"So the Prisoner of Azkaban?" Sirius asked while waggling his eyebrows. "Is this where I break out to finally make the Dursleys pay and get Harry away from those people?"

"In your delusional dreams," Bellatrix said. "I'm still misguided about Riddle, and I've obviously broken out of Azkaban to gain my unholy revenge over Harry."

"As if," Sirius said.

"Oh, like you would make it a minute in Azkaban."

"As if you would either!"

"Two of the noble members of the ancient and noble house of black, bickering like children," Daphne said.

"Are they normally like this?" Astoria asked.

"Only when they have way too much time on their hands," Andromeda said. "Alright, settle down you two."

"He/She started it."

Andromeda gave them the look and they calmed down, a little bit.

"Honestly," Regulus grumbled. "Can we begin?"

"Chapter One" Gideon read. "Owl Post."

"Okay, that seems harmless enough," Lena said.

"Far cry from the Worst Birthday," Astra said. "I don't think anything can be worse than that."

"Oh, we'll have to see about that," Lita said.

"Must you rain on my parade?" Astra asked.

"Alright, Gideon, read," Ava said urgently.

Harry is up in the dead of night doing his homework. Which just happens to be an essay on the futility of witch burnings.

"Utter nonsense, that," Lily said. "No actual witches got burned."

"Well, I almost got burned," Sara said. "It's a long story."

"Aren't they all?" Kara teased.

"Still, no witches got burned," Harry said. "And that was your fault romancing women in extremely puritan times."

Sara just stuck out her tongue.

"Oh, yes, the witch burnings," Junior said. "A lovely event. It was a bunch of neighbors who took out their grudges against each other and started to burn each other. Occasionally an actual wizard was captured. But not often."

"It's awful," Remus murmured.

"Muggles," Regulus said while shaking his head. "Honestly, this is why the Dark Lord's gotten as far as he had…."

"I don't want to hear a single word about him, Reggie," Bellatrix said.

Wisely, Regulus shut his mouth.

As Harry writes his essay, he muses that the Dursleys would likely lock him in the cupboard with his things if they hear him.

"Oh, you're exaggerating," Percy said.

"He's not," Astra said. "And you have to bring up that infernal cupboard."

"Petunia's really going to get on my nerves again, isn't she?" Lily asked.

"Petunia doesn't do much this summer," Harry said.

"Astra, is there something you want to share with us?" Natalie asked.

"Later," Astra said.

During the last break, Astra made a point of avoiding her mother and Lily. John had been giving her a side-eye this entire time.

"End of the chapter, I promise," Astra said.

"I won't forget," Natalie said.

"She really won't," Severus said.

"That's for bloody sure," John said.

"Not looking forward to that one, are you?" Mick asked.

"Wow, you are brighter than people give you credit for," a surly John replied.

Mick just grumbled in response.

"Okay, ladies, break it up," Sara said.

Recap of what kind of charming people the Dursleys are. How they lock up all of Harry's things and forbid him to talk to the neighbors.

"That's ridiculous" Percy said

"These are some ridiculous people," George said.

"You know what we had to do the summer before," Fred said. "Remember the bars on the window that we found?"

Percy swallowed for a second.

"I could have sworn Dumbledore was supposed to have a talk with these people," Kate said.

"Well, that's what he told Mum," Ron said.

"Oh, yes, good talk, Dumbledore, really good talk," Kate said.

"I swear I get treated better when I'm in prison than this," Mick said. "If you would have set their house on fire with them in it, no one would have blamed you."

"I'm sure Harry would have blamed himself if something would have happened to them," Daphne said. "Even if they are generally awful people."

"I should have petitioned harder for your custody," Andromeda said. "Dumbledore kept blocking me."

"I appreciate your effort," James said.

"I do too," Harry said.

After Natalie almost got away with Harry, Harry figured that Dumbledore must have called in a few favors to make sure Harry remained at the Dursleys. Which mean, even if Sirius managed to have his name cleared, Harry wondered if Dumbledore would allow him to go there.

