Chapter 36

These battle scars ain't ever going to change the only thing that comes is the enemy within the post-traumatic stresses it never be over

Alex

Alex hadn't been sure about this. Spending Thanksgiving on another earth with strangers didn't sound like a lot of fun but Kara had been very insistent, and she had to admit that she was intrigued about this other earth and the people her sister had told her so much about and was looking forward to finally meet them and put faces to the names.

Meeting Barry and his friends was just as expected. Team Flash, as they referred to themselves were all very open and friendly people, which came with no surprise to her, they were Barry's friends and he was the male version of her sister, for once and Kara had only told her good things about them.

What had surprised her and given the look on Kara's face her sister too, was when Barry told them that there was a slight change of plans and Team Arrow would celebrate with them, including a handful of civilians who didn't know about everyone's alter egos and that they would not have Thanksgiving in Central City but in Star City. At Oliver's place.

That had been a very unexpected turn of events, given everything she had learnt about Team Arrow's leader from her sister. Not that it was an unwelcome one. She had actually wanted to meet Oliver Queen, the Green Arrow, the guy who had the guts to bench her sister during an alien invasion that had threatened the entire world. She really wanted to give him a piece of her mind. It wasn't hard for her to picture the type of man she was sure he was. She was a woman working as an agent in a secret government organization. She had been confronted with bigoted alpha males who had issues with powerful women, the entirety of her career. The "Green Arrow" seemed to fit that bill to a T. It made her wonder about the friendship between Barry and Oliver, Kara had told her about. Barry was such a sweetheart, and Oliver seemed to be your typical alpha male with a superiority complex. It made her worry about Barry and she hoped he wasn't trying to be more like his friend and, according to her sister, mentor. Kara had mentioned that there were circumstances that had probably played a part in why Oliver had treated her the way he had, but her sister was too nice sometimes and always tried to make excuses for people's behaviors.

Getting to Star City was no problem with Cisco's powers, he just "vibed" them there.

"Oh, it's no big deal, I do it for Caitlin regularly, makes it easier for her to do freaking Canary's checkups." The young man explained, yet it didn't help her understand what he was talking about. Checkups? Canary?

They ended up on what appeared to be the top floor of an apartment building. Penthouse? Really? Oliver Queen seemed to turn out to be a walking cliché. All that seemed to be missing was a hot, young blonde bimbo opening the door after Barry knocked.

Well, that was the first assumption she had about Oliver that turned out to be wrong. A very pretty, young brunette who turned out to be his baby sister opened the door.

"Hi, guys c'mon in, Ollie's in the kitchen and pretty much banned everyone except for Sara, Dig, Lyla and Sin for some reason from entering… and I'm pretty sure Sara is simply using the kitchen as a place to hide away from everyone… even though her pumpkin pie is divine and to die for. Well anyway, c'mon in make yourself at home. I'm Thea, by the way, Ollie's sister. You must be Kara's sister Alex.". Thea Queen was styled to perfection and very warm and welcoming. She let them pass, showed them where to hang their coats and then steered them towards what they soon learnt was the very spacious living area. The apartment was gorgeous and appeared to be huge and was actually consisting of two floors, if she saw that right. The high ceilings were especially impressive, so was the balcony that seemed to stretch the entire lengths of the apartment. Oliver Queen liked to live in style, she had not been wrong about that. The fact that he cooked surprised her.

"Yeah, Sara likes marvelous views, and height. I think that's why they went with the apartment with the high ceiling and the wooden beams with space between them and the ceiling. I'm sure Sara likes to hang out up there. Well, not right now, I guess… and I wouldn't be surprised to find either of them up there at some point, to be honest. C'mon sit down, make yourself comfortable, would you like something to drink?" She listened intently to their host's sister's explanation while taking it all in. Sara? It was the second time the woman was just casually mentioned by Thea. A name that wasn't familiar to her and her sister hadn't mentioned before. She turned her head to look at Kara, but she didn't seem surprised by the mention of the woman. That made her wonder. Who was she and why hadn't Kara told her about her before? She had talked about what had happened here in lengths and about all the people she had met. So why not the woman who apparently lived with Oliver?

