only thing grounding her to this reality. Her sister had completely spaced and spent the afternoon staring at nothing. The only time there was any sign of life on her side had been whenever she went to the bathroom.

Sara had not said one word all afternoon, and yet Laurel felt that she and Oliver had entire conversations with each other. Conversations she wasn't able to follow or understand. They had moved as one when Dig mentioned baby Sara. They held on to each other. At first glance it looked like Oliver was trying to shield Sara from… something… but on second glance it was clear that yes, Oliver had pulled Sara into him, shielding her with the bulk of his body but when they turned around and left the room Laurel could see how her sister was stroking Oliver's arm soothingly and she did the same with her thumb on the hand that was held by the male. It reminded her of the moment when Sara had calmed a distraught Oliver down eight months ago. Their overprotective friend was shielding Sara from them…? But at the same time Sara was comforting him for something… this afternoon should have helped her comprehend and understand what was going on. Not lead to even more questions and confusion.

Oh, did Dig talking about baby Sara remind Oliver of William? And how he had to give him up? How he was not a part of his son's life to keep him safe? But Oliver hadn't minded hearing about and even spending time with their favorite tiny human before he had left Star five months ago. So that couldn't be it, right?

Laurel rubbed her temple. All of this was giving her a headache. She wished she knew what was wrong with two of the most important people in her life. She wished she knew how she could help them. Or what had happened to them while they were away. Something must have happened. Sara had seemed broken before she had left eight months ago, but now she was only a shadow of the person she used to be. She reminded her of a ghost. And seeing her like this felt like a knife to the heart. It hurt her so much to see her baby sister like this. She used to be so full of life, all smiles and laughs and jokes and fun. She used to be so much fun and had such a lust for life. And even after the Gambit when she first came back she was still so alive and full of light even if she hadn't seen it herself. But now she was just a husk. There was no light in her eyes. Laurel made a mental note to talk to her dad after Donna and Felicity left. She wondered what his thoughts on her behavior were.

Even Oliver had seemed better before he had left. He had been in a lot of pain and devastated, but that was understandable given the circumstances. And Thea and she thought it was an excellent idea when he told them he had to get away for a while to figure things out. They thought it would help him sort things out and come to grips with the way everything had played out. They were wrong.

Now he just pretended to be okay. And they all let him. Why hadn't anyone called him out? She needed to talk to him tomorrow. It had surprised her when he had asked her if she minded coming over tomorrow afternoon to spend some time with Sara. For one because he had asked her on her sister's behalf while said sister stood right next to him, tucked protectively under his arm. And two, because Sara did not show any interest in her or anyone's company. So why would he ask her to come over? Did Sara even want her to come?

Laurel was ripped out of her thoughts by the sound of Donna's: "Oh, my god!" followed by dishes shattering on the floor. So, she walked into the kitchen to see what happened.

Putting her sister and her friend out of her mind for the moment.

Donna;

This entire afternoon was not at all what she had expected. Not even close. When she had heard that Oliver was back, she had hoped that it meant Felicity would sit down with him and they would get to talk their issues out and give it another go. She still felt those two were perfect for each other and her daughter seemed to have reconsidered her actions five months ago. And she knew that Oliver loved her daughter dearly and unconditionally. Felicity was the love of Oliver's life and Oliver was her daughter's. There was no way he would not agree to give them another try if Felicity apologized and asked for another chance. She had been sure of that.

Donna had also been very excited at the prospect of finally meeting Quentin's younger daughter, she had heard so much about, from the two Lances, Felicity and even Thea seemed to adore her as much as she did her brother and the older of the two sisters. She liked Laurel and was sure she would like Sara too, even more so because Felicity seemed very smitten with the youngest member of the Lance family. Everyone seemed to think very highly of her. Yet, there was quiet a bit of mystery about her. She still remembered the first time she had heard about Laurel's sister and the context that came with it eight months ago. There were still a lot of things about that night that confused her and she didn't understand. No one answered any of her questions, and they tended to change the subject whenever she asked.

So, it was understandable that she had been very excited and happy to finally meet the infamous young woman.

Sara was not at all what she had expected. She couldn't even make the connection between the woman she had heard about and the woman she saw this afternoon. And yes, she meant saw, she could not call it met. To meet someone meant to actually talk to them. Sara didn't say a word, not even "hello". Not even to her family.