Harry has to do his summer homework. Especially the one about shrinking potions for Snape. Who would delight in giving Harry detention for a month.

"Oh, you don't say?" Fred asked.

"I did say," Harry said.

"Oh, I remember that essay," Daphne said. "Nasty is the word for it."

"Summer homework…ugh, for once I'm glad I go to public school," Lita said.

"Me too," Ruby said.

"It's not like the teachers really grade it anyway," Kate said a shrug.

"Just more to make sure you don't forget everything that you've learned the previous year," Junior said. "How well that works….well, your mileage varies greatly there."

Daphne just smiled knowingly and Hermione shook her head. The twins cackled.

Naturally, Harry sneaks his things out of his cupboard, while Vernon was loudly bragging about his car when the neighbors heard him.

"Just a little louder Vernon, I don't think they heard you across the pond," Zari said.

"I've never really laid eyes on a more insufferable person in my life," Malfoy said.

"So, do you make a habit of avoiding mirrors, cousin dearest?" Tonks asked.

Tonks and Kate fist-bumped and Malfoy scowled in response.

"Ah, he's pouting," Bellatrix cooed. "He gets that from Lucius."

"Snobbish asshole posturing at its finest," Mia said while rolling her eyes. "Blatantly rubbing it in everyone's faces that they don't have the means."

"That's Privet Drive for you," Astra said. "I don't…miss that place."

"Astra?" Natalie asked.

"Fine," Astra said. "We lived there. Next door from Harry. For five years."

"We…are you serious?" Natalie asked.

"Hi!" Sirius yelled. "Damn it Peter, that was my head."

Peter just offered a look of faux innocence.

"Hey, no violence," Sara said.

"Sorry, Captain Lance," Peter said.

"What about the guy who you hit?" Sirius asked.

"Well, if I cause you harm for something you didn't deserve, I will apologize," Peter said.

"He's got you there," James said with a chuckle.

"We moved in when Harry was five," Astra explained. "It took us a long time to get over there. The Ministry was blocking people coming into the country for the longest time."

"Oh, they were," Andromeda confirmed.

"Why didn't we take him straight away?" Natalie asked.

"Ministry made things very difficult," Andromeda said.

"And by Ministry, you mean Dumbledore, right?" Natalie asked. "But, Harry's still there…why didn't he…"

Natalie blinked for a second.

"You died on Harry's tenth birthday in a car accident," Astra said. "You were about ready to sign the papers to transfer custody officially and Dumbledore ran out of options. It was…a drunk…."

"Are we sure it was a drunk?" Sirius asked. "Because, that seems kind of fishy."

"We went over this a million times, but yes, it was just a senseless accident, a freak accident," Andromeda said. "Although, what happened next gave Dumbledore all of the reasoning he needed to put Harry back at the Dursleys for his own safety."

John shifted and Natalie caught his eye.

"What did you do, you git?" Natalie asked.

"Uh, Nat, can this wait until after the chapter is over?" John asked. "Because, we're trying to learn about Harry and I think…."

"We really should," Harry said.

"Ooooh," Kara grumbled.

Astra shifted. Well the cat was going to come out of the bag.

"I can't believe a drunk driver fucked over my son," James said. "Just some random asshat."

"That's Harry's luck in a nutshell," Sara said grimly.

Harry muses how he's in trouble with the Dursleys after receiving a phone call from a fellow wizard.

Ron looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

"Oh, this is going to be bad, isn't it?" Lena asked.

"Yes," Lita said. "It's that's bad."

"Harry, I didn't know I was going to get you in trouble," Ron said. "I'm really sorry."

"I should have known, but I didn't," Harry said.

"Magical people with technology," Zari said. "Well, this always ends well."

"Not really," Junior said.

Ron calls Harry on the phone. While shouting. And then Vernon shouts back.

"Well, fuck," Kate murmured.

