Chapter 5 - Girl Talk
Just another day at school.
In the infirmary, the assistant ghost girl Oshizu pours nine cups of tea on a tray. Then she walks around and hands a cup to everyone in the room.
On one side of the room, Mikado sits in her chair with Tearju standing next to her.
On the other side, sitting on stools, are Yui, Nana, Yami, Rin, Saki and Aya.
On one of the beds, Celine plays with a teddy bear.
Oshizu finishes handing out the tea cups.
"Thank you, Oshizu," says Mikado. "And thank you all for coming on such short notice."
"Pardon me, Dr. Ryouko, but what's this about?" asks Yui.
"Yes," says Saki. "I don't see anyone in need of medical attention. So if this isn't an emergency, we'll be on our way."
"Well, I wouldn't call it an emergency. More like...a development," says Mikado, sipping her tea. "It's about Rito Yuki."
Yui and Nana choke on their tea, Yami and Rin's faces twinge, Saki and Aya blink in confusion, and Celine jumps for joy on the bed.
"Rito? Oh, great. What did he do now?" asks Nana.
"Which one of you did he fall on this time?" asks Yui.
"Th-that's not it at all," says Oshizu. "He didn't fall on any of us. Well, not yet anyway."
"Getting back on track," says Mikado. "As you're all well aware, Yuki suffers from a very unique condition."
"There's nothing unique about it, doctor," sneers Nana with an angry red face. "He's a complete beast. Always tripping and falling during the most impossible of circumstances right into our breasts and panties."
"In-indeed," says Yui. "While he is kindhearted every now and then, he's still incredibly shameless."
"Mmm-hmm," says Yami. "Even if it's not his fault, I cannot tolerate his horrid lewdness. After all, I hate perverted things."
"Yes, yes, we already know all this stuff," says Saki.
"If anyone's suffering, Dr. Ryouko, it's us girls," says Aya. "It's not safe for us or any female to be around Rito Yuki."
"I agree," says Rin. "I would like to be able to trust him like his sister, but I just don't feel that way about him."
"Now, now, girls, that's enough," says Tearju. "Please don't say such mean things about Yuki."
Celine jumps off the bed and runs to Yui's legs, wanting to be picked up.
"Oh, hi, Celine," says Yui.
She picks the toddler up, and sets her on her lap with a maternal smile.
"He really is a gentle boy," continues Tearju. "And like Mikado said, he suffers from a unique condition."
"That's right," says Mikado. "But recently, we've noticed a change in his behavior."
"What do you mean 'change'?" asks Yui, cradling Celine.
The toddler feels her eyes getting heavy, and starts to doze off.
"A few weeks ago, we studied Yuki's perverted antics," says Mikado. "And we discovered that his propensity for falling onto girls actually originates from his deep-rooted, overwhelming respect for girls."
"Overwhelming respect?" asks Nana.
"That's right," replies Oshizu. "Rito told us that when he was young, he buried any lustful desires he had towards women out of respect for them. Guess he didn't wanna grow up into some sexual beast like the principal. Talk about irony."
"Meaning what exactly?" asks Yami.
"Think of it this way, girls," says Mikado. "Imagine you're squeezing a garden hose, and the water starts backing up. After a while, what happens to the hose?"
"It explodes," responds Rin.
"Correct," says Mikado. "Now imagine Yuki is the hose, and the sexual urges he's been repressing since childhood is the backed-up water. Instead of naturally releasing over the years through puberty like they would for a normal boy, those blocked urges are exploding out of Yuki all at once."
"Ew," says Saki.
"And just like the hose having no control over the water that bursts and sprays out of it, Yuki has no control over where, when or how his urges burst and spray out of him," says Mikado.
"This is gross," says Aya.
"I'll say," agrees Nana.
Yui carries the sleeping Celine back to her bed, and covers her with the blankets.
"Wait a minute, Dr. Ryouko," she says, returning to her stool. "Are you saying Yuki is a shameless pervert because he was trying NOT to become a shameless pervert when he was a kid?"
"Pretty much, hmm-hmm," replies Mikado.
"I honestly have no response to that," says Yui.
"Me neither," says Rin.
"Doctor," says Yami. "You said you studied Rito Yuki. Were you trying to find a cure for his condition?"
Everyone perks up and leans in close, praying for good news.
"That's our Yami. As sharp as she is cute," praises Tearju, causing Yami to blush.
"As a matter of fact, we were," says Mikado. "Unfortunately, we tried everything, and I mean EVERYTHING to cure Yuki, but we failed. I've seen just about every illness known to man or alien, but this beats the heck out of me. Needless to say, poor Yuki could be stuck with this condition for the rest of his life."
"Say what?" asks Nana.
"In other words," says Saki. "Unless we get as far away from Rito Yuki as possible, he'll be groping us for the rest of OUR lives."
"Poor Yuki? I say poor us," says Aya.
