Ahm... well...
We get the reveal of the baby's name in this! Yay! Let me know what you think about it. Seriously, I was really excited to share the name with you, I've known it for like months and almost couldn't wait to let you guys know, so please, tell me what you think about my choice. Even if you don't like it or think that Oliver (and Sara) wouldn't chose it. I just really wanna hear your thoughts, lol.
I'll get more in depth talking about this chapter in the notes at the end... don't want to spoil it.
Chapter 37
There is a fire inside of this heart, a riot about to explode into flames tell me you won't break my heart You won't tear my world apart I got a fear in my blood don't just slip away in the night
Sara
Sara wasn't sure what drove her to do this... why she suddenly felt she had to do this... maybe it was the newly painted door. It was beautiful, painted in a light jade green color, and in the middle of the door next to the doorknob was a tree branch with a bird's nest on it and Ollie had written "The littlest birds sing the prettiest songs" on the top half of it. She could see… just the door to their baby's room… she had never known that a door could portray and represent someone's love and devotion as deeply as this one did Oliver's.
Or maybe it was the conversation she's had with Sin at Thanksgiving…
She hesitated for a moment, studying the door before carefully opening it and very slowly and hesitantly stepping into the room she had been avoiding for so long. No, not avoiding, pretending didn't exist for the last seven weeks... until now. She only managed to take two steps before she stopped in awe. It was beautiful. It was almost... magical. She could easily see how much love and care Ollie had put into this room.
It was breathtaking.
The walls were a soft, calming blue, his favorite color. The ceiling was an even lighter blue, but it was decorated with hundreds of little stars with real star signs, mimicking the actual night sky. It must have taken Ollie ages to get that alone done... Sara stared up at the ceiling for a long time, recognizing the night sky Ollie had recreated, probably by memory. It was a sight that they had looked at almost every night together for months while they had been stuck on Lian Yu. Making up their own star signs and giving them ridiculous names. She bit her lip as her eyes began to tear up. Leave it to Ollie to do something so sweet, so personal… yet no one besides the two of them would ever know just how significant and unique it was.
She turned her damp eyes away from the ceiling in order to gaze around the room, stopping at a changing table that was strategically well placed in the corner beside to the bay window seat. The wardrobe was on the wall across from it. There was a white leather rocking chair and a small wooden table with a white lamp on top of it in the opposite corner connecting with the wall adjacent to it, the wall to Ollie's room. A wall she had so far only let herself glance at out of the corner of her eyes. She turned her eyes towards the wardrobe again, the beautiful white piece of furniture with the intricate design. Everything was just… there were a couple of small toys scattered around the room on different pieces of furniture or on shelves, but it was obvious that everything had its place, there was a blanket thrown over the rocking chair, matching the pillow on the rocking chair, which again matched the pillows on the bay window. Framed pictures of Ollie and her, of Thea and Laurel and her parents, of his parents and Tommy were placed on shelves around the room… every single piece, every detail just matched and fit.
It was perfect.
And at last she let her eyes move on to the wall to Ollie's room, after she had taken everything else in, and came to a rest on the crib placed between the new archway to his room and the corner. It was beautiful, white with an arch in the back and smaller ones on each side. There were purple bows made of the ribbons that tied the soft crib bumpers to the wooden bars, and above it hung a gorgeous mobile with different colorful birds flying around. Next to the crib was a bassinet she knew was meant for Ollie's room, once the baby was born.
Sara was ripped from her astonishment by the baby trying to put its foot up her ribcage again… no, not the baby…
Ollie had given the baby a name just a few of days ago. He was going to keep it for sure now. There was no question about it. He wouldn't have settled on a name otherwise. It was why he kept on pushing that decision along, even though everyone had been badgering him to make a choice. And he finally had. Two days after Thanksgiving. Proof of that was right in front of her, quite literally in the writing on the wall.
The wall behind the crib was decorated with their baby's name, in Ollie's handwriting, surrounded by hummingbirds.
Mila Beatrice
Gracious, dear, bringer of joy
Ollie chose well. Just as she knew he would.
Mila Beatrice Queen, their precious little baby girl... whose little foot she was currently trying to gently remove from her ribcage, again, while she thought about the tiny creature's name and felt a warmth for only the second time since she peed on that damn stick all those months ago in a rundown motel room in South Africa.
