3.
Talking Meat
You're born to light it up with your electric love
You make them feel afraid because you're dangerous
"Volkner! Volkner!? VOLKNER, BUDDY! WE'RE GONNA SAVE YOU! INFERNAPE, USE MACH PUNCH! A-AND THUNDER PUNCH! AT THE SAME TIME! GO!"
With a crash, the rusted door burst from its hinges and slammed into the far wall, where it fell and clattered with sparking resignation. Flint and Infernape ignored the damage and focused instead on not tripping down the concrete stairs descending into the belly of the old hydro plant.
"Volkner? Are you okay in here? Did you make any progress with getting the power back on? Or are you a charred-up, sloppy pile of hotdogs fused with melted rubber? 'Cause I really don't need to see that this morning, man. I'd panic and try to bury it in your favorite sandbank, and the birds would eat half of it, then I'd get fined for polluting and it'd be crying on live TV all over again."
"I wanna be buried under my gym, you idiot," a dry voice groaned in the darkness.
"TALKING MEAT!" Flint shrieked.
"Might as well be. You woke me up."
He found his best friend, still more pale than charred, sprawled out on his stomach on the lowest floor and surrounded by rolls of plotter paper. One cheek was pressed snugly into a hand-drawn schematic, excessively intricate and littered with cryptic scribbles about coils and capacitors and "cool purple LEDs."
The rest of the paper was filled with attempts to draw the Cool S — something Flint had actually taught a monkey to draw before he could teach the eccentric electrician.
"The start of another reno bender, I see."
"Shut up," Volkner yawned, struggling to push himself up onto his knees. He squinted at his drawings, the schematic in particular, before letting his gaze drift to the dead transformers.
"The good news is, it's a sunny morning," Flint admitted. "But the whole city went dark a few hours ago. Gonna be a while before the solar panels are charged enough, what with your last gym enhancement sucking them dry."
"Morning… I fell asleep. I swear I was working on it. I can fix it. Just ignore this crap. Why don't you hop on that generator bike upstairs to get the lights on. I'm sure it's a simple fix."
"Just leave it. Nobody remembers the hydros are even here. Didn't you design the tower's solar generator to be super extra efficient? It'll come back online soon, and everything'll be fine. Well, the city will be fine. I got some V Signs shoved in my face on my way over here, so I'm not sure if you'll be fine just yet."
"Somebody brought the V Sign back. Unbelievable."
"Well… it's kind of a positive? Just take away the context, and… yeah, I always find out first when it's brought back."
Volkner sighed, extending his index and middle fingers into the shape of two back-handed V Signs. A symbol that anywhere else meant goodwill, but in Sunyshore was a gesture that meant, roughly, "We really don't find the mannerisms and behavior of our Gym Leader to be satisfactory right now."
"My fangirls invented that Sign. It's been misappropriated."
"You actually care about your fangirls?"
"Only because I have more of them than you."
"In your dreams, Thunder God. I'm with the Four. Now get up. I bet you're sore and hungry after lying on the floor all night. Grandma made too much leek stew to fit in a fridge without power, and Infernape can warm it up for us."
Volkner wasn't surprised when he staggered out into the sunlight and found Nurse Joy idling right where Flint had instructed.
Volkner ate his fill, and fell asleep once again when he reached the guest room in Flint's Ginterson Building penthouse. He awoke a full day later, overheating from Luxray at his left and Raichu on his back. Somewhere, a newscast was murmuring, and he felt the breeze of a rotating fan softly tickling his nose. His feet stretched and curled, rubbing up against a tangle of sweaty gray sheets.
Power's back on, he thought, blinking and fishing with his right arm along the edge of the bed. That tower's the ugliest thing I ever built, but it works.
Feeling his crumpled shirt, he pushed himself up to sit. Raichu squeaked in protest as it tumbled into the mess of blankets. Volkner then checked over his body to make absolutely sure there weren't any stupid new injuries. His hands were still pale and flexible. His ankles were still screwed on straight. No red forks or twisted flesh marred his chest or stomach, and he supposed the few muscle aches left in his face and limbs were from sleeping on schematics.
