Notes:

Okay, so I really, really hope you like this chapter. I'm seriously worried about whether I did her justice and got her right or not. Please let me know what you think.

This is my temporary home, it's not where I belong I'm not afraid because I know This is just a stop on the way to where I'm going

Sin

She watched Sara out of the corner of her eye. It was obvious how worried she was about Oliver. Not that she was saying anything, it was just her behavior. Small things that gave her away. Sara was absentminded and distracted most of the time, something both Roy and she had noticed early on, neither of them had said anything though, they've come to a quiet agreement to not mention her behavior and try to distract her from Oliver's absence as well as they could. The blonde had been pretty worried about her baby daddy the last time he had left town for a while, to fight freaking aliens, but she was even more worried now. Understandably so, Sin had heard enough about Ra's al Ghul and Nyssa to know that Talia was probably just as dangerous, and Oliver was putting himself in a potentially lethal situation and he was going with no backup, something he had had while fighting the aliens. She wasn't entirely sure why he had chosen to go by himself and not taken at least Dig with him, but given it was Oliver, she was sure there was a very good reason. He wouldn't have made a decision like that lightly, and Sara would've said something if she thought it would've been better for him to take backup with him, which made her wonder what was going on there. And why he had chosen to go on a dangerous mission without taking any member of his team with him. Interesting. Something was seriously up there, was there trouble inside Team Arrow? She looked at the woman sitting in Oliver's armchair again. Contemplating what might have led to the couple mistrusting his team, because that's what it came down to, that was the only reason the Green Arrow wouldn't involve his team into this mission, at least in her book and knowing the two vigilantes the way she did. The only reason they would choose to go solo was if they didn't trust the people responsible for having their backs.

Sara wasn't easy to read. Analyzing the Canary was something Sin still had trouble with on the regular, even though she had gotten better at it. But the blonde was a pretty open book when it came to Oliver and her emotions towards him, especially just how much he means to her. It had been plain to see from that very first time Sara had mentioned Oliver more than three years ago.

"I just ran into an old boyfriend..." it had taken a lot more information on those two and their involvements for her to realize the significance of her choice in words. She hadn't given it much thought past the revelation that Sara was from Starling and had an old boyfriend and family here. That had been more intriguing than her mentioning a guy she used to date. People had exes that was no big deal, at least that was what she had thought back then. Even though Sin had noticed her body language, how she had sunk down to the floor, the look in her eyes and the way her voice had sounded when she had said that. Obviously, the guy had left a lasting impression on her friend.

"An old boyfriend" it would be easy to brush it off as Sara trying to avoid getting into an actual conversation about him and needing to do a lot of explaining except, she could've just said "an old friend". It would've made sense and also not been a lie. They had been the closest of friends from early childhood on, as she had also learnt later on, mostly through Thea and a bit through Sara, even though she had talked little about her past in general and her past with Oliver in particular. Telling her she had run into an old friend, would've also ensured that she wouldn't be asking any follow-up questions, people hardly ever asked anyone intruding or indelicate questions about old friends, the chances of her asking follow-up questions to the boyfriend part would've been a lot more likely, and had probably happened, had she been anyone else. She hadn't known Sara that well yet at that moment in time, but she had already known that she was a very private person and didn't appreciate people digging into her private life. Not that she would've had, even if she hadn't been aware of that already.

The revelation that said old boyfriend was actually freaking Oliver Queen, and the perceived relationship had actually been an affair behind her sister's, his girlfriend's back had been a shocker. She had not expected any of this at all. It was right up there with the later revelation that said old "boyfriend" was also the Arrow. Oliver Queen as the Arrow had been rather surprising and yet at the same time it made perfect sense in a way. She wasn't sure why, it just did, at least after she had thought about it at length. Especially with the knowledge of Sara being the Canary and some of their shared past after the shipwreck. But Sara had chosen the word boyfriend instead of friend. This implied the seriousness of their involvement, that it had meant more to both of them, or at least to her, than most people had assumed. It pretty much spelled out that it hadn't just been a fling, or about the thrill of a secret affair, it hadn't just been physical. It had been more, a lot more. What they had shared was deep and real enough for her to call him an old boyfriend. Even while he had officially been her sister's at that point in time.

