You can bend but never break me
'Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'Cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul
Warning: This chapter mentions violence.
As It Is In Heaven
Chapter 15 – "I Am Woman"
The week leading up to the competition in Houston was both the most stressful and the most rewarding time in Sheldon's life.
He spent all his days at Amy's place working on his arrangements while she was at work. They then would go to choir practice together.
And afterwards, Missy would always come home with them, and they would eat dinner and have a great time together.
It was a joy, watching his sister. Gone was the woman who had hardly looked him in the eyes just a few weeks before. Gone was the fear in her eyes.
Her clothes changed again too. She still covered herself up a lot – and Sheldon feared, she was covering the signs of what she had to endure at home – but she dressed in brighter colors now than before.
One day, Amy urged him on to show Missy the song he had written for her.
"Are you sure?", he had asked nervously. "What about keeping a low profile? She will for sure realize that it is about her."
Amy had nodded thoughtfully.
"She might. But Sheldon, the song is so perfect. And it's not like it mentions the abuse or even her marriage. It is solely about her and her strength. She will love it."
As usual, he took her advice. After all, she had been right before.
So, a few days before the competition, he sat Missy down, telling her, he wanted to hear her opinion on a song that he had written. One that the choir could maybe sing in California, should they win in Houston.
And then he sang it to her. And even if he did not tell her, why he had written it, even if he did not mention the title "Missy's Song", she must have understood, because afterwards she hugged him for a long time, while her body was rocked by sobs.
When she left, Sheldon stayed behind to have tea with Amy, like he usually did.
Because, as much as he loved his sister, he needed at least this little time every day when it was just Amy and him.
"I think, Missy is almost ready to realize she has to make some changes in her life.", Amy said after a while. "And I think your song helped."
"You really think so?", he raised his eyebrows at her, hoping she was right again. After all, she was so much better at reading people than he was.
He would have loved to ask Missy, but he did not dare. Not now that she was finally starting to open up to him again.
And then, a few days later, on the day before the competition, Sheldon got his answer.
It did not start out promising though, as Missy did not show up at Amy's house, despite their agreement to meet up before choir practice that day.
Amy and he waited for over an hour, afraid of what her absence could mean. They tried calling Missy, but there was no answer.
"Do you think Robbie will make her quit the choir again?", Sheldon asked worriedly.
Amy sat down next to him on the piano bench and took his hand.
"Let's hope that isn't the case.", she said, sounding just as anxious as he felt. "Maybe she's just running late. But even if he tries, I am sure, we will figure something out."
With a bad feeling in his gut, Sheldon walked to the rehearsal room at the church with Amy, clutching her hand in his tightly.
She tried, really tried, to distract him from his worries on the way. She even told him about her new made-up language which under normal circumstances would have interested him greatly.
But he couldn't help but wonder, where Missy was and how she was doing.
She wasn't at choir practice either and she did not come running into the room a few minutes late like she so often did.
He exchanged worried looks with Amy and after discussing it with her briefly, they decided to hold of practicing 'I Am Woman', the song she shared with Missy.
The big clock on the wall was ticking and with every minute, it got harder for Sheldon, focusing on conducting.
"Missy, where are you…", he whispered to himself, just before the door flew open and he heard the loud cry of a toddler.
He turned around and his heart made a huge jump in his chest. There was Missy, with a bag over her shoulder, holding a crying Ellis. Joshua was standing next to them.
"Uncle Shelly!", his little nephew yelled excitedly as he ran towards him. "Mommy's taking us on an adventure. We've packed and everything!"
"A… an adventure?", Sheldon replied hesitantly. Did it mean what he hoped it meant?
"Hey, why don't we take a break for a few minutes?", Amy, who had practically run to his side, suggested, and Sheldon could see some of the members nod as they stared at the scene before them.
Ruth took Joshua's little hand and went over to the mini fridge with him to get the beverages and snacks the choir usually stored there. The others followed her right away, not without trying to steal glances at Missy.
