Notes:

I am so so sorry it took me forever to update. It was the end of the school year and I ended one job and started yet another new one, and then I was also moving and it took forever to get Internet at my new apartment and some stuff was going on in my family… and just everything happened at once, as usual and I didn't get around to writing as much as I wanted to. On the plus side, I did manage to write stuff for later chapters so, go me?

So here's the next chapter, I hope you guys like it.

Chapter 53

That's my bеst friend that's my gang, gang, gang that's my A-1 we got a thing, thing, thing ever since day one we been gang, gang, gang

Dinah

Dinah had had a terrible night.

She couldn't remember the last time she had slept as badly as she had the previous night. But she was sure Sara had been the reason, too. Well, not that Sara had been the reason last night, not exactly or not solely to be exact. She had worried about Oliver. And her mind had taken her down a very dark road, wondering what if something horrible had happened to him? She couldn't even. She didn't even want to imagine losing him yet again. Oliver had always been like a son to her. So losing him at the same time she had lost Sara that very first time had been unbearable. It hadn't compared to the anguish losing her younger child had caused, but the pain she had felt for the loss of one of her daughters' closest friends since early childhood had come close, the closest anything had ever come to the loss of Sara… well, losing her daughters' second childhood friend had been just as horrible as losing Oliver, even though she had lost contact with Tommy over the years, unfortunately. But she knew what he had done for her older daughter and just how much he had meant to Laurel. How close they had gotten.

Dinah sometimes wondered what might have happened between Laurel and Tommy had Oliver not come back, not that she would've wanted that. She was so very glad he had come back home. But Oliver's return had messed with Laurel's emotions, which in turn had affected Tommy and their relationship.

This sometimes made her wonder what would've happened had Sara come home sooner than she had. What if she had come back shortly after Oliver? Would Laurel and Oliver still have gotten to the point where they sort of tried again? Or would Oliver and Sara have gotten together? Would Tommy still have felt insecure in his relationship with Laurel? Would he still have felt Laurel belonged with Oliver? How different might their lives have been? Not that there was any point to those questions or the answers would change anything. Yet, she couldn't help but wonder every once in a while. Especially when things were bad for her girls and Oliver.

But those were not the thoughts that had plagued her the previous night. It hadn't been that road of what if her mind had taken her down. No, her mind had taken her down a far more worrisome road, the road of what if Oliver had been badly hurt... or worse?

But even scarier was the thought that immediately followed after her mind had gone down that dark path; What would it do to Sara if something horrible had happened to Oliver, how would she react? What effect would it have on her?

The thought had terrified her.

She was sure losing Oliver would destroy her daughter. He was her support system, the person she confided in, the person she trusted most. The one person she had leaned on in the last decade, the only person she had leaned on in the last decade. Oliver was the only person her daughter leaned on, who she let in completely. The person she shared her emotions with and who she revealed her honest feelings to.

She had been almost paralyzed with fear at the thought of her daughter losing the small piece of happiness she seemed to have found so very recently. Sara had been happy only hours ago. Happier than she had seen her in years. This fact made everything so much worse. Sara hadn't even gotten the chance to be happy and excited about everything she got for her baby for more than a couple of hours before it was ripped from her so cruelly.

Just thinking about her baby losing the little slice of peace and happiness she had fought so hard for and which had eluded her for so long was breaking her heart.

She hadn't even wanted to spin the thought further… not that her mind had cared… imagining what it would mean for her grandbaby. If something horrible had happened to Oliver, it would mean her granddaughter would never get to meet her father. She would grow up never knowing her dad, the man who had been so excited to meet her, who had adored her before she was even born. The man who had poured his very heart and soul into the little girl's bedroom. If something horrible had happened to Oliver, Sara would go from refusing to be a part of her child's life to being her sole caregiver. A role that might crush her. Not that she believed her daughter would change her mind regarding raising her baby girl. Dinah was almost certain that Sara wouldn't give up her child, not should she already have lost Oliver. She'd keep the part of him that was very much alive in their daughter close. Protect it with everything she had. Guard her little part of Oliver with her life.

Yes, Dinah was sure Sara would never abandon her child should something happen to Oliver. She would focus her entire life on the part of Oliver that was still alive. Mila would receive all the affection and attention Sara could offer, desperately trying to make up for all the love and affection she would miss out on because of her father's absence. Chances were that Sara would be extremely overprotective of Oliver's daughter. And refuse help from everyone. Probably convincing herself that she needed to do it all alone. That she should be able to do it alone.

