Chapter 30: New Year's Eve

Finally here is the last chapter.

I've loved getting back into writing, but sadly don't really have time to do it! This whole story has been written in ten minute bursts on my phone whenever I could find a few moments to spare, but that only worked when I was doing it regularly. Once I lost momentum after having covid, I needed to wait till I had a decent chunk of time to dive back in (thank you jury service and the endless waiting around…).

I hope anyone who is still reading enjoys this last chapter. I'll be happy if I can provide even one person with a bit of escapism in difficult times.

Harvey settles Mia in her cot for the final time this year, with a bit of luck. He flops onto a chair next to her crib, watching the rise and fall of her little chest, admiring her creamy skin and the soft wisps of red hair now long enough to curl around her ears. He's tired, but happier than he ever knew was possible.

For so many years, the holidays had been a lonely time for him, spent drinking scotch in his sterile apartment, waiting impatiently for the world to start turning again. Last year, things with Donna had been complicated and uncertain. This Christmas, they had just had so much to celebrate.

They spent Christmas Day surrounded by the people they love. Lily stayed with them for a few days, leaving Bobby to spend time with his son's family back in Boston; Jim and Clara were in the basement flat, glad to escape the renovation work in their new place in Hartford; and Marcus's family spent a few days in Harvey's old apartment, due to go on the market in the new year. Harvey didn't feel the slightest pang at his decision to sell his penthouse: it represented a time in his life that he was more than ready to leave behind him.

They had both felt some trepidation at getting everyone together under one roof, when some family relationships were still fragile. However, Harvey and Lily got on just fine; and Lily charmed Jim and Clara, seemingly softening Jim's attitude to Harvey, just a little.

Harvey's motivation to nurture their wider family relationships had increased tenfold as he watched Mia thrive on the attention of all her relatives at once. It's especially nice to see the youngest Specters together. Haley and Zach adore their baby cousin, and treated her like a living doll; Mia looked at them with adorable wide-eyed fascination.

As the holidays draw to a close, Harvey's heart feels full. He is relishing the joyful abundance of the new life that Donna has given him.

He wants more of this: more time to enjoy this rich family life that he'd thought would always be beyond his reach. With this in mind, he is on the verge of making a momentous decision: he has been talking to Mike about leaving Pearson Specter Litt and setting up a legal clinic in Boston.

His home city feels more spacious and laid back than New York. That suits them now they have Mia, and Mike and Rachel are thinking about starting a family in the not-too-distant future too. They would be closer to his family and to Donna's. They'd also be closer to their new place on Martha's Vineyard: the house they'd rented had come up for sale, and he'd surprised Donna with the keys on Christmas Day. Living in Boston, they'd really be able to make the most of it.

Leaving New York and Pearson Specter Litt is a huge step, and one that he could never have imagined taking a year ago. All his adult life he has craved success. He enjoys winning, and the buzz of bending others to his will. He had set out to dominate the New York legal world. But he's done that now. And they have all the money they could ever need

If he's honest, it's not that doing good is a major motivator in his work the same way it is for Mike. But if he can exit at the very top of his game, get more time with his family, keep working alongside his best friend and use his skills to do some good in the world - well, that felt like a real win to him.

He looks back at his sleeping daughter. Mia is still breathing steadily, settled. He gets up quietly, and softly kisses her forehead. He wants to carve out a bit of time for him and Donna, now that they are finally alone after all the happy craziness of the holidays. Maybe he will ask her the question that's been burning on his lips for a long while now, if the time feels right.

….

Donna is sitting quietly with a glass of wine, taking stock of a crazy year, and of where they find themselves now, in its final hours.

A couple of months ago, Harvey had finally persuaded her that they should employ a night nanny for a couple of weeks. It had allowed them to catch up on sleep, and they were still seeing the benefits of the routine that the nanny established. Now there are some nights when Mia only wakes for one feed, and she generally settles back down much more readily. It's made all the difference to Donna's physical and mental health and she can finally look beyond the here and now, and think about the future.

