Notes:
Thank you so much for all your support and sticking with me. It means so much.
Laurel got away from me a little... lol. I hope I got her right and her thought process makes sense. As always let me know what you think.
Chapter 73 I need peace inside of my soul I need karma helping me grow, I need love inside of my home I just need my wifey in a bed that I can rest on
Laurel
Laurel still wasn't sure why they were at Ollie and Sara's apartment instead of the Bunker. But her head was still spinning from everything that had happened in the last couple of hours. Starting with the phone call from Joanna's mother. She was still trying to process the fact that her best friend was missing, had been for days and who knew what could've happened to her… whether she was even still… no she couldn't go there, she couldn't lose yet another person she cared about. She just couldn't. Joanna was fine, she had to be, and they were going to save her. Everything that had happened since was a blur, which was why she wasn't sure why exactly they were here, instead of their usual base of operation. All she recalled was Felicity and Dig standing just outside the elevator obstructing her view and Ollie had pretty much ushered her back into the elevator the moment she had stepped out of it and mentioned Joanna and missing in the same sentence, after comforting her by pulling her into a tight hug, an action that always worked, there was just something about Ollie's hugs that always had and still made her feel better every single time.
She knew there was something she was missing, but obviously Ollie wasn't ready to talk about it, there was some serious tension between him and Felicity, more so than usual, and Dig seemed to be somewhere in the middle, not sure whose side he should take. What had surprised her the most was Sara's presence, not at the apartment obviously she seemed to rarely leave it, but in the dining room where Oliver had told Felicity to set up, telling her to make a list of items she would require, so he could make sure she had everything she needed to find Joanna. Her sister had stayed away from everything Green Arrow related ever since they've come back home. But she had greeted them the moment they had walked in. Well, there had also been a serious cold front towards Felicity from her sister, so she really wasn't sure what the hell was going on there. Had something happened between the three of them? And if so, what that would lead to her sister reacting the way she had?
Sara had stayed out of whatever personal drama Oliver and Felicity were in so far, acting as a neutral point, at least in a group setting. Never letting on what she was thinking about that entire ordeal, Laurel suddenly realized her sister had never commented on Oliver and Felicity's relationship and the spectacular ending of it. She was pretty sure she knew her sister's stance on it, though. She was just surprised Sara had never let on and had actually worked on getting to know Felicity better. Which showed just how much her sister had grown from the impulsive young woman she had been before the Gambit. Oliver had been involved with several girls who had been less than ideal before the two of them had gotten together and Sara had never had any issues telling those just exactly what she thought of them and even started several fights, when she had thought they had treated Ollie wrong, just like she had with Tommy's girlfriends at the time. And Laurel was pretty sure Sara still had very strong feelings and opinions towards people who treated Ollie wrong, something she could relate to. No matter their issues, and wrongdoings on his side, Oliver was one of her best friends, someone she cherished deeply and who repeatedly got taken advantage of because of his generosity and good heart. And his guilt complex.
Laurel was also pretty sure Oliver had given Sara an insight into his entire relationship with Felicity and its ending that the rest of them had not gotten, at least where his side of the story was concerned. Was this why she was behaving the way she was towards the blonde IT-genius? No, that couldn't be. That made little sense, given her sister's previous attempts at building a friendship with her. And since Ollie had only returned from his mysterious travels today, she doubted he could've shared an aspect of his former relationship with Sara that he hadn't shared before and that would lead to her sister's frosty behavior towards Felicity. What the hell had happened here? Part of her was curious about it and seriously wondered what had happened, and whether she needed to be concerned about it, but the bigger part was just using it as a distraction from the reality of her missing best friend and the paralyzing fear that came with the knowledge that Joanna had been gone for days and as a detective's daughter and assistant district attorney she knew the odds very well and they weren't in Joanna's favor.
