Chapter 7: Khajiit or bear?

[18th of Last Seed 4E 201]

To my own surprise I slept quite well and woke up only when the sun was already high up in the sky, much later than I expected, and much later than my usual morning get up time in my previous life, too. At first I was confused about not being in my bed at home, but in some kind of barn, but then I recalled what had happened. The previous day had been the most exciting one in my life, so that sleeping in today was quite understandable. Not only had I found myself in a different world, albeit one I was at least partially familiar with, I had been almost killed by Imperials and a huge dragon, and I had been forced to kill other people, even if that had been mostly for self-defense. While all of this still felt almost like a dream, I had to acknowledge the fact that I apparently was in Riverwood rather than in my home city, and the hay around me and the strange smell and noises underlined the situation; in addition, last but not least, I was a tall and athletic Khajiit now rather than a human, and when I looked at my own body, that fact was impossible to miss. Above and beyond that, judged by the way this new body felt, I was also rejuvenated, and although I was not an expert on Khajiit body development and aging, I'd estimate myself to be in my twenties; I had not felt that well and invigorated for a long time, if ever. The body change was something I appreciated at least as much as the change of world, and I was very grateful to Akatosh for that. I'd better keep in mind what the Divines expected from me, based on the vision I had had; I clearly owed them.

Slowly lifting my thoughts from the events of the past day I looked around from my bed in the hay, but the place Ralof had occupied in the same barn for sleeping was now empty; obviously he had woken up earlier than me, and I assumed that I'd meet him somewhere outside, maybe with this sister. Thus I got up, stretched my body, and slowly walked outside; my first goal was the outhouse I had also used on the day before. Once that particular business was taken care of, I looked around for Gerdur, and I saw her already working the sawmill. In between the noise of the big saw I greeted the Nord lady and asked:

"Good morning, Gerdur. First of all thank you for allowing me to sleep in the barn, and I slept quite well, though much longer than I usually do."

The Nord lady greeted me as well:

"Good morning B'lushona; I am glad to hear that you slept well. Yesterday was indeed an exciting day, based on what Ralof and you told us."

"It sure was. Now, may I ask where my companions are this morning?"

She sighed and told me:

"My stubborn brother insisted that he needed to get to Windhelm as soon as he could. I told him that it was not polite to take his leave without shaking your hand and saying a few words, but he was convinced that he'd see you in Windhelm sooner or later anyway. The young Bosmer lady and the shield-maiden decided that this was a good opportunity to have some protection on the way to Whiterun at least, and maybe it was my fault by claiming that the Jarl needed to learn about the dragon and our situation here quickly. Anyway, Ralof decided to bring her and the shield-maiden to the city, and while Ralof will probably head right towards Windhelm at the crossroads, the two ladies promised to report to Jarl Balgruuf the Greater and let him know that Riverwood is quite exposed and might need a few more hold guards, although I am not sure how much they'd help against a dragon."

I nodded, and I felt a little sad about it; I had hoped to spend some more time with Ralof, and not only with him. The quick departure surprised me a little bit nonetheless; on the previous evening Fiona had looked tired, confused, and in need for some time off. However, maybe she had just taken the opportunity to get rid of me easily, as she did not want to have me around, or maybe the young wood elf had just felt like rushing to Whiterun as quickly as possible, or maybe Freya had pushed on, too. But at least Ralof had gone with them.

Gerdur continued and looked at me with slightly raised brows:

"Oh yes, and Faendal also went with them, which is good, I think, although I do not know how they talked him into joining them. Normally he does some hunting and helps out at the sawmill, but that's all right. The party left about half an hour ago. By the way, sorry to say that, but I had the impression that the petite wood elf lady did not feel comfortable around you. Did something happen between the two of you to make her afraid of you?"

The first part was good to hear; Faendal was, if his real self matched the one in the game, a very capable archer. With both Ralof and Faendal the two ladies had two strong and experienced companions with them and would be well protected on their way to Whiterun. About Fiona's attitude towards me, I did not really know, but I tried to explain what I suspected:

"Not, not really" I responded. "I believe that she has not seen many Khajiit before, and I probably scared her."