"Missy, does that mean… are you…?", Amy stammered and took Ellis from her arms, because she saw how much the young woman was shaking.
"I'm leaving Robbie.", Missy finally breathed out. "I'm sorry for just barging in here, but I did not know where else to go. I can't just take the kids to mom's. I don't know how she would react and Robbie would find us there right away. I just… couldn't think of any other place to come to than here."
"It's fine, Missy.", Sheldon hugged his sister to his chest. "I'm glad you came here. We will figure this out, I promise."
But Missy wasn't done talking.
"Robbie didn't want to let me go to the competition. He said he had been patient long enough, letting me spend my evenings here and having to see me sing in front of the church all the time. No way would he allow his wife to be ogled on some ungodly stage in Houston. And no way was I going to California if we won. I… I told him, he does not own me, and I will do whatever the hell I want. And then he…"
"Then what, Missy?", Amy asked softly.
"Then he…", Missy took a deep breath. "Then, he hit me, and he threatened, he would kick me out. Tell everyone I'm a whore. Take away the children from me and never let me see them again."
She sobbed.
"That's what he always tells me. That I am a worthless whore, and no one would ever be on my side. That I have no place to go. That I'd lose the children if I ever left him and that he would destroy my life."
Sheldon hugged her even tighter than before.
"None of that is true, Missy.", he said firmly. "And you have people on your side. He will never hurt you again. And he is crazy if he thinks he can just take the children from you. He's not even their father. No court would give them to him."
"You can come stay with me for a while, if you want.", Amy offered. "There's enough space for you and the kids. I can sleep on the couch, that's no problem."
"He'll find us there too.", Missy said, a little unsure. "I don't know what to do. This… maybe this was a bad idea."
She started shaking and Sheldon had no idea how to calm her down.
"No, Missy. You are doing the right thing.", he said urgently. "We will figure this out."
"No. No. Maybe I can still go back.", she said, tears running down her face. "Maybe he hasn't noticed yet. I… I…"
"You will not go back, Missy.", Amy said softly. "Sheldon is right. You are doing the right thing here."
"But he'll find me.", Missy cried. "Robbie's right. He always is. What am I supposed to do? Oh, my God, this is crazy. No matter where I'll go, he'll find me anywhere."
"No. He won't."
The three of them turned around surprised and looked at Ruth who had just come back to them.
Sheldon searched the room for Joshua. The boy was sitting at a table, playing a card game with Daniel and Jared who seemed to be doing their best to distract him.
Then he looked back at Ruth who gently held Missy by her shoulder.
"Honey, you are scared. Of course, you are. But we are all here to help you. You have more options than you think."
"O… options?", Missy asked.
"Yes.", Ruth nodded firmly. "First of all, I think you should call your mother. I know Mary. No matter what she thought of Robbie in the past, I am sure, if you tell her, how bad things have been, she will be by your side through all of this."
Missy pulled away from Sheldon and turned to the older lady.
"I've been thinking this too lately. But what if not? I cannot take my children to my mother unless I know for sure. I cannot risk it."
Even though Sheldon wanted to believe that his mother would help Missy, he agreed. Missy only had this one chance to do this right.
"What else do you suggest, Ruth?", he asked as calmly as he could muster.
"Well… until things have settled down, you can always come to my place. In fact, I think we should take Joshua and Ellis there right now. Just in case if Robbie comes looking for you, Missy, they should be far away from the situation."
Sheldon stared at the old lady. He had always liked her, since joining the choir. But right now, she reminded him so much of his meemaw, even if she was at least twenty years younger.
It sounded like a plan that could actually work. And no way Robbie would ever look for his family at Ruth's place.
"Thank you, Ruth.", Amy said. "I think that is a great idea."
Ruth nodded.
"And then, after the children are safe at my place, the two of you will take Missy to Mary and y'all will have a long, serious talk. Because, Missy, while you are welcome to stay at my place for as long as you need to, let me tell you this. I've known Mary for so many years. She won't be turning her daughter away in her time of need."