He pressed two fingers against his neck. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. A normal, steady pulse, not racing nor lagging.
Something exploded outside, shaking the floor, and Volkner hacked out a breath to counteract the sudden spike in his pulse.
He got up and flew to the wall of windows. All of Sunyshore City was below this side of the penthouse. It was almost as high as the promontories, but closer to the action. A vista that had never existed when the old slums huddled on the beach. Flint had scored with this place. Volkner had scored too. He was done living with his parents, and his own apartment outside the gym was nothing more than a bed and desk.
Which was why the guest room in Flint's penthouse had fifty feet of purple LED rope coiled around the entire ceiling and a door made of wires and gears that could only be opened with a small electric shock. Flint's grandma disapproved of this. It clashed with the living room's modern look and made cleaning impossible.
Way down on the front lawn's battlefield, two trainers' Pokémon were clashing. On the left was a girl and her Glaceon, launching a powerful Blizzard attack against a furious fluffy Flareon and… Flint?
"What's Flint doing battling Candice?" Volkner asked no one.
Obliterating her, apparently. At Flint's command, Flareon sprayed a jet of flames from its mouth, vaporizing the ice crystals. Using Quick Attack, it darted forward, then jumped up and corkscrewed through the air, avoiding a barrage of Shadow Balls, before opening up with Overheat and surrounding Glaceon in ten-foot flames.
Leader Candice must have called for Water Pulse in Flareon's idle time, because a sloshing globe pushed its way through the scorching wall, but when the flames were put out, Glaceon was all sooty and still, knocked out where it stood.
"Oh no, you didn't make her sad, Flint, did you? Yeah, go talk to her… give her a hug, that's it. Tell her she battled great. And… come on, Candice, don't be crafty now. Your hands don't need to slip down that far on his back. He's too old for you. Like, four months too old."
Volkner wondered if he should slap himself for that last quip, before his attention was affixed to the small object rising slowly above the battlefield — up past every story of the Ginterson Building to where the Sunyshore Gym Leader stood shirtless in the penthouse.
"Excuse me?"
It was a video drone. But simply shaped — one bulbous sphere with a point on top with four propellers hugging close around the center. The camera was nestled just under the front of the sphere, and the sphere itself… had a fizzly, sparkly, blue-eyed face.
Volkner's face was pressed flush against the glass.
"Rotom. Rotom drone. Frickin' Rotom drone? That is a thing that exists? Did somebody make it? Or did Rotom spontaneously possess a video drone by itself? Ahhhh! Stay here! Don't leave! Rotom! What Type are you!?"
Rotom, the Pokémon possessing the drone, winked at him before drifting off into the sky.
Volkner huffed again. He wrestled his arms into his shirt, made Raichu spark open the door, almost fried Flint's grandma, and had his own difficult time trying not to trip down several flights of stairs to the front lawn. Candice and Flint stood side-by-side, each smiling and making the V Sign as they posed for a photo.
And taking their photo was no human. It was some kind of floating device. Small, rectangular, and coated in light blue silicone, with the signature point jutting from one end and the same fizzly, sparkly, blue-eyed face.
Volkner's pupils shrank to pinpricks, and with a running start, he tackled it, kicking dirt into the two trainers' faces.
"Probably shouldn't have made the Sign," Flint muttered.
"I don't care," Candice pouted, furiously dusting off her skirt. "I know what the sign is supposed to mean. That Sunyshore City is Sinnoh's vacation destination, and its Gym Leader is so amazing that people recognize his power when they greet each other with a V in the air. Praise the Thunder Bringer!"
She raised her arms high and made the Sign with both hands.
"Heck yeah! Let's go Thunder Bringer!" someone cheered in the distance.
"See what I mean?"
