KEZZ 1: Thank you as always for the compliment!
So, I am so sorry this took so long getting up. I had an unexpected health problem occur. Nothing serious, but it did make it to where I could not sit at my desk to work on this for a week straight. I truly apologize for how long this chapter took to get out and don't worry about my health as I'm doing completely fine now! Thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy the chapter!
"Sorry for takin' over your trailer," Maggie told Jesus as they sat outside his trailer about a week after they'd started training the citizens of Hilltop.
"I'm used to it," Jesus smiled.
"Big family?"
"Group home," he admitted. "This isn't like that, though. Not the bad parts, at least. For the first time I feel like I belong. Trying to make sure you, Sasha, Abraham, and Beth became a part of this made me a part of this," he told her as Beth and Sasha walked up. "When I was first here, I was never here. I, um, always found it hard getting close to anyone. Neighbors, friends...boyfriends," he chuckled dryly.
"You should try it sometime," Maggie told him. "Even if it doesn't last. I'm gonna talk to our blacksmith about making more spears. Where's Ani? I wanted to talk to her about what else we should train them on."
"Last I saw, she was with Daryl headin' back to the house after she was done Merle with teachin' that phalanx formation stuff," Beth informed her. "Said somethin' 'bout not sleepin' well and wantin' to nap while she could. Guess they got their heads out of their asses after all."
"They had help according to Mrs. Mable," Jesus said with a smile while looking over at Beth. "Somebody let slip Ani was talking about her cravings."
They chuckled before Maggie said, "Well, I'm gonna go talk to the blacksmith. Let me know when they wake up so I can catch Ani before she's busy again. I'm hopin' to trade with the Kingdom for some body armor. What we really need is riot gear."
Jesus followed her, quickly taking up his role as guard. He, Sasha, and Abraham had gladly become attached to the woman as she took it upon herself to become a leader of these people. Beth was happy as she watched them walk away with a small smile upon her face. What she and Rosita were about to do would help keep her safe. She would be able to be a part of the community here, to help it build and grow, without the threat of Negan looming over her head. She'd mulled it over long enough and had already agreed to go. Sasha left to go find Abraham so they could get going on their run, leaving Beth alone in the trailer, which was exactly what she wanted. In a frenzy, she quickly searched for the hollowed out book Jesus kept the handful of bullets he'd collected in. She'd just found them and pocketed the proper shells when Jesus and Enid walked through the door.
"I was..." she said looking at the book in her hand. "I was tryinna find somethin' to read a couple days ago. Stumbled across it..."
Jesus took one look at her and understood what was going on, "Whatever you're planning, I wish you wouldn't. You can have the bullets if you need them. I won't stop you," he told her. "I didn't know you had a gun."
"I don't. I mean, I didn't. I do now," Beth said.
"You really shouldn't go, Beth," Jesus said, stepping up into her personal space, causing her to recoil. "Not yet. We're almost ready to move."
"I don't care. By then it could be too late."
"How did you get a gun?" Enid asked.
When Beth just stared blankly at them, Jesus sighed and guessed, "Rosita, huh? She didn't come here to train people. You're planning on going after Negan together. You can't do that without people," he insisted. "A lot of people."
"We talked about it," Beth said. "I get it, that you don't want Maggie to lose the last bit of family she has. I'm happy you care about her so much. But I'm not gonna change my mind. Doin' this, it keeps her safe. It keeps Ani safe. Carl. Judith. Sophia. You. Doin' this will change everything, and I'm not gonna sit on the sidelines and wait for it to happen."
"You should tell Maggie," Enid told her.
"No!" Beth fought back. "She'll just wanna join! Her and Ani both! And Daryl! Merle. Abraham. Sasha. If it's just us two, we can get in, do what we gotta do, and get out. We don't need everyone to go. Just a couple. And if it ends this, it ends it! Once and for all! I'm willin' to take that chance! And whether or not I go, Rosita's goin'! So I should go to help make sure she comes home! She can't do it alone!"
"Then I'll go with you," Jesus suggested.
"And leave the Hilltop without one of it's best fighters? I'm no one to these people, Jesus," Beth told him. "I'm just some silly little farmer's daughter helpin' her big sister out. They don't need me here and won't notice I'm gone. But they'll notice you. They'll notice the others. You have to stay and help Maggie prepare for what happens next! You have to keep her safe!"
"You should do that yourself," Enid said.
"She has all of you. And they have her. She doesn't need me like the rest of you need her, like she needs all of you."
"You could stay," Jesus said. "I know you could, but I know you won't. I just wish you would. You've got a long life ahead of you, until you don't. Take anything you need, but talk to Maggie before you and Rosita leave. You owe her that much," he said before grabbing a tomato and one of the many tools he had in the trailer and left.
"Listen, Enid," Beth said, going to stand in front of the younger teen. "You can't tell Maggie anythin'. You have to protect her. Her and her baby are the future of Hilltop, you too. So's Sasha and Abraham. You need to help keep them safe, okay? Keep makin' the world a better place."
"Okay," she whispered. "Beth?"
"What?"
Enid looked contemplative for a moment before squaring her shoulders and sighing, "In ten minutes I'm gonna tell Maggie what's going on. It's up to you what you want to do with that. I'm doing what you asked."
Beth quickly went back to packing her bag, grabbing her jacket and throwing it on before stuffing the bullets in the pocket. She was in the middle of putting in a knife the Hilltop's blacksmith was mass producing when the sound of engines roaring could be heard followed by Kal banging on metal pipes to let everyone know that the Saviors were coming. As fast as she could, she threw on her jacket and utility belt before Rosita slammed through the door.
"Where do we hide?" she asked.
"We don't," Beth told her. "Come on, we need to go."
She led Rosita over to where the Hilltop kept their excess firewood, throwing a few logs off until it was obvious no more could be before prying something open. Beth was happy that Maggie had come up with the idea of a stealthy escape and Sasha had come up with the tunnel. It was the only way she and Rosita would be able to get ahead of the Saviors, but also out of the Hilltop undetected. The Saviors, without realizing it, had helped plot the course of Negan's own demise. She couldn't help the bit of cruel smile that manage to etch itself on her face as she lodged the tunnel's entrance open.