But this was not the case. Oliver was fine. He'd come home and raise his baby girl with Sara. Mila would experience just how much her father loves her first hand.

Yes, Oliver was going to spoil his little girl with love and affection. There was no doubt about that. It was very obvious for everyone to see. He loved his baby girl more than anything in the world.

Dinah hadn't been able to say how long she had been lying in bed awake until she heard the sound of the front door opening and closing, followed by the muffled sounds of a brief conversation and then nothing. She was just about to fall asleep when she was ripped back into reality by the anguished cry of a name she hadn't heard in a rather long time. The pure agony of that one word falling from Oliver's lips chilled her to the bones and gave her goosebumps.

Jumping out of the bed and checking up on him was a reflexed based on a mother's instinct she couldn't have prevented, even if she had wanted to. She never made it past the threshold of the room the young man shared with her daughter, though. Again, she probably wouldn't have been able to lift her feet across it had she tried, which she never did. Recognizing right away that she was not needed and there was no reason for her to disturb them while violating their privacy.

Her gaze immediately landed on the mirror on Oliver's wardrobe, which reflected a good part of the room, including their bed. A bed in which her baby was comforting her baby's father, who was wrapped around her, holding on to her for dear life, crying desperately. Dinah could feel how her own eyes filled with tears that threatened to overflow rapidly, she bit her lower lip and swallowed hard, her heart constricting in pain, even more so once her eyes had adjusted to the low lighting in their bedroom and she could make out her daughter's devastated face.

She couldn't even imagine how the couple must be feeling right now. How hard it must be for them to not have Tommy with them, to not have their best friend share this new chapter of their lives. Tommy had been like a brother to both of them. He had been like a son to her, just like Oliver. And Dinah missed the young man, too. It wasn't hard for her to imagine how happy and excited Tommy would have been for Sara and Oliver and about their baby girl. Yes, Tommy would have been a great uncle for their daughter.

Tommy's loss left a vast hole in all of their lives and hearts and she knew how hard both of her daughters and both Queen siblings were taking it. She also knew, or suspected she knew, that none of the kids ever took the time to properly grieve the loss of one of their own. Yes, Tommy's sudden death had been a shock to everyone. It had led to everyone being so overwhelmed by it they hadn't known how to handle it or deal with it. God, there had been too much tragedy in their lives in the past few years. Tommy, Moira, Sara again, then Thea who had been attacked and had almost lost her life because of it… then the attack on his ex-fiancée right after they got in engaged… her heart went out to Oliver and she wondered, not for the first time how he was still standing, still carrying on, still trying to see… still trying to see the beauty in everything and make the best of what life has given him. She admired him for his strengths and ability to keep trying and do his best to look at the positives. He didn't deserve all this pain. None of the kids did.

Dinah was just about to turn around and give the grieving pair some privacy when her eyes caught the rest of the room reflected in the mirror and the small, yet significant changes that had been made to it since the last time she had seen it, during her last visit.

The most significant object which almost demanded her attention was the photograph on the dresser. A photograph of both Oliver and Sara in it. They were both dressed casually. Oliver was wearing a pair of jeans, a dark blue Henley shirt and his brown leather jacket, while Sara was wearing black leggings, a light blue chambray shirt which looked suspiciously like one of Oliver's and also a brown suede leather jacket. But what had captured and kept her gaze was her daughter's obvious pregnant state, which meant it was a fairly recently taken picture. Yet, she had no clue where it had been taken. The backdrop did not look familiar to her at all.

The couple were looking at each other. Both of their faces were graced with the biggest smiles. One of Oliver's hands was on Sara's stomach, being covered by one of hers. They looked blissfully happy. It was a breathtakingly beautiful picture of the couple. And whoever had taken it had managed to capture them perfectly. The love that shone in both of their eyes, the way they were looking at each other… their attire was casual, nothing about the picture suggested anything special had been going on and yet… Dinah wasn't sure what it was but she felt like it was significant. Something about it made her feel like there was a story behind it, an important one.

The photograph had captured and kept her attention the longest, but there were different things she had noticed; like Sara's throw pillows and plaited blanket that she had gotten from her grandmother, which were placed on the chest at the foot of the bed now. Or the candles she had on the dresser drawer in her bedroom, which were now on Oliver's dresser drawer. Then there was the jewelry box she had gotten for her sixteenth birthday from her Nana, which was now placed on the same dresser the photograph was on. And of course Sara's stuffed shark she had gotten at the aquarium a good twenty years ago, which was placed on top of the curtain board. There were some of Sara's personal items carefully placed all around Oliver's bedroom.