Mila
Mila Beatrice Queen.
Her hand moved from her ribcage down to her protruding stomach and stayed there.
"Mila." The name left her lips in a whisper, like a prayer, and her daughter kicked her hand as if to confirm her name.
"Hey there, my dear, precious little miracle." Sara looked down, watching her hand slowly move across her stomach, watching the movements of her daughter. Trying desperately to hold on to the warmth she was feeling. Hoping that the feeling would stay. Yet deathly afraid that it was just fleeting, temporary and would be replaced with the usual icy dread. The paralyzing fear that she would end up being responsible for hurting her baby, for bringing pain and darkness into her sweet baby girl's life. She couldn't let the darkness touch Mila… her joy, her dear daughter.
Mila Beatrice Queen.
Her daughter.
Her and Ollie's daughter.
Mila.
Daughter.
She was having a daughter.
She'd known that for months, but something had changed now.
Something deep inside of her had shifted.
Her baby girl.
Their precious little Hummingbird, as Ollie had taken to call her.
Mila.
Dear one.
Beatrice.
Bringer of joy.
Ollie chose perfectly, their dear one, their precious miracle.
Sara felt her eyes tear up, sniffled and bit her lip, her hand still on her stomach, staring at the wall in front of her. The wall that proudly bore her daughter's name.
She tried so hard to keep the tears at bay, to pull herself together but... she couldn't… she couldn't imagine… standing in her baby girl's room, a room Ollie had created all by himself, seeing the crib her daughter would sleep in, picturing Ollie rocking their little Hummingbird to sleep and putting her down into her tiny bed… she couldn't… it hurt, the thought of not being here to actually witness the images that her mind conjured up just by being in their daughter's room, hurt.
Standing in her baby girl's room, knowing that she won't be here to see her turning over for the first time, play on the floor, starting to crawl, taking her first steps, saying her first words, watching Ollie be the amazing father she knew he was going to be, was killing her.
How could she… she wanted to be here. She wanted to watch Ollie with their baby… she wanted to snuggle with him on the rocking chair while they were trying to get her to sleep… she wanted to sit by the bay window, watching the people walk by while nursing her daughter… she wanted… she wanted it all… Ollie and Mila… she wanted to be here… she wanted to be a part of this… of their lives. She wanted to see Mila grow up, and she wanted to watch Ollie be a dad.
Sin was right.
She wanted it all. She wanted it all so badly it hurt… and she couldn't help it, she automatically moved her hand in front of her mouth trying to contain the desperate sobs that tore free from deep within her very soul.
Unable to move her eyes away from her daughter's name, even when the tears falling from her eyes blurred it to the point of being unrecognizable. It didn't matter; the sight had already been burned into her memory for all of eternity.
Mila Beatrice
Oliver
Oliver walked towards his room when he spotted Sara, standing in the center of the nursery, which in and of itself was a sight that surprised him. She had avoided their daughter's room like the plague ever since he had started to get it ready for their little one. One of her hands was on her stomach, the other one in front of her face, and she was sobbing. His heart stopped for a moment and ice-cold dread spread through his body. He was reminded of that moment, of that dreadful moment, over ten years ago, when Samantha had called him and told him she had lost the baby. And for a moment he was back in his childhood home, holding the phone, feeling pain he had never felt before. Not understanding why, why he was feeling hurt instead of the expected relief. It had hurt more than he dared to admit to himself and even less his mother. He couldn't even… remembering how much the loss of an unborn child he had only learnt about days ago, a child to whose existence he hadn't even had the chance to get used to yet, had hurt… He couldn't… if something was wrong with his baby girl he didn't think he could take it, he didn't think he'd survive it.
No, please, no… not his Hummingbird, he'd do whatever… just please let her be okay. He prayed to whoever may listen, begging that his daughter was okay.
He took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself, Sara needed him to be calm and collected if something was wrong with Mila. She needed him to be strong.
He pulled himself together and walked towards her. He could be strong for her. His feet felt like lead and his heart grew heavier with every step he took until he was finally standing in front of her. He moved his hands to her shoulders; the move leading to her tearing her gaze away from the wall in order to look at him. The look of utter and complete despair in her eyes nearly brought him to his knees. He felt like someone was sitting on his chest, squeezing his heart.
