Author's note: Q_Q I'm sorry for super late update! Happy reading! Btw I also upload this fic on AO3 and sometimes put some artworks there! Please read it there to enjoy the fic with my artworks! (not every chapter though)

Chapter 17 - Cooking

Three days had been passed since Cor returned to Insomnia. The man was totally bored now as he couldn't go to the training room. Don't mention the training room, he couldn't even go to the citadel. Clarus took the key to his office and forbade him to work for a few days.

Reason? Cor hadn't taken any annual leave he had last year and Clarus forced him to use it now, right after he returned from three weeks of mission. The marshal also got some sutures on his chest and if he grabbed his sword to train, it was certain that the wounds would be opened. Well, at least tomorrow he finally got the permission from the King's shield to come to the citadel at least only to do his paperworkーwhich he was sure had piled up due to his absence.

Cor was standing in front of his refrigerator, staring at the ingredients he had. But he closed it again as he couldn't decide what to make today. It was the ninth meal he would make after he came home, and now he had no idea what to cook. He missed the citadel's food from the cafeteria on the twenty third floor, where he could just pick anything on the display for his lunch and not bother to think about what to cook. He missed his favorite izakaya near the citadel, or any restaurant he visited after his working hour, where he could just pick the food from the menu. But, to be honest, he missed something else, more than cafeteria or izakaya food, and more than training or working in his office. He missed Eira Heallint.

What is she doing right now? Is she still in the citadel? Has she returned to her home, yet?

He glanced at the clock on the wall. It was seven p.m. and if today was Eira's shift, probably she hadn't returned home, yet. He wished Lizette was around and not let Eira go home by herself. Perhaps Cor should talk to Lizette to never let Eira go home alone and always ask another crownsguard to temporarily replace her if she was unable to work.

But then, Cor would never have any chance to drive her home anymore.

Fuck, Cor. What are you thinking?

Thinking about Eira made him remember that since the phone call two weeks ago, he hadn't exchanged email with her anymore. But, he didn't know whether he should text her about it or not. He wasn't someone special for her, he didn't need to report his whereabouts to her, did he? Not that she would care about it. She would think that Cor was a creepy marshal and feel weird about why the marshal should tell her that he had returned to Crown City.

Yes, they were close. But, in terms of friends… he didn't feel that Eira thought of him as a friend. Why would a teenager have an old man like him as a friend?

Then what were they? Just mere colleagues, who unknowingly were close enough to watch a movie and have dinner together?

Cor sighed, rubbing his face as his head thought about something else but not about what to eat right now. Foolish Cor.

Ding! Dong!

He jolted, quickly turning his head to the way of his house entrance. Wondering who came at this hour, he sighed and walked out from the kitchen. He rarely got any visitor, except for the caretaker arranged by the citadel to help him take care of his house especially when he was away. But he had the key to his house, thus he wouldn't need to ring the bell, unless the old man forgot to bring his key which never happened in thirty years he served the marshal.

Cor didn't peek from the window and casually opened the door, only to be surprised by the figure he saw behind the gate. He didn't realize that he slightly parted his lips, not believing what his eyes just caught. It was a medic that never stopped bothering his head, as his heart was feeling something he shouldn't have. It was Eira Heallint.

It seemed that she was also startled by him, judging by the way she widened her eyes and not saying anything there.

Oh fuck Cor. What? Why? You're not seeing things, right?

"Eira?" He froze, still not believing that the raven haired young medic was there giving a sheepish smile at him beyond the gate. Her smile made him realize that she wasn't a mere illusion and now the marshal walked out from his house to the gate while asking, "What's going on?"

"Hi." A sweet smile passed over her small face, the kind of smile that he yearned to see since he left for his mission. Oh, how much he missed her.

He opened the gate and saw the way she glanced down for a moment before looking up to him and whispering, "Did I bother you?"

Cor hastily shook his head, "No. No, no. Come in."

Eira nodded then began to follow him to enter the house. Having her walking behind him to enter his house just created tumultuous thudding inside his chest. Cor didn't remember the last time a woman visited his place, and now he was leading the one he had a crush at to his home. He wished he could maintain his composure, or… his desire. This woman was the daughter of a royal council member, William Heallint, his friend. He couldn't, no, he shouldn't lay a finger on her, not even touch a strand of her hair.

