"My sins are unforgivable."

One year had passed since the fall of Team Rocket, since the death of his brother, Red. The mask he wore for three years, Alpha, had been put to rest, and Ash Ketchum had been resurrected.

With his testimony, the joint Kanto/Johto government finally had what they needed to put Giovanni behind bars for the rest of his life. In the eyes of the law, Ash was a free man. Yet, despite that, he was in a prison of his own making, recalling all the horrible things he so willingly participated in during his Team Rocket days.

"You know, I remember every one of their faces. How their friendly smiles twisted when they realized what I had been sent there to do. Some looked at me in complete fear, they knew they were no match for me, and their Pokémon, their friends, would be mine. Others though, had pure seething hatred, recognizing me as the monster I was, that I still am."

"I won't lie to you," Paul began to speak. They sat across from each other in Ash's childhood home, the place where both his mother, and brother took their final breaths. "There isn't enough good you could do that could make up for the sins of your past. They will follow you the rest of your life, no matter where you go, that's the truth."

Nothing Paul said wasn't anything he didn't already know, but hearing his old friend say it so bluntly did twist like a knife in his chest.

"I ran into this little girl recently while I was traveling through Kalos with May, couldn't have been more than twelve years old. She went up to me and looked me dead in the eye, and told me that stealing her brother's Pokémon drove him to his death. That taking the one thing he could call a friend pushed him over the edge, and caused him to take his own life."

Ash paused for a moment, taking a deep breath and clearing his throat. "I didn't know what to say, what could I possibly even say to that? Tell her how sorry I am, that I'm not that person anymore? Saying anything would've probably just made it worse, because the fact of the matter is, her brother is dead, and I am alive. What a joke."

"You never had to take other people's feelings into consideration when you were Alpha, the only person you lived for was yourself, right?"

"Yeah," Ash nodded his head, "mentally, I guess I separated Ash Ketchum from Alpha. Ash was dead in my mind, he wasn't responsible for the sins of Alpha, he died a fool, but a good person nonetheless. It was my way of rationalizing my atrocities, but Ash and Alpha are one, I am the sum of their actions."

"So, what's the plan going forward? Are you gonna be locked in your house the rest of your life, cause that's certainly one way to avoid running into more people whose lives you ruined." Paul really wasn't mincing words here. For the past year his friends, Dawn, Brock, Misty, Max, and May, hadn't been holding him accountable, looking to excuse his past transgressions.

'I understand that they're likely going easy on him because they feel responsible in creating the monster he was in Team Rocket, but coddling him only makes the situation worse.' Paul's thoughts were racing as he looked for an answer from Ash, but he was having difficulties coming up with a response.

"Listen," Paul continued, "May misses you, she's been worried sick since you left Kalos so abruptly, after that girl confronted you. She's trying to give you your space, but I honestly believe that's the last thing you need right now. You have may been pardoned of your crimes, but the longer you stay in this house, the more it will become your jail cell."

"So stop clipping your own wings and face the world head on damn it!" Paul slammed his fist into the table, "Do you want to lose May again? Don't you wanna be there when Dawn gives birth to my child?"

Paul sat hunched over in his seat as the veins in his head were pulsating, trying to get through to his friend. Ash's eyes widened as much as they could as he looked at the purple haired trainer.

"Dawn's pregnant?"

"Yeah, she is."

"I can't believe it…Kenny is gonna make one hell of a father."

Paul nearly jumped out of his chair as he tried his best to restrain himself, "One of these days Ketchum, one of these days."

"Congrats buddy," Ash extended his hand out, "I'm really happy for you, for both of you. Two of my best friends having a kid together, I'm glad you guys were able to work everything out."

"Yeah, it's definitely a lot easier when I don't have to see her on every magazine cover sucking face with some loser from Pallet Town," Paul glared at Ash, referencing the kiss him and Dawn shared during the tournament.

Ash quickly averted his gaze and chugged the rest of his drink, "Man this water sure is spicy today huh haha."

Paul just smirked as he shook his head, "You know, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but May is in Kanto right now."

"What? Doesn't she have a big contest coming up in Sinnoh? What the hell is she doing here?"

