Chapter 35

I get distant when I'm afraid, and I push you away always depressed, tryna find a better version of me making it difficult to open up and connect

Quentin

"Come in." This was not what he had expected when he rung the doorbell. He was almost certain that this was the first time since moving into the apartment that Oliver had not come to the door to let his guests in. But he decided to do what the voice of his daughter's roommate asked him to, opened the front door and stepped into the apartment. He followed the noise after taking off his jacket, all the while wondering what might have kept Oliver from coming to the door. He got his answer when he reached the door to the kitchen. Oliver was standing by the stove which currently had four pots on it, while Sara sat at the counter across from him, facing the tall man while stirring something in the bowl she was holding.

"Ollie, can you try this? I'm not sure. I feel like it's missing something… but I don't trust my taste buds so I'm not sure… what do you think?" he saw his baby hold out the spoon to Oliver who leaned slightly over the counter and let her feed the contents of the spoon to him.

"No, it tastes good, you could maybe add some more spices… but otherwise it's perfect." The man replied without hesitation.

"Okay, more turmeric? Or cardamom?" Sara was looking at the jars of spices on the counter next to her, contemplating.

"Yeah, both. And maybe some more ginger? Just to give it a little more zing or you could use some pepper or chili for that, depending on how much ginger you've already used. Not that you won't be able to eat your own pie." Oliver was cutting vegetables while sharing his thoughts.

"How about some saffron? I mean obviously not for the zing, but you know, I feel like it's still missing something, even if I add more turmeric, cardamom and ginger. Could it be saffron?" Oliver looked up from his vegetables the moment Sara mentioned saffron, and Quentin wasn't sure how to describe the look on the other man's face.

"That is genius, Pretty Bird. Yeah, saffron would work and make it even more special and memorable. Good thinking. If it's safe for you to take. Want me to look it up?" He smiled and winked at her before growing more serious.

"No, it's okay. It should be safe in the small dosages that are used in food." His daughter ensured her partner... maybe?

Pretty Bird.

It had been a while since he had last heard Oliver call his daughter that. They looked so domestic while cooking together. Which was a contrast to the last couple of weeks when Sara seemed to have kept Oliver at arm's length and some distance between them, physically but also emotionally. Now, they reminded him of a married couple again. It made him wonder… he was the first person who had arrived. And it was just him and them at the moment. Was this how they always behaved when no one was around? Was this normal? Or was it an exception? Or a recent development in their relationship?

Had it anything to do with Oliver's decision to keep the baby? No, he had made that choice over a month ago and Sara had still distanced herself from him. There were still moments when he couldn't believe it. Moments he was almost afraid to believe it.

Oliver was keeping the baby.

He had been so very grateful when the suspicions he's had when Oliver had left for Central City had been confirmed, and he had told them during their Sunday dinner after returning home from Central City that he had decided to keep the baby. That he decided to raise Sara and his daughter. Daughter. Sara and Oliver were having a little girl. His grandbaby was a girl.

Quentin wished he knew… he wished he had more information about their relationship. Yet, he respected their privacy and decision to keep everyone out of the loop when it came to the specifics of their relationship. Trying to do what Dinah had told him to. Leave them be and let them figure it out themselves, in their own time and pace. It wasn't easy.

Part of him wished that Di were here, but she hadn't been able to make it. Thanksgiving was Jeff's holiday with his children and she didn't want to miss it, but she had made plans with Sara to come visit for a couple of days next week. She had also agreed that they should talk about Christmas plans and had ensured him that there was no way in hell that she wouldn't spend their baby's first birthday and Christmas at home in 10 years with them.

Dinah and he had had more contact with each other over the last several months than they've had in all the years since their divorce. They talked at least once a week, trying to figure out how to help their daughters sort out their issues, how to help Sara and Oliver with their situation and ever since Oliver had decided to keep the baby, about becoming grandparents and everything that entailed. She also had been back to visit a handful of times and was the reason Sara and Oliver had decided to go to therapy. He had no clue how she had managed that one, but he was grateful. And the weekly appointments seemed to help them.

