Chapter 24; I get it, give me a little credit it takes more than I have, pick fights with the past, I always lose, don't you know? That's no way to live

Oliver

Clarity was a funny thing.

He reached complete clarity when it came to his life, standing in the Star Labs hangar in his leathers, Sara wrapped around him, their unborn daughter in-between their bodies, as close as she could possibly be to both of her parents, in front of everyone.

He and Sara were having Laurel and Thea over for lunch. They had decided to get together with their sisters on a more regular basis to rebuild the relationships, well mostly Sara and Laurel's but still, it was nice to reconnect with Speedy. And Laurel, too.

It had actually been one of Dinah's suggestions before she had left for Central City two weeks ago. She had brought up the fact that there were a lot of old, unaddressed issues between the two of them and Laurel, and that maybe it was about time to address and talk about them. She was not wrong. But it was something Sara had told him she wanted to do first, so that Laurel would get her version of events before she would get his. Sara was convinced that Laurel would end up less angry at him if she talked to her first. He wasn't so sure about that, but he respected her wishes and was more than willing to wait to have that particular conversation with Laurel. Sara had yet to bring it up with her sister, though. They both thought easing into it might be the best approach and spending some time together and reconnecting a little beforehand might be a good idea. This is how their weekly lunches with just their sisters' and a weekly dinner with Laurel and Thea and Quentin came to be.

He and Sara had also been talking a lot about Dinah's second suggestion that talking to a psychiatrist might be something that could help them. She had brought that up more or less right before she had left for Central City and told them to take their time and think about it. That they could let her know if they decided to give it a try and she would put them in contact with her friend Sharon Finkel, who she thought would be a good fit for them.

Not that talking about their feelings and pasts came naturally to either of them, which was why they would insist on going together or not at all. There was no way of knowing what reactions that sharing their demons with a stranger might bring. This way at least they could calm each other down if need be.

They finally concluded that it was worth a shot, and they'd be heading to Central City semi regularly anyway for Sara's checkups with Caitlin.

It was while the four of them were trying to work out a schedule for next weeks' get together when they were interrupted by Barry, flashing in with Digg and Felicity.

"Barry. What's going on?" Oliver, just like Laurel and Thea had jumped up from his seat ready to attack and protect Sara from whoever had entered their place uninvited, not that she would've needed it from the looks of it and the way she was holding her knife. Not that her reaction surprised him or he considered her helpless.

Barry was occupied apologizing to Digg, who had rushed onto their balcony and was currently retching over the railing. Some things never seemed to change. He noticed that Felicity looked a little pale too.

"Hey." The speedster looked apologetic and a little sheepish while addressing the three women in the room.

"Barry is there something we can do for you? Do you need help with another speedster or something?" Laurel jumped right in to figure out what brought their friend here, in such a hurry.

"Maybe but that's not why I'm here." He confessed.

"What was so urgent that had you rush to Star City?" Felicity partook in the conversation, looking more like her usual self.

"Aliens." Oliver was pretty sure that he must have heard wrong, so he turned towards Sara, looking at her with a confused and begging look. She looked at him apologetically and just shrugged her shoulders, which was all he needed as confirmation that he had not heard wrong. She seemed slightly intrigued by the implications, which of course she would. His Bird was such a nerd sometimes… she hid it well, but… he rolled his eyes at her and her scientific curiosity.

"Aliens?" Thea repeated the word. She seemed to want to make sure too that she had indeed heard right.

"Aliens." Barry confirmed just as Digg came back into the room.

The former Green Arrow was only partially paying attention to their conversation, turning halfway back to Sara, studying her while she was intently listening to everything that was said. Trying to grasp her thoughts and feelings on the matter. This was why it took him a moment to realize that everyone was looking at him expectantly.

"What?" The last thing he had taken note of was Digg leaving because he was surprised his wife, who was the head of A.R.G.U.S was aware of the fact that aliens had landed on their planet. There were moments when he really didn't understand his friend. And questioned whether he was aware of the position Lyla held at work. The only person she had to answer to was one position below the President. Of course she would know.