"Don't be an idiot, you know why she's here. Stop being such a burden to her and be honest with yourself, do you not want to be with her?"

Ash opened his mouth to speak but stopped himself, the things that he needed to say had to be said to her. "Where is she?"

"She's staying at the Viridian City Hotel, room 257. Now go, and try not to make too much of an ass of yourself."

Ash nodded his head as he grabbed his jacket and hat, running out the door and heading straight to her. No Pokémon dare impede his way as he swiftly followed the path from Pallet to Viridian, even Youngster Joey with his 99th percentile rattata stayed clear of the raven haired trainer.

It wasn't long until Ash stood right at the entrance of the hotel, his years of conditioning with Team Rocket helping him reach his destination without breaking a sweat. He swiftly entered, keeping his head down to avoid any recognition, and with a million thoughts racing inside his head, he found himself at the doorstep of room 257.

'It's now or never,' Ash thought to himself as he knocked on her door.

Time seemingly slowed down for the young trainer as he stood in front of the door. The uncertainty that was within him grew exponentially with each passing second, the weight of his anxiety was crushing him. He suddenly found it difficult to breathe, feeling a sharp pain he clutched at his chest as he hunched over, his vision blurring, and then starting to go dark.

'What is wrong with me…What the hell am I even doing here?'

"Ash?"

Her voice. 'Oh yeah, that's why.'

Ash stood up, straightening himself out of his folded over position, and caught her gaze.

"May."

For a moment, only silence filled the space between them, as nothing, and everything was being communicated between the two, as their eyes locked onto each other. A look of concern sprawled about her face, and a slightly frown on his.

"I'm sorry, sorry for leaving you in Kalos so abruptly," Ash broke eye contact, staring off to the side. "When that girl confronted me about my past, how my actions caused her and her brother such pain…I ran, just like I've been running for the past four years now."

For what Ash was going to say next, he felt as though he had to be staring directly into her eyes. "I'm irredeemable May. I can't be forgiven, nor do I want to be, I've hurt too many people. How long have I been holding you back now? Whether it was while I was working for Team Rocket, or now, where I'm as fragile as a god damn piece of glass? Let me go May Maple, you deserve so much better."

"So after everything that's happened, from the tournament to taking down Team Rocket with you, I'm supposed to just let you go? Do you really think it would be that easy?" May asked.

"No, I don't expect it to be, especially when you're so obviously in love with me," hearing him say it so bluntly and callously made her tense up.

"I know we haven't really discussed our relationship, and I appreciate the space and time you've given me. I'm not trying to take your feelings for granted, it's why I'm being as straightforward as I possibly can."

"Ash," Without any hesitation, May stepped towards him, removing any distance between the two, and pressed her lips against his. She wanted him to feel everything she could possibly convey in a deep and long kiss, her pain, her sadness, and her undying love for him. With one arm wrapped around his waist, and the other on the back of his head, she had to show him what he meant to her.

Once the kiss ended, and their faces moved slightly apart, she looked him in the eyes once more, touching the scar on her arm. "I know what it's like, to feel as fragile as you do now. During those three years, just hearing your name was like a dagger to my heart. People would come up to me and give their condolences, and for the days that followed I wouldn't even be able to find the energy to get out of bed. I hated myself, how weak I was, and honestly, I even began to hate you. Ridiculous, right?"

Ash shook his head, he understood completely. May continued, "I hated how much you meant to me, how deep my feelings for you flowed. I wanted to forget you, I wanted to let you go and leave you in the past, I couldn't live my own life while clinging on to the memories of a dead man. Yet, when I encountered Alpha at the tournament, that was the first time since your supposed passing that I thought I could move on. I mean, how could I not fall for a man so crass, who disrespected my friends on a daily basis, and had an immense fetish for black clothing."

Ash couldn't help but chuckle and cringe, remembering how edgy he used to try and be.

"God what the hell was I thinking," May laughed at herself. "But through all of that, you came back. Maybe not for me, but you're back, you're alive, and that's what matters now. I know you did horrible things while part of Team Rocket, I know you'll never be able to forgive yourself, but you've forgiven me for my sins, so the least I can do is be by your side and help you work through yours."