"Are you okay? Are you hurt? Is something wrong? Is Mila okay?" The questions left his mouth before he knew what he was doing. He had no idea where he had gotten the air from to give them voice. He felt like he couldn't breathe. So much to staying calm.
"Yeah, I'm fine, we're both fine." He closed his eyes and released the breath he hadn't been aware he was holding in relief. Sending a thank you to whichever power he had begged for that outcome just moments ago.
"I was just… Ollie, she likes her name, look… hey Mila, my precious little baby girl." Oliver followed Sara's instruction and looked at her stomach for a moment, before he put his hand on it next to hers and lifted his eyes back up to her face to watch her, while he heard their daughter's name fall from her lips for the very first time. He was sure that nothing had ever sounded this sweet. The look on Sara's face changed from despair to amazement in a matter of seconds. He could feel the smile on his face while he watched the amazement, affection, wonder and just pure love and joy on his Pretty Bird's face. The weight on his chest had lifted, and he was almost sure he could fly if he tried.
"Our precious little baby girl. Ollie, we're having a girl." Sara's eyes teared up again, but this time he knew that the tears were from joy and he smiled at her softly, squeezing her shoulders affectionately.
"Yeah, we are, pretty amazing, isn't it?" He put one hand on her cheek to dry her tears while he used the other one to draw her into his arms. In this moment he knew, he just knew that Sara wasn't going to leave them. That she was going to be a part of their family.
That they were going to be a family, raising their daughter.
Together.
God, he couldn't remember the last time he was this happy. The last time he felt so carefree and just excited about the future.
"This room is amazing, Ollie. I can't believe you did all of this, by yourself." She lifted her head from his chest to look at him in wonder.
"I didn't do it all by myself, I had some help… but I'm glad you like it. I was hoping you would." He smiled at her softly and took her hand, moving them both towards the rocking chair in the corner. He sat down and drew her down with him, making her sit on his lap, her back towards his chest. His arms wrapped around her middle, his hands interlacing on her stomach, she could feel his lips grace her temple, before he rested his chin on her head. Sara snuggled further into him, placing her hands on his forearms, before sliding them towards his interlocked hands, caressing him all the way until her hands rested atop of his. They sat like this for hours. Just quietly taking in their daughter's room, basking in each other's company. Thinking about all the ways their lives were going to change, once Mila was born.
Looking forward to it. For the very first time.
Oliver got off the phone with Laurel just to come face to face with Sara. He sighed, he should've known. Nothing good could ever happen without reality punching him in the face, reminding him that everything wasn't perfect.
"Is everything okay?" His phone had rung while she had been in the bathroom.
"Yeah, just Laurel, asking if we could sit together sometime next week to talk. And I agreed and promised her I would explain to her why I got involved with you in the first place." He pursed his lips and watched her reaction. Sara bit her lip and took a step back, folding her arms.
"You don't have to do this, Ollie." He understood what Sara was doing, and he appreciated it, but she was wrong. This was his fault; all of this was his fault. They wouldn't be in this mess if it hadn't been for him. There would have been no need for Sara to talk to Laurel two weeks ago if it weren't for him.
"Sara…" he began, closing his eyes.
"Look, we both agree that Laurel deserved some answers, that she deserved the truth and that's what she got. There's no need for you to dredge up the past too, to go through all of that again. I told her what she asked me to. She knows the facts. Talking to you won't change them." Sara insisted, taking a step towards him.
Oliver started to regret telling Sara that he had agreed to talk with Laurel and explain to her how he ended up cheating on her with her sister. He wasn't sure why Sara suddenly had such a vehement reaction towards his decision. They had agreed that they would both talk to Laurel. He had let Sara talk him into letting her talk to her sister first. But that was as far as it went. That she would talk to her first, and he would talk to Laurel after she had. So why was she so insistent now that he not talk to her sister at all?
"She knows your truth, Sara. Maybe the facts won't change. But your reasons weren't my reasons, and she deserves to know why I did what I did. I at least owe her that after everything I put her through." He was adamant about that. He wasn't going to back out. He told Laurel he would explain, and that's what he was going to do. It was long overdue, after all.
