CW: Child abuse referenced

The school talked of nothing but Snape for the rest of November. He'd become very unliked among students and teachers alike, and people would stop and stare at him in the halls, until eventually Snape refused to emerge from his dormitory at all.

"You've completely ruined his life!" Lily hissed at James during Charms one day.

"Did you even watch the video?" James said to her. "Are you're still standing up for that manky git?"

"He won't even come out of his dormitory now!" Lily cried "He wasn't thinking when he did those things!"

"Does that make it OK?" James snapped.

"You bully him!" she snapped back. "You play pranks, how would you like it if someone was to humiliate you like that?"

"And have I ever made someone bleed like that?" James said, crossing his arms. Lily fell silent.

The November full moon came, and it was brutal. My mind didn't seem to be working in the evening, and I was pacing around the Shrieking Shack, just waiting for the moment when the moon would come out. I wanted to taste blood, to rip someone, anyone to pieces.

Clearly the monster got what it wanted, as the next morning, I had indeed been ripped to shreds. But it just wasn't enough. I wanted to see someone else like that, not have to deal with the pain myself. All I knew was pain, and I wished I could have put that on someone else. Shaking my head, I looked at the damage.

My forearm had been bitten so deeply that I could almost see my own bone. I seemed to of done something to my lung, as every time I took a breath, it would come out wheezy and crackly. Madam Pomfrey soon came and took me to the Hospital Wing, performed a few spells, then quickly darted away from me. Sirius, James, and Peter soon came in, with their usual sympathetic faces.

"Your arm, Remus!" Sirius gasped. Madam Pomfrey had made me keep it in the open to try to help it heal, to 'let it have some fresh air', so now it was on show for my friends to see. Embarrassed, I pretended I just wanted to rest, so they let me be.

By the time winter came, the school was coated with a blanket of snow, and no one had seen Snape in weeks.

"D'you reckon he's OK?" James asked nervously on the last day of term at breakfast.

"Who cares?" said Sirius. "He's probably going home for Christmas anyway to his parents who'll spoil him and make him feel better."

"His parents won't spoil him, actually," Lily snapped from across the Gryffindor table. "His father hates him and his mother. He's a muggle and doesn't approve of a magical family. So, stop making assumptions about people if you don't know the full story!"

She stood up angrily and stormed away again.

"Absolute nutter, she is," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "You sure you want to marry her?"

James's response was interrupted by the owls flying into the Great Hall. Letters dropped in front of James, Peter and I. Mine was from my parents, and I opened it quickly.

Dear Remus,

Please don't come home for the break. Will explain later. Merry Christmas.

From Mum and Dad

I took in a sharp intake of breath. I thought I knew why; it was because of what they'd been talking about last summer, they were worried someone in the neighbourhood would discover what I was.

"My parents told me not to come home for Christmas," James said. His eyes were wide, and he looked upset. "Why don't they want to see me?"

"Mine said the same thing," I said. Maybe it wasn't just because of me.

"Same," said Peter gravelly.

"Mine didn't," Sirius laughed. "Well, that's great! We can all spend Christmas together!"

"I guess," said James, sadly. I was feeling a bit upset about it too, but since James and Peter's parents had said the same thing, I knew there would have to be a valid reason, but it did get me worried. James had already turned around the parchment to scribble down a response to his parents. I glanced over his shoulder to see he was demanding to know why.

"James," I said. "There's got to be a good reason, maybe they think we're too young to understand."

"If my parents are being killed then I want to know," James said angrily.

"They won't be dead," I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. "They sent you an owl."

"But—"

"They'll be alright, James, relax," said Sirius. "We get to spend Christmas together!"

"It doesn't make any sense," said Peter, frowning down at the letter from his own parents.

"Do you think it's to do with the war?" James asked.

"Who cares!?" Sirius cried. "We get to spend Christmas together!"

"Just because your parents don't care about you enough to—" James snapped but he broke off at a look Sirius was giving him. "Sirius, I didn't mean—"

Sirius just dropped his spoon into his cereal and stood up, turning around on his heel, marching away from the Gryffindor table and out into the halls of Hogwarts.

