CW: Thinking about unpleasant childhood memory

"Could all students please proceed to the Great Hall immediately."

Professor McGonagall's voice, echoing through the school through some amplifying spell. Something I hadn't heard since the early hours of the eighteenth of September. It was now the fourth of October, so longer than two weeks later. It was the last class of the day on a Friday, and Professor Binns just looked bored.

He led us out of the Great Hall, and we all began to talk about what we thought the meeting could be about. It could be either good or bad, and I had a terrible feeling that it would be bad.

We came into the Great Hall, and to my surprise, Dumbledore was standing there. Had they managed to get the imperious curse off him? Or had Voldemort brainwashed all the other teachers to act like him?

"Students," he said. "I give my thanks to Professors McGonagall and Sprout who have risked their lives to set me free from Voldemort's curse. Now, I need you all to understand that he could come back at any time, or he sends his death eaters, and we will be having practice lockdowns every day, so let me teach you the drill now.

"Our school theme song, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts will begin to play throughout the school grounds and Hogsmeade, and all students are to silently crawl under their desks, or any table they're near, and the teacher with you will perform the Disillusionment charm on every student. On a weekend, you will hide wherever you are, and the nearest teacher will perform the charm. From now on, all students must be always under the supervision of a teacher whether it's a class day or not. You are all to remain silent during each drill because, for all you know, it could be real. This procedure will take place if there is an actual invasion of the school. You may all return to class now."

The first lockdown drill happened the next day, on a Saturday, and we were in Hogsmeade. It was very annoying because each year level had to stay together and was accompanied by a teacher. The fourth-years were with Madam Hooch, so it wasn't overly terrible, but I felt sorry for the third-years, who were stuck with Professor Binns.

The lockdown happened while we were in the Three Broomsticks, and as soon as the song began, Madam Hooch immediately began yelling at us to be quiet and go under the tables.

"Yeah, yelling is the new quiet," James whispered, rolling his eyes as we crouched down.

"Shh!" Madam Hooch hissed at James and waved her wand at us. I felt the trickling sensation as the Disillusionment charm went over me, and I couldn't see anyone anymore. It would take a while to get used to that.

The drill lasted around ten minutes until Dumbledore's voice was amplified everywhere, saying everything was fine, and we could continue with our daily activities.

"Oh, god, I hit my already bruised head while going down," said Sirius, clutching his head as the charm was released and we sat back on our seats. His head had been almost fully recovered after he'd fallen off his broom just five days ago.

"Have you found out how that happened, yet?" I asked.

"I still think it was Regulus," said Sirius, his tone turning angry. "I mean, he's all of a sudden on the team, and they happen to try to train at the same time as us!"

"But Sirius, he fell as well," said James, "why would he jinx his own broom?"

"To make himself look less suspicious!" Sirius cried. "He's going to become a death eater when he's sixteen, why wouldn't he jinx brooms at thirteen?"

"Are you sure he will?" I asked, then lowered my voice, "You're meant to become one too, but you don't want to, maybe he's the same."

"But… but they need at least one perfect son…" said Sirius, taking a huge sip of his butterbeer. "Whatever. Are we allowed to train for Quidditch?"

"It was the first thing I asked yesterday, and McGonagall said that Madam Hooch will supervise us," said James, looking over at Madam Hooch, but she didn't respond to her name being mentioned.

"Good, hope the Slytherins aren't there…" said Sirius.

"OK, not all Slytherins are bad," said Peter. "Remember Monifa?"

How could I forget? I thought with a pang in my chest.

"She was the only nice Slytherin in the world," said James. "Other than her, every Slytherin is pure evil."

"Not Andromeda!" said Sirius. "She was in Slytherin back in the day when she was at school, and she's one of the nicest people I know."

"When did she graduate?" James asked.

"'71. Right before we came," said Sirius. "We almost got to be in school with her. Instead, we just got Narcissa."

"I wonder how Narcissa's going," I wondered out loud. "Y'know, after we destroyed her wedding. I feel a bit bad…"

"Yeah, but it was funny, and she's annoying. Like her expression, you know… looks like she's got dung up her nose," said James, and Sirius grinned.

"Alright, we're heading back to the castle now!" Madam Hooch cried. "You can all get some homework done for once!"

We all stumbled out of our chairs and slowly walked back to the castle. James then began ranting about Quidditch and continued all the way to the common room. Once we were there, I grabbed my History of Magic textbook and began reading it for study, and was interrupted when Marlene and Dorcas decided to make an entrance through the portrait hole.