"I know it's difficult to accept, girls," says Mikado. "But as a licensed professional, I can assure you that Yuki, as clumsy as he is, truly doesn't do the things he does on purpose. I just wanted you all to understand his side of the story. That's why I asked you all here."
"Well, then shouldn't you be telling this to the whole school, doctor?" asks Yui.
"Konebama's right," says Yami. "After all, we're hardly the only girls Rito Yuki falls on."
"It's Kotegawa!" barks Yui.
She immediately covers her mouth. To her relief, Celine is still asleep in bed.
"True," says Mikado. "But with all due respect, girls, you're the ones who react the most violently towards Yuki following his accidents."
...
"Well, how would you expect us to react, doctor?" inquires Nana. "If you say it's never his fault and they really are just accidents, I'll believe you. But so what? That doesn't change the fact that he keeps violating us, accident or not. Are you saying we should just forgive him every time it happens like it's nothing?"
"No, I'm not," replies Mikado. "But let me ask you something, Nana. Other than Celine, you're the only girl in this room who lives with Yuki. Tell me, when was the last time he groped you or anyone else in the house?"
"Why, just this morning, he…no," says Nana. "Then it was last night when he…uh, erm...I…I...I don't know."
"And what about the rest of you?" asks Tearju.
"Yeah. When was the last time Rito fell onto you?" asks Oshizu.
None of the girls speak. They're all lost in thought, reminiscing about the most recent of Rito's accidents. But they all come up short.
"I don't remember," says Yami.
"Neither do I," says Rin.
"Exactly. Even I can't recall the last time he fell onto me," says Mikado.
"Or me," says Tearju.
"Or me," says Oshizu.
"Yeah, well, don't get used to it," says Nana. "Sooner or later, he's gonna trip into one of our chests, and swear it was just an accident like he always does."
"I wouldn't be so sure, Nana," counters Mikado. "Remember when I said there was a development in Yuki's condition? Something's happened to him. And whatever it is, it's causing a rapid decrease in his perverted accidents."
"Wait! Doctor, are you saying what I think you're saying?" asks Yui.
Celine rolls in her bed. Yui panics and covers her mouth again.
"Sorry, Celine," she whispers.
"Well, we don't wanna jinx it," says Tearju.
"And we don't wanna get anyone's hopes up," says Oshizu.
"But yes," says Mikado. "It is possible that Yuki's lewd condition is starting to disappear on its own."
...
"Are you serious?" asks Nana.
"Please say it's true, doctor," says Yami.
Everyone stands up. This is great news for them. The very idea of never falling victim to Rito's [accidental] perversion sounds too good to be true.
"Well, we still don't know what this new development is," says Mikado. "But we'd like to find out. And we're gonna need your help to do so."
"Our help?" asks Rin.
"Yes," replies Oshizu. "The sooner we find out what happened to Rito, the sooner we can use it to speed up his recovery, if you wish to call it that."
"And the quicker he recovers…" starts Yui.
"The quicker he'll stop falling onto anyone ever again," says Mikado. "Girls, we'd like you all to pay close attention to Yuki. See if you can identify any changes in his lifestyle."
"O-of course, it's your choice," adds Tearju. "But if you do wanna help, just please try and be patient with Yuki when it comes to his accidents. Getting violent with him may have the opposite effect and actually slow down his recovery."
"Leave it to us, Ms. Lunatique, Dr. Ryouko!" declares Saki. "For the sake of Rin and all women, and for Rito Yuki's sake too, we'll put an end to his perversion once and for all!"
"Here, here," says Aya.
"W-why'd you single me out, Miss Saki?" asks Rin, blushing.
"I can't believe this is finally happening. It's a miracle," beams Yui.
"You seem pretty happy about this, Yui," teases Oshizu.
"What? No," says Yui with a flushed face. "Ahem. I-I just think it's half past time Yuki's accidents came to an end."
"Preach," says Yami. "I can't promise how patient I'll be with him, but I'll try."
Tearju smiles at Yami, and thinks to herself.
Isn't this wonderful, Yami? Now you can get even closer to Yuki, and enjoy your romance to the fullest.
Oshizu thinks to herself as well.
Oh, Haruna, isn't this wonderful? With this, you can enjoy your romance with Rito to the fullest without anymore problems.
Mikado stares at the six girls. Among them, Yui and Rin stand out the most; their flustered expressions make their feelings all too clear.
Yui, Rin, could it be that the two of you also…? Oh, Yuki, you sly devil, you, hmm-hmm, she thinks.
Saki and Aya are practically dancing, overjoyed by the news. Rin, Yui and Yami can't help but smile, though they all try to hide it. But while the other girls appear happy, Nana remains dismayed and unconvinced.
Celine laughs in her sleep, enjoying a wonderful dream.
Outside, another one of Stem's scouting probes hovers by the window before flying away, continuing the search for Rito.
Author's Note: No Rito this time around. I wanted to focus on the harem members he'll have the most difficulty with. Personally, Yui and Rin are my favorite characters, and I'm looking forward to writing their chapters. And as for Stem? He's coming. Don't know when, but he's coming.
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