Chapter 17: 21st January
Donna has never been happier. After so many years prioritizing the professional, she relished having a reason to focus on the personal.
She's 20 weeks now and already feels enormous - and she can't believe that she's going to keep getting bigger for another four months or so. Her bump fascinates her and freaks her out in equal measure. According to her pregnancy app, the baby has actual fingernails and is currently working on growing eyebrows.
Twice it has had an attack of hiccups: it's an uncomfortable, jerky sensation that sent her to Google in a panic, only to be blown away when she found out what it probably was.
And she occasionally feels a wriggly sensation, like a little fish looping the loop. A shark, says Harvey, inevitably. Nothing that he can feel yet though, much to his disappointment.
They've just had a second scan, which confirmed that the baby is developing as it should, and everything looks fine, so now she is relaxing into the pregnancy, and really allowing herself to believe that come June, they really will be in possession of a toenailed, eyebrowed, hiccupping Paulsen-Specter baby.
Like Harvey always claimed to know, the sonographer confirmed that they're having a girl. He was insufferably smug about being right, and told her this proves he will definitely be right about her being a redhead too.
Despite his prediction, they would have been equally happy with a boy or a girl, but finding out which it's going to be is a real moment of unadulterated joy, perhaps because it makes it all more real. They'd gone to a diner afterwards, and just sat there staring at the scan pictures, huge grins on their faces. She has started shopping for cute outfits, and that's really fun.
Not only is the pregnancy going well: things are good at work too. If anyone has issues with her and Harvey, they're staying quiet, and it hasn't been especially hard to pretend they're a couple. It's not like they'd be engaging in PDAs at work anyway, and some people are aware they're bought a house together, which seems like a normal couple thing to do.
Louis is still causing problems for Harvey, but his feelings about their relationship are the least of it. He has forgiven Donna for keeping Mike's secret, but he's still furious with Harvey and the others. But he has been sweet with her, offering her 'pregnancy prunies' of his own concoction, and researching ballet classes for newborns, which remarkably seem to exist.
Another positive. The house purchase went through really quickly, and they got the keys the same week as the scan. The next job is to get it furnished and ready for Donna to move in. They're looking at themes for the nursery, and Donna has vetoed sharks, but agreed to consider the ocean.
And Harvey - things are really, really good with him. They've got into a comfortable rhythm where he comes over every Friday night for take out and a movie.
He's also around most Sundays, so they can work through Donna's giant list of house and baby-related tasks, much of which involves shopping. The decision making is all Donna, of course, but she likes him to be part of everything, and she thinks he does as well, even though he is usually just nodding along. They'll often go for a walk in the park or grab lunch or dinner together too.
Their relationship is warm and affectionate, but they're managing not to overstep. Though she's really starting to think what's the harm if they do?
He hasn't said more about therapy since he called her after their first day back in the office, and she doesn't ask. But he IS still going. She knows the unresolved issues he referred to relate to his mom, and she's expecting he might take off to Boston to see her, but nothing has been said so far. Given that things are so good between them, however, she is optimistic that it is helping him, and things are moving in the right direction.
She doesn't want to pressure him, but she has been wondering about talking to him about reconsidering their decision to do this as friends. They'd said they'd review that at some vague point after the baby arrives, when everything is more settled. But things are good, he seems ready.
He still works long hours, obviously that won't change. But he's been prioritizing their time together on Friday nights. He's talking about the baby with more excitement than fear now. He even bought a hideous babygrow with Daddy's Princess written on it when he found out it's girl. It wouldn't be the worst thing if that gets lost in the move, but was a sweet gesture.
She hopes her judgement on this isn't clouded by the fact that, entering the third trimester, her hormones are no less distracting than they were at Christmas, and being single is hard.
It's early evening on Friday, and she's hoping the two of them can leave together, but Harvey is still immersed in work. It's been a busy week. She watches him stand up to stretch, raising his arms above his head. His tall form is illuminated by the soft lamp light, and she runs her eyes appreciatively over him, taking in the shape of his sizable biceps, his muscular back, then moving... lower.
She drifts into one of her favorite fantasies: dragging him off to the file room, locking the door, and having him take care of her like only he can until she finally gets some relief from the torturous ache that's her almost constant companion.
Could she even do it there, she ponders, now she's this shape? She runs through a range of possible locations and positions. She imagines him spinning her round with confident force, pulling up her dress roughly and...
"Earth to Donna?" Although she's had her eyes on Harvey through the glass wall that separates them, she was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed him talking to her through the intercom. He's looking at her with a knowing smirk on his face.
"Mind on something more… stimulating than work?" he drops her a wink.
Feeling caught out, she gets him to repeat his request for a particular file that he needs before they can leave.
