Chapter 4: Sunday 5th September
Donna wakes first, momentarily confused about where she is and who she is with. She is lying on her side, Harvey curled around her, with his arm draped heavily over her. She can feel the warmth of his breath tickling the back of her neck. It feels good, so she snuggles in closer. He stirs, and pulls her in a little tighter, before relaxing back into sleep. Donna, however, remains awake, drowsily replaying the previous night in her mind.
At first it had been similar to the other time: playful, creative and energetic, the two of them vying to surprise each other, perhaps showing off a little. It was never going to be less than mind-blowing, which is exactly why it's always been so hard to keep it off her mind. They were both experienced, had had chemistry since the day they met, and unsurprisingly, after spending so many years side by side, they were in sync, each knowing instinctively what the other wanted and needed.
But as the night wore on, the sex became less adventurous, and more intimate. There was a closeness, a depth of feeling, and an intensity that had been absent the other time; and absent with anyone else she had ever been with. The final time she came, they came together. He looped his fingers through hers, and looked at her with eyes so full of tenderness. The rest of the world disappeared, the chatter in her brain, about what had gone before, what might come after, whether this was right, all stilled. When it was over, and he sank down into her arms, burying his face in the crook of her neck and breathing her in, she felt tears rising, and an emotion that she couldn't place as happy or sad: an overpowering force of feeling at being together this way again after so long. It was like nothing she had experienced before. It felt a lot like love.
She has no idea what to expect from Harvey today. For all of his certainty that relationships were not for him, yesterday he'd been the perfect boyfriend. Happy, relaxed, open. Like a man in love. Was he still assuming they'd snap back into their usual patterns when they returned to New York, like they'd agreed they would? Or was he also surprised at how good he was at this, and how easily it came to him? Would he be open to trying something new?
She feels Harvey stirring again, running his large hand gently along the dips and curves of her bare side. She shivers at his touch, and pushes herself back into him, as he presses soft kisses along her neck. She feels cherished like never before.
She turns herself round a little so she can reach his mouth with hers, and he kisses her, deeply, passionately.
"Good morning, beautiful," he smiles, smoothing a tendril of hair behind her ears, and gazing at her with a look of pure adoration that takes her breath away.
Harvey's attention pulls her back fully into the present moment, once again his touch obliterates comparison with the past and concern and confusion about the future. There is only him, her, here, now. And it's beautiful.
After lazy morning sex, they lie their, bodies comfortably entwined, talking about everything and nothing, until Donna decides she feels too sticky and too hungry, and extracts herself to go and have a shower. Harvey follows her, of course, and they get dirtier before they get cleaner.
They're finally both out of the shower, both dressed.
"Pancakes?" offers Harvey, brandishing a can of whipped cream he'd secretly picked up secretly at the grocery store.
Donna tilts her head. "Whipped cream? Really Harvey?"
"What? It had to be done," he protests, shaking the can.
Donna laughs, stepping forward to take it from him and kissing him lightly on the cheek. The whipped cream stays in the can till the pancakes are ready mister. I want breakfast!"
"I could be breakfast."
Harvey takes advantage of her proximity and wraps his arms around her and starts kissing her again.
She disentangles herself. "Harvey Specter, you're insatiable. Hands off until we've eaten!"
The whole thing took longer than expected, as they both get distracted fooling around and knock over the first jug of batter as Harvey hoists Donna onto the worktop while he's kissing her. Then, once they've remade the batter, Harvey burns the first few pancakes as Donna starts a play fight with the can of whipped cream.
They are eventually done, and head outside to eat the pancakes in the sunshine, overlooking the beach.
Although it's early in September, there is real heat in the sun, and they decided to go for a swim. Donna is trying to keep her hair dry, but Harvey, humming the Jaws music, swims up beneath her and pulls her under.
"Harvey!" Donna protests, laughing and gliding towards him for a kiss. He dodges her, swoops under the water, and knocks her off her feet again. He pulls her up and they stand there holding each other, gasping and laughing.
What are you Specter? 12 years old?"
"No. I'm a machine that just swims, eats and makes little sharks."
"Not only are you a big kid. You're weird"
"Tell me you know that's a quote from Jaws."
"I haven't actually seen it. But for the record, you are definitely NOT making any little sharks this weekend. That is why we have contraception!" Donna laughs.
"How can anyone not have seen Jaws as a kid?"
"I was too busy being awesome."
