Love was an ever changing thing. It morphed and molded to just what you needed. When the time was right it could fill you like a good meal. The faint tickle of butterflies' wings in your stomach left you floating. Love was the only sustenance that could satiate even the most gluttonous of beings. Like a wool coat on an icy winter day it could wrap you in its warmth and fight off the bitter cold. Love was a protector that did its best to look out for you. And love could give the power of sight to the blind. The most mundane and ordinary things could become marvelous and extraordinary.

So why, in Ursa's house, had it only possessed the ability to rear its ugly head at Azula to jeer at her with the taunts of a 5 year old schoolboy 'Not for you! Not for you!'

Love lived in every corner of that house. If Azula hadn't seen it with her own eyes she wouldn't have believed it. In the tiniest touches, the faintest glances, or long drawn silences, love was here. It was only when she moved in its direction that she felt it slip through her fingers like sand, evaporate, and then disappear.

Azula had been at her mother's house since Friday night. She felt like an intruder looking in on a stranger's intimate moments. The couple watched a children's film at Kiyi's demands. The trio sat on the couch huddled up together in a large comforter staring at the flat screen television. Azula brought a small blanket of her own and watched from a reclining chair. But the actions of the trio intrigued her more than the movie.

Kiyi was restless - it was rather late - but she put up her best fight to keep awake by squirming around in the laps of her parents. They indulged her, laughed at her outbursts, shared in her wonder at the events happening on screen and never once got angry as she bounced around at risk of damaging furniture. Azula excused herself to bed. She was sure that they hadn't heard her over Kiyi's shrill laughter.

Saturday morning Azula woke to the sounds of Kiyi playing with dolls in her room. She cracked one eye open and there the little girl was pushing a leggy fashion doll in her face.

"Do you play with dolls?" the mischievous girl asked in earnest.

"No," Azula replied, groggy and brain only half-functioning. "I've never really liked them." She'd been more interested in daggers, arrows, fire - anything that piqued her morbid interests. Securing her father's approval, taunting Zuko, testing the limits of danger with Mai and Ty Lee had been her 'thing'. She would've scoffed at anything as domestic and nurturing as a stupid doll at that age.

But that didn't explain the strange sensation coming over her as she reached for the doll. A tingling warmth settled in her belly.

But it all vanished once Ursa came through the door, a nervous smile in place, as she scooped Kiyi in her arms. "Leave your sister alone dear. She just woke up." As Ursa floated back through the door, Azula could not ignore the tumultuous hurricane in the pit of her stomach.

….

The rest of the day was spent cooking. Cooking and singing. Singing and cooking. Even a bit of dancing while cooking that resulted in Kiyi spilling an entire bowl of batter. Azula watched from the kitchen island as both adults giggled while cleaning up the mess. There were even kisses dotted in between to reassure Kiyi that they weren't angry. Azula excused herself to lie down in her room again.

Love existed in every corner of this house. It was thick as molasses, sweet enough to cause a toothache, and heavy enough to crush her. Not for you! Not for you! the voice started again as she felt her airways constrict.

….

By the time Sunday came, Azula had been rendered breathless by the force of love's chokehold. They were at the neighborhood park. A lake sat near it buzzing with life. Ducks, turtles, and fish alike swam in the murky waters oblivious to the coos and calls of humans surrounding them.

It was all going well at their picnic table until Kiyi decided she was unsatisfied. "I want to see the ducks," she whined.

Azula fought to keep herself together. The child's incessant nagging did nothing good for her already sensitive nerves.

"No Kiyi," Ursa scolded with all the force of a butterfly's wings. "We're eating lunch. Besides, those animals aren't as friendly as you think."

"But I want to see them!" Kiyi shrieked.

A pounding headache threatened to seer Azula's brain in half as the little girl cried and cried. She couldn't even hear herself think with all the racket. "I'll take her."

She watched the way Ursa froze. Her irrelevant husband only quirked an uninterested brow. "B-But Azula…that's not necessary. I can-''

Kiyi's shrieks of joy soared high over Ursa's protests. She was blabbering endlessly about all sorts of nonsensical things as Azula stood from her seat. She hardly registered anything the little girl said. Her ears were ringing. She was too focused on that stupid, nervous smile that Ursa was plastering on her face. It almost stopped Azula, but Kiyi slipped her hand into hers and pulled her down the hill, near the body of water. But it did nothing to squander the image in her mind. She kept playing it over, winding it back, analyzing it frame by frame. A face so familiar, yet she couldn't place it.