Sin thought about the phrasing of her friend's words again. "An old boyfriend" not "an ex-boyfriend" but an old boyfriend. It was interesting, ex meant done, over, of the past, never gonna happen again. Old meant their relationship came to an end because of circumstances beyond their control, but someone she still cherishes deeply and might give another try, if the circumstances that broke them apart had changed. Knowing what she did now, the description couldn't have been more fitting. The circumstances had always seemed to be against them. Hopefully, that part of their life was finally over now and they could be together now, raise their kid together, without any outside interference. They deserved nothing less. After everything they had been through, they've earned it.

Sara's choice of words had said everything. Sara had very obviously still been hung up on him. Even years later. Honestly, she didn't get it back then. She just couldn't picture Sara and Oliver as a couple. The Arrow and the Canary? Sure, but not the two people under the mask or hood. It was something she had struggled with until only a couple of months ago. The older Queen sibling was always so stiff, composed and sort of standoffish. Sure, he was nice to look at and always very polite and kind, but she just had some serious issues picturing casual, private, spontaneous and free-spirited Sara with Mr. Billionaire business guy, who was always so serious, constantly in the press, mostly for scandals, and always wearing a suit and was a bit emotionally unstable. He fucking shot Roy for no real reason. That didn't really scream 'stable guy'. Plus, he was also a bit of a douche, really. She genuinely hadn't been able to see it back then. To be fair, she hadn't really known Oliver and only met him a handful of times. She had also never really been around Sara and Oliver as a couple. So, she hadn't known how they were with each other and how they interacted.

She had also been wrong when it had come to her first impression of Thea. All she had seen was the obvious; rich, spoilt princess from one of the most influential families in the city, possibly even the country. It was easy to just assume you know who someone is by their appearance and reputation. Thea's involvement with Roy had intrigued her, and she had wondered how exactly they ended up as an item, but she wasn't someone who pried into other people's lives. It was why she hadn't asked Sara any questions about her past, why she hadn't asked Thea about some of the stuff she had read in the news about her and her family, it hadn't been her place and she had assumed they'd share if they wanted her to know and if they didn't, that was fine too.

Sin understood what it was like to have secrets, to mistrust most people. She knew how it felt when people just dug into your life and past, with no thought or consideration of any potential harm or trauma they could bring forth again. It was why she usually just told them that her parents hadn't cared about her, were probably glad she was gone. It was easier, less painful than the truth. She still didn't understand how a lot of people simply assumed that she had chosen to live on the streets, that it had been her decision. It hadn't been. But the streets had been better than the alternative.

She had been twelve years old when her dad had disappeared. He had gone on one of his flights and just never returned. No one knew what had happened to him. It was a mystery to this day. His plane had never been found either. They assumed there had been an accident, and the plane had crashed into the ocean. Lost forever.

Her grandma had died just a few months after that. She had been the one taking care of her while her dad had been out of the country for work. After her grandma had died, she had become a ward of the state and been handed over to social services, and things had only gotten worse after that. The people she had been placed with had not been good people, not the first ones and not the ones after. The ones only doing it for the money had been the best ones, but they hadn't liked her attitude. They had been bothered by her grief, so she had been placed in another home. The ones after had been worse, so much worse. She had run away several times, but they had always found her and placed her back into that godforsaken house, not listening to her, not believing her.

She had run away for good at fifteen, changed her name, left Cindy behind buried with her grandma, lost at sea with her dad and become known as Sin on the streets. Hiding as well as she could to make sure she wouldn't be found and taken to yet another hellish home, the Glades had by that time already gotten so bad that no one in their right mind would venture too far in looking for a runaway ward of the state, a girl social services was responsible for, a troublemaker, they had enough other children to focus on and she simply became another statistic. Another lost child, another innocent who was simply forgotten, as if she had never even existed. She had only been a kid, but it hadn't been difficult to see just how overwhelmed her social worker had been by the amount of cases she had had. Not that it made what happened to her any better, but it had just showed her that the system didn't work. That the state didn't care about children like her. The state just wanted to hand them over to the next best thing, so that they were no longer responsible, that they stopped being its problem.

