Tonks tried not to think about anything else while she cooked dinner, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Usually, Remus would have been home by now, or he would have, at the very least, let her know that he was going to be late. Glancing at the clock, she let herself get lost in the steady ticking for a few moments before she turned back to the pot that was threatening to boil over.
She had just turned off the last burner on the oven when she heard someone stumble out of the fireplace in the other room. She tensed. Though no one should have been able to get in beside her and Remus, she knew better than to brush things off.
But it was Remus who entered the kitchen a minute later. There was a tired smile on his face, but there was also trepidation. Tonks forgot about dinner, turning to face him with her arms crossed against her chest.
"Where have you been?" she asked. "I was getting worried."
She didn't consider herself a worrier. While at Hogwarts, she could have gone more than a day without seeing a friend and scarcely noticed if she was being entirely honest. But these days it was different. With danger seemingly lurking around every corner she'd become more attuned to what might be happening to the people she loved at any given second.
"I'm sorry," Remus said, his eyes on the floor.
She expected him to kiss her in greeting, but instead, he headed straight for the kettle and began making himself tea like he needed to keep his hands occupied.
Her suspicion kept growing as much as she didn't want it to.
"Where have you been?"
Remus eyed the pots and pans still full of dinner like he hoped Tonks would return her attention to them and let him off the hook. She didn't, and eventually, he relented.
"I'm sorry," he repeated, making her stomach sink. "I went to visit Harry, Ron, and Hermione."
Tonks gasped. "You found them?"
Remus shrugged, and Tonks realised with a start that their appearance in the story was hardly relevant to Remus' apology.
"They're at Grimmauld Place," he said. "They weren't hard to find, but they're doing what Dumbledore wanted them to. It's best for us to not get involved."
"Then why did you go there?"
His face twisted painfully, and for a moment, Tonks expected him to apologise yet again. He opened and closed his mouth several times before finally speaking.
"I asked to go with them." He finally looked at her, his eyes pleading. "Dora, I was being an idiot. I thought you'd be better off on your own or with your parents' support. This war is dangerous for all of us, but none more so than me. And our child."
His eyes looked down at her stomach for the first time that day. Tonks' hand absentmindedly covered it. There was still nothing to see, but both of them were perfectly aware of it.
Unshed tears burned in Tonks' eyes.
"That's complete bollocks," she snapped. "This is a war, Remus. We're always going to be safer together than we are apart."
Remus gave a dark laugh. She could hear the tears in his own voice.
"I recognize that now. I…" He swallowed. "Harry set me straight. He refused to let me run away. I was angry at first, but after I left, I ended up walking around London for a while, and I realised that he was right. I was being a coward. Merlin, Tonks, I don't know how you could possibly forgive me."
A tear dripped down her cheek. Remus stared at it like he wanted to wipe it away but was too scared to try. Tonks was thankful for it. She wasn't sure what she would do if he touched her. Part of her wanted to yell and chastise him. Hadn't they been here before after all? She'd thought they'd moved past his insecurities.
On the other hand, she couldn't blame him for being scared. The thought of their child coming into the world in the state it was in terrified her too. She knew she'd been born into similar conditions, but she could hardly remember the last war. All she remembered was peace, and the thought of their child being in danger terrified her to her core.
The only difference was that she would never ever think that Remus would put their child in more danger.
Sobs wracked her body, and without thinking she surged forward and grabbed onto Remus. He froze for a second before returning the embrace, holding her close. She felt his own tears in her hair as they held onto each other tightly.
"It's okay," Remus promised into her hair, barely able to get the words out. "I'm here, and I'm not leaving."