"Please don't encourage them. Volk's on thin ice," whispered Flint, cheeks going as red as his afro. "She didn't mean it, Volk. We'll delete the picture."
"Volkner!" Candice squealed, finally recognizing him and tackling him in a hug where he sat in the dirt. Glaceon, now somewhat revived, was freezing his right cheek with its tongue, but he ignored the sensation, instead turning over the Rotom-infected device in his hands.
"What is this," he droned. "How did you get it. Where. How much. How does it work."
Candice had to rip it out of his hands before he would even catch her gaze.
"What," he said.
"You aren't going to greet me first? I came all the way here, knowing I'd potentially have to keep my partners in their Poké Balls instead of letting them sleep in a freezer. I'd like it if the Thunder Bringer himself would welcome me."
"Actually, he's been calling himself a reincarnated Thunder God," said Flint.
"Really!? Oh, it just makes sense, doesn't it, Flint! Look at his eyes! How incredibly blue they are! He's an electrifying old spirit forced to live as a pile of talking meat—"
"Gym Leader Candice of Snowpoint City, as the Gym Leader of Sunyshore City, I welcome you to our beaches. We, uh, we have plenty of melted ice cream to go around," Volkner said, giving her a nod. "Now tell me about your device there. That's, that's a Rotom inside it, right? It's a Pokémon that wreaks havoc by possessing electrical devices. Primarily an Electric-Type, but its secondary Type changes according to whatever object it has in its possession. Like, for instance, I just saw a Rotom drone flying up past the penthouse window, and you have another one. It's so small. Can Rotom even fit in there?"
[I can fit in here just fine, bzzt! It's roomy!]
Volkner blinked. "It talks."
"Yeah it talks! It's my Rotom Phone! Oh, watch this. Rotom, tell me who I'm chilling with," she instructed.
[You are chilling with Flint of the Sinnoh Elite Four, bestie! A Fire-Type specialist. Ace Pokémon: Infernape. Love language: Physical Touch. You've also scored yourself time with Volkner, a strong trainer from Sunyshore City, and an Electric-Type specialist. Ace Pokémon: Electivire. Love language: Gifts. Ztt-ztt!]
"Isn't it cool? It's a new invention from Galar! They were developed after that experimental Rotom Pokédex technology took off, then popularized by the fashionable and photogenic Gym Leader of Hammerlocke, Raihan, and everybody there's got one, right up to Champion Leon himself. Plus you need one to compete in the World Coronation Series, the thing I was just telling Flint about. Oh, oooohhhh, Volkner, you should register to compete! You'd be so good at it! Here, I'll set up a profile for you. I know exactly what you'd want it to say. 'DNI weak challengers! Don't waste my time or I'll build a fifty-foot mech and start another housing crisis!'"
Flint sat down next to them. He watched Volkner's eyes flit over Candice's fingers and how they manipulated the colors on the Rotom Phone's glass screen.
"Ya know… Volkner… and you didn't hear this from me, Candice… I wanted to let you sleep yesterday, but now that you look rested, I have to tell you the Inspection Agency is suspending your gym. It went live on the Sinnoh League website last night. It's all a load of crap, but some officials suspect corruption with how much power the gym was using after that last enhancement, and then the blackout. It hit Pastoria and parts of Veilstone."
"You're saying Volkner's not a Gym Leader anymore," Candice breathed.
"Oh, he's still a Gym Leader by the sheer force of my power with the Four. I'm not gonna let the League fire him. Not when I can argue 'til my hair falls out that when something like this happens, it has nothing to do with Volkner plotting to take over the city or stealing their energy on purpose. They don't know you like I do. But… I'm sorry. It's protocol. The League wants the grid fixed, they want you staying out of it—"
"But I'm the one they should want to fix it. I've implemented most of the new systems—"
"I know, Volkner," Flint spat. He tore at the grass and slapped Candice's hand when she tried to make a halfhearted V Sign again. "It shouldn't be like this. You've done so much good for this city. Your skills as a trainer have made the Sunyshore Gym a hotspot. You made Sunyshore a vacation destination again. Housing crisis or not, my family gets to live up there now instead of in dirty, dangerous shadows because you cleaned up our energy, put some futuristic walkways and some frickin' bike racks in, and it made property values shoot to the moon. Yet League officials look at me like I'm some better citizen, just 'cause I can order a monkey around and with my dumb luck Cynthia saw something in me."
