Chapter 12; Traumas, they surround me

Caitlin

The phone call from Oliver Queen a week ago had completely taken her by surprise. He usually contacted Barry when he needed something. Or Felicity called Cisco or her, as was generally the case. Oliver hardly ever contacted Team Flash, it was typically Team Arrow's IT-genius who did that, and not rarely against the Green Arrow's wishes. So this had been a doubly strange situation.

Logically, she had been intrigued. And boy, did she not expect his reason for calling. He had told her that he had a dear friend. A very dear friend who was pregnant and in need of a doctor. But she wasn't comfortable with strangers touching her, given some past experiences. He didn't elaborate, but he also didn't have to. She was pretty sure she got the implication of what he was saying. He had asked her to be his pregnant friend's, who she now assumed had been sexually abused in the past, OBY/GYN. So, he wondered if she were open to meeting with her and possibly becoming his friend's personal physician, if his friend felt comfortable with her and liked her personality. But he put extra emphasis on letting her know that it was only if his friend, who was very precious to him, felt at ease with her. Yep, that was not what she had expected at all. And it was a rather odd inquiry, including what sounded a bit like a thread when he requested her to not share any of this conversation with anyone, period. Not even Barry.

But naturally, she had said yes. They had been talking about a traumatized, pregnant woman who needed help. A part of her felt flattered that he thought she could be of help in such a delicate endeavor. This was a very sensitive matter and Oliver seemed to think that she would be a good fit for his friend. A friend he seemed to care for deeply, given the great lengths he was going to in order to help her and the choice in words that he had used while talking about her, the words were rather endearing and that did not seem like Oliver at all. It almost seemed like he purposely chose those words to make a point and ensure that she knew how important the matter and woman were to him. But who had remained anonymous even now.

The phone call from Oliver Queen a week ago had surprised her.

The phone call from Thea Queen a couple of minutes ago had startled her, and not just because she had woken her up in the middle of the night. The young woman had sounded absolutely terrified. And the more Thea told her, the more concerned she became. This did not sound good under normal circumstances, but had the potential to become very serious and dangerous in very little time. She promised Thea that she would be there as fast as she could, hung up and called Barry right away, all the while throwing some of her things in a bag and writing down a list of possible supplies, for Barry to get after he dropped her off in Star City and she could analyze the situation and paint her own picture of the problem and whether it was purely psychological, as it appeared from Thea's description or if it was a health issue too. Not just a physical manifestation of whatever specific moment resulting from her trauma she was currently battling with. They were talking about a pregnant woman, after all. Being on the safe side was crucial.

Barry picked up after the fifth ring.

"Barry, hi, I'm sorry to call you this late. But Oliver Queen needs me to get to Star City as fast as possible. Could you run me there? It's serious, it could even be potentially…." She never got around to finishing her sentence because Barry ended up standing in front of her before she could.

"What's going on in Star? Why did Oliver call you?" The speedster was understandably confused and worried.

"It's a personal matter, concerning a good friend of his. He is in need of a doctor. Look here's a list of supplies I might need you to get for me after you dropped me off at Oliver's and I could get a read of the situation, here is his new address that I got from Thea. Thank you for doing this and I'm sorry again for waking you up." She grabbed everything she needed from her apartment and gave Barry the go-ahead.

And now here she and Barry were, in Star City, in front of Oliver Queen's unexpectedly open apartment door. Where she had been supposed to meet with him and his "very dear" friend for their initial "getting to know you and see if we vibe" meeting in two days.

This was not how she had pictured meeting the mystery woman. She shared a quick, worried look with Barry. It seemed very atypical for Oliver to leave his apartment door open. They shared another look and Barry shrugged his shoulders, nodding towards the doorbell which she then proceeded to ring. Thea Queen was in front of them in record time and gave her a very unexpected and tight hug. She then moved to Barry and did the same. The poor young woman looked completely rattled and out of her depts. She appeared to be greatly relieved by their arrival, which was understandable, it did mean, that she was no longer the only one besides Oliver trying to help his friend.

"Thank you. Thank you so much. I don't know what to do and I don't think Ollie does either. I know he's seriously scared for her. C'mon, they're in the bathroom." Thea dragged them inside in a hurry while summarizing the situation for them. Before, she suddenly stopped without warning so that both Barry and she nearly bumped into her.

"Don't… she gets scared if you get too close. Ollie is the only one she's not scared of. Just do what he tells you to. Okay?" The small brunette had a very serious and protective look on her face. Oliver's friend appeared to be very dear to his sister too.

Thea resumed walking as soon as Barry and she confirmed her request, and she was satisfied with their answer.