"Alright, get in," Beth told her. "It goes all the way through, but it ain't just us that'll be usin' it. We gotta get through before Maggie comes down."
She entered the tunnel after Rosita and climbed down a few steps before picking up the stick at the bottom and knocking out the branch she'd used to lodge the tunnel open. Rosita was already a good way ahead of her, so she did her best to catch up. They didn't have much time to move before Maggie, and probably the Dixons, would be behind them. Beth ended up overtaking Rosita and lead her out of the tunnel and into the woods around the backside of Hilltop. The foliage would give them enough cover to keep out of sight of the Saviors, and if what Sophia and Merle had shared with her about the location of the Sanctuary, if they kept a true heading straight for about a mile or so so that they could miss the main road the Saviors would be heading and then cut due East for about five or six miles. They'd come to the outskirts of the factory area the Saviors called home and, with luck, they'd be able to find a way to get this done without resorting to going inside.
It wasn't that she didn't want the job done, as she looked back at Rosita, she just didn't want one of the two women she looked up to for being warriors getting caught. As much as Ani was amazing and able to hold her own against anything, there was partially a reason for that. Her mind just didn't have the limiters that the normal human being did. Rosita's did. And she was able to hold her own nonetheless, against men, women, biters, anything that came her way. They were both women that Beth had come to look up to as she looked back and found Rosita's eyes watching her, making her blush and whip her head back around.
~x~
Daryl had watched Ania all morning from a bit farther away, specifically a picnic bench that had a pretty decent view of the entire compound. He'd taken to chain smoking as she helped Merle teach everyone where they needed to stand and how to fan out for the formation they were trying to learn. Several times she'd look up to him and wave before going and sitting down, taking a drink from her water bottle. To be fair, she didn't look like she was about to keel over. She was taking more breaks than she had the day before, too, which made him bite the inside of his cheek even though he wanted to make her rest. He was honestly relieved when she walked up to him as the group dispersed and asked him if he'd go to the room with her. Once they got there, she'd simply taken her vest off and laid on the bed, waiting for him to crawl up beside her. She laid her head on his chest as soon as he'd gotten comfortable, sighing as he wrapped an arm around her.
She was snoring softly when he got up to leave, handing her his pillow and kissing her forehead gently before leaving. Sophia was walking towards their room as he walked out the door so he put his finger to his lips to tell her to stay quiet. Ania had become a super light sleeper since they'd gotten to the Hilltop on top of all the other issues she was having due to pregnancy. He didn't want Sophia waking her up trying to talk to him so close to the bedroom door. Sophia, however, just gave him a weird look and shrugged her shoulders, heading into the room she was currently using to grab a bag. She waited until they reached the stairs before turning to Daryl and looking at him pleadingly.
"Sasha, Abraham, and some of Hilltop's people are goin' out to scavenge. I thought it would be the perfect time to go huntin'? I know they aren't runnin' low on anythin', but I figured I could help 'em get more herbs and maybe help get a deer or somethin' for a treat. They don't have any hunters here anymore than they had fighters. But, is that okay?"
"Sasha and Abe are goin', so yeah, you go on," Daryl said. "And if you catch a rabit, I'll stew it up."
"Really?!" Sophia said excitedly, loving his rabbit stew almost as much as Ani's raccoon roast.
"Yeah. You go on," he told her, giving her a small smile as she waved at him and ran off.
Merle waved her over and handed her a bunch of new arrows as Daryl watched on, waving at his little brother afterwards. Daryl merely nodded back before moving onto the picnic table. He pulled out a pack of smokes, just watching what was going on. Sasha walked over to where Abraham and Sophia, Eduardo, and a few others were waiting for them before they left out of the gate. He couldn't see Maggie, but knew about where she should be at the moment. Either she would be in the trailer, out behind the house at Glenn's grave or elsewhere helping the citizens of the Hilltop. Honestly, he had to admit that he did prefer the Hilltop to Alexandria with it's simplicity and easy way of life, but he missed the home he shared with Ania, even if Negan had tainted it. Pulling out a cigarette and lighting it, he took a healthy drag before releasing it slowly, thinking of everything they still had to do.
They needed weapons. They needed fighters. They needed people. They had none of it. Sure, the people of Hilltop were doing quite well in their training, but he could see it. They wouldn't be ready for the kind of fighting they needed to do before it really became a fight to the death. They were going to lose people. Before the bullets stopped flying, a lot of people were probably going to be lost. Daryl sighed as he blew out another hit, knowing they had limited options right now. Unless they could find something to use against the Saviors, he knew they had no chance. Maggie's baby, let alone his, would be born into a world ruled by those assholes, and he wasn't willing to let that happen.
He'd finished his cigarette and was carving an arrow when Kal sounded out the alarm about the Saviors as Enid ran up to him, "Merle's gone to get Ani, we have to get Maggie."
"Where is she?" he asked, quickly grabbing his knife while looking towards the house and watching Merle book it up the steps.
While he wanted to get to his wife, if Maggie was left out here on her own, there'd be no one to keep her safe, no one to protect her and her baby. Sasha and Abraham were gone, he had seen Beth for maybe five minutes all day, and Merle had been closer to the house for Ania than he had been. He wasn't thrilled that it was just Merle and the cats, but he knew Ania would be protected one way or the other. He owed it to Maggie to be her sword and shield when no one else was around with how he'd gotten Glenn killed. With one last look towards the house, he took off after Enid and around to the vegetable patches where Maggie had been helping look after the crops. Together, they ran back towards the house, everyone planning to get out through the tunnel Sasha and Abraham had made for quick getaways, but they were no where close to it as of yet and the sound of engines were getting louder.
"We'll never make it in time!" Maggie said.
"Ain't getting' back to the house, neither," Daryl lamented, not seeing Merle or Ani, who should have been coming out to meet them by now.
