Red Solo Cup
If the plan was to go through life alone, how cruel is it to give someone a heart?
I'm not the sort of person, who falls in and quickly out of love, but to you I gave my affection, right from the start
And if I have a lover, who loves me, how could I break such a heart
Yet still you get my attention right from the start
Sam was sitting waiting in his local airport, a red solo cup in hand, feeling sorry for himself, he'd spent four years saying goodbye to random hook-ups, and about a month ago he realised it was because… well because this song 'The Weakness In Me' by Keisha White was his life on loop right now. He thought he was doing the right thing for him, he was too young to be tied down, life was for living and he was up for all that living.
Flashback
The day he'd made his life changing decision had been like any other ordinary day, they all knew life was about to change, nearly everyone was splitting up and following the trend he took his friend Finn's advice and dived in to do the same. He hadn't been a single man for long through his senior years, so he didn't feel like he'd attached to anyone enough to be upset to leave, or so he thought at the time, but a year on and he knew something wasn't right, he was carrying feelings he didn't know what to do with.
The opportunity came up for him to spend some time at a music exchange thing in California, she was at university there so of course he jumped at it, and by pure accidental purpose, he met up with Mercy again. She'd been the last girl he'd been seeing at school, the one that had taken a chunk of him he didn't know was missing until he was playing the field again. They went for a drink that night and he actually told her about his feelings for her from back then, she shocked him and actually apologised for letting him go without being honest with him.
Adult Mercy seemed like a really cool, level-headed girl, which wasn't something he was looking for back in school, but now he was learning a bit about life, she appealed to him, of course they kept in touch he was there for three months. They met up every night, got close and ended up taking that relationship way too far for either of them to be comfortable with leaving things where they were, when the time came.
"Here we are again" she looked into his eyes as they waited for his flight
"Yeah" he smiled nervously, this was harder than he'd expected
"Do you have to go?"
"I have to go" he chuckled nervously "Don't make this any harder than it is"
"Marry me" she asked
"Mercy" he almost chocked at her request "We can't get married" he laughed "I've got… we've got plans"
"So, marry me, we can do them together"
"Are you being serious?" he pulled away from her
"I'm serious Sam, what do you say?"
"I'm" he looked around the airport sort of relieved she wasn't kneeling "I'm sorry Mercy, I'm not ready for that"
"So, that's a no?"
"I'm not ready, it's a I'm not ready" he felt bad for the hurt on her face
"I thought we meant something to each other?"
"We do, I mean I've never felt about anyone else the way that I feel about you"
"I guess, if the word love wasn't in there somewhere, we're not even on the same damn page"
"Mercy" he moaned "This is all so sudden…"
"Not for me, we agreed we made a mistake at school, we've hooked up here, I gave you me…"
"And all that was real to me, very real, but we have ambitions, dreams, aspiration, I…"
"Okay" she pulled away from him "It's fine" she smiled, he could tell tears were coming "Have a safe journey" she smiled leaned up and kissed his lips lightly "Bye Sam"
"Mercy" he called after her
"Bye Sam" she turned to tell him, and she was gone, leaving him wondering if he'd done the right thing
It had taken him a while to get the image of her out of his mind, and of course the fact that all communication had ceased left a hole in his heart and his life, he hadn't realised just how much of his time was taken up thinking about her. He'd tried to make contact so many times, and when he'd found out she'd finished college the first thing he did was called back home to ask if she'd returned.
He didn't have many friends left back there, everyone had spread their wings, but in conversation with Finn he'd learned that Mike; one of their old teammates, was still there, so he made the call
"Dude" he called waiting for Mike to make the connection "Who's this?"
"You called me, who the hell are you?" came back at him making him laugh "Sam?"
"Yes" he laughed "What's up?"
"Blast from the past, we lived in each other's pockets once, it's been what, nearly four years?"
"Just under" Sam laughed "How's home?"
"Home's the same" he told him his laughter dimming "My mom past six months ago, but on the upside, I was really gassed that T was able to put our differences aside and support me through that" his voice sincere
"Sorry to hear that dude, condolences to the family"
"I'm on the other side of it, and today's a good day, and now T and I are figuring things out, things are looking good"
"That's good to hear, you guys surviving all this I mean"
"Shame about you and Mercy"
"What about her?"
"She' getting married, didn't she invite you, this guy called Desean, he's alright"
"Good for her" he thought he meant it when the words came out of his mouth, but his interest in the conversation went downhill fast after that, he needed to throw the phone across the room, grab his things and get home, she needed to know that wasn't happening, because now he'd changed his mind, and she'd asked him first
"It's been a while since you've been home dude, when you going to make it happen?"
"I might just surprise you" he laughed forcing himself to talk for a while longer before he closed the call
End of Flashback
Tonight, he was waiting for an old friend to hook him up to make a flight back home, he sat smiling at the blatant tell-tale signs he'd ignored all this time, and the moment he'd realised he was looking for another Mercy, there were parts of him, deep inside, that hadn't let go of her, and his reaction to the news that she was getting married just proved that to him. He sat on the information Mike had given him for a month wondering why he'd been looking for imitations when he knew where to find the real thing, he was going to do the unthinkable and win her back, fuck this Desean guy. He finished his last exam, graduated, said his goodbyes, packed all his belonging in a bag, and made a call to Shane his frenemy.
Why do you come here, when you know I've got troubles enough, why do you call me, when you know I can't answer the phone?
Make me lie, when I don't want to, and make someone else, some kind of unknowing fool
You make me stay, when I should not, are you so strong, or is the weakness in me
Shane had lost Mercy to Sam years ago, and although he was bitter for a while, he wasn't twisted about that today. They'd sort of connected when Shane found out Sam and Mercy weren't together anymore, and become, without realising it, a couple of wounded soldiers from their relationship with Mercy Jones. When he heard about the pending wedding, he too wanted the opportunity to see the face of the man who had finally got the girl they were still in love with, so the two of them were meeting up in Texas to make the journey home.
"About time" Sam gasped at seeing Shane walk through the door
"Yeah, sorry, game went over" Shane smiled "Ready?"
"More than" he got up to make the journey to the airport
They landed home and made the short journey back to the village, wondering why they'd expected things to have changed, the lazy cats was still sleeping on the porches, the smell of cattle in contrast with the green leafy view wafted home, nothing about the land had changed.
"Sam?" they heard as his hand touched the bar door, the two guys looking at each other before they turned to put the face to the voice
"Rachel" Sam smiled "How are you?"
"I'm good, give me a hug" she held her arms out for him to fall into, "So" she looked at Shane "Strange pairing"
"We're not together" Shane laughed "We came in on the same flight" he took her hug "We'll catch up" he carried on into the bar
"Sure" she watched them walk in
"Mike should be here already" Sam looked around
"Dude" Mike waved at them "Shane Tinsley?"
"The one and only" Shane smiled
"Great game tonight dude" Finn got up to greet them
"Thanks"
"Odd linkup" Mike looked at them
"Not you too" Sam waved him off
"Two for the price of one" Finn laughed
"Two what?" Shane asked looking blankly at Sam
"Okay" Finn smiled "Desean is on his way"
"Why would he be on his way here?" Sam asked shocked
"He wanted to meet you guys, I guess" Mike told them "Well I guess she knew about you" he looked at Sam
"But maybe not me?" Shane asked pointing at himself
"That's just…" Sam started to protest
"Desean" Mike called out alerting them to the guy arriving, Shane and Sam's heads spun round involuntarily, they needed to know who this dick was "This is Sam and Shane" he got up to shake Desean's hand "Guys this is Mercy's soon to be Desean"
All Sam could find was "HI" as he held his hand out for shaking, the guy was a brickhouse
"Yo" Shane went into puffed chest mode, he was challenging the man, and Sam was happy to watch the two giants kick the living shit out of each other so he could step over them and walk away smiling, the only surviving pursuer of Mercy Jones.
"At last," Desean smiled at them "I don't know what I was expecting, maybe a dual or something" he laughed "The wedding's in two days and I didn't want anything to be odd between us"
"Why would things be odd between us?" Sam asked because he felt the question was out there, he'd never thought about Mercy having a type, but stood looking at these two giants, it was clear she did, and he wasn't it
"Just the things I've heard, all her friends talk about you guys, and if I'm honest, I feel a bit intimidated"
"Where is Mercy?" Shane asked, he didn't seem to be locked into the small talk at all
"She's dress prepping with the girls" Desean told him "I just swung by to say hi really, I've got a busy night ahead myself" he looked at Mike and Finn "Will I be seeing you guys later?"
"Sure, we're just catching up, we'll be over in an hour or so" Finn told him
"Well," Desean looked from Shane to Sam "Nice to finally meet you, hopefully you'll be there on the day, so I'll see you then"
"I've not had an invite" Shane told him, he sounded like he was preparing for a fight
"Consider this it" Desean smiled at him "To both of you" he looked at Sam before walking away
"Dick" Shane hissed at the man
"You didn't even give the man a chance" Finn laughed "Talk about going for the jugular"
"What's happening tonight?" Sam asked, trying to hide how pissed he was with his so called friends
"His family have come in, we're just having some drinks, meeting the bridal party and stuff, we've been invited"
"Bridal party?" Sam asked still trying to keep the shock out of his voice and off his face, he'd spoken to these men on several occasions, and not once had they mentioned that they were in contact with Mercy, let alone to now be part of her freaking bridal party, that was traitor behaviour if he'd ever seen it
Eventually it was time for Mike and Finn to leave, "On a scale of one to ten how fucked up do you think those guys are?" Shane asked Sam they finished off their drinks
"Eleven" Sam snapped, leaving the bar to finally see their families
Shane
"Hey" he smiled surprised for seeing Mercy sitting on the steps outside his parents home
"Hey" she smiled standing up "I heard you were back, and that you met Desean, and I just wanted you to know that wasn't how I intended for this to go"
"It's fine" he smiled, everything was fine now she was standing in front of him, giving him those eyes, letting him know that what they had wasn't fake, she'd cared about him, enough to come here now to explain herself
"It isn't fine" she walked towards him "And I didn't send you an invite because I didn't think it was something I should do via card, I wanted to see you"
"So, you've seen me" he smiled "Actually your fiancé invited me this evening"
"He said, and just to be clear I didn't ask him to do that for me, so again, I'm sorry" she smiled standing right in front of him now, so close their chests could touch if they really tried "But will you come?"
"Yes" he laughed hugging her, it felt so familiar he didn't want to let go "Congratulations by the way" he forced himself away from her
"Thanks" she looked up at him with those eyes again
"You know I'm jealous as hell you chose that guy over me" he couldn't resist telling her, he had nothing to lose
"Shane" she smiled tapping his chest playfully "I watched your game tonight"
"Does he play?"
"No" she giggled "That would have been too many reminders"
"Of?"
"You" she smiled "You were my first boyfriend, I'm always going to remember you, first kiss, holding hands, first football game, you carrying my books" she giggled "Anyway I've done what I came to do, apologise and leave a verbal invitation"
"You might hate me for asking this" he smiled still in his memories and happy she'd remembered them too "Are you sure about this guy?"
"As sure as anyone can be" she giggled "He's a nice guy…if you'd take the time to get to know him"
"I don't want to get to know him, I'd grab you back in a heartbeat, he needs to feel that, and you need to just say the word"
"Be nice Shane" she tapped his arm "I'll see you on Saturday" she held onto his shoulder like she always did, reached up and kissed his cheek, and brushed her lipstick off "Take care"
"You too" he turned to watch her leave, "The balls in your court" she was definitely telling him something, all that flirting, kissing his cheek, wiping her lipstick off, she was trying to tell him something, maybe she wanted him to be the reason she walked away on Saturday.
Today was Thursday and right now he needed to get his mind off her and on his family, he hadn't seen them for nearly a year, so there was time to make up. One thing he knew for sure before he walked through that door, and that was if he had a chance with Mercy, Sam and he weren't going to be friends for long, so he needed to distance himself no matter how much they got on.
Sam
He didn't know if it had been the alcohol he'd been slowly consuming since the previous night or jetlag, but his head had touched the pillow last night and he was out like a light. The sun beaming into his room this morning told him it was late morning rather than early afternoon, he didn't feel bad about it, he'd been studying for four years straight, with fortnightly breaks here and there, but that's what comes of attempting, successfully he might add, to squeeze a six year program into four. His parent had kept him up for nearly three hours after he'd got home, feeding him, asking questions and just being with him, he'd had a hard time prizing his mother off him to get to bed in the first place.
It took him a couple of seconds to look round, remember why he was there and get mad about it, he'd played cool at the bar, even kept a level head with Shane, but he was punching the devil, god, and everything in between once he was on his own, he couldn't believe that idiot had stepped up to him like that. More to the point he couldn't understand why Mercy would do that shit to him, in his mind they had something special, she'd asked him to marry her less than five years ago, so how the hell did this dick come into play, how does someone just get over shit that quick.
"Sam" he heard his mom calling him, of course he rolled his eyes, if he hadn't she'd have accused him of doing it anyway, it was a running joke for as long as he could remember "Stop rolling your damn eyes and get down here" she called making him laugh
"I'm coming" he shouted back, grabbing his vest, while trying to dampen his anger "What's up?" he asked when he reached the kitchen door "Shit" he hissed at Mercy sitting there "What are you doing here?" he snapped at her, he didn't mean to, it was the shock and the anger he'd been trying to let go of let loose "Sorry I mean…"
"Obviously I came to see you" she got up "I don't know why I bothered though"
"Hey" he called after her "I'm sorry, you just caught me by surprise" he looked around the kitchen "Do you want to…?" he pointed to the patio
"Yeah" she tutted
"So" he closed the door behind him "I guess you're here to tell me your getting married tomorrow?"
"Yeah" she sat down "About that, I just wanted to apologise for Desean springing that on you like that, it wasn't supposed to go like that"
"How was it supposed to go?"
"Of course, it should have come from me, I didn't call because I wanted to do this face to face, he knew that, so I'm not happy with him about it"
"Since we're talking about feelings, I wasn't happy about it either, I'm not happy about it"
"What did you expect me to do Sam, sit around waiting for you to be ready?"
"There isn't a day that goes by I don't think about that day and wish I'd said yes" he looked into her eyes
"Sam" she moaned their stare saying more than their mouths were
"I know you're getting married to Desean" he rolled his eyes "And I'm the idiot who's going to be sitting around for the rest of his life wondering if love will ever again feel the same for me as it did with you"
"If you're trying to make me feel bad…" she giggled nervously
"I'm not" he sighed "I'm trying to let you know how bad I feel"
"We weren't meant to be Sam"
"Back then I guess not, but now, I mean, I'm ready, I'm ready now Mercy" he looked into her eyes "Choose me"
"Sam" she snapped "This isn't fair, I'm getting married tomorrow" she chuckled to herself "Desean swears I'm still in love with someone else" she grabbed his hand "And if I was being honest with myself I'd tell him he was telling the truth, but our times passed"
"Has it?" he stood looking into her eyes seeing she was trying to be as strong as him about this
"I came here for closure, for both of us"
"You're not going to get that from me, this isn't over for me, even when you marry him, I still won't believe it's the end for us"
"Sam" she got up "I can't do this, you'll just have to learn to live with it and move on, I'm not up for fixing you" she walked towards the patio doors telling him "And if you're planning on doing anything stupid tomorrow, please" she stopped to look at him "Don't come"
"The next move is up to you" he called after her as he stood watching the door swing open and close quickly behind her, his mouth needed to stay closed he'd said enough as it was, he'd bared his all and she gave him nothing back, he stood thinking this must have been how she felt when he'd rejected her all those years ago.
"Have you finished totally breaking that girls heart?" his mom asked as he walked back inside, he was too upset to answer he just held his hand up and walked through back up to his room, rolling his eyes at that damn song going mad in his head
Why do you come here, and pretend to be just passing by, when I need to see you, and I mean to hold you tightly, babe…
"You're so fucking weak" he giggled to himself
The Wedding
"One hundred dollars says she's not going to do it" Shane held his hand out smiling
"What do you know?" Sam asked, he couldn't take his eye off Desean up the front with Mike and Finn, his so called friends, making a fuss of the guy "Look at those dicks" he hissed not interested in any bet. Everyone started shuffling about and he knew Mercy was in the church, his palms were sweating, and he wasn't even up the front, but he was getting ready to watch his life slip away. The music changed and everyone turned to look at the bride coming in he fake smiled as half his female school friends came marching in, headed by Tina and Rachel, the music changed again, and Mercy came walking in, taking his breath away "Looks like she's doing it to me" he whispered to Shane
They followed the crowd as the ceremony started, vows were set to be said when Desean looked at the congregation, turned to Mercy and uttered the words only god could have put in his mouth "I can't marry you Mercedes, I'm sorry" before he dropped her hands and walked away. The crowd were stunned, numb, and disappointed until her mom's voice started shouting and everyone seemed to join in, Desean was mud and Sam loved it.
Two Months Later
Sam didn't go to the reception, he didn't think it was fitting, and since then there was silence again, the wedding wasn't talked about, no one asked about Mercy, her family or Desean, eventually the town returned to life as normal, soft whispers and rolling eyes
"I heard he came back" Sam's mom told him one morning as they sat eating breakfast
"Who came back?"
"Desean, apparently they talked, he gave her an ultimatum, can you believe that?"
"He walks out on her and she's given an ultimatum?" he raised an eyebrow before biting into his toast
"Apparently she has a choice to make, Cynthia said he thought she was in love with someone else, and didn't want to live like that"
"She told me she'd made her choice" he told her still chewing food
The Airport
Two months was enough Mercy made the decision to leave again, she couldn't be happy there, things were just too complicated, especially with Desean getting a job in town it was almost too painful to see all three of them on a daily basis. They'd argued about Sam and Shane the night before their wedding, she'd defended them a bit too much, so much so she knew the wedding wasn't happening, but she didn't think he'd wait until the church to back out. And now she was left with a decision to make
It was her turn to sit pondering on life, looking at the bottom of a red solo cup, phone in hand, Desean wanted her to stay, Sam was just waiting, she had no idea what his plan was, and a life with Shane would mean MBA all the way, but what did she want?
Feeling guilty, worried, waking from tormented sleep, this old love has me bound, but the new love cuts deep
If I choose now, I'll lose out, cause when all this has to fall, I need you and you alone…
Her finger scrolling their names as she thought about them, she closed her eyes and pressed "Hi" she smiled when he answered, "I'm standing here at the airport about to get my flight and I wondered if" she smiled at what she was about to ask, "You'd marry me?"
"Yes" the voice answered before the phone went dead, she smiled happy with her decision
Twenty minutes later
"Shane" she looked up smiling
"Babe" he grinned
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm an MBA player, I have work to do" he smiled "I was going to say see you on my next visit but…"
"Yeah, I'm going back to LA" she smiled "But I'll be watching you"
"Good to know" he kissed her cheek "Safe journey"
"You too" she watched him walk away
"Hey" a voice caught her attention
"Hey" she burst out crying "You came" she hugged him
"Of course, I came" he laughed "I mean it, I'll always love you Mercy Jones"
"I'll always love you right back Sam Evans" she kissed him
"That was for the lovers over there" a busker pointed at them
Why do you come here, and pretend to be just passing by, when I need to see you
And I need to hold you tightly, babe, love.
"So, you made your choice?" Desean stood watching them
"Desean" she let go of Sam shocked "What are you doing here?"
"I heard you were leaving I wanted to say bye" he looked at Sam "I guess you're leaving too?"
"We're getting married" Sam looked at Mercy "She asked about 4 years ago, I just said yes"
"Good luck" Desean held his hand out "I knew I was in the middle of something my money was on Shane" he laughed at himself
"Dese…"
"It's okay Mercy, I'm fine" he smiled "Bye" he turned and walked away
"Bye" Sam and Mercy said at the same time, grabbing hold of each other