The third impact leaves a mess that a very confused Shinji has to clean up.

As the quiet giantess gathered up all the souls of humanity and spread her wings, the Anti-AT fields spread also. Her being fused with the lance she had consumed with her head, and her perception phased reality.

Between her hands, the black moon swirled with souls. Consumed with purpose… she… she needed to…

Rei couldn't stop the learned human compulsion of raising a finger to her nose to stop the sneeze, but it was too late. The eldritch blast out of her megalithic nose directly into the black moon sent souls spiraling through space-time and different chances of reality.

"Oh, shit." The unfathomable deity uttered in the end of days, astonished at the calamity unfolding before her.

Lilith Sneezed

Norsehound

Shinji Ikari woke with a gasp, like he did sometimes. But why now? He was at home in his darkened room. In his own bed!

…yes, that's where he was. In Misato's apartment. In the small room set aside for him after Asuka stole his original room. Not that he minded, or had a-

His alarm clock went off and he stopped it with a slap of his palm. Grunting, he got out of bed and patted his feet down the hall and into the kitchen. By reflex he started getting breakfast going.

Pen Pen squawked as he was supposed to, Shinji gave him the fish as he was supposed to. Breakfast was on the table and coffee was rolling.

It was when Shinji finished his breakfast that he realized something was amiss. His roommates weren't up. He got up from the table and walked to the hall.

He knew Misato slept in on occasion, but disturbing Asuka risked the pain of death. So he went to Misato's door and knocked quietly. "Um… Misato? It's time for breakfast. Are you awake?"

The kind of quiet that hung was unnatural. Something was wrong. Shinji opened the door a little wider to peek inside. "M-misato?"

Someone was seated on the cot, hugging her knees. Shinji opened the door to inspect the intruder and blinked, startled.

The girl that hugged her knees was staring blankly into space, her eyes wide in shock. Though she had Misato's hair she seemed a lot younger. She was dressed in a white pajama set.

Shinji stumbled backward in surprise and fell upon the floor. "M-misato?"

The girl was too shell shocked to respond.

He shook his head. He had to get Asuka. This was too confusing.

He pounded on her door. "Asuka, Asuka, get up! Something's happened to Misato!"

He heard harsh footfalls approaching the door and Asuka shoved it open. She was startled at Shinji, but demanded, "Who the hell are you? And where the hell am I?"

Shinji stared with wide-eyed surprise. The plugsuit she was wearing was totally unfamiliar to him, but he did recognize German words printed on it.

"So THAT's Misato Katsuragi?" Asuka demanded, hands on hips. She had changed into her yellow sun dress, the one Shinji first met her in.

'Misato', if that's who she was, at least could be coaxed to get up and sit at the kitchen table where she stared at her breakfast.

"I t-think so." Shinji replied, "I just don't understand what happened to her. Sh-she should be an adult! Not… not our age!"

"Well, obviously. So whoever this is, it isn't Misato. You found a convincing look alike though. This could have been what Misato looked like when she was younger."

Shinji did a double take. "Wh-what are you talking about?"

"Look, what's all this about?" Asuka asked, "I haven't seen Misato in two years. And you STILL haven't given me your name, idiot."

Shinji blinked, staring at Asuka. "I'm Shinji… Shinji Ikari! We me on the Over the Rainbow!"

Asuka's arms were crossed. "Still not ringing any bells."

"You hate my guts for some reason?"

She gave him a puzzled look. "Why would I hate you? I don't even know you!"

"I-I don't know! You just Do. I can't understand you because you won't talk to me!"

"I'm talking now aren't I?"

Behind them, Pen pen walked up to Misaro's chair and stared at her.

"I meant before! After you moved in! Else why do you live in that room?"

"I live in Germany, and that is NOT my room." She adjusted her stance, shifting her weight between legs. "Wait, you're speaking Japanese, is this Tokyo-3?"

"Yes!" Shinji replied, "Tokyo-3! Misato's apartment! You moved in and stole my room to train for the synchronized battle against the Angels!"

Misato blinked with surprise then looked at the penguin. The bird Warked at her.

"Ok then so who are you supposed to be? My physical trainer or something?"

"N-no!" Shinji shook his head, "im-im a pilot! An Eva pilot! Unit 01, third children!"

a/n: as you could guess, hilarity woukd ensue. started off as an interesting idea that deadended with no way to finish. but the irreverent tone and possibility for some age appropreate misashin made it an interesting idea for a time.

as with many of these ideas, not knowing where to go with it has stopped the fic.