"Come on!" Enid said, leading them to the Barrington House's cellar just as the Saviors vehicles entered through the gate. "You stay down there. I'll keep them away. They aren't the same ones who came to Alexandria! I'll check on Ani and make sure she's alright, but just, stay here!"
Daryl watched the cellar doors close and waited with baited breath. The last thing he expected was to be trapped alone with Maggie. It was the last thing he wanted to be. Any other time, he just could pretend like he didn't exist in her world aside from being a ghostly defender. Disappear under the pretense of checking on Ania before wandering back over to the picnic table he tended to sit at so he could keep an eye on them all. It didn't help in the matter that his wife was no where to be seen, though he hoped that meant that she, the cats, and Merle had managed to make it to the tunnel before the Saviors had gotten through the gates. If any of the Saviors came in and threatened Maggie, though, if any Savior even came close to finding them, he was going to make sure they were dead and stayed dead long before they ever hit the ground.
"Daryl!" Maggie whisper yelled from behind him, even though he didn't move for another moment. "Daryl!"
When he did move, it was to go back behind the shelving units, where the darkness was so great that it was hard to see your hand in front of your face when you went all the way in the back. It was a good place to hid, but had a lot of holes still. If enough produce was removed from the shelving units that covered them from sight, they would no longer be covered, and that darkness that would keep them safe would gradually get lighter and lighter until there was no safety, only the very real fact that they were trapped like rats in a literal cellar.
He had his knife at the ready, standing in front of Maggie when light flooded through the doors and one of the Savior's men came in and started looking around. One of the first things he noticed was that the son of a bitch had Enid's knife. The second thing was that the man seemed to have a habit of looking more towards where they were hiding just a moment longer than necessary. Daryl was just waiting for his chance, tensed and ready to take action. He could feel Maggie behind him shaking; considering she never so much as shook in the face of fear, he knew he'd seen that knife too. That was just one more thing he needed to take care of once all was said and done.
When the man began moving boxes down and off the shelves, placing them at the entrance to the cellar, Daryl tensed and waited for his moment. It came when his back was turned, only Maggie put her hand on his arm even as he raised the knife. He barely looked over towards her, just enough to see the subtle movement of her shaking her head. Maggie moved herself to put her head on his shoulder as he kept a vigil. As soon as the man grabbed a second basket towards the door, he'd left the cellar, shutting the doors behind him even as Daryl had his knife at the ready whether Maggie said no or not. Daryl wasted no time launching himself through the narrow opening between the shelving units and over to the door, making sure the man was gone and staying gone.
"You were gonna kill that guy," Maggie accused after sighing.
"He was gonna find us," he quietly said.
"He wasn't. He didn't."
"He deserved to die."
Maggie sighed again before telling him, "Ever since you got here, you haven't said a word to me. Ani tries, but I can see it." When Daryl still stood with his back to her, she asked him, "Would you look at me?"
Daryl didn't know how to look at her right now, knowing Glenn's death was his fault. She would be raising her son with nothing but herself and maybe her sister. Ania was just in the house or on the other side of the wall waiting for him, but who was waiting for Maggie? Who was going to be by her side through this pregnancy? The birth? All those sleepless nights everyone seemed to warn him about even though he didn't want to know about it? He'd ruined her family and somehow, he had to admit, it had made him be harder on Ania out of fear of losing her or the baby. He had gone a little overboard on making her take breaks and dragging her away, but who was supposed to do that for Maggie and even if someone did, were they actually strong enough to make her like he was Ania?
"Please?" Reluctantly, he turned to face the other pregnant woman who had become another family member to him, sniffling as he held back tears. "Daryl..." she sighed.
"I'm sorry," he told her, his voice breaking as he failed to contain his emotions. "I'm sorry."
Maggie watched as one of the strongest men she knew, one who had only ever become emotional over one thing, broke down over what happened to Glenn. She had to admit, there had been a moment, a tiny moment, where she had wanted to place the blame on his head. That moment had been right after it happened, right after they'd loaded Glenn's body into the truck and she'd climbed in. But when she woke up, when she heard her baby's heartbeat, saw that tiny bean grow so much it had hands and legs now, she couldn't blame him. Glenn would have fought for that in a moment, and had when that horrible man had threatened her himself. Nothing in the world would ever keep a parent from protecting their child, a loving father from protecting his unborn child and ill wife. She understood that from before they had come back. She understood that now. There would never be a need for him, or Ania by extension, to feel guilt, to look at her in sorrow, or as if they were lesser than her. They owed her nothing, because Daryl did nothing wrong.
"It wasn't your fault," she was finally able to say after her heart broke for the man.
"It was," Daryl insisted as he fought from crying.
"No, it wasn't," Maggie ensured him. "You're one of the good things in this world. That's what Glenn though. And he would know. Because he was one of those good things too. And, uh, I wanted to kill that guy too. I wanted to string them all up and watch them die. But we have to win," she told him before walking to him and enveloping him in a hug. "Help me win."
All Daryl could do was nod his head in agreement, his resolve to end this conflict as fast as possible so that these babies could be born in times of peace. "I'll make sure we win," he told her, bringing his hand up to her shoulder and gently pushing her away. "'Fore the babies are due. I'll make sure we win."
~x~
Ani was locked in her dream, drowning in a pit of despair. She knew it was a nightmare. She knew they were dead, but it didn't help the situation at all when it came to her nightmares. The worst thing was that she could feel every hammer fall of the poles, every spot they hit with such accuracy it only proved even more that it was a dream. She kept telling herself to wake up, that it was just another nightmare, that Daryl would wake her up any second now, but all that was met with was the taunting voices of her parents. How they needed to start before the baby was born, how she didn't deserve the child, how she was unfit to be a mom. It was as the blood began pouring that her eyes shot wide open and her breathing became so haggard that even the kittens had taken a defensive position even though there was no immediate threat.