Kiyi yammered on and on about the ducks who seemed to pay her no mind. She pouted and fussed and screamed at the poor creatures to play with her, look at her, to come closer. Azula hadn't realized the depth of the young girl's frustrations until she turned to see her standing like the giant Goliath over the family unit of ducks, rock held overhead, and poised to throw.

Time slowed. The scene was bereft of sound. Only the piercing static remained as Kiyi threw the rock down into the waters of the unsuspecting ducks.

Nothing had happened until everything happened. One moment there was only a big splash that ripped a current through the duck family unit, the next, the limp body of a bloodied duckling floated to the surface. Azula could do nothing but gape at the little girl who looked like she'd just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. There were gasps of shock from all around followed by shouts of protest.

"Murderer!"

"Get that animal torturer out of here!"

"She needs to be in jail!"

They were all pointing and glaring at Kiyi. She was crying now, quite loudly. But the worst was yet to come. The mother duck swam over to her baby's broken body, poked and prodded at it a little, then charged out of the water and straight to Kiyi.

Now the girl cried even louder as the mother duck nipped at her ankles, her back, her fingers, and anything else it could nab as it chased her around. Azula felt like cement. Her legs were both too heavy and too wobbly to move. She couldn't speak either. Her chest felt tight and it quickly became harder to breathe. She could do nothing as the mocking laughter of the crowd and Kiyi's strangled screams soared.

It was only the entrance of Ursa that disrupted the atmosphere. She came running down the hill of the embankment, her husband not too far behind, looking frazzled. Ursa stopped to take in the scene. Her eyes widened, mortified. "Kiyi!" she shouted to the hysterical girl. "What happened?"

The crowd had no problem filling her in on the murderess' actions. Azula watched as her mother froze. Her body shook, her eyes remained wide, her expression became pained. It was her husband who caught Kiyi and fended off the distressed mother duck. It was only then that Ursa sprung back into action. She grabbed Kiyi by the shoulders, grip ferocious and her eyes feral. "What were you thinking?" she shouted. "How could you do that?!"

"She's a fucking psychopath!" a crowd member jeered.

As laughter rose among the crowd, Ursa's furious eyes scanned all over until they met Azula's. She seemed to catch herself and that nervous smile from before settled over her face. Wrapping Kiyi in her arms, she held her close, kissed her a few times on the cheek and walked off carrying the child tight.

A thousand fires burned in Azula's chest. Her fists clenched as the familiar taunts of 'Not for you! Not for you!' sounded again. Love existed in every corner of that house. But it was not for her.

….

Azula called for Lu Ten as soon as she set foot in Ursa's house. Of course he wanted details. He implored at length the nature of her hasty retreat. Like usual, Azula evaded all his attempts at questioning. He promised to meet her there in the next half hour. Now all that was left to do was sulk as she packed.

That gnawing, achy feeling pooled in her throat. She bit her lip to keep it down. There was a knock at the door. Azula didn't feel put together enough to answer. The door creaked open anyway.

"We're having cream puffs…" Ursa's voice drifted. Azula remained silent. The only sound between them was the folding of fabric. "You're leaving already?"

"Yes," Azula replied, barely able to hold back her contempt. She heard Ursa shift behind her.

"You won't even stay for dinner?"

"No," Azula said, voice curt. "I called Ruon Jian to pick me up. He'll be here shortly."

"You could've asked me to take you home…"

"No thank you."

"Really Azula," Ursa sighed. "I'm trying."

Azula felt a profound, long forgotten resentment trigger an avalanche within her. Damn it all to hell. This woman wanted all out war. "If this is you trying, I'd hate to see you giving up."

"Azula!"

"Cut the crap, mother. I've never seen you try as hard as you've tried today."

Ursa wore that pitiful look on her face. That look of a woman stricken by years of unwarranted cruelty and misunderstanding. It peeved Azula to no end.

"I don't understand-" Ursa sobbed.

"Of course you don't! You've never even tried to," Azula barked. She stepped closer to her mother, eye contact now unavoidable. "I didn't make her kill that animal, you know. She did it of her own volition."

"I never said you did," Ursa countered.

"You didn't have to. I saw you! That look in your eye. It's the same one you've always reserved for me. I could never forget it."

"Azula, I have never meant you any harm."

