CW: Negative thoughts towards the end of the chapter

Two days after my birthday was a Saturday, and therefore would have been a Hogsmeade trip if Hogsmeade wasn't still out of bounds of all students after the events of Cynthia's death. Apparently, the teachers were still searching the area for any evidence as to who killed her but had so far found nothing.

It was kind of a good thing that we didn't go to Hogsmeade, because it gave me an excuse not to purchase anything and have the words: 'REGISTERED WEREWOLF' come up when I paid.

The other pro about not going to Hogsmeade that weekend was that it gave the other marauders and I to continue our work on the map. We'd added several passageways that we'd found around the school. James had also come up with the idea of putting a tracking spell on everyone in the school.

So far we'd managed to cast it over the four of us, but we were unsure how to do it on everyone else without them noticing, and even if we were to do that, how we'd be able to get it to track anyone who set foot in the castle.

So, that weekend after my birthday, the four of us sat down for a very important marauders meeting to discuss it.

"Don't you think it's a bit of an invasion of privacy?" Peter said nervously.

"Maybe," said Sirius. "But it would be interesting, don't you think? And I don't think we'd be able to see their face, exactly, just their name and a little dot or something that moves as they move."

"But how do we do that?" James asked, and they all looked at me expectantly.

"Um, well... we could cast the tracking spell over the entire castle," I said. "We'd need to hit, say, the roof of the Great Hall, and as soon as someone is under that, they're tracked. We could go there tonight after everyone's asleep, and then tomorrow morning it will hit everyone."

"You are a genius," Sirius said, smiling widely at me.

That night at midnight, Sirius, James, and I squeezed under the invisibility cloak, with Peter transformed into a rat and perched on James's shoulder.

"God, even three of us barely fit under this now," James said, cracking his back and then crouching down.

"Would I be smaller as a dog?" Sirius asked, then transformed. His head was a lot lower, but between his head and his tail was too long for the cloak.

"It's fine, we'll be fine," said James as Sirius transformed back into himself. He then looked at the mirror, where we could see three pairs of feet with no legs attached.

"I'll stay here," I said. "I'm the one who's six foot and causing the problem."

"But you're the one who came up with the idea," said Sirius.

"It doesn't matter," I said, stepping out from underneath the cloak. "You guys just go."

"Alright," said James, then he got out his mirror and handed it to me. "Here. We'll take Sirius's, and if we get caught, you need to come out and complete the job. You're a prefect so you'll be fine without the cloak."

"OK," I said, looking in the mirror. "Good luck."

"See you."

They left, taking Sirius's mirror with them, and I sat down on my bed, holding onto the map.

"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good," I said, and the map opened for me. The only names it was tracking were mine and the other marauders, who, according to the map, were walking downstairs out of the Gryffindor tower.

I eventually got bored and tired while watching their dots move, and fell asleep unintentionally, only woken up when they all burst back into the dormitory.

"Moony, what the hell!?" James cried, causing me to jump. "We were calling to you through the mirror for backup, and you didn't respond... why were you asleep?"

"What?" I said groggily, but then, as my vision returned, I remembered. "Oh my god... I'm so sorry, guys. I didn't realise... I'm so sorry..."

"It's alright," said Peter. "We did it and managed to get away."

"Barely," said James. "But anyway, tomorrow morning, everyone will be tracked."

The next morning, the other marauders and I stuffed our breakfast in, before walking as fast as we could back to our dormitory to check the map. Sure enough, when we opened it, it was filled with dots, almost all of them in the Great Hall.

"What about the people who didn't go to the Great Hall?" Peter asked.

"They've got to go in the Great Hall eventually," said Sirius, looking at the map.

We spent the rest of that day, a Sunday, huddled together and just watching everyone. We were all so mesmerised that we didn't even leave to go to lunch.

"Oh my god, look, Evans is finally leaving the library," James said, pointing at Lily's dot.

"Have you been watching her this entire time?" Sirius asked.

"Maybe..." said James, blushing.

"Look, Snivellus is walking towards her," I said, pointing at Snape's dot, which was moving towards Lily's dot.

"He'd better not try anything..." said James through gritted teeth. When their dots came together, Snape's stopped, but Lily's kept moving right past him. "Oh my god, yes, Evans! You tell him! You tell that little scum of the earth he's not worth your time!"

