The Easter break ended, and May arrived, and about halfway through the month came the full moon. After the last lesson of the day, Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall asked to talk with my friends and I.
"I see the non-sensing spell isn't working too well for you guys," she said, causing Peter to hang his head shamefully. "It's OK. It took me several attempts to get it right. But you guys need to do this fast… I will do some research on it, as obviously you guys will get in a lot of trouble if you get caught researching it again. We'll talk about it next year, as we're running out of time this year. I'm sorry, boys."
"It's… alright, Professor," said James. "Thank you so much for all your help."
We all went back to the dormitory. I was going to go somewhere alone so the pre-transformation symptoms wouldn't show, but my friends had insisted I hang out with them for a bit. Feeling sick, I placed my hand on my forehead and realised it felt like it was on fire. I sighed. I hated being sick around other people, it was embarrassing.
"My parents sent me some Bertie Botts every flavour beans this morning," said James, showing us all a half-eaten box of the beans. "Wanna share them?"
"Oh, yes," said Sirius eagerly.
"Those make me so sick," Peter groaned, but he took a bean anyway. "Mmm… strawberry."
"Last one to spit one out wins," said James, taking a bean for himself. His face screwed up at the taste of it. "Ugh, I think it's rotten fish."
Sirius laughed at his best friend and grabbed a brown bean from the packet.
"This better not be shit…" he said, popping it into his mouth. "Oh! Chocolate! Thank god."
Trying to get my mind off my fever, I grabbed a bean myself. It was yellow, and I quite liked banana. Unfortunately for me, it was not banana. It tasted like actual lemon. I gulped it quickly, and it could still taste the sourness after I'd swallowed.
We all took turns eating up all the beans, some making us want to vomit, others making us wish for more. I even got one flavoured like raw meat, and quite enjoyed it (but of course I didn't tell the others that). We kept going until there was none left, and at that moment I vomited on the floor.
"Sorry," I muttered, embarrassed, rushing to the bathroom to grab a huge chunk of toilet paper, then coming back out to clean up. My temper was gone soon after that. We'd been playing wizard chess: Peter and I versus Sirius and James. Peter made one stupid move, and I flipped the entire board over, making the pieces go flying.
"Peter! You little rat!" I snapped. I always got a bad temper about two hours before I would transform, but I'd always been alone and didn't have anyone to take it out on but myself.
"Sorry," said Peter, looking at me in shock. Sirius placed a hand on my shoulder.
"Remus…?" he said, nervously. It must have been weird for them; I wasn't acting myself. They should have just let me go off on my own. Their loss.
The three of them soon seemed to find this version of me highly amusing and decided to test things to see what I'd lash out at them about.
"Guys, this isn't funny," I said, crossing my arms after I'd pulled the curtains off Peter's four-poster, much to his horror. "I can't even control half the things I do! Oh… stuff this, I'm going to the shack…"
"No, Remus, sorry," Sirius said. "Stay…"
"No, you're not funny, trying to just make me angry when I'm…" I trailed off. "I'm going now. Goodbye."
There was a knock on the door at dawn, just moments after I'd transformed back. I peered through the crack of the door to see Sirius standing there.
"One second," I said, wrapping a bandage around two new gashes on my chest, five on my arms, and a big plaster on one that spread across my entire jawline. It'd been a bad one. I quickly put my clothes back on and wincing, walked towards the door and opened it for Sirius. "What're you doing here?"
"I came to make sure you're alright," he said. "You weren't yourself last night…"
"I'm fine." I shrugged. "Just happens before the moon… sorry."
"It's alright, not your… Remus, blood's coming through your shirt!" he cried. I looked down to see he was right. How? I had a bandage! It must've been deeper than I thought. "Shouldn't you go to the Hospital Wing?"
"Yeah, and have the whole school stare at me," I muttered, pressing my hand down on my shirt where the blood was seeping through.
"Alright, sorry," he said, shrugging. Silence, until, "I don't know if I'd ever even seen you properly angry before last night."
"Oh, yeah…" I said distantly, teeth gritted as I lifted my shirt slightly to look at the bandage on my chest. It was drenched in my own blood. How was that even possible?
"Do you want me to stay and help?" Sirius offered.
"Oh, no, it's alright," I said. I wanted to be alone. "I'm fine, Sirius, just go back to sleep. I need to clean myself up."
"Oh." His face turned pink. "Sorry, I'll leave."
"Thank you," I sighed, as he left. I undressed and reapplied the bandage on my chest. It was overrunning a cut from last time which hadn't fully healed, so it had opened the wound again. Bloody hell, I couldn't go to school like this. I wanted to, I really wanted to, because there was only a month left, and I'd fail my exams at this rate.
I spent almost the entire day in the shack until the bleeding finally calmed down, until that night, and I rushed to the dormitory straight away.