He watched them quietly a while longer. Sara having Oliver taste her pumpkin pie again before adding the filling to the crust and handing it over to the man to put it into the oven. Him handing her a knife, cutting board, and some vegetables after putting the ingredients for the pie away. Their interactions and the normalcy they represented would've made him wonder if they were aware of his presence, had they been anyone else. But he was sure that neither Oliver nor Sara would forget that someone had rung their doorbell and they had asked them to come in. Yet, they weren't acknowledging his presence, just barely inside the kitchen, nor changing their behavior to the usual one they presented whenever they had guests. They both looked so completely relaxed and at ease with each other. It was so good to see them like this. And he almost felt bad to disrupt their moment of peace, but he was starting to feel like a voyeur.

"It smells amazing in here!" Both blondes finally turned their heads towards him, greeting him and therefore acknowledging his presence.

He couldn't recall how the idea to have Thanksgiving dinner with his two girls, the Queen siblings and Smoak women had turned into this.

But he was positive that both Laurel and Felicity had played a crucial part in it. Laurel had been avoiding Sara, and he was almost certain Oliver too, ever since she and her sister had had what Dinah called a long overdue talk to clear the air and move towards leaving the past in the past. Something she insisted was unavoidable and important not only for their daughters and Oliver but also for their granddaughter. So she wouldn't grow up in a family that had underlying issues that could bring negative feelings and consequences for the little girl. That it was important that her parents and her aunt were on good terms with no bad feelings between them, at least not some because of events that had happened over ten years ago. It was hard to argue with that logic.

But so far all it had led to was Laurel avoiding her sister. Not that he couldn't understand her reaction, after some of the things she had learnt. Tonight was the first time since their talk that they would be in the same place. He wasn't sure what to expect. And if having so many people there was a good or a bad thing. Only time would tell.

It had surprised him when his older daughter had showed up at his doorstep unannounced right after she had left her sister's place. She had been a mess and broke down crying in his arms. It had taken her almost an hour to calm down enough to tell him what had happened.

He had been floored by what she had told him, most of all the information just for how long Oliver and Sara had been involved behind Laurel's back. He had never expected their affair to have been going on for that long. And he had to say he was mildly impressed about the fact that they had managed to keep it a secret for that long. They were both idiots back when they were kids. The amount of times they had gotten caught doing something forbidden, or the number of arrests they had under their belt, did not show a track record for them being good at hiding things… so this was very surprising.

On second thought, maybe not. Because now, when he thought about it, he had to admit that they actually hadn't been that good at hiding it. Everyone had just refused to see it. Including him. Even though the signs and implications had been there.

They had been friends for years; they had spent a fair amount of time together for years. None of that was unusual for them, so having the two of them spend time together alone was nothing to warrant suspicion. Besides, no one would've ever thought they would do anything like this to Laurel. They both loved Laurel so there was no way… those were all reasons why they had managed to hide the affair, why no one questioned some of their behavior. Why they got away with it for as long as they apparently had. It was the same reason he hadn't questioned whether Oliver was the Arrow while Sara had been involved with him. Sara had told him that Oliver knew nothing about the Arrow, and he had trusted his daughter's word. What he couldn't understand was why. Why Oliver hadn't made a choice between his two daughters. And why Sara let him treat her the way he did. It was not like his younger daughter at all.

But then again. Laurel had mentioned that Sara had told her that noone had ever made her feel the way Oliver had. That he would tell her she was perfect the way she was. That he made her feel special and wanted. So maybe they've had it wrong all those years, maybe Oliver hadn't treated her wrong, well, he had treaded her like his dirty little secret so he did in that aspect but when they were together. Was that why she had let him do what he did?

Quentin almost expected Laurel to blow up at Oliver at some point. Especially when Sara came to join them for dinner and attached herself to Oliver, the same way she had during that first afternoon the two of them had been home. Yet, she seemed to have shoved her feelings away for the night, still he made sure, and Donna helped, that they would not be alone in a room together. There was no need for a scene or drama on an otherwise really nice evening. Besides, he wasn't sure if Sara could take an argument between Laurel and Oliver. She had been especially distant tonight and seemed to make sure to stay away from Laurel and give her space. Sara and Oliver also appeared to mostly keep their distance from each other, except during dinner when his youngest sought his company and the only time she had actually joined the group. He had almost gotten whiplash from the complete contrast in their behavior from when he had first arrived to when the next guests had shown up. They had gone from blissful domesticity to keeping their distance and barely interacting.