"It's okay, guys, it's okay," she said, grabbing Catty, who meowed in protest as Bobby quit his hissing fit, holding the kitten tight against her chest, even though she was larger than the average house-cat now. "I'm okay. I'm okay," she repeated as she breathed heavily a few times before breathing deeply and releasing it in a slow push. "Ow," she complained as she rolled onto her back, attempting to pop it like she normally did to make it feel better and only making her groan louder before crying out. "Fuckin' hell, ya little prick," she said, poking her belly. "Could ya give ya momma a little break from all this pain? I get ya can' help the nightmares, but come on! Ya at least can' be makin' it hurt like this jus' from takin' a little nap! Please, baby boy, I'm literally desperate right now not ta be hurtin' all the time. Ya daddy must a snuck off while I was sleepin', too," she said, looking at Daryl's empty side of the bed.
She'd just managed to start shifting towards the end of the bed when she heard the warning call that the Saviors were coming. Ani damn near broke out into tears all over again. She couldn't move her right hip for some reason without it either seizing up or feeling like it was on fire. Trying her hardest to work through the pain, she managed to get her legs over the side of the bed and start pushing herself up when Merle busted through the door.
"The fuck ya still in bed for?!" he hollered.
"Don' fuckin' yell at me!" she cried. "I can'...me hip is all fucked. I must a slept wrong or somethin'. It hurts like a bitch and I can' barely fuckin' move me leg."
"Oh, hell, we ain't got time for this," Merle said as he came over the bed and all but yanked her to standing, causing Ani to muffle a cry.
"Merle...Merle, me leg's on fire!" Ani told him.
"Which one?" he asked as he helped her sit back down and moving to his knees in front of her.
"Right."
"Oh, hell, you fucked with your sciatic, kid. Either you really slept wrong, or that baby in your belly is as much of an asshole as any Dixon already. Should feel better now your hip's popped back into place," Merle told her after pushing her onto her back and moving her leg around a bit, causing it to pop so loud that they both looked towards the door even as Ani muffled an involuntary shout, covering her mouth with both hands. "Shit, shit, shit. We ain't gettin' outta this house now. Come on, all we can do is go up. Attic's got a place to hide. Ain't much more than a sofa behind a bunch of boxes, but the four of us will fit. Come on!"
Rather than just hauling her to her feet, he sat on the bed beside her and helped her to her feet. Even though the fire was gone from her hip, it still hurt to move her right leg to take the steps. It was a really uncomfortable pain that she wasn't familiar with, having never had experience with any ligament or joint pain outside of common wrist, shoulder, and ankle sprains or post training aches. With Merle's help, they managed to make it out of the room and just to the stairs before a boisterous voice sounded from the commons below.
"Shite, that's Simon," Ani informed him as she heard the man call for Gregory. "Does that son a a bitch, Greg, know I was restin'? Did 'e know I was restin' in 'ere?!"
"I don't know, kid, why?"
"'Cause Simon's only one a the many that was gunnin' for me ta get on board with Negan," Ani informed him. "He laid it on thick. Neva knew if 'e was genuinely bein' nice ta me or jus' was one a them people pleasa types that always tries ta make the best out a every situation. Jus', fuck, we gotta get movin'."
"Alright," Merle said, stopping in their tracks and moving in front of Merle. "Don't you ever say I didn't do nothin' for you. Hop on."
"Huh?"
"You ain't walkin' fast with that hip and we got another flight before we make it to the top floor, and then you gotta climb up the ladder into the attic. It'll go faster if I just carry you up to the ladder. And if I push on your ass to help ya up it, don't fuckin' tell Daryl or I'll never hear the end of it."
"Ya push on me ass without lettin' me try on me own and askin' for help, Daryl won' need ta hear 'bout it 'cause a boot-shaped shina will tell 'im all 'e needs ta know," she quipped back as she got on his back. "Ya ain' as comfy as Daryl. Ya too fuckin' thin!"
"Well excu-ooo-use me. I can't help it I got the height and my brother got the beef. Ain't like you got much meat on ya either!" Merle said as he tucked his stump under her thigh and started taking the stairs two at a time, using his hand to catch the railing and haul himself up.
"Fuck ya, Merle! I can still take ya!"
"Oh, I know it, girly, but I ain't takin' you. Not 'til that baby gets out."
"Yeah, yeah, no fightin' allowed. I know. Total bullshite," she mumbled under her breath as they rounded the next flight of stairs.
"I heard that. Fuck, how're you this heavy?" he said as he began breathing heavily.
"I dunno, prolly the fact that, ya know, I'm fuckin' pregnant, ya prick!"
"Alright, alright, no need to get testy."
"Mention me weight again and I'll show ya testy!"
"Geez, guess what they say 'bout women and pregnancy really is true. You say one thing 'bout how they look, and they blow up on ya."
"Ya didn' mention me looks, ya mentioned me weight. There's a difference," Ani argued as she reached high above her head while Merle hefted her just a little higher so she could grab the rope to pull the ladder down.
"Whatever. Get your ass up there, high 'nough to where I can hand you the kittens."
"No need," Ani told him, motioning for the kittens to go up, to which they easily began climbing the ladder after which she started up.
Merle didn't exactly have to push her up the steps, but he certainly did have to hustle up the ladder himself to make sure the thing was locked and secured and they had time to get settled on the couch that he, himself, had tucked away in a nice little back corner. Honestly, he'd never intended the area to house either pregnant lady, and he couldn't blame Ani's scrunched up nose as the place smelled a little, well, stale. Her accusatory glance had him just shrug his shoulders as he helped her sit on the couch, forcing her to prop her right leg on the little table he'd managed to procure up there before moving a few of the boxes back into the path. Absolutely no one had ever come up into the basement, which was just full of super old, dust covered junk, except Merle, so he was positive this would be a safe place.
"Once we hear them trucks start up, we can get outta here. I promise ya, Ani."
"Gods, why do ya smoke that shite up 'ere? Daryl smokes outside!"
Merle scoffed and looked over at her, "If ya haven't noticed, I ain't Daryl. And I don't smoke cigs."