The natural blonde had been there physically but showed no interest in anyone or anything besides Oliver. Not even her father and sister. And even with Oliver, interest seemed to be the wrong word for it. She wasn't paying him any attention. She was simply glued to his side… it was all very strange and her behavior was very troubling. The reactions from everyone who knew Sara confirmed her suspicion that the way Quentin's younger daughter was behaving was not normal for her either.

And her hopes concerning Oliver and Felicity's reconciliation… Oliver didn't show her daughter any of his usual attention, hardly any at all to tell the truth. Even less than he showed Thea or Laurel whom he showed most of his attention to, but if she were completely honest with herself, his focus was on Sara. And only Sara, at all times. Even when she left the room. He seemed to tense whenever the blonde left his side until she returned to her place right next to him, with one of her hands firmly wrapped around his bicep and the other one gently held in the hand of the arm she was holding on to.

There was something going on here that no one was aware of.

Donna spent most of the afternoon watching the two guests of honor. This was how she noticed everyone pretending that nothing was wrong with Oliver and Sara's behavior. While throwing each other worried and confused looks when they thought Oliver wasn't looking. It was also this that led to her noticing the way Sara turned ashen and borrowed even further into the muscular man's side when John Diggle mentioned his daughter. Sara's hands turned white from the force she used to hold on to Oliver's arm. She was sure that her nails were digging painfully into his flesh. And Oliver's body tensed noticeably. He was subconsciously drawing Sara closer. Wrapping his arm around her as if he were trying to shield her from the conversation. Why would Oliver want to shield Sara from a conversation about an almost two-year-old that was actually named after the woman in his arms? And why exactly was that? She never did get the story behind the cutie-pie's name out of anyone.

All of this happened in the span of a minute, right before Oliver stood up to excuse them. This was a very strange and extreme reaction to the conversation about the baby girl that Oliver adored.

Donna let the scene slowly replay in her mind's eye while helping Laurel and Thea clean up their apartment. Oliver had wrapped his left arm around Sara's shoulder, pulling her close. His right hand had also drawn her closer… no that wasn't right… His right hand had gone to her stomach, just for a moment before Sara actually pushed it away and he moved it to wrap around the hand that had pushed it away moments ago. What had been going on there?

"Oh, my god!" The plate she had been holding slipped from her hand and shattered on the kitchen floor. His hand had moved to her stomach… to her slightly rounded stomach. Sara was pregnant. With what she now assumed to be Oliver's child, given his behavior. But this realization did nothing to help her understand anything that had happened this afternoon.

"Mom, are you okay?" Felicity touched her arm and looked at her worriedly, so did Laurel, Thea and Quentin right behind her.

"Yes, Hon, I'm fine. I'm sorry. I'm such a klutz!" She tried to smile it off and had to remind herself that it was not her place to tell anyone about the news. It seemed that Oliver and Sara did not want anyone to know about the baby yet.

Oh, but how was she supposed to keep this from her baby girl? Felicity had come to the conclusion that the way she had reacted to the news of Oliver's son might not have been the best. And that she did want to get back together with him. A part of her subconsciously did the math and felt a bit betrayed on her daughter's behalf. If Sara was showing it meant that she was at least four months along… Felicity and Oliver had broken up less than six months ago…

Oliver was not the type of man who would leave a woman pregnant with his child to her own demise or abandon her. Even less if it was someone that was referred to as one of his oldest and best friends. The woman he had taken on his father's yacht with him while he had been in a relationship with her sister. Sara was very important to him. She had realized that the first time she had heard about her. So, what did this mean for her own daughter? She suddenly felt like Felicity had missed her chance. And that she might have been wrong with her assumption that her daughter was the love of his life.

And yet, they did not seem like the excited, happy parents to be that one would expect from a couple anticipating their first child. If both their reactions to baby Sara were any indication. Or the way Sara pushed his hand away from her pregnant stomach, away from their child. Something was seriously wrong here, and she was getting worried about the two, well three. This could not be good for the baby, right? Sara's behavior or mental state, seemed to be more accurate, was troubling. Or maybe it wasn't Oliver's child and that was why she pushed his hand away? Not that it made any more sense. She seemed to trust him. She wouldn't have acted as an extension of his body if she didn't. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

Donna decided then and there that she was going to talk to the two of them.