Or more accurate would probably be Oliver and Sara's bedroom.

There were several of Sara's things from her bedroom in it now. If this wasn't another positive development that had happened in the weeks she had been away, she didn't know what was.

She returned her eyes to the photograph again, committing their happy faces to her memory before turning away and returning to her room, where she tried to fall asleep once again, rather unsuccessfully, the background noise of Oliver's cries and the heartbreaking picture the two of them had presented edged into her memory. Making it hard for her to find rest. It was only after the sound of Oliver's pain had quietened down, and she conjured the photograph of them in her mind's eyes that sleep had finally found her.

Yes, sleep had finally found her in the early hours of the morning. It had still been a short night though, and she had been awake again at her regular time in the morning. Only a few short hours after she had fallen asleep. She had contemplated for a moment whether she should try to fall asleep again, but decided against it. Choosing instead to get up and get ready for the day and after that get started on breakfast, so that it would hopefully be ready by the time Sara and Oliver would get up. Hoping they would be able to sleep longer than she had. This unfortunately ended up not being the case with her daughter. Sara had padded into the kitchen only a few short moments after her. She appeared to be deep in thought and this gave Dinah the chance to muster her and try to get a read on her daughter's state of mind and emotions.

She noticed the dark circles under her eyes and how her skin seemed paler than usual. It wasn't difficult to see the toll the last evening and night had taken on her daughter, understandably so. She watched her a little while longer before deciding to make her aware of her presence.

"Good morning, baby." Sara looked at her, surprised for a moment, before gracing her with a halfhearted smile. She proceeded to ask her how she was and her answer of tired and hungry didn't surprise her at all. Tired for the obvious reason and hungry for the other, slowly but surely, very obvious reason, which was easily detected even under the big, light olive green t-shirt which belonged to Oliver.

Yes, Dinah remembered the almost constant feeling of hunger she used to have towards the end of both of her pregnancies. With the body demanding more food for the steadily growing child inside, yet, said child taking up room which would otherwise have been used to store more food. It meant smaller but more frequent meals.

"Of course, baby. Is Oliver alright? Did he give you an explanation why he hadn't gotten in touch with you?" She contemplated for a moment whether to ask her daughter how Oliver was doing, not sure if Sara would look at it as intrusive but decided to ask anyway given how concerned she had been and still was about him, knowing her daughter would let her know if she felt the question was too personal and none of her business.

"No. He's really not, which is why I'm asking you to go visit Laurel today, like right now, and stay with her for the night at least. Maybe tomorrow night too. Please." Sara's honest answer and following request took her by surprise for a minute and she was ready to fully protest, when Sara continued and explained her decision a little more.

Dinah had to admit that her daughter's reasoning made a lot of sense. Oliver wouldn't feel comfortable being vulnerable with her around. He had let her comfort him a little a handful of times in the last couple of months, but it had not been hard for her to recognize how uncomfortable he had been, letting her see his pain and sorrow. This was why she agreed to spend the next couple of days at Laurel's, hoping her older daughter and Thea wouldn't mind her unexpected intrusion. She went to gather her things, but not before making sure Sara promised her to let her know if she and Oliver needed anything.

She kissed her baby on the cheek and stroked her hair, before leaving her apartment in order to let the couple sort their feelings out and acknowledge their grief. Dinah had to remind herself for a moment that it was a good thing, Sara and Oliver, well at least Sara wanting to make sure they would finally deal with the pain Tommy's loss was causing them. It was another step forward.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" Laurel looked at her in surprise after opening the front door, which she could understand. She usually spent the first few days with Sara and Oliver, before the entire family would come over to their place, most of the time for lunch and she would then spend another couple of days at Laurel's.

"Can't I just show up at my daughter's doorstep to spend some time with her?" Which was why she knew her firstborn wouldn't buy it, but she couldn't help herself and tease her a little once in a while. Laurel was too serious, just like Quentin. Keeping them on their toes and messing with them from time to time was very important.

"Well, yes, but you usually don't do that the first couple of days after you arrive. You spend them with Sara and Oliver, so color me surprised." Laurel seemed a little unsure whether she was serious or not and it was very easy for her to see how she was ready to backpedal in case she had hurt her feelings, given her explanation.

"Well, yes, full disclosure; Sara asked me to stay with you for at least today and tomorrow, maybe even longer." Dinah had no intention to make Laurel feel bad or question herself and her reaction. That had not been her intention. It was supposed to be a joke.

"What, why?" The astounded and worried look on her daughter's face was very understandable and she would love to ease her worry, but she wasn't sure she should. Wasn't sure if downplaying the situation would help anyone.