"I know ya ain' Daryl. I sure as fuck ain' wantin' ta jump ya bones all the damn time," Ani said before adjusting. "Fuck! I'm gonna have ta ask Carson ta do somethin' 'bout this. This shite sucks."
"Hot bath'll do you good."
"Ain' s'posed ta take baths."
"Says who?"
"Says Carson. Says it could trigga a yeast infection. Hurt the baby."
"You ever had a yeast infection before?"
"Nah."
"Then you prolly ain't 'bout to get one now. Take a bath with Daryl. Have him give your hips a little extra love with his man hands. I'm tellin' ya, you'll be right as rain."
"Ya think I'm gonna risk that?"
"Then take a shower!" Merle said, throwing up his arms. "I'm just sayin', get Daryl to work a little magic and you'll be right as rain."
"Why ya always wantin' ta get me and ya brotha alone tagetha, specifically naked? He already knocked me up!"
"Hell, I dunno. Never thought he'd be with anyone. Hell, I can count on one hand how many women he's been with, and that includes you."
"Good, 'cause that's all ya got."
"Oh, I'm gonna smack you one of these days for them comments, girl. One more comment about me only havin' one hand and you'll be wishin' I had never come back!"
"Ya got anythin' ta eat or drink up here? Already know there ain' no place to take a piss."
"There's a pot 'round the corner from these boxes. Ain't much, but it's good enough."
"Merle!" Ani drew out, looking at him in disgust. "Gods! What the hell do ya get up ta up 'ere? Like, seriously! What the fuck is wrong with ya?!"
"Hey, I'd give my left hand to be able to answer that, girly. I mean, hell, ain't that your job?"
"We had ya left hand once upon a time."
"What now?"
Ani couldn't help but start giggling as she recalled, "Some tiny, punk ass Latino kid was tryin' ta talk big and pissed Daryl off when we came back for ya. Daryl had wrapped it in a rag from T-Dog and stuffed it in Glenn's bag. When Rick wouldn' let D kick the kid's ass for makin' fun a ya name, I told 'im ta show him ya hand. The look on that kid's face! He fell right outta his chair on the floor! I swear, he damn near pissed 'imself!" Merle was chuckling away while Ani was laughing so hard at that point that she had started leaning towards him, but started bending forward as well, which caused her hip to pop again. "Gah!" she cried out before giggling a little more as she sat up right. "Actually, that feels a shite ton betta. I musta jus' slept wrong," Ani told him with a smile as she stood up and did a few minor stretches to make sure the pain wasn't going to return. "I'm so sick a all these little pains and problems."
"Only gonna get worse as that belly gets bigger. It's already damn near doubled in size since you got hit."
"Yeah, can hide it unda a shirt yet, but only flowy ones. Me stretchy ones show in a second. Gonna have ta accept that I ain' gonna even be able ta do anythin' but be right here or back home 'fore all this is ova if it don' end in the next month or so. We gotta move fast, Merle. We can' keep sittin' and waitin'."
"I know, Ani. I know. But you know, you can't be makin' Daryl worry 'bout ya. Make sure you learn and keep to your limits, 'cause I'm not gonna be gettin' between you two and your fights."
"Yeah ya will," Ani said. "Ya can' help it. Ya wanna look afta both a a us. Makes it hard ta do that when we're at odds. Easia when we're on the same page, since we'll always know where the other..."
Sounds below them had them quiet their already almost whispered conversation. There was an indistinct chatter about the room, and someone banged on the attic door, attempting to lodge it free, but Merle knew what he was doing. He'd latched it from the inside so that no matter how the Saviors tried to get up here, unless they broke the door, they wouldn't be able to get the ladders down. Ani's breath began to come in short as she looked around frantically to see if there was any other place to go. Arms were around her sooner than she expected from Merle as a panic attack began to set in and she tried escaping.
"Hey, hey! Stop this."
"Let go a me. I'll be okay, but Merle, please, I don' wanna be touched right now," Ani pleaded just as silently as he had.
"Daryl..."
"Is the exception, not the rule," she breathlessly said.
"Alright, alright," Merle said back as he removed his arms from her,
"Merle! Merle! Open the damn door or I'm gonna break it down!" Daryl's muffled voice called from below.
~x~
"Did you dig that tunnel?" Rosita asked as she followed Beth through the woods.
"No, Sasha and Abe did. Maggie, she thought we might need to book it quick, so the tunnel got made in a day, day and half, maybe," Beth told her, looking up at the sun to make sure she had the right bearing.
"Well, we're out. So now what?"
"What do you think?" Beth asked her incredulously.
Telling her to follow her, Beth lead her down into a town about a mile and a half through the woods and bearing slightly East. They tried several cars, getting more and more frustrated as each one refused to spark up. Siphoning gas wouldn't be an issue if they could find something to put the gas in. So far they hadn't managed to find any luck on either fronts, Rosita attempting to start the cars while Beth looked for a container. It had become a silent agreement at the first car when Beth was unable to get the car to start, only to find that she was using the wrong wires when Rosita came over. Even though the older woman had showed her which were the right immediately afterwards, she still went to the driver's side door every time they found a new car so Beth wouldn't be the one to try.
"If this one starts, all we gotta do is find—yeah! Water bottle!" Beth smiled in triumph as she held up the little bottle that had been on the floorboard.
"Damn it! I thought this was the one that was gonna start!" Rosita said as she banged her fist on the seat.
"We'll find another. We always do," Beth assured her.
"That ain't good enough. Car's dead."
They continued making their way around buildings, checking cars along the way. "Where'd you learn to disarm and set up explosives?" Beth asked Rosita as she stopped to check another car, dropping her bag at Beth's feet. "Were you in the Army?"
"Someone I knew," Rosita said in frustration. "Not...not him. Listen, I'm not here to play 'Get to Know You', so either we talk about the mission or we don't."
Beth scoffed and nodded her head, anger and disappointment rearing up all at once even though her mouth said, "Right. That's great. You know what? Fine. Wasn't all that interested in you anyway."