"Oh my god, this tracking thing is going to be so helpful with pranks and sneaking around," said Sirius. "I can't believe we did it."

And then he lowered his head and kissed the map, causing us all to laugh.

"It is our child," said James, leaning down and kissing the map as well. "We must protect and love it at all costs."

"I love you, little map," said Peter. "Or, big map, I guess. You're not very little."

Two weeks later was James's seventeenth birthday, and he also received a watch from his parents. Obviously, it was fancier than mine, but it was even fancier than Sirius's. There was real gold and diamond embedded around the face, and, below where his name had been engraved in the same place my name had been engraved, a picture of a broomstick had been engraved as well.

Just before we got up to leave after breakfast, Lily approached us, holding something that was small and wrapped up.

"Um, happy birthday, Potter," she said, then handed him the gift and quickly walked away.

James's jaw dropped. "Did... did that actually happen? Or am I dreaming?"

"Nope, that was real," said Sirius, pinching James's arm.

"Did she give you guys birthday presents?" James asked Sirius and I slowly, and we both shook our heads. "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!"

"Shhhh," said Peter, as multiple people turned their heads to stare at James. "Come on, James, let's go somewhere else, somewhere you like, how about the Quidditch Pitch?"

James was in so much of an excited shock that we practically had to drag him out of the Great Hall and towards the Quidditch Pitch, where we sat him down on the stands.

"I can't believe it..." he said, practically shaking.

"What did she get you?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know," said James, trying to unwrap the gift, but his hands were trembling too much. "Can you open it for me?"

Sirius nodded and took the gift and unwrapped it. It was a box of muggle chocolates.

"Chocolates," said James dreamily. "D'you reckon she put Amortentia in there?"

He unwrapped one of the chocolates and stuffed it in his mouth. "I can't tell if she put any potion in there... I still love her the same amount..."

"Let me try," I said, taking one of the chocolates and taking a bite. I felt exactly the same about Lily as I had before: she was a good friend of mine and my prefect partner. "No, no love potion. I don't think she would put a love potion in there, even if she was head over heels for you."

"Moony, I think she is," said Sirius. "I mean, I've never wanted to give James false hope, but these are muggle chocolates. Which means she would have had to have gotten them during Christmas break. Meaning she was thinking about your birthday that far back, which means... I think she likes you, James."

James let out a long scream of joy.

James ate all his chocolates within a week, and before the Easter holidays began, which was exactly a week after James's birthday, and the day before my first full moon as an adult werewolf.

I was extremely grateful for the date of that full moon because it meant my first transformation into a fully-grown werewolf would be completely on my own and the marauders wouldn't be in any sort of danger.

On the day of the full moon, I felt exactly the same as I did on any other full moon: restless, angry, and sick. My parents could tell how worried I was about the night, so they managed to keep me occupied for the entire day, with my mum insisting we all clean the house the muggle way so my dad and I could get a taste of what a life without magic was like, but the two of us just whipped out our wands when she wasn't looking and cleaned the entire house with one flick of our wrists.

We also made pizza dough so the three of us could enjoy homemade pizzas for dinner that night. In the hour leading up to the full moon, we all had a cup of tea, and my mum didn't even try to convince me to have less sugar in mine like she usually would because she thought the sugar could help calm me down, otherwise take me into a sugar high so I wasn't so worried.

"It will be alright, Remus," my mum said to me, stroking my hair as she used to when I was small.

"There are no reports of transformations being any different for adults than for children," my dad said to me. "You have nothing to worry about."

Deep down, I knew they were right. The moon would be the same as always. But still, I worried, because I was a worrier, who worried about everything. I was the sort of person who thought that if something good was finally happening in my life, it would all eventually crumble, and I'd be in a horrible state again.

Like when I was four and was bitten by Greyback, or when I was twelve and I killed Monifa, and then so many other students at Hogwarts. Or when I was fifteen, and Sirius tried to use me to get Snape killed.

So yeah, I was worrying about my first full moon as an adult werewolf. Not because I could see any proper reason for it to go awfully, but because a part of me thought I just deserved it to go awfully.

So when the time came for me to go into the basement to transform, I stumbled down the stairs alone, and, trembling, slipped inside, and just five minutes later began to transform into the stupid beast that I was.