"May I come in? This is not a conversation to be had on the threshold." Dinah looked at her older daughter expectantly. One thing she was sure of was that this was not the place to be having this conversation. However, she decided for it to go. Laurel stepped aside and let her enter the apartment.

What she hadn't expected was Laurel and Thea having guests. Even less Oliver's ex-fiancée and her mother, Quentin's partner. She hadn't met Donna before. Dinah had heard a lot about her and she sounded like a very kind-hearted woman who was good for Quentin and made him happy, something she was very grateful for, and she would love to get to know her, but not under these circumstances.

She was not up for facing this many people, not after the last twenty-four hours, less even. And she most definitely wasn't up for anyone talking shit about Oliver or Sara, even less, given the fact it sounded like they did not know what they were talking about. Dinah knew that Oliver and Sara were very private people and would probably not appreciate her sharing personal information about them, but she was just done and it was about time people understood what Sara and Oliver were dealing with. Just how much they were struggling and the fallout their selfish behavior had caused.

There was a lot she would have liked to say to Felicity, but this was neither the time nor was it her place. Still, she couldn't understand how someone who claimed they loved Oliver could've treated him the way she had, according to both of her daughters and Thea. Oliver was a good man. He didn't deserve what people were throwing at him and blaming him for. He was doing the best he could. He was trying. Had been for a very long time. Yes, addressing Felicity, a woman she barely knew wasn't her place.

Her firstborn was another story, though.

"Laurel, my beautiful, smart, ambitious baby, you need to put the past aside. What Sara and Oliver did was not okay, and I know they hurt you. But baby, you and I both know that you are no innocent when it comes to this entire mess. You knew how your sister felt towards Oliver and you purposely sabotaged her, an action that hurt her deeply, too." Yes, she was aware of that part of her daughters' past. She had been aware of Sara's crush on Oliver during her freshman year in High School. Just as she had been aware of Laurel's crush on Oliver since probably first grade. It had been a really critical situation, but she had decided to let it play out and see what would happen, hoping it would solve itself. They were both young, and it was difficult for her to say how deep their romantic feelings for their friend went. She knew how important Oliver was to Sara. She had noticed how their dynamic and friendship had changed during that last year they spent in school together. How Oliver became an intricate part of Sara's day.

She had seen how much her baby was struggling in High School; she had also learnt through some of the teachers that they suspected she was getting bullied, yet Sara always denied this when asked. Not that Dinah believed her, but there wasn't much she could do. It was a very delicate subject and matter, and knowing how her daughter worked, handling it wrong and pushing too hard would've just made everything so much worse. Tommy and Oliver seemed to have helped with the issue, whatever it was exactly. Oliver especially. Dinah had been aware that her daughter seemed to have struggled with a lot of things but it had been difficult for her to figure out what exactly, Sara wasn't really an open book and Quentin and Laurel constantly trying to get her to apply herself more wasn't helping at all.

Getting Sara to open up and share her feelings had always been like pulling teeth, and Dinah had developed a strategy over the years. And most of the time it let to results and her younger daughter actually opening up to her and sharing her issues. But the older she got, the more difficult it became for her to get Sara to share. So she had been so very relieved and grateful that one afternoon she had come home from work sooner than expected and found Sara and Oliver in Sara's bedroom, a fact she never shared with Quentin because there were strict rules where the boys were concerned when it came to their girls's bedrooms, and she had heard Sara share some of the struggles she had in school with Oliver, who had just listened to her and then tried to ease her concerns and help her.

Yes, Sara and Oliver's friendship and their dynamic had changed during Sara's freshman year in High School.

So, it had been hard for her to figure out whether her actions and reactions towards Oliver and later in the school year Laurel and Oliver's relationship came from a place of heartbreak or a place of contempt because her best friend no longer had as much time for her as he used to and blaming it on Laurel. Sara could be very possessive of the people and things she cared about.

It had only been after she had learnt that Laurel had been the one who had called the cops on the boys and Sara, she could understand Laurel's reasoning and it sounded really good, the way she was presenting it, but she also knew her older daughter and she therefore knew that there must have been more to it than her simply worrying about her baby sister. It had been far from the first time Sara had been at one of Tommy's parties and Laurel had known that. Just like she had never before called the cops on her sister. So Dinah was pretty certain there was also some pettiness and probably more involved in her reasons.