"Too busy being a theater geek, more like."
She tries to dunk him in retaliation.
"Anyway, you want someone to quote movies with, perhaps you should bring Mike next time?"
"Mike doesn't look as good as you do in a bikini," he replies, playing with the knots that hold up her bikini bottoms, and moving in for a kiss, which Donna breaks when she remembers that while this place is secluded, she is not completely sure they can't be seen by any neighbors or passers by.
She pulls herself out of the pool, dries off and lies down on a luxuriously padded double sun lounger.
"OK we are so watching Jaws tonight."
She picks up her copy of The Merchant of Venice. "Shush now, my mind is on higher things."
"See, theater geek!" he says, before plunging back under the water before she can protest.
Harvey swims a few vigorous lengths noisily. When things go quiet, Donna looks up to see him heave himself out of the pool with his muscular arms, skin covered in beads of water.
"Like what you see, Paulsen?" he smirks, drying himself off.
"Oh please. Like you're not constantly staring at me." Donna retorts.
He dries off, pads over to the bed and flops down beside her.
"Ugh Harvey, your trunks are all cold and wet."
"I could take them off if you like?" he teases.
"I'm not sure the neighbors would appreciate that. And I'm busy. Here. Improve your mind." She moves the book so they can both see it.
"There's no improving perfection," he jokes.
Donna snuggles into his chest and they spend half an hour pleasantly lying together in the warm sunshine while Donna reads, before Harvey gets restless and proposes that they go and get some lunch.
Afterwards, they take a walk along the warm, windy South Beach. Harvey drapes his arm around her shoulder.
"You're little without your heels."
"I am not little!"
"I couldn't walk like this with the New York version of Donna."
She looks up and smiles at him. "Then I'm very glad she isn't here."
They walk in silence for a bit, enjoying the sun and wind buffeting their skin and the roar of the waves.
"Has this… has this helped, Donna." Harvey asks.
Donna doesn't know what to say. She hasn't thought about Stephen in over a week, but her developing feelings for Harvey are inexorably laying the foundations of a whole new problem. She wants and needs to be honest, but she doesn't want to scare him away and ruin what has been such a perfect weekend.
She chooses her words carefully, testing the water. "It is helping. It's good to get away from things. I think it will be hard to go back to real life though."
He nods slightly and waits for her to continue his gaze focused on the horizon.
"I think...I think this weekend is making me realise that I need to focus on areas of my life other than work."
His eyes snap back to her.
"Do you mean leaving Pearson Specter. Because Donna…"
"No Harvey. I'm not leaving you. I just - I just need more. I want something other than coming home to an empty apartment after 15-hour days, and holidays spent in my childhood bedroom. I want vacations like this. I like my life, I like working with you. My colleagues are like family. But I'm at an age where if I ever want a real family of my own… I need to think about that."
Harvey is silent. They walk on, his arm still draped around her shoulders, but she can feel him tense. Shit, she wishes she hadn't started on this path.
"We're having a lovely weekend Harvey. I don't want to spoil it. We can talk about something else."
"No, it's ok," he says, eyes back on the horizon. They walk in silence a little longer.
"I'm getting to the age when I want more too."
She quirks an eyebrow. "More than being the best damn closer the city has ever seen? Harvey Specter, I never thought I'd live to see the day."
"I'm serious Donna. I get lonely too. I want more than - than just picking up girls in bars."
"All those morning meetings since Scottie say otherwise."
He pulls away. Shit, he's trying here. Why did she have to say that?
"I'm sorry Harvey. That's not fair." She takes his hand. "Would you ever want - marriage, kids?" She leaves 'with me' unspoken.
"I - I would. I just don't see it working out for me. Relationships are… really not my area."
"It doesn't seem that way this weekend."
"It's not that easy."
He doesn't say anymore. They walk in silence for a while, then gradually fall back into more casual topics.
They head out for dinner, walk home along the beach and have a nightcap in the fairy-lit garden, before curling up in each other's arms and watching Jaws in bed.
It's nice, and they have fun, but Donna feels less carefree, like there's a weight pressing on her spirits. A weight she has felt before, that day in the diner, years before. It's disappointment.
At first, she isn't sure if she is going to sleep with him again. It's a reminder of everything she now wants so deeply and, having allowed her hopes to be raised, knows she can't have. But they switch the lights out, and he holds her in the dark, and she wants him, and it's passionate and intense and feels like goodbye.