"Oh, honey, you shouldn't have shouted," Charlotte said.

"I got that, thanks," Ron said.

"To be fair, Vernon shouting just as loud did not help with Ron's understanding," Hermione said. "Honestly, he's…."

"A pig?" Astoria asked.

"One of the nicest things I could call him, yes," Hermione said.

"Oh, I've called him far worse," Astra said.

"That's unsurprising," Lena said.

Afterwards, Vernon yells at Harry for giving this number to people like him.

"One of these days, he's going to have a stroke," Ruby said. "That level of anger, it's not healthy."

"Sweetie, don't threaten me with a good time," Astra said.

Astra really wished that Vernon had died before she left Hell so she could get ahold of him. The bastard was still kicking, somehow.

"Harry, I didn't really know," Ron said.

"You've apologized a billion times since then," Harry said.

"Well, here's a billion and one," Ron said. "You don't deserve the flack from those Muggles."

Harry muses that if Hermione called, she would have to avoid saying she went to Hogwarts.

"Um, not sure how I would have gotten him to let you on the phone," Hermione said sheepishly.

"You've got nothing?" Lena asked.

"I don't do well dealing with irrational people," Hermione said. "And Ron did give me the heads up. Although, I thought you might have written the number down wrong."

"Sorry, but no," George said.

"Well, it could have gone worse," Sara said.

"Tell me how?" Ron asked.

"I don't know, but it could have," Sara responded with a shrug.

"With Harry's luck, it really could," Zari said.

Harry finishes his essay. And realizes it's his birthday. And how he never really enjoyed his birthdays

Astra put her arm around Harry. Natalie and Lily looked quizzical.

"Dumbledore wiped his memories of those five years," Kara said somberly.

"HE DID WHAT?"

It was not Natalie or Lily who exploded, although they were angry. James was the one who lost his mind. Peter, Remus, and Sirius all scooted away, out of the blast zone.

"Albus Dumbledore wiped Harry's memories," Percy murmured in shock. "Five years worth of….no."

Now Percy did not know what to believe. But, he had to consider all possibilities. And if Dumbledore messed with Harry's mind, then maybe he was being messed with in other ways. Maybe this entire You-Know-Who thing was Harry being used as a pawn by Dumbledore.

Maybe he was a bit harsh with Harry.

"Memories!" Bellatrix spat. "Are a sacred thing."

"Doesn't stop us from memory-charming Muggles left and right," Kate said.

"Maybe not, but still for a wizard to do that to another wizard, no matter what the circumstances….Lockhart was awful for doing it and Dumbledore does this to a child who is supposed to be your hero," Bellatrix said.

"I didn't know…the memories were gone," Andromeda said. "I didn't see Harry until much later on and as far as I knew, Astra was dead instead of…."

"Instead of what?" Natalie asked.

"Later," Tonks said worriedly.

"Keep reading," Ava said.

Oh, Ava really was not looking forward to this confrontation. She looked at Zari, Mick, and Sara, and all of them looked apprehensive.

Lily and Natalie were fuming, but the Marauders looked pissed. And even Severus Snape, quiet as he may be, just tutted in disapproval.

"That's not right," Neville murmured.

He had been silent up to that point and finally reminded people he was here.

Later that night, Harry notices Hedwig arrive with a Hogwarts postal owl, half carrying the limp body of the Weasley family owl Errol.

"The damn owl is still breathing," Sirius murmured. "Unbelievable."

"Poor thing should be retired," Nora said.

"No kidding, I'm surprised it keeps on going," Astoria said.

"You and us both," George said.

"You could have borrowed Hermes," Percy said.

"I didn't think you would let me," Ron said coolly.

"At this point, that damn owl might outlive Arthur," James said.

Here, Ron, Fred, and George closed their eyes, but returned the conversation.

More owls arrive. Three to be in fact.

"Well, well, well, that's interesting," Lita said.

"Things are changing from the Rowling books," Nora added.