After all this time, he can be almost as good at reading her as she is at reading him. She was definitely staring at him, so she's sure he suspects where her mind was, and judging by his knowing expression, he is loving it.
She changes the subject. "What are we going to do tonight?"
"Shitty Thai, movie, the usual?"
"That would be nice. But are you sure you're ok to come, Harvey? I know you have a lot on."
"The only thing I got going on tonight is the two of you." he strokes her bump affectionately, and her heart melts.
…..
Later that evening, they're midway through the movie, lying on Donna's bed, where she's more comfortable these days. The movie isn't really holding Harvey's attention, but he's happy just being here with her. His hand is resting lightly on her bump.
He suddenly feels a light tap against his hand. He sits up sharply.
"The baby moved!"
She lifts up her top, baring her stomach, grabs his other hand and pulls him so he's crouching over her. She positions his hands carefully, a look of thoughtful concentration on her face, shifting his hands to where she feels fluttering.
"Is she still moving?"
"Yes, but less strongly. Just stay there…"
And then he feels it again.
They both laugh in disbelief.
"What size is she this week?"
"A banana."
"That's a pretty strong kick for a banana-sized person."
"It really is."
He bends down and drops a kiss on her bare stomach. "Hello baby, daddy's here, and I can't wait to meet you. But you gotta be more like… I don't know… a watermelon for that to happen."
They smile at each other, and he sees his own feelings of pure joy and wonder mirrored on her face. Then something shifts. He's suddenly really aware of his position, crouched over her, his hands on her exposed skin. She bites her lip.
"Is daddy here for me too?" she asks, in an exaggerated sultry tone. It's unexpected and comical, and Harvey bursts out laughing.
"Way to kill a moment, Donna!"
He bends lower, and drops several more delicate kisses, feather light on her stomach. She lightly trails her fingers through his hair, and slowly along the stubble of his jaw.
He takes her movement as encouragement, and kisses her lower, skirting the edge of her loose pyjama pants, where her skin is more sensitive. She whimpers, so he hooks his fingers into her pants and inches them ever so slightly lower. His kisses are heavier and open mouthed now, leaving a wet trail along her skin.
He looks up at her. "You want this? You think we're ready?"
"Yeah, I do," she says, a little breathless with anticipation.
He continues pulling her pyjamas down agonisingly slowly, maintaining eye contact the whole time. She shrugs off her pyjama top, and he gasps softly, mesmerized by the dark fruit of her nipples, larger and duskier pink than before, ripe on her creamy breasts. He kneels over her, taking them in his hands, marvelling at their new weight, then gently sucks one nipple into his mouth with a pop, then the other, swirling his tongue to stir them erect. She whimpers again. He knows he'll find her more than ready for him, but first he wants to taste her.
Using her hips as leverage, he slides himself down the bed so his face is between her legs. He looks up at her over the curve of her pussy, the swell of her stomach, the twin mounds of her breasts, rounds upon glorious rounds. His eyes, darkened with desire, connect with hers again.
He nuzzles his face into her heated center, lapping at her gently at first, then with increasing pressure, pushing his tongue into her. She cries out, and bucks her hips into him, seeking more friction, more pressure, more relief, as one hand grips the sheets and the other tangles in his hair. He licks and swirls and sucks and she grinds against his face until she's panting and moaning and shuddering into her orgasm, crying out incoherently.
He gives her no time to recover. Grabbing her by the hips, he flips her on top, pushes her down and fills her. She glides up, warm and wet, then slams down hard, rolling her hips to grind into him. He runs his hands up and down her spine, hips, ass while she moves slowly, deliberately, playing with her full breasts.
Craving yet more connection, he sits up, running his tongue along her neck, from her clavicle to her earlobe, which he gently sucks until she cries out. Finally his mouth fuses with hers in a hungry, messy kiss, and her taste feels like oxygen. The relief at being together this way again is overwhelming. He can't hold back any longer, and he spills inside her, saying her name like a charm, a spell, his soul swooping, soaring, lost to the pulsing heat deep inside her, which sends her crashing over the edge too.
He rolls her over so they're sprawled on their sides, still connected, just, and he strokes her hair while they smile shyly at each other, euphoric. She's a gift, a palpable dream. This feels like it.
….
It's not late, and they eat Chunky Monkey in bed, and chat and she revels in spending time with this domestic version of Harvey that only she gets to see. It feels that finally they've integrated their relationship into their everyday lives. She had worried they could only be happy on vacation: on Martha's Vineyard, in Cortland, away from the pressures and realities of their lives. But here they are, making it work in New York.
He stays over, the first time ever in New York, and just before they fall asleep she thinks yes, she'll talk to him about moving up their timeline. She didn't see much risk here now.