"Aa… Please have a seat," Cor randomly pointed at his sofa. He was flustered, he didn't even dare to look at her face right now.

"Ah… Yes… Thanks."

He glanced at her as she sat on the sofa, then he noticed that she brought a white paper bag which now she placed on her lap.

Cor sat across her seat, gulping as he struggled to maintain his sanity. Theーyoungーwoman he was falling in love with now was sitting on the sofa, inside his house, where there were only the two of them. It would be a lie if he didn't have any excitement in him, imagining things he wasn't supposed to do.

"Marshal."

"Yes?" Cor's heart almost stopped beating, surprised by her soft voice that called him. Oh, he wished that she would call his name instead. Fuck. He really wanted to go over there, confess his feelings, and have her right now.

Fuck. No.

"Ah… I bring some fruits and coffee jelly." She placed the paper bag she brought on the table and gently pushed it toward him.

"For me?" Of course, you idiot. "Thank you." Cor took the paper bag and slid it closer to him. He peeked into the bag, and the warmth sipped inside his chest when he caught the fruits and the coffee jelly in it. Raising his head to look back at her, Cor opened his mouth, wanting to say something to her, but he didn't know the words to say.

But then Eira opened her lips before him, "I… I heard you take days off… and I'm wondering whether you're sick or injured."

A soft chuckle escaped his throat after she spoke, happy to know that she was worried about him. He replied, "Thanks for your concern. Yeah, it's embarrassing but I'm wounded a bit and Clarus forbids me to come to the citadel. He takes this chance to force me to take some days off, remembering that I rarely took one last year."

"Is it bad? Are you treated? Should I cast a spell on it?" Eira asked, her voice mingled with worry.

Cor forced himself not to grin widely. He was happy that she cared about him, but instead, Cor shook his head, "No, no need. It's okay. It's already outside of your working hour. No overtime allowed here."

"It's not a big deal. Really." Eira insisted.

"It's just a scratch." Cor still refused.

Eira shut her mouth, biting her lower lips while fiddling her fingers on her lap. She was still facing him but her eyes glanced elsewhere. Damn, Cor cursed himself when he knew that she was disappointed after he refused her to look at his wound. He just didn't want her to work right now, not outside of her working shift. She wasn't paid to be his personal medic, even though Cor would be more than pleased to have her as his personal medic. He just… wanted to monopolize her.

She then raised her head and looked straight back at him. "It won't hurt to let me see it, right?" she still insisted.

Cor was reluctant. He was happy that she insisted on seeing his wound, which meant that she cared about him. Come on, she took the trouble of coming all the way here from the citadel only to visit him. He was sure that she wouldn't do the same to another crownsguard.

Could he think that he was… special?

No. Don't.

Seeing that Cor was still not replying, Eira added, "Casting a simple healing spell also won't hurt me. I'm not using any magic today."

Also, there was actually another reason why Cor didn't want her to look at his wounds. The old man was nervous. He didn't want her to notice how his heart was hammering inside his chest right now. And having her staring at his bare body, there was another excitement that engulfed him.

Fuck.

Shutting his eyes for a second, he sighed, "Fine."

Cor saw a grin on her face soon after he gave his permission. He stood up while glancing at her, unwittingly admiring the happy face she made when he agreed to let her cast a spell on him. A soft sigh escaped his throat then the man swiftly took off his t-shirt.

Eira left her seat and walked toward him. Once she stood closer to him, she looked down then raised her head again while pouting after she caught the bandages covering his chest. "Just a scratch?"

Cor chuckled. Eira was so adorable as she frowned and slightly curled her lips to show her disappointment.

"Few scratches, then." He grinned.

"I'm going to cast a spell." Eira smiled. "I'm sure you're already bored staying at home and unable to train right?"

Cor gave off another chuckle. "You know."

Eira giggled. "The marshal prefers to go to the training room on his winter holiday. Guess he won't like it if he's unable to spar in his supposedly working days."

The marshal didn't reply and just stared at her. He didn't even realize that the smile hadn't disappeared from his face yet. Cor watched her walk closer, until he could faintly perceive her sweet fragrance. He didn't know whether it was her perfume or her shampoo. Oh, being with her this close just made him want to brush his lips to her hair, tenderly fiddling her hair before planting a soft kiss on her lips.