Candice put a hand over his, calming the shaking, at least a little bit.
"So what does this mean," Volkner asked. "I'm supposed to do nothing until the hype blows over? Flint, whether you like it or not, if you lock me in that room up there, I'm gonna build a fifty-foot mech and start another housing crisis. If I don't feel challenged, I either get crazy or depressed."
Flint said nothing. His smokey glare burned with hatred at the grass.
"FLINT!"
"He tried," Candice said. She squeezed Flint's hand again and pressed Volkner back down. Then she pulled her Rotom Phone back out and brought up the display of her profile.
"Volkner, you don't have to sit and do nothing. I registered Flint for the World Coronation Series, and I can register you, too, see? It's a new kind of competition that doesn't depend on yearly League Conferences or Gym Badges. Trainers worldwide constantly compete regardless of whether they're Gym Leaders, or in the Elite Four, or champions, or even just kids with starters. You start off in the Normal Class and have battles to increase your ranking, moving up through the Great Class and Ultra Class until the top eight trainers duke it out in the Master Class. And at the very top is Champion Leon from Galar. He's the current Monarch. The King of all Pokémon battles, at least by this series' standards. I think a Thunder God could rival him in some other ways."
"Sounds interesting as long as I don't have to deal with the kids for too long. You think I'd move up in the rankings fast?"
"Gym Leader to Gym Leader, you totally will. But I just fell down in the rankings because Flint beat me. I challenged him to a battle, and that Rotom Drone came to observe and record us. Those things are so funny. They make your robo-referee look like ancient technology."
"Really?" Volkner said, his lips twitching into a slight grin. "My robo-referee. Ancient technology. While a Rotom in a metal box knows my love language."
"It also knows your star sign, favorite dessert, the best strategies for defeating you, the kind of product you put in your hair—"
"I don't use product. It's all static."
[Updating data on Pokémon Trainer Volkner] Rotom chimed.
"Gym Leader Volkner."
[Data does not compute. According to the Sinnoh Pokémon League website, Volkner is not a Gym Leader. Warning: this is a disputed claim, bro. Stay positive.]
Flint looked ready to cry.
"Holy crap, I want one of those," Volkner almost squealed. "I don't… like… I don't even wanna buy one. I wanna build one myself. A fusion of Pokémon power and human tech. Rotom's devious nature actually being harnessed for a purpose. I need to know how it works. I need to know now, and if I'm not allowed to do anything productive around here, then I need to know right now."
"Bad idea," Flint sighed. "Volk, you grew up fixing Trade Machines. You know every Pokémon caught in a Poké Ball is registered with its trainer's ID. Whether you buy a Rotom Phone or you catch a Rotom yourself to build one, the League would know that an electric menace is in possession of an electric menace. Not good for the corruption investigation."
"We could travel together," Candice suggested. "Just switch between profiles on my Rotom Phone for when you wanna challenge somebody."
"Or I could evade the League and build a Rotom Phone," Volkner said.
"No, Volky. The gears are turning the wrong way in there. I can see them," Flint said.
The two stared each other down, gray burning into blue and blue sparking back, while Candice sat idly not understanding what gears or engines were making the smoke in their heads churn.
Then all at once, the three of them raised their fingers and flashed the Sign of the Thunder God.
~N~
Pokémon: Let's Go Volkner!
Cover art drawn by EaglesFeather17 ^^
Published by Syntax-N on FanFiction . Net December 30th, 2021. Last post of the year? :0 Reposters cursed.