So, she took off and disappeared, making sure the state was no longer bothered by her. And she had been mostly fine. She had found people in similar situations as her, willing to help her, to take care of her. Teach her the ways of the street. And then the Glades had exploded, and everything had gotten so much worse until she had met Sara. And for the first time since her grandma's death, she had had someone to count on, someone who truly cared about her, someone who worried about her and looked out for her. Someone to be close to, to open up to, to let in. Something the older woman had slowly returned. First, just about how she was being hunted, that people were after her. And then about being from Starling and her family and old boyfriend still living here. Sara had slowly let her in, revealed more and more about herself. It had also been Sara who had been responsible for her meeting Abercrombie and through him her highness, Thea Queen.

The only thing that kept her from feeling guilty about her misconception of her was the knowledge that Thea had done the exact same thing with her, assumed she knew who she was simply by looking at her. Sin was very grateful that they both had looked past the first glance and get to know each other, mostly thanks to Abercrombie. Thea had become one of her closest friends, someone she trusted and cherished dearly.

They've had their issues, obviously, and they've had some serious arguments, but they listened to each other and tried to see the other's side. One of the biggest ones they've had had been after Thea had learnt about her role in Sara's death and come to her to tell her and talk to her about it. Probably hoping she would blame her, and they'd end up having a fight. And she had blamed Thea, to some degree. Not for murdering Sara. That hadn't been her fault and Sara would've never blamed her for it and wouldn't have wanted Sin to blame her. She had known that back then, and it had now been confirmed by Sara herself.

But she had blamed Thea for trusting the man responsible for bringing so much pain and destruction to the Glades, her home. She blamed Thea for trusting the man who had been responsible for her mother nearly getting the death penalty. She blamed her for trusting the man who was responsible for the death of Thea's other brother. She blamed Thea for not hearing Oliver or Sara out, for not trying to understand why Oliver hadn't told her the truth about Malcolm and Slade Wilson.

Most of those things she had learnt from Thea herself and she hadn't hesitated to point them out to her and just how fucked up and stupid her choice had been. But she also made sure Thea knew Sara would've never blame her for what had happened. It wasn't Sara's style. She would've seen Thea as the victim, just like Oliver and everyone else did. Something Thea seriously struggled with. She had wanted to be blamed, to be punished, not yet realizing what everyone else had already figured out. Thea was already being punished, more than any outside source ever would be able to. It was why her brother had tried to keep the truth from her. The knowledge that her choice had led to the death of someone she had loved and cherished so dearly, someone she had looked up to for most of her life and considered part of her family, was tearing her apart. The knowledge that she was responsible for the death of the woman her brother had loved deeply and unconditionally, a loss that was causing him unimaginable anguish, was something she would have to live with for the rest of her life. No, there was no punishment worse than the one she was already facing through no one's execution but her own mind.

Sin couldn't even imagine the complete and utter despair and agony this knowledge must be causing Thea. Just how tormented she was because of the truth of her actions. Yes, no one was blaming Thea, no one was punishing Thea for her actions, because everyone who knew Thea, knew how deeply she had cared for Sara, how much the older woman had meant to her and how knowing she was dead because of her was a sentence akin to hell itself. There was no point in punishing her, because she was already suffering unimaginable trauma, agony and misery, with no help from any outside source.

No, Thea wasn't responsible for Sara's death and yet, had it not been for her immature, childish and petulant behavior and the utterly stupid and thoughtless decision to trust a psychopath and mass murderer, Sara might not have ended up dead. But there had been no point in a what if scenario. Thea had made the choices she had, and now she had to learn to live with the consequences. They had gotten better, though. Sara was alive again and slowly adjusting to everything and the new circumstances; bloodlust and pregnancy. The last of those leading to her and Oliver living together and sort of, kinda, maybe giving it another shot. At the beginning, she still hadn't really gotten the two of them together. She sort of got the "we're having a kid together so…" Not that they had been back together then, she was pretty sure they were now. At least that was the impression she had gotten the last time she had dropped in on them a few days ago, right after Sara had let her know she could be reached again and before they had headed off to the airport to pick up her mom.

All of that had changed in the last few months and the two of them actually made perfect sense to her now and she couldn't understand how anyone who was around them couldn't see it too. It was just so obvious. And not just how much they loved each other, but also how well they fit, how they complemented, understood and supported each other. The most fascinating thing for her had been when she had showed up unexpectedly one evening, letting herself in with the key Sara had given her and seen them hang out on the couch together watching TV, both of them wearing sweats. Both of their guards had been completely down, and they had been joking around and making fun of whatever they were watching. Laughing, they had looked almost carefree, unburdened. That had been eye-opening for her. She had never seen Sara this relaxed and at ease before, and she hadn't thought Oliver was actually capable of laughing. That sounded mean, but honestly, he was always so damn serious!