"That is possible" she admitted. "I have to say, if I met you on the road, I'd probably be scared, too. Now, as you came with my brother and he spoke for you, that's all right, but…"

I got her point, and when I washed my face later I took the opportunity to look at my image reflection in the river water. It was not as good as a mirror, of course, but yeah – my fur was a mix of dark blue and black, and I had some yellow and orange stripes on me; my sharp teeth were clearly visible in my snout, my upper chest was muscled and dirty, and I was clothed in not much more than rags. If I'd encounter myself and did not know better, I'd be certainly afraid and scared. There had been some clothes in Helgen, but all too small for me. I guess that this differed from the game; in the game, all of the clothes and armor just fit, independent of gender, size, and race; however, reality was different.

Before following those thoughts any further I asked about breakfast, and Gerdur was more than willing to serve that for me and even stopped the sawmill for some time. She and the others had already eaten, of course, but there was enough left for my large stomach, and I was not picky about the variation. In the previous evening I had eaten what I got, and it had been a mix of cold meat, cheese and vegetables; there had been no complaints from my digestive system.

For some time I was getting distracted by the environment; breakfast was served outside, on the same table we had used to rest in the evening before, and without the noise from the saw cutting through the tree trunks – Gerdur had just started the mill again – the environment could have been idyllic; I sure could get used to that. Being mostly in nature with few housings, lots of grass, bushes and trees rather than industrial buildings and plants, creeks and rivers following their natural paths rather then being forced into tubes and beds made of concrete and hearing the noises of birds, bees and other animals rather than cars and trains appealed to me. I had even volunteered for all of that, as I recalled, and that part at least more than fulfilled my expectations. The fighting part was something entirely different, and I'd better learn quickly. Maybe the Companions of Whiterun would take me in and train me if I asked politely?

Once I was done with eating, I got back to the thoughts about my appearance. There would be plenty of opportunities where successful intimidation might be a very good thing, but what could I do to appear less scary and intimidating to others, specifically those I'd like to have as friends? I did not think that they had tee shirts stating something like 'Make love not war' or 'Beat swords into plowshares', but better clothes, or maybe some kind of armor, would certainly be a good idea. For now, though, I had an urge to bathe and swim, and when I saw that the sun was shining brightly, I removed the few clothes I had except for a small loincloth and just stepped into the river. The water was cold, of course, but bearable. If I recalled Skyrim geography correctly, the river originated in Lake Ilinalta rather than coming directly from some mountains, and the lake was likely warmed up by the sun. I happily stretched and rubbed my long limbs, enjoying my first body wash; this was also an excellent opportunity to examine my body, and while I could not really see my head, I liked what I saw. As I had already noticed on the cart, my thighs were very thick and muscled, and so were my upper arms. My shoulders were much broader than those of my previous body had been, and while I could not see the muscles on my chest, I could feel them at least. Yes, that would do, and I was grateful to Akatosh for selecting this great body. I was slowly getting used to being a Khajiit, and I already felt more comfortable in this body than I had ever been in my old one, although my movements were not yet always fully coordinated. For instance, sometimes my tail did not do what I expected it to do, and that was something I needed to learn, although it was kind of funny. Now, if I could only get my hands on some decent shampoo and soap, and maybe a hair dryer…

Being in the water like this, even if it was a little bit on the cold site, was nice. I had also liked to swim in my previous life, and except for the issue of getting dry again afterwards, I started to appreciate the activity as a Khajiit as well. While I was still bathing and had most of my body underwater, a little Nord girl approached. She looked like barely ten years old, and I assumed that it might be Dorthe; Riverwood did not have many children, and the only ones I recalled were Dorthe and Frodnar. Well, a boy with a dog followed her, so that I likely had both of them close to me now.

"Excuse me, mister" the girl started to talk while staring at me.

"Yes?" I replied, careful not to growl.

"You are a Khajiit, aren't you?"

I assumed that they had not seen many of my race before, although I did not know if any of the caravans might sometimes pass through town, and I nodded: "Well, yes, I guess I am."

Frodnar chuckled: "You only guess? You do not know?"