"We can count you in, right?" Thea repeated what he assumed was the original question and why everyone was staring at him.

"I'm retired." He could see on the looks on everyone's faces that this was not the answer they had expected, or that they wanted. But he still wasn't sure whether he should pick up his bow and arrows again or not. Besides, he wasn't just going to leave Sara alone while aliens were attacking. There was no way he would… there was no way.

"But Ollie, it's… it's aliens." Thea looked at him incredulously. A look that Laurel and Barry shared.

"Oliver, if the earth is being attacked by aliens we could really use your help." Laurel was looking at him expectantly and demandingly. Did she realize that she was asking for him to leave her pregnant sister unprotected and alone?

"You can't just sit this one out, Ollie. You're the Green Arrow, we need you." Thea stood next to Laurel, sharing her facial expression and having her arms crossed in front of her chest.

Didn't they understand what they were asking of him? Putting the hood back on, going out there fighting, risking his life?

"Timeout people!" Sara had gotten up from her chair and was walking towards them, sounding very authoritative and it worked, everyone shut up and turned towards the approaching blonde.

"Ollie, can I talk to you for a second? Alone?" The look on her face changed from strict to soft the moment she turned towards and addressed him, holding her hand out for him.

"You should go. This sounds big and they could use all the help they can get, Ollie. They need the Green Arrow." Those were not the words he had expected to leave her mouth the moment they were alone in his room.

Oliver was looking at Sara, not sure if he had heard her right. She had to be joking, right? Did she seriously expect him to leave her alone after what had happened two weeks ago?

"Forget it. I'm not leaving you alone. Not after what happened last time. The only way that I might agree to go to Central City and help everyone out is, if I know for sure that you won't be here alone. And even then, even then, I'm not sure that putting on the Green Arrow's suit is something I want to do." There was no way that he would go to another city to fight freaking aliens and leave her here all by herself, unprotected. If he was in Central City helping everyone out, then who would be here and make sure that nothing would happen to Sara and their daughter should they get attacked?

"Look I meant to call Sin and ask her to hang out for a while now. How about I do that? Would you at least consider helping them out and joining them in Central City if Sin agrees to stay with me until you get back home?" Sara's voice was calm, collected, but determined.

He just looked at her for a moment, contemplating her suggestion.

If Sin agreed, Sara wouldn't be alone. Sin could call him if Sara would need him. Sara did feel comfortable around Sin and had been in contact with the young woman regularly during all the months the two of them had been traveling together, and even before that. Just like she had never lost contact with her when she went back to Nanda Parbat after the Siege.

She had been talking about having her over for a while.

It made sense, but still… he didn't like the thought of leaving her alone, being hundreds of miles away from her while the planet was being invaded by aliens… what if she got attacked? He'd have to talk to Sin to tell her what she should do in case of an emergency or if Star City was no longer safe and he couldn't come to help or get them. He had to make sure that Sin would have Nyssa's number and know to contact the other woman and do exactly as she tells her to in order to ensure their safety. There was no one he trusted more with Sara's life than Nyssa. He knew how much his Pretty Bird meant to the assassin, and he knew that there was nothing Nyssa wouldn't be willing to do to ensure Sara's safety. And there was no higher skilled fighter than Ra's al Ghul's daughter.

All of this made sense, and it was a solid plan on Sara's end, as usual, but still there was one problem.

He wasn't sure he wanted to put his leathers back on.

He wasn't sure he wanted to be the Green Arrow again.

So, he looked at Sara desperately, hoping she could provide him with the answer he needed, an answer he was desperately seeking, had been ever since they got home but one he just couldn't find.

"Oh, that is so cute. You guys are just gonna get together and go fight some aliens? Have you lost your minds? They're aliens, and there's only four of you. Well, five since Oliver suddenly seems to have lost his mind too!" Felicity was not amused by their idea and his agreement to put his suit back on and help them out. She did have a point. He turned towards Sara again, looking at her questioningly, wanting to know if she was really sure about this. She just gave him her patented half smile and nod.

