This chapter is dedicated to Angelo500 I hope you like it and thank you for your support and comments, I really really appreciate the time you take to write them.
I would also like to take the time to thank everyone for their support, I really appreciate it. It means the world to me. Knowing people enjoy what I'm writing means everything. So thank you all so, so much!
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Chapter 57
We′re trying to live good, though our heart bleeds We want peace so we wear our hearts on our sleeve Trying to live right but triggers get the best of me Cuz it′s really hard to forget history
Lyla
Sara had called her a day ago, letting her know she and Oliver were reachable again. Asking her to hang out later that week, once her mother was staying with Laurel as she always did the last couple of nights before heading back to Central City, to talk. Because she had some important things to share with her. Lyla had to admit the blonde's words intrigued her and made her wonder what her friend wanted to entrust her with. There had already been several personal anecdotes and information the former assassin had shared with her during the last few months, to her utter surprise. Sara was just as private and tight-lipped about her past as Oliver, and yet she had chosen to share some of it with her. Lyla still wasn't sure what had made Sara trust her without her having to do anything to earn that trust. Knowing trust wasn't something the young woman gave easily.
Yes, she was intrigued by the rather vague remark. Intrigued, but not worried. Sara had sounded good. More than that. She had sounded happy, relaxed, almost… dare she say it, giddy... even though it was a word she usually wouldn't associate with her calm, collected and serious friend, never mind it being a word she wasn't particularly fond of to begin with. But still, it felt fitting somehow.
Lyla had been amused when she had received a text from Sara, more or less at the same time Johnny had received one from Oliver, almost as if the pair had done it on purpose. It honestly wouldn't surprise her if they had. Possibly debating her husband's likely reactions to their action. Yes, she could easily see them do this purposely for their personal amusement. She wondered if Sara was going to ask her about Johnny's reaction, if she did Lyla knew for sure that the simultaneous texts had been orchestrated.
There had been two major reasons for her amusement, one her husband's slight irritation that Sara was texting her at the same time Oliver was texting him, giving her the same importance Oliver gave her husband, questioning the need for both of them being informed when he could've let her know himself. She took no offence at that. She knew her husband and how he had meant it and that it was nothing personal. Simply a logical assumption and true, there had not really been a reason for both of them to be informed, even less since it was dinnertime and both of their friends knew they always spent it together unless there was an emergency. So one text would've sufficed.
He also didn't understand that had the pair decided only one of them needed to be informed, it probably would've been Sara letting her know about it. Not Oliver contacting Johnny. She loved her husband, but he currently had no clue about the significance of Sara having someone who wasn't her immediate family, or adopted little sister, who she needed to let know about a longer absence to keep them from worrying about her. And just how important this was for Sara. Having someone she had to let know in particular. Someone who wasn't as connected to Oliver as everyone else was, given the fact most of the people within their inner circle were closer associated with Oliver than Sara. Which made sense, given Sara's huge absences over the last few years, for different reasons, none at any fault of her own, but still…
It was important for her to know that there were people she needed to contact herself to let them know, people who would think it strange if Oliver would contact them in Sara's name. It would worry them more than having Sara contact them herself. Which was something Oliver was very aware of. He had the tendency to leave the room, if not the floor or even the apartment, whenever she came over. There had been some exceptions to that rule. Even so, there was always at least an hour that he made sure he was away to give them complete privacy. Those actions more than anything told her about the relationship Sara and Oliver had. Especially given the fact that she'd bet pretty much anything she had that those two had no secrets from the other, and if so, then not to purposely keep something from the other but because it hadn't come up or was too difficult to talk about. And yet, Oliver still made sure to put enough space between himself and the two of them that there was no way for him to overhear their conversations. Just like he always made sure they heard him come back from wherever he had been. And she knew first-hand how stealthily and noiselessly Oliver was able to move in even the most difficult terrain.
His actions had surprised her at the beginning until she had understood what Oliver was doing was completely respecting Sara's privacy and her need to spend time with someone without him in close proximity. He hadn't left the apartment at the beginning, just in case, and even now he still made sure Sara knew exactly where he was whenever he chose to leave their home for the duration of her visit. He would usually take her daughter to the playground close by if he left. To her baby girl's absolute delight.