This had been the moment she had begun to see the two of them in a different light once she actually understood why Oliver was so important to Sara and why Sara was so important to Oliver. She might not really have known the guy before the couple moved in together, but it hadn't been difficult to see what Sara meant to him from the start. He had done so much to try and help her come home. And it had been obvious just how devastated he had been at Sara's death.

Oliver had come very close to losing his composer when he had told her what had happened to Sara. He had apologized profusely, and Sin hadn't understood why. It hadn't been his fault. It wasn't his job to keep Sara safe. Sara didn't need anyone to keep her safe. She was quite capable of doing that herself. Except for that night. She had wanted to tell Oliver that it wasn't his fault. What happened to Sara wasn't his fault. She had chosen to leave, to go back to the League, to forego his help and protection, that Sara would never blame him. That she loved him too much to do that. But she hadn't said any of that. She hadn't said anything at all. Her mind had been incapable of wrapping around the words he had spoken and the meaning behind them. But what she had been able to process was everything about the man who had just brought her the worst news she had received in years.

The anguished look in his eyes, the hoarse sound of his voice, how it almost broke at times, the way the usually smooth-talking man stumbled over the words, how he stopped every so often and swallowed hard. The sheen of tears that shimmered in his sky-blue eyes and how he desperately tried to blink them away, unsuccessfully. Yes, there had been no question just how important Sara was to Oliver. How much he loved her. And what her death had done to him. How it had utterly and completely destroyed him. She might not have understood them as a couple, but that hadn't kept her from seeing just how much they loved each other. This was why she understood Sara's current anxious state. The man she had loved for half of her life, a man she had lost so many times already, was putting himself in a situation that might lead to her losing him yet again. This situation must be so very difficult for her, since she couldn't do anything to help him, given her pregnancy. She couldn't go with him, have his back or save his ass, as she was known to do.

Roy made some stupid comment, and she glanced at him, rolling her eyes before looking back towards the blonde, who was fiddling with the ring on her finger thing she had noticed in Sara's behavior was the way the mother-to-be would regularly put her hand on her stomach and stroke it, almost soothingly. Sin wasn't sure whether she was trying to calm herself or her unborn daughter, probably both. Just like she would twist one of her many rings from time to time, mostly while looking at the photo of her and Oliver standing on the bookshelf. She had noticed the newest addition to the multitude of rings her sister was wearing right away, one, because of the attention it was getting from Sara, even if it was subconscious, two, because of the placement and three because it didn't really fit in with the other plain silver rings, no not fitting in wasn't the right word, it did, it was just more extravagant than the other rings on her hands. Not that she had said anything about it to Sara, or was planning to. It was none of her business and she was sure Sara would tell her when she was ready, if there was something to tell her. And if there was, she had to admit Oliver had good taste in jewelry. The ring was beautiful and not gaudy at all.

The ring looked old. There was a light green stone or diamond or whatever shaped like a heart in the middle, and on each side of the heart was one smaller white diamond. The surface of the stones was rough or raw. It was really pretty and it fit Sara. It wasn't flashy or like something you'd get at a jewelry store. The ring didn't look like something women from the upper echelon would be wearing. It looked more like something that you'd find at a vintage store. It looked almost handmade even… Could it be that Oliver actually made Sara's ring himself? If she was right and Oliver had given the ring to Sara. That would be really sweet if he had, and it would totally fit the person he was.