"Not if we get Stein and, you know, all the others." Barry tried to help and ease Felicity's worry.

"They're calling themselves 'the Legends'." He helped out with a slight grin about the name. A time ship might give them some leverage against spaceships, maybe, and more fighting power given the additional fighters.

He ignored his little sister's comment of the name being egotistical but catchy, knowing who the idea came from and how they ended up with the name. And focused on Barry's question. He didn't know where they were at the moment, but he was pretty sure he knew who did. He turned towards Sara in question.

"I know where they were." She confirmed his thoughts.

Oliver was confused when Barry and Cisco returned with a young blonde woman in tow.

"Barry, I thought you were bringing an alien?" He questioned the speedster and was surprised by Barry's answer. Kara Danvers, Supergirl did not look like an alien at all. Not that he wasn't aware how deceiving looks could be. Sara could kick his ass any day of the week and no one would assume that she was capable of that just by looking at her. But still, he had not expected a bubbly ray of sunshine when Barry told them he would get them an alien of their own. He hoped her looks were as deceiving as Sara's otherwise they'd be screwed.

He let the introductions take place and waited a little longer while people started to mingle and talk before he lost his patience and tried to get everyone to focus on the issue. They were here to fight aliens and save the planet, not to socialize. He wanted to get this all over with and return home.

Hearing Kara talk about the Dominators and how they had invaded her planet was giving him another piece of the puzzle that the recent addition to their teams and was helpful information. Using her as a stand in would give them a chance to experience what they were going to be up against, well, sort of anyway.

"Since when was Robin Hood calling the shots?" Of course. This was why he preferred working alone, or with Sara. There was always someone who questioned every plan that was brought to the table. It didn't surprise him it was Mick Rory this time. And he had to admit, both Mick and Jax had a point. Choosing a leader was important. You needed one person who called the shots in group situations.

And he had no intention of being that person. He still wasn't sure he really wanted to be here to begin with, which was not the place from which a leader should come.

"I appreciate that, Cisco, but Barry put us all together, it should be him." It was a valuable reason and gave him a good excuse to not end up having to be the one calling the shots. There were enough hard choices he had and was still would still have to make in his private life. This was not a situation where he felt the need to unnecessarily add some more of those. He nodded at Barry encouragingly after the younger man's grateful look.

"Cool, all right, well, I guess as team leader, first thing to do, is… um… is start out by, um…" Only to watch him stumble and fall. Barry had no clue what he was supposed to do. Even after all these years, all the tips and training he's given him the speedster still wasn't good at coming up with a solid plan instead of just rushing into a situation, maybe it was time for him to shoot him again… just as a reminder that planning and preparation was more important than speed.

"Doing a test run." He sort of whispered to help Barry out.

"Let's do a test run, yeah. Let's do a test run. Um…" Oliver rolled his eyes at the other man. He had just told them what they should do a couple of minutes ago. That had been what had led to Barry being chosen as their team leader.

"Against Supergirl." He reminded him in a whisper.

"Against Supergirl. All right? Test run against Supergirl." the younger man repeated his words and then put a question into what should have been a statement and order. Thankfully saving himself by putting more authority in his voice at the end.

But of course, they couldn't have left it at that and give Barry a sort of win at the beginning of his leadership.

"So, we're all just going to be pretending that Barry's in charge while Oliver's backseat leading?" He could see Thea's amused grin and Laurel trying hard not to crack up, Oliver threw a glare at the Legend's newly elected leader, hoping it would shut his former protégé up.

He was on his way to suit up when Barry stopped him and Kara. Explaining to them how excited he was for the two of them to meet. And to Kara, how he had been the first person to train him. The blonde let him know that she thought he had done a good job.

"It's because I didn't hold back. I shot him. You can't hold back either." Oliver found it important that Kara understood exactly what her job was during the test run. They could chat later, once the threat was dealt with.

Talking to Kara made him realize that he was pretty much dealing with a female version of Barry.

Why did he suddenly have the feeling that this was going to turn into a disaster?