But Oliver not letting Johnny know about his decision to go off the grid for the next couple of days would've been extremely strange and everyone would've used that action of Oliver's interpreting who knows what into it. Seriously, Team Arrow had the tendency to make a mountain out of a molehill. They needed to learn to stop interpreting too much in people's actions and start minding their own business. And respecting their leader. She really couldn't understand why Oliver had led things go as far as they had gone and come to the point they now were at with his team. She'd be screwed if the people working at ARGUS had as little respect for her and the work she was doing as Felicity, Johnny, Laurel and Thea had for what Oliver was doing on a nightly basis. The familial atmosphere and interactions were a hinderance for their nightly business. They blurred the line between Oliver their friend, and Oliver the Green Arrow. It was a very dangerous, potentially deathly consequence that came from them spending so much time together, even when they weren't on the clock.
At least Johnny should know better than letting the lines get blurred to the point they now were. The fellow soldiers of their platoon had been like brothers, they've become their family during the months they had spent together in a war-zone, they had shared stories about their pasts, hopes and dreams, they had joked around and built each other up. But no matter how familial it had become, there was never any question as to who was in charge and following their lead. The hierarchy was everything and not questioning it was an important aspect of staying alive. Oliver, who had never been a part of the military or any similar institution, seemed to understand this more than her husband, who had done three tours in Afghanistan. She was all for democracies. Part of her job was to insure their very own, but there were fields where democracies had no place. The military was one such place, as was ARGUS and Team Arrow was such a place too, or should be, for everyone's safety. Especially Oliver's.
She's had had several conversations with Johnny about it, well, Johnny had mostly complained about how much Oliver had changed ever since he's come back and how he couldn't understand what had happened and how it seemed that Oliver had suddenly put his morals away again, wondering if Sara played a part in it, given the fact that her morals had always been in shades of grey, even more so than Oliver's. And why he was refusing to even consider the option of getting more help by recruiting some of the new vigilantes, as Felicity had suggested and was urging him to. Figuring, just like the IT genius, that more people meant more help and gave Oliver more freedom and time off.
This would be the ideal, but Lyla doubted it was how it would go, should Oliver, for some insane reason, decide to recruit the people Felicity was suggesting. She seriously doubted it, especially since she knew Sara's opinion on the matter and just how much influence the blonde could take while Oliver was making his mind up one way or another. She had done her own background checks on the people Felicity was suggesting… and had to agree with Oliver. There were chances they'd end up being more trouble than they were worth and would only take up more of his precious time and energy. Yes, she was on the Green Arrow's side on that subject too. More people knowing about their operation also came with more risks for all of them. Most of all, the risk of getting exposed. So far, the only people Oliver had let in, besides Johnny, Felicity and Roy, all of which he had meticulously vetted beforehand, had been Sara, Thea, Laurel and Quentin. All people he had known for most of his life. And already known he could trust. Oliver was very careful when it came to revealing his secret and for good reason. Especially now, when revealing his secret meant revealing Sara's, too. And putting both her and their daughter in potential danger.
She regularly tried to make him understand that what had changed was the fact that Oliver was going to be a father. That he was probably having similar thoughts that Johnny himself had had when she was pregnant with Sara and right after their daughter was born. That their friend was probably trying to find a balance, figure out how he was supposed to do what he was doing as the Green Arrow while simultaneously raise a baby on his own. Because this was currently still the situation he was in, as far as they knew officially. Sara was still planning on leaving, which would leave Oliver as a single parent. Knowing that he was facing death every night and the possibility of that being the reason his child could grow up without a parent was probably paralyzing and the reason Oliver was rethinking a lot of the choices he had made concerning the Green Arrow the last couple of years. And considering options that would be less risky for him to still help the people of their home with a bigger chance of his daughter not growing up without her father. Yes, Oliver's modus operandi used to be less risky. She had been impressed by his tactical mind, meticulous planning and almost flawless execution during his first year back home. Yes, the Hood might have been more ruthless than the Green Arrow had been, but he had also been a lot more effective. It hadn't been hard for her to see why Amanda Waller had recruited him.
"There are people in this world who only work in extremes and it would be naïve to think anything less than extreme measures would stop them."
It had been a rule Amanda Waller had lived by, under which she had ruled ARGUS. There were a lot of things she hadn't agreed with her old boss with, but this wasn't one of those. And she knew Oliver understood how true that statement was. It had been the reason he had operated the way he had as the Hood. And he had been making a difference back then. The people in control of their city had been terrified of him.
Yes, his actions, however questionable they might have been at times, had brought positive results. Even law enforcement had ended up having to admit that. He had helped them get some of the control they had lost over the years back, even in the Glades.