"Sit down, get comfortable and you know, just act as if you were at home. Well, sort of. The bay window seat is off limits, everywhere else is fine." Thea was the perfect host, making the introductions, offering them drinks and just ensuring that everyone was taken care of. She looked so natural and as if she had done this at least a hundred times, which was interesting, Alex guessed that she was in her early twenties, very early twenties. Not an age where one would normally be this poised and equipped to entertain a gathering like this. So, it was probably her upbringing… upper class?

She had to admit that everyone was very friendly and welcoming. Conversation flowed easily, and she was really enjoying herself. They had been in Star City for a while when a tall, muscular, light-haired man stepped into the living room. He had that typical Alpha male vibe that she's been confronted with her entire career, just as she had assumed he would. Her first impression of Oliver Queen was exactly what she had expected. Well, mostly. He had come up to her, offered her his hand and smiled charmingly while introducing himself and thanking her and Kara for coming. He then joined in on the conversation. He was friendlier than Kara had described, actually he was a very decent host. To almost everyone's surprise, it almost seemed to come to him naturally. He, just like Thea, was styled to perfection and the way he held himself with confidence and poise, spoke of an upper-class upbringing.

It was while watching Oliver, to get a better read on him that she noticed how his attention turned from the group, to the entrance of the living room and the smile on his face gave way to concern for just a split second before it changed back.

Alex turned her head to see what had led to that reaction from the man and saw a beautiful, blonde woman step into the room. She was styled to perfection too, just like Thea and Oliver: the gorgeous dress she was wearing was neither emphasizing nor concealing her obviously pregnant state.

"Sara, baby, why don't you come join us?" Quentin Lance, Laurel's father, former detective… long story, addressed the newcomer and answered her question as to who she was.

The new addition walked further into the room and came a little closer, but didn't seem to want to join them. She stopped before she had reached them.

"Thanks dad, I'm n… Hi everyone." She started but stopped herself before actually answering the question. Dad, so she was Laurel's sister. She turned her head back towards the blonde just in time to notice the silent conversation she seemed to have with Oliver, who had shifted to the edge of his seat and leaning forward a little as if getting ready to get up any moment.

"Ollie, I think you might want to check on the turkey… I would've but… you know…" she addressed the man in question.

"Got it, meat's my responsibility. Thanks, Pretty Bird." He got up from his seat and squeezed her shoulder while walking past her. Sara put her hand on his for a moment, holding on to it when he lifted it from her shoulder and walked past her, following him before letting go of his hand and turning right towards the bay window while Oliver kept ongoing straight ahead and out the living room door. While Sara made herself comfortable on the bay window seat. Turning away from everyone and looking out the window.

Alex mulled over what Oliver had called the woman he shared an apartment with.

Pretty Bird.

That was an unusual nickname, and she wondered what the story behind it was. It was also kind of sweet. Had he come up with it?

Oliver returned only a short moment later, retaking his seat and rejoining the conversation. Yet, Sara stayed away, which was very strange, her whole behavior was strange. It made Alex question what might have brought it on. There seemed to be a lot more to it than disinterest and rudeness. Sara had looked very uncomfortable when she had stepped into the room and her father had asked her to join them. It had almost looked like she was asking Oliver for help to get out of the situation and answering the question.

They'd been at the apartment for about an hour when a couple arrived, they were introduced to her as John "Dig" Diggle and Lyla Michaels with their daughter who wriggled free from her father's arms almost immediately and took a beeline for Oliver, yelling "Uncle Ollie up!" while running at him as fast as her little legs were carrying her. The tall man stood up from his place on the couch and squatted down in order to catch her and throw her in the air, beaming at her while the little girl was laughing. He caught her and sat her on his hip while peppering her face with kisses, which the girl returned.

She could see Sara in the corner of her eyes watching the exchange between the two and smile fondly, yet, there seemed to be sadness around her eyes.

"How's my big girl?" he wanted to know from the child in his arms, right before setting the girl back down once she answered his question with "good" and tried and wriggle free. She set out to greet everyone she knew with hugs and kisses as soon as her little feet hit the ground. Little Sara Diggle, as she had learnt the girl's name was, looked confused for a moment after she was done with everyone in the room and ran back to Oliver, who squatted back down to be closer to her height.

"Uncle Ollie, where's Auntie Sara and little Hummingbird?" she looked at him with big eyes and seemed to expect he have the answer to her question, which was interesting, she could've asked anyone, yet she chose to run all the way back to Oliver.