What had also surprised her was that Sara had followed them into the dining room and had stayed there with them. This was the first time Sara was present while they talked business since she had come back home almost four months ago. Her sister had avoided the Bunker and Oliver had always steered their conversations to topics not involving the Green Arrow during their family brunches whenever their nightly activities had come up. Thea had asked her brother about it once and he had stated that Sara wanted to keep that part of their lives and the darkness that came with it as far away from their daughter as she could, which was why she was staying away and out of anything vigilante related. Laurel could understand her sister's choice and need to protect her innocent child from the horrors of the world for as long as she could and they had all respected it and made sure not to bring anything up once Oliver had explained the reason behind his change in subjects during their shared meals. That knowledge made Sara's current presence even more baffling.
"Talia told me that the man we've known as Prometheus is actually Adrian Chase, this why I asked you to not be alone with him, Laurel." The next words Oliver uttered while recounting where he had been and why he had been there ripped Laurel from her thoughts. No, that couldn't be true. He had to be wrong.
"Adrian Chase? Ollie are you sure? He's a superb DA. He has done so much for the city since taking on the role." It was very difficult for her to believe what Oliver was telling them. Adrian was so invested in his job, working so hard to help the people of Star City. Was he really sure? She had worked with him every single day. She would've noticed, right? Three years ago, she noticed something wasn't right with Sebastian, who had also done a lot for the city, not that anyone had believed her. Even Oliver and her own father had been blinded by the Alderman and believed a stranger over her. She'd noticed if something were off with Adrian, just like she had with Sebastian, right? She's had lunch with him regularly. There had even been several instances that Joanna had joined them.
How did Oliver know he could trust the information he had received from a woman he barely knew? Maybe she was just misleading him. Sending him on a wild goose chase. The role reversal to three years ago didn't escape her notice.
"Yes, I'm sure. Talia had no reason to lie to me." Oliver sounded extremely sure of that, but still, she couldn't help but question the source of Oliver's information. Especially since he had never mentioned her before. Who was this Talia? What made him so sure she was trustworthy? The people from his past had a tendency to be rather questionable individuals and not necessarily the most reliable or ethical. So even if she had been a mentor of his, that didn't mean that what she had told him was the truth. Oliver also had a tendency to develop blind spots where women were concerned, and she wasn't being mean or petty. It was just a fact. It also spoke for him. He usually thought very highly of the women in his life and had a lot of respect for them. He rarely questioned their motives or believed they could want to do him any harm in any way, shape or form, but this was a bit naïve and left him vulnerable and made it easier to deceive him. Laurel was surprised when Sara spoke up and wasn't sure whether it would be in defense of Oliver or whether she would question his trust in the strange woman, too, also being aware of their friend's weakness where women were concerned. Having been someone who had protected him from women whose intentions hadn't been favorable to him before, especially in their youth. The words leaving her sister's mouth took her by surprise and were not at all what she had expected.
"Nyssa always said, Ra's raised her in the knowledge that no lie would ever be worse than the truth. The lie would always end up being revealed as such and, therefore, lose its power and impact. While the truth would always stand the test of time and cut so much deeper, and the damage it brings would remain forever." Laurel wasn't sure what she was supposed to do with that tidbit of information her sister had suddenly decided to divulge. It was nice to hear Sara talk about her past and share things about it, especially since it was such a rare occurrence, but she didn't understand what Ra's teaching Nyssa had to do with a woman who used to train Oliver in Russia? It seemed so very random and wasn't at all what she had expected.
"Okaay,… what does that have to do with anything?" Felicity pointed out her thoughts exactly, well not exactly but what she had been thinking herself, confirming that she hadn't missed anything and wasn't the only one not seeing the connection or understanding what her sister was getting at. The sentiment made sense, and seemed accurate enough, but she just wasn't sure what it had to do with the current situation. It was very random and even if she was trying to… back Ollie's statement up… it still had little meaning and didn't help answer the question whether this Talia was someone who could be trusted or not.
"Talia is Nyssa's older half-sister." Laurel needed a moment to process the new information Sara just provided them with, as if it was the most logical and obvious explanation ever. And not a complete shocker.
Nyssa had a sister? Ra's al Ghul had another child? And said daughter had trained Oliver. Her eyes strayed to the man she was thinking about to observe his reaction to the bombshell news Sara had just dropped. No reaction. None at all. He knew. He had known before Sara had told them. It made her wonder how long Oliver had been aware of this. Wait, that meant... both Sara and Oliver had been trained by Ra's al Ghul's daughter. Another thing they had in common. Coincidence? Laurel wasn't sure, but the more she learnt about their pasts and the similarities between them, the more she understood what her mother had meant and pointed out to her.