"You don't want me here," Azula's voice cracked. She fought back the start of tears. Ursa's eyes welled up. She covered her mouth, shaking her head in protest. "That's not true Azula. I-"

"That is the truth, mother," Azula interrupted. "This house, your husband, your daughter…this is what you've always wanted. It's perfect. You can't have that with me - with Zuko! Kiyi…she's this blank slate. When you see her, you think to yourself 'Maybe I haven't fucked everything up as a mother'."

"Stop it right now!" Ursa protested. "I have never believed that for one moment."

"But you have. I saw it. I saw you when we were at the park. You thought I corrupted Kiyi, that I'd ruined your perfect life. Well I can't take credit for that this time. That perfect little clay plot you were molding just collapsed on itself. You looked at her and knew that motherhood was your greatest failure."

Ursa kept shaking her head, tears falling this way and that.

"I understand why you didn't come back for me," Azula started again. "But you didn't even come back for Zuko. Why?"

"I tried-"

"You should've tried harder!"

"What could I have done?!" Ursa shouted back. "What could I have done without your father meddling?"

"You're the adult mother. You're supposed to have the answers. Not me."

"Well I don't have any answers! Is that what you wanted to hear? Is that what you've been waiting for all along? A chance to taunt your poor mother?"

"I'm taunting you?! You're the one throwing your perfect little family in my face!"

"I've been trying to make you part of it."

"YOU HAVE NEVER ONCE TRIED TO MAKE ME PART OF ANYTHING!" Azula screeched at the top of her lungs. "You have excluded me, ostracized me, you've even been afraid of me, but I've never been part of anything with you. You've thrown me to the wolves. You left! You left me…with father."

"What was I supposed to do? You loved your father."

"You were supposed to protect me."

"But you never needed me."

And then everything began to click. The circuits in Azula's brain were rewired and set to work. All those painful memories were dredged up like hair in a drain and analyzed in this new light. Her jaw slacked open. She couldn't believe it.

Meanwhile, Ursa inched closer. With caution, she lowered her palm onto her daughter's shoulder. She used the other to grab Azula's chin to look deep into her now misty eyes. "You were always so strong, Azula. I thought you'd be alright."

Ursa caressed her daughter's face. Azula was shaking. She turned watery eyes to her mother, mouth still slacked. She jerked away from Ursa's grasp and watched the older woman's shoulders droop.

"Strong? I was a child mother…I still am," she said in between pained gasps. "And you've never known what I needed. I've always wondered if you knew, but now I understand now that you just can't give it. It's not for me."

"Azula…please!" Ursa cried, reaching for her daughter again.

"Ursa!" Azula said sharply. The woman stopped in her tracks too stunned to speak. "I won't see you again."

A car's horn beeped outside. The mother and daughter shared a final, tearful glance. Azula stuffed the rest of her belongings into her suitcase and trudged out the door never looking back.

….

Racing thoughts clouded her mind on the way back home. She felt so stupid. She knew this would be the result yet she still held out hope for something different. It's because you hang around Ruon Jian too much. Ruon Jian…how she missed him. When was the last time they had spoken to each other?

Lu Ten, try as he might, could see that it would be another round of his cousin dodging his questions when he saw the state she was in, so he backed off for the evening. That didn't stop his side glances that Azula caught in the car's mirror. But she was grateful for his silence.

"Don't hesitate to call me if you need me!" Lu Ten shot out as she exited his car, now standing before Ozai's mansion.

She gave a half-hearted nod before shutting the passenger door. His eyes pleaded with her, but she had no fight left. The crackle of gravel sounded as the wheels of Lu Ten's car drove off into the night.

Azula heard nothing but the sounds of her defeated footsteps walking up the path to the front door. She was greeted by Lo and Li as she entered but she made no intention of responding.

She walked down the hallway past her father's office. He was sitting in his swivel chair with his back to the door. She hesitated. It would take only one step for her to be in there. In there with someone who 'got' her. Someone who knew her. But the thought left as soon as it came. How could she face him after visiting Ursa? She'd betrayed the one person who'd always been there.

She kept on until she reached her bedroom. With the door locked and the lights out, she smashed her face into a pillow and sobbed. Quietly, as she'd always done.

She was in mourning. There really was no longer any doubt about Ursa's true feelings towards her. Azula was beginning to believe that there had never been any connection between them, not even an umbilical cord. That little glimmer in her heart hopeful of a different outcome had fizzled out. How could she have been so naive? So emotional? So irrational? So very like Zuko?

Her sniffles settled into a dreamless slumber. As she let fatigue wash over her, she could not remove the taunting voice that - now that she thought about it - sounded a lot like Ozai, saying to her 'Are you satisfied?'