May took a deep breath, she had laid everything she had on the line, there was only one more thing she had to confront. "I love you, Ash Ketchum. Tell me you don't feel the same way. Say that, and I'll let you go."

May had given him so much to digest, all those words that he knew came directly from her heart. He may have known before, but standing by her, he could feel the love she felt for him radiating off of her. He felt warm, secure, and happy. All of those feelings mixed together, only made his resolve for what he was about to say that much stronger.

"I don't love you."

The dagger. Those four words pierced through her heart as she felt her legs get weak, and her knees nearly buckling beneath her. Looking at the man she loved, she knew her eyes would begin to water, that tears would start to fall down her cheeks, and she couldn't let him see her like that. So just as he had before, she ran.

Running away from him, down the stairs, and out of the hotel as grey clouds lined the sky. As a stream of tears followed her steps, all the raven haired trainer could do was stand in that hotel hallway, and ponder if he had done the right thing.

So lost in his own thoughts, he completely let his guard down. So much so that he didn't hear the other woman sharing that hotel room storm out from it, and slap him directly across the face.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?"

Ash nearly fell to the floor as the stinging sensation made him wince. He had no idea she had come to Kanto with May as well.

"Dawn?"

"That girl has been worried sick about you! And then after all this you show up just to break her heart, you think that was the right thing to do?" Ash had never seen Dawn so furious. Her face was red with anger, and he could tell she was restraining herself from slapping him again.

"It's for the best Dawn, everyone will be happier this way."

"Yeah, listening into your guys' conversation, I could tell just how happy May was. Tears of joy as she skipped on out of here, is that right?"

Ash could only grin and bear it as Dawn's verbal lashing was just as bad as her physical one.

"And what about you? You sure seem really happy lying to that poor girl."

"I wasn't lying, Dawn."

Dawn got up in Ash's face as she furrowed her brow, "You might not be the same Ash I knew four years ago, life has changed you in so many different ways. Yet, the only time I really see the old you, your laugh, your warm smile, all of that only ever comes out when you're with her. You love her Ash, and she loves you."

Ash had been subdued during all of this, trying to keep his cool and not say the things he really wanted to. But Dawn's words were the final straw as he slammed his fist into the wall, overcome with emotions.

"So what if I love her, huh? What does that matter, I'm a cancer Dawn! That's what you, May, and everyone else can't seem to understand. Everywhere I go I'm overwhelmed by anxiety, worried that I'm going to run into another person whose life I've ruined." Dawn had been so caught up in her own life, contests and her relationship with Paul, that she never noticed just how much pain Ash was truly in.

Ash continued, "Now that I'm "back from the dead", I'm only causing May even more problems. How can she focus on her life and her future, when I'm so lost in my own past. It's better this way, Dawn."

The toll this past year had taken on her old friend was clear the more she looked at him. The dark bags under his eyes, his pale skin, had she really been so blind? No, she wanted so badly for things to go back to normal, to leave Alpha and everything associated with him in the past, that she pretended to not notice all the signs that were right in front of her.

"You know for a while," Dawn's anger had subsided as she spoke softly, "I kind of thought similar things about Paul. Anytime our paths would cross, I thought of him as a burden, a cancer to myself, you, and Brock. The way he would prod you and make you question yourself, I wouldn't go so far as to say that I hated him, but I certainly hated what he stood for. Yet for whatever reason, I never did write him off, though god knows I wanted to slap him across his smug face almost as hard as I slapped yours."

"Almost as hard?"

"Not the point," Dawn quickly replied, seeing her handprint glowing red on Ash's cheek. "As much as I loathed him, I knew there something underneath that rough exterior. It took years for him to finally let his guard down with me, now I can freely run my fingers through his purple hair, and not feel his body tense up as I do. He's changed so much, and I'm so unbelievably proud of him."

"What I'm trying to say through all of this, is that change doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes, people need a second, a third, however many chances it may take to set things right. Now, I'm not saying everyone deserves an infinite amount of chances, but some people are truly worth the effort. You've done horrible things Ash, but your past doesn't define your future. Find a way to set things right to the best of your abilities, and take that first step by chasing after May and apologizing to her."