The universe kept on shoving them on the same path, nudging them in the same direction, thrusting them into similar situations that helped them understand the other... the universe kept on pushing them together. And yes, her mom was right. It made sense; they made sense as a couple and Sara was a much better fit for Ollie than Felicity had ever been. She was coming to that realization the longer, the more. Not letting her pain and their past blind her also helped her come to this conclusion. Sara and Oliver had always been so alike and it had been one of the reasons they had become fast friends and their friendship had stood the test of time, even with their age difference. There had been an understanding and connection between them because of their characters that even rivaled Ollie's friendship with Tommy. And those two had been as close as brothers, closer even.
She had spent a lot of time thinking about what Joanna had said and had to admit that her closest friend had been right, at least mostly. Learning about some of the reasons for their affair had hurt and there would always be a part of her that was going to hurt because of it. She had trusted them, and they had betrayed that trust. It wasn't something to get over easily and she couldn't just forget it and pretend it never happened. Especially now that she knew just how long they had been involved behind her back. But she didn't want to dwell on it any longer. She didn't want to focus on the pain they had caused her. She didn't want to stay trapped in the past.
And there was another undeniable truth, especially now. It was the simple fact that Oliver loved Sara, and Sara loved Oliver. And looking back objectively now, she had to admit, that revelation hadn't come out of nowhere. It had already been plain to see back when she and Oliver had still been in a relationship. She just had been blind to the truth, just like everyone else. Because she hadn't wanted to see it.
Her best friend had also been right about another thing; she wanted what Sara had. But that wasn't Oliver. It was what he represented. She wanted what Ollie was to Sara. She had been projecting some of her feelings of loneliness, the aching for the companionship she had shared and the future she had hoped for with Tommy onto them. It had been easier to act as if there wasn't anything missing in her life, as if she weren't longing for the love she had lost when they had lost Tommy, when there hadn't been a constant reminder in the form of her sister and Tommy's best friend. Watching them together, watching them build their life together, their own family made her acutely aware of what she had wanted for such a long time, and what was missing in her life. It showed her the life she had wanted with Tommy, a life she would never have. The void Tommy's absence left in their lives was so much more palpable and noticeable now that both Oliver and Sara were home, especially given their new domestic situation. The three of them had always been together, Tommy would've been a constant at their apartment, had he still been alive. He would've been so excited to become an uncle. He would've been so happy for them. Tommy should've been here.
"I think Adrian might be the one responsible for Joanna's disappearance." Ollie's next words hit like a gut punch, but also distracted her from her thoughts that were becoming more depressing by the minute. If he was right, then this was her fault. Adrian knew about Joanna because of her. Joanna knew and trusted Adrian because of her. If Oliver was indeed right, it meant that she was responsible for that. She was still mulling those thoughts over when they started to discuss Joanna and what to do to in order to find her. It was shortly after that Oliver sent Dig to get everything Felicity needed so they could create a makeshift workspace for her on Ollie and Sara's dining room table. The blonde was already diligently working on her laptop, trying to find anything that could give them a clue as to what exactly had happened to Joanna.
Sara
She wasn't sure how to feel about the text Ollie had just sent her. If she were completely honest, the last thing she wanted or needed right now was to be confronted with not only Felicity, but Laurel, too. She wasn't ready to deal with it this way, coming face to face with the two women she had trusted and who had betrayed her so severely. She needed more time to come to terms with it on her own before being able to deal with it and interact with both women. It was all still too fresh, and she was still too raw to do this now. Both facts her husband was aware of, which meant he had very good reasons to bring them here. She knew how hyperaware of her emotions and overprotective he was of her.
If they were leaving the Bunker now, she still had a little time to prepare herself for the inevitable confrontation and try to sort her feelings and emotions and compartmentalize, pushing the unbelievable pain she was feeling into a box and the box as far back in her mind as she could, she was seriously hoping it would work. Otherwise, she wasn't sure how she was supposed to keep her emotions in check and herself together.