"HOLY SHIT, THE O.W.L.s are this year!" Marlene shouted, sounding angry at herself for forgetting. "WE'RE GOING TO DIE!"

"You're going to have to kiss me before we die, then," sighed Dorcas, and they both sat down. A few heads turned at Dorcas's statement, but most people assumed she was joking. She probably was.

All the fifth years then started going crazy, and I just rolled my eyes and walked up to the dormitory.

"Remus, why are there so many cuts on your face?"

"I… I'm not allowed to tell you."

"Why?"

"Because my mummy and daddy said not to."

"Why did they say not to?"

"Because they said I'm not allowed to."

"You're being a bit mean, Remus."

"Why?"

"Because you're not telling me! I thought we were best friends!"

"I'm sorry, Eric!"

"I don't want to be friends with you anymore."

"Please be friends with me. I'm sorry!"

"No."

Dad opened the door, and a woman was yelling at him.

"WHERE'S YOUR SON!? WHERE IS HE!? I'M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE, AND YOU'LL BE IN BIG TROUBLE…"

"W-what's the matter?" Dad was saying.

"YOU! ABUSING YOUR SON! MY SON TOLD ME ABOUT THE CUTS ON YOUR SON, REMUS!"

"That… how did you… I don't know who your son is…"

"STOP PLAYING DUMB! I'VE SEEN IT MYSELF! BRING HIM OUT HERE NOW, OR I SWEAR I WILL COME IN!"

When Dad didn't respond, the woman was marching into the house, and she let out a huge gasp when she saw me.

"Remus, honey, talk to me, who did this to you?"

I looked at dad, who had walked briskly into the room, and he shook his head.

"Nobody," I said.

"How did it happen then, sweetheart?" the woman asked.

"Um, I fell over."

"Right…" she said, then she turned to my dad. "Do you have a telephone?"

"No," said Dad.

"Fine. Remus, would you like to come with me? We're going to my house to call the police. Eric will be there."

"Eric?" Dad repeated, "Who's Eric? And my son can stay with me, thank you very much."

"With his abusive father? I don't think so."

"I've never hurt him, I swear!" Dad cried.

"Come on, Remus," said the woman, taking my hand.

"NO!" I shouted.

"Come on, darling, it's all going to be OK."

She was taking me away from my dad because she thought he was abusing me, whatever that meant.

My dad then began shouting at her and took me back from the woman. Overwhelmed, I was pushing back tears.

"Excuse me, but what you have been doing is illegal, and I don't want this poor child to spend another second with you!" the woman cried.

"I want to stay with Dad!" I cried, clutching onto him.

"Is your daddy mean to you, Remus?" the woman asked, and I shook my head.

"No, he's very nice to me," I said, wishing the woman who yelled at my dad would just go away.

But she kept arguing, and eventually, my dad was yelling at her back, and the yelling just dissolved into noise.

I don't know what triggered the flashback. It had been when I was seven years old, and I'd made friends with a muggle boy who lived next door, but he was always curious about my cuts, and eventually told his mother.

She'd eventually realised that my dad was innocent once my mother had come home from the shops and managed to make up the excuse of bad bullying at the school I went to. After the woman had left, I'd been told off for having a friend without my parents knowing and been lectured on the risks. I'd cried for an hour afterwards, alone, of course.

I was lying on my side on my bed when the flashback happened, and still lying on it afterwards. I had friends now who accepted me. I didn't need to worry anymore. I took in a deep breath and turned around, and jumped out of my skin when I saw Sirius standing there.

"Sorry," he whispered. "Um… did I wake you?"

"No, no, I was just lying down…" I said.

"Are you… were you trying to sleep? I'm sorry, I can go if you'd prefer…"

"No, it's alright," I said. "Um… what are you doing?"

"I… I kind of wanted to talk to you," said Sirius.

"Yeah?"

"Er, I sort of… I… Remus, I think you're really cool, you know, and um… you're really nice, and I sort of…" he paused for a second. Was he trying to say he didn't want to be friends with me anymore? That he didn't want to take the risk because of my condition? Did he just not like me in general? My worries stopped short when he continued to speak. "I know you're not a queer, that you're normal, but I sort of wanted to let you know that I… I fancy you."

He sat there in silence, waiting for my response, but I was too stunned to speak, not sure if I'd heard him correctly.

"Oh, sorry, I'm so sorry," he said, then he quickly got up and left.