She had been surprised to learn how crafty and talented Oliver was with his hands. She hadn't expected that from the billionaire's son. Then again, he was extremely stubborn and ambitious and once he's set his mind on something he was determined to see it through and wouldn't stop until he had reached his goal. Even if it was something moronic and silly, like fixing their fucking toaster. One time, when she had come over, he had been working on an old jewelry box of Sara's. The blonde had even told him to just leave it, that it was fine, she could still use it and it didn't matter. Oliver had ignored her and spent hours engrossed in the old wooden musical jewelry box with the dancing ballerina. Sin hadn't understood why Oliver had ignored Sara and fixed it, anyway. Until later, when he had presented it to her, working again. The smile on Sara's face had been blinding. It had been her grandma's who had given it to Sara on her thirteenth birthday. She had chosen to give it to Sara because of the twirling ballerina and the song it was playing. According to both Sara and Oliver, it had been the second time that Sara had been chosen to be the lead in her ballet class's production of Swan Lake, which was also the song the music box was playing. Sin had taken a double take at the revelation that Sara had been a ballet dancer, and according to Oliver a great one who could've gone pro if she had really wanted to, Sara had brushed him off though, Sin was sure there was a story behind that, too. She had not expected that. She tried to picture Sara in a tutu and had failed miserably. Yeah, those two just didn't mesh. It explained some of her moves when she was fighting, though; she had always thought it almost looked like Sara was dancing.

It had been a really sweet gesture of Oliver's.

This was also something she loved about spending time with the two of them together. She got a lot more insight on who they were before, and the stories were usually pretty good or downright hilarious. Sin still wasn't sure how exactly Oliver ended up peeing on a cop, like seriously? Peeing on any person was like… how drunk had he been? But on a cop, of all people? Yeah, that was pretty stupid. Sara and Oliver's accounts of the event were very different, and she wasn't sure which one she should believe. This was a theme with most of the not quite legal shit they used to get into when they were younger. Sara would blame it on Oliver, and Oliver, in turn, would blame it on Sara. They never reached a consensus; Sara's main argument was usually "You were older", which was not really something he could argue with, given it was an actual fact.

But not that she just believed Sara, and her insistence on how Oliver had been responsible for most of the trouble they'd gotten into, she was pretty sure Sara had been quite capable of getting in a lot of trouble all by herself and if Oliver had already been as smitten with her back then as he was now; it wasn't difficult to picture the blonde pretty much getting him to do or agree to almost anything she asked of him. To be fair, they were both probably equal parts responsible.

Yeah, hanging out with Sara and Oliver had become something she really enjoyed doing. And Oliver was even letting his guard down around her now, at least to some degree.

But what she had seriously missed was hanging out with Abercrombie, and she was so thankful for Sara asking her to come over and hang out with them. Giving her a chance to spend time with one of her closest friends, someone she had missed a lot. She was also looking forward to Thea joining them after her classes. It had been too long since the three of them had spent any time together and she missed it, missed them.

Notes:

As always let me know what you thought.

I don't care what everyone says but there is no way Oliver wouldn't have been the one to tell Sin about Sara's death. Even if Roy would've been like „I'll tell Sin." Oliver would've insisted to be the one to tell the young woman Sara considered Family. No way.

Also, we have very little background information about Sin, except for the fact that her mom had died when she was very little and her dad loved her dearly but was away a lot because of his work... so I just assumed he made sure someone would take care of her while he was gone. Sin's statement to Sara concerning her parents always rubbed me the wrong way after we met her father, it made no sense. She was twelve when she died, she would've remembered him and the fact that he went to work one day and never came back. So I gave it all my own spin, I hope it makes sense.

So, I also sort of went into the whole "no one was mad at Thea for killing Sara" thing, I hope this might help people understand the choice the people who loved Thea made and why they made it.

Yes, Oliver made Sara's wedding ring himself. Wasn't the original plan but stumbled over a handmade wedding band while trying to figure out what Sara's ring would look like and now this is a fact. lol. There is no way he would've given Sara the same ring he gave Felicity and also, Oliver wouldn't have given Sara Moira's ring even if he hadn't used it to propose to Felicity, their relationship was way too complicated for that.

And yes, Oliver gave Sara a ring. And yes, Oliver has a ring, too but there might be times they were the rings, like Sara in this chapter and there might be times they won't like Oliver in the field for sure. Cause, he could end up getting stuck somewhere with the ring and end up ripping his finger off… these things happen, trust me. And don't google it unless you want to see the proof in pictures…

Here's the link to the ring I found. Let me know what you think.

/products/raw-sapphire-diamond-white-gold-engagement-ring-green-lime-wedding-ring-custom-one-of-a-kind-gemstone-ring-three-stone-ring-byangeline-0443

Chapter title is from the song "Temporary Home" by Carrie Underwood.