Eira raised her head, staring at him with the pair of her alluring eyes. And at that moment, Cor's heart was thumping roughly inside his chest.

He watched her as she looked down at his chest and raised one hand to softly touch the bandage that covered his skin. He gulped once he sensed the faint warmth on his skin. Usually he would avert his gaze, looking elsewhere but not to the young medic who was now drawing a magic circle over his wound.

Yes, he was nervous right now. But he couldn't lift his eyes away from her. Three weeks since the last time he saw her, and now, of course he couldn't avert his attention away from her. She didn't know how much he wanted to pull her under his embrace, just like that time when she stumbled and almost fell at that night when they went home together. She didn't know how often she visited his dream as he spent his lonely night under the cold tent in Leide. She didn't know that the marshal was currently enchanted by her presence.

He loved her. But, there were a hundred things that prevented him from confessing his feelings to her.

Cor tried to breath slowly. He almost held his breath so she didn't notice how nervous he was right now. Hopefully a mere forefinger of her wouldn't know about the clamour in his chest right now.

Eira's finger was so soft as she gently moved along his skin. And when it touched the place that wasn't covered by the bandage, it left the trail of heat on his skin. He knew his temperature was rising, and he hoped she didn't think that he got a fever. The marshal cursed his mind, but, no, no, he couldn't escape her charm. Funny, she was currently casting a spell to heal him, right? Not to trap him under her enchantment.

He gulped when she closed her eyes and murmured the spell. He loved her voice, even when it was only an almost unheard whisper. Cor asked himself, she cast a healing spell, right? Not something that petrified him and lured him into a desire, right?

"It's done."

But only with a few movements, just a few movements and Cor could feel her warmth.

"Thanks," his reply was almost a whisper.

What if he pulled her body inside his arms? What if he caressed her cheek, lifted her chin, and planted a soft kiss on her voluptuous lips?

Cor was staring into her eyes, the pair of alluring black eyes that reflected his figure. It felt like those eyes were pulling him, closer and closer as if there was no space allowed between the two. There were only him and her, in his home, and he really wanted to pin her against the wall and taste her lips with his.

No.

No.

Cor, no.

She was too young for him. She was too young for him. Cor repeated those words like a spell in his head.

But the way she looked at him right now, the way she didn't blink as she saw him right now. It was like an invitation for him to lean closer… and… have her.

Cor didn't realize that he had touched her head, caressing it softly before tucking some strands of her hair behind her ear. His fingers softly grazed her cheek, and what clouded his mind was an unbearable desire.

He never lifted his gaze from her eyes, and he could also sense the same desire emitted from them.

Fuck.

Cor gasped, quickly stepping away from her while clearing his throat. "Ah… Um…"

He cursed himself. He wanted to hit the wall with his head.

Fuck. Fuck. What were you trying to do?!

Just like him, a gasp escaped from her lips as she moved away from him.

For the fucking Astral's sake, what were you trying to do?!

"I..." Cor scratched his head, "I was cooking for dinner," he blabbered. He clearly knew that he didn't need to fucking caress her head and tuck the strands of her hair only to tell her that he was cooking for dinner. Then? What kind of response did he expect from her after he told her that kind of information? Asking her for dinner together? Right. What a foolish way to escape from this situation.

Eira replied, "Ah, yes? Sorry I was coming here without prior notice…"

Okay, great, now he just made everything awkward.

"No, no, it's fine. I mean… if you haven't eaten, yet. Want to have dinner here? Perhaps… if you are still curious about the marshal's cooking."

Foolish Cor. He really did invite her to eat together. Now? After he touched her without her permission? The marshal didn't understand how his mind works.

"Eh?" Eira was stuttered, "Ah… Right… Yes… Sure…"

Yes, sure. Eira was too kind and she wouldn't have a heart to refuse Cor's invitation. Even though he hoped that she would refuse. But, on the other hand, he didn't want to bid a goodbye to her. He still missed her. Even after that weird thing he had just done, he still wanted to spend time with her a little bit longer.

"Great." Cor smiled, trying to be calm even though it was an endeavor to shut the roaring in his chest. "Sorry that I promised you to cook on White Day but there was a sudden mission."