The younger Queen stopped again on the threshold to a room on their right.

"Ollie? Caitlin's here." Her voice was quiet, and it was plain to see that she was trying to keep her concern out of it. She stepped back out into the hallway a short while later and motioned to her to step through the now empty doorway into the room behind it.

The scene that presented her when she set foot into the bathroom made her swallow thickly and her heart constrict painfully.

Oliver had his back to the wall on the right side of the toilet, his right arm was tightly wrapped around the blonde situated between his legs, his hand covering hers, his left hand was slowly caressing her, moving from her head down her neck to her arm and back up again, his face was pressed against the side of her head and he was quietly murmuring to her.

The tall man's dear friend was leaning against him, her back to his chest, knees tightly held to her upper body, arms wrapped around them, face hidden behind her knees, and her whole body was shaking from the force of her sobs.

Caitlin was rooted to the spot and wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. She felt she was intruding and Thea's words were still fresh in her mind. The last thing she wanted was to agitate the distraught woman even further. The doctor let her eyes sweep across the room for a moment to get a picture of the scene and situation. She noticed the still almost full water bottle sitting on the floor within reach of Oliver. A wet washcloth on the cabinet on the other side of the toilet and what appeared to be a light blue tank top and some leggings carelessly thrown in the sink and a wet towel in the bathtub. She also noticed, once her eyes returned to the pair on the floor that Oliver's friend seemed to be wearing his sweater which was pulled over what she now realized where her naked legs a pair of thick wool socks completed the woman's peculiar outfit, while he was only dressed in a t-shirt and jeans yet still wearing his shoes. Her eyes moved back to the sink, making the connection between Thea's phone call, the clothes in the sink and the strange outfit without any difficulty.

She was startled when she looked back to the couple and noticed Oliver looking right at her for a moment before turning his attention back to the woman in his arms, softly talking to her again only this time she was able to make out the words, which was probably in big parts because her patient was no longer sobbing.

"Sara, love, Caitlin's here. Is it alright if she comes a little closer? She needs to find out what's wrong and how she can help you. She's just going to come a little closer. She's not going to touch you. And I'm right here. I'll be here the whole time, I promise. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to leave you alone again. I promise I won't leave you again. I won't let anyone hurt you. I swear. I'll be right here. Okay?" He moved his face next to hers and kissed her temple after reassuring her. She couldn't help but be surprised and touched by how soft and gentle he was with her. It seemed that his… Sara…

Sara… Sara Lance? Laurel's sister? The Canary? This was the first Canary? The badass Cisco was so enamored with? Just like he was with the Black Canary. Even though neither he nor anyone on Team Flash had met the other Lance sister so far. The woman they had heard so much about from Laurel and Felicity? The woman whose killer's blood she had analyzed almost two years ago? The woman who was resurrected by the Lazarus Pit? Sara was his pregnant very dear and precious friend? His formerly abused pregnant friend?

It was difficult for her to connect the fragile-looking woman protectively enclosed by the muscular man's whole body with the Arrow's badass female companion she had heard so much about, from both Team Arrow and the news all those years ago, talking about the badass vigilante duo, speculating about their relationship and connection some even referring to the Canary as the Arrow's girlfriend who he had probably recruited. Never knowing how they were both so close and yet so far from the actual truth.

Caitlin knew how much the Canary meant to Oliver. She vividly remembered the look of anguish on his face when Felicity had asked her if she could analyze the blood from the Canary's killer. He trusted HER enough to put his very precious friend's health into her hands? And not just her health, but her unborn child's life too. Why? What had she done to earn that level of trust? Even more so from Oliver, a man who had trust issues to the extreme. That reminded her of that very first mission between the two teams. And Oliver's thread if they told anyone his true identity. How his family would be in danger if people would find out who the Arrow was. Felicity had made light of it and joked, but she knew, and so did everyone else, that Oliver had been serious.

Which led to her considering what he might do if she screwed up and something happened to Sara or the baby? Oliver was very intense, and his methods tended to be a lot more brutal than Barry's. He had become a lot more… well, she wouldn't say mellow but less aggressive in the last two years to be fair. But she would never forget the first time Team Arrow and Team Flash had worked together shortly after Sara Lance's death. Oliver had been cold and ruthless, his methods making Barry question the other man and his belief and trust in him… and whether he had been right to defend him and chose him as his mentor and someone to look up to. What would he do and how far would he go now if something should happen to Sara?

"Okay, it's fine with her, you can come a little closer now. Just don't come too close yet, leave her some space." Oliver's soft words ripped her from her current thoughts that had sidetracked her from her original ones that had pointed out to her it seemed Sara had given him some sign or form of confirmation because he had looked back to her and told her to come closer.