"The facts are the facts, Ollie. We kissed, we avoided each other, we got drunk, we fucked, we avoided each other, rinse and repeat for a couple of months and then things got more serious. That's what happened, and you're not going to tell her anything else. My truth, your truth, it's all the same in the end. And we both know neither one of us will ever tell her the entire truth because it would hurt her too much and neither one of us is willing to do that. Not to mention the fact that it is none of her business and personal. I don't want you to… it nearly destroyed you… twice. I don't want you to have to go through that again. I don't want you to be put through that again. Talking about it, talking about the past, about the people we used to be was so much harder than I thought it would be. Remembering everything and more importantly, specific events was so damn painful… You are doing so good, Ollie. I don't want to… I can't… please. At least think about it? There's no need for both of us to go through that pain again." Her heartfelt words, the concern and pain in her voice underlined her explanation perfectly. She was right, he knew she was right, but still he felt he needed to do this. Needed to talk to Laurel and explain to her why, why he had had an affair with her younger sister. Why he couldn't make it work between them. Why he had cheated on her repeatedly.
Why he had chosen Sara over her. He felt obligated to do this.
"She deserves to know my version of events." It was important that Laurel understood that it was his fault. That everything had been his fault.
"Talking about it hurt, Ollie. Telling her, sharing our past with her, letting her know about things that were private, that no one was ever supposed to know hurt so bad. I don't want you to have to relive that too. Have to relive the reason that drove you into my arms to begin with. Not now. Not when you are getting better. I know that you feel like this is something you have to do. That you owe it to Laurel, but you don't. You don't owe her this, Ollie. She wanted to know about the affair and now she does. There is no need for you to talk to her about it too. She got what she wanted. This isn't about her, this is about you. Please, for once in your life think about yourself, put yourself and your needs first…" her passionate words and deep concern about him were touching and made it hard for him to disagree with her. The look in her eyes alone spoke volumes. He averted his gaze for a moment and realized that she had noticed and recognized the meaning of his actions, she knew him better than anyone after all. And it was this action that made her go from concern to irritation and change her tactic accordingly.
"Fine, think about your daughter then. Is satisfying Laurel's need to know everything about the past worth risking the progress you have made and a relapse? How will you take care of Mila then? How do you plan on taking care of a baby while you're incapable of taking care of yourself because you are battling your depression?" He couldn't believe her. This was low, even for Sara. He knew that she meant well, that she was only trying to protect him, but this… this was way out of line. And what did she mean with "How will you take care of Mila", he thought… they were… had she changed her mind? He had thought, after their moment in the nursery, when Sara for the first time acknowledged that they were having a daughter, no, more than that even used her name, he had been sure… He had been so sure that she would stay with them. That she had finally changed her mind. But now… after what she just said, he wasn't sure. Maybe he had misunderstood, maybe he had read the signs wrong. Maybe she hadn't changed her mind after all. Her words reminded him of the night they had shared just a couple of days before Thanksgiving of the conversation they've had the day after. In which Sara clarified that nothing had changed.
"Don't. Don't you dare bring our daughter into this and use her as a means to get your way, Sara. You don't get to do this, you don't get to question my abilities of taking care of our daughter. This has nothing to do with her. We agreed that we will both talk to Laurel, explain to her how all of this happened. And I intend to do just that. But fine, if you think now's not the right time, I won't talk to her now. I'll just wait until the next time Laurel asks me for answers. And we both know she will. But hey, maybe if you're lucky it will be after Mila is born, and you skipped town again, that way I won't be a bother to you. If you think that will be a better time to drag up the past… to face the pain? Well, I guess for you it probably would be, because then you won't have to deal with the consequences and won't be burdened with taking care of us. Because you'll be long gone by then. So, don't you fucking use Mila against me, not when you're apparently still unwilling to even try to stick around and help take care of her. I don't need you to try to protect me… we don't need you. Not when you don't actually want to be here." Oliver knew exactly when he crossed the line and went too far. Yet, he couldn't stop himself, he was angry but more importantly hurt.
He watched how her back and shoulders stiffened, how one of her hands was placed on her stomach and how stricken she looked and the utter and complete devastation that appeared on her face but the worst of it all were her eyes… those gorgeous, expressive eyes of hers that never failed to draw him in. There was so much agony reflected in them, behind the sheen of tears that had yet to fall. And he was solely responsible for that.
Oliver had never hated himself more than in this very moment. And there were a lot of moments in his life that he had hated himself.