And then Johnny and especially Felicity had gotten into his mind with their idealistic, black and white world view. Oliver was a soldier, fighting a war. He couldn't afford any mistake. Couldn't afford unnecessary risks, especially not now and not in the future. Not when it wasn't only his life that would be drastically affected by him getting severely injured or worst-case scenario killed. Oliver's death would leave his daughter orphaned. He couldn't afford to play by Felicity and Johnny's rules anymore. Couldn't afford their disobedience anymore. She just wasn't sure how aware of this Oliver was right now. He had concluded some of it. She was sure of that. His methods had changed during the last three months and he wasn't budging on the recruiting matter or giving anyone an inch anymore when it came to his plans and choices. So she hoped he was finally seeing what had been so very wrong with his team for the last few years.
Oliver was a soldier.
He was the one who had started this. The one who had waged war against the worst of society. The others had slowly joined one by one. This made Oliver their General, and where your General led, you had to follow. That was army 101. Break ranks, and you get in trouble. Have more than one person break ranks, and it's a mutiny. Something told Lyla that Team Arrow was pretty close to starting a mutiny. She wasn't sure whether she hoped for Oliver that she was right and there was going to be one, or that she was wrong and they'd just fall in line again. She hadn't yet made up her mind what would be better for him and help him more. Having his team fall back in line or abandon him. Right now she slightly tended more towards the latter, if she had to be honest. And she had the feeling Sara was agreeing with her. She seemed to be at the end of her rope, where her partner's team was concerned.
Johnny was the most moral man she knew. It was one of his best and worst qualities. She both admired him for it and was regularly infuriated because of it. He's world view was in black and white, even after all of his years being regularly faced with all the shades of grey around them. Yes, she admired and sometimes envied him for it. Life was so much simpler if all you could see was good and bad. So easy to categorize people and events. But at the same time, so very flawed. It wasn't real, and it led to many a problem and issues he was faced with he didn't know how to handle. So, he tried to make them simpler than they were to fit his moral code and simple world view.
One of those things was, and had been for quiet sometime, Oliver and Sara's relationship and everything that came with it. The love triangle with Laurel, and now the issues with Felicity. He liked to break it down to the simplest form.
Oliver had been in a serious relationship with Laurel. Oliver and Sara were in the wrong. Which, rationally looked at as an outsider, was correct. Yet, everything she had learnt over the last couple of months especially made it impossible for her to see it that way, and she was sure Johnny too, he just wasn't ready to admit it yet. It was so much more complicated than that. There was a connection between Oliver and Sara that was lacking between Oliver and Laurel. And until recently, she hadn't been sure whether it came from their shared trauma, but now she was sure it had already been there even before the Gambit and everything that had led to that tragedy.
Oliver and Sara had always fascinated her, from the very first moment Johnny had mentioned her all those years ago. Their dynamic was just so unique. She'd never forget Sara showing up during the siege; the couple had only broken up a short while ago; she brought her (ex)girlfriend with her. Yet, there was no animosity or negativity between Oliver and her. Nothing but affection and respect on both sides. It was amazing and nothing she had ever seen before. They had one hell of a history and yet there was no resentment, no blaming, no anger,... only compassion, respect, admiration, affection and love between them. No matter the situation they were in.
Yes, they had argued, but it had been an argument about tactics, about how to proceed and about Sara sacrificing her life for his, nothing else. And Sara had conceded in the end, recognizing Oliver's position and therefore the fact that he was the one calling the shots. Even Nyssa, the daughter of Ra's al Ghul herself, had ceased to the Arrow's authority in his city. Team Arrow could learn a lot from the daughter of the Demon in that regard.
Not that they didn't have any arguments now, which did not involve strategy and battle tactics. She had been witness to several smaller ones and maybe one or two bigger ones over the course of the last few months. And damn… she really didn't want to know what a really nasty argument between those two looked like. They hadn't been pulling any punches with the smaller ones. She could only imagine the knock-out drag out an actual terrible argument would lead to. But they always made up. Talked about it and let the matter go afterwards. They were very solution oriented, something that wasn't easy in situations where feelings and emotions were concerned. Again showing how much respect and regard they had for the other and their opinions and choices.
Sara had been genuinely happy for Oliver when he got engaged. She could easily tell that now when they had talked about it. And Oliver had been supportive and understanding when Sara chose to rejoin the League and possibly Nyssa. Even though he hadn't wanted her to. Hadn't agreed with her choice. He had still had her back and let her go without a fight, respecting her decision.