"What?" Rosita asked.
"Nothin'," Beth sharply said. "Phia said there's a red buildin' just outside the Sanctuary, a good four stories high to the East of it. It's got a line of sight to the rear courtyard, where they're usin' the walkers to keep people out. We hole up, we wait, we take a shot from there. If we gotta go in, there are weaker places in the perimeter we can take advantage of, but once we go in, that's it. We're dead. We should stay outside, take a clean shot, and maybe we can both go home and move on from all this somehow." Rosita didn't answer, only gave her a dirty look before roughly grabbing her bag off the ground. "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong?" Rosita repeated. "What's wrong is I want to make sure we get him. That means we go in. If we shoot from a distance and miss, we don't get another chance."
"You won't miss."
"You might."
"I won't miss. Did you forget who taught me sharpshootin' in the first place? Certainly wasn't Ani!"
Rosita scoffed, "At least someone knows she ain't Little Miss Perfect."
"Look, if we go in and get caught-"
"I won't get caught," Rosita cut her off, making Beth grab her wrist and whip her around.
"What the hell? Do you have a death sentence? 'Cause I've been there! And it makes you stupid! Bein' stupid gets you killed! We have a chance to get out of this alive. To go back to Alexandria and everyone and the Hilltop!"
"If you wanna go back, go!" Rosita told her.
"You asked me to come. You trained me. Don't start actin' like I'm some scared little girl that can't hold her own now! I'm tryin' to make sure we have another chance to do this! I want him dead just as much as you, if not more! I mean, why are you even so gung-ho about all this anyway? It's not like Glenn was your man."
"He wasn't. He didn't have to be," Rosita said as she stormed off.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You don't get it! Look, if this is too much for you, if you want to bail, now's your chance. But if you're with me, I'm done talking about it."
"Maybe you'll think about it instead," Beth said haughtily, taking up position beside her. "Maybe, just maybe, you'll realize that gettin' what you want isn't always done the way you have it planned in your pretty little head!" she spat before storming past her herself.
They ended up in a small area by a fenced in parking lot. It looked like small community building or maybe even a small church, but either way, there were plenty of cars in the lot. The only problem was that there were an awful lot of walkers in there too. They'd not only need a distraction, but they'd need to make quick work of finding a working vehicle if they were going to avoid getting trapped with over a dozen walkers. While Beth was sure they could take them together, she wasn't sure they wanted to risk getting scratched or bitten just to find a car. That's why what Rosita said next left her sucking in a breath and quirking her head to one side before following the woman.
"This'll work," Rosita told her.
They found a car parked near enough to the gate that they could reach it. Rosita cut a hole in the fence before busting out the rear window of the car, making plenty of noise to draw walkers. Beth handed her the water bottle they'd used to siphon gas with. She dumped it in the backseat before sparking a piece of soaked cloth on fire and throwing it in the back as well. The car went up in flames quickly, drawing the walkers even closer and giving them a clear shot.
"Now?" Beth asked.
"Now," Rosita told her, the pair running towards a pile of stones before climbing the chain links side by side. As soon as they were on the other side, they both quickly got to work checking the cars, Rosita being the first to manage to get one to start. "Get in."
The drive to the Sanctuary had been uneventful, Rosita barely talking to or giving Beth a sideways glance. Beth knew because that's practically all she'd been doing towards Rosita. It wasn't like she didn't want the job done. It wasn't like she wasn't just as jonesing to kill Negan just as bad as Rosita was, maybe even more so since he'd been her brother-in-law, since he'd taught her how to drive more than just around the farm, since she was the the one that had lived with them. If anyone in the car had the proper motivation, it was Beth, and she couldn't help but wonder why Rosita was so up in arms about Negan. It had her worried that it wasn't so much Negan that the woman was against but the world in general; Negan was just her target of focus for now. She was on a warpath, and there was no stopping her, though, so Beth just settled in for the long ride and waited until they got to their destination.
Once there, they wasted no time in parking the car in the little mechanic shop Merle had told Rick about, making sure to cover it with one of the dusty tarps laying over equally dusty equipment. Booking it to the red building Sophia had her about, Beth led Rosita up into it and to the fourth floor, where the little girl had said she and Merle made their stand. It was quite obvious, as both women looked around. The other two had left their trash, Merle had left a cigarette butt, and there had obviously been someone sleeping on the floor with how the dust had been disturbed. Beth couldn't help the scoff that came out of her when she thought about that, thinking about the stupid movie she'd watched as a kid and the dirt guy who told the main guy, Milo, not to disturb the dirt.
"What are you laughing about?" Rosita said as she set up her rifle.
"Nothin'. Just somethin' stupid 'bout a movie I watched when I was younger."
"Quit reminiscing. We've got work to do," Rosita snapped.
"Yes, ma'am," Beth responded with attitude and a roll of her eyes.
Beth was at the window, manning the rifle while Rosita prepped some more rope and various other items that might be usable if they needed to go in. Rosita was still dead set on the need to go in and make sure the job was done. Beth kept looking over at her every few minutes, trying to remember everything about the moments that were happening now in case they did manage to survive. It wasn't like they were going to be this close again outside of training, which she barely had done with the woman in the past couple of weeks, and Beth wanted to have as much to remember about it as she could. Turning her eye away from Rosita, she watched what was going on in the courtyard below.
"They got Eugene out there," she informed Rosita as she stepped down from the bench they were using to remain mostly undetectable. "But no Negan. Kinda looks like Eugene's orderin' people around, makin' decisions on the fence."
"Playing some angle," Rosita told her.
"Do you think you could teach me those knots?" Beth asked her, looking up through her lashes to which Rosita just looked at her and went back to work. "What's the problem? You've taught me a bunch, and I already knew some from the farm."
"It won't matter soon."
"You don't know that," Beth said with conviction.