"And thankfully more later on," Kate said.

"Rowling books?" Percy asked.

"Harry sold the stories of his adventures to a squib named Rowling," Sara explained. "She published the books as children fantasy novels for children. Of course later on we all learned that Harry was real."

"After many of us read the books as children," Lita said.

"That's breaking Ministry law," Percy said with a scowl.

"Oh, not really," Hermione said."Although it's uncomfortable when people come up to the street and know who you are."

And Hermione dealt with a couple of obsessive stalkers who thought she was like Emma Watson. But, that was an entirely other problem.

Harry opens the card sent with Errol. A letter falling out, and then a newspaper clipping.

"And here we go," Ron murmured to Harry and Hermione.

Little did they know, one picture would set the stage for an entire year worth of events.

An article describes Arthur Weasley winning the Daily Prophet Annual Prize Draw and the fact they were going to Egypt to visit their oldest son, Bill.

"You blew all of the money on this trip, didn't you?" Regulus asked.

"Well, after the last year, we needed a vacation," Ron said. "To get away from it all."

"Makes perfect sense to me," Zari said.

"I would want to get away from that all as well," Daphne said.

"We did, didn't we?" Astoria asked. "The trip to Norway."

"Oh, yeah, that was fun," Daphne said.

Ron's letter where he apologizes for the phone call. His day reckons he shouldn't have shouted.

"You don't say?" Zari asked.

"I did say," Ron said.

"Well,at least you got there, eventually, Weasley," Malfoy said.

Good news, in Ron getting a new wand.

"About time," Astra said.

"Yeah, I know," Ron agreed.

"The fact you didn't blow yourself up before the Whomping Willow with that thing, is remarkable," Daphne said.

"Oh, I don't know," Kara said. "It's even more remarkable he didn't blow himself up."

"Only Lockhart's brains," Nora said.

"Hitting such a small target is remarkable," Junior said.

Percy blinked suddenly It just finally set him that he was sitting in the same room with the younger version of the son of his former boss, Mr. Crouch.

Well, that could get awkward.

Ron asks if Harry's going to be in London and gives him some uplifting words about the Dursleys.

"I try not to let them get me down," Harry said.

"They just make it exceedingly difficult by being their charming selves," Tonks said.

"So, how did you plan on getting to London if not for…." Lita asked. "Spoilers, I know."

"We'll get there, when we get there," Sara said.

Oh and Percy's Head Boy.

"As if his head couldn't get any more swollen," Bellatrix murmured.

"I'm in the room!" Percy snapped.

"I'm aware of that," Bellatrix said. "Oh, the big-bad monster isn't going to attack me because I'm a prefect! Honestly, could your head be more inflated?"

"Enough, Bella," Andromeda told her sister.

Percy just cringed. Oh, that was arrogant, that comment. He could not help and think that Murphy screwed Penelope over big time because he made that comment. Although they broke up, because Penelope took Harry's side and said that Percy was garbage for taking part in the character slander of a teenager boy.

Given what Percy learned about the memory wipe thing, maybe she had a point.

"Nice little afterthought," Sara said with a chuckle.

"Almost as if you're ashamed of Percy," Lena said.

"Oh, it wasn't anything against him," Ron said. "It just Mum's gushing got on my nerves. And it was another reason for me to feel inadequate compared to my brothers."

"Ron, you shouldn't have…you shouldn't have," Fred said.

"I don't know," Ron said.

"I never meant for you to feel that way," Percy said.

Ron said nothing. It was a long time ago.

Harry's gift from Ron is a Pocket Sneakoscope.

"Eh, I've got mixed feelings about those things," Regulus said.

"Sometimes they work out well," James said.

"But, you got to know what you're looking for," Junior said. "Kind of like the Remembrall. Useless if you can't remember what you've forgotten."

Neville nodded. That was his experience.

Hermione's letter came with Hedwig, who showed up when Hermione was trying to figure out how to get Harry's gift to Harry.