Yes, theirs was the type of friendship and love everyone should aspire towards. Very healthy, even though neither of them was in a healthy emotional and mental place. And still they showed each other nothing but support, trying to help the other get better. She had wondered on more than one occasion where they were getting the strength and energy from to do that while battling their own issues and demons.
She came to the conclusion Sara was Oliver's source of strength and Oliver was Sara's source of strengths.
It was fascinating, really.
Lyla enjoyed spending time with Sara a lot. Being able to talk to someone about everything that was going on in her life, private and work, talking about the pregnancy, her daughter who was usually playing close by, sitting with them or off somewhere with her "Uncle Ollie" a term Sara had coined, Oliver hadn't objected to and her little girl had picked up in her vocabulary right away and ran with.
They also talked about the League and ARGUS. Lyla had found out early on in their friendship that Sara had an unbelievable tactical knowledge and a brilliant mind behind it. Once she had learnt more about Sara and the way her brain worked, it hadn't been difficult to see her influence on Oliver and his choices, especially when it came to tactics he used in the field. But just like she could see Sara's influence on Oliver, she could easily see his influence on her. They balanced each other out. Yin and Yang.
She also found out that they had very differing views on most of the issues concerning the Green Arrow, Star City, ARGUS, the League and how to handle those problems. That had astounded her. She had never gotten the impression that their views were so very different. They were always a united front towards the team when dealing with an issue. There were no fights. Neither insisted their view was more relevant than the others. They even conceded their point and changed their view according to the situation. At least in front of the team. It was obvious to her now that Sara was questioning Oliver's methods and choices on the regular. She was challenging him and pushing him to rethink some of his approaches. She was bringing him new perspectives to look at something, making him think outside the box even more than he already was. Sara was pushing Oliver to be more, to keep moving, to keep on questioning his choices and whether or not they were bringing the desired effect. Sara was doing what she could to keep him alive, in her own way, the only way she currently could.
Her husband's morality was also the reason why he didn't know how to handle the current situation between Oliver and Felicity. His loyalty had been split ever since Felicity decide to call it quits with Oliver. His overprotectiveness of the young woman was the reason he mostly took her side, even when she was in the wrong. And everything about their breakup had been wrong, if someone asked her. There had been no reason for Felicity to do what she did. She had known who Oliver was even before she chose to start a relationship with him. Oliver keeping things from them or even going as far as lying to them had been an issue from the very first moment, at least according to Johnny and Felicity. So Lyla really couldn't understand why it had suddenly become an issue that led to her walking out on him. During a time in his life when he would've needed the support of his partner, not even more pain.
Could Oliver have handled the situation differently or better? Maybe… she wasn't sure how, but to be fair, yes, there probably would've been a way for him to handle the aftermath better. But he had been in a very raw emotional state and had to make what was probably the hardest decision of his life. So not being able to take Felicity's feelings into consideration was understandable, too. Felicity's refusal to let him explain and her cruel behavior towards him afterwards was something she would never understand or stand for. Oliver had already been in agony. There had been no reason for Felicity to pour more and more salt into the gaping wounds he already had.
All Lyla could see, given the younger woman's behavior then and even now to some degree, was her immaturity and insecurity. There was no reason for Felicity to be insecure. She was a brilliant young woman with so much potential, and there was so much she had to offer. She could understand how the current situation might hurt her, but actions had consequences and some of those hurt, a lot. And this time around, neither Oliver nor Johnny could protect her from those. She needed to face those and deal with them like an adult. There was no one who could do this for her. And Oliver would not go back to Felicity even if her suspicions, given the phone conversation she's had with her friend, were wrong and Sara was going to leave after her daughter was born, if there was one thing Lyla was sure of, it was the fact that Oliver and Felicity were done for good.
She knew Johnny put some of the blame for that reality on Sara. And she guessed in a way Sara was responsible for Oliver reaching the point he was at, the point of no return when it came to his tumultuous relationship with his IT girl. But not by purposely getting in their way. Simply by being herself and showing Oliver what he had been missing in his relationship with his ex-fiancée. If anyone was to blame for the situation those three were currently in, it was no other than Felicity. Had she not acted like a child throwing a tantrum, Oliver wouldn't have turned to his closest friend for comfort and they wouldn't be here now. Because Oliver and Felicity would have been married by now. But Johnny wasn't ready to admit it yet. Wasn't ready to face the reality of Felicity having made her own bed. She hoped he would come to realize this before his friendship with Oliver suffered too much and there might be irreparable damage to it.