Joshua was thrilled when they told him he was going to have a sleepover at 'Auntie Ruth's house'. He knew Ruth from Sunday school and loved her very much. And after she promised him home-made cookies and as many bedtime stories as he wanted, he decided that his adventure was starting out perfectly.
"Do you want me to come with you?", Daniel, who had just lost his third card game against Joshua asked Ruth. But she shook her head.
"No. You stay here and look after Missy."
"I'll go get my car to drive Ruth and the children.", Amy whispered to Sheldon. "Maybe the rest of you can calm down Missy a bit and when I'm back, I'm taking you both to Mary."
Sheldon nodded, grateful for her quick thinking.
Even though it was a short walk from the church to their homes, he agreed that Missy or her children shouldn't be walking anywhere. Not with the possibility of Robbie coming to look for her.
Not ten minutes later, Missy had handed Ruth the diaper bag and Amy had left with her and the children.
No one was in the mood for practicing anymore, so they sat down at the long table where they usually took their breaks.
"You're doing the right thing, Missy.", Jared told her as he sat down next to her. "What Robbie did to you was horrible. If you ever need anything, just tell me. I can go to his house anytime and pick up the rest of your things, if you want."
Sheldon looked at him in surprise.
"Isn't Robbie your friend?", he asked, trying not to sound too condescending.
"He is… or was.", Jared admitted. "We became friends in High School. I hated what he did to other kids, but I thought by being his friend, I would be safe, if anyone ever found out that…. I…", he stopped and sighed. "I am so sorry, Missy, for not speaking up sooner. I knew how he was, and I should have called him out the minute I saw the signs of what he did to you. But well… I guess, I was always a little scared of him."
A few others of the younger choir members nodded in agreement. It seemed they all felt the same way.
"I owe you an apology too, Sheldon.", Jared continued. "For the way I behaved in High School."
"You didn't do anything.", he dismissed him brusquely. He did not like to talk about that time in his life.
"Exactly.", Jared agreed. "I did not do anything. I should have tried to stop him. Robbie was mean to many kids at school. But to you, he was the worst. I think he was jealous of you, because you were… well, special. He went too far. You were such a small boy, and no one helped you. I am sorry, Sheldon. For my part in all of it."
"I am sorry too.", a voice came from farther down the table. It was Jeremy.
"I am sorry, Missy.", he continued. "I knew what was happening. But I looked away. I think everyone knew how Robbie is. But everyone treated it as a secret. As if it was something to be ashamed of. But you should not be ashamed. Robbie should be. And all of us too, for not stepping up for you sooner."
One by one, everyone in the choir came over to hug Missy and tell her she'd be alright and that they would support her every step of the way. Sheldon could see the tears it brought to her eyes.
"I should have been here.", Sheldon finally said when everyone else was done. "I am sorry, Missy. I haven't been here in too many years. I haven't kept in touch with you. I should have come to your wedding. I should have figured out sooner that something was up."
"Sheldon, don't.", she said softly. "I know why you didn't come to my wedding. You never liked being here in Texas and you were going through some things yourself. And how could you have known something was up, all the way in California? But for what it's worth, I would have never dared to leave Robbie without you being there for me these past months."
Oh, what he would have given for preventing all of this. But at least it was over now.
"It's a shame you never liked being here in Texas, Sheldon.", Jeremy stated. "Because we sure as hell are glad, you're here now.", Jeremy said and everyone else hummed in agreement.
"Of course, you are.", Sheldon smiled softly. "Without me, you wouldn't be winning the competition tomorrow."
"Well, that too.", Jared agreed. "You worked wonders on this choir. We've never had so many members. You are brilliant, Sheldon, the way you work on the music is exceptional. But it's more than that. Now that I've gotten to know you, I have to say, you are a pretty cool person. And even if we come in last tomorrow, I enjoyed working with you on this."
"Really?", Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "You think I am a cool person? I mean, I am. But… usually people disagree on that pretty strongly."