Rosita sat and looked at Beth in contemplation for a moment before moving the rope to show her how to do it and saying, "Alright, here's the first one. Cross it over your hand like that. Then you take the top loop, bring it down, up, and back through, then...Got it?"
"Think so," Beth said, taking over the rope and beginning to make the same knots as Rosita went to look through the scope. "You know, we're lucky you found us. Ani's smart and has a lot of know-how, but you're somethin' else. You know how to do everythin' she don't. Makes me kinda jealous how you two are always buttin' heads but find a way to respect each other."
"Why would that make you jealous?"
"I dunno. You never seem interested in me, so..."
"Why would I be interested in you?" Rosita asked, only for Beth to look away and studiously start making another knot, trying to keep her face as blank as possible even though that stung to hear. "Oh. You're like Tara."
"What? No. I'm not...I don't like...I mean, you're really pretty and you know all this stuff about explosives and fighting and weapons and are just amazing and awesome and...I'm gonna shut up now," Beth tried to deny, though in the end she spoke the truth anyway and basically admitting that she had a crush on the woman.
Rosita sighed and sat on the bench, "Johnny, that's who taught me about bombs. Survivor, prepper-type bullshit." They shared a chuckle before she continued, "Marcus was the one who taught me about cars. He was a mechanic, and a wannabe stunt driver. And an asshole. Knot-tying was from Chaser. It wasn't his real name. There were others."
"Like the people you lost on the way to DC?" Beth asked, happy to be hearing about Rosita's life before they'd all joined up.
"No, not them. You're small. You look weak. A lot of guys saw me the same as I see you. They wanted to protect me, look out for me, like there was no way that I could take care of myself. And I didn't. And I hated the way I felt. So I rolled with it. They didn't even notice that I was picking up everything they knew how to do and doing it better. Then I'd outgrow them and bounce. The sex was just for fun," she said, to which they both chuckled.
"I wouldn't know about that," Beth admitted.
"Come on, it's the end of the world. Everyone should be getting their rocks off," Rosita said. "No one?"
"I've had a few boyfriends, but, aside from hand holdin' and cuddlin', nothin's ever come of it. And the guys who've struck my fancy are all married or taken or they aren't guys. And up until recently, I didn't think anythin' 'bout that 'cause it was a sin. Startin' to realize that's just another thing my daddy was wrong about, and that I don't think he'd care about as long as I was happy. So, no. I haven't been with anyone. Besides, who wants to be with the pathetic little farmer's daughter anyway?" Beth scoffed.
"Hey, you're far from pathetic. I mean, I did ask you to come for a reason. Same reason Abraham asked me to go with him. He saw I could handle my shit. And I never looked back. Not until he was already in Sasha's bed. And I could never understand why, you know? Why did he leave me for her? I blamed her, you know. Ani, not Sasha. I mean, I did. Blame Sasha. But I blamed Ani so much more for just being her that I kept pushing and pushing at her. I can't even look at Sasha without wanting to punch her. And you know what kills me?"
"What?"
"When we got to Alexandria I was acting like I had my shit together for Abraham. And he gets together with Sasha at the welcoming party. Because the son of a bitch was actually good. He actually had his shit together. And living there, feeling like we'd made it, I couldn't pick that up. I really thought I hated Sasha, hated Ani, but really, I hated that he got his shit figured out first. I never told anyone any of this stuff. Who I was, what I did."
"I'm happy you did."
"I was stupid to waste so much time, Beth," Rosita told her. "Don't be like me. Don't live a life full of regrets."
"I couldn't if I tried," Beth said incredulously. "What do you regret?"
Rosita looked at her for a long moment before looking up and sighing, answering, "Not telling Abraham I was happy he was happy. Not telling Maggie or Ani I was happy for their babies. Not telling Sasha it was okay and I wasn't angry at her. A lot of other things."
"I regret not trying to get along with Glenn more. Not thankin' him for teachin' me how to drive properly. Not tellin' Maggie I love her before we left," Beth shared. "I regret not tryin' harder to kill that asshole that night. That I didn't take what Ani taught me and use it against him. That I froze! I froze in fear and couldn't do a damn thing as my brother was bein' beat to death in front of me! It should've ended that night, but I froze!"
"We all did. There were too many of them, and we didn't have any weapons. There was nothing any of us could do," Rosita told her. "But we can do something now."
"Damn right we can," Beth said as she wiped her eyes. "Whatever happens, I've got your back."
"I've got yours," Rosita assured her. "You think that pricks out there yet?"
"Speak of the Devil," Beth answered as the sound of trucks approached the building. Both women got up onto the bench to look out of the window, Rosita holding the rifle while Beth looked through a pair of binoculars. "Dammit! That's Maggie and Ani's doctor! They brought him here?"
"Negan's out," Rosita said, bracing herself to take the shot. "Shit! He's too close to Carson! I can't get a clean shot! Turn on the walkie."
Beth quickly complied, jumping off the bench and reaching into her bag to pull out the item, switching it on just in time to hear, "This is Dr. Eugene Porter, Chief Engineer, speaking. I'm gonna need a dozen more walkers, aka 'dead ones', in the local parlance, for expanding the fence protocol PDQ. Actually, PFQ. This is per Negan, who I also am, even if it takes all night to procure them, so I need able-bodied persons out there in the surroundin' blocks of buildin's snoopin' and snatchin', stat. Negan will be indisposed in the boudoir, so in the mean time, any questions should be directed to yours truly. Dr. Eugene Porter, Chief Engineer, also known as Negan, who I am."
"Change of plans," Rosita growled out.
"So we go in," Beth said, nodding her head. "I'm ready."
They didn't have long to wait before night fell and they would have the ability to move. The cover of night was essential for them to be able to break through the fence without being seen. If they were lucky, they'd be able to get Eugene out and heading back to Alexandria while they were in there, which Rosita had made part of the plan as they readied for the night ahead. Eugene was a coward, and that fact alone had the two of them wanting to get him out of the Sanctuary, where he was obviously being coerced and used. Or at least, that's what they both wanted to believe as they shared twin looks of doubt. As soon as the night had set in deep enough for them to make their move, they made their way towards a weak part of the fence that Beth had noticed, deprived of many of the usual guards.