With a bit more sleep she had been able to think more rationally, and decided Harvey was right about finding some professional help. Dr Lipschitz recommended a therapist who specializes in the postnatal period, and Donna is finding the whole process really helpful.

Harvey has been her rock, unwavering in putting her and Mia first. She has reached the point where she can trust in him, and believe that he truly wants this new life together. She is finally relaxing into it, instead of being braced for the next crisis.

To her relief, their sex life is back on track. Her body isn't exactly the same as it was before, but she's ok with that now. Her confidence has been restored thanks to Harvey's love and patience, and her work with the therapist.

With the therapist's encouragement, she has joined a couple of baby groups, which is helping her to feel less isolated in the shorter term. With the likely move to Boston, the women that she has met may not be forever friends, but she at least now spends a few hours a week with people in a similar position, who can relate to some of what she has been through, who won't get bored talking about baby-relaxed anxieties and trivia. A lot of them had interesting careers before, and they talk about resuming them at some point. It gives her sight of a life beyond diapers.

She has been thinking about what she wants from life in the longer term too: and that led her to resign from PSL. It's the end of an era for her and Harvey, but it doesn't seem like such a big deal to either of them, given what they now have.

She has signed up for a part-time MBA. It's ambitious, with Mia so little, but although she will need a nanny for the mornings, she can do most of the studying from home, taking breaks to see the baby, and they'll still be able to spend afternoons together. She wants to work her way up to a job that better suits her skills. She finally has more personally; she wants more professionally too.

She feels more and more like her old self - the self that she thought had been obliterated when Mia's arrival blew apart life as she knew it. Much as she loves her baby girl, the prospect of using her brain has given her some of her old zest back.

She made the decision before Mike and Rachel had first floated the idea of Boston with them. But if that plan does come to fruition, further down the line she will have the option of working with her friends again and, when the time is right, she will be able to shape her own role and dictate her own hours. It's exciting.

….

Donna hears Harvey enter the room, and she gets up to pour him a scotch. Emerging from the fog of the previous month's, she sees him again, handsome in his navy shirt, sleeves rolled up, a little rumpled.

They had decided to spend the evening quietly at home. They're not ready to leave Mia with a sitter yet, and after the madness of Christmas, they decided they wanted New Year just for them.

He moves close behind her, wraps his arms around her waist and presses a kiss into her temple, and another into the crook of her neck, his stubble pleasantly rough on her skin. The warmth of his body, the distinctive scent of his cologne: she closes her eyes and savors the intoxicating feeling of finally being with the man that she had wanted for more years than she would care to admit. She wonders idly if it'll ever wear off, this feeling of wonder that finally they're here.

She spins around in his arms to face him, pressing her lips to his, in a slow, teasing kiss. She slips her hand inside his shirt and runs her hand appreciatively up and down the muscles of his back with one hand, playing with the little hairs at the back of his neck with the other. Their eyes lock.

"Well I was going to suggest cheesecake for dessert, but this works too." He waggles his eyebrows, his tone husky and mock seductive.

"You're an idiot," she murmurs affectionately, smiling into a deeper kiss.

"A lucky idiot," he murmurs back, backing her into the bedroom, the scotch lying abandoned.

….

Afterwards, he's lying drowsily in her arms, soaking up the warmth of her skin, the scent of her hair. Abruptly, Donna peels back the comforter, letting in a rush of cold air.

"It's New Year's, Harvey. You can't sleep through it. We need to celebrate."

She's not joking. She's up, throwing on some clothes.

"That wasn't the celebration?"

She rolls her eyes at him, and he can't help but grin. He is happy to see Donna's old energy and enthusiasm is back - it's worth tearing himself out of the warm bed for.

He pulls on some pyjamas and they head back into the lounge. Harvey pours them each a glass of the champagne that's been chilling in the fridge, while Donna switches the TV to Times Square ready for the countdown. Just then, they hear a piercing wail from Mia's room.