Was this how Laurel had felt when she had learnt about Ollie and her?
Fuck. The sudden thought made her feel sick to her stomach again, and she felt like crying. If this was how she had made her sister feel, she had deserved everything Laurel had thrown at her and so much more. If Laurel had felt this special kind of anguish and betrayal; this deep-seated hurt at having been so deeply wounded by someone you loved, someone you trusted, someone you believed only wanted the best for you, she deserved every punishment that had been dealt out to her from the moment the Gambit had gone down and so much more. She deserved to feel this way now, to know exactly just how her sister had felt. Just what she had done to Laurel, the pain she had caused her.
Sara took several deep breaths, trying to calm her spiraling thoughts and taking a hold of herself. Her hands were shaking, and her vision was becoming blurry because of the moisture filling her eyes. Fuck. She couldn't use this now. Not now. Not when all of Team Arrow could show up at her doorstep any minute. Why had her brain decided now was a good time to point out the similarities in Laurel's and her situation? Why couldn't it have waited until after… when she was alone with Ollie again? The last thing she wanted was for them to see her this vulnerable. She placed one of her shaking hands on her stomach, gently caressing Mila through her skin, hoping it would help her focus on something besides the turmoil of thoughts and emotions running through her. None of those mattered right now. All that mattered was whatever it took to find Joanna and bring her back home.
She had yet to meet the woman, but she knew how important she was to her older sister. And Sara swore Laurel was not going to lose her best friend. Not if she could help it. Not that there was much she could do, but what she could do was push her feelings to the side and be whoever Laurel needed her to be. They could talk about it once Joanna was safe.
Fuck! She was still taking deep breaths, trying to calm herself down while desperately trying to hold her tears back. This was the part about her pregnancy she hated the most. How she had no control over her emotions at all and how everything seemed to get to her so much more and everything she felt was just amplified.
It wasn't long after that she heard the front door open and the voices accompanying the people invading her safe haven. Ollie walked straight to her, placing his hand atop of Mila, as he had taken up to do as a way of greeting their daughter, while softly kissing her temple, mumbling an apology to her in Chinese. She had taken hold of his other hand with both of hers, needing to hold on to him, to help ground her emotions and focus on the matter at hand, which was a missing woman and not her personal drama. They stayed like that for long moments, before she slowly dropped his hand, one of her hands found its way into his hair, softly stroking it for a moment as assurance that there was nothing he had to apologize for before dropping it and squaring her shoulders. Ollie caught her eyes for a moment, silently asking her if she was sure she was ready to face them. She gave him a subtle nod, and he turned back towards their guests, his hand leaving her stomach in the process. And Sara came face to face with the two women who had violated her privacy so severely and used her in a plot to deceive her dad. She could feel the emotions she had not yet been able to push aside completely resurface and swallowed hard, grasping Ollie's hand desperately. Trying to gather strengths from him. Sara felt him squeeze her hand in quiet support while addressing his team, explaining how they'd be using the dining room to work.
It was Felicity's throw away comment how she doubted a room meant for eating was equipped for her to do the type of research needed to find Joanna that caused a shift in her emotions. The anguish and tears were pushed aside as disbelieve and anger took over at the lack of respect in her belittling comment. She'd love to see Felicity's face at Ollie's office… Lyla had provided the hardware for that one. But she knew why Ollie wanted everyone in the dining room. It was a room they rarely used, and there was no way in hell he'd let Felicity touch any of his electronics right now, given the information they had just been provided with.
Sara was pissed off at her husband's behalf, given Felicity's demeaning attitude. Ollie was very capable on a computer. He was ARGUS trained after all, which meant he had been trained by some of the best hackers out there, because ARGUS only "hired" the best.
She didn't know why Oliver had brought everyone here. It didn't matter, not really. He felt this was the best place for them to start working on locating Joanna, and that was all she needed to know to accept and respect his decision. But that didn't mean she was going to take shit like that and let people talk to Ollie like that in his own home. She wasn't going to put up with that. And she wasn't going to keep her mouth shut, and really didn't give a shit what his opinion was about that. He'd known her long enough to know how she reacted to people outright disrespecting or mistreating him. And she didn't care if it was a crucial member of his own team and his ex. She squashed her anger for now, knowing it wasn't the place or time to for it. She wasn't going to risk Joanna's life just to give voice to her anger and Felicity a piece of her mind.