Quentin had of course noticed the changes in Oliver and Sara's behavior after they had returned from Central City and it hadn't taken him long to figure out it came from Sara, but still tonight was extreme even for her. She had been keeping Oliver at arm's lengths lately, but she had never avoided him before. Of course, Oliver was taking part in the festivities and mimed the perfect host, Moira Queen's son indeed, and Sara didn't like crowds. So, that might play into it. But he was almost certain that the parents to be were doing the same thing he did, trying to avoid drama and a scene in front of everyone. After all, they both knew Laurel and her explosive temper very well. His thoughts went back to the first family dinner that they've had in six years when Sara had showed up with Oliver in tow. Yeah, he really didn't feel like having a repeat performance of that night, even less with more witnesses and not just family, and it seemed neither did Sara nor Oliver. They appeared to be going out of their way to not have a repeat performance of said night and rub their relationship into his older daughter's face. Reminding her of their former affair and betrayal. Both of them acknowledging with their actions that Laurel's freshly opened wounds were still raw and there was no need to add salt to them.

Sara and Oliver kept on surprising him with their actions, understanding of other people's feelings and perceptiveness. But most of all, just how exceptionally good they were at pretending. They were so good at it he couldn't tell when they were acting and when they were just being themselves. Well, he was pretty sure that they hadn't been acting or pretending when he had first arrived this afternoon… despite that, their performance now was so very convincing. He would've bought it without question had he not seen their relaxed selves, completely at ease with each other only a couple of hours ago.

It scared him. How deception seemed to come so very naturally to them scared him.

Kara

Sara had not returned after the incident that led to her leaving her place at the bay window in the living room, and Kara felt terrible about it. She felt that it was her and Alex's fault because they had asked questions that led to Sara feeling uncomfortable. She felt bad and guilty all throughout dessert and took the opportunity that presented itself once everyone was done and helped Oliver clear the table, ending up in the kitchen with him, alone. Just as she had hoped she would.

"Oliver, I'm sorry about making Sara uncomfortable in her own home. I really didn't mean for her to spend the rest of the night alone in her room. Is there something I can do to make it better? And have her join us again?" The tall man turned towards her at the sound of his name and listened to her intently, looking at her and giving her his undivided attention. She had noticed him doing that before, during the Dominator attack, and also tonight. Oliver always provided people with his full attention, something not many people did. It was admirable and a little intimidating and unnerving.

"Thank you, Kara. Don't worry about it. You're not responsible for Sara staying away for dessert. She hasn't been in a social mood at all today, as you might have noticed. It has nothing to do with you, trust me. Besides, she's not alone, Sin's with her and got them some pie a while ago, they're watching a movie. It's all good. Really. Don't worry about it." He smiled at her kindly and put his hand on her shoulder comfortingly. His entire demeanor surprised her, it was not at all what she had expected and didn't really fit his previous actions after Sara had left the living room.

"Are you sure? I feel awful about what happened. You were right, it was very rude of us. And I want to make it up to her." She insisted there must be something she could do. She was sure they were responsible, even if Oliver denied it.

"I'm sure. It's fine. This… she's not mad, she's probably already over it. Look Kara, I've known Sara for a very long time and this is nothing, you actually did her a favor and gave her an excuse to leave. She doesn't like crowds and honestly, she stayed longer than I expected her to. There's a lot… she's going through a lot right now, which is the reason for her anti-social behavior. I know that she probably came off as rude. Tonight was not an accurate portrayal of who Sara is." The explanation surprised her. She hadn't expected him to try to explain Sara's behavior to her.

"Okay, if you say so. And thank you for explaining." She appreciated it and fought the impulse to ask the questions his words had resulted in coming up in her mind.