"She's feeling a little sad, why don't you go give her some hugs and kisses to make her feel better?" Oliver drew her closer, turned her around and pointed to Sara, sitting at the bay window. The little girl took off at full speed again towards the bay window and the blonde woman. She climbed up the two steps and Sara helped her up onto the seat where she was tackled by the two-year-old who hugged and kissed her and somehow ended up on her lap, with her little hands on the woman's pregnant stomach her face almost pressed into it while she appeared to be talking to the baby.

The entire exchange between Oliver and Sara Diggle threw her for a loop. She had not expected that. This very unexpected side to Oliver was very refreshing and intriguing. Oliver Queen turned out to be a lot more layered and complex than she had thought.

Maybe she had been wrong about him.

Alex had wondered for a moment if Sara would join them when Dig declared that according to Oliver, dinner was ready and they should all sit down. She had almost been sure that the blonde wouldn't when Oliver joined them with the turkey and placed it on the table, offering the knife to Quentin, to her utter surprise.

"Would you do the honors, Quentin?" It was at that moment that Sara appeared right next to the tall man and leaned into him while he was handing the knife over to the older man, draping his arm over the shoulders of the pregnant woman next to him while pulling it back. He tugged her a little closer and kissed her temple before bending down and whispering something in her ear. He then took a step back to pull the chair next to his closer, ending up behind Sara in the process. The seemingly random move led to his bulk, almost shielding the mother-to-be from the guests next to them. Sara scooted her chair as close to Oliver's as was physically possible and had one of her hands on his thigh almost for the entire meal, while he had his arm around her. But Sara got up and off the table almost the moment everyone was done, and Oliver made no move to stop her from returning to her window seat. Their actions were as confusing as they were intriguing.

What was their story?

Was the baby Oliver's?

She had also noticed the looks the two had been receiving from everyone. And she was sure that there was a lot that she was missing here. Especially between the two sisters, if she didn't interpret the obvious tension between them wrong. But the look Laurel had given Sara when she snuggled up to Oliver had spoken volumes, and Alex wasn't sure what exactly it had been saying, but that had been one hell of a look. Quentin's face had turned apprehensive and his eyes had moved between his daughters for the entirety of the meal. Donna, Felicity's mom and Quentin's girlfriend, seemed to have engaged Laurel into an intense conversation on purpose and dragged her own daughter in shortly after, once she had noticed the way Felicity had looked at Oliver and Sara too. That had been another very loaded look.

What the hell was going on with Team Arrow? And how did Sara play into it?

Sara, the beautiful pregnant woman hiding away at the bay window seat, intrigued her. She appeared to be disinterested in the events in her home or the conversations, and yet, Alex could've sworn that she wasn't missing a thing that was going on. There was something about her… something she couldn't put her finger on, but the agent in her knew that there was more to the woman than met the eye. The blonde appeared to be hyper vigilant the whole time. And her eyes, there was a deep sadness behind those sapphire eyes and they looked too old for a woman her age, as if she's seen too much. They were endless pools of a whirl of emotions, like the water in a lake that was bright and sparkling clear on a sunny day but appeared like a bottomless pit of darkness at night. Darkness? Where had that come from?

Alex tried to recall Sara's eyes again. There had been sadness and pain and hurt and something… something dangerous, something that made her think of darkness.

What was it that Sara was struggling with? Alex was almost certain that there was a deeper cause and reason behind her behavior, even more after dinner than before. It had almost looked like she had been using Oliver for support, as if the physical contact with him was making her more comfortable around the rest of them. It was almost as if… Sara reminded her of… it almost appeared as if Sara had a form of PTSD.

The other interesting thing was that besides little Sara Diggle and Oliver, no one actually approached her and just left her alone in her own corner of the living room. And the only time Oliver had approached her was after dinner, when he brought her some freshly brewed tea and the blanket from the back of the armchair in the living room, before going back to helping clear the table.

It was while the Queen siblings and two-thirds of the Lance family, including Felicity's mom and Sin where in the kitchen she remembered something, that had surprised her for a moment but she had forgotten until now, probably because Dig and Lyla were currently trying to get the origin of her question to go to sleep.

"Is there a reason that Dig and Lyla's daughter share the same name as Laurel's sister? Or just coincidence?" She voiced her thought and after Barry, Caitlin and Felicity shared an uncomfortable look Cisco decided to answer her question after looking around.