Again, the others hummed in agreement.
"You can't tell?", Daniel asked surprised. "Sheldon, it has been so pleasant here with you as our conductor. You must know how much we all love you."
"I can never tell.", Sheldon blurted out. "Do you have any idea, what it's like, standing in a room from of people, not being able to tell if their smiles are genuine? If they mean what they are saying or if they are being sarcastic? It's… stressful."
He breathed out deeply.
Where did that come from? He only talked about stuff like that with his closest friends. And only if he absolutely had to.
This was probably the moment when everyone would start laughing at him and telling him he was a weirdo.
But that did not happen.
"I have to admit, I often don't really understand you, Sheldon.", Jeremy told him instead. "And if I am honest, I always used to think you are crazy. But the truth is, I have learned to respect you a great deal. Not many people can do what you do."
Sheldon had no idea how to react, when one by one, others approached him and told him basically the same thing in their own words.
Sometime during that commotion, Amy came back and sat down next to him.
"What's happening here?", she asked, and he shook his head. He didn't even know where to begin.
But he knew one thing. No matter how he felt about it in the past, he really enjoyed being here in Medford now. And she was the main reason for it.
He grabbed her hand and held it under the table. And he didn't even worry about how that could look like. Maybe it was time to accept that things between them indeed were what they looked like.
"Did everything go alright?", he asked as she intertwined their fingers.
"Yes. Joshua was so excited. He kept talking about what cookies to bake tonight the whole way to Ruth's home."
He sighed relieved. It sounded like his nephew didn't really know what was going on, which was probably for the best.
He lifted his head then to listen to the conversation that was taking place around them.
Something strange was happening. Somehow, people started opening up to each other.
One after the other, the members of the choir started sharing their insecurities.
Jeremy told them how his father had always pushed him to be more successful. How he had pushed himself in the process and how disappointed he had always been in himself, because he ended up as a small business owner in the town he had grown up in, while his little sister had opened her own dentist practice in Dallas. How he compensated that by being competitive in every aspect of his life, including the choir.
Olivia, who had been silent up until now, confessed, how she was struggling with being married to a pastor. How she wished, he wouldn't always bring religion into their home. How she felt as if he saw it as a sin to desire his own wife and how he had trouble telling her the things he wanted. How that made her frustrated and how she was jealous of others that could live more freely than her.
His mouth dropped open when Daniel, the oldest member of the choir stood up. He swore everyone to secrecy as he told them how he had always been in love with 'a childhood friend'. All his life. But how he had never possessed the courage to tell her, afraid of losing the friendship they had shared all their lives. It was not hard to guess, who he meant.
Sheldon side-glanced at Amy. Oh boy, he knew exactly how the old man felt. And finally, he realized, he had to do something about it. Before it was too late.
"Amy…", he whispered to her and swallowed deeply. "There's something I… I've been wanting to tell you for a while. And I think… hope… that now is the right time."
She turned to him and blinked.
"Yes, Sheldon?", she whispered back.
She seemed to be a little nervous. But so was he and he gripped her hand tightly.
But then he was interrupted as Jared, who had been silent for a while, stood up.
"There's something I want to say.", he said, and they both turned to him, as did the rest of the choir.
Amy tightened her hold of Sheldon's hand as Jared continued.
"I am gay.", he said firmly. "I've known since I was a teenager, but I never dared to tell anyone in this town. I am in love with a wonderful man from Houston and he will be rooting for us tomorrow at the competition. I'm sorry, Dad.", he said to Jeremy. "Your attempts to set me up were never going to work. And I am sorry for having you find out this way in front of everyone. But I am done hiding. And this is who I am."
"Finally.", Amy whispered beside him.
Everyone else went silent and Sheldon was starting to fear that this would be too much for this small-town Baptist church choir, especially when Jeremy stood up next to his son and stared at him.
Amy squeezed Sheldon's hand almost to the point of pain.
"That man from Houston… does he make you happy?", Jeremy asked, his voice sounding strained.