"Of course. How about we head back in?" He gave her another smile while cocking her head toward the dining room.

Kara looked at Alex after she heard an unexpected noise that had woken them up. The apartment had been quiet for the last couple of hours, ever since everyone else had left.

They quietly followed the voice and the light that was coming from the entrance to the living room. They stayed hidden outside the room while watching Oliver and Sara.

Oliver was sitting on the coffee table in the middle of the room, his shirt was off, and Sara was on her knees in front of him.

"I swear Ollie, only you manage to get stabbed while buying fresh food at the market in Chinatown." The blonde woman's voice sounded equal parts exasperated and incredulous.

"Well, it's not like I planned to get jumped by some thugs while getting high-quality food… You okay? I can really do it myself, Sara." Oliver on the other hand sounded almost… amused… before it turned into concern. Kara shuddered at the thought of stitichung up our own wound.

"No, it's okay, I've got it." Now she sounded a little petulant and annoyed.

"Really, because you've gone way passed pale and are very close to white as a sheet… just let me know if you're going to puke… it would kind of defeat the point of disinfecting and stitching me up you've done if you end up throwing up all over your handy work…" the sound of his voice made it obvious that he was teasing her, which was weird, Oliver teasing, being playful was not something she had expected even less while he was being stitched up. But the layer of concern in his voice was easy to detect, even through the teasing. He had moved one of his hands and was stroking the cheek of the woman in front of him with the back of it.

"I'm not going to barf… I think. Here. Done." Sara put the needle down next to Oliver, disinfected his wound again and then took some gauze and put it on his side.

"I might faint though." The pregnant blonde added before scooting back a little and resting her head on Oliver's left thigh. It was a move that spoke of intimacy and a special kind of closeness. Both of their behaviors were a huge contrast to the ones they had presented during the evening.

It was this new position of the woman in front of him that led to them having an unobstructed sight of Oliver, or more accurately his shirtless torso and what Kara saw made her eyes widen in shock and horror. His body was covered in scars. She only vaguely noticed the tattoos on his chest and side, but she was mostly occupied with the different shapes and sizes of the scars and wondered for a moment how he was still alive. It also didn't take her long to find the fresh wound. On his right side, part of the white gauze covered some of his tattoo next to it, the wound was about the same lengths as the tattoo.

"God, this is embarrassing. I don't even remember the last time that the sight of blood made me bat my eyes, even less feel sick." Her voice was slightly muffled by his thigh. Oliver was stroking her hair with his right hand, while he took one of her hands in his left, interlacing them.

"Your body is going through a lot right now. This is probably just another side effect of the pregnancy… think about it. Just last week, the sight of raw meat nearly made you puke. I'm sure it'll pass and you'll be back to pulling an Allison Cameron instead of Snow White on me when I come home all bloody." Oliver's voice was soft and reassuring and he put a lot of humor in it at the end, just like his face showed amusement and he was grinning.

"Yeah, I hope so. This is seriously inconvenient… nice House reference I'm impressed… hold on, Snow White, really?" Sara's voice turned from somber to amused to incredulous towards the end.

"Yeah, well, someone spent hours making me watch hospital shows growing up… House M.D. was superior to the rest… and skin as white as snow… seems fitting…" Oliver countered, amused.

"That's true, we should watch it again, I mean, we stopped watching in 07… hair as dark as ebony and lips as red as blood… in need to be saved by a prince…" Sara continued sounding annoyed when she came to the fairytale.

"Details… you'd rather I compared you to a ghost?" the man replied, rolling his eyes.

"Well, yeah, actually I would rather be compared to a ghost than a princess that had men assault her while she was in a coma…" the blonde's head was still laying on Oliver's thigh, but she had turned her face towards his so she could look at him. That unexpected turn in their conversation took Kara aback. She had never looked at it like that. Oh wow, now that Sara had mentioned it, it was kind of hard not to see it that way. Snow White and the seven dwarfs had just turned creepy and disturbing. Now she was suddenly wondering what might have led to Sara looking at the fairytale like that… and almost at the same time decided that maybe she didn't want to know…

"It is a really disturbing story, and no, I will not tell it to our daughter… at least not the original version where Snow gets sexually assaulted by strangers… change that bit to something more appropriate… like I don't know… she woke up after he softly took her hand into his… how bout that?" Oliver on the other hand didn't seem to be surprised by the turn in their conversation at all.