He had to admit, watching her fly had been rather impressive, but it didn't mean much against the Dominators, not if she was like Barry, relying too much on her powers yet lacking tactical skills. Hopefully she had understood how important it was that she not hold back so that everyone would go into battle knowing how hard it was going to be. He left to get changed and make a quick call to Sara to make sure everything was still fine and to see if Sin had arrived yet.

The thought brought back part of a conversation between Quentin and Dinah that he had overheard, about how he and Sara seemed to be very codependent. He pushed it aside and decided it was something that could be analyzed during their therapy sessions, if it was an issue, which was not how he saw it. Besides, what man wouldn't check up on his pregnant best friend during an alien invasion?

The thought made him stop in his tracks for a moment. When had those things become normal? Sometimes he wished life could be simpler again, like it was before Lian Yu.

He should have trusted his first instinct and just stepped away when Professor Stein and Jax wanted to talk to Barry.

He should've just stepped away.

Or even better, he should have stayed home. He should just have stayed home with Sara.

Aliens, time travel and now a message from future Barry to warn them about a different timeline and telling them how their Barry was not to be trusted. And part of Roy's team seriously wanting to tell everyone about it now, while it seemed they had not yet told their own team leader.

Learning that Barry had gone back in time and changed everyone's lives was a lot. Too much to focus on right now.

Why the hell did they think it would be a good idea to tell everyone that their lives had been changed and that Barry, their chosen team leader, could not be trusted? Right before going into battle against an alien invasion.

Yet, they hadn't even told Roy about the message yet. He was their captain; they had chosen him as their captain, why would they not trust him with information like this yet tell everyone, including Roy about it at the worst possible moment in time?

They should at least show Roy the courtesy of telling him before everyone else. He made a mental note to talk to Roy about this once they've taken care of the alien problem, to make sure that everything was fine with him and his team. He would hate to see him fail, Roy had come such a long way and having his team choose him meant so much to the young man, even if he would never actually admit it. It was good seeing him like this. The Legends were good for him. But he and Sara had already come to that conclusion three months ago, when Nate Heywood had sought them out to get help to find Rip Hunter's missing team.

"You made a mistake, Barry. It's part of the job, but we can't deal with it today." He turned away from them and stepped outside, removing himself from the conversation and the newfound information that needed to be pushed aside for the time being.

Part of him wished Sara was here. She was a lot better when it came to situations like this one and how to proceed. She was a lot more rational than he was and had a better understanding of humans than he in general. She'd know what the right way to proceed would be. But he was pretty certain that she would agree with him on this. Right now, was not the time to come clean and tell everyone that their lives had been altered. It was definitely not the time for Digg to learn that he had had a nephew that had been erased.

"What's that?" Oliver asked while he watched Kara defend herself against the Teams' attack and wasn't sure if he really wanted to know the answer to this.

"That would be heat vision." Barry confirmed his suspicions on both what it was and that yes, he really did not want to know this.

Oliver couldn't fucking believe it. Fighting aliens was one thing. Barry actually bringing an alien ally from another earth was something else entirely. Besides, he wasn't sure if he would ever get used to the idea of there being more than one earth and the fact that Cisco and Barry could just travel from one to the next as if they were going on vacation. But an alien with freaking heat vision? Why did these things always happen to him? Sara probably wasn't going to believe him when he told her this, and she was most definitely going to make fun of him and those crazy situations he always ended up in.

He looked at everyone lying on the floor after they had gone up against Supergirl. It had taken very little effort on Kara's side to wipe the floor with their teammates. Well, it only confirmed to him it was a good thing they were doing a test run.

"She really is a badass." Thea told Laurel, and Roy got up and walked towards him.

"It's kinda hot, I'm sure your bird would agree." The younger man said grinning once he was next to him and winked at the last part.

"She most definitely would." Oliver confirmed, gifting Roy with a grin of his own.

He gave them a moment to catch their breaths and get back up before telling them to go again and joining them this time.

"Are you sure you want me to keep going?" That was an excellent question of Kara's. She was strong, really strong and powerful. But they had yet to get close enough to her to actually do some harm of their own. They weren't ready, not yet.