Ollie let them enter before looking at her in question and concern, a look that shifted her emotions again and nearly did her in, god she hated the emotional rollercoaster that came with Mila, she just gave him a shaky smile and tugged at his hand following the team into their dining room. A place they rarely used. They usually ate in the kitchen, unless they had guests over. Both of them preferring the intimacy of their kitchen to the very formal room thought to entertain.
Laurel
Laurel had taken up watching her sister and childhood friend, individually and when they were together, during the hours they've been gathering information about Joanna's disappearance and Adrian's possible involvement in it. It had started when they had entered their apartment, Ollie had walked up to Sara, and she had taken hold of one of his hands with both of hers, while he had placed a lingering kiss to her temple, his other hand softly stroking her by now very prominent stomach. Only for her sister to then bury one of her hands in his hair. The entire exchange had been so very intimate and powerful. And that was when she had come to the biggest realization yet;
Oliver.
How different Ollie was ever since he had brought Sara home. Well, different wasn't the right word, well it was, but... Ollie had changed. But not because Sara was back... well, it was part of the reason she was sure of it, but…
Ollie had changed almost three years ago after Sara had died, actually it had started before. Ollie had started changing after Sara had left Star and went back to the League. He had changed slowly at first, until that horrible, fateful night her sister had been murdered. Ollie had been devastated and completely broken. She hadn't been able to,… she hadn't realized... she had been so focused on her own pain that she hadn't...
Losing Sara had shattered something in Ollie that had led to him changing almost fundamentally... it had been after her death that he had given more and more of his leadership role away. That he had relied more and more on Dig and Felicity and less on himself and his instincts. And Roy had pointed that out numerous times, but no one had listened to him, no one had questioned it or seen it as an issue. They should've. They should've listened to Roy and realized just how much Oliver had been suffering because of Sara's death and how it had made him doubt and question himself.
Ollie had changed after Sara had died and had let people tell him who he was supposed to be, how he was supposed to be and who he was supposed to be with... losing himself in the person people expected him to be and no longer standing up and being okay with the person he was. One of the traits she had always admired about him had been the way he was just unapologetically himself. And didn't care what other people thought. Take it or leave it. He was always true to himself. Just like her sister. Or had been, until Sara had been ripped away from them from one moment to the next, and he'd been torn apart at the seams.
So, yes, Ollie had slowly changed ever since he brought Sara back home, only not really because, for the first time in almost three years, Ollie was Ollie again. He was the person she had known since first grade, the person she knew in her bones. Yes, Ollie had changed. He had changed back into the man he was. Into his true self.
Oliver was believing in himself again. He was trusting his instincts again. He wasn't letting other people change his mind and influence his decisions anymore. It was frustrating and infuriating at times, always had been. But this was who Ollie was, who he had always been, and she hadn't realized until recently how much she had missed him. How much she had missed the real Ollie. Not the person he pretended to be to please everyone around him. No, Oliver Jonas Queen, Moira and Robert Queen's son, most stubborn person on the planet, next to her sister. He was bullheaded and passionate and obnoxious and demanding and everything else that came with the over-privileged upbringing he had been raised in. His saving grace was the fact that he generally used those traits with good intentions. His heart was in the right place and he wanted to help people, wanted to do good, wanted to make a positive change to their city and the people living in it.
And this was how she had noticed the change in him and how... she wanted to say relaxed, but that wasn't the right word to describe it...
She had realized how tense Ollie used to be during his relationship with Felicity. How he had always seemed to be prepared for... just how much he had tried to change who he had been raised to be and who he was in his bones to fit the image Felicity had constructed of him in her mind. She could relate to Felicity, and wasn't holding her newly found revelation against the other woman, having been guilty of doing the same thing. Pressuring Ollie into trying to be someone he wasn't. It had backfired about as spectacularly with her as it did with Felicity. Ollie was who he was. You couldn't change him and you shouldn't want to. He was one of the best people she knew. There was a reason he had been one of her best friends since first grade and that hadn't changed, even with all the crap they've been through. He was still someone she trusted and cherished deeply, someone she wanted and needed in her life.