"What did I miss today?" I asked, breathlessly sitting by the table and opened my textbook.
"Have a rest, Remus," said Sirius kindly, "rest then work."
I sure didn't need to be told twice.
By the time the exams week came along, I was worrying more than I had my whole life. I knew the June full moon was meant to be on the Friday, the last day of exams. I was meant to have two exams that day: History of magic at midday, and Defence Against the Dark Arts at four o' clock. I didn't want to lose it in front of the whole year. So, my worrying began.
The day before exams week I was pacing in the dormitory, alone. It was a Sunday afternoon in June, so almost everyone was last-minute studying out in the sun. I had studied, just not enough. Not as much as I had last year. I had been so distracted all year by guilt and pain that I could barely concentrate. I knew I was going to fail. I continued pacing all afternoon, thinking nervously, and my friends found me there at curfew.
"You've been in here all weekend, mate," Sirius announced, as if I hadn't realised. "Aren't you hungry?"
"No," I said, walking to my four-poster and lying down. Why couldn't I just study, instead of worrying? That would be more productive. But no, I just lay there and listened to James talk.
"Potions exam is on Wednesday," he was saying. "I've nicked some of this…" He opened his fist to reveal a few small tablets in his hand. "Put this in Snivellus's potion and BOOM!" He imitated an explosion with his other hand.
Sirius was grinning widely. "James, you're a genius!"
"I know I am," said James, taking a bow. "We're like… a gang of marauders!"
"Marauders?" Peter repeated, raising an eyebrow.
"I dunno, whatever," James laughed.
"But yeah, it's a great idea," Peter agreed.
"Marauders…" Sirius repeated, "marauders… marauders… has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"
"Yes…" James said, and no more was said on the matter.
Over the Monday and Tuesday of exams week, our entire year had one exam each day together, Herbology on Monday and Charms on Tuesday. It was like last year, where the whole year would sit in a classroom to do our exam, starting at midday for the theory exam, then the practical exam would be at one o' clock after lunch.
Wednesday came and my friends and I were prepared for our prank. For the practical exam, each of us had to produce our own potion, and just as we'd predicted, seating was in alphabetical order, so Snape was near James. Near the end of the exam, just as Snape was finishing his potion, I looked back to see James slip the tablet bomb things into Snape's potion as he walked past to wash his hands. Just moments later, his entire potion, cauldron and all, exploded, flying all over Snape.
The bell rang to signal the end of the exam, and Snape yelled one word, "POTTER!"
The four of us rushed out of the classroom, laughing as he chased us out angrily.
We got caught, of course. On our way to our Astronomy exam that night, Professor McGonagall pulled us aside and gave us a lecture.
"So that will be ten points from Gryffindor each, and detention every day in your final week, which I thought you'd prefer to spend in the sun, but I suppose not," she said sharply, before turning around and letting us proceed to the Astronomy tower.
"If she thinks that's going to stop us," Sirius grinned after McGonagall was out of earshot. James sniggered as we got to the ladder leading to the classroom.
We had Transfiguration on Thursday, and Professor McGonagall stared daggers at James, Sirius, Peter and I. So she was still mad. On Friday, I felt fine during History of magic, but as the time drew closer and closer to the Defence Against the Dark Arts exam, I was getting more and more scared. It was a late afternoon exam, the last exam of second year, and my favourite subject. On the afternoon before the full moon.
We would have an hour to do the theory, starting at four, then an hour to do practical, starting at five and ending at six, when the moon was supposed to come out. My friends could sense my stress as I began pacing around the common room.
"Could you ask to do the exam on the weekend?" Sirius suggested.
"I don't want to be that special kid who does his exam separately to the rest of the year," I said, screwing up my face. "I'll just try to do it really fast and leave early."
"You're not allowed out of the exam before it ends," said Sirius. "And it ends right when the moon comes out…"
"Wow Sirius, I'm sure he hasn't realised that yet," James said, rolling his eyes.
"I'll just slip out," I said. "Better getting in trouble for that than… well…"
"What if we caused a distraction?" Sirius suggested.
"Sirius Black," James said, smiling mischievously, "I am proud to call you my best friend."
I was feeling sick, tired, and angry during the theory exam, and halfway through ended up pressing my quill so hard into the parchment in frustration that the ink spilt all over the parchment. Keep it together. Keep it together. I brushed sweat from my hair and looked down at the ink-strewn parchment.
"Oh, sweetheart, seems like you've spilt something on your parchment." I jumped, spinning around. The teacher was standing behind me. He'd said it so sweetly that it just annoyed me. Without thinking, I stood up, and marched out of the classroom.
Why was I doing this?
"Mr Lupin!" The teacher chased after me, causing several heads to turn. "Mr Lupin!"
I marched through the halls, fuming. I didn't even know why I was angry, I wasn't quite myself, so I had to strain my mind to think.