"No, no problem at all." Eira shook her head and gave an awkward chuckle.

"Any request?" Cor walked to the sofa and took the t-shirt he placed there before.

"Ah… Um… The marshal's special dishes, if you have any?" she gave another awkward chuckle.

Cor gave a pause, thinking about the menu before replying as he smiled at her, "Got it."

He wore his t-shirt and smiled at her again before walking to his kitchen.

As he stepped inside his kitchen, Cor let out a heavy sigh while brushing his face with both of his hands. His cheeks were burning, remembering about the things he just did in the living room. He almost kissed her. It was the third time he wanted to kiss her.

The first one was at the New Year's party in the citadel. The second one was at that night when they went home together. And tonight was the third one, and the worst one because he was almost unable to stop himself.

He opened the refrigerator to take some ingredients while cursing himselfーbut of course not saying it out loud because he was afraid Eira would follow him and hear it. Cor pondered for a while after he took some ingredients, then he finally decided what to make. He began the prep, while silently hoping that cooking would calm his mind.

Cor glanced at the kitchen entrance when he sensed that Eira followed him. She asked, "Do you need some help?"

He shook his head and returned his focus to the ingredients, "No need. You're my guest. It's fine."

"Okay," she replied.

Cor continued to prep his ingredients. Noticing that she didn't move from the door for a minute, he said, "You can sit anywhere. It won't take a long time but I don't recommend standing while waiting."

Eira chuckled, with a voice that melted Cor's heart. He then glanced at her as she took a seat at the breakfast stool in front of him. "Best seat to watch the marshal cooking," she muttered which made Cor let out a soft laugh.

No one would expect that the marshal was a bit nervous to cook in front of his crush. His hands weren't trembling and he still cut the ingredients swiftly without cutting his own fingers due to his restlessness. But his heartbeat didn't seem to calm down yet, and the awkward atmosphere was still lingering between them.

Cor sometimes glanced at her, observing the way she sat straight and guessing that probably she wasn't really uncomfortable being here. Especially after he touched her like that. He should apologize, he knew. But, it meant that he should admit that he was going to do something unforgivable to her.

"Do you want some water?" Cor asked, thinking that maybe it would relax her. At least he didn't want her to be uncomfortable around him, and they could return to the way they were before. Just a marshal and a medic who somehow were close enough to have dinner a few times like this.

"Ah, yes, thank you," she smiled, still adorable as usual even though he caught a nervousness from her expression.

Taking a glass and filling it with tap water, Cor handed it to her which gained him a "Thank you," from her.

Cor then finished his prep and began to cook. Facing his stove, now Eira who was sitting at the breakfast bar could only see his back.

The sizzling sound and mouthwatering aroma filled the room as he cooked. Somehow he was glad that Eira was currently on his behind and unable to see his expression right now. Oh the Astral. Cor still remembered her warmth as she touched him with her fingers. He also still remembered the softness of her hair and cheek on his fingers. Now, the young woman was watching his back as he moved his hands to make their dinner.

It felt weird, having someone else around when he was cooking like this. It had been a long time since he had a guest who watched him cooking. His past lover stayed in the kitchen when he cooked, but not solely watched him cook. And on the outpost after the mission, the crownsguard members never observed him cooking like the way she did it right now. Good. He was nervous.

"It smells nice." Eira said when he almost finished.

Cor lifted the corners of his lips. Plating the dishes, he then asked her, "Is it too much?"

"No. It's nice," she smiled.

Cor placed the plate in front of her and caught the gleam of happiness from her eyes. "Aaa… Finally I can taste the marshal's dish."

"Sorry that it's actually not my special dish. My ingredients are limited."

"No. No, it's fine! I'm very happy with this." Blushing, Eira grinned at him. "I didn't expect that I'll have the chance to taste your dish tonight."

His lips curved into a smile. After taking his share, Cor sat on another seatーon a different side of the breakfast bar from her. He didn't dare to sit next to her, but he couldn't sit in front of her since there were kitchen utensils on that side. Also, by sitting here, he still could see her face.

"Dig in," Cor said.

Eira smiled at him, with eyes sparked in excitement. The young woman then took her chopstick and began to eat, meanwhile Cor just held his chopstick still and just waited for her to take the first bite. He wanted to see what kind of expression she made when she ate his cooking for the first time.