She really hoped he would take the time to understand what was really going on and why Sara played such a significant role in Oliver's life. And that she hadn't done anything wrong. Yes, Sara was slowly taking back her life and her self-worth, slowly starting to believe it when people told her they cared about her and wanted to spend time with her. That she was worth their time and care. Sara letting her know about their absence was another step towards her accepting her friendship and the knowledge that she cared about her and would worry about her if Sara would go several days without replying to her texts. It was huge.
She knew her husband didn't look at it like that, couldn't because he lacked the information to understand the significance of Sara's text message to her but that was alright and understandable, she never shared personal information or observations about the blonde or Oliver with anyone and that included Johnny. She wasn't going to betray the trust Sara had so freely and unexpectedly given her. Nor the things she learnt about Oliver through her friendship with his roommate or her simply spending a lot of time at his home and therefore around him. More importantly, in an environment he felt comfortable, safe and relaxed in. This led to her meeting many different sides of Oliver, sides she hadn't known existed, sometimes wondering if Sara was the only one able to bring them to light, but she was glad she knew about their existence now.
For one, Oliver had a great sense of humor and could be downright hilarious. She hadn't believed Sara the first couple of times she had brought that up, doubled down, and kept on insisting Oliver was hilarious. It hadn't been until several weeks later that her friend's statement had been proven true. Lyla had also become very familiar with both Oliver and Sara's very dry and sometimes even pitch black sense of humor.
She really enjoyed spending time with Oliver's Pretty Bird. Learning the story behind that endearment had been a wonderful afternoon; both blondes had been relaxed, and they had joked around with each other while relaying the story to her. She had felt almost honored to be someone they chose to share parts of their past with, on their own accord, simply because they felt like it and wanted her to know. She had, of course, known that they've grown up together. ARGUS had extensive files on both of them. Courtesy of Amanda Waller. She herself had seen and studied those files before, ever really knowing either of them. But it had meant she knew more about the pair and what they had been through than most, if not everyone on their team. Yes, Felicity was a very good hacker, but ARGUS took security extremely serious, they were working in a dark grey area within the American government, they couldn't afford anything they did, any of their missions, or the names of their agents or victims they were trying to protect being leaked to the public.
They had different servers, with different information on, and different security measures to access them. The highly sensitive data wasn't on a server easily accessible, most of all because only a handful of people knew it even existed and it wasn't connected to the internet or their regular system. Anyone hacking their servers, looking for information on something within their files, wouldn't find anything on those matters, because they officially didn't exist in any of their systems, beside those very special servers, almost no one knew about because you can't hack something you didn't know existed. And yes, there were files on both Oliver and Sara on their regular servers, but they didn't even come close to holding all the information ARGUS actually had on them. Just like there was no mention of Oliver ever working for ARGUS on it. That was only in the high security file on the special server. This was done with the majority of the files they had on people or events, the ones that hackers could possibly get to, were only "basic" information on the matter, nothing deemed too sensitive, it still was sensitive and would lead to her and the government having to do a lot of explaining and damage control if the public came to know about them, but nothing that couldn't be explained away or looked at as inexcusable. All of those information, the information that didn't officially exist, was only on their special server. So whatever information Felicity had found on them while hacking the ARGUS server was only the basics, they'd probably even share themselves if someone chose to ask them about it.
Knowing Oliver and Sara had known each other since childhood was one thing, and helped understand their dynamic, but knowing about it through files and actually listening to them talking about it were two entirely different things.
And having heard them talk about their past, especially before the Gambit, led to her belief they had chosen to send those two messages at the exact same time. She had learnt that both of them had been jokesters that had loved to mess with people, sometimes even prank them from the stories she had heard and the observations she had made. So it was fitting and why it wouldn't surprise her at all. If they had simply done it, to mess with Johnny.
And the other reason for her amusement had been the very different undertones in the text messages. Oliver's had been short, to the point, and yet very vague and impersonal. It had been hard to figure out what was going on. There was no way of telling what was going on reading it. It was very clinical. It reminded her of business communication, the way she talked to her agents about missions.
Sara's, on the other hand, had been short and to the point too, but more familial. The words and emojis she'd chosen had made sure Lyla knew there was nothing she needed to worry about and that Oliver and she were fine. She had actually followed the text with a selfie with Oliver, both of them laughing at the camera. It was a picture she hadn't shared with anyone. Not even her husband. If Oliver or Sara had wanted him to know about it, they would've sent it to him too. Which they hadn't.