"Yes, yeah, just give us five minutes, please." They needed to catch their breaths and maybe drink some water.

"Tell us what?" Oliver could hear Laurel ask Barry. He turned around and saw Cisco with the recording in his hand. No, just no. Damnit! Why would they be so careless with something so dangerous?

All he could do was watch the situation spiral out of hand while Barry was being pushed in a corner, but he refused to step in until it became absolutely necessary. Barry needed to handle this on his own, to keep and get the respect he needed to lead this team. Respect his friend wouldn't just not get but lose if he stepped in now.

What he did was tell John about his nephew.

"I had a nephew, Barry?" Digg's reaction was understandable.

"Yeah, your brother had a son, Andy Jr., AJ." Barry confirmed.

"So, let me… let me get that straight. You just erased a nephew from my life?" Oliver knew how much Andy had meant to John, and he could only imagine how much he must have loved his nephew in the original timeline. Learning that there had been a part of his brother that was still in this world, that a piece of Andy had been living on in a son that no longer existed must be hell. Oliver couldn't even fathom how his friend must be feeling right now. He was reminded of William for a moment but pushed any thought of his son away for the time being. Those thoughts had no place here.

He could also understand the Legends anger and disbelieve, especially when Roy pointed out how hard it was for him not to go back in time and stop Malcolm from using Thea to kill Sara… and how he wasn't changing events in the past so he wouldn't have publicly died in order to save Oliver and it would be possible for him to come back home.

Oliver wasn't sure whether it was a blessing or a curse when Felicity interrupted the argument to let them know that the aliens had abducted the president. And Lyla needed their help.

Once Barry was insisting everyone should go without him, he couldn't stay quiet any longer. This was ridiculous.

"Guys, this is… Hey! This is crazy! Everyone is going, including Barry. I… I'm not going without him." Aliens abducted the president, aliens threatened the whole world, and they were acting like a bunch of five-year-olds. This was not the time to deal with this, and this was not the way to deal with it. He hoped him refusing to go without Barry, would lead to everyone coming to their senses.

"Then you'll be here, Oliver." Digg's words shattered his hopes, and the looks he got from both Thea and Laurel confirmed that they were on Digg's side.

"You know what Oliver, it's okay. I will go with them, we'll get the President, and you stay here with Barry." He appreciated how Kara tried to restore some peace and find a solution that would work for everyone while being focused on the task at hand. Getting back the president.

Still, he wished Sara were here. He always felt more secure in the field with his Canary by his side, or knowing that she would help keep their team safe. He would feel so much better if she were going with everyone, making sure they'd be safe. Or as safe as they could be out in the field. He knew she could take care of herself and he didn't have to worry about her, he always did but not because he had any doubts about her abilities and handling herself in battle but simply because she was his Pretty Bird and he always worried about her.

Had pretty much from the moment they've met.

At least Roy was with them. He knew Roy would do whatever to keep Thea and Laurel safe, but he was also a hothead that led his emotions get the best of him. Oliver really hoped that would not be the case this time and that he would keep a level head.

Oliver could easily admit that he knew almost nothing about time travel. Even after several conversations with Roy in the last couple of months. Sara was the one who was fascinated by the concept and could spend hours talking to their friend about it.

"You need to stop beating yourself up over this." So, it was hard for him to understand what Barry was talking about. Not the concept, change something in the past and it affects the future that was just life. Every decision you make affects the future. That was a fact that could not be changed and his friend needed to realize that. They wouldn't be able to face the current threat to their home if he didn't get past this and focused on what was important right now, and that was the Dominators. They couldn't afford to be stuck on a mistake that was made and could not be fixed or changed. The world depended on all of them moving on from this.

"I'm sorry, but how can you say that? I'm responsible for all of this." Well, it looked like it took more than this to get Barry to move past this and realize that there was nothing he could do to change what had happened. He made a choice and now he needed to live with the consequences as harsh as it may sound, but that was just the way it was. Actions had consequences, and it was their responsibility to handle those.