I chuckled as well, or at least I hope that the sound I made was like that:

"No, I am not sure. I am still trying to find out what I am – maybe I am a big bear?"

Now Dorthe giggled: "No, you are not a bear. Bears are …"

She was obviously unsure how to characterize a bear to distinguish from a Khajiit; I decided to have some fun – what was that expression I had read a few times, like 'curiosity killed the cat'? – and suggested:

"Let's see; a bear has fur – check. A bear has a snout and big teeth – check. A bear has paws – check. A bear has strong muscles and limbs – check. A bear attacks children – check!"

While I had spoken that, I had made the related body movements, like opening my snout to show the teeth, extending my claws and flexing my arm muscles, and once I had completed the last words, I jumped out of the water and stretched out my arms in their direction. As expected, they both yelled and ran away, right into Alvor, Dorthe՚s father, and the girl shouted:

"Dad, help! There's a bear, and he's attacking us!"

Alvor had seen me on the day before, and he smiled, saying:

"So, he's attacking? Really? Hm, what are we going to do about that?"

I could see that he was quite amused, but Dorthe did not get it:

"Dad, get your axe or your sword!"

"Why should I, my dear? And by the way, Dorthe, how many talking bears have you met?"

Dorthe looked at me and than at her father, and we two adults both started to laugh. Alvor closed the distance, stretched out his hand and said:

"I've heard about your adventures yesterday, when you came into town with Ralof and the two ladies. I'm Alvor, and we briefly met yesterday evening; I'm the blacksmith here in Riverwood and Hadvar՚s uncle. Although that makes me officially inclined to be on the other side, we don't really take sides here in Riverwood. So, I heard that there was a dragon in Helgen. Is that really true? Can you tell me about my nephew? I think that he was posted up there, and of course I wonder if he managed to survive as well."

"Yes, there was a dragon in Helgen, indeed. And Hadvar, yes, I saw and met him and he did survive, at least when I was there. I have to admit that he was actually the most decent one among the Imperials."

"Most decent?"

"Well, as General Tullius and his captain had decided to have all of us executed, even those who were just innocent bystanders, he was the one who at least tried to question that, and he found a few almost polite words."

"Oh. Yes, Hadvar is certainly not a cold-hearted soldier, and I do not condone everything the Imperial Legion is doing. But tell me, did you really encounter a dragon up there?"

"Yes, we certainly did, and it was a huge and impressive beast. I am glad that we managed to escape more or less unscathed."

"Well, if there are really dragons around nowadays, maybe we should all work together. If you need something, just let me know."

I smiled at him, hoping at least that my expression was recognizable as a smile, and quickly replied:

"Well, I would sure appreciate some clothing or armor parts. Everything I have found so far is way too small for me, you see."

"Yes, that is obvious. Actually, you are in luck, pal. Some time ago I got a reasonable and sturdy leather armor somebody looted from a bandit camp, and the bandit it was taken from must have been a giant of a man. If we adjust it to make room for your tail, it might just fit. I will hand it off to you for half price."

That was a problem; I only had a few septims on me, those I had been able to gather at Helgen.

"I practically have no money at all, I am afraid. Can I work if off, maybe?"

"Why don't you check with Gerdur – she always needs strong men to handle her logs."

"Before I do that," I responded, "can I work with you at the forge for a moment to dry my fur?"

Alvor laughed and nodded, and he guided me to his forge, where he had been working before being called by the children. The forge was set under a small roof at some distance to the house, and this made a lot of sense. Most buildings in this town were made from wood and thatch, and having a forge too close might be dangerous. The ground around the forge was carefully laid with bricks, and the roof was high enough to not be an issue. I helped him with smelting a few chunks of iron ore into ingots in the nearby smelter, mostly by operating the bellows and staying close to take advantage of the heat. About half an hour later, when my fur was dry and I started to sweat, I nodded to Alvor, said a few nice words to Dorthe and Frodnar, and went over to Gerdur again. When I asked if I could help with anything, she told me:

"Well, you might just be strong enough for that. We have cut down a few trees in the forest, and we were going to wait until a few strong men can help Hod to get them over here to the lumber mill. With Faendal gone for now and the farm hands busy with the harvest, this would have to wait, but if you feel up to some menial and demanding tasks and can do that with Hod, I'll generously pay you for that."