"You shouldn't of—"

"I know I shouldn't have said that, Remus," James said hotly. "I was just… I don't know, I'm going to talk to him."

"Give him some space," I said, looking down at my own letter. Peter had gone chalk white.

By the time there was only a week left until Christmas, we discovered that the majority of students who had at least one wizarding parent and wasn't a member of one of the crazy pureblood families had received a similar letter to what James, Peter and I had received, and the gossip of the school finally came off Snape and onto reasons why all the parents could have sent the same letter.

A few students had theories that all the letters were sent by Death Eaters, but others pointed out their own parents' handwriting.

"Maybe it's too dangerous to go home?" Edgar Bones, a boy in my year from Hufflepuff suggested. "Because of the war?"

Meanwhile, Sirius didn't want to talk to James, and everyone else was completely over their argument.

"Why would he forgive Remus so quickly for everything and not you, James?" said Peter one morning in the dormitory. Sirius had already left for breakfast.

James, who'd been down ever since he'd gotten the letter, laughed. "It's obvious, isn't it?"

"What's obvious?" Peter asked.

"One day you'll understand," James said, patting Peter on the back. "You want the shower, Peter?"

"Uh, yeah," Peter said, walking into the bathroom.

"What's obvious?" I asked James.

"You don't even know?" he said, his eyes wide. I shrugged. "Oh, god, Remus."

James just shook his head, then walked down the stairs to the common room.

"Wait, what is it?" I cried, following him. "What is it!?"

"You're an oblivious idiot, that's what," he said, walking out the portrait hole and into the main halls of the school.

"James!" I cried, following him. "You can't just say something then leave me hanging like that!"

"La la la la la," James said, putting his fingers in his ears as we came into the Great Hall. "I need to talk to Sirius, sorry. I'll see you later, OK?"

"OK," I said, awkwardly sitting down on my own to wait for Peter. James walked over to Sirius, and they argued for a bit before Sirius got up and followed James out of the Great Hall.

"What's James on about?" Peter sat down next to me, digging right into his eggs.

"No idea," I shrugged.

"Sirius is being a bit dramatic, don't you think?" Peter said, his mouth full of egg.

"I guess…" I said, "the two of them not talking is weird."

"Yeah," said Peter, looking up at the bewitched ceiling, which was white, just like the sky outside.

We sat in silence for a little while, before James and Sirius came to the table and sat across from Peter and I. Sirius's face was bright pink, and James had a small smile.

"What?!" Peter cried. "What am I missing out on!?"

"Nothing, Peter," said James, smiling sideways at Sirius.

"Shut up, James," said Sirius, going even pinker.

"So, you two talking again now?" I said, smiling weakly. "About time!"

"Oh, yes, and this young chap would like to say—" James said, patting Sirius on the back, who just slapped James's hand away.

"Nothing," he said. "Absolutely nothing. James, seriously stop it, I'll never tell you anything again."

"Please," James snorted.

Christmas day at Hogwarts was magnificent, however the mood was low, as everyone was still in the dark about what was happening with their own families at home.

Sirius was more cheerful than ever, happy for us all to spend Christmas together. He'd bought us all massive Christmas presents and insisted we all had a snowball fight.

"We've had snowball fights before, I don't understand why you're making such a big deal out of it," said James, pulling on his snow gloves.

"Because it's a Christmas snowball fight," Sirius said, flicking his hair. "It's a special event."

Sirius simply didn't understand what most of the other students were feeling, how they were all so worried about their families, but since he hadn't received the love James, Peter and I had grown up with, he didn't understand why anyone would be worried about their family.

I spent Christmas afternoon reading the Daily Prophet with James and Peter, and Sirius sat across from us, watching silently. The newspaper had articles about muggles being killed and homes being destroyed, but none of us heard any news on our families.

All three of us had sent an owl home every morning since the end of term, asking what was wrong, but none of us had received a response, and the world seemed to be falling apart.