"Never one to miss out on the action," grimaces Harvey.

Donna smiles. "That's our daughter."

Ever the well-oiled machine, Donn dims the lights, turns the volume low, while Harvey heads to Mia's room. He returns with her, blinking in the light, and hands her to Donna before flopping down next to them.

"Do you remember last year?" he asks. "We were trying to imagine what life would look like now, and we couldn't?"

"Yes, you were wondering whether we'd have Mia with us to see in the new year?"

"Was I? I guess I didn't know that she was pretty much always gonna be awake."

"She's better now. Thank. God." Donna leans her head against Harvey's shoulder, and strokes Mia's soft cheek, her eyes heavy. She's tired but content seeing in the new year here with her two favorite people in the world.

Midnight strikes. Harvey leans over the feeding baby and kisses Donna tenderly on the lips, then drops a featherlight kiss on the top of Mia's head, breathing in her familiar milky baby smell. He can hear bursts of fireworks in the streets around them, and faintly on the TV. It's like the world is partying, but they're suspended in their hushed, dimly-lit cocoon. There will be time for parties and friends again someday, but right now he's happy like this, just the three of them. This domesticity is what he craves right now.

Mia's flushed, fat little cheek is still making a rhythmic sucking motion, but her eyes are closed and her breathing is regular: she has dropped off. Donna gingerly unlatches her, and Harvey takes her to her room and eases her into her cot before returning to the lounge.

Donna is idly flipping between channels. She looks up at him and smiles. "Bed?"

She isn't wearing any make up, her hair is in a messy bun and she's in loose yoga pants and an old t shirt. This is the Donna that's all his. He's filled again with relief that she is comfortable and confident in her own skin again.

He pauses for a beat, taking her in.

"Harvey, you're staring," she laughs.

"What do you say we stay up for one more? Just you and me?"

"That'd be nice." She sits up straighter to help stay awake.

He tops up her champagne, and they clink their glasses together in silent celebration, and acknowledgement that they made it.

"It was a lot, this year," he says, looking at her seriously.

"The best of times, the worst of times. But we made it." She gives a wry smile. "Next year looks like being pretty eventful too."

"Hopefully all good, this time."

"I'll drink to that," she quips.

"So we're really gonna do this? Boston?" he ventures.

"I think so, I want to."

"I want to too. It just makes sense. More time together, nearer your parents…"

She raises an eyebrow. "Let me get this straight. You want to be closer to my dad?"

He gives a deep chuckle. He loves that she can always make him laugh. "Well, when you put it like that…"

They sit quietly for a moment. He knows it's time. His stomach flips. What to say?

"I've been thinking. I don't want to move out there with my girlfriend or my baby mama or...

She rolls her eyes. "Harvey. I am not your… wait. What?"

"I want to move out there with my wife." He looks her in the eyes earnestly, giving her a wonky smile. "Marry me?"

She presses her lips to his, hard, leaving him in little doubt as to her answer. When she pulls away, her eyes are filled with happy tears, and his are too.

Words still don't come easily, but he's determined to make sure she understands what she truly means to him.

"I've wanted to ask for so long, Donna. But I also wanted it to be the right time, when we're in a good place - especially after I messed up last time I... I've always loved you. I'll never deserve you. But if you'll marry me anyway, I will never stop trying to be a better man for you."

Donna is silent. She now has tears running down her face. He pauses, suddenly discomforted and a little uncertain.

"Um. I thought… You didn't answer?"

"Yes, Harvey. Of course it's yes," she all but sobs, throwing her arms around his neck. She never thought marriage was a big deal for her: but marrying the love of her life, taking this step forward with her soulmate - that feels like a pretty amazing beginning of the new year, and to the rest of their life.

So that's it! I'd love to know what you think (I so appreciate each and every review), and to have any ideas for what you'd like to see in the Epilogue. It's almost done, and I have a few days off, so it won't be so long this time :-)