Go to the shack, came a small voice in my head, but it was drowned out with the urge to destroy something. The halls were silent, as all the students were doing exams. My vision blurred and I felt my body sway. This was my second time having the pre-transformation symptoms away from the Shrieking Shack while at Hogwarts, and I couldn't think at all. As I marched through the castle, my head suddenly was filled with excruciating pain. Groaning, I tried to think of what was going on, but before I knew it I was on the ground and had passed out in the middle of the hall.
I opened my eyes and felt my ears ringing. I was in the Shrieking Shack and Professor McGonagall was looking down at me.
"Mr Lupin," she said. She looked tired, but her face was stern. "Why didn't you say something to either Professor Dumbledore or I about changing your exam time?"
My neck was in agony, and I felt more tired than I had in my whole life. I didn't respond properly to her question; just made a few murmuring noises.
"You will sit your Defence Against the Dark Arts exam tomorrow afternoon," she told me. "Is that OK with you?"
"Yep," I muttered, closing my eyes.
"Your neck is bleeding, Mr Lupin," she said.
"Mk…"
I heard her sigh, then felt her press her hand against my neck. This made it hurt even more, causing me to yelp.
"Where is Madam Pomfrey?" she asked.
"M-Madam Pomfrey?" I repeated.
"Shouldn't she be here?" McGonagall asked.
"Um, no, she's never been here before… she doesn't know what I am," I said.
"WHAT!?" McGonagall practically screamed. "Albus… Albus said that… he said…"
"I'm sorry, Professor, I don't know what you're talking about…"
"So, you're telling me that after every full moon, you've come back with untreated wounds," McGonagall looked furious, and was shaking, "and you've had to try to heal yourself?"
"Well, yeah," I said. "Sorry, should I have gone to the Hospital Wing?"
"ALBUS LIED!" she screamed. "He said that Madam Pomfrey would come and get you in the morning after you changed, to treat your wounds… I was a little suspicious about how you still had fresh wounds all the time, but… HOW COULD THEY!? Look, stay here, Mr Lupin, I'll be right back…"
She stormed out of the Shrieking Shack, leaving me sitting there alone, pressing a tissue against my neck as blood poured out of it.
Professor McGonagall came back a quarter of an hour later, accompanied by Professor Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey.
"You're telling me you let a werewolf attend this school?" Madam Pomfrey was saying.
"Look at the state of him, Poppy!" McGonagall shrieked.
"I'm sorry, but I don't want to treat a werewolf," said Madam Pomfrey, crossing her arms.
"THIS BOY HAS TO FIGHT FOR HIS LIFE EVERY MONTH—"
"Seems pretty alive to me!"
"- AND YOU ARE A HEALER! YOU HAVE THE POWERS TO HEAL HIM, BUT YOU AND YOUR PREJUDICE ARSE WON'T, JUST BECAUSE HE'S A WEREWOLF?" She spun around to Dumbledore, her face on fire, "AND YOU, ALBUS, DID YOU EXPECT THIS BOY TO BE ABLE TO HEAL HIMSELF… LOOK AT HIM!"
"Minerva, I —"
"SHUT UP AND HELP THIS CHILD! You're both acting like children," barked McGonagall.
Madam Pomfrey looked at the teacher, her eyes wide, before grabbing her wand and healing my fresh wounds. I just sat there, astonished, and filled with newfound respect for my Transfiguration teacher.
I did much better in the Defence Against the Dark Arts exam when I wasn't about to transform into a savage beast, and when we received our results on the last night, I was surprised to find that I got 94.8% in it. Overall, I'd gotten 87.3%, which was much worse than first year, but I'd still passed. I was going into third year with my three best friends, who had all passed as well.
All the second years got overly excited when two things were handed to us. One was a permission slip for our parents to sign to allow us into Hogsmeade, and the other was a list of extra subjects we could choose from for next year. There were five options: Arithmancy, Divination, Study of Ancient Runes, Muggle Studies, and Care of Magical Creatures, and we had to pick at least two. I knew straight away that I definitely did not want to do Care of Magical Creatures. I didn't know what was in that course, but if we had to learn about werewolves, I would have rather die.
Muggle Studies sounded rather boring. Mum was a muggle so if I wanted to know anything about muggles, I could just ask her.
I didn't know much about the other three, so I picked them all. Sirius, of course, picked Muggle Studies just to piss off his parents, and James and Sirius had agreed to do the same subjects as each other, so the two of them were doing Muggle Studies and Divination. Peter picked Divination to be with everyone else, along with Arithmancy so he could compare the two. As I went to hand my choices back to Professor McGonagall, I uncontrollably gave her a huge smile.
"Thank you, Professor," I said to her. "You have no idea how grateful I am for what happened the other night."
"No need to thank me," she said, smiling back at me. "I was simply standing up for what's right."