"Hedwig to the rescue!" Ruby cheered.

"Isn't she always?" Zari asked.

"Pretty reliable companion for being in that dismal place," Tonks added.

"So, what were you going to do if Hedwig didn't show up?" Kate asked Hermione.

"Good question," Hermione said.

"It's almost like she sensed that you were going to have trouble, and lent you a wing," Kara said with a chuckle.

"She was always smarter than a lot of people," Harry said.

"Damning the poor bird with faint praise, given some of the winners you had to deal with over the years," Ron said.

Hermione gushes about all of the magical history she's learned. Her essay is two rolls longer than Binns asked for.

"Slow your roll, Granger," Daphne said while rolling her eyes.

"Hermione, honey, that was supposed to be a holiday," Charlotte said.

Come to think of it, that was the last time which Charlotte really had a chance to spend time with her daughter, before the memory wipe.

"Binns doesn't read anything you write anyway," Sirius said.

"Did you figure that out before or after you drew pictures of troll penises all over the parchment and somehow still got an Exceeds Expectations?" James asked.

"Well, have you seen Sirius's artwork?" Remus asked. "Anything above scribbles exceeds expectations."

"Oi, what is this, pick on Sirius day?" Sirius asked.

"No, that's next Wednesday," Bellatrix said cheekily.

"Ghost teacher is useless, how would he even grade papers?" Mia asked. "Actually, this is the same problem about ghosts receiving letters from the last book."

"Harry knows," Nora said.

"And I'm not telling you, because it's not meant to be known by mortals," Harry said.

"Ahh, come on, Dad, just a little hint?" Kate asked.

"I've been trying to get it out of him for years," Sara said. "Good luck."

Harry just smiled.

Hermione remarks Ron doesn't seem too happy about Percy being Head Boy.

"Can't think of anything off hand what might give you that idea," Mia said.

"No, nothing at all, not a clue," Zari said.

"It wasn't Percy, it was just the fact I had something else to live up to," Ron said.

"We know, we know," Fred said.

Hermione's present is a broomstick servicing kit. And Harry is impressed.

"Oh, that's a kick arse gift," Regulus said. "Very practical."

"Although they do knut and sickle you on the broomstick polish refills," James said.

"Don't I know it," Kate grumbles.

"Glad you liked it," Hermione said. "I figured you wouldn't appreciate another book."

Harry thinks back about how much he misses Quidditch.

"Oooh, don't we all during those summer months," George said wistfully.

"Best sport in the world," Astra said with a smile.

"It has its moments," Lily said.

"Just its moments?" James asked.

"Don't be modest, Lils, James isn't the only one who gives Harry his flying talent," Natalie said.

"You fly as well?" Kate asked in surprise.

"Well, I don't think I would play Quidditch, but I do enjoy flying," Lily said. "Although I've flown without a broom."

"It's true," Severus said.

Harry opened the next letter and it was from Beatrice Haywood.

Happy Birthday, Harry,

Saw this bag and thought of you. Figures it would be a pretty good replacement for the one that the dwarf ripped last year. Hope you're having a nice summer. Don't get into too much trouble. See you at Hogwarts.

Beatrice.

Harry looked upon the bag and smiled. He enjoyed the gift.

"Oooh, nice," Zari said.

"Very nice," Mia agreed. "That bag looks like it can take a pounding."

"It could," Harry said. "It lasted me through the rest of my time at Hogwarts."

"So, she's thinking of you, mmm?" Astra asked.

"Yes, she is," Harry said.

"She was the first one, wasn't she?" Astra asked.

"Well, you're going to have to find out with everyone else," Harry said.

"I don't know, there's many women who might have a say about that," Sara said.

"I can't figure out whether you're a lucky bastard or an unfortunate one," Sirius said.

"A little bit of Column A, a little bit of Column B," Lena suggested. "Harry's been on both sides of that."

"You don't say," Kate murmured.

"That was nice of her," Tonks said. "Beatrice has been through a lot."

"And I put her through even more, just by being me," Harry murmured.

"That wasn't your fault," Tonks told him with a firm squeeze of his shoulder.

"What?" Astra asked.

"You'll find out with the rest of us," Lita said. "None of this was in the books."

"Yeah, she was cut," Nora said. "Remember?"

"Although, they put her back for the game," Ruby said.

"They did, although she was in a lot better place mentally by that time," Harry said.

"You haven't talked to her lately, have you?" Lena asked.

"I've spoken to her a couple of times," Harry said. "But no more than just cordial greetings, asking how everyone's doing."

"So, she's still out there," Kara murmured.

"Not sure if it's a spoiler, but it's not a big deal if Harry can get around it," Sara said.

Daphne sends Harry a book about the history of Parselmouths around the world and a book of gift certificates for FrostyTreats.

"The real way to a man's heart is through ice cream," Sirius said wistfully.

"Not just men," Kara said.

"No, not just men," Daphne agreed.

"Chocolate works out well, sometimes," Remus said.

"Chocolate does do wonders," Kate said.

"Great, now I'm hungry," Nora grumbled.

"I bet that Parseltongue book was interesting," Tonks said.

"Wish I would have had it last year," Harry said. "Although, I doubt many people could read it."

"Actually, I'm not sure if anyone could read that book, except those who have the gift," Daphne said. "Mum found it in the attic and figured that you might read it."

"For all we know, Merlin could have been a Parselmouth," Sirius said.

"Courtney doesn't have that ability," Harry said.

"Wait, Courtney?" Peter asked.

"Oh, we're not opening up that can of worms right now," Sara said.

Sara and Harry exchanged smirks, but most of everyone else was lost to the inside joke.

Harry,

Hope you're enjoying your birthday. Sent you a couple of things. I'm currently dealing with a few things that popped up. But, I figured I'd send you this owl.

Remember, keep your eyes open and don't believe everything you're told.

Cassie.

Harry had two books. One was a book on dueling magic. The other was some rather durable robes which Cassie left a brief note that could withstand extreme cold and heat, and also repel some curses. But, don't rely on them completely.

"She shouldn't be encouraging you to get into trouble," Percy said.

"She wasn't encouraging Harry to get in trouble, she knew that trouble would find him," Kara said. "And she was right."

"Cassie had that same issue," Tonks said. "And all of the times she tried to be a normal Hogwarts student, it didn't take."

"Well, it's funny how we got her and Harry back to back," Lita said.

"Yeah, funny," Kate said. "Almost as if Dumbledore was dry-running how to deal with Harry."

Hermione would have said something that Kate was being absurd.

"You know something, you might have a point," Percy murmured.

"Wait, I agree with Percy?" Ron asked.

"Do we all agree with Percy?" Fred asked.

Percy just tutted. Still, Cassandra Jacobs and what happened at Hogwarts during her time, it looked really bad in hindsight. Especially given one student was killed in the Forbidden Forest and it was pretty much memory-holed by the general Wizarding public mere weeks later.

Next, Harry opens Hagrid's present, which is snapping at him.

"Oooh, Hagrid," Astra said through gritted teeth. "What are you up to now?"

Neville, Ron, Hermione, and Malfoy, who all took the class, winced. Harry just shook his head.

"Hagrid just being Hagrid," Harry said.

"Would have been useful to leave clear instruction on how to deal with the bloody menace," Malfoy murmured.

After the Acromantula, Hagrid was on thin ice with a lot of the group.

"He sends you a biting book," Lily said. "Of course he does."

"Well, it's a very useful book if you know how to tame it," Daphne said.

"At least it's not as useless as the Invisible Book of Invisibility," Junior said.

"Don't get started on that nonsense," Andromeda said.

While Harry is confident that Hagrid would not send him anything too dangerous, Hagrid has a skewed idea of what's dangerous.

"Oh, Dad, that's an understatement," Ruby said.

"Between the three-headed dog, the dragon, and the killer spiders, I can only imagine what Hagrid has in store," Lena said.

"Just wait," Mick said. "The worst might be to come."

"Oooh, fuck, Dad's right," Lita groaned.

"You have to quit teasing us about bad things," Astra said.

"Sorry, can't help it," Lita said.

"Not sure if that's worse…although the other thing might be," Nora murmured.

"Okay, we're getting dangerously close to spoilers, so you better watch it," Ava warned the group. "Although, not sure why he thought this would come in handy."

"Dumbledore put us all in danger again," Malfoy said.

"Your ego put you in danger, Malfoy," Hermione said.

"Spoilers, Granger," Malfoy said.

"Is Malfoy having an ego really a spoiler?" Astoria asked.

Everyone snickered in response.

It's the Monster of Book of Monsters and Harry has to chase it around the room.

"If that wakes up the Dursleys, that's going to be worse than Ron and the phone," Peter said dryly.

"By a whole lot," Harry agreed.

"Wonderful," Natalie said.

John realized that this chapter was running to the end, which meant he was going to have to tell everything. That was not going to be pleasant.

"Well, that's quite the sight," Kara said. "Hagrid, what are you thinking?"

"You're where I was with the dragon," Astra said.

Harry wrestles the book and clamps it shut with a belt while Hedwig and Errol watch.

"Crude, but it will do," Andromeda said. "Should have not sent you that one sight unseen."

"Yeah, can't really see you with a hook for a hand," Sara said. "No offense."

"I can't….ooh that's even awful to think about," Kara said. "If that thing tore Harry's hand off…"

"Oh don't worry, it's only playing," Ron said. "Just like Norbert. And Aragog, there's a good boy, who did nothing wrong."

"You're in quite the mood," Zari said.

"Just remembering Hagrid's poor judgment," Ron said.

Hagrid's letter suggests Harry might find the book useful.

"Okay, I read the books, so I know why," Nora said. "But, seriously, why?"

"A book that bites," Lena said.

"I suppose it could be worse," Sirius said. "Given what some magical creatures do."

"Still, it's a book that bites," Peter said. "That's pretty high up there with poor decisions that Hagrid's made."

"Dumbledore's giant folly," Malfoy murmured underneath his breath.

Harry gets a letter from Hogwarts. Hogsmeade permission slip is included.

"Okay, I really doubt that Vernon and Petunia let you go," Astra said. "No offense."

"Well, we got to make sure he does, somehow?" Sirius asked. "Anyone have any bright ideas."

"Torture?" Bellatrix suggested.

"Dumbledore or the Dursleys?" Lily asked.

"Yes," Bellatrix said.

"Lily, please don't encourage my cousin," Sirius breathed.

"Yeah, don't, just don't," Regulus said with a shudder.

"Minnie sent you the slip, even though she knew better," John said.

"She sent out a letter which had the cupboard on the stairs written on it as well," Astra said. "And I don't care what she says, she dropped the ball big time."

"The more I re-read, the more I agree," Kara said.

"The more I learn, the more I think there's no such thing as a competent adult in this world," Zari said.

"And I sadly agree," Lena said.

Harry wonders how he would get the Dursleys to sign the slip.

"Torture?" Bellatrix asked.

"Bella, enough," Andromeda said.

"I suppose blackmail could work as well," Tonks said.

"Nymphadora," Andromeda said reproachfully.

"Yes, it really could," Astoria said.

"No torture, no blackmail, please," Andromeda said.

"Yeah, about that," Harry said.

"You didn't?" Lily asked.

Lily did not know whether to be impressed or mortified. Sirius just chuckled.

"Alright, time for little Potter's balls to drop," Bellatrix said.

"Well, that's an image I didn't need," Regulus said.

Harry marks another day off of his calendar and is excited for the first time since he can remember that it's his birthday.

Astra deeply sighed.

"Remember, remember," Astra murmured. "Fucking Dumbledore."

"I was killed by the drunk asshole," Natalie said. "What happened next?"

"Maybe we should discuss the chapter, because it's over," John said.

"Chapter fine, Dursleys weren't involved, which is good, Harry got cool gifts, fun time had by all," Sara said. "You better tell her John, before I do."

John just sighed and everyone turned to him.

"You were dead. Astra was going to be sent away to live with her father."

"We don't talk about him," Astra murmured.

"And Harry was to go back to the Dursleys," John said.

"I was trying to stop that," Andromeda said. "Although, Dumbledore was going to work his magic and with the will missing, it was Dumbledore's word against mine. And Bagnold, and then Fudge, would not go against him."

"Typical Dumbledore," Nora murmured in disgust.

There were times where she wished she was Harry's fairy godmother when he was younger to sort his life out. Maybe in an alternative timeline, but not this one.

Harry and Astra decided to not bring up the point they were going to run away.

"I used magic to bring you back," John said.

"No magic can bring back the dead," Sirius said.

"Well, no magic that any sane person should use could, although it's still an illusion," John said. "I brought Natalie back, and she wasn't whole. But, those rituals, they could work, it's just…."

"I told you that kind of magic is dangerous," Natalie said. "You fly too close to the sun. And you used it to try and bring me back."

"I was arrogant, vain, and foolhearted," John said. "And desperate to prove myself right."

"And not thinking of the consequences the entire way," Harry added.

"Yes, I wasn't," John said. "That magic has a price to pay. And that price was Astra."

"I ended up in Hell because a demon abducted me," Astra said. "Harry saw it happen, and he could do nothing to stop me."

"MY DAUGHTER WAS SENT TO HELL BECAUSE OF YOUR ARROGANCE?" Natalie demanded.

"And Harry had to watch it," Lily said. "You put my son in danger as well."

Both Lily and Natalie were fuming. Things would get worse.

"When Dumbledore showed up, the only thing I could say was Astra is in Hell," Harry said.

"Which gave Dumbledore all the justification that Harry needed to wipe Harry's memories and send him back," John said. "And he said that if he ever caught me near Harry again, he would send me through the veil."

"No, that's too easy," Natalie said. "That's much too easy. You did…you could have thought about someone to yourself for once. Instead, Harry and Astra both had to suffer."

"Mum, I'm okay, everything worked out," Astra said.

"Astra's strong, just like you. She's a survivor and Harry is too so everything turned out well in the end. He's fine, Nat, he's done well for himself."

Oh, Harry knew, Astra knew, and the Marauders all knew, this was not going to end well for John. At all.

"HAVE YOU BEEN READING THE SAME BOOKS WE HAVE, JOHN CONSTANTINE! HARRY'S CHILDHOOD HAS BEEN ANYTHING BUT FINE!"

A loud crack echoed as Natalie nailed John in the face so hard that she broke her hand and busted up John's face. Blood and loosened teeth could be seen, along with a swelling around her eye. Natalie stormed off and Lily threw her hands into the air. James followed them both.

"I thought there was supposed to be no violence," John managed.

Needless to say, John's attempts to calm Natalie down did the exact opposite.

"From where I was sitting, that was a long time coming," Mick said. "Damn lucky she didn't cut off your nuts and feed them to you."

"Yeah, damn lucky," Sirius agreed while glaring at John.

"So, let's give everyone a minute to recover," Ava said. "From that."

"I need to talk to her," John said.

"That's a Hagrid sized bad idea," Bellatrix said.

"Well, that happened," Kara said.

"I know," Lena said. "Harry?"

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"He got off light, all things considered," Harry said.

"So, are we starting the next chapter without those three?" Sara asked.

Oh, Harry doubted their moods would improve during the next chapter, especially who was showing up at Number Four during the next chapter.

"Give them a bit," Zari said. "And then we can start."

"I agree," Ava said.

"Well, what a way to start a new book," Mia said.

To Be Continued.