"Dig and Lyla named their daughter after Sara, to honor her. Baby Sara was born the same night that Sara had died." Wait, what? She wasn't sure she had heard right and turned to Kara, wondering if she was aware of it and what exactly it was that Cisco was saying. The dark-haired man looked around again and explained a little further, not that it made a lot more sense to her. What was a Lazarus Pit and how exactly could… they brought her back to life more than a year after she had died? How as that even possible? And no wonder she was withdrawn and distant. Jesus! She was still trying to wrap her mind around this new, very crazy information when Felicity chimed in and explained Cisco's peculiar behavior. She had been so absorbed in everything she had learnt that the new voice completely took her by surprise.

"Now they know why what?" Oliver's sudden appearance surprised all of them and from the stern look on his face and the squinted eyes, not to forget the tense undertone in his voice suggested that the question was rhetorical, and he already knew the answer. Felicity looked as if she desperately tried to come up with a good lie. She never got the chance to say anything though, because another voice answered his question.

"Why Dig and Lyla named their daughter Sara." She turned towards the toneless voice that had spoken and saw that the woman they had been talking about had left her vigil at the bay window and was standing close to them, across from Oliver. She got similar vibes from her as she did from Oliver. Both of them seemed to contain power, anger, and violence inside of their bodies.

"The Lazarus Pit is a pool of regenerative waters, also known as the Fountain of Youth, it has been used by the League of Assassins for centuries. Its waters have mystical powers and can heal wounds or even revive someone who has died. But there's a price to pay. There's always a price to pay… I wouldn't recommend the use of it." Her face was an emotionless mask, yet her stance seemed almost hostile, her arms were crossed over her chest, just above her rounded stomach, making the pregnancy even more obvious. She could feel the hairs on her neck stand up and a shiver run through her, warning her of danger. But it were the eyes, Sara's eyes that send chills down her spine. They reminded her of an underwater cave, deep, beautiful and dangerous, hinting at all the secrets that are hidden away in the endless darkness of the abyss inside. There was danger and darkness hidden inside those sapphire depths that she was certain she didn't want to release. The blonde's attention moved to Oliver, and she spoke to him in what Alex assumed was Chinese, before walking past him and leaving the room.

Huh, Oliver spoke Chinese? That was an interesting fact, and a tough language to learn.

Her attention turned to the man in question, and it did not help to get her body out of the fight-or-flight mode it had gone into at Sara's sudden presence. Oliver's entire stance screamed danger, his shoulders were tense, his arms flexed, and his fists clenched, his eyes were squinted, and his lips pursed, and the look in his eyes mirrored the one in Sara's. And Alex had to admit, that this was the first time since meeting him, that Oliver Queen felt like a threat, like someone she should be afraid of, someone dangerous. She could feel herself shudder and made a note to herself that Sara was someone that could turn Oliver into a serious threat.

Alex wasn't sure whether Felicity was brave or stupid when she chose this moment to point out that Oliver and Sara speaking another language around people who didn't speak it was rude. Wasn't she aware of the situation? This was so not the moment for that. Their conversation had been extremely inconsiderate and possibly triggered something in Sara, which Oliver took personal and turned his former care into full-blown protectiveness. He reminded her of a dangerous predator, defending his territory, ready to pounce at any given moment.

"It's also rude to share personal information about other people or talking about them as if they weren't in the room, while they are literally only a couple of feet away. Sara simply let me know that she's going to lie down, because she's tired and her lower back hurts and the baby is kicking her ribs. Not that it's anyone's business. Your conversation topic also made her feel uncomfortable and is not something she likes to talk about, even less share with people she barely knows. Having people talk about you as if you weren't there doesn't make someone feel welcome either." She could see the effort it took him to stay calm, to keep his voice even and not raise it in anger. He was right, of course he was. Had she known that her innocent question about a two-year-old's name would've led to that explanation and this situation, she would've never asked. This had not been her intention. She hoped the situation could be defused before it exploded. It appeared that Felicity had not been brave before and finally got the hint and managed to read the room and the situation, apologizing to Oliver, who in return pointed out he was not the one they needed to apologize to but to leave Sara alone, for now.