"Mmmh!" she munched and looked at him in amazement. Gulping, she then praised him, "It's delicious!"

"Really?" Oh, how happy Cor was when he heard it.

"I love it." Her cheeks were reddened. "Now I really envy the crownsguard. I'm sure the meal you cook for them boosts their morale."

Cor laughed, "I'm flattered." The man then also started eating.

"Now I'm embarrassed since I can't cook as well as you, Sir," she said before taking another bite.

"I can't judge. I haven't tasted your cooking."

"Should I cook some for you?"

A soft chuckle leaving his throat, "Really? Well, if you want, I won't refuse. Will you give me the potion again like the other time?"

"Afraid of the poison?" she giggled.

"Probably."

"Okay. I'll give you the potion."

Cor laughed, amused by the conversation. Ah, she was so adorable. He asked, "Shall I think of it as a challenge?"

"To see how strong the Marshal's stomach is?" she took a mouthful of her meal again.

He chuckled. Oh, how could this young woman make the stern marshal laugh so easily like this?

"Interesting." Now Cor was so excited to taste her handmade cooking.

"Great. I'll make a lunch box when you come to the citadel."

Fuck. Can I just marry her?

"Are you serious?" he asked.

"Of course!"

Cor couldn't stop his lips to form a smile, "But I think I should take back my words. Please try not to poison me. I'm not fond of taking a sick leave."

She laughed, and Cor really loved her laugh.

"I can see that you're already bored from taking leaves for three days now. Okay. No challenge and I'll make sure not to poison you, Sir."

Both of them chuckled and they continued to eat. Cor gazed at her as he munched. And after he gulped, he suddenly said, "Cor. You can call me Cor."

"Eh?" she almost choked. Quickly gulping, she placed her chopstick and took her drink. Placing down her glass, she looked at him in surprise, "Eh?"

Cor gulped. It was a rather spontaneous request from him. But then he added with a soft smile on his visage, "Just Cor. Let's forget the formality."

"Eh? But… Marshal… I," she was flustered, both cheeks were already smeared in crimson hue.

Cor feels stupid. He just did something awkward a while ago and now he asked her to call him with just his name. He was usually calm and cautious about any of his actions. But, being with her, it felt like he lost the control of his mind and action. Gulping, he explained, "You can call me Marshal in the citadel. But you're not working now and so am I. Just call me by my name."

Lie. He just wanted to hear Eira calling his name. He didn't want to be the marshal for her. He just wanted to be at the same position as her. Just like a friend. And not a superior and his subordinate. He wanted to erase the boundaries. And perhaps by doing so, he would get closer to her. Even though he knew that he shouldn't destroy the boundaries and instead he should build a stronger fortress so he wouldn't fall deeper into this foreign feeling called love.

But he couldn't. He loved her. And even if he couldn't have her as his lover. At least, he wanted to be her friend. Just at the same position. Not the marshal and the crownsguard medic.

"I," she cleared her throat. "Is that okay?"

"Why not?"

"Aa," she gave off a muffled squeal, "C-Coー Marshal."

Cor chuckled.

"Impossible."

"Noctis calls me Cor." Well, sometimes.

"But he's a prince," she argued.

"And you're a daughter of a royal council member. Technically you're not my subordinate."

Eira bit her lower lips. "Well, you're right… But I'm still a crownsguard medic."

"In the citadel, yes. But this is not the citadel."

"I'm afraid it would be impolite, Sir."

Cor laughed, "You know? By calling me Sir you just make me feel that I'm so old." He was indeed an old man, though.

"Ah, I'm sorry." She was flustered. Her face was red, and Cor couldn't help but happy seeing that he wasn't the only one who was nervous here.

"It's okay." Cor took another bite of his dinner. After he munched, the man said, "I'm not forcing you. It's already a habit anyway. But if you can, I'll appreciate it."

She smiled, a sheepish one. "Okay, Sir. Ah… I mean…"

Cor chuckled and took another mouthful piece of his food.

He didn't understand about his actions today. First, he almost did something unforgivable to her. And second, he now asked her to call him by his name.

It seemed… Cor had already given up about creating a distance between him and this particular young lady.