….

Zuko thought he was in the matrix. Everything he'd ever known to be true was all of a sudden flipped upside down. He felt like a turtle struggling to get off its back.

He had returned to his uncle's house after some much needed time apart. The old man seemed to have returned to his usual kooky, tea-loving self. Lu Ten was the one who was changing. His eyes were sharp enough to cut daggers whenever he looked at Iroh. The tension was palpable, but Iroh remained unfazed. Zuko thought he had front row seats to a lion tamer show. But eventually, all wild animals behave like one.

Lu Ten received a call during a game of Pai Sho with his father. It was hard to make out who was on the other line, but Lu Ten was pregnant with worry. His voice warbled, he shot question after question that remained unanswered judging by the frequency of his repetition, and he scurried out of the house without a word to either party. Zuko could not keep his interest from piquing as Uncle Iroh sipped his tea without batting an eye.

Lu Ten returned somber and defeated. He slipped back into his seat across from his father. They resumed their game of Pai Sho. "I'm assuming things didn't go over well," Iroh spoke casually as he moved a piece on the board.

Lu Ten looked strained as he made his counter move. "Assumptions are not certain. You should ask if you would like to know."

Iroh leaned back in his chair, "Did Azula and Ursa enjoy their time together?"

"Azula went over to mom's?!" Zuko interjected. Now he was really curious. That was a plot twist he never expected.

Lu Ten sighed before turning to answer him. "Yes," he said through gritted teeth. "I just went to pick her up."

"Wow," Zuko whistled. "I never thought I'd see the day. I thought they'd rip each other's throats out before ever living under the same roof again."

Iroh chuckled into his cup of tea. Lu Ten gave his father the stink eye before scolding Zuko. "Assumptions are not facts, cousin. Be careful when taking the hearsay of third parties as truth."

"Assumptions are not all bad," Iroh countered. He had a smug look on his face as he grabbed one of his game tiles and made a few moves on Lu Ten's side of the board. Zuko watched with rapt attention as his older cousin steeled himself waiting for his father to finish. "I make tea frequently. I often share it with my friends, colleagues, and family members. It's always a hit when served and I've even created blends that helped with people's ailments. It can be assumed that I've spent many years mastering the art of tea making."

Now Zuko laughed. Not because it was funny, but because only his uncle could come up with such a ridiculous analogy. Lu Ten didn't look pleased with either of them. "Greatness and wisdom can be assumed of any man who works hard to uphold a certain image of themselves. For example," Lu Ten stated now facing Zuko. "Your father is assumed to be a diplomatic businessman and honorable father. But we know otherwise. Do you understand the difference between assumption and knowledge now?"

Zuko could barely swallow the lump in his throat. The air around them had shifted. Sharp icicles and wisps of flames lived simultaneously in that room. He felt like he was the ball being hit back and forth between two players in a ping pong match. He'd lost all ability to speak.

"I see," Iroh said as Lu Ten grabbed a tile of his own to make a few moves that cemented his victory.

….

Chan had made many mistakes in his life - and he was sure he'd make many more! - but he never imagined how a petty rivalry would affect his dearest friend. Chan had never seen Ruon Jian so sullen. He'd been sulking every day since being iced out by Azula. Even worse, his performance on the court had also been less than satisfactory.

But that wasn't the worst of it. Chan could not stand the look of defeat on Azula. Especially not when he hadn't been the cause of it. She was taciturn where once bold, sat in class or out in the hallways dissociating from the world around her, and unfathomably paranoid.

Guilt clawed at his insides and threatened to make itself his master. He'd never expected things to snowball so far out of control. It had all been a game. At least for him it was. How was he to have known that his friend would fall in love with a girl he vehemently detested and whose father was a sadistic bully?

But he had been warned. Chan sometimes caught Mai's eye in the hall. Panic would surge through both of them before they averted their eyes. He was in deep. There was no way this would end without tragedy. But how could he look into Ruon Jian's eyes knowing that he was the cause for all this pain?

So he made a choice. After another downtrodden afternoon of volleyball practice, Chan went knocking on Coach Kyoshi's door.

"Chan," she greeted without looking up from the paperwork on her desk. "It's so nice to see you. What brings you here today?"

"Coach," Chan said as he eased into a chair. "There's something I need to tell you."

Sorry for the long wait/cliffhanger. I started film school and had no time to myself. My schedule's lighter now so hopefully I can update more. Let me know what you all think :).