"Well, maybe, maybe not. Barry, you made a choice. You wanted to see your parents alive again. Do you honestly know anyone, that if they were in your shoes, wouldn't do the exact same thing? I would do the exact same thing. Barry, after the Gambit went down, it was me, my father and a crew member on a life raft, lost at sea. Enough food and water for one person, maybe. My father took a gun, shot the crew member, told me to survive, and then turned the gun on himself. He shot himself in the head. He sacrificed himself so that I could live. Nothing I could do, no choice. Slade Wilson drove a sword right through my mother's heart in front of my sister and I. And I was there. I was helpless on the ground, I was powerless to stop it. No choice. Do you not think that I wouldn't give anything to go back and to make things different?" Oliver hoped that this confession, him opening up to Barry, sharing those very traumatic events with him might actually get his friend to understand that he was only human. And he acted the way most humans would. It was a natural desire to save those they love.

"You never told me that." The speedster looked at him, stunned.

"Barry, the world isn't different because you changed the timeline. Change happens, tragedy happens. People make choices, and those choices affect everyone else. I chose to ask Sara to come on the Gambit with me. That choice affected everyone in our lives in ways neither of us could've ever even imagined. You're not a God, Barry." Oliver needed to make sure he got his point across and that Barry would finally put this issue aside and let them focus on the one at hand. The one that mattered right now. The pending alien invasion. He never got the chance to find out because the next thing they registered was an explosion and Cisco summoning them through the intercom.

And they could see why on the monitor in front of them. S.T.A.R. Labs was being attacked by no other but their team members. Oh, this was just perfect.

They wasted no time getting out there.

Oliver couldn't believe this and wondered not for the first time in the last couple of hours or the last two years why he kept on letting Barry drag him into situations like this one. He cursed himself and Barry. He could be at home, curled up in bed with both Sara's instead of running from his own team and allies that appeared to be brainwashed by Aliens. If only he hadn't fucking agreed to put on his leathers and help them out.

Why did he decide that this was a good idea?

Why the hell had he listened to Sara?

"Maybe you should put the suit back on, Ollie. Even if it only is for you to come to the conclusion that you are done being the Green Arrow, but I think you owe it to yourself to go out in the field, possibly for one last time. Just to be sure that this is what you really want. That retiring the suit is what you really want. Besides, it sounds like the whole world is in danger. You really want to put the fate of our entire planet in Barry Allen's hands? I mean, I can pretty much only go by what you've been telling me about Team Flash, but you know… it sounds like they could really use your help. I'll be fine. We'll be fine. Dad agreed to come over and stay with me until Sin arrives. And Sin and I will be fine. I promise to call if anything should happen and Barry would be able to get you home in no time. I really think you need to do this, Ollie."

She had made sense, everything Sara had said had made a lot of sense at that moment, maybe it had been the way she had said it, or the way she had looked at him and played with his hand, while her feet had been lying in his lap, her head leaning on his shoulder and his other hand had softly been stroking her stomach. That had been the biggest argument for him to go to Central City. Their daughter.

"Oh, wow! You really did it this time, Barry." He couldn't believe that they were hiding from their own team, because they were being attacked by their own team.

"Seriously?" Barry sounded incredulous and looked at him slightly offended.

"Yeah, yeah. Yeah, seriously! You come to Star City, you ask for my help, and then, inevitably, immediately, we end up up the creek!" Why? Why did he always end up in situations like this whenever he agreed to help the speedster out with a problem?

"Yeah, okay. That's fair. They're moving in." Barry finally admitted.

"On three, Team Leader." Guess it was time to try and immobilize their own team in order to find out what was going on. It was always a tactical disadvantage if you were going for the capture while your opponent was going for the kill.

"Three." But better to be in the offensive than staying in the defensive.

"Okay." And they moved in as one to counterattack.

He cursed again and reminded himself of Sara and their little Hummingbird and why he was doing this. For them. To keep them safe. Making sure that she would not end up being born into a world that was overrun by aliens. To make sure they were safe and would not end up living in a world that was taken over by fucking aliens, for crying out loud. It was in moments like these that he missed the simplicity that had been Lian Yu.