She did have several ideas as to what Sara might want to talk to her about… not that she wanted to draw any hasty conclusions, but… Sara had sounded genuinely happy. Just like the couple had looked ecstatic in the picture her friend had sent her. Not to forget Sara's mimic on it. She appeared almost carefree. She had looked mischievous, and Oliver had looked amused at whatever she had done or said. Actually, Lyla was pretty sure she had never seen Oliver look as joyful as he had in that moment at what she suspected was Patty Shack's, given the fries in Sara's hand and her preference of Patty Shack over Big Belly Burger. Knowing Oliver would concede to Sara's wishes and take her to whatever place she preferred over what he would rather have. Yes, she had witnessed him driving all the way across town, simply because the pregnant woman was having a specific craving and it was the only place to get whatever she was asking him to pick up. The couple's antics and behavior amused her to no end at times. They were just so adorable and hilarious.
Yes, Lyla was sure couple was finally the right word to describe those two... if not even Mr. and Mrs. Queen... just a hunch… she could be wrong. She could be very wrong… but something told her she was probably right. She had spent a lot of time around those two in the last couple of months. Sara and her had had many a conversation about Oliver and what he meant to Sara. They had even talked about marriage, not in direct context with Oliver, more while talking about Johnny and her and their history and her choice to marry him for a second time. Her friend's questions and some things she had said led her to the conclusion of the Green Arrow and his Canary possibly having tied the knot. They were both very impulsive people, after all, as she had found out while spending so much time with them. Something that had surprised her a lot. They seemed anything but impulsive most of the time.
Plus, she knew Oliver's stance on marriage, one; because of his upbringing. The circles and social class he grew up in were still very old-fashioned and traditional and tended to frown upon common law marriages. And those views tended to be deeply ingrained in their kids. Two; him having proposed to Felicity about a year ago, which meant it was something he had seriously considered, something he wanted to do. And three; Sara was pregnant with his child and Oliver was very dutiful, but especially given how much family meant to him. There was nothing more important to him than his family, immediate and extended, like the Lances were. And marriage was nothing else but the first step towards building your own family, usually.
But again, she could be wrong.
She doubted it, but she could be wrong.
So she was very surprised a couple of minutes ago, when Johnny had walked in, letting her know Felicity had just texted him that Oliver would not come in tonight, and possibly neither the night after. It made very little sense to her. Sara and Oliver had just taken several days for themselves, well deserved, in her opinion. They had chosen to re-socialize yesterday, and Sara's mom was in town if she wasn't wrong. Maybe Oliver was staying in because of Dinah being here? But that made little sense. He usually spent dinner with both Sara and Dinah, but he also had dinner with Sara if there wasn't an emergency before going in as the Green Arrow. So why would Oliver take a step back the night after he had returned to the streets? Something must have happened. Must have triggered him.
She pulled out her phone and texted Sara, telling her to let her know if they needed anything or there was something she could do to help. She hoped they were alright. They had looked so happy in that picture Sara had sent her. It was about time life gave them a break and let them be happy for a while, and preferably for longer than four days.
Notes:
Ahm... yeah, Lyla got away from me big time... so sorry for any possible confusion.
Okay so, Sara loves Sin, she trusts Sin but she sees her as a little sister, the same way she sees Thea so there are things she won't share with her, won't burden her with...
But Lyla, Lyla is her f***ing girl friend. She's the person she talks to. And yes, Sara jokes around with her and sends her texts and pics that imply what she and Oliver had been up to. Because she sort of needs to share it with someone but at the same time wants to keep it between Ollie and her and she trusts Lyla will respect their privacy and won't share it with anyone if she figures it out.
Sara just got married to the guy she's been in love with since before she even really understood what love was... she's a tough cookie but she's also a woman and this is the sort of news you just feel like sharing even when you want to keep it private.
Look ARGUS is the kind of organization the government can't afford to become public knowledge. There is no way in hell they're not taking special precautions to keep it and some of their work secret. This is how I think they've done it. Look Felicity is good as a hacker, but you can't hack something that officially doesn't exist. And they have the files on people, so everyone hacking them would assume they found what they've been looking for, never expecting there to be separate files with additional information on the subjects on them. Don't come for me. It's just how I think a secret government organization would work... maybe... I have no experience with those but I'm pretty sure they would do everything they could to make sure they can't just get hacked, no matter how good the person hacking them is.
Also, Lyla loves Dig, sorry if this makes you wonder about that. She does, she just has a very realistic perception of who her husband is.
The chapter title is from the song "Triggers" by Soldier Hard. He has very amazing songs, mostly focusing on the life of soldiers after they've come home, because that is what he knows and lives.