She moved slowly and bent down deliberately when she got closer to them and then sat on the floor with a sizable distance between them, but close enough that they could talk privately without the conversation carrying outside the room.

"Sara… can you tell me exactly what happened and how you feel? And I mean purely the physical aspects. That is all that I need to know right now. Okay?" she took her lead from the man, who appeared to know exactly what to do and how to treat her in this situation, which gave Caitlin the impression that this was not the first time he had found himself here and spoke in a soft, quiet tone of voice.

Barry:

Barry had expected some Metahuman attacking Central City, given the time it was when Caitlin called. So the last words he had expected to come out of her mouth were "Oliver Queen". Oliver had no reason to call her and never had before, as far as he knew. Until now. Oliver was not someone who asked for help, even less for help from someone he didn't really know. So the last thing he had expected Caitlin to say were the words: "Oliver Queen needs me to get to Star City as fast as possible". So he was at Caitlin's place before she could get halfway through her explanation. Learning that Ollie had called her because of a personal matter made little sense, and he felt slightly hurt. Why wouldn't Oliver call him? They were a lot closer than he was with Caitlin. So if it was a personal matter, shouldn't Ollie have called him? Why would he call Caitlin? The woman answered his questions without being asked, it wasn't about him but a friend of his, he guessed no one they knew, and she needed a doctor. That made more sense in one way, but not a lot in another. Why have Caitlin come all the way from Central City, when he could just take his friend to a hospital? Or Oliver and Dig both had basic medical knowledge. If she was hurt, they'd be able to help. The whole situation made less and less sense to him.

But Barry has known Caitlin long enough to realize just how serious she thought the situation in Star was, even if he couldn't quite understand and believe it. So he just patiently waited for his friend to do whatever she needed to before giving him her cue to run them to Oliver's new home.

He was still, after all these months, getting used to the thought of Oliver and Felicity no longer being an item. They were perfect for each other and he couldn't understand what had happened. Well, he could, Felicity had told him, but still. It was hard for him to understand the very drastic measures Felicity had taken after she had learnt about Oliver's son. Barry had known about William before anyone else including Oliver had and thought Oliver should tell her, but he could also understand why he hadn't. His friend had not wanted to risk losing the chance to get to know the child whose life he had already missed out so much on. Because of a decision that was made for him without his consent. He respected the older man for his choice to be a part of his son's life and even the one he had made just a short while ago to give up any chance of being a part of his life in order to protect him and keep him safe. He could understand that Felicity had felt hurt and angry, but he couldn't understand that she hadn't even considered trying to solve their issues and talk about the reasons why Oliver chose to do what he did. She had known that William's mother hadn't given Oliver much of a choice. So why did she blame him for what he did? Could you really blame a parent for doing whatever it took to be a part of their child's life or to try to keep them safe at any cost? All of which he had told Felicity a while back. Just like everyone else. He was sure those were reasons that played into her deciding that she wanted to talk to Oliver and see if they could try again.

Caitlin then let him know that she was ready, and he put his thoughts on his two friends and the status of their relationship out of his mind for now, speeding off and stopping in front of an open apartment door. Why was the door to Oliver's home open? That did not at all fit Mr-always-be-aware-of-your-surroundings paranoia at all. The Green Arrow would never just leave the door to his home open. This was the moment that Barry realized that something was seriously wrong here, more so than he had thought. He considered for a moment to just speed inside real quick and see what was going on right before Oliver's younger sister showed up at the open front door. Thea's behavior pretty much confirmed his suspicion and justified his growing concern. He felt guilty for his thoughts and grateful that he hadn't done it after the situation with Oliver's friend and how anyone's presence beside his was scaring her, was explained to them, not that she or Oliver would've seen him and therefore ever known that he had been there. But still, it would've been wrong.

He also stayed back outside when Thea motioned for Caitlin to enter the room and made it clear to him that he was to stay outside with her. Even though his curiosity was nearly killing him.

"How about we wait in the living room for them?" He dragged his eyes away from the entrance that led to the answers of so many of his questions to focus on the woman who had addressed him.

"Yeah, sure. Lead the way." He followed the younger of the Queen siblings back down the hall they had just walked up and into what he realized was actually the kitchen and not the living room.