Alex turned towards Kara and realized that her sister had heard the noise that had woken her up too. It had almost sounded like something falling to the floor. They shared another look before getting up to make sure everything was alright. They slowly and quietly followed the light that shone from the living room and could make out voices the closer they got. They stopped right in front of the door leading to the open space of the living area and saw Oliver sit on the coffee table in the living room while Sara was kneeling on the floor in front of him. His bloody shirt was lying on his left, while the first aid kit was on his right side next to him on the table. It was also the right side that Sara was stitching up. They looked well-rehearsed and the D.E.O. agent was sure that this was far from the first time that Sara had to bandage Oliver's wounds. The conversation they were having was only reaffirming her belief. She was surprised when he was more concerned with her well-being than his stab wound that warranted stitches. Again, an action she would not have expected from him.

"I might faint though." The pregnant blonde added, after assuring him she would not throw up all over him, before scooting back a little so she could rest her head on Oliver's left thigh. It was an intimate move that spoke of familiarity and closeness that must represent the sheer depths of their relationship.

The sight of Oliver's naked torso made Alex suck in a breath and hold it for a long time. The vast amount of scars on his upper body was shocking. And it was very obvious to her he must have been tortured at least once, given some of the telltale scars. There were scars from bullet wounds, stab wounds, burn marks, and was that a… bite mark? Taking in his scars made it clear that it was a wonder that he was alive. She couldn't even imagine the pain and horrors he must have faced… his body was like a physical representation, a constant reminder of the trauma he must have faced.

And she suddenly understood. She understood Oliver Queen in a way she never thought she would. She also understood his reasonings for benching Kara during the invasion.

Oliver was a soldier. Oliver had been to war several times from the looks of it. And yet he was still here, he was still fighting. Still trying to help and make a difference. Pushing forward, trying.

"God, this is embarrassing. I don't even remember the last time that the sight of blood made me bat my eyes, even less feel sick." And so was Sara, from the sound of it.

They were the same.

Whatever hell Oliver had been through, she was almost certain that Sara had shared it with him. She knew now what they reminded her of. Soldiers that had been at war together, that had fought together, that had become more than allies, more than friends, even more than family. The ones that came back usually came back sharing a bond with their fellow soldiers that was almost unbreakable. They had an understanding for each other that no one else shared, no one else could share. Because they had seen and faced the same horrors, horrors most people couldn't even imagine. And given their conversation it sounded like they had already known each other before whatever had happened to them had happened, they had grown up together. That would only make the bond stronger.

And she was faced with yet another side of Oliver Queen's. He was completely relaxed and joking. He had just been stitched up for a knife wound that span the lengths of about a third of his side, and yet he was completely at ease and being playful with his roommate.

Alex could feel the bile rise in her throat when the conversation between the two suddenly turned, the sound of Sara's voice, the look on Oliver's face… no wonder Sara had felt uncomfortable around a group of people. Wait, did that mean… was the baby… god, she hoped not, she couldn't even imagine what she must feel like if her pregnancy resulted from being sexually assaulted… Jesus.

The last of her thoughts thankfully appeared to be proven wrong by Oliver's own words.

"… our daughter…" so she had been right, the baby was Oliver's. It made her wonder about the type of their involvement. Things seemed to be a lot more complicated than they looked. And yet another turn in their conversation only confirmed her thought. Alex could feel a pang and her heart constrict painfully when she watched and listened to their interaction while talking about their baby. Whatever Sara was struggling with was keeping her from embracing her pregnancy and baby. She hoped that they could figure it out and that Sara would feel better soon. The conversation made her very uncomfortable. They shouldn't be here, they shouldn't be listening to a very private conversation by two people who had the potential to become their friends. She pinched Kara's thigh to get her attention and cocked her towards their room, signaling to her sister that they should leave the couple alone. Kara followed her without hesitation.

"Sorry, I didn't tell you about Sara. She had come to Central City after the fight was over, and it had been pretty obvious from their actions that they were involved. And I accidentally found out she's pregnant, but it seemed that they hadn't wanted people to know yet, so I said nothing and telling you would've felt like betraying their trust and doing something they wouldn't approve of. And I know different earths it wouldn't have really mattered because no one knows them there but… I'm sorry." Her sister babbled and explain as soon as they were back in the guest room.

"Kara, it's fine. You did the right thing. I got the impression that they are very private people, respecting that is important. And if I read them right, the reason they weren't going public with her pregnancy was probably a safety percussion. I'm sure Oliver has a lot of enemies."

Alex ended up lying awake for a very long time. Processing everything she had learnt and seen.