"Deal!" I replied.

Hod, Gerdur՚s husband and the resident lumberjack, lead me into the forest southwest of the town, to the section between Riverwood and the farm, and there were a few medium sized logs he claimed he had cut down over the last few days. Hod attached some thick ropes to pull them, and then he asked:

"I am not sure if this will work, but let's see how strong you actually are."

I was interested to learn about that myself, and I started to pull. The first log started to move, and I pulled more. I felt the muscles in my arms, shoulders and legs getting to work, and the strength I could feel in them was way better than what I had in my human body before. Admittedly that human body had not been really trained, but when I now really pushed my body and could see results, like getting small logs to move just with my own body and no machines or so, I almost felt like drugged, and the feeling was just great. Maybe I should have worked out more in my previous life, but that was in the past now.

So, with some help from Hod I managed to pull the first log into town and over to the mill, and Hod told me once this was done:

"Well, this is something. Normally we either need a horse or four strong men for one log; while the logs here are not really large ones, that's still amazing; good work!"

That had been the first log, and we transported a total of nine logs to the sawmill on that day, one by one. We took a few breaks in between, ate something, and drank a lot of water from a small creek with crystal clear water, and work was completed when the sun was quite low already; Gerdur had a good dinner ready for us. I had been sweating a lot, and I was very happy to find out that I could sweat through skin and fur, like a horse, rather than panting like the cats and dogs on Earth would. In addition, exercising my muscles had felt good, and maybe I should keep up doing tasks like that from time to time; I liked that much better than I had ever liked to do sports or anything which required much exertion in my previous life.

I ate three full plates of Gerdur՚s stew, and before I looked for my bed in the hay, I collected my pay and found out that it was good enough to buy the armor from Alvor. The armor was not new, but in decent shape, and it was indeed big enough for me. Not only that, but there was also a set of undergarments in proper size included, and Alvor assured me that it had been cleaned. A modification for my tail was quickly made, and for the first time since I had arrived in Skyrim I was properly clothed. There even was a big sheath for my war axe, and I now had a big backpack for other stuff as well.

Dusk was already gone when I went to my bed in the hay, and when I was horizontal, I noticed that my muscles hurt a bit; I had exercised them a lot today, and I hoped that I had not overdone it. If I did this kind of work on a regular basis, I certainly would not miss a gym or so. Looking up from my position, I could see a part of the sky. The barn was not fully enclosed, but one side was completely open, probably the one which had the least chance of rain coming from that direction. Some stars had come out, and as the two moons, Masser and Secunda, had not yet risen, the view was stunning. I actually got up again once I noticed and went outside to get a better look and gaze at all of the stars I could see. Not even a view from a mountain on Earth came close to this, including a wide bright band like the milky-way and a few spots looking like small nebulae, indicating neighbor galaxies I assumed; however, my cat eyes might also make a difference and influence what I perceived. With the race specific 'Khajiit Night Eye', I was likely to be able to see more stars than a human person could anyway. I started to wonder if Nirn was also part of a solar system with other planets and if I might be able to see them eventually; were there any astronomers around?

Anyway, here I was, getting to sleep in a barn on a bed of hay, and destined to spend my days getting to know the people around me and helping the Dragonborn. Of course, that particular duty assumed that my speculation about Fiona being that special person was actually correct, but I did not really have any proof yet. Even if it was her, so far she seemed not to want any of my help. In addition, I had started to learn how to run, how to fight, and how to cast spells, rather than sitting at a desk all day long, staring at a computer screen and typing on a keyboard. What a radical change!

[Author's Notes: Stargazing in Skyrim must be nice, specifically once you get to see one of the beautiful auroras known to illuminate and decorate the night sky in northern Tamriel from time to time. Maybe our hero gets a chance to see one of those later on, too.

BTW, if you find typos, poorly chosen words, inconsistencies or similar, please do let me know, and I will be happy to correct the corresponding chapter(s).]