Jared nodded. "He does. Very much so."
Jeremy took a few deep breaths.
"Well son, this is… unexpected. And it might take a while for me to fully wrap my head around it. But I hope you know that all I want is for you to have a happy life. And if you let me, I would like to meet this man who is making you so happy."
Olivia chuckled, which seemed to break the tension in the room a little.
"Oh please, can I tell my husband? He'll probably faint."
Jared laughed heartily. He looked so relieved, it was heartwarming.
But then his smile froze, and a shocked expression appeared on his face.
Sheldon followed his gaze and jumped up immediately. As did most other members of the choir.
Robbie.
He was standing in the doorway, his nostrils seemed to be flaring and his face was deep red.
"Missy. Get in the car. Right now.", he barked from the door before he stalked inside with long strides.
Missy, who had turned white as a sheet stood there frozen and Sheldon was secretly calculating the odds he could beat Robbie in a fist fight – with results that weren't making him feel good.
But then, Jared emerged from the crowd and stood before Missy.
"Go away, Robbie.", he said firmly. "She's not going with you. Never again."
"Oh really?", Robbie sneered. "And who's going to stop me from just getting her?"
"I am.", Billy Sparks answered and stood beside Jared. "Missy is my friend. I will not let you hurt her."
"So am I.", Jeremy said and took his place next to his son. Missy took the chance and hid behind the three tall men. Even Robbie seemed to be intimidated for a second, but he recovered quickly.
"Missy!", he yelled, trying to get around the men who were protecting her. "You're just making it worse. You're my wife. You belong to me. So, get in the car. NOW!"
What happened then was more than Sheldon could ever have expected.
One by one, the members of the choir came forward. Taking each other's hands. Amy and himself were the last to join them. They all stood before Missy to keep Robbie away from her, looking at him determined.
Try to get past us. They all seemed to say. She's one of us. We're protecting her.
"You should leave now Robbie.", Missy said from behind them. "It's over. I'm not coming back to you. Ever. I won't let you hurt me again."
Robbie chuckled sarcastically. It was the most evil sound, Sheldon had ever heard.
"Oh really?", he scoffed. "And where are you going to go? You are worthless, Missy. And you have nothing. Who's going to help you, huh? A twice divorced woman with two children? You will lose everything if you don't come with me right now."
Sheldon was about to yell at his former bully. Tell him that he was the one who was worthless.
But then they heard another voice coming from the entrance.
"Don't you dare talk to my daughter this way."
"Mother!", Sheldon exclaimed, but she ignored him.
"I did not want to believe it. I wanted to believe you were a good man, Robbie."
"Mary…", Robbie said, his voice suddenly much gentler, apparently still trying to impress his mother-in-law. "You won't believe those things these crazy people are saying about me, right? You know I was always good to your daughter. I took her in when she had no one. I turned her into a better Christian. A better mother. A better woman."
"All you did was scare her and bully her into submission.", Sheldon, who couldn't hold back any longer, shouted at him. Robbie shot him an evil look in return.
"I couldn't have said it better.", Mary agreed. "My daughter never needed a man to make her better. She was always a wonderful person, and she is the best mother her children could wish for. And as for being a good Christian, well, Robbie, just look around. A good Christian honors his wife. Honors his community. But your wife is scared of you. Your community has to shield her from you. You should be ashamed of yourself. As should I for taking so long to realize who you really are."
"But Mary.", he tried to protest.
"I don't want to hear any more of you.", Mary said firmly. "You will never approach my daughter or her children again."
Robbie took a last look at Missy who peeked out from behind Sheldon.
"This is not over.", he spat. "I have connections. I will destroy you, Missy. Mark my words. You're going to regret this. Buckle up, Missy. Cause you are going to lose everything. And when this is over, you will never see your children again."
With that he left, and a deep sigh went through the room.
Missy was still white as a sheet, but Mary went up to her and held her tight.
"Come on, darling.", she said softly. "Let's just go home."