"Sara… I didn't… please… I'm sorry… Pretty Bird…" he held his hand out towards her, trying to show her, trying to somehow repair the damage he had done, knowing that it was useless. Nothing he was going to say now would change what he had said before. Nothing he said could make this right again.
What scared him the most was her reaction. She was just standing there. Not moving. Not saying anything. Usually she gave him a "fuck you, Oliver" whenever they had an argument, and he crossed the line and walked away. Why wasn't she walking away?
"Sara, say something, please." Her silence was deafening and scaring him to death.
"You're right. I overstepped my bounds. It's your life. Your choice. It wasn't my place to… I shouldn't have… I won't do it again. I promise. From now on, I'll stay out of your life, both of your lives." She emphasized the meaning of her words with her hand on her stomach. Making sure that he understood that she was talking about their daughter too, before turning around and walking away. Her voice had been hoarse, but quiet, collected and final. And he could feel his heart drop, the icy-fist of dread clenching it in its hands.
This was not… fuck! That was not what he wanted, not what he meant. This was the last fucking thing he wanted! Fuck! If he could've hit himself, he would've. How… how had they ended up here? How had they gone from snuggling in their daughter's nursery to this in a matter of minutes? He hadn't read her wrong. He had been right. He had thought that maybe… he was sure that Sara had been wavering. That she had started to consider the possibility of them raising their daughter together.
And he had just fucked it all up. And for what?
"Sara…" He cleared his throat to remove the lump that was currently keeping him from saying something, anything to stop her from walking away from him. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to do that, given the pain the lump was creating in his throat and the fact that he felt like someone was sitting on his chest and keeping the air from entering his lungs. Yet, somehow, he managed to form words and give voice to them, no matter how hoarse he sounded. Nothing mattered except for him somehow repairing the damage he had done.
"That's not, that's not what I meant. That's not what I want. You know that! You know that that is the last thing I want! You know that I want you in my life, in our daughter's life. I want you to fucking stay here, stay with me, raise our little Hummingbird together. I fucking want you in my life, in our lives, more than I ever wanted anything before! I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Oliver took a shuddering breath in order to pull himself together, to keep from falling apart right then and there.
"I fucking love you so damn much that just the thought of you walking out of my life, out of our lives, tears me apart. Knowing, knowing that you will leave again when our daughter is born is killing me." Sara had stopped in her tracks at his words. Her back was still turned towards him, but she was no longer moving, and he knew from her poster she was listening intently. He moved his hands up to rub his burning eyes for a moment and gathering his thoughts before continuing.
"I'd get down on my fucking knees and beg you to stay if I thought it might change your mind. I'd fucking ask you to marry me if I thought it might change your mind. Fuck! I might just do it anyway, so I won't have to wonder if maybe it would've worked and made you stay. I'd do whatever you want me to do to change your mind and keep you here with me, with us. I just want us to be a family, Sara. To do this together. And it's true I don't need you in my life, I can go on without you, I've had to too many times already. I don't need you in my life, but I want you in it more than I have ever wanted anything, my Pretty Bird. I swear." Oliver swallowed hard, clearing his throat again, the lump just refused to leave. At least Sara had turned around again, quietly staring at him. It was hard to make out the look on her face through his blurry vision. She hadn't left yet, and she no longer had her back turned towards him. That was at least something.
"My life is so much better with you in it. I breathe easier when you're home, the weight on my shoulders isn't quite as heavy with you next to me and life is less dark and hopeless with you by my side. Having you here with me… you're the only person, the only person who doesn't make me feel like I'm damaged, like I'm not enough. You're the only one, the only one who knows me, who loves me for who I am, the only one who loves every fucked up little piece of me. The only time I ever feel normal, when I don't feel I have to pretend, is when I'm with you. And I don't know how I'm supposed to do this without you. I don't fucking know what I'm doing. How I'm supposed to keep a baby alive. But I know I can't lose her too, I can't lose both of you. I wouldn't be able to survive losing both of you. I get… I get your reasons. I understand. And I'm sorry for everything I've said. If I could take it back, I would. But I can't. I never meant to hurt you, I swear, Sara, and I didn't mean what I said. Please forgive me, Tweety Bird." He stopped talking and rubbed his eyes again in order to clear his blurry vision.