"Better but still…" Sara had started to tap the fingers of her right hand on the outside of Oliver's thigh her head was still laying on.

"Alright, Caspar, I'll get Snow on a soapbox and have her kick some ass. Don't worry, I'll make sure she knows that she doesn't need a man or woman to validate her or take care of her… that she doesn't need anyone to take care of her…" Kara could make out Oliver's grin and the way he rolled his eyes at the woman in front of him while mentioning the soapbox and she felt like there was some backstory to that that she and Alex were missing. His voice turned serious as soon as he talked about his unborn daughter thought. And Kara was once again impressed by Oliver and his attitude and stance on the matter he was talking about. He didn't give the impression to be… it did not fit the typical alpha male vibes that they were getting from him.

"Except for you." Sara lifted her head and put her hands on his cheeks, looking him straight in the eyes before softly kissing him on the lips.

"Your little Hummingbird will always need you in its life." Oliver had put his hands on her pregnant stomach, softly stroking it.

"Quentin, Laurel and Speedy have been asking me again if I have decided on a name yet…" he let the sentence fade out and just hang there. They could see Sara dropping her hands from his face and putting them into her lap.

"I told you, it's your choice… just… I wouldn't mind if you ignored the Lance family tradition of using Dinah… for several reasons but mostly that naming your baby after its aunt who is also your ex would be highly inappropriate, no matter what my parents say." Kara looked at her sister confused and with wide eyes as Sara's words registered in her mind and Alex returned the look in kind.

Who was Dinah?

"Honestly, I've never even considered Dinah, exactly because of that. And I'm pretty sure Laurel would not appreciate us naming our daughter after her. Just like I'm not going to go with the Queen family tradition of recycling the names of former family members. Our little Hummingbird deserves her own name. With no complicated family history behind it. I mean, I thought about naming her after mom… but it doesn't feel right… not after everything with William and knowing… knowing that she would not approve of you and me having a child together. I'm sorry." They couldn't make out Sara's face but she had shifted back a little and her shoulders had stiffened during the conversation, they could see Oliver's face and noticed the way his eyes searched Sara's face and he pursed his lips before apologizing to her. Why was he apologizing?

"It's okay. You needed to share your thoughts with someone." Sara's voice was soft and slightly hoarse.

"I know you don't… I know this is a topic you don't like to talk about and I didn't mean to… I'm sorry." He kissed her softly before resting his forehead against hers.

Why wouldn't she want to talk about her baby's name? What was going on?

"Don't. Ollie. You don't have to apologize for talking to me about something that's important to you, even if it makes me uncomfortable. You won't ever have to apologize for sharing your thoughts with me. I'll always be here to listen. I promise." Sara's voice was still soft and hoarse, but there was so much underlying conviction it left no room to question her statement. Her hands were back on his cheeks again, softly caressing them with her thumbs, holding his face in them.

Kara was so engrossed in the scene that played out in front of her, she flinched when something pinched her thigh. She turned her head and saw her sister pointing her head towards the direction they had come from and the guest bedroom Oliver had given them to stay in for the night. She quietly followed Alex back down the hall, feeling guilty about watching Oliver and Sara and at the same time being very intrigued about their interactions and conversations.

Why was Sara referring to her baby as it, while Oliver was clearly not leaving any doubt as to the fact that it was a girl, that part of their conversation made no sense at all? Neither did Sara not liking the topic of her child's name… Kara couldn't help but be very confused but also very, very intrigued. She had this urge to solve the puzzle that was the Green Arrow and his Pretty Bird.

Every single interaction that she's had with Oliver or Sara or both of them together always reminded her of Winston Churchill's words about Russia:

«It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma; but perhaps there is a key.»

Only she was starting to believe that there was no key when it came to the mysteries that were Oliver Queen and Sara Lance.