Ollie hadn't been tense in months, at least not like that. He didn't walk on eggshells and did what he could to avoid any confrontation. He seemed more balanced. More sure of who he was. No longer ashamed of the choices he's made, he was still forced to make from time to time. No longer afraid of getting judged for them.
She let her eyes stray from Ollie to Sara next to him. Her sister didn't judge Ollie, her sister didn't really judge anyone, never had. Sara had given him his strength back. She was the reason Ollie felt comfortable enough in his skin to be his true self. To no longer try to please everyone and pretend to be someone he was not just to fit someone's image of who he was that they had fabricated in their minds. An image that was so far removed from who he really was.
Ollie might have brought Sara home physically. But Sara had returned Oliver, the real Oliver, to them.
Ollie looked happy, genuinely happy. He wasn't constantly smiling or behaving carefree. No, it wasn't that obvious. And that was what hit her like a truck. Ollie had looked and acted happy for the last couple of years. Smiling and... it all had been very in your face, but it hadn't been genuine. He had been unbelievably tense, always had his defenses up underneath.
He was serious now, worried about the newfound knowledge and Joanna, but it was focused on the matter at hand. He was tense because his enemy had the same teacher as him, because her best friend had been missing for almost a week now. But underlying that, he was relaxed, happy, balanced. It was nothing obvious, but it was as if there had been a fundamental shift in his demeanor and outlook on life. He was sure of himself, of his place... his hand was interlaced with Sara's. That was nothing new, nothing unusual. It was normal whenever Sara was around people... except it was different this time. At least it seemed to be different. Their hands were loosely interlaced, Sara wasn't holding on to his arm with her other hand as she used to. They were both at ease with the situation and each other.
Laurel was pretty sure they were simply holding hands because they felt like it. No other reason but to hold the other's hand. Just like she had noticed the small touches they would exchange from time to time, like Sara brushing her hand over Ollie's arm, or shoulder, or the way she'd squeeze his biceps in a silent show of comfort when he was addressing something he knew he'd get backlash for and the way Ollie would to the same to her sister, and how very attuned to Sara's every move he was, like that one time she had tensed up and put her hand right between her rounded stomach and her breast, and his hand replaced hers so he could softly massaged the spot and moved it downwards. She'd been confused for a moment until Thea had leaned over and whispered: "baby girl sometimes tries to put her foot up Sara's ribcage."
Again, nothing that they hadn't been doing the last couple of months. The touches used to be a show of comfort and assurance, a way of grounding each other. Now they just looked affectionate. They were the touches of two people in love. Just like the small, tender smiles they'd exchange every once in a while.
Laurel had to smile. Did this mean her sister had taken her advice from weeks ago to heart? Had she finally let Ollie know how she was feeling about him? Was this why she had changed her mind and decided to stay in Star and raise her daughter with Ollie?
The warm, happy feeling that came over her while watching her sister and Ollie startled her for a moment. She hadn't expected it. But seeing them together like this; happy, at ease, less burdened,… seeing them like this brought her genuine joy. And the feeling had taken her by surprise.
Watching and analyzing them had been a welcoming distraction, and the realization she had reached was as pleasant as it was surprising.
Laurel was sure that the conversations she's had with both Joanna and her mom had helped her come to this state of mind and she was grateful to the two women and how they had refused to sugarcoat the situation and pointed some hard truths out to her. Especially if it meant that she could now be genuinely happy for her sister and Oliver and the life they were creating for themselves and their daughter.
Notes:
What did you guys think?
So this turned out different than originally planned, lol. Nothing new there. I hope Laurel's reaction made sense and the fact that she is very worried about Joanna comes through.
I hope it came through that Laurel's thoughts about Oliver and women isn't meant in any negative sense, it is just a statement made on 20 plus years of observation on Laurel's side.
I was going to say something else but I forgot what it was... I'll add it if I'll remember it.
Chapter title is from the song "Naked" by Tom MacDonald.