Sara was staring at him with a look he couldn't deceiver. He had known her for almost twenty-five years; he knew her better than anyone, he could usually read her like an open book, yet he had no idea what was going on in that brilliant, stubborn head of hers. He again hadn't meant to say all of this. Wasn't even sure where it all had come from. It was the truth, but not a truth he had been aware of or ever meant to share with her had he been. His throat hurt, there was still a lump in it and his sight was turning blurry again, from the tears in his eyes. He had just spilled his innermost thoughts and feelings out to her, laid all his cards on the table, he shortly recalled the last time he had let himself be this vulnerable in front of someone. Felicity had torn his heart apart right after. He hoped this time would be different.
At least he knew that Sara would never intentionally hurt him. That she would never use his past, his trauma against him. That she wasn't going to rip his heart out and leave him alone to deal with the aftermath on his own. Blaming him for doing the best he can. For trying to get better, for trying so very hard to do better. No, Sara had never blamed him, she had always made sure that he knew that it wasn't him; it was her, and he knew that she had meant it every single time.
His eyes were still staring into hers, searching for any clue as to what was going on in her head, what she was going to do. He just handed her his heart. Was she going to keep it or give it back to him?
Notes:
First of all, I'm so sorry! Please don't hate me! And I don't usually do cliffhangers because I sort of hate them. But it was the right place to cut the two chapters and I almost have the following chapter done, so it should be up in like a day or two. Again, so sorry! And I love Oliver and Sara so much! Believe me! But they have a mind of their own and are so damn stubborn. Oliver and Sara rarely fight but when they do it gets real ugly, real fast. They're both headstrong and stubborn and know the other just too damn well to not know exactly where to hit that it hurts. Plus they both tend to lash out at people when they're hurting.
So here to my choice when it comes to the name of Oliver and Sara's daughter:
Okay, so I spent a lot of time thinking about the baby's name. And changed it a couple of times along the way… lol.
Mila Beatrice was not planned and brought her parents a lot of pain and emotional struggles because of it. But she is also the reason why Oliver is trying to get better, to work on his issues to move forward. He knows that there is a big chance that he will raise her without Sara and he wants to make sure that their daughter knows just how much she means to them, no matter how she came to be and all of the issues and struggles that came with her existence.
That was one of the reasons that he took a lot of time deciding on a name and ended up choosing Mila Beatrice.
Mila is a Slavic name meaning ‚gracious, dear' and the meaning in Russian is ‚Dear One' whereas the Italian one is ‚miracle'.
The meanings of Beatrice are ‚happy, bringer of joy, blessed, she who brings happiness'.
Oliver wanted to make sure that no matter what happens to him or Sara that their daughter will always know how much she means to them, even if people would try to tell her differently, her name would make sure that she knows how dear she was to them and that she meant everything to them and brought them joy.
I did consider Mia, because Oliver chose the name in the show, and I generally go with the baby names that a character in a show chose because obviously that's the name they'd pick, or Ria, but decided against it. Simply because of the meaning of the name and how his and Sara's daughter came to be.
Oliver chose Mia in remembrance of Moira, which is sweet and so Oliver but Oliver is in a different place in life here than he was when he had Mia. The reveal and consequences to Moira's choice in making Oliver believe his child had died are still very real and prominent in his life. William is not a part of his life and I don't think he has gotten to the point of forgiving Moira for her actions concerning his son, yet. I strongly believe even in the show, had Felicity gotten pregnant around the time Sara did here he would not have picked Mia because he was still struggling with the horrible decision his mother had made. By the time Felicity got pregnant in the show, Oliver had a good three years to come to terms with Moira's choice and William had been a part of his life during that period too.
Also Moira and Sara had a complicated relationship and history and I don't think Sara would've gone for it given the whole William business. She would not have wanted her daughter to be named after the woman who was responsible for Mila growing up without knowing her older brother. Moira had taken one child from Oliver, she would not have her be honored by naming his second child after her.
And I think I sort of already explained the Dinah/Laurel reason in the fic. I always get confused reading stories where Oliver and Sara name their child after Laurel, I sort of get what people try to do but given their complicated history it's just really weird to me and a little inappropriate if you ask me. Maybe as a middle name after she had died… maybe… but she's still alive here and yeah, that's a no-no in my opinion. And I just can't picture Oliver or Sara doing this.
As always let me know what you think and thank you for sticking with this rollercoaster ride that this story has turned into.