"You see that over there?" they heard Eugene's voice say. "That is a half-assed attempt at a safety protocol. We need a full-assed, full-court press. That stuff out front with the spikes and the chains and the heads, it's good for the optics. It sends a message to would-be intruders of the 'Don't Mess With Texas' variety. But we need to drill down on actual safety protocol, especially at points that have proven to be janky."
"Well, yeah," a second voice sounded out. "That's why I'm on guard duty now. No offense to that last guy, but he could hardly handle a gun."
Beth took her shot and nailed not only the walker immediately in front of the man, but the man himself, in one go as they watched Eugene fall to the ground. Rosita ran to the gate and told him, "Get up. You're getting out," as she began cutting the wires to the fence to make an opening. "Eugene, get up! We're breaking you out! Eugene!"
"No," he said, even through his fear and tears. "I'm not goin' with you."
"What?"
"I didn't ask you to come so go!" he told them as he stood up. "People gotta be en route," he warned before quickly heading back indoors.
"That son of a bitch!" Beth said.
"The weak, lying sack of shit," Rosita agreed before going back to working on the fence. "This is it."
"Let me go in," Beth said, moving to go to the fence to move it back.
"No, this could take a second," Rosita said, cutting off her way. "I need you to keep an eye out. He said people were en route."
"Yeah, okay," she told her, standing with her back to the woman and keeping her pistol raised.
"Just another second," came behind her and for another minute Beth actually believed that Rosita was having trouble with the gate until she heard the tell tale click of a lock and turned around.
Rosita had gone through the other side of the fence and locked her out, causing Beth to ask, "What the hell, Rosita?"
"I was wrong to ask you to come with me. You have so much life to live, Beth. Go find someone," Rosita told her. "Guy, girl, who cares? Find someone you can get your rocks off with. Someone who means everything to you. Like Sasha and Abraham do to each other. Daryl and Ani. Maggie and Glenn. Tara and Denise. Like Abraham meant to me. It's not your place to be here. There's gotta be a point to it all, right? That's for you to live," she said with a smile, kissing her fingers and reaching through the gate to put them on Beth's cheek. "Go. Live. They need you now."
And with that, she turned around and headed through the same door Eugene did, causing a lot of ruckus as soon as she was inside. Beth stood and watched, trying to get the gate to open somehow, but there was no hope as two men burst through the door with guns drawn. She quickly reached down and grabbed her bag and ran for everything she had. The last time she'd ran like this, she'd been with Daryl, running from the prison while trying to escape the dead. This time, she was alone, having left a valued member of the group, a valuable warrior, and the woman that she'd been pretty sure she was falling in love with behind. It hurt so much that she barely made it back to the mechanic shop before she broke down, hands on her knees as she sobbed and cussed at the loss. She and Rosita had both known what going in meant, and what would have to come after. Rosita was never making it home alive. Movement out of the corner of her eye had her stop and turn, and if looks could kill, the man in front of her would be dead.
~x~
"See? No reason to panic. Just little ol' Darylina and his worry brigade."
"Jus' open the fuckin' door, Merle!"
Merle made sure to stomp and bang things around as he cleared the path to the door again. As soon as it was opened and the ladder was down, Daryl came bounding up, Maggie and Enid right behind him. Merle received a hug he wasn't expecting from Daryl when the man saw his wife trying to get through the mess of boxes with the cats in tow. It was just after that that he ran over to Ania and double checked that she was okay. All she did was hug him tightly and breath in his scent as her body settled from the panic earlier that had been entirely unnecessary. All she knew was that for a second she thought she was heading back to the Sanctuary.
"Do me a fava next time ya leave the bed when I'm sleepin', leave a note," she practically whimpered into his ear.
"Bad dream?"
"Bad dream, bad timin', bad everythin'," she told him.
"Gonna have to keep an eye on her hip, boy. Couldn't move when I found her and practically had to carry her up the stairs," Merle informed him, having a stinking suspicion that Ani wouldn't say a damn thing about her hip if he didn't warn Daryl.
"What's wrong with your hip?" he asked Ania.
"I jus' slept wrong or somethin'. Had ta have Merle pop me hip 'fore it didn' feel like it was on fire, then popped it again meself by accident while we were up here. Doesn' seem like it's been all that long?"
"They didn't stay long," Maggie told her. "But I can't find Beth, and I was hoping she was up here."
"What 'bout Rosita?" Ani asked.
"What about her?"
"She was here, too," Daryl informed her, his hand still firmly holding Ania to him even as they talked about where they could possibly be.
"Enid," Ani said when she saw the girl obviously trying to stop herself from squirming even as she astutely looked down. "What do ya know?"
"They were talking about going after Negan. I don't know if they did though," she said after a moment and Maggie putting her hand on her arm.
"Where's Sasha? Abe? Phia?" Ani rapid fired as she noticed the rest absent.
"Out scavengin' and huntin'," Maggie told her. "They went with a group from here while you were sleepin'."
"Wish Phia would've told me," Ani said. "Gods, what the hell was Beth thinkin'?!"
"Well, there's no guarantee they left yet," Maggie said, wanting to give the benefit of the doubt. "We should split up, look around."
"I've got the fields," Merle said. "Why don't you two check the trailers and you two check the house?"
Enid and Maggie headed outside with Merle while Daryl helped Ani down the ladder and together they checked the house. When they turned up empty handed, Ani began to panic and talk about how much time Beth had spent training lately and how she should have known that something was up with her. By the time they had busted through back to the ground floor and into the foyer, Jesus coming out of Greg's office, both Daryl and Ani were quite miffed by the missing members of their group. Even if Jesus wasn't the most observant person in the settlement, he could tell that they were both aggravated about something, and it couldn't have been the disappointing conversation he'd just had with Gregory.
"What's wrong?" he asked them.
"Where's Rosita and Beth?" Daryl growled out.