"Do you want… can I get you anything? I mean, I don't actually know what they have besides bottled water but knowing the two of them I'm pretty sure there's coffee and probably some vitamin water, juice and some power bars around somewhere…" Thea slipped right into the role of the perfect hostess almost seamlessly which he assumed was a testament to her upbringing. But she slightly faltered when she realized that she didn't know the contents of the kitchen and therefore what she could offer him. This led to him noticing how lost she looked in her older brother's kitchen. Hadn't Oliver been back for a while now? How come Thea felt out of place and uncomfortable at the concept of going through his kitchen cabinets to figure out what foods and drinks he had? The Queen siblings were very close, so close that they had chosen to live together two years ago. What was going on here? Why would Thea feel anything but at home at her big brother's apartment? How was it that she looked as if she felt out of place and as if she were intruding? He was sure that Oliver considered any place he lived in Thea's home too, so why didn't she feel that way too? And instead acted like she would in a stranger's apartment, but not her family's? Was it because of his roommate? And how did that happen? Oliver was not the roommate type at all. Why did it seem as if this was the first time she had been at the apartment?

"Don't worry about it. Water's fine." He smiled at her before addressing her again: "Can I ask you something?" Thea got him the bottle of water from the fridge and handed it to him, nodding at his question.

"What's going on?" He was still trying to make heads and tails out of all the information he had gathered but came up missing too much to come even close to understanding what was transpiring right now.

Thea sighed and looked at him seriously before she told him to follow her and gestured towards what he presumed was the living room given her earlier words. They were on their way there when they saw Quentin Lance just inside the apartment. That was when Barry realized that they had also left the door open.

"Thea, thank god! What's going on? Are you okay? Are Sara and Oliver okay? Laurel tried to call all three of you and called me when she wasn't able to reach any of you." The older man rushed towards them and checked the young woman for injuries.

"I'm fine. And Ollie's fine, too. Ollie and Caitlin, Dr. Snow are with Sara…" Thea started to explain before Quentin's urgent questions interrupted her:

"Is Sara okay? What's wrong? Where is she?" Quentin was ready to rush past them and look for what Barry now realized was his younger daughter when Thea stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"Wait! I'll explain everything. Let's just go to the living room and sit down. Caitlin is with her now. Making sure that she's okay." Thea motioned towards the door to their left what Barry assumed would lead to the living room.

Laurel's father looked past Thea for a moment before taking a deep breath and walking into the room Thea had gestured towards, Barry following him.

"Dig, Laurel and I have been trying to get Ollie to come to the Bunker for a while now to help us. He finally agreed to come tonight. He stopped at my college to pick me up. I think he stopped because it was on the way to the Bunker and he was having a panic attack. That's how I found him. I helped him calm down, and we decided that it would be better if I was the one driving. We were barely on the road when Ollie's cell rang and Sara called, but I don't think she was actually on the other end. At least not going on Ollie's side of the conversation, or lack thereof. I just know that the call seriously freaked him out, and he told me to turn around and drive him back home. I let him out at the curb and then parked the car in the garage. When I got up here, the door was open and Ollie was in the bathroom with Sara. She was hysterical and had made herself sick. Ollie tried to calm her down and get her to drink some water once she was calmer but she threw it right back up which made her cry again. That's when Ollie told me to call Caitlin and get her here as fast as I can. I think Sara is having a really bad episode of PTSD." Thea got really upset while recounting what had happened during the last couple of hours and Barry found it not hard to understand why.

"Sara… when I brought Ollie the bottle of water he asked me to get him, when I stepped closer to give it to him, Sara got seriously scared and flinched away. When I first got here, she was both holding on to and pushing him away. She's been fine with his presence and touch for a while now. Ollie's the only person she's not scared of right now. I don't want her to get even more upset than she already is. I'm sorry, Quentin. That's why I kept you from rushing to her. I don't think it would help, I think it would actually make things worse. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. If I hadn't been bugging Ollie so much about the Bunker and the Green Arrow, he wouldn't have left Sara alone. He would've been here and she would be fine." Thea's voice broke at the end and she brushed a tear from her cheek.

"Thea… this is not your fault. Oliver was bound to leave Sara alone at some point." Quentin reassured the upset young woman.

Barry was still stuck on the revelation about who the woman with Oliver was. Sara, Sara Lance, Laurel's younger sister, Quentin Lance's other daughter. The woman with Oliver, the reason he had called Caitlin, was Sara? Some things made a lot more sense now. It made sense that he wouldn't trust a stranger with her health, even less if they were right and PTSD was the reason for her issues.

Barry found the information he had just gained very hard to swallow. He and both Team Arrow and Flash were of course aware of Oliver's issues springing from his five years of trauma, but he had never heard any of them so openly discussing them, even less consequences he was dealing with because of it, like the anxiety attack Thea had mentioned. How come he didn't know Oliver had those?