She was reminded of those events that day she came home from work early and found Sara. Dinah had been surprised to find her still at home, but even more so about her honesty when she told her why she was still home and where she was going. And she knew she should have stopped her. There had been a million reasons why she should have tried harder to stop her, but how could she? How was she supposed to after her baby's heartfelt: "Mom, I'm in love with him and I know, I know it's wrong but I just, I… It's Ollie, mom, and I'm in love him. I'm in love with Ollie and I have to follow my heart, just like you did with dad. Like you always told us to." She would never forget the look on Sara's face when she told her that. As if she had just realized it herself. As if it were the first time she had said it out loud. How was she supposed to stop her after that?

Dinah hadn't been able to do more than a halfhearted attempt, asking her to not do this to her sister and watching her leave after a mumbled "I'm sorry mom, but I have to. I need to know…"

She had wondered for years if this entire mess could've been prevented had she stepped in after realizing that both her girls had romantic feelings for Oliver. Maybe she should have. Maybe she could've stopped it. Or maybe things would've gotten even worse. She did feel responsible for part of it, though. And knew that she and Quentin both played a part in this whole entire mess. Just like Laurel had played her part in it.

"And Oliver,… you were pushing him too hard, baby, expecting too much of him, pushing for commitments he wasn't ready to make yet. We were all telling you this. Warning you. You chose not to listen, to not see the signs pointing out that the two of you might not fit as well as you wanted to and admit that your relationship was less than perfect. We both know that you were aware that he had the tendency to stray. Everyone was aware of that. It was even a topic the Gossip Magazines picked up once in a while." She needed to make sure she got her point across to her daughter. It was important Laurel understood she was not the sole victim here. She was partly responsible, too, for the way everything had played out.

"And you know I love that boy to death, and have considered him as part of our family for years, but he was one hot mess and very troubled as a teen. Something your sister recognized and, more importantly, acknowledged. She didn't try to sweep it under the carpet like everyone else in his life or pretend it wasn't so. Probably because she was one hot mess too. They fit baby, they always have. From that very first moment you brought him home back when you were in first grade…" Dinah stopped for a moment to turn towards her ex-husband who looked about ready to say something, of course Quentin had an opinion on the matter and she was sure he was going to argue her on those facts she had just pointed out but now was not the time. Laurel needed to hear this, and she was not in the right mindset to go a couple of rounds with Quentin on the matter of Oliver and Sara's affair. That would also be a longer discussion and not something the Smoak women needed to be privy to.

"And I'm not trying to make excuses for their actions, Quentin, what they did was wrong and they are both very aware of that, but they were also very young and I'm just trying to point out the fact that while yes, what Sara and Oliver did was wrong, they are not the only ones to blame, and yet, they both have always taken the blame with no hesitation. They never argued their case. Even though it wasn't really their fault, yes, how they proceeded and handled the situation was. But that is the only thing anyone can hold against them while still being fair to them. Can you really blame them for falling in love? It's not like they chose the way they feel about the other. But there is no denying the fact that they do love each other dearly, and have for years. I think it's way pastime to stop making them feel guilty about that fact. We can't choose who we love and it is not fair to punish them for their feelings and give them the impression that what they are feeling is wrong and bad. When in actuality it is something beautiful. Seeing them together, the way they treat each other, the way they support each other, I've never seen anything like it. The deep understanding, respect and utter devotion they show to the other. The way they help each other feel better. It is such a rare, beautiful thing. Their love is raw, and it's real, and it is nothing they should feel bad or guilty about. It is the kind of love everyone dreams about finding. Do you really want your granddaughter growing up believing that you should feel bad about loving someone, just because it might be more complicated than your average rom-com?" Dinah hoped she got her point across and made them see and understand just what their actions had caused and how they had made both Sara and Oliver feel. She agreed to talk to both Laurel and Quentin about everything and excused herself afterwards.

She was exhausted, and she just needed a little time for herself. She decided to go for a walk and maybe have a late breakfast in a coffee shop later. Letting her mind wander and trying to let everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours sink in and process it all.

Notes:

I'm a little worried that I put Dinah in a bad light, which was not what I meant to do but I felt I needed to get a little bit more in depths with the whole triangle thing and I just have this feeling that Dinah would've noticed both of her girls having a crush on Oliver, given the fact that he hung out at their place a lot.

As always I'd love to hear your thoughts and I am so so very sorry it took me forever to update.

I hope things will finally quieten down a little and I'll get more time to write again.

I still have to go back to watching Arrow season 5… I need to know what happens to use some of the events I want to use… but I really don't want to keep on watching that train wreck…

Chapter title is from the song "Gang Gang" by Nova Rockafeller feat. Tom MacDonald.