Ash paused stood speechless as Dawn's soft words had eased his mind. He had been running from his sins for so long, maybe it was time to try a different approach.

"You know, you're going to make a great mother, you know that Dawn?"

Dawn's face went red as she began to panic, "Paul told you already!? I haven't even told my own mother yet!"

Ash laughed as the mood of the hallway eased, "Yeah, though unconventional it may be, you, Paul, and Conway will make for a great trio of parents."

Dawn raised her fist in anger as she glared at her old friend, "One of these days Ash, one of these days."

Ash smirked as he looked towards the stairs, "My life is filled with so many uncertainties right now, but you are right Dawn, I have to chase after her. Thanks, I needed that verbal, and literal slap."

"Anytime!" Dawn said with a cheeky grin and her finger pointed at his face.

Ash didn't hesitate to bolt into a full on sprint out of the hotel, at this point not caring if he was recognized. As he stepped out into the open air, he could feel droplets of rain hitting his back, gray clouds lining the sky as he looked around, hoping to catch a glimpse of that red bandana.

Unable to see her in his line of sight, he resorted to different means. Taking a deep breath and concentrating only on himself, he closed his eyes and placed his open palm against the ground, using his aura to try and sense her presence. After a few seconds passed, he could feel the life force of someone a half a mile deep into the Viridian forest, and concluded that it had to be her.

As Ash raced into the forest and headed in May's direction, the weather began to take a turn for the worst. The flash of lightning and the clapping of thunder came one after another time and time again, the rain was relentless as well, drenching the young man as his usual spiky hair was beaten down by the water. Yet, he persisted on, he had to see her, he had to make things right.

After nearly slipping into puddle of mud, completely out of breath, Ash finally reached his destination. Though it was difficult to see with such horrendous weather conditions, her soaking wet brown hair and red attire was unmistakable. Seemingly unfazed by the rain, May was sat at the base of a large oak tree, leaned back against it and lost in her own thoughts.

Ash could see the water pouring down her face, and wondered if any of it were tears he caused. Nonetheless, he approached the young woman, the sound of his wet footsteps alerting her of his presence.

She didn't turn her head to look at him, nor even utter a single word, she just sat there as Ash approached her. The young trainer as well said nothing as he made his way to the base of the tree, and sat down on the other side of her, leaning his back against it as well.

Minutes passed and nothing was said between the young couple, perhaps they didn't know what to say to one another, or maybe it was them just taking in the rain filled moment. Finally taking the initiative, Ash began to speak.

"I was pretty selfish earlier, I understand that now. I confessed all my sins, pushed you away, and made you cry. I don't ever want to make you cry again. I wanted so badly for things to go back to the way they were before I joined Team Rocket, but trying to live that lie has only done harm to you, and to me."

"Ash, please, no more."

Hearing her words so devoid of emotion stung him deep, but he had to keep pressing forward. "I meant it when I said that you deserve so much better, I don't deserve you as I am now."

May's head hung lower, hearing him say those words, but raised back up ever so slightly hearing what he said next.

"But that doesn't mean I won't deserve you in the future. I refuse to just keep over and die! My mother and brother didn't die just for me to waste this second chance I've been given. I have to do something to right the wrongs!"

At this point, Ash forcefully pushed himself off the tree, and went to the other side of the tree, kneeling down and taking May's hands in his, as their eyes were locked onto each other's.

"Damn it May Maple, I love you. I love you with every fiber, every ounce of my being, since the day I met you I never wanted anyone else but you. Life has taken us through so many twists and turns, and yet you have been the one constant in my life. But, I can't call you mine, not yet. I swear on my life that I will get there, I promise you that. I just don't know how."

May's expression turned to one of joy, but also of pain as she squeezed her hands tightly around his. "You know, I don't think I ever realized just how sad your eyes looked until now. You must have been experiencing an immense pain, and you held it all in as atonement for your sins, right? That's why you've been so close to me, yet so distant at the same time."

Ash said nothing, but merely nodded in agreement. "I guess some blame lies at my feet too. There were times where I could see the pain written on your face, and yet I didn't want to prod too deeply. Partly because I wanted to give you your space, but also because doing so would have meant confronting the reality that things weren't the same, and that they may never be."

"Believe me May, you're the last person that needs to be taking any blame."

"I appreciate your kind words, but I know I could've done more. The past is the past though, and I see now that there's only so much I can do to help you on your path to redemption. Talking like this though, finally being open with each other has given me an idea as to how you may find some way to atone for your sins."

Ash furrowed his brow, "What do you mean?"

"Ash, you have a remarkable gift, your aura power, it may have been cultivated by Team Rocket, but there's so much good you can do with it now. Use what you've learned and help people and Pokémon alike, become a Pokémon Ranger."

May held her breath as she looked at Ash's blank expression, waiting for any sort of response. What she got was Ash swinging his head back as laughter poured out of his mouth.

May pouted as her face blushed red with embarrassment, "I didn't think it was that bad of an idea."

Ash had to take a deep breath and clear his throat after his fit of laughter, "No no it's not that it's a bad idea, I just kind of…hmm how do I say this. Let's just say I crossed paths with them once or twice while part of Team Rocket, and I don't think they're too thrilled with me."

"Was it really that bad?"

"Well, I wouldn't think it irredeemable, but I imagine the response I'd get from them would be lukewarm at best, piping hot at worst."

"Don't forget that we do have a connection with the rangers, remember Jack Walker? Surely you haven't ruined your relationship with him, have you?"

Ash paused for a moment as he recalled his encounters with the rangers, "I don't believe I've seen him since the whole manaphy affair now that I think about it."

May's eyes gleamed with excitement, "See! There's one ranger you haven't pissed off! Plus, I think I still have his number! Though it's been ages since we last spoke, I know that I can put in a good word for you."

As hilarious the idea sounded at first, the more Ash thought about it, the more it really started to grow on him. "I really could do a lot of good with the rangers, couldn't I? These aura powers of mine have only have ever been used in the name of Team Rocket, but they don't own them, those shackles are gone. I love that idea May, I think it's exactly what I've been looking for."

At that moment, May felt a warm, budding sensation that she hadn't felt in years. She was truly optimistic about the future. "But, if I join the rangers," Ash began to say, bringing her back to reality, "we'll be a part for months at a time. Being a ranger is a fulltime commitment."

"I understand. I know that there will be days where I'll look to my side and expect you to be there with a snide remark, only for you to be absent, and there will be nights where I'll look up at the stars and the moon and wondering if we're looking at the same sky. But this is the path you need to take Ash, and it is one that I support you with wholly and completely."

Ash was speechless, he couldn't muster up a single word as just felt so unbelievably lucky to have someone like May in his life. Tears of happiness streamed down his face as May moved her finger to wipe them off his face.

"It's raining so hard right now, I'd almost accuse you of crying," May said with a cheeky grin.

Ash just smirked as he sat himself next to May, wrapping his arm around her waist as she relaxed her head on his shoulder. "You wanna head back to the hotel, we're gonna catch a cold if we stay out in this weather."

"Let's stay for just a little longer, I don't ever want to forget this feeling."

Thank you for reading. I realize it's a bit silly to be adding an epilogue eight years+ after the fact but damn it, I couldn't not wrap it up in a more succinct way. I wasn't happy with how Ash got off so scot-free in the end, but I also didn't want to do a complete overhaul of the fanfic, as I wanted to keep the general overarching story intact. It's also why while I did touch up a lot of the chapters, especially the first 20 or so, I kept a lot in that I certainly wouldn't do nowadays. Teenage me had a different writing style so to speak. I also recently watched Fruits Basket for the first time, so you may notice some similarities between this chapter and a confession from that show!

Am I crazy for wanting to write a sequel to this fic after all these years, after I've been against it for so long? Following Ash as a ranger and his adventures has been something I've been toying with for the past month or so. I'm leaning more towards yes, but if I do, I will not post anything until I at least have ten chapters written, I refuse to have another fic go on hiatus. But we'll see :)

Oh, if you have the time check out chapter 23, completely new. Regardless, I hope you liked it, let me know what you think, it has been ages and I'm pretty much a dinosaur on this site. But I'd still like to hear from ya c: