A/N: The final Chapter! We Made it guys!
Santana tried to enjoy herself. She tried hard. From the minute they arrived at Breadsticks she actually put some effort into having a good time. She let Kurt gush over her outfit, even twirling around for him to see. She laughed with Mercedes about how all the party was missing was Sugar and it would be exactly like the valentine's party she threw their senior year, she danced with Brittany on the makeshift dancefloor, performed a couple of songs with Rachel, Quinn and her kids, entertaining everyone. She had a cake eating contest with Jesus to see who could finish their slice the fastest and even put Sophia on her shoulders when everyone went on the dancefloor to see if they remembered the choreography from their Nationals' performance. No one could say that Santana wasn't trying.
But it was only 8 o'clock and she was ready to leave. Try as she might she wasn't actually enjoying herself at all. In fact every minute she stayed felt like torture. She had to bite her tongue on several occasions to keep in the comments that were begging to come out. Comments that would ruin everyone's good moods and have her ending their reunion on a sour note. So she didn't say anything about how Kurt's voice had lost the smoothness that made his performances tolerable in the past, probably due to his stepping back from performing. She didn't say anything about Mercedes clearly needing to take up dance classes again, or at least do some exercise so she didn't get so out of breath from their old routines. She definitely didn't say anything about how Tina's dress was holding her in all the wrong places.
She didn't say these things because on the day they'd arrived in Lima, she'd made a promise to herself to not go back to her high school self. So even though she was so angry sometimes she wanted to physically lash out, Santana was practicing self-control.
She wouldn't have even come to this 'farewell soiree' as Kurt was calling it. In fact Brittany had thought it a better idea for her not to, but she knew that in a month or so, when her emotions had settled a bit and she was feeling back to normal, she'd regret missing it. As much as coming back to Lima had opened up a lot of old wounds for her, it was still nice to be with her high school friends, in a place they used to always come to, dancing and singing and reminiscing about the old days. She couldn't enjoy it now, but she knew she'd enjoy the memories when she was ready.
Deciding it was at least time to take a break from making memories, she sought Brittany out in the crowd, finding her on the dancefloor with Mike and Blaine having a dance off.
"Britt" she waved to get Brittany's attention. She saw Brittany whisper something to Blaine, who she was standing next to as Mike danced, then Brittany was making her way to her.
"Everything okay?" Brittany asked, taking Santana's hand. "Do you want to leave?"
"No" Santana shook her head. "Not yet, but I need a break."
"Okay" Brittany looked around the restaurant. "Um I can look for Quinn or Noah to watch the kids so we can go."
"No, no, no" She squeezed Brittany's arm. "No you stay."
"Babe, no"
"You're having a good time Britt. Just….Stay and dance and I'll be back in a few minutes."
"Are you sure? Cause I'll come with you. I want to."
Santana pulled Brittany into her, gently kissing her lips.
"I'm sure. I'll just be ten minutes."
"Okay." Brittany kissed her again. "I'm going to have my phone on me so text me…call if you want…I'll have it on me."
"Thanks."
With a soft smile, Santana let go of Brittany's hand and turned to the exit.
The air felt so cold compared to inside the restaurant. It had Santana instantly shivering, pulling her coat tighter around herself.
She stood there for a few minutes, her head tilted up to the sky and eyes closed, trying to exhale her tension.
Every time she was alone and in silence, like she was now, Santana's mind went back to her grandmother's living room. She'd played that memory in her mind over so many times, seeing her abuela's disgust, then her desperation the first time Santana went to leave, then her sadness when Santana finally told her she was done. She had those images in her head on constant repeat, making her relive the pain of the moment over and over, and keeping her in a constant state of anger.
"Too much fun for you too?"
Santana dropped her head, opening her eyes to see Quinn standing in front of her.
"Hmm" She hummed. "Just needed a breather."
"Me too." Quinn sniffed, wiping her gloved hand over her nose. Santana noticed it was red, so were Quinn's eyes.
"You okay?"
Quinn shrugged.
Santana hadn't really talked to Quinn much since Christmas. She'd been busy with work and then they were in LA and then she'd had her heart torn open once again by her abuela, so she hadn't been doing a good job of checking in on her best friends.
Last time she'd really talked to Quinn she was upset because she wasn't able to see Beth on Christmas.
"Quinn" Santana placed her hand on Quinn's shoulder, making her look at her. "Are you okay?"
Quinn didn't move at first, staring hard at the parking lot, but after a moment she shook her head slowly, a tear rolling down her cheek. She sniffed.
"What happened?"
"Shelby…" Quinn cleared her throat. "Shelby just left."
"Oh" Santana nodded, biting her lip.
She should have known it was to do with Beth. In her opinion, Quinn was better off without the girl in her life. She didn't have anything against Beth, and though she had her issues with Shelby, she could sympathise a little better now that she'd adopted her own kids. Shelby had messed up the first time around, and now she was trying to make up for it. Santana could respect that. But she wasn't so sure that Quinn being around Beth was a good idea. It would have been better for Shelby to have adopted Beth and moved to New York, never to return again. It was never going to be possible for Quinn to see Beth and not feel pain.
There was never going to be a time when Beth knew who Quinn and Puck were, so they were never really going to get the kind of connection they wanted with her, and they would only ever be able to see her on Shelby's schedule. They'd have to fly to New York, because Santana was pretty sure Shelby wasn't going to bring Beth to San Jose, which meant they'd still be missing out on Beth's life, only this time they'd know it.
Maybe Shelby would let them call her, and maybe she'd send them pictures and invite them to birthday parties, but they'd be experiencing Beth's life from the outside.
Santana loved Quinn, but she didn't think she was strong enough for that. She was pretty sure that a year of that would have Quinn spiralling. The last thing they needed was another pink haired phase.
"Q" She said slowly. "Maybe it's a good thing we're leaving in two days."
"Why do you say that?" Quinn again wiped her nose with her hand, flicking her hair out of her face.
"Because…" Santana took a deep breath. "We left Lima for a reason. We always wanted to get out of this god forsaken town for a reason. There are too many ghosts and skeletons in the closet. So much pain, so many mistakes. We needed to get out and make a fresh start."
Quinn nodded.
"True"
"So maybe you say goodbye, and we go home, and we leave it at that."
Quinn turned to her with a frown.
"You don't get it."
"I know it's hard-"
"It's not hard, it's impossible." Quinn harshly wiped her check and crossed her arms over her chest. "Imagine if something happened and you couldn't keep Sophia. Would you be able to just go on living…make a fresh start?" She said with air quotes. "Just because she wasn't in your life anymore, would you be able to forget her?"
Santana didn't bother replying. It was clearly a rhetorical question. She lowered her eyes from Quinn's fiery gaze.
"She's my daughter Santana." Quinn said, shaking her head. "And she doesn't know it, and I'm not allowed to tell her or act like it, but she is my daughter. I've thought about her every day since she was born. When I was in New Haven and I'd be walking down the street I'd sometimes pretend I was coming back from dropping her at day care. When you and Britt were looking for schools, I looked too, wanting to see what kind of school I'd have picked for her if I had her. I thought about what I'd dress her in on her first day of school, and when you'd drop your kids at the restaurant I'd picture her sitting on the barstools with them, drinking milkshakes and doing her homework. I never stopped thinking about her Santana, and the picture I had of her in my head was nice, yeah, but it hurt not knowing what she was actually like. What she actually looked like. You don't know what that feels like."
"No." Santana said quietly. "I'm sorry….I just don't want you to constantly be jerked around like this by Shelby. I know this hurts you too."
"Yeah" Quinn nodded. "It hurts not being able to see her whenever I want. But Santana she knows my name. I know what she looks like and what her voice sounds like and I can sit at home and picture her for real. Of course I want to have what you have. I want her to come pull my shirt and tell me how hungry she is. I want to have to apologise to people for having to leave early because all the dancing wore her out and she's passed out. I want to hear her call me mum." Tears were streaming down Quinn's cheeks as she talked, breaking Santana's heart. "But I'd rather get to see a bit of her, than not at all."
Santana pressed her lips together, nodding. She pulled Quinn into her side, looping their arms together.
"Okay" Was all she said.
All she could do was hope that with time, this would get easier for Quinn.
At half past ten o'clock, Santana couldn't believe she was still at this party. She couldn't believe any of them were. Kurt and Blaine were both drunk, making out in one of the booths, Finn and Puck were also drunk and being absolute menaces, Rachel was trying to pretend she wasn't irritated by Finn's behaviour by avoiding him, Mercedes was drunkenly laughing with Tina and a sober Sean, Sam and Artie were playing darts on a board Santana wasn't completely sure the origins of, and she, Brittany, Mike and Lizzy were all sitting in a booth with Jesus, Sophia and a passed out Kyler. Quinn hadn't come back in.
Santana wasn't sure why she hadn't left yet. Her kids were tired, except Jesus, who was on his second plate of fries and attempting to finish a burger, and she was ready to collapse into a soft, warm bed. But Brittany was enjoying herself. Even though she kept asking Santana if she wanted to leave, Santana could see the genuine joy in her eyes. She was having such a good time dancing with Mike, or drinking wine and chatting with Lizzy about Chicago and her job in marketing. They were leaving in a few days, and Santana would get the peace of mind that she wanted. So she could suffer a few more hours for Brittany to have this.
Brittany's hand slid onto her thigh, rubbing slowly up and down as she continued to talk with Lizzy. Santana smiled internally.
"Oh my god really? Babe Lizzy's worked with Pepsi!" Brittany turned to her, grinning. "She got free Pepsi for a week."
"Why would you want that?" Santana grimaced sarcastically.
"HA!" Mike barked loudly. Kyler shifted from his place between Jesus and the wall, curled into a ball. She and Brittany glanced at him, silent for a second to see if he'd wake up. He didn't.
Lizzy smacked Mike's arm.
"Sorry" Mike said sheepishly. "But didn't I tell you Pepsi was trash?"
"It was free." Lizzy shrugged. "Why would I turn down something free?"
"You know what else is free?" Santana asked, her hand falling to Brittany's on her thigh. "Sleeping on a park bench. And yet…"
Brittany snorted, squeezing Santana's thigh.
"Always with the facts" Mike laughed, raising his beer to cheers with Santana's wine glass.
"Mami….taste this" Jesus lifted his burger, which had all the fillings spilling out the back, as close as he could to Santana. Her hands shot out, one under the burger to catch a falling tomato, the other to hold the back of it to keep anything else from falling. "Taste it, it's yummy."
She bent down, bringing her mouth closer so he wasn't stretching so much and took a bite.
"Taste it again"
"He wants her to finish it" Brittany said to Mike and Lizzy. "When he's full, he always tries to get us to eat his food by saying it's so yummy."
"It's so yummy mami, take a proper bite."
Chuckling, Santana opened her mouth wide, taking such a big bite that only the corners of the burger were left.
"Mami you finished it" Jesus squealed.
"Sorry" Santana mumbled round her impossibly full mouth. "It was just too yummy."
"What are you saying?" Jesus giggled. "You sound like a monster."
"That's cause she is" Brittany said, over Santana's shoulder.
Taking the cue, Santana lunged forward, grabbing Jesus into her lap and tickling him. He screamed and kicked, banging the table and causing their drinks to shake.
"Okay, let's not break anything." Brittany laughed, rubbing Santana's back. Santana let Jesus slide off her lap, under the table. "How's that burger?" Brittany poked Santana's full cheeks.
She was still chewing.
"Good" She held up her thumb.
"Oh no…" Mike sighed, taking a napkin from in front of them and turning to face Lizzy fully. "Babe…"
"Sorry" Lizzy sniffled. "Sorry, I don't…god these hormones."
Santana and Brittany locked eyes, both pressing their lips together to keep from laughing.
"It's okay" Mike stroked her hair. "What's wrong this time?"
"I can't wait for that" she said, taking the tissue and blowing her nose. "I can't wait for our little one to be giggling like that. Can you imagine, being the one to make them laugh so fully?"
"I can" Mike nodded, kissing Lizzy's cheek. "I can't wait either."
"You're going to be great parents." Brittany said. "I'm excited for you guys."
"Thanks." Lizzy breathed. She took a deep breath, wiped her face with another napkin and shook her hair out of her face. "Okay. I'm okay."
Mike kissed her. "You're crazy, but I still love you."
"Thanks." Lizzy chuckled. "Anyway, when are we getting another duet Santana…Brittany?"
Santana and Brittany turned to each other, both raising their eyebrows.
"You wanna?" Santana asked.
"If you want to."
"One from high school!" Mike cheered as Brittany and Santana stood up.
"Oh man" Santana laughed. "Why do you guys think I still remember this shit?"
"Mama where are you going?" Sophia emerged from under the table, Jesus beside her.
"We're going to dance honey" Brittany said. "You wanna come?"
Sophia shook her head.
"Okay. You can sit there with your brothers and watch."
"What are we going to do?" Santana asked, as they walked to the DJ.
Brittany bit her lip thinking. There were so many options. They could do sweet, energetic…
"Oh I know!" She clapped excitedly.
"What?" Santana asked.
"Me against the music."
As midnight ticked closer, Santana gave up on the idea of going home early. From the way Brittany was still happily dancing with Mercedes, trying to remember the moves to Candy man she now saw herself remaining at breadsticks until the party was over. Sophia had joined Kyler on the couch, cuddling into his side and falling asleep. Jesus was still holding strong, but Santana wasn't surprised. There was way too much stimulation for him to even feel tired.
She was tired though. She'd been sipping the same glass of wine for over two hours, and could no longer bring herself to dance. Luckily, everyone else seemed to have gotten a second wind, and were not too concerned with what she was doing. Everyone but Lizzy was on the dancefloor. Santana was pretty sure she'd seen Quinn taking a few shots with Sam and Artie, which meant another few hours of wild partying before everyone came down again.
Rachel grabbed the mic from Kurt, who frowned heavily at her, and tapped it hard.
"Is this on?"
Lizzy giggled. "How drunk is she?"
"Very." Santana said, shaking her head. "I think we're the only sober ones here."
"So we're the losers?"
"Welcome to motherhood" Santana smirked.
"Can I have everyone's attention?" Rachel screeched into the microphone. "Everyone! Everyone!"
Even though everyone was silent and looking at her, Rachel continued to shout.
"Can I get everyone's attention?!"
"If I give you any more attention it'll be to knock your teeth out Berry." Santana yelled. "What do you want?"
"Oh" Rachel smiled at everyone, noticing them looking at her. "Hi everyone."
Santana rolled her eyes.
"So, this is a fun party right?"
The group all cheered and clapped.
"Yeah!" Rachel fist pumped the air. "I'm so happy we got to do this. I've missed you all so much. You guys were my family." She put her hand over her heart and nodded somberly.
"Oh god" Santana groaned. "If people are going to start giving speeches I'm leaving."
Lizzy chuckled. "I think it's sweet. I didn't have this in high school."
"And we only have a few more days together before we all disperse…" Rachel threw her arms out wide, wriggling her fingers. "Never to be seen again."
"Get to the point Barbara." Santana called up to the stage.
"Santana!" Rachel said happily, pointing out into the crowd, nowhere near Santana was. "I missed you too. You kept it real and I need that in my life."
Santana raised an eyebrow.
"Aw" Lizzy cooed.
"Since this is our last night together, I think we should play a game."
Santana closed her eyes, sighing. Party games. The very last thing she wanted to do right now.
"That's my cue" She said, opening her eyes.
"You're not going to play?" Lizzy asked, frowning slightly.
"Hell no. It'll be something lame like spin the bottle or truth or dare."
"Um Rachel" Mercedes raised her hand, swaying on the spot. Sean moved behind her, putting his hands on her waist to keep her steady. "Most of us are married or engaged or in a relationship….I don't think we can play the games we used to."
Santana nodded, pointing at Mercedes.
"She's drunk but she's right."
"But of course, Mercedes," Rachel bowed low, her hair falling forward, then she stood up, leaving it falling over her head. "Which is why we won't be playing the games we used to."
"What are we going to play then?" Brittany asked, bouncing excitedly. Santana had to smile.
"We're going to have a key party."
"A what?" Puck asked.
"Oh you don't know! Yaaay!" Rachel sang into the mic. Santana and most everyone else threw their hands over their ears as the feedback from the microphone filled the restaurant. Rachel quickly held the mic away from her mouth.
"I swear to god" Santana breathed, lowering her hand to rub Sophia's back as she lifted her head. "Go back to sleep honey, everything's okay." Sophia nodded, dropping her head back down.
"A key party" Rachel said, "Is when everyone puts a set of keys in a bowl, and then one by one we pick a key, blindly of course, and spend the rest of the night with whoever the keys belong to."
The restaurant was silent for a moment, as everyone thought this through.
Santana wasn't sure she wanted to participate, but she hadn't been to a key party before, and she was slightly intrigued. Slightly. There was still the fact that she was bone tired and really just wanted to take her kids home and let her bed swallow her whole.
"And what do you do with them?" Puck asked.
"Whatever you want" Rachel smirked, wriggling her eyebrows with such exaggeration that Santana burst out laughing.
"Nice" Puck smiled, high fiving Sam.
"So who's in?" Rachel asked.
Everyone cheered. Damn, Santana thought. She couldn't refuse now that everyone was so excited about it. Especially since Brittany was skipping towards her, grinning.
"Hand me my purse please"
Santana reached below the table and pulled out Brittany's purse.
"Are you going to play?" Brittany asked as she rummaged for her keys.
Santana shrugged. "I guess I should."
Brittany's hand stilled, her eyes focusing on Santana, looking a little less drunk.
"Do you want to go home? We can."
"No" Santana shook her head quickly. She sat up, straightening her back and smiling. "This'll be fun."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." To prove it, Santana took out her purse as well and grabbed the first pair of keys she felt. Her keys to the studio. "Here, put these in for me."
Grinning, Brittany took the keys and returned to looking for her own.
"I can't find any. Do I even have any keys?"
"Did you bring your car keys?"
"No, since I don't have my car."
"Here" Santana took out another set of keys from her purse, their house keys. "Use these."
"Thanks babe." Brittany leaned down and kissed her. "I hope you get a good date."
Brittany was just walking away as Mike walked up.
"Hey Liz" He slid into the booth next to her, one hand rubbing lovingly over her very round stomach.
"Come to ask permission to play?" Lizzy asked, running her hand through Mike's hair. He sighed happily, resting his head on her shoulder.
"I can also stay here."
"No. Go have fun with your friends babe."
"You're the best." Mike kissed her shoulder. "Do you want me to take you home?"
Lizzy looked around lazily.
"None of your friends want to hang out with me?"
Mike lifted his head, eyes wide. "You want to play?"
"Do you not want me to-"
"Of course not. You should….if you want to…in fact where are your keys…"
Pulling away from her, Mike took Lizzy's handbag and pulled out her keys. He kissed her swiftly on the cheek, then was up and gone.
"You had an out" Santana laughed. "Why didn't you take it? Don't you need to pee or something?"
"HA, ha" Lizzy grinned. "We're not going to have a lot of nights like this once our little peanut is born so…" she shrugged. "I can pee later."
Santana laughed, but she got it.
"Okay, last chance, who hasn't put their keys in." Rachel was holding up a large bowl full of keys. "Santana?"
Santana frowned.
"The hell?"
"Are your keys in here?"
"Yes dwarf" Santana rolled her eyes.
"Excellent. So let's begin. I'll go first, of course."
"Of course" Santana parroted, making Lizzy laugh.
"Aha" Rachel held up a pair of keys with a small bronze cassette tape attached to it. Santana dropped her head onto the table, groaning. "Whose are these."
"Are they yours?" Lizzy asked.
Santana shook her head, dragging her head along the table.
"Well they have to be someone's" Rachel was saying. "Come on guys, I know we're drunk but surely you can remember your keys."
Santana heard Brittany giggling and looked up.
"Brittany are they yours?" Rachel asked.
"Nope" Brittany popped the P.
"Are you sure? Come take a closer look."
"They're not mine" Brittany laughed, shaking her head.
"Then why are you laughing?" Mercedes asked, laughing along with her. Tina started laughing too.
"Guys this isn't funny!" Rachel stomped her foot. "We're wasting-"
"They're mine." Santana sighed, standing up and raising her hand.
"Oh" Rachel blinked. Then her face split into a massive smile. "Excellent." Mercedes and Tina laughed even harder, this time Puck and Quinn joined in. Rachel picked through the bowl for her own keys and took them out. "No point leaving these in here."
She handed the bowl to Blaine, who was standing next to her.
"Proceed without me. Santana and I have date."
"Don't call it that." Santana grimaced. "And let's please remember I have my kids, so nothing wild."
"Of course not" Rachel staggered towards her. "I need to start sobering up anyway."
Santana eyed her warily. "Okaaay….Britt?"
"Yeah?" Brittany walked to her.
"Who do you want?"
Brittany looked at their booth at the sleeping Kyler and Sophia.
"Mmhh…I'll take them two" She pointed at the two. "You take Jesus."
Santana narrowed her eyes. "You just want them cause their sleeping."
Brittany shrugged, smiling. "You asked."
"Fine. Jesus!"
From under the table Puck was sitting at, Jesus crawled out on hands and knees.
"Yes?"
"Ven aqui"
He got to his feet and ran to her.
"Yes Mami?"
"We're going out with Rachel."
"Okay." He took her hand. "Are we going in the car?"
"Yeah. I don't think Rachel can walk."
"Why?" He looked at her legs. "Are her legs not working?"
"She had too much special juice."
"Ooooh. Uncle Noah had too much special juice too."
Santana giggled, picking Jesus up and seating him on her hip.
"Come on Berry. Let's get this over with."
Santana and Rachel ended up at the park. Rachel couldn't come up with a place she wanted to go, and Santana was happy to end it at that and go home, but they passed the park on the way to Rachel's house and Jesus begged to see it at night. So Santana pulled over and let him explore, she and Rachel walking slowly behind him. They walked in relative silence, but every once in a while Jesus would point something out to her, or bring her a rock he found that was a cool shape.
"Santana…"
"Yeah?"
"You have a beautiful family."
Santana turned to Rachel, taken back by the comment.
"Thanks" She said genuinely.
"Can I be honest?"
"You're drunk so I'll chalk anything you say up to that."
Rachel chuckled, nodding.
"I'm jealous of you."
Santana's eyebrows rose. "Umm…" She glanced at Jesus, making sure she could see him and he hadn't gotten too far, then looked back at Rachel. "I hate to break it to you Rach, but you haven't been doing a great job of keeping that a secret."
"I know" Rachel laughed. "But I don't just mean your career and fame."
"What do you mean then – Jesus don't stick your hand in there!"
"Okay" Jesus pulled his hand out of the hole at the bottom of a tree he was inspecting, but continued to peek inside.
"I swear if a racoon or squirrel or something jumps out at him…" Santana shook her head, walking faster to get to Jesus. "See anything?" she asked when she was standing beside him.
"It's dark."
"Do you want a flashlight?" Rachel asked. Jesus lifted his head, nodding. "Here" Rachel took out her phone, turned on the flashlight and handed it to him.
"Thank you." Jesus said happily, before returning to the hole.
"Thanks" Santana said.
"You're welcome." Rachel smiled.
"Ummm…You were saying-"
"Yes." Rachel wrapped her arms around herself and looked down at Jesus. "I was saying that I'm not jealous of your fame. Well…a little maybe" she chuckled. "But it's really your whole life."
"Like my kids?" Santana asked, still confused.
"Uh…" Rachel bobbed her head from side to side. "Your kids…your family...just your life."
"Ah you wanna be a lesbian" Santana said, nodding. Rachel's eyes bugged before she caught Santana's smile. "Kidding. But I still don't get what you mean. I mean I know your life right now isn't where you wanted to be but you'll get back there. To New York and Broadway."
"I know" Rachel nodded. "But…don't get offended…"
Santana pursed her lips. "I'll try."
Jesus seemed to be done with the tree, but not with Rachel's phone. He was now shining the light over everything, inspecting as closely as possible.
"In high school I kind of told myself that it was fine…me being at the bottom of the hierarchy, being slushied every day and not really having friends…it was all going to be worth it because I would be a famous star and you and Quinn and Brittany would have peaked in high school and be struggling for the rest of your lives."
Santana's eyebrows rose high. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say to that, especially since it kind of irritated her.
"My life wasn't perfect in high school."
"I know that." Rachel said. Jesus had started walking again, so the pair followed after him. "I know you guys all had stuff you were dealing with and that being popular didn't actually make you happy, but at the time it was all I wanted. I wanted boys to look at me when I walked in, and be invited to parties or even just have someone to sit with in the cafeteria or in class. Someone who came over to my house after school and went shopping over the weekend. I know that you were dealing with a lot Santana, but…god…can't you see how lucky you were?"
"So lucky" Santana nodded, rolling her eyes. "Yeah that's me. I was so lucky that I was in the closet for two years, publicly outed and then disowned by my grandmother."
"I didn't-"
"Then I dropped out of university where I was depressed, after breaking up with the love of my life, and had to go begging for a place to stay with two people who hated me. Do you even know how embarrassing that was?" Santana crossed her arms over her chest.
"We didn't hate you."
"Please" Santana scoffed. "Eventually yeah, maybe I grew on you, but I know you hated me. I know you only let me stay cause you're both too nice to kick me out."
"As embarrassing as having your first tv show fail so badly you're laughed out of LA and have to move back to your hometown to get a job at your old high school?"
Santana let her arms drop, sighing.
"Yeah…"
"You went through a lot in our personal life, but you can at least look back on high school and….I don't know…have some good memories. You had friends, you lived! And in the end you win. You got the love of your life back and started a family, you got the career of your dreams, you're still beautiful…everything. You got everything."
Santana couldn't deny it. She did get everything. So why was she sulking?
"I'd give anything to have what you and Brittany have." Rachel mumbled. "I thought I did, with Finn."
"Thought?" Santana asked, frowning. "Aren't you guys engaged?"
"What do you think about that?" Rachel asked, looking at Santana with eyes so vulnerable it made her uncomfortable.
"I don't have an opinion. I guess I'm happy for you-"
"No" Rachel shook her head. "I want to know what you really think."
"Mami I have a sword!" Jesus spun around to face her, brandishing a long stick.
"That's great papi. What are you gonna do with your sword?"
"Kill the monsters."
"You kill those monsters then!"
"He's so cute" Rachel giggled.
"Rach…" Santana sighed. "I try not to butt into people's relationships anymore. I've learned that the saying 'no one knows what goes on in a relationship except the people in it,' is one hundred percent true."
"Yeah but I know you have an opinion."
Santana smirked, biting her lip.
"Why do you love Finn?" She decided to ask.
Rachel faced forward, silent for a moment.
"He's my first love."
"Yes but why?" Santana rolled her eyes.
"What do you mean?" Rachel frowned. "It's Finn."
"All the more reason to answer the question. Beats the hell out of me what you see in him."
"He's handsome, for one." Rachel said, holding up a finger.
Santana grimaced. "Okay…"
"He's….He's sweet and funny, like he can be really goofy sometimes which makes me laugh harder than I do with anyone else. He protects me, and supports me and believes in me."
Santana nodded. "Fair enough. Do you think you guys are good together?"
"Yes" Rachel nodded.
"So why do you think you keep breaking up?"
Rachel chewed her lip nervously, shaking her head.
"I don't know" she finally cried.
"Okay." Jesus stopped again, so did Rachel and Santana. Santana grabbed Rachel's shoulder, turning her to face her. "When you think of your future, is he there with you?"
"Of course." Rachel said, like it was obvious.
"And what's he doing?"
Rachel frowned. "I don't understand."
"When you picture your future, what is Finn doing in it?"
"He's…" Rachel closed her eyes, picturing it. "He's my husband,"
"Mhmhh" Santana nodded.
"And I come home from closing night of my production on Broadway, and he's made dinner and got me flowers, which our son is holding out for me."
Rachel opened her eyes, smiling.
"Mhmh" Santana nodded pursing her lips. "That's your problem right there."
"What?" Rachel asked in alarm. "A son?"
"No" Santana snapped, quickly becoming exasperated. "You don't know what Finn would be doing in your future. He's there as your husband and a father, but not as a person with a life of his own." She held up her hand when Rachel went to speak. "When Brittany and I used to talk about our future, we talked about everything. We talked about us being married and having kids, yeah, but we also talked about how I'd be a famous singer and Brittany would be a famous dancer. We talked about how we'd tour the world, Brittany with the most famous musicians and how I'd win awards and dedicate them to her. There was more to our vision than just our relationship. We both had personal ambitions as well. Now obviously, you and Finn have talked about your dream. About New York and Broadway. What's Finn's?"
Rachel looked down, shaking her head.
"He doesn't really have one. He says he'll find something to do."
"Rachel, Finn's a sweet guy. True. Handsome….eh….but funny and protective fine, I'll give it to him. I'm sure he makes a very good boyfriend. But marriage is so much more. You're turning two lives into one and loving each other isn't all there is to it. Finn isn't ambitious. He doesn't have big dreams or even an idea of what he wants to do. He's happy being small time Lima Ohio guy, working at Burt's shop. Isn't he managing it now?"
Rachel nodded. Burt asked him to take on more of a role cause he might want to retire soon.
"See. What does that mean for you? You were never meant to stay in Lima Berry. You were born for the big city life. You picture yourself in a penthouse in New York, wearing designer clothes and rubbing elbows with other celebrities. That's not the life Finn wants."
"But he doesn't hold me back. He pushes me towards my dream."
"Sure" Santana nodded. "Because he loves you and isn't a bad guy. But he holds you back unintentionally. Your love for him holds you back. You can't make yourself too big because then he doesn't fit into your life anymore. That's why in order for you to shine, he has to keep letting you go. Setting you free. Sound familiar?"
Rachel's eyes filed with tears as she nodded.
"Oh Rach" Santana wrapped her arm over Rachel's shoulder. "See this is why I said I didn't want to say anything. What do I know anyway."
"A lot." Rachel chocked.
Santana shrugged.
"But didn't Brittany let you go too. She sent you to New York."
"Yeah. Only because if I stayed she really would be holding me back. I wouldn't be doing anything in Lima, and there wasn't the option for her to come to New York with me at the time. She needed to graduate first."
"But-"
"Look I'm not saying that Finn didn't do the right thing sending you to New York the firs time. I think getting married straight out of high school would have derailed your career. What I'm saying is that right now, there's no reason for you guys to not be working on getting to your dreams together. I think deep down Finn doesn't want to live in New York. He knows it's where your dreams are and where you see yourself for all eternity, and he loves you and wants to be with you so he keeps trying to move there, but….I don't know. I think until he finds a reason to be there that's not you, or gets clear on what he wants to do with his life, you two can't work."
Jesus came walking up to Santana, dragging his feet.
"Mami" he said, raising his arms. Santana picked him up. "I'm cold."
"Yeah" she nodded, pulling his beanie over his ears. "Let's go home huh?"
He nodded, dropping his head onto her shoulder. She and Rachel turned to start walking back to the car.
"Here" Santana pulled the phone from Jesus' limp hand and handed it to Rachel.
"Thanks" Rachel said quietly. "So just….let me get what your saying straight. You think I should break off the engagement?"
"I'm not going to tell you what you should do. Only you know what your relationship needs. All I can do is offer advice."
"And your advice is…?"
"Talk about your future, properly. Not just the romantic stuff but the real stuff. Ask him what he sees for himself once you guys are married. It'll give you both clarity on where you're headed."
Rachel nodded slowly, licking her lips.
"I love Finn."
"I know. And I know he loves you too."
"Do you think we'll make it?"
Santana took a moment to answer. Her car was in sight before she'd spoken.
"I think that as long as both of you really want it, then yes. You'll make it work, because there won't be any other option."
She unlocked the car and strapped Jesus into his car seat. As she got into the driver's seat, Rachel reached out and touched her arm.
"What?" Santana asked, frowning skeptically.
"I'm really glad you came for the reunion Santana."
"Oh" Santana pulled her seat belt and clicked it in. "Well you can thank Brittany."
"I have." Rachel said, smiling. "But I wanted you to know. I've really missed you all these years."
Santana started the car, poking her head out of the window as she reversed so she didn't have to look at Rachel.
"You can say you missed me too, it's okay" Rachel laughed.
"No." Santana shook her head, facing forward again. "I can't say that, but I can say that there really isn't anyone like you and in small doses - " She held out a hand, "You're actually not that bad."
Giggling, Rachel turned to look at Jesus.
"Did you hear that? Your mum missed me."
"What did I tell you about Rachel Jesus?"
"She had too much special juice" Jesus yawned.
"That's right." Santana nodded. "So don't believe a word she says."
The last glee club meeting Santana would probably ever attend. It made her kind of sad. As much as she wanted to go home and back to her normal life, she also really enjoyed being back in the choir room. It wasn't the favourite part of her day in high school for nothing. There was an energy that fell over the choir room when everyone got into it, a sense of freedom and pure joy. All the stereotypes and social struggle that plagued them out in the halls, once they entered the choir room it just became about music and their love of it.
It was almost exactly what Santana needed to put into perspective the burn-out she was feeling before coming to Lima. The lack of enthusiasm she was feeling about her job, before her temporary bought as a workaholic which was driven by misguided attempts at getting back at her grandmother. She'd been thinking about taking a break. About stepping back from music altogether.
But being back in the choir room and helping Roderick and Sly gave Santana a little perspective. She'd lost sight of why she wanted to be a musician in the first place. She wasn't doing it for the love of it, or because it gave her a feeling of happiness and freedom that nothing else did. She wasn't doing it because music and singing gave her a way to express herself when words and actions failed her. She was doing it because she was expected to. Because fans wanted an album, and her label wanted another hit and Emma was always in her back about staying relevant.
She was grateful of course, for the success she'd had, but now Santana knew she had been right. Before her grandmother got into her head and messed her up she had been right in wanting to take a break.
It was a actually sad when the bell rang, signaling the end of their glee lesson. Santana actually felt sad.
As everyone talked and laughed and said their goodbyes, Santana pulled Sly and Roderick out of the choir room, not speaking until they were at the bleachers.
"Is this where you finally give us some weed?" Sly asked.
"You wish" Santana laughed. "No. We're taking one more trip to Snixxville."
Sly and Roderick smiled.
"Okay."
They sat down. Santana took out a bag she'd stashed there earlier, handing them both a glass and pulling out a bottle of champagne.
"Oh yeah!" Sly said happily.
"That's the closest to alcohol you'll ever get from me."
"I'll take it."
Roderick sipped it hesitantly.
"What do you think?" Santana asked.
"It's….It doesn't taste like I was expecting."
"That's your first lesson in adulthood then." Santana poured herself a glass and set down the bottle. "Alcohol will never taste like you expect it to."
"It's always worse." Sly said, taking a bigger sip than Roderick. "So what's the agenda for this meeting?"
"I wanted to have one last chat with you guys…. Make sure I say goodbye properly."
"That's really sweet of you." Sly said, smiling down at her champagne. "I'm really glad I got to meet you. Like yeah, you're Santana Lopez and you're about the coolest famous person out there," Santana shrugged, winking, "whatever" Sly laughed. "But you also…You helped me…I didn't really know I needed it but you helped me."
"I'm glad." Santana said sincerely. "I needed someone like me when I was in high school, so…I'm glad I could be there for you."
"I'm not ready to be out." Sly glanced up to catch Santana's reaction. She nodded. Of course she understood not being ready to come out. "I'm not like hiding it or anything….I just don't want people talking about it. You know Lima."
"Oh yeah" Santana nodded.
"I figure….it's not anyone's business for now. If I get a girlfriend or…something" Sly shrugged, turning slightly red.
"You'll come out when you're ready." Santana said, gripping Sly's arm. "Whenever you feel that is. Girlfriend or no."
Sly nodded. "Anyway…I have less shame and anger than I did before I met you. I was pretty messed up about my parents sending me here and….all that so…" She took a deep breath and lifted her eyes to Santana's. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Santana said as sincerely as she'd ever said anything in her life. "And if you ever need to talk or hear awesome gay advice, call me."
"Call you?" Sly chuckled. "Am I supposed to google your number or something?"
"No" Santana laughed, rolling her eyes. "Here, give me your phone."
Eyes wide, Sly quickly unlocked her phone and handed it to Santana.
"Now don't do anything like give this out for money, cause I'll be royally pissed."
"You're giving me your number?" Sly breathed.
"Yes." Santana smiled, handing her back the phone. "But don't spam me."
Sly laughed, staring down at her phone. "No spamming and no giving it out. Got it. But I can actually like…text you?"
"Yeah." Santana poked Roderick's arm. "You too quiet guy. Hand it over."
Blushing, Roderick took out his phone and gave it to Santana.
"I know I don't have to worry about you blowing up my phone."
"Yeah" he chuckled. "But this is so cool of you. I thought you'd be happy to finally be free of us."
"Real talk, I was never meant to stay in Lima. Being back has been weird for me. But I'm glad I came. I'm glad I got to be in glee club again and remember what it felt like to be a teenager. You forget after a whole you know."
"You're not that old" Sly rolled her eyes. "You're not even thirty."
"Shhh" Santana hissed. "We don't say that word."
Sly and Roderick looked at each other, confused.
"Thirty?" Roderick asked.
"Shut up!"
"You're such a weirdo" Sly laughed, shaking her head.
"I hope I'm half as cool as you when I'm almost thi-" Santana glared at him, making him change his words mid-sentence. "When I'm in my late twenties."
"This particular brand of coolness was born, not made. Sorry honey." Santana flicked her hair. "But you wanna know a secret?"
Sly and Roderick nodded.
"Once you're out of high school, all everyone really wants to be themselves. That's what makes you cool."
"I wish you could stay on as our glee club director instead of Rachel" Roderick blurted out. His cheeks immediately flushed red and he hid behind his glass, pretending to take a long sip.
"Obviously." Santana said, shrugging. "I've always been better than that Oompa Loopma."
Roderick snorted, finally putting down the glass.
"I know I'm hotter and cooler and just generally better company than her, but you could learn a lot from Rachel. She has an amazing work ethic, she did even in high school. She never stops working for what she wants, and that's how you succeed. That's what separates good from great. Look at Beyonce."
"True" Sly nodded.
"Rachel also has a stage presence that is undeniable. She knows how to own the stage and make sure everyone's eyes are on her. Even when she was at her most insufferable and I hated everything about her, I couldn't help loving her performances. It made me hate her more, but if you want to perform, that's a skill you need, and there's no one better qualified to teach you."
"Noted" Roderick said.
"And" Santana pointed at both of them. "She has thick skin."
"Thick skin?" Roderick asked.
"Yeah. She doesn't let anything stop her. Not anyone's criticisms, hateful comments, bullying, doubts, not even her own fear or insecurities. Like the rest of us, she gets knocked down. Right now she's in a bit of a slump but I have no doubt I'll be hearing about her on Broadway in no time, cause she's a fighter. Nothing is going to keep her from her goals, and I hope she manages to pass that on to you guys."
"You almost sound like you admire her" Sly said, frowning thoughtfully. "I thought you hated her."
Santana sighed. "If you tell anyone this, I'll deny it" she held up a warning finger, "but I don't hate Rachel."
"Really?" Sly and Roderick gasped at the same time.
"I know, I know, embarrassing." Santana drained her glass and set it on the floor. "But Rachel was one of my closest friends for a while. She and Kurt were all I had at one point, and when it would have been perfectly understandable for them to turn their backs on me – I mean I wasn't exactly raking up a lot of good karma in high school – they didn't. They helped me, and I can never forget that. So no, I don't hate Rachel. I actually kind of like her. She's a good person to have in your corner."
"Wow" Roderick said.
"Did not see that coming."
"Well it's true. one So maybe listen to what she's saying every once in a while. She knows what she's talking about. She brought us here to mentor you guys after all didn't she?"
"Well shit. I didn't think of that." Sly raised her glass. "To Mrs Berry then."
Roderick raised his glass as well. Rather than pour it out, Santana picked the entire champagne bottle and raised it to touch the other two glasses.
"I can't believe I'm saying this," she shook her head. "But here's to Rachel Berry."
They were leaving Lima tomorrow. Their plane left at 4 pm, which didn't give Santana and Brittany much time to pack and say their goodbyes. Santana felt excited. She was so ready to leave Lima and all it's drama behind. Brittany was talking about coming back during summer, but Santana wasn't ready to think about coming back yet. She needed to get back to the fast-paced, busy life they had in San Jose, let her recently opened wounds heal a bit before she could process the idea of coming back.
Their kids were excited about going back home too. Jesus and Kyler were excited to go back to school and see their friends, Sophia was imagining the welcome party her dolls would throw her.
But they had to pack first. Something that was made hard by the constant visitors they kept getting.
"Britt will you get that?" Santana sighed, as she tried to reach a pair of sneakers under the kids' bed.
"Sure" she heard Brittany walk out.
"Why is the shoe even so far under here" She muttered, lying flat on her stomach and stretching her hand out as far as it could go. She felt the tip of the shoe. Just close enough to feel but not enough for her to get a good hold of.
"Santana"
Santana frowned, pausing.
"Santana?"
"She's in there" Brittany said.
Santana pulled herself from under the bed just as Kurt walked into the room.
"What are you doing on the floor?" Kurt asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"Looking for something." Santana stood up. "What are you doing here?"
"Well Blaine and I are leaving later today. We drove so…we need to get on the road."
"Oh" Santana nodded. "Let's go into the living room."
She led Kurt out of the room into the living room where Brittany was picking up the last of the stray toys and adding them to the growing pile on the couch.
"How are you guys going to take all this stuff back with you?"
"We bought another suitcase. We're just going to pay for extra baggage."
"Oh, you didn't hire a plane?" Kurt asked, sitting on the edge of the couch.
"We should have" Brittany said. "But we didn't think about it."
"He was mocking us babe" Santana said, as Kurt laughed.
"Oh. Well then…" Brittany turned to throw the pile of toys in her hands at Kurt.
"Hey! Hey!" Kurt shrieked, standing up to escape the assault. "I bruise easily."
"That's what you get" Santana laughed, walking to the kitchen.
"All I wanted to do was come say hi before you two disappear back to your perfect lives."
"Oh, that reminds me." Santana came back into the living room. "How are things going with you and Blaine Warbler."
"Blaine Warbler" Kurt chuckled. "I'll never get over how weird that sounds now. I haven't thought of him as a Warbler in years."
"You should get him to buy his old uniform. To spice up the bedroom." Brittan said.
Kurt's mouth fell open.
"Brittany!"
"What?" Brittany asked innocently. "Didn't you think the uniform was hot?"
Kurt spluttered, looking to Santana for help.
"Well?" Santana asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I-I…That's…That's not-"
"Oh come on Kurt." Santana laughed, heading back into the kitchen. "We're all adults here. You can admit you think your husband is sexy in uniform. I promise you won't combust."
"Just stop it." Kurt finally said, fanning his red face. "You'd be uncomfortable if I put you on the spot about what you think of Brittany in your old cheerleading uniforms."
"No I wouldn't." Santana came out with her arms full of Mateo's baby bottles. "If Brittany surprised me in our Cheerio's uniforms I'd be so turned on…." Santana looked at Brittany, imagining her in it. She bit her lip. "Damn, now I want to see that."
"Noted" Brittany smirked. "I wouldn't mind seeing you in yours either. Maybe your Louisville one, that was so sexy."
"Maybe you will." Santana wriggled her eyebrows. "Your birthday's coming up."
"Score" Brittany breathed. "Maybe I won't wear any underwea-"
"No, no!" Kurt threw his hands over his ears. "Stop for the love of the innocent."
"There are no innocent here Kurt" Santana laughed. She winked at Brittany and strode back into the kids' room.
"You two are impossible." Kurt shook his head.
"I think it's weird that telling people that your husband turns you on makes you uncomfortable. He's supposed to get you all hot and bothered." Brittany said.
"He does…" Kurt's cheeks flushed as he spoke. "But, it's nobody's business."
"Yeah but why are you hiding it. Is it cause you guys are in a bad place."
"We're…" Kurt sighed. "We're going to be fine."
"Really?" Brittany asked hopefully.
Santana came out of the room, sitting next to Kurt and crossing one leg over the other.
"Really what?"
"Kurt and Blaine are okay."
"That's great" Santana said.
"No, we're not okay. Yet. But we will be."
Brittany frowned. "Can you see the future?"
Santana grinned at Brittany.
"We decided we're going to do couples therapy when we get back to New York."
"Oh" Santana was shocked. She hadn't been expecting to hear couples' therapy. She didn't know anyone who'd been in couples' therapy. But she'd done normal therapy, and that had worked. She hoped it did the same for Kurt and Blaine.
"That's good." She said.
"Yeah." Kurt sighed again. "We talked, like you guys said we should."
"And?" Brittany asked, sitting on his other side.
"And we both agreed that something was off, but that we didn't want to get divorced. We love each other and stand by our decision to get married. We want to be together forever."
"Aw yay" Brittany said, taking Kurt's hand. "Good. I like you two together. You're so cute."
"Thanks?" Kurt chuckled. "Anyway that's why we decided to do therapy. Hopefully it'll help us see why there's been this disconnect between us lately."
"I'm glad you're going to fight for your relationship Kurt." Santana said seriously. "If Blaine makes you happy, which I really think he does, then you shouldn't let him go."
"I won't" Kurt shook his head. "Thanks to you guys."
"Us?" Brittany asked, frowning.
"Yeah. I was just getting more and more frustrated with Blaine. We were fighting a lot and I was scared it was going to lead to us splitting up, just to have some peace. But seeing you guys and your family after all this time reminded me that there's so much more to come. We're in a rough place now, but we have forever. A couple months of fighting isn't worth all the years yet to come. It's not worth the family we're going to start."
"Aww…You two will be such cute dads" Brittany gushed. "You better invite us to the baby shower!" she slapped Kurt's arm.
"Ouch, okay!" he rubbed his arm, inching away from Brittany. "When Blaine and I have a kid you'll be the first ones we call."
Finally, the day to say goodbye to Lima had come. Brittany and Santana had checked and double checked their room to make sure they hadn't left anything, knowing full well that massive tantrums would ensue if any toys were forgotten.
Santana's parents had convinced them to have breakfast at their house as a final goodbye.
Santana had almost refused to go, but as she was now trying to heal properly and not just forget the past, she decided it would be good to face her parents. She hadn't really talked to them after her second falling out with her grandmother and she felt kind of bad. They'd been right about her needing closure and having things she wanted to say to her abuela, but she also knew her mother would want to talk about it, and Santana didn't want to do that. So she'd been keeping their conversations short, and more often than not about her kids.
When they arrived, she breathed a silent sigh of relief when there were no other cars in the driveway. She hadn't put it past her mother to ambush her one last time.
But the house was empty when they arrived. Like even Santana's parents weren't there.
"Where's abuela?" Kyler asked.
"I don't know papi."
"Maybe it's a surprise party…" Brittany wondered.
"If anyone jumps out at me I can't be held accountable for injuries" Santana said loudly, cautiously walking round the corner to the living room.
But no one jumped out. The house was empty.
"Huh" Brittany said, turning to Santana. "Do you think they forgot?"
"I guess so…"
"Mami can I go in the pool?" Jesus asked.
Santana couldn't see why not. They had at least five hours before they needed to be at the airport. It would be an easier flight if the kids were tired out.
"Sure mijo. Just swim in your underwear, cause you didn't carry your trunks."
Jesus and Kyler quickly stripped themselves and ran to the backyard. Sophia, Santana and Brittany followed them.
It was almost an hour before Santana's parents returned. Santana and Sophia were playing tag while the twins swam and Brittany sat on the edge of the pool, dipping Mateo into the pull occasionally and making him laugh.
"Ah look! Mi familia!" Maribel said loudly as she walked out to the backyard.
"Abuela!" All the kids screamed.
"Come give tu abuela a hug!"
Santana helped Jesus and Kyler out of the pool, laughing as they ran into her mother, making her wet.
"Hi ma"
"Santana" Maribel pulled her into a tight hug. "Thank you for coming."
"Even though you weren't here?"
"Oh. Sorry about that." Maribel hugged Brittany, who had also gotten out of the pool, then took Mateo from her and kissed his cheek. "We had to go get som-"
"Pierces in the house!"
Brittany and Santana looked behind Maribel, to see Ashley walking through the living room.
"Ash?" Brittany frowned.
"Ma what is going on?" Santana asked. Pierce was right behind Ashley, and then in came Susan.
"We're having one last breakfast together" Maribel said, turning to look at the Pierces as well. "As a family."
It was a nice redo of Christmas dinner, which Santana hadn't been in the right headspace to really enjoy. Her kids were so spoilt by all the attention they got from both sets of grandparents and Ashley that Santana felt bad for moving so far away. It would have been nice for her kids to have their family closer, so they could experience this more often. She felt it was good for them to know that they had a village behind them. Cheering for them. It was good for Santana to remember she had a village behind her. Supporting her.
She made a promise to visit more often.
At last though, it was time for them to leave. They all got long hugs and kisses, Jesus cried, refusing to let go of Ashley until she promised to come to San Jose for Brittany's birthday in a few weeks, and Santana's dad cried, shocking them all. He hugged Santana tight to his chest, kissed her head, and cried. Santana couldn't believe it.
"Papi" she said, "I'm not going to war."
"No" he chuckled. "But I feel like I only just got you back. I missed so much….we lost so much time together and now you're leaving."
"You'll just have to make up for it by coming to visit every weekend." Brittany said.
"Yes" Stephen said, kissing Santana's head one more time before letting go. "I think that's the only thing to do."
"Oh god" Santana pretended to groan. "Come on B, let's go before you make any more suggestions."
By the time they were out the door, it had been decided that Brittany's birthday was going to be the excuse for their next family gathering. They made plans to have these family days at least once a month.
Santana wasn't sure they'd keep to that promise, knowing how busy they all got and considering Ashley still had school. At least till June. But she liked that the plans were made. It felt like she was leaving Lima on much better terms than she ever had before. She wasn't broken hearted, wasn't dreading her future or running from her pain. It felt a little like she'd righted the past.
"Hey, can we make a stop before we go to the hotel?"
Brittany, who was driving, glanced quickly at her.
"Sure. Where do you want to go?"
The black door opened only a minute after Santana had rung the bell. The lady who stood before her was tall, with thick brown hair currently tied in a pony. She frowned at Santana for just a second, then her eyes shot open in surprise.
"Santana!" she flung her arms around her shoulders, pulling her into a hug. Santana chuckled, wrapping her arms loosely around the woman's waist. "My goodness it's good to see you. We see you all the time on the tv. I saw you on Ellen!"
"Yeah" Santana beamed. "Yeah I've been busy."
"We're so proud of you. I get to say I know you, which boosts my standing at the club so thank you for that."
"You're welcome. I did it all for you of course."
"Of course."
The woman sighed. "Gosh. Come in-"
"Oh no I can't. I'd love to but I can't. We need to catch a flight."
"Oh you're leaving town?"
"Yeah."
"Oh. Well I'm glad I got to see you while you were here. Did you need something?"
"I wanted to talk to Tyler actually."
"Oh. You two always were close." She beamed. "I think he had a bit of a crush on you actually, to tell you the truth."
"Oh god" Santana groaned. "Don't say that, he's like my brother."
"You're too kind. Shall I go get him for you?"
"Yes please Mrs Kleric."
"Okay. You just wait here."
The door was left open as Tyler's mother went back into the house to find her son. Santana didn't have to wait long for her to return, now with a confused looking Tyler behind her.
"Santana?"
"Hey kid." Santana smiled.
"What are you doing here?"
"Couldn't leave without saying goodbye."
Tyler laughed. "Yeah. Um you wanna come in?"
"No. This will need to be quick."
"Okay?" He shut the door and walked out to sit on the front porch with Santana.
"You know why I've always really like you?"
"Cause I'm the coolest kid you know."
"Of course" Santana rolled her eyes playfully. "Which makes you a lot like me."
"Because you were the coolest kid you knew in your time?" Tyler laughed.
"Exactly" Santana smirked.
"Okay but really," Tyler asked when he'd stopped laughing "Why?"
"We really are a lot alike. We grew up with money and parents not really around much and wrong ideas about what it meant to be successful. You care a lot about appearances and….what other people think. So did I."
Tyler went quiet, turning his head to look away from Santana and clenching his jaw.
"What's your point?"
Santana sighed, her eyes landing on her car, and Brittany inside it.
"I don't know how often I'll be coming back here, but I know it won't be before June, so I have to tell you this now."
"Tell me what?" Tyler looked back at her.
"You're graduating Ty." Santana said, looking him dead in the eye. You don't have that long to keep…pretending. You're about to leave high school, leave Lima for god's sake. None of it…whatever it is that has you denying the truth….none of it matters anymore."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Tyler lowered his eyes to the floor.
"Hey" Santana snapped. Tyler looked up sharply. "Haven't I already told you, you can't bullshit me. I'm the master bullshitter. I've done it all before, and you know what?"
"What?" he mumbled.
"It's not worth it. I've been there, pretending I don't love a Pierce, and it's better on this side, I promise." Santana looked back at the car, catching Brittany looking at her. She smiled. "We all already love you. You're already a part of this family. So just…" She looked at Tyler, nudging his arm with her elbow. "Tell her how you feel!"
Tyler bit his lip, his eyes darting between Santana's.
"Do you really think I should?"
Santana remembered how scared she'd been the day she decided to tell Brittany she loved her. She'd been so nervous she couldn't stop crying, and it hadn't gone anywhere near how she'd hoped, but in the end she was glad she did it. She got to call Brittany her wife because of that day.
"It's scary, I know. It's terrifying. But it worked out for me" Santana shrugged. "But Ashley's my sister so you can trust me on this, I have a good idea that if you tell her, it'll work out for you too. Being scared isn't a reason not to do something. It just means you have something to lose. But Ty…what you have to gain is so much more than you could ever lose. I saw the future I wanted to have with Brittany and I fought for it. The life I have now, I had to make it happen. You can't just sit around and hope one day it works out."
"Yeah" Tyler sighed.
"Tell her." Santana said, standing up. "We're all rooting for you Kleric. The sooner you tell her, the better for all of us."
Brittany eyed her curiously as she got back into the car.
"What was that about?" Brittany asked, starting the car.
"Just giving a lost soul some life advice. You know, like usual."
"About?" Brittany chuckled.
"That's between us lost souls" Santana smirked. "But I can tell you one thing."
"What?" Brittan asked curiously.
"I've decided to take a break. From music."
"Really?" Brittany glanced at her. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I need to step back...be a housewife" Santana smirked, "and just remember why I started doing this in the first place."
"Wow" Brittany breathed. "Okay. If you're sure then of course I'll support you."
"Thanks." Santana took Brittany's hand off the steering wheel, bringing it to her lips and kissing it. "And I'll tell you something else."
"What?" Brittany smiled.
"I finally know what I'm going to name my album"
"Only took you a year!" Brittany laughed. "So what's it called?"
"BSP."
Brittany's smile faded as she turned to look at Santana, mouth slightly open. Santana nodded, kissing Brittany's hand again.
"Mami can we go home now?" Sophia asked, sounding tired.
"Yes baby." Santana turned, looking at her four kids all strapped into their car seats, Mateo fast asleep and Sophia not far behind him. "Let's go home."
{END}
A/N: This story has been amazing fun to write. Thank you to everyone that asked questions, made comments or pointed things out that kept me on my toes. I hope this story did Brittana, their characters and their relationship justice. I promise I tried!
Look out for a third installment. A potential epilogue kind of story. Ideas are brewing and I think it might be fun to see these characters from this story again. Maybe catch up with them in a few years and see how their lives panned out.
For now though, I've been working on another story, it's called 'Unexpected magic' and it's a Brittana in Harry potter universe story. I'll be posting it sometime next week, so check it out if you're interested.
Thank